WEBVTT - Devale's Man Cave with Nice & Neat podcast

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<v Speaker 1>Why is monogamy important.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you why, because I believe monogamy helps me

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<v Speaker 2>be disciplined.

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<v Speaker 1>Deadass.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoued and we're the Ellis's.

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<v Speaker 1>You may know us from posting funny videos with our

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<v Speaker 1>voys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

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<v Speaker 1>I make you need therapy most days. Wow. Oh, and

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<v Speaker 1>one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir,

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<v Speaker 1>we are.

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<v Speaker 2>We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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<v Speaker 2>li's most taboo topics, things.

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<v Speaker 4>Most folks don't want to talk about.

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<v Speaker 2>Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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<v Speaker 2>is a term that we say every day. So when

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<v Speaker 2>we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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<v Speaker 2>Were about to take philosof to our whole new level.

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<v Speaker 3>Dead Ass starts right now.

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<v Speaker 1>Storytime.

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<v Speaker 2>Back in then, I believe it was twenty nineteen, Kadeen

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<v Speaker 2>and I dropped a podcast about monogamy and it went viral.

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<v Speaker 1>I was canceled on Twitter for about three days.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't know because I don't have a Twitter, or

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<v Speaker 2>at the time, I didn't have a Twitter, but I

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<v Speaker 2>have a Twitter now, and I don't really tweet that much.

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<v Speaker 2>But the podcast went viral and everybody took a sixty

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<v Speaker 2>minute conversation, boiled it down to a thirty second clip,

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<v Speaker 2>and then created their own ideas and narrative not only

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<v Speaker 2>about me as a person and my wife as a person,

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<v Speaker 2>but about us as a union. And what I learned

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<v Speaker 2>from that moment is that conversation was probably the most

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<v Speaker 2>healthiest conversation that me and my wife.

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<v Speaker 1>Have had to date. And I'll tell you why.

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<v Speaker 2>Karaoke I'm here with four brothers. Well, I'm here with

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<v Speaker 2>three brothers. I'm the fourth brother. Four Brothers is actually

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<v Speaker 2>one of my favorite movies. Shout out to John Singleton.

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<v Speaker 2>But uh, this song I'm gonna see if y'all know it,

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<v Speaker 2>y'all can jump in at any time if you want to.

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<v Speaker 2>We're brothers, we're happy, and we're singing, and we're color.

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<v Speaker 1>Give me a hive, five beautiful guys, Dona Maya. Now

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna tell ya real quick why I chose that song.

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<v Speaker 2>I chose that song because the Wayne's brothers chose that

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<v Speaker 2>song for particular reason. They did not want to be

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<v Speaker 2>Blackfaced when they decided to do their own show. And

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<v Speaker 2>one of the biggest reason why I followed you guys

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<v Speaker 2>is because I felt like you were the exact opposite

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<v Speaker 2>of blackface when I listened to the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna pay some bills.

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<v Speaker 2>I gonna introduce you guys to my guests who need

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<v Speaker 2>no introduction when we get right back.

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<v Speaker 1>We're back, so let me do a quick introduction of

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<v Speaker 1>my guests over here.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, y'all already know a couple of you guys

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<v Speaker 2>and ladies because I was introduced by my wife to

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<v Speaker 2>the hosts of the Nice and Knee podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>We got Duke, we got Omar, we got Jalan.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to call them d OJ, righty DJ Department

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<v Speaker 2>of Justice.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, y'all represent this very well. Okay, see how I

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<v Speaker 1>did that? You started something. But seriously, y'all, do represent

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<v Speaker 1>us well.

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<v Speaker 2>I watched hours of your content by accident, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna let you guys introduce yourself by asking you questions.

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<v Speaker 2>But I watched hours of you guys content by accident

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<v Speaker 2>because I felt like I was watching the young men,

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<v Speaker 2>because you guys are about five years younger than me,

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<v Speaker 2>answer questions for me. As a forty year old man

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<v Speaker 2>that I wanted to ask my elders. And as you

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<v Speaker 2>guys know, you know, well, I don't know. We'll talk

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<v Speaker 2>about this too, But my father's always been in my life.

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<v Speaker 2>But my father wasn't vocal as a mentor should be

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<v Speaker 2>to a son. My father was a mentor to hundreds

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<v Speaker 2>of other men, but when it came to me, it

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<v Speaker 2>was like, that's my son.

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<v Speaker 1>We don't talk about this. So I always kind of

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<v Speaker 1>felt lost to certain things.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I was listening to y'all speak, I was like, man,

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<v Speaker 2>if I was in my twenty and I heard this,

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<v Speaker 2>it would have gave me some direction on where I

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<v Speaker 2>needed to go. So, first and foremost, kudos to you guys. Secondly,

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<v Speaker 2>we're going to introduce each of you. We're gonna start

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<v Speaker 2>my boy Jealon here right first and foremost. I've been

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<v Speaker 2>calling him Jalen this whole time. I said, how, how

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<v Speaker 2>do you pronounce your name? He said, it's never been Jalen,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's sad it with that voice. Right here, here's

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<v Speaker 2>my boy Jelin and Jelan. Please introduce yourself. Tell everybody

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<v Speaker 2>why you got into podcasting, what you do, and who

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<v Speaker 2>you are I.

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<v Speaker 1>Got into podcasting. My name is Jelan.

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<v Speaker 3>I got into podcasting because me and my brothers here,

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<v Speaker 3>we will be having hours and hours of conversations at

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<v Speaker 3>my shop. I'm a barber by trade, right, so we'll

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<v Speaker 3>be having hours and hours of conversations. We will see

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<v Speaker 3>other men will come in and exit in and you know,

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<v Speaker 3>these are other men that we admire, some that you

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<v Speaker 3>ain't really know, like that they get a haircut, they

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<v Speaker 3>stay around for three four hours and we just like

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<v Speaker 3>exchanging game and we're like, hey, yo, like we should

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<v Speaker 3>really do something with this. Right around the pandemic time

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<v Speaker 3>we started the podcast, originally Pan happened, we had real

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<v Speaker 3>life situations. We put it on whole pandemic was starting

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<v Speaker 3>to clear up a little bit. So twenty twenty one,

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<v Speaker 3>twenty twenty one, we went ahead and we launched it.

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<v Speaker 3>We launched it and man, honestly, we were received. I

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<v Speaker 3>think it exceeded our expectations. Thousands and thousands of people

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<v Speaker 3>were resharing it, whether it was people in our community,

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<v Speaker 3>outside the community, people that was going through what we

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<v Speaker 3>were going through, saying similar things that you're saying as well,

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<v Speaker 3>and you know, it really just took off for us.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, I've been having conversations like this. As I mentioned,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm a barber. I've been having conversations like this because

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<v Speaker 3>to you like you, my father, we didn't sit down

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<v Speaker 3>and we didn't have sex conversations.

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<v Speaker 2>We had that conversation in podcast. We didn't talk about

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<v Speaker 2>sex me and my pops.

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<v Speaker 3>Ever never my dad gave me one sex conversation and

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<v Speaker 3>he looked at me square in the face and he said,

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<v Speaker 3>remember when you had sex, it's for the woman.

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<v Speaker 1>For you. He told you that because we are your

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<v Speaker 1>father's in your lives.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, okay, sorry to hear that, but this was the

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<v Speaker 2>conversation my dad had with me about sex. Yo, So

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<v Speaker 2>you're having sex? Yeah, you know, I got comments in

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<v Speaker 2>my drawer right, I see here at the bottom. And

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<v Speaker 2>to this day we still laugh about it. Like my

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<v Speaker 2>dad laughs and be like, I didn't know what to say.

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<v Speaker 2>Like he grew up Southern Baptists, you don't speak about

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<v Speaker 2>sex because his abstinence or nothing else. So he felt

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<v Speaker 2>like he was doing a disservice to his religion and

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<v Speaker 2>his calling if he speaks to his son about sex.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't understand that. You know what I'm saying, so

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't understand that. So I was a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>upset about it growing up. But I wish I had

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<v Speaker 2>people like us, so I knew what I was doing

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<v Speaker 2>because even with sex, I didn't know it was for

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<v Speaker 2>the woman in the beginning. Think about how we learned

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<v Speaker 2>about sex and now I'm glad you brought that up

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<v Speaker 2>because we're talking about matter of fact, let's not get

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<v Speaker 2>into it.

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<v Speaker 1>Omar, Omar, got to stop rubbing the mic. Poorse Yo.

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<v Speaker 1>That's nasty work.

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<v Speaker 2>Crazy word every episode that happens one time, but the

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<v Speaker 2>omer I believe, fourth round one hundred and first pick. Wow, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>you did the home work twenty twelve. Yep, Denver Broncos. Yes, sir,

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<v Speaker 2>go ahead and introduce yourself to everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>My name is Omar Bolden.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm a father, a husband, man of God wellness, entrepreneur, actor, podcaster,

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<v Speaker 3>content creator. I pride myself and not trying to limit

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<v Speaker 3>myself or cap myself with a ceiling and everything that

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like I'm skillful at I go for So.

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<v Speaker 3>I know a lot of people will try to tell

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<v Speaker 3>you got to narrow your focus and things like that,

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<v Speaker 3>but a lot of people don't have the passions I got,

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<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean, Or the drive, the determination,

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<v Speaker 3>or the bandwidth or the bandwidth with his important or

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<v Speaker 3>the brotherhood and community, you know what I mean? With that,

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like I have infinite resources, and with infinite resources,

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like you can accomplish anything you want life.

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<v Speaker 3>So yeah, I moved through life with that kind of mindset,

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<v Speaker 3>that kind of mentality, And yeah, I started podcasting just

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<v Speaker 3>to echo what Jaelan was saying, man, because I wanted

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<v Speaker 3>to create a safe space for us to voice our

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<v Speaker 3>opinions the way we felt we needed to, you know

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<v Speaker 3>what I mean, and be able to reach the audiences

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<v Speaker 3>that we wanted to and really control our narrative. I

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<v Speaker 3>think coming out of the NFL in twenty sixteen was

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<v Speaker 3>really the emergence of athletes starting to take control.

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<v Speaker 1>Of their narrative and their media.

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<v Speaker 3>And yeah, we just took that same approach and just

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<v Speaker 3>threw it into the podcast and you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>And four years later, you know, we're sitting here next

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<v Speaker 3>to you, you know what I mean, having a joint podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>So the.

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<v Speaker 3>Reception from our audience has been incredible. It's been, like

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<v Speaker 3>Jaelan would say, exceeded expectations. It's really moving to walk

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<v Speaker 3>up to different venues, different environments, meet random men that

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<v Speaker 3>you never met before here and hear them tell you, Hey,

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<v Speaker 3>what you're doing right now is really helping change my life.

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<v Speaker 3>Is helping shape and mold me and turn me into

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<v Speaker 3>a man that I didn't even think I could be

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<v Speaker 3>at twenty seven, you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm glad you brought you. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>cut you, you know, because I do want to finish

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<v Speaker 1>the introductions.

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<v Speaker 2>But Duke, I gotta get to you real quick, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna tell you a funny story about how I

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<v Speaker 2>got introduced to Duke. I'm a very vain person, as

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<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty sure we all are, cause I'll be dressed

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<v Speaker 2>every time I see y'all right, and Kadeen and I

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<v Speaker 2>have this thing where if i want to look a

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<v Speaker 2>certain way, the first thing I'm gonna do to my

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<v Speaker 2>wife is be like, yo, if I gain this amount

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<v Speaker 2>of weight or if I got skinny, what would you do?

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm sending her pictures and stuff through Instagram and

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<v Speaker 2>she'd be like, man, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Nah, yeah right.

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<v Speaker 2>So I ran up on Duke's page and I'm like, swove,

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<v Speaker 2>But He's still be moving though.

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<v Speaker 1>Like you know what I'm saying. So I say, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>what about his physique?

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<v Speaker 2>And she was like, yeah, everything, everything. And I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to say that publicly because we live in a world

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<v Speaker 2>now where if you compliment a dude like, there's so

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<v Speaker 2>much homophobia now. I can't even compliment a black man

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<v Speaker 2>with people like yo, why are you giving him a compliment?

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<v Speaker 2>But that's just not the case because us as men

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<v Speaker 2>have to learn how to compliment each other and be

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<v Speaker 2>present amongst men who are also attractive or doing well

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<v Speaker 2>in life. And I have to feel like it's a competition.

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<v Speaker 2>So I want to just tell that quick story, but

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<v Speaker 2>do undrafted Yes, out.

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<v Speaker 1>Of is it San Diego State, San Jose, San Jose.

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<v Speaker 2>State to the Denver Broncos as well, So y'all were

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<v Speaker 2>there at the same time.

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<v Speaker 1>A little bit about your charm. My name is Duke.

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<v Speaker 4>I am an entrepreneur. I am a fitness coach, a

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<v Speaker 4>men's growth coach. Most importantly, I'm a leader of men,

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<v Speaker 4>helped men elevate, help men, uh you know, overcome self

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<v Speaker 4>limited beliefs, destructive habits to just elevating life.

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<v Speaker 1>Right.

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<v Speaker 4>I really care about people like us. I see how

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<v Speaker 4>much we struggle in silence. Right, So I just try

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<v Speaker 4>to add my experience and my knowledge and any type

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<v Speaker 4>of you know, expertise to other people's lives to help

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<v Speaker 4>them just elevate, right. I think for us, and I

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<v Speaker 4>can speak for all of us, man, we felt like

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<v Speaker 4>we had tremendous value to offer to the world, and

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<v Speaker 4>just through conversations with each other, through dating, through sports,

0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:28.560
<v Speaker 4>through you know, the low owns the shop, so he

0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:30.440
<v Speaker 4>speaks to a lot of guys as well on a

0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.040
<v Speaker 4>day to day basis. So taking all that information and

0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:36.840
<v Speaker 4>really taking inventory of data that we hear from people,

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.079
<v Speaker 4>you understand, people struggle, so we can relate to a

0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:41.320
<v Speaker 4>lot of people. So it was important for us to

0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:43.800
<v Speaker 4>take all that and be able to offer something to

0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:46.480
<v Speaker 4>the world and help the world navigate any of the

0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:48.840
<v Speaker 4>complexities that they're having, right, because there's not a lot

0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:52.880
<v Speaker 4>of black men like us, you know, in this capacity

0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:57.200
<v Speaker 4>where you know, we're relatively young, but relatively like experienced,

0:11:57.559 --> 0:11:59.760
<v Speaker 4>where we can still relate to young people and older

0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:03.360
<v Speaker 4>people people and articulate it in a way that people

0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:04.240
<v Speaker 4>can digest.

0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:05.760
<v Speaker 1>Right, So that was really important to.

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:09.439
<v Speaker 4>Us, man, and just throughout the journey of starting a podcast, man,

0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:11.280
<v Speaker 4>we've been able to just touch so many people, men

0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.680
<v Speaker 4>and women, right. The most surprising thing was how many

0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:18.640
<v Speaker 4>test absolutely and absolutely and you know, every day someone's

0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:20.160
<v Speaker 4>hitting us up like, yo, how do I do this

0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:20.719
<v Speaker 4>for my men?

0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:22.240
<v Speaker 1>How do I be better for my men? Or?

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:24.680
<v Speaker 4>And I think that's the most fulfilling thing too, because

0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:29.320
<v Speaker 4>we're actually affecting relationships, all right. And when you get

0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:32.960
<v Speaker 4>to affect a relationship in a positive manner, that means

0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:36.319
<v Speaker 4>you affect the world absolutely, because now you get better relationships,

0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:37.840
<v Speaker 4>that means you get better marriages. That means you get

0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.880
<v Speaker 4>better children, children become better adults, right, And that's the

0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:42.319
<v Speaker 4>type of impact we always wanted to make.

0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad you brought that up in shout out to

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:47.400
<v Speaker 2>all three of you, gentlemen, because there's a lot of times,

0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:50.800
<v Speaker 2>especially in the podcast space, it's easy to just go

0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.440
<v Speaker 2>for the clickbait, right. And the reason why I sang

0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:56.400
<v Speaker 2>the song I sang because you guys could have easily

0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:57.520
<v Speaker 2>done the blackface thing.

0:12:57.600 --> 0:12:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Right. Let's get up here and just bash women.

0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:02.520
<v Speaker 2>We'll get a ton of engagement if we bashed women,

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.840
<v Speaker 2>because then women will argue with us, men will champion us.

0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.720
<v Speaker 1>It's easy, easy content, right, But you chose not to.

0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:11.640
<v Speaker 2>You chose to go to long route, right, which means

0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.000
<v Speaker 2>that we're going to talk about the things that we

0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:16.040
<v Speaker 2>really want to discuss. Which I also want to point

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 2>out that most people think in a barbershop, black men

0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:24.720
<v Speaker 2>are talking about ass basketball and football, that's it. But

0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:27.640
<v Speaker 2>I've been in barbershops and a lot of times there

0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:29.760
<v Speaker 2>are black men just there trying to figure out, like,

0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:32.240
<v Speaker 2>how do I become better at what I'm doing?

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:33.400
<v Speaker 1>And that's not.

0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:36.800
<v Speaker 2>Only just about professions. How do I become a better father?

0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm going through this with my wife. I think

0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.520
<v Speaker 2>I've been around you twice so far. Every time I'm

0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:44.640
<v Speaker 2>around you, three one of you, two or two of

0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:46.800
<v Speaker 2>you are talking about something that happened with your wife,

0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 2>or your fiance or your child, and you're trying to

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 2>navigate and you're asking opinions, and I'm like, these are

0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.520
<v Speaker 2>the type of relationships that young black men need to

0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:57.360
<v Speaker 2>see that are healthy, because the next generation going to

0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:58.599
<v Speaker 2>look at this and be like, well, I can be

0:13:58.760 --> 0:13:58.960
<v Speaker 2>like that.

0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:00.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't got to be like them clowns. They just

0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:02.199
<v Speaker 1>want to argue with everybody.

0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.400
<v Speaker 2>And the reason why I call them clowns is because

0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:06.760
<v Speaker 2>there's a lot of people out here who are.

0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:10.959
<v Speaker 1>I would say, extorting our culture.

0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:15.880
<v Speaker 2>You know, they know that seventy five percent of women

0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:18.360
<v Speaker 2>who well I know this for a fact, seventy five

0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:19.800
<v Speaker 2>percent of the young men and I trained over a

0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 2>thousand had no fathers in their life. So you know,

0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.640
<v Speaker 2>there's trigger points, especially with black women, and there's a

0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:28.560
<v Speaker 2>lot of clowns out here who are using those trigger

0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:29.720
<v Speaker 2>points to get engagement.

0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:32.200
<v Speaker 1>And kudos to y'all for not Do.

0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.920
<v Speaker 3>You think though, that the guys who are creating that

0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:36.880
<v Speaker 3>style of content are the men that are in.

0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.840
<v Speaker 1>Relationships because I not at all.

0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:40.600
<v Speaker 3>I don't think so, because I feel like it was

0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 3>very easy for us to go the eyes a way

0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.920
<v Speaker 3>because we're men of relationships, we're men of integrity, we're representation,

0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:49.480
<v Speaker 3>we're representations of our women at the absolute friends, you

0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:51.480
<v Speaker 3>know what I mean, they've all elevated at this point.

0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.200
<v Speaker 3>But when you when you were coming from that perspective,

0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 3>it's really hard to sit get online absolutely to the world.

0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 1>And because you're being authentic to who you are.

0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.680
<v Speaker 2>Yes, a lot of people aren't being authentic because this

0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:07.320
<v Speaker 2>is entertainment, and I think that's what people need to realize.

0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:11.160
<v Speaker 2>Podcasting is entertainment. You don't have to represent yourself authentically

0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.400
<v Speaker 2>when you come on the podcast, I can say whatever.

0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:15.640
<v Speaker 2>And that's why I keep saying, like the fact that

0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.840
<v Speaker 2>y'all chose to represent yourself authentically, put yourself out there

0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:21.200
<v Speaker 2>when you know, even if you're trying to be authentic,

0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.200
<v Speaker 2>someone's gonna have something negative to say.

0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.280
<v Speaker 1>Because that's also about the podcast.

0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:28.960
<v Speaker 2>Space, which would which leads me to monogamy right before

0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.360
<v Speaker 2>you get there, Like we've actually we actually did kind

0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:34.440
<v Speaker 2>of struggle with because it's still a business and we

0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:36.880
<v Speaker 2>still want an engagement, you know, and we still want people.

0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.400
<v Speaker 4>We want to grow. So we did have conversations of, yo,

0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:40.920
<v Speaker 4>do we need to spice it up a little bit?

0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.120
<v Speaker 4>What was what was that conversation? Like it was more

0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.080
<v Speaker 4>so are we being too nice? Are we pacifying women

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:46.520
<v Speaker 4>too much?

0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.920
<v Speaker 2>Right? Real conversations like that should we did y'all feel

0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 2>like that that you were passified?

0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:52.880
<v Speaker 1>Now? We didn't feel like that. It's just how it

0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:53.920
<v Speaker 1>was like coming off.

0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:57.160
<v Speaker 3>There wasn't enough data to show who we were, so

0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:59.320
<v Speaker 3>it may come off as that people don't know what

0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:01.560
<v Speaker 3>our past is. People don't know what our background is.

0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:05.240
<v Speaker 3>All they see is three dudes in happy relationships today,

0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:06.680
<v Speaker 3>and that's where you're speaking from.

0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:09.360
<v Speaker 2>I tell you something that's never going to change. I've

0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:11.400
<v Speaker 2>been with my wife for twenty two years. We've been

0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:14.320
<v Speaker 2>podcasting for six years season one. People's like, Oh, this

0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.320
<v Speaker 2>ain't real. He don't really live like that. It is

0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.640
<v Speaker 2>now thirteen years of marriage, four kids, and people still

0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.000
<v Speaker 2>say the same thing. I'll see you in five years.

0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.640
<v Speaker 2>Y'all said that five years ago. You know what I'm saying,

0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 2>that's never going to change. People will root for y'all

0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:31.040
<v Speaker 2>to fail because you got to also realize too, when

0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:34.560
<v Speaker 2>you feel it validates all of their failed relationship. But

0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:37.200
<v Speaker 2>when you don't fail, now, there's no excuse for them

0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:39.320
<v Speaker 2>now that like, wait a minute, there's three black men.

0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, they're married to three black women. Wait a minute,

0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:45.080
<v Speaker 2>they're all faithful. Just can't be possible, you.

0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:45.480
<v Speaker 1>Know what I'm saying.

0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:47.080
<v Speaker 2>They always going to find a way to make it

0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:49.480
<v Speaker 2>seem like y'all not real. So I wouldn't even harp

0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:51.840
<v Speaker 2>on that because I still get that backglass to this day.

0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:54.040
<v Speaker 2>That's a fact. It's always going to be like that.

0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:56.400
<v Speaker 2>So how'd you end up coming to the conclusion like,

0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:58.880
<v Speaker 2>you know what, we're not going to just spice it

0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:00.840
<v Speaker 2>up and argue for no reason. How did y'all decide

0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.640
<v Speaker 2>like this is where we're going to stay. It made

0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 2>us better.

0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:06.120
<v Speaker 3>It did make us better because not saying that we

0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:07.280
<v Speaker 3>was like, we're not going to spice it up, but

0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.160
<v Speaker 3>it was like a yo. As far as the business side,

0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.080
<v Speaker 3>we started having production meetings and we started really sitting

0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:16.399
<v Speaker 3>down saying like, AYO, how do you feel about that? Okay,

0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:18.560
<v Speaker 3>what would it look like if you took this perspective

0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:23.400
<v Speaker 3>and actually really embody this perspective on if somebody approached

0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.640
<v Speaker 3>it and they was like, yo, and don't feel monogamy,

0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.800
<v Speaker 3>it's important, How would you speak from that place?

0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:29.840
<v Speaker 1>What would that look like?

0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.800
<v Speaker 3>Because as people are listening, you know, you don't want

0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:35.600
<v Speaker 3>to just have just like one specific niche audience.

0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:39.480
<v Speaker 1>You want to be able to have everybody. Wise, that's exact.

0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.919
<v Speaker 3>Business wise, right, but also realistic like we live in

0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:44.879
<v Speaker 3>a world where monogamy may not be for everybody, but

0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:47.159
<v Speaker 3>I think the only way to get somebody's ears to

0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:50.320
<v Speaker 3>even consider your opinion is to be able to address theirs.

0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.000
<v Speaker 3>So we got to start addressing their opinion in order

0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.399
<v Speaker 3>for our message to actually get louder. I think we

0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:00.200
<v Speaker 3>landed on it ultimately, because, like you said, man, was

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.080
<v Speaker 3>just the authentic thing to do doing this podcast thing.

0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:05.080
<v Speaker 1>Man, it's very hard to do it when you're faking it,

0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:06.040
<v Speaker 1>absolutely right.

0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.600
<v Speaker 4>So no longer, you know, anytime you're doing business with

0:18:09.600 --> 0:18:12.679
<v Speaker 4>your friends, we're friends first. It's not like we just

0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:15.600
<v Speaker 4>became't business young met up on the broncos. We met,

0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:19.359
<v Speaker 4>we met playing, we met, I met through a mutual friends.

0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:21.720
<v Speaker 1>So twelve years, all of y'all have been friends. I

0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:22.680
<v Speaker 1>know you guys meant it does.

0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:27.400
<v Speaker 2>I think we may made a year thirteen ten years.

0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:30.359
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, so we we were friends first. So it

0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:33.840
<v Speaker 2>was just authentic and we all had similar beliefs, similar relationships.

0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:36.360
<v Speaker 2>So it's just like yo, like we can spice it up,

0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:39.400
<v Speaker 2>but not in this not in this standpoint of we're

0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.160
<v Speaker 2>just gonna come out here and you know, say our

0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.320
<v Speaker 2>land this stuff. Now, how we're gonna spice it up

0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.360
<v Speaker 2>is we're going to figure out different ways to articulate

0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:48.440
<v Speaker 2>our points and drive home our points while still being

0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.200
<v Speaker 2>respectful to the overall like masses.

0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:55.000
<v Speaker 3>It's fair and by generating the engagement. You double down,

0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:57.320
<v Speaker 3>you like, literally draw a line on your perspective. Yes,

0:18:57.640 --> 0:18:59.760
<v Speaker 3>like I'm I'm literally on this side today. That's what

0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:02.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm and that's what I'm doing. And that right there

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:06.120
<v Speaker 3>increased the engagement. That right there gave us the more eyeballs,

0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:07.080
<v Speaker 3>the reach that we were looking for.

0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:09.000
<v Speaker 1>Kudos to y'am, and that's that's dope.

0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:11.040
<v Speaker 2>The fact that you said production meeting because you're you know,

0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.439
<v Speaker 2>all athletes in a barber I had to learn to

0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:16.720
<v Speaker 2>have production meeting. Shout out to trouble because I'm a

0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:17.719
<v Speaker 2>winger as an athlete.

0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:17.919
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:20.920
<v Speaker 2>My wife went to school for speech, communication and performance.

0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:23.399
<v Speaker 1>They would have Q cards. I never have Q cards.

0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:23.920
<v Speaker 1>You know why.

0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:26.840
<v Speaker 2>I'll just be sitting here saying my opinion. But production

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.439
<v Speaker 2>media is matter because words matter. After you know, we

0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:32.680
<v Speaker 2>had a powerful discussion before this. But let me get

0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:34.720
<v Speaker 2>back to these facts and stacks about monogamy. You're gonna

0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:38.359
<v Speaker 2>be surprised, Okay. It says here that a majority of

0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:41.879
<v Speaker 2>Americans fifty five percent, prefer complete monogamy in their relationships,

0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:44.720
<v Speaker 2>but many adults would rather have some form of non monogamy.

0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:48.160
<v Speaker 2>February twenty third you Gov poll finds that one third

0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:51.560
<v Speaker 2>of Americans thirty four percent, describe their ideal relationship as

0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:55.679
<v Speaker 2>something other than complete monogamy. Many adults who do not

0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:59.000
<v Speaker 2>choose total monogamy desire something in between complete monogamy and

0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:02.200
<v Speaker 2>complete non monogamy, with twenty six percent of all Americans

0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:06.040
<v Speaker 2>choosing an option in the middle. I'll give you my perspective,

0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:09.760
<v Speaker 2>and I want to hear you guys perspective. I chose

0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:14.040
<v Speaker 2>monogamy not for my wife, and I think part of

0:20:14.080 --> 0:20:18.359
<v Speaker 2>the reason why we went viral was because people expected

0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:21.000
<v Speaker 2>me to say I chose to be monogamous because you

0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:23.400
<v Speaker 2>were just this perfect woman, and I chose it for you.

0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:26.719
<v Speaker 2>But that's literally not what happened. I was living my

0:20:26.760 --> 0:20:29.240
<v Speaker 2>life and there were times where I was chasing skirts.

0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:32.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, you graduate from high school, you go to college,

0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:34.720
<v Speaker 2>and I'm the guy d one university.

0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:36.960
<v Speaker 1>Everybody knows me. I'm going here and here and there.

0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:43.560
<v Speaker 2>But I watched my success in my production struggle because

0:20:43.560 --> 0:20:44.680
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't focused.

0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:45.240
<v Speaker 1>On what I needed to do.

0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:48.399
<v Speaker 2>And then I looked at my mom, I looked at

0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:50.760
<v Speaker 2>my grandmother, I looked at my father, my grandfather, and

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:53.879
<v Speaker 2>I was just like, one thing is coming my father

0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.040
<v Speaker 2>and my grandfather able to focus on being the best

0:20:56.119 --> 0:20:56.919
<v Speaker 2>versions of themselves.

0:20:56.960 --> 0:20:57.480
<v Speaker 1>Because there are.

0:20:57.440 --> 0:21:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Certain things that my mom and my grandmother take me hero,

0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:03.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to have to use discernment to find the

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:06.840
<v Speaker 2>right woman to be next to me so that when

0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing these things and making these decisions, I got

0:21:08.960 --> 0:21:13.439
<v Speaker 2>a partner. I chose monogamy and selfish just it sounds

0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:16.720
<v Speaker 2>before myself, and I want to know from you three,

0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:21.640
<v Speaker 2>why did y'all choose monogamy if y'all.

0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:26.879
<v Speaker 3>Know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I chose monogamy before my girl

0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:27.640
<v Speaker 3>even existed.

0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:31.880
<v Speaker 1>So like that is I'm a man of God.

0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:35.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm a man of faith, and my relationship with God

0:21:35.160 --> 0:21:38.720
<v Speaker 3>actually comes before any woman that is there. I can't

0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:42.080
<v Speaker 3>replace God, but whoever fits in that piece, Like I

0:21:42.119 --> 0:21:43.479
<v Speaker 3>don't know what her name was. I didn't know her

0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:46.040
<v Speaker 3>name was going to be Britney. I had no idea.

0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:48.320
<v Speaker 3>So but you knew, you knew that he was like

0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:51.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to be when it comes to the woman

0:21:51.200 --> 0:21:53.879
<v Speaker 3>that I want to marry. Absolutely Now, when I was younger,

0:21:53.920 --> 0:21:56.760
<v Speaker 3>I can't say that existed. Absolutely when it comes down

0:21:56.760 --> 0:21:58.960
<v Speaker 3>to the woman that I want to marry and be

0:21:59.080 --> 0:22:01.080
<v Speaker 3>with for the rest of my life life and the

0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:04.040
<v Speaker 3>woman that's going to be raising my children and teaching

0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:06.159
<v Speaker 3>my son how to walk and kissing my kids on

0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:10.040
<v Speaker 3>the face. Like, yes, absolutely, but to your point, it

0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:11.520
<v Speaker 3>wasn't for her, It was for you.

0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:12.760
<v Speaker 1>It's for me, you know.

0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:15.760
<v Speaker 3>And I actually have a philosophy though, like I feel

0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:17.919
<v Speaker 3>like we're all selfish. We don't really just say it

0:22:17.920 --> 0:22:22.240
<v Speaker 3>out loud fact, but like, I'm selfish, like in every way,

0:22:22.320 --> 0:22:24.639
<v Speaker 3>shape and form. If I get if I got you

0:22:24.680 --> 0:22:27.440
<v Speaker 3>a birthday gift, it's because I want you to view

0:22:27.480 --> 0:22:29.480
<v Speaker 3>me as a good friend, not just because I wanted

0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:30.280
<v Speaker 3>you to feel good.

0:22:30.480 --> 0:22:31.960
<v Speaker 1>What was I think it was friends?

0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:35.639
<v Speaker 2>They had to show about no selfless acts, and they

0:22:35.640 --> 0:22:38.800
<v Speaker 2>were like, even like if a beastings you, that's selfish

0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:41.240
<v Speaker 2>on you because then the be gos and dies. When

0:22:41.240 --> 0:22:42.679
<v Speaker 2>you say that, it reminds me of that that there

0:22:42.720 --> 0:22:46.679
<v Speaker 2>really is no selfless act in the world. Everything we do.

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.840
<v Speaker 3>That's that's really how I feel, right, But that also

0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:52.560
<v Speaker 3>helps me, it sounds crazy, it helps me be the

0:22:52.560 --> 0:22:55.959
<v Speaker 3>best person that I could possibly be because when I

0:22:56.000 --> 0:22:58.400
<v Speaker 3>show up for you too, I'm showing up for you

0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:00.879
<v Speaker 3>because I want you to view me in a certain light.

0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:03.720
<v Speaker 2>Right, So I'm gonna do my best for me to

0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:06.080
<v Speaker 2>have the best view and viewpoint in your life.

0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:06.800
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:23:07.560 --> 0:23:11.080
<v Speaker 3>If there's laundry in the hallway, I'm gonna do the

0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:14.600
<v Speaker 3>laundry for my fiance because I want her to be like, man,

0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:15.400
<v Speaker 3>I got a good dude.

0:23:15.800 --> 0:23:16.520
<v Speaker 1>I feel you he.

0:23:16.480 --> 0:23:19.120
<v Speaker 2>Took a lot off my plate by doing that. So

0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:21.160
<v Speaker 2>I'll be doing laundry because I'll be wanting to smash later.

0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:22.879
<v Speaker 1>I feel that I.

0:23:25.520 --> 0:23:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Just got to be clean and she gonna be tired,

0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:30.200
<v Speaker 2>so fuck it, I'm about to go get this ship done.

0:23:30.680 --> 0:23:30.919
<v Speaker 4>To that.

0:23:31.080 --> 0:23:32.399
<v Speaker 1>So that's to that point, right.

0:23:32.600 --> 0:23:36.720
<v Speaker 3>And I've learned so much about myself through monogamy because

0:23:37.800 --> 0:23:40.560
<v Speaker 3>you know, like being single and dating, that's totally different

0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:45.879
<v Speaker 3>than being monogamous because when it comes to how I

0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:49.359
<v Speaker 3>want my partner to feel about me, she's actually teaching me.

0:23:49.560 --> 0:23:51.679
<v Speaker 2>It sounds crazy. She's taught me how to be a

0:23:51.720 --> 0:23:54.119
<v Speaker 2>man for real, doesn't doesn't sound crazy at all, Like

0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:56.080
<v Speaker 2>she's really really taught me how to be a man,

0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:57.640
<v Speaker 2>Like we talked about it.

0:23:57.720 --> 0:23:59.560
<v Speaker 1>Why do you think that that sounds crazy?

0:23:59.640 --> 0:24:02.000
<v Speaker 3>It sounds I was crazy because I feel like people

0:24:02.040 --> 0:24:06.040
<v Speaker 3>feel like you're supposed to show up as a complete person.

0:24:06.119 --> 0:24:08.240
<v Speaker 3>And I also feel like that's the reason why the

0:24:08.359 --> 0:24:12.320
<v Speaker 3>day landscape is Yes, but I feel like people feel

0:24:12.320 --> 0:24:13.440
<v Speaker 3>like you're supposed to show.

0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:14.640
<v Speaker 1>Up as a complete person.

0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:17.199
<v Speaker 3>And she's taught me how to be a man, and

0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:20.200
<v Speaker 3>she's taught me how to continue to date her. She's

0:24:20.240 --> 0:24:21.919
<v Speaker 3>taught me how to continue to flirt with her through

0:24:21.920 --> 0:24:23.600
<v Speaker 3>today so I can smash at the end of the

0:24:23.720 --> 0:24:28.480
<v Speaker 3>day all of those things, because you feel like, you know,

0:24:28.560 --> 0:24:31.480
<v Speaker 3>you get into a relationship we being monogamous, the only

0:24:31.480 --> 0:24:32.960
<v Speaker 3>thing you gotta worry about is I'm not out here

0:24:33.040 --> 0:24:35.679
<v Speaker 3>chasing nobody else. And it's just like, nah, like the

0:24:35.720 --> 0:24:38.720
<v Speaker 3>work actually just getting started when you enter the space

0:24:38.760 --> 0:24:39.520
<v Speaker 3>of monogamy.

0:24:39.760 --> 0:24:42.280
<v Speaker 2>So what So ultimately, what you're saying is she didn't

0:24:42.280 --> 0:24:43.800
<v Speaker 2>teach you how to be a man. She taught you

0:24:43.800 --> 0:24:46.760
<v Speaker 2>how to be her man because that you had to

0:24:46.960 --> 0:24:48.000
<v Speaker 2>show up for her.

0:24:48.320 --> 0:24:49.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I like that.

0:24:49.119 --> 0:24:51.919
<v Speaker 2>Omar, did you always know you wanted to be monogamous

0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:53.720
<v Speaker 2>or did there something happen where you were like, nah,

0:24:53.720 --> 0:24:54.560
<v Speaker 2>I gotta change this.

0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:59.639
<v Speaker 1>Well, I would say similar to your situation.

0:25:00.240 --> 0:25:02.360
<v Speaker 3>And when I say similar to you, I just mean

0:25:03.119 --> 0:25:05.880
<v Speaker 3>in terms of being selfish I've kind of always been

0:25:05.920 --> 0:25:10.600
<v Speaker 3>smart enough to understand that what me being committed to

0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:12.959
<v Speaker 3>one woman will take me to greater heights in my

0:25:13.000 --> 0:25:17.240
<v Speaker 3>life in terms of being a great man of leadership, power, integrity,

0:25:17.800 --> 0:25:20.080
<v Speaker 3>even wealth. Right, I would need a woman by my

0:25:20.119 --> 0:25:22.240
<v Speaker 3>side when I've studied or when I look in the

0:25:22.359 --> 0:25:25.160
<v Speaker 3>in the history of men, great men leaders in particular,

0:25:25.320 --> 0:25:27.000
<v Speaker 3>when you look at them next to their side, there's

0:25:27.040 --> 0:25:28.960
<v Speaker 3>always a woman. You look at Martin Luther King, you

0:25:29.000 --> 0:25:33.120
<v Speaker 3>have Kretta. You look at Barack Obama, you have Michelle

0:25:33.560 --> 0:25:34.120
<v Speaker 3>You know what I mean.

0:25:34.560 --> 0:25:35.680
<v Speaker 1>Anytime people will.

0:25:35.480 --> 0:25:37.280
<v Speaker 2>Push back through and say that Martin Luther King was

0:25:37.320 --> 0:25:40.760
<v Speaker 2>a philanderer, though he wasn't necessarily like.

0:25:43.080 --> 0:25:45.080
<v Speaker 3>What I'm saying is though as a kid without even

0:25:45.160 --> 0:25:48.119
<v Speaker 3>understanding that, because that information that I'm privy to as

0:25:48.119 --> 0:25:50.800
<v Speaker 3>an adult, right, But as a kid, you don't understand that.

0:25:50.840 --> 0:25:52.720
<v Speaker 1>All you see is this is a great leader.

0:25:52.480 --> 0:25:54.639
<v Speaker 3>Of men in the image that he's being portrayed in,

0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:57.760
<v Speaker 3>and next to him is his wife. So when I

0:25:57.800 --> 0:25:59.520
<v Speaker 3>look at that from a young age, because these are

0:25:59.520 --> 0:26:01.560
<v Speaker 3>when these thought performed, it's not like these thoughts are

0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:04.360
<v Speaker 3>formed as a as an older point, like they're making

0:26:04.400 --> 0:26:06.639
<v Speaker 3>a lasting impression as a as a kid on your

0:26:06.640 --> 0:26:08.560
<v Speaker 3>subconscious mind without you, whether you know it or not.

0:26:08.840 --> 0:26:10.600
<v Speaker 3>So when I've been able to look at those those

0:26:10.640 --> 0:26:12.760
<v Speaker 3>type of men in my life or that have make

0:26:12.800 --> 0:26:15.640
<v Speaker 3>an impact in my life, I'm like, okay, I need

0:26:15.720 --> 0:26:18.200
<v Speaker 3>be a woman as well. And then also too the

0:26:18.240 --> 0:26:20.760
<v Speaker 3>moments that I have had a woman, even before I

0:26:20.840 --> 0:26:26.080
<v Speaker 3>became a fiance and a husband, Like, for some reason,

0:26:27.040 --> 0:26:29.439
<v Speaker 3>I've always noticed I've been more productive when I have

0:26:29.480 --> 0:26:29.879
<v Speaker 3>a woman.

0:26:30.320 --> 0:26:32.080
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, Oh okay.

0:26:31.880 --> 0:26:33.840
<v Speaker 3>I'm actually locked in on my job, you know what

0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:36.400
<v Speaker 3>I mean. I'm actually getting things accomplished, I'm signing deals,

0:26:36.440 --> 0:26:39.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm making more money and so and to me, that

0:26:39.240 --> 0:26:42.119
<v Speaker 3>is that is a place that I always want to

0:26:42.160 --> 0:26:42.320
<v Speaker 3>be in.

0:26:42.359 --> 0:26:44.000
<v Speaker 1>I always want to be in a fruitful place of

0:26:44.040 --> 0:26:48.280
<v Speaker 1>growth and progression.

0:26:48.400 --> 0:26:50.920
<v Speaker 3>And I believe that that could only happen by being

0:26:50.920 --> 0:26:53.520
<v Speaker 3>committed to one woman. When you're not committed to one woman,

0:26:53.640 --> 0:26:56.160
<v Speaker 3>let's just say you you live a life of polygamy, right,

0:26:56.600 --> 0:26:59.760
<v Speaker 3>I personally feel like you're a bit distracted. You may

0:26:59.800 --> 0:27:02.479
<v Speaker 3>not say people who live those lifestyles may not come

0:27:02.520 --> 0:27:04.639
<v Speaker 3>on the front on the front lines and say that, right,

0:27:04.920 --> 0:27:08.760
<v Speaker 3>because it's conducive to their lifestyle. But I personally believe

0:27:08.800 --> 0:27:11.920
<v Speaker 3>that you're spread then by whether it be emotionally, physically,

0:27:12.160 --> 0:27:14.960
<v Speaker 3>either way financially, you know what I mean.

0:27:15.000 --> 0:27:16.160
<v Speaker 1>You're spread, you know what I mean.

0:27:16.200 --> 0:27:18.239
<v Speaker 3>And to me, I feel like I can make more

0:27:18.240 --> 0:27:20.439
<v Speaker 3>of an impact in my life and those around me

0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:21.360
<v Speaker 3>by being committed and.

0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:23.159
<v Speaker 1>Being in a monogamous relationship.

0:27:23.680 --> 0:27:26.680
<v Speaker 2>Due and before we before we move on, polygamy is

0:27:26.680 --> 0:27:30.159
<v Speaker 2>illegal in America's it's not necessarily polygamy, it's monogamy or

0:27:30.240 --> 0:27:31.159
<v Speaker 2>non monogamy.

0:27:31.440 --> 0:27:33.679
<v Speaker 1>So we're just going to correct that and not say polygamy.

0:27:33.760 --> 0:27:36.240
<v Speaker 2>No one here agrees with polygamy, but we're talking about

0:27:36.240 --> 0:27:37.400
<v Speaker 2>being non monogamous.

0:27:37.880 --> 0:27:41.640
<v Speaker 1>But Duke, what happened to you? My brother? Man? What happened?

0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:45.280
<v Speaker 1>That's actually that's actually a good way to put it.

0:27:46.440 --> 0:27:48.080
<v Speaker 4>And the reason that's a good way to put it

0:27:48.119 --> 0:27:49.520
<v Speaker 4>is because I grew up in a culture where it

0:27:49.520 --> 0:27:54.000
<v Speaker 4>was very normal to not be to not be monogamous, right,

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:57.200
<v Speaker 4>So I grew up with it. My uncles, my grandpa,

0:27:57.720 --> 0:28:00.320
<v Speaker 4>you know, my father to some degree, right, So I

0:28:00.359 --> 0:28:02.600
<v Speaker 4>grew up with it. So everything pointed me in the

0:28:02.600 --> 0:28:05.480
<v Speaker 4>direction of because I'm Nigerian, right, so they have different

0:28:05.560 --> 0:28:10.760
<v Speaker 4>kind of just traditional values. You go there, you go,

0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:14.159
<v Speaker 4>so regardless of people would agree with it or not.

0:28:14.200 --> 0:28:18.640
<v Speaker 4>That's kind of like very normal. But to be honest, bro, man,

0:28:18.640 --> 0:28:22.680
<v Speaker 4>I don't trust women. I don't trust women. M hmm,

0:28:22.800 --> 0:28:25.840
<v Speaker 4>I trust my women. I don't trust women.

0:28:25.920 --> 0:28:26.480
<v Speaker 1>That's fair.

0:28:26.920 --> 0:28:29.280
<v Speaker 4>So I don't believe I could go mess with women

0:28:29.640 --> 0:28:32.119
<v Speaker 4>and everybody stay hushed us don't believe it.

0:28:32.840 --> 0:28:35.160
<v Speaker 1>That's an that's an honest ass answer. But I don't

0:28:35.160 --> 0:28:38.520
<v Speaker 1>do it right. And I'm saying it's layered, but I

0:28:38.520 --> 0:28:41.440
<v Speaker 1>could never. I could never. I'm saying.

0:28:41.520 --> 0:28:43.360
<v Speaker 4>I'm saying it's there's more to it, but I could

0:28:43.400 --> 0:28:46.640
<v Speaker 4>never put my trust in another woman to dibble and.

0:28:46.680 --> 0:28:48.240
<v Speaker 1>Dabble, hurt and everything.

0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:51.320
<v Speaker 2>Way, bro, you're absolutely right, because we don't we don't trust.

0:28:51.520 --> 0:28:54.080
<v Speaker 2>We don't trust all men. That's why we only have

0:28:54.200 --> 0:28:56.880
<v Speaker 2>specific friends. So it makes the same sense. If I

0:28:56.880 --> 0:28:58.520
<v Speaker 2>don't trust all women, why would us go out here

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:00.640
<v Speaker 2>and lay down with every woman? It actually makes sense,

0:29:00.640 --> 0:29:03.400
<v Speaker 2>but go ahead, no way, so you know, and amongst

0:29:03.400 --> 0:29:05.760
<v Speaker 2>other things, man, it's just like everything you said.

0:29:05.960 --> 0:29:07.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm going to.

0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:11.480
<v Speaker 4>Be the most successful with one woman because I don't

0:29:11.480 --> 0:29:15.680
<v Speaker 4>have that type of capacity dealing with women is hard. Yes,

0:29:16.080 --> 0:29:17.920
<v Speaker 4>it's difficult. It takes a lot to deal with a

0:29:17.960 --> 0:29:21.400
<v Speaker 4>women and cultivate a strong, healthy relationship, all right. And

0:29:21.440 --> 0:29:24.320
<v Speaker 4>there's no way I can say that I want this,

0:29:24.440 --> 0:29:27.080
<v Speaker 4>I want the best out of myself and my relationship

0:29:27.320 --> 0:29:29.040
<v Speaker 4>and still be playing around with other women.

0:29:29.480 --> 0:29:29.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:29:30.160 --> 0:29:33.800
<v Speaker 4>So for me, monogamy gives me structure, right, it gives

0:29:33.840 --> 0:29:36.840
<v Speaker 4>me a foundation of principles, and it allows me to

0:29:36.880 --> 0:29:39.400
<v Speaker 4>trust someone, right. I don't want to have to navigate

0:29:39.960 --> 0:29:44.880
<v Speaker 4>different you know, relationships or situations or whatever the case

0:29:44.920 --> 0:29:47.680
<v Speaker 4>may be, and be wondering can I trust this person?

0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:48.280
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:29:48.400 --> 0:29:50.400
<v Speaker 4>So for me, monogamy has always been I want to

0:29:50.400 --> 0:29:53.520
<v Speaker 4>say always been, but just through growing up, I realized

0:29:53.560 --> 0:29:55.360
<v Speaker 4>it was the best path for me, right.

0:29:55.680 --> 0:29:57.880
<v Speaker 1>And I'm someone I'm a giver man. I love when

0:29:57.920 --> 0:29:59.680
<v Speaker 1>I love, I love hard. I feel right.

0:30:00.120 --> 0:30:04.120
<v Speaker 4>I can't even I can't even just think about giving

0:30:04.160 --> 0:30:05.040
<v Speaker 4>that up for everybody.

0:30:06.120 --> 0:30:07.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm a nasty thing.

0:30:08.680 --> 0:30:10.840
<v Speaker 2>The things I be wanting to do I can't do

0:30:10.920 --> 0:30:13.760
<v Speaker 2>to everybody, you know what I'm saying. So for me, yeah,

0:30:13.920 --> 0:30:16.239
<v Speaker 2>it's also on the sex thing, like I do, I'm

0:30:16.280 --> 0:30:19.600
<v Speaker 2>gonna sit down and just dive into any woman I meet,

0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:22.480
<v Speaker 2>I want to have a conversation first, what was going

0:30:22.520 --> 0:30:23.960
<v Speaker 2>on with you? What's your credit score? Like?

0:30:24.000 --> 0:30:25.800
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying, Like, how often have you

0:30:25.880 --> 0:30:27.280
<v Speaker 1>been to the doctor? Well, you know what I'm saying.

0:30:27.320 --> 0:30:29.120
<v Speaker 2>These are conversations that everybody don't want to have. So

0:30:29.160 --> 0:30:31.400
<v Speaker 2>for me, monogamy was also about that.

0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:35.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and I feel like this, man, I feel like

0:30:35.920 --> 0:30:38.400
<v Speaker 4>like I feel with everything in life, you are going

0:30:38.440 --> 0:30:41.000
<v Speaker 4>to get out what you put in. And if you

0:30:41.000 --> 0:30:44.800
<v Speaker 4>give your all to one person, I trust that my

0:30:44.880 --> 0:30:47.240
<v Speaker 4>decision to pick her, I trust that she's gonna give

0:30:47.240 --> 0:30:47.880
<v Speaker 4>me everything back.

0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:49.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And that's why.

0:30:49.720 --> 0:30:51.520
<v Speaker 4>And the other thing is is too I'm not afraid

0:30:51.560 --> 0:30:55.080
<v Speaker 4>to be hurt. Oh you're hurt by a woman. I'm

0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:58.240
<v Speaker 4>not afraid, bro, I'm not afraid. I'm confident that I

0:30:58.280 --> 0:30:59.400
<v Speaker 4>could be hurt and bounce back.

0:30:59.680 --> 0:31:02.760
<v Speaker 2>So you saying I'm gonna use discernment to pick the

0:31:02.840 --> 0:31:05.640
<v Speaker 2>right woman and if I get hurt, I'm strong enough

0:31:05.640 --> 0:31:08.000
<v Speaker 2>to say I can bounce back. I'm saying that a

0:31:08.040 --> 0:31:11.160
<v Speaker 2>lot of people want monogamy but are afraid to be hurt,

0:31:11.240 --> 0:31:13.800
<v Speaker 2>so they'll stay away from it. Because when you're dealing

0:31:13.840 --> 0:31:16.000
<v Speaker 2>with someone else, there's no guarantee that this person is

0:31:16.000 --> 0:31:19.000
<v Speaker 2>gonna do you right, there's no guarantee. It's not a chance,

0:31:19.120 --> 0:31:20.040
<v Speaker 2>but it's no guarantee.

0:31:20.080 --> 0:31:21.600
<v Speaker 1>You know why. I know that you're right about that,

0:31:21.880 --> 0:31:22.800
<v Speaker 1>and I can't say you're right.

0:31:22.840 --> 0:31:25.600
<v Speaker 2>But there's a memo social media of the cat sleeping,

0:31:26.200 --> 0:31:27.920
<v Speaker 2>and there's a lot of people saying, how I sleep

0:31:27.960 --> 0:31:30.040
<v Speaker 2>at night knowing that nobody's sucking me over.

0:31:29.880 --> 0:31:32.840
<v Speaker 1>A single exactly? That literally is what you just said.

0:31:32.880 --> 0:31:35.120
<v Speaker 1>It's a fear. Yeah, it's a fear.

0:31:35.160 --> 0:31:37.720
<v Speaker 2>So you believe fear of people keeping people from monogamy

0:31:37.720 --> 0:31:38.640
<v Speaker 2>because they don't want to be hurt.

0:31:38.680 --> 0:31:40.959
<v Speaker 4>I believe that people know they can get hurt, but

0:31:40.960 --> 0:31:42.440
<v Speaker 4>they don't. They feel like if they get hurt, they

0:31:42.440 --> 0:31:45.080
<v Speaker 4>can't recover. And I'm saying that when you confident you

0:31:45.120 --> 0:31:48.320
<v Speaker 4>can recover, you're okay with taking the risk of monogamy.

0:31:48.680 --> 0:31:50.960
<v Speaker 1>I never thought about that. Did y'all ever think about that?

0:31:51.440 --> 0:31:53.600
<v Speaker 2>Like the possibility of getting hurt and no one can

0:31:53.600 --> 0:31:55.800
<v Speaker 2>I recover if I put everything into this woman.

0:31:55.600 --> 0:31:56.440
<v Speaker 1>When I was younger.

0:31:56.800 --> 0:31:58.280
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna be honest with you, and I don't want

0:31:58.280 --> 0:32:00.640
<v Speaker 3>to disrespect the men that are in mind, that were

0:32:00.720 --> 0:32:03.960
<v Speaker 3>in my life have been in my life, monogamy was

0:32:04.680 --> 0:32:07.320
<v Speaker 3>Anything outside of monogamy was never an option for me.

0:32:08.240 --> 0:32:13.080
<v Speaker 3>My dad was monogamous, My brothers are monogamous. The men,

0:32:13.200 --> 0:32:15.760
<v Speaker 3>the good men that were around me were monogamous. So

0:32:15.880 --> 0:32:18.560
<v Speaker 3>like us sitting up here isn't a shock to me.

0:32:18.640 --> 0:32:19.360
<v Speaker 1>It's not anomally.

0:32:21.080 --> 0:32:22.560
<v Speaker 3>I see a lot of people they're like, man, I'm

0:32:22.560 --> 0:32:24.280
<v Speaker 3>gonna be the first person in my lineage, in my

0:32:24.360 --> 0:32:29.480
<v Speaker 3>generation to be monogamous, and like, that's not my story.

0:32:28.480 --> 0:32:33.320
<v Speaker 3>My my parents fully expected me to be monogamous. My

0:32:33.360 --> 0:32:36.600
<v Speaker 3>brothers fully expected me to be monogamous, so anything outside

0:32:36.600 --> 0:32:40.360
<v Speaker 3>of that would be the anomaly of the family. So like,

0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:44.160
<v Speaker 3>being around even being around men that are not monogamous

0:32:44.280 --> 0:32:45.760
<v Speaker 3>is like, it's shocking to me.

0:32:45.920 --> 0:32:48.600
<v Speaker 1>And how long you've been what's your three years? Three years?

0:32:48.800 --> 0:32:50.480
<v Speaker 2>Was there ever a point in your life where you

0:32:50.560 --> 0:32:52.960
<v Speaker 2>were trying to be monogamous and felt like this ain't

0:32:52.960 --> 0:32:56.760
<v Speaker 2>for me with her, with anybody, oh yeah, before her,

0:32:57.400 --> 0:33:00.240
<v Speaker 2>before her, Like, I don't even think you should even

0:33:00.240 --> 0:33:02.600
<v Speaker 2>be considering the word monogamous for real until you talking

0:33:02.600 --> 0:33:03.360
<v Speaker 2>about getting married.

0:33:03.560 --> 0:33:08.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's fair. Dating doesn't require monogamy to be honest,

0:33:08.760 --> 0:33:10.120
<v Speaker 1>to be honest, you got to work on it.

0:33:10.240 --> 0:33:12.280
<v Speaker 3>Yes, but I wasn't in the space of wanting to

0:33:12.320 --> 0:33:16.400
<v Speaker 3>get married in space, so it's like, yeah, I'm dating,

0:33:16.760 --> 0:33:19.960
<v Speaker 3>but I'm not trying to get married. That wasn't That

0:33:20.040 --> 0:33:23.320
<v Speaker 3>wasn't a thing like, yeah, were moving around, you know

0:33:23.360 --> 0:33:25.680
<v Speaker 3>what I'm saying, And so we would have fun now

0:33:26.040 --> 0:33:29.240
<v Speaker 3>moving with intention And one thing that was very difficult

0:33:29.360 --> 0:33:32.120
<v Speaker 3>is me and my fiance. She's an incredible woman. We

0:33:32.160 --> 0:33:34.280
<v Speaker 3>did long distance for the first year of our relationship,

0:33:35.080 --> 0:33:38.360
<v Speaker 3>so I knew for that to work for me, we

0:33:38.400 --> 0:33:43.040
<v Speaker 3>had to be crazy intentional with our relationship. So when

0:33:43.040 --> 0:33:45.560
<v Speaker 3>we first got together, I vowed to her that we'll

0:33:45.600 --> 0:33:48.360
<v Speaker 3>see each other twice a month. She lived in Austin,

0:33:48.400 --> 0:33:51.480
<v Speaker 3>I lived in la We had to see each other

0:33:51.480 --> 0:33:53.560
<v Speaker 3>twice an I remember, oh, and Duke, you used to

0:33:53.600 --> 0:33:54.680
<v Speaker 3>be like, bro, where are you going?

0:33:54.800 --> 0:33:58.760
<v Speaker 1>Yep? Every time was getting on flights. You're going to

0:33:58.840 --> 0:33:59.400
<v Speaker 1>text you so much.

0:33:59.400 --> 0:34:02.960
<v Speaker 3>B I gotta go see my girl because it's it's

0:34:03.000 --> 0:34:06.760
<v Speaker 3>like if I don't or and this is just for

0:34:06.800 --> 0:34:09.439
<v Speaker 3>people who have long distance relationships. If you don't have

0:34:09.960 --> 0:34:13.080
<v Speaker 3>a schedule on when you're gonna see your partner, you're

0:34:13.160 --> 0:34:16.200
<v Speaker 3>leaving too much space for yourself to get in trouble,

0:34:16.239 --> 0:34:18.240
<v Speaker 3>for her to get in trouble. When an argument happens,

0:34:18.239 --> 0:34:19.880
<v Speaker 3>you don't know when you're gonna see her again. So

0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:21.600
<v Speaker 3>now it's just like I'm finna go out and do

0:34:21.640 --> 0:34:24.920
<v Speaker 3>this now if I know, he Yo, this week I

0:34:25.040 --> 0:34:28.240
<v Speaker 3>seen her, I'm gonna see her again in two weeks.

0:34:28.520 --> 0:34:31.200
<v Speaker 3>So anything that I do within that two weeks, that's

0:34:31.200 --> 0:34:33.400
<v Speaker 3>on me. But if it's like this week I seen her,

0:34:33.400 --> 0:34:35.560
<v Speaker 3>I don't know when I'm gonna see her again. You

0:34:35.680 --> 0:34:38.360
<v Speaker 3>got too much space to go and make mistakes.

0:34:38.360 --> 0:34:41.279
<v Speaker 2>You got too much idle time and not understand what's

0:34:41.320 --> 0:34:42.600
<v Speaker 2>going on with you. And you know what we say

0:34:42.640 --> 0:34:45.720
<v Speaker 2>about idle time. Yeah, zevil find time for idle hands.

0:34:45.719 --> 0:34:47.200
<v Speaker 2>We don't know that, and we don't know that.

0:34:47.640 --> 0:34:49.880
<v Speaker 3>So it's like I knew what the flight schedule was.

0:34:49.880 --> 0:34:51.919
<v Speaker 3>I used to send her a flight schedule every single month,

0:34:52.120 --> 0:34:55.040
<v Speaker 3>so I was I was very intentional with being monogamous.

0:34:55.040 --> 0:34:58.399
<v Speaker 3>I don't think monogamy is something that happens on accident either,

0:34:58.960 --> 0:35:01.400
<v Speaker 3>Like I'm I'm not that good of a person bro.

0:35:03.320 --> 0:35:06.319
<v Speaker 1>To say I'm just monogamous because I'm in.

0:35:06.280 --> 0:35:08.680
<v Speaker 3>A relationship, right, Like, no, I have to, like I

0:35:08.719 --> 0:35:10.760
<v Speaker 3>told you, I'm selfish. I have to be like, Okay,

0:35:10.960 --> 0:35:13.160
<v Speaker 3>how is this gonna benefit Julyn? How is this gonna

0:35:13.160 --> 0:35:15.719
<v Speaker 3>benefit Jelyn? What does that look like for Jilan? And

0:35:15.760 --> 0:35:17.560
<v Speaker 3>then I have to put all those together and I

0:35:17.560 --> 0:35:19.160
<v Speaker 3>have to put it into action, and I have to

0:35:19.200 --> 0:35:22.000
<v Speaker 3>stay disciplined on the things that I said I'm gonna

0:35:22.000 --> 0:35:24.960
<v Speaker 3>put into action. Like me, if something look like I'm

0:35:24.960 --> 0:35:27.319
<v Speaker 3>gonna not be monogamous, yeah, I'm not gonna resist. I'm

0:35:27.320 --> 0:35:28.960
<v Speaker 3>just gonna flee, like I get out of there, bro,

0:35:29.239 --> 0:35:30.040
<v Speaker 3>I'll be So you.

0:35:30.080 --> 0:35:32.120
<v Speaker 2>Never played that game like I'm gonna just I'm playing

0:35:32.120 --> 0:35:33.040
<v Speaker 2>with shorty now we.

0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:35.200
<v Speaker 3>Be We talk about it all the time. I'm I'm

0:35:35.360 --> 0:35:37.560
<v Speaker 3>I don't you never Jean, Oh No, I don't trust

0:35:37.600 --> 0:35:38.080
<v Speaker 3>me enough.

0:35:38.440 --> 0:35:40.480
<v Speaker 2>You never played with any chicks before you decided you

0:35:40.520 --> 0:35:42.200
<v Speaker 2>was gonna get engaged, like I'm gonna just play around

0:35:42.200 --> 0:35:44.000
<v Speaker 2>because I don't really want to be monogamous with my

0:35:44.040 --> 0:35:44.560
<v Speaker 2>fiance now.

0:35:44.640 --> 0:35:45.080
<v Speaker 1>No no, no, I.

0:35:45.080 --> 0:35:48.080
<v Speaker 2>Said like before your like before when you were dating,

0:35:48.080 --> 0:35:51.520
<v Speaker 2>because remember when hundred percent okay, because when Duke said

0:35:52.000 --> 0:35:54.279
<v Speaker 2>dating should be about monogamy, you was just like, I

0:35:54.320 --> 0:35:57.560
<v Speaker 2>don't think it necessarily that's a great conversation because when

0:35:57.600 --> 0:36:00.759
<v Speaker 2>women date, women are dating with the expertation and I

0:36:00.760 --> 0:36:03.279
<v Speaker 2>can't old women that we're going to be monogamous. But

0:36:03.320 --> 0:36:06.080
<v Speaker 2>I've also learned that men are not always dating with

0:36:06.120 --> 0:36:07.600
<v Speaker 2>that because I don't date men, so I don't know

0:36:07.600 --> 0:36:09.560
<v Speaker 2>how men thought process be, you know, when dating.

0:36:09.600 --> 0:36:13.040
<v Speaker 3>But I'm gonna be honest though, like in the space

0:36:13.200 --> 0:36:16.640
<v Speaker 3>of dating, like if we're not moving in that way,

0:36:16.840 --> 0:36:19.839
<v Speaker 3>you know that there's there's now am I coming back

0:36:19.840 --> 0:36:21.840
<v Speaker 3>and I'm going to tell you everything that's happening along

0:36:21.880 --> 0:36:24.160
<v Speaker 3>the way. No, because I don't think you earn that

0:36:24.239 --> 0:36:27.080
<v Speaker 3>space either, So I'm not gonna sit here and I'm

0:36:27.080 --> 0:36:30.040
<v Speaker 3>not gonna lie to you. Matter of fact, if we're

0:36:30.160 --> 0:36:32.880
<v Speaker 3>just dating and you see me out, you got to

0:36:32.920 --> 0:36:36.080
<v Speaker 3>respect that too, because we're just dating, and that's a

0:36:36.120 --> 0:36:39.040
<v Speaker 3>conversation you have and beginning to dating. But there's also

0:36:39.239 --> 0:36:42.600
<v Speaker 3>there's also level. There's never you don't have a conversation,

0:36:42.680 --> 0:36:46.040
<v Speaker 3>but there's levels to dating. Right when you first started dating,

0:36:46.040 --> 0:36:47.560
<v Speaker 3>somewhere you're casually dating them.

0:36:47.800 --> 0:36:49.720
<v Speaker 2>And I'm be honest, I'm asking these questions because remember

0:36:49.760 --> 0:36:51.680
<v Speaker 2>I met my wife when I was eighteen. I've never

0:36:51.800 --> 0:36:54.759
<v Speaker 2>dated as a grown adult.

0:36:54.840 --> 0:36:56.279
<v Speaker 3>Let me tell you, bro, So let me tell you

0:36:56.280 --> 0:36:58.840
<v Speaker 3>when you first started dating a woman, it's casual, you

0:36:58.880 --> 0:36:59.319
<v Speaker 3>know what I mean.

0:36:59.760 --> 0:37:02.040
<v Speaker 1>It's it's very light, it's over the surface.

0:37:02.400 --> 0:37:04.640
<v Speaker 3>And casual also means that I could be courting another

0:37:04.680 --> 0:37:07.560
<v Speaker 3>woman at the same time. Right in order for for

0:37:07.640 --> 0:37:09.480
<v Speaker 3>the woman to take it to the level of yo,

0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:10.520
<v Speaker 3>this situation has.

0:37:10.520 --> 0:37:11.640
<v Speaker 1>Now become monogamous.

0:37:11.880 --> 0:37:14.120
<v Speaker 3>We had to have the conversation of yo, you and

0:37:14.160 --> 0:37:16.319
<v Speaker 3>I are now exclusively dating each other.

0:37:16.680 --> 0:37:18.600
<v Speaker 1>Once we're exclusively dating one.

0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:22.800
<v Speaker 3>Another, now now we're now monogamy is introduced into the fold.

0:37:22.960 --> 0:37:25.799
<v Speaker 3>Right until then, we can't even have that conversation because

0:37:25.840 --> 0:37:26.480
<v Speaker 3>it's not fair.

0:37:26.920 --> 0:37:30.319
<v Speaker 1>And and even if you're not, I'm under the assumption that.

0:37:30.320 --> 0:37:33.279
<v Speaker 3>You're you're you're dating other people too, because we haven't

0:37:33.280 --> 0:37:35.480
<v Speaker 3>had the conversation that said, hey, we're both locked into

0:37:35.520 --> 0:37:36.959
<v Speaker 3>one another, let's take the next step.

0:37:37.040 --> 0:37:39.040
<v Speaker 1>So does that conversation come before sex?

0:37:39.640 --> 0:37:42.719
<v Speaker 3>I under that probably not, probably not, And a lot

0:37:42.719 --> 0:37:45.880
<v Speaker 3>of my situations, know a lot, I'll be honest with it.

0:37:45.920 --> 0:37:47.240
<v Speaker 1>But but but, but if you're.

0:37:47.080 --> 0:37:50.000
<v Speaker 3>Trying to be proper about your situation, if you game tight,

0:37:50.080 --> 0:37:51.920
<v Speaker 3>like if you someone who's young and you listen to

0:37:51.920 --> 0:37:53.560
<v Speaker 3>this conversation, then yeah.

0:37:53.440 --> 0:37:54.720
<v Speaker 1>You will. You would approach that conversation.

0:37:54.719 --> 0:37:57.920
<v Speaker 3>You would prost the situation differently and have the conversation beforehand,

0:37:58.080 --> 0:38:00.319
<v Speaker 3>because for one, it's way more player. You give her

0:38:00.360 --> 0:38:03.319
<v Speaker 3>the option to make a choice, right, Which is that's

0:38:03.320 --> 0:38:06.120
<v Speaker 3>all you That's that's like in terms of being a man, like,

0:38:06.680 --> 0:38:09.719
<v Speaker 3>we gotta be fair and we be like we could

0:38:09.760 --> 0:38:10.960
<v Speaker 3>be fair by giving women.

0:38:11.080 --> 0:38:13.120
<v Speaker 2>Choicest me, let me cut you off just to ask

0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:15.479
<v Speaker 2>a question, because this is actually fascinating to me because

0:38:15.480 --> 0:38:18.680
<v Speaker 2>I've never dated in my twenties and I got four boys,

0:38:18.920 --> 0:38:20.879
<v Speaker 2>so I know they're gonna come to me because they're

0:38:20.880 --> 0:38:22.840
<v Speaker 2>not all going to meet their girl at eighteen. No,

0:38:23.000 --> 0:38:24.799
<v Speaker 2>I can't say, like, you know, go to college, first

0:38:24.880 --> 0:38:26.520
<v Speaker 2>year of college, meet your mother. You know what I'm saying,

0:38:26.560 --> 0:38:29.719
<v Speaker 2>Like you can't. So for me, it's interesting because you

0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:31.799
<v Speaker 2>said it's way more player. And this is what I

0:38:31.840 --> 0:38:33.880
<v Speaker 2>believe because and this is just me being maybe I

0:38:33.920 --> 0:38:35.040
<v Speaker 2>live in a utopia.

0:38:35.120 --> 0:38:35.799
<v Speaker 1>I believe that.

0:38:35.760 --> 0:38:37.680
<v Speaker 2>When you meet a young lady, if you don't want

0:38:37.680 --> 0:38:41.320
<v Speaker 2>to be monogamous, it's like yo, we dating, we smashing

0:38:41.520 --> 0:38:44.040
<v Speaker 2>or were trying to be And when I say that

0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:47.319
<v Speaker 2>women be like, I would love if a man said that,

0:38:47.440 --> 0:38:49.120
<v Speaker 2>But then when I hear dudes say that, they be like,

0:38:49.160 --> 0:38:50.799
<v Speaker 2>you can't say that to no woman.

0:38:50.600 --> 0:38:53.000
<v Speaker 3>Because he's never said it before. The only man who

0:38:53.000 --> 0:38:54.719
<v Speaker 3>are saying that are the men who haven't said it.

0:38:54.719 --> 0:38:56.319
<v Speaker 3>They don't have the courage to say it. They think

0:38:56.360 --> 0:38:58.239
<v Speaker 3>if I say it, I'm gonna lose this woman. Listen,

0:38:58.480 --> 0:39:00.080
<v Speaker 3>you got if you're gonna be living a lifestyle, you

0:39:00.120 --> 0:39:03.160
<v Speaker 3>got to operate with that risk. Hey, I can say

0:39:03.160 --> 0:39:05.439
<v Speaker 3>this and she could possibly walk away. That's the game

0:39:05.440 --> 0:39:06.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm playing. That's the way more players.

0:39:08.080 --> 0:39:09.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna say this as well.

0:39:09.160 --> 0:39:14.719
<v Speaker 4>Right, because we all lived a unique experience, absolutely, right,

0:39:14.840 --> 0:39:17.600
<v Speaker 4>So our confidence was a little different, Our access was

0:39:17.600 --> 0:39:21.800
<v Speaker 4>a little different, especially living especially living in LA. All guys,

0:39:22.200 --> 0:39:26.360
<v Speaker 4>most guys don't have the same access or environment that

0:39:26.440 --> 0:39:27.600
<v Speaker 4>we have, right, So.

0:39:27.560 --> 0:39:29.800
<v Speaker 2>Explain that to them so they understand because you definitely,

0:39:30.000 --> 0:39:31.480
<v Speaker 2>we definitely live unique experience.

0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:35.040
<v Speaker 4>Explain so because we played in the NFL, we knew

0:39:35.080 --> 0:39:39.480
<v Speaker 4>we were an anomaly. So it wasn't NFL because we

0:39:39.600 --> 0:39:42.680
<v Speaker 4>left because we're in this space, right, this industry, whatever

0:39:42.680 --> 0:39:44.480
<v Speaker 4>the case may be, right, whether you're in the NFL,

0:39:44.760 --> 0:39:47.759
<v Speaker 4>if you're in an industry and you could touch these people. Right,

0:39:47.840 --> 0:39:49.759
<v Speaker 4>especially living in LA we see celebrities all the time,

0:39:50.280 --> 0:39:53.640
<v Speaker 4>so like we're all like, we could live without you.

0:39:54.239 --> 0:39:54.520
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:39:54.680 --> 0:39:58.400
<v Speaker 4>There's a plethora of women around this place, beautiful women

0:39:58.520 --> 0:40:00.560
<v Speaker 4>around this place. So if you I want to fuck

0:40:00.560 --> 0:40:03.879
<v Speaker 4>with me, somebody else will. I'm handsome enough, I'm intelligent enough,

0:40:04.840 --> 0:40:07.120
<v Speaker 4>going on, right, people know me, people know me. I

0:40:07.160 --> 0:40:10.439
<v Speaker 4>got respect in my city. It doesn't matter, right, every man,

0:40:10.600 --> 0:40:13.680
<v Speaker 4>most men don't have that same type of luxury. That's

0:40:13.760 --> 0:40:17.640
<v Speaker 4>one okay, that's less than one in the NFL, but

0:40:17.719 --> 0:40:19.960
<v Speaker 4>just even just even something to give them that type

0:40:20.000 --> 0:40:20.560
<v Speaker 4>of confidence.

0:40:20.760 --> 0:40:21.160
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:40:21.480 --> 0:40:25.440
<v Speaker 4>So the other thing is this, we can speak now

0:40:25.520 --> 0:40:29.800
<v Speaker 4>right now because thirty five, we're super articulate, absolutely, so

0:40:30.960 --> 0:40:34.080
<v Speaker 4>we know what our young person, our young self just

0:40:34.120 --> 0:40:37.560
<v Speaker 4>say to navigate that situation. But eighteen year old you

0:40:38.000 --> 0:40:40.960
<v Speaker 4>may not have that experience with women to navigate her feelings, right,

0:40:41.000 --> 0:40:42.879
<v Speaker 4>You may not know how to communicate. Yo, I'm dealing

0:40:42.880 --> 0:40:45.879
<v Speaker 4>with another chick on the side, just so you know, right,

0:40:45.920 --> 0:40:47.239
<v Speaker 4>so you will just try to keep it in your

0:40:47.320 --> 0:40:50.600
<v Speaker 4>pocket and just try to assume. Now, going back to

0:40:50.680 --> 0:40:53.440
<v Speaker 4>the point of us having that confidence, we were also

0:40:53.440 --> 0:40:55.880
<v Speaker 4>confident enough to know that, yo, I'm dealing with a

0:40:55.920 --> 0:40:56.480
<v Speaker 4>bad one.

0:40:56.760 --> 0:40:58.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm sure she's talking to other other people.

0:40:58.920 --> 0:41:01.839
<v Speaker 4>Rue, So we never so even if I saw you

0:41:01.880 --> 0:41:05.080
<v Speaker 4>doing your thing, I was good. So what happens is

0:41:05.120 --> 0:41:07.520
<v Speaker 4>a lot of guys they'll be like, yo, I want

0:41:07.560 --> 0:41:08.960
<v Speaker 4>to mess with other girls, but I don't want you

0:41:09.000 --> 0:41:11.239
<v Speaker 4>messing with no other guys. Yeah, all right, and that's

0:41:11.280 --> 0:41:14.120
<v Speaker 4>a problem. So for us, it was just like, hey, listen,

0:41:14.160 --> 0:41:16.759
<v Speaker 4>the girls I'm dealing with. It's already assumed that I

0:41:16.800 --> 0:41:19.080
<v Speaker 4>know guys talking to you. Yeah, so no, you know

0:41:19.160 --> 0:41:21.960
<v Speaker 4>women are talking to me, right, So monogamy isn't even

0:41:21.960 --> 0:41:26.000
<v Speaker 4>a conversation you had. And is it before sex though?

0:41:26.200 --> 0:41:28.480
<v Speaker 1>No, no, I'm telling you when you're young, it's not

0:41:28.880 --> 0:41:30.880
<v Speaker 1>none of that. None of that is happening. It's just

0:41:30.920 --> 0:41:31.319
<v Speaker 1>as soon.

0:41:31.480 --> 0:41:35.880
<v Speaker 4>And then also at least nah, since I since I

0:41:35.920 --> 0:41:37.880
<v Speaker 4>was in college to you know, the last couple of

0:41:37.920 --> 0:41:40.600
<v Speaker 4>years in the NFL, like all this interaction was out

0:41:40.600 --> 0:41:44.200
<v Speaker 4>in the public, were in the hottest places, so there

0:41:44.239 --> 0:41:45.600
<v Speaker 4>was no hiding this interaction.

0:41:45.680 --> 0:41:47.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I see what you're saying. You knew when I

0:41:47.440 --> 0:41:49.360
<v Speaker 1>was hiding at a girl, you found out.

0:41:49.239 --> 0:41:52.440
<v Speaker 2>You knew social media that people take pictures video like

0:41:52.440 --> 0:41:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean, not even find out you see who I am?

0:41:55.680 --> 0:41:59.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you see the way I'm moving so and saying

0:41:59.080 --> 0:42:01.439
<v Speaker 4>that like it. I didn't have to explain this matter

0:42:01.440 --> 0:42:03.440
<v Speaker 4>of fact. I know that you saw me. You saw me,

0:42:03.520 --> 0:42:05.000
<v Speaker 4>and I kept it tom and you didn't say nothing

0:42:05.040 --> 0:42:07.640
<v Speaker 4>to me because you're like, I'm playing my part and

0:42:07.680 --> 0:42:10.120
<v Speaker 4>that was just the order of things. And women will say, yo,

0:42:10.200 --> 0:42:11.520
<v Speaker 4>I want you to tell me. I want you to

0:42:11.520 --> 0:42:16.800
<v Speaker 4>tell me. Sometimes sometimes that's the space you got to

0:42:16.840 --> 0:42:17.560
<v Speaker 4>create too.

0:42:17.680 --> 0:42:22.400
<v Speaker 3>Like, for example, if you are kicking it with a

0:42:22.400 --> 0:42:24.440
<v Speaker 3>woman and you know you're not being serious, you haven't

0:42:24.480 --> 0:42:27.080
<v Speaker 3>open enough conversation with her where she's telling you about

0:42:27.120 --> 0:42:30.560
<v Speaker 3>her experiences, you're telling her about your experiences, and you

0:42:30.600 --> 0:42:34.080
<v Speaker 3>guys both have an idea exactly who each other is.

0:42:34.360 --> 0:42:36.040
<v Speaker 3>It's not like, Yo, I really want you to be

0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:38.680
<v Speaker 3>my girl, and you're trying to You're trying to collherseer

0:42:38.800 --> 0:42:42.359
<v Speaker 3>into doing things. That's not how, that's not how, that's

0:42:42.360 --> 0:42:45.360
<v Speaker 3>not how moving player looks. It's like, Yo, you have

0:42:45.480 --> 0:42:47.600
<v Speaker 3>the option to come and mess with me if you

0:42:47.600 --> 0:42:51.319
<v Speaker 3>want to, so let me good. Yes, I'm good. In

0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:54.200
<v Speaker 3>your son's case. All right, they're growing up in a

0:42:54.200 --> 0:42:59.360
<v Speaker 3>different era. Yeah, all right, people today more solations than

0:42:59.400 --> 0:43:01.800
<v Speaker 3>everyone absolutely, So you got it. You're gonna have to

0:43:01.840 --> 0:43:05.239
<v Speaker 3>communicate early on just to protect yourself, right, so you're

0:43:05.239 --> 0:43:06.719
<v Speaker 3>not gonna have the same type of luxury that we

0:43:06.800 --> 0:43:10.200
<v Speaker 3>had to not know, you're gonna need early on. A Yo, listen,

0:43:10.320 --> 0:43:12.880
<v Speaker 3>what's the situation, and here's what I'm doing, here's how

0:43:12.880 --> 0:43:15.319
<v Speaker 3>I'm moving. I'm expecting you to be honest because people

0:43:15.320 --> 0:43:18.160
<v Speaker 3>are getting more intelligent, people are becoming more articulate, outspoken.

0:43:18.400 --> 0:43:20.600
<v Speaker 3>You got access to different types of social media, so

0:43:20.719 --> 0:43:22.920
<v Speaker 3>it's going to be different than when we were coming up. Right,

0:43:23.000 --> 0:43:26.320
<v Speaker 3>So by the time he's eighteen, don't let him play football.

0:43:27.000 --> 0:43:30.520
<v Speaker 3>If he's playing football too, Yeah, he's gonna things are

0:43:30.520 --> 0:43:31.880
<v Speaker 3>going to be a little different. So he's going to

0:43:31.960 --> 0:43:34.120
<v Speaker 3>have to have those conversations. So this is actually interesting.

0:43:34.160 --> 0:43:37.280
<v Speaker 3>This is actually pivoting me because now.

0:43:37.120 --> 0:43:39.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm realizing how like naive I am to the dating

0:43:39.520 --> 0:43:41.440
<v Speaker 2>process because I didn't go through the dating process in

0:43:41.480 --> 0:43:45.880
<v Speaker 2>my twenties. We're speaking about monogamy. How much do you

0:43:45.960 --> 0:43:48.880
<v Speaker 2>expect monogamy from a woman? And I asked this question

0:43:48.920 --> 0:43:53.040
<v Speaker 2>because one of my partners who's he's not an athlete,

0:43:53.320 --> 0:43:55.440
<v Speaker 2>but he's in the entertainment industry, make good money.

0:43:55.480 --> 0:43:56.480
<v Speaker 1>Everybody knows him.

0:43:57.000 --> 0:44:00.920
<v Speaker 2>He started dating this young lady, she went out with someone.

0:44:00.640 --> 0:44:03.319
<v Speaker 1>Else who's on social media, and he lost it.

0:44:03.840 --> 0:44:05.600
<v Speaker 2>He said to me, like, Yo, this is messed up,

0:44:05.640 --> 0:44:07.719
<v Speaker 2>Like she should have told me da da da da da.

0:44:07.760 --> 0:44:10.439
<v Speaker 2>And I was just like, well, you're dating other people though, dude.

0:44:10.640 --> 0:44:13.239
<v Speaker 2>He was just like, yeah, but it's different because if

0:44:13.280 --> 0:44:16.319
<v Speaker 2>she expects a man of my caliber to choose her,

0:44:17.080 --> 0:44:20.480
<v Speaker 2>then she should move a certain way. How hard is

0:44:20.520 --> 0:44:23.920
<v Speaker 2>it to be in the NFL on your own business,

0:44:24.800 --> 0:44:29.680
<v Speaker 2>mid twenties, young attractive black man, You got options? How

0:44:29.719 --> 0:44:31.720
<v Speaker 2>hard is it to settle down and say, I trust

0:44:31.760 --> 0:44:33.480
<v Speaker 2>this woman who knows all of these.

0:44:33.360 --> 0:44:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Things about me?

0:44:34.320 --> 0:44:36.440
<v Speaker 2>Because that's an issue I get from a lot of

0:44:36.520 --> 0:44:39.160
<v Speaker 2>young men that I mentor who are in the NCAA

0:44:39.280 --> 0:44:42.239
<v Speaker 2>football basketball they're going to project it to be high

0:44:42.360 --> 0:44:45.439
<v Speaker 2>draft picks, or they're in the entertainment industry, they're on shows.

0:44:45.440 --> 0:44:47.279
<v Speaker 2>And they always asked me, yo, you met your girl

0:44:47.320 --> 0:44:49.239
<v Speaker 2>when I was eighteen. You lucky because you ain't have

0:44:49.320 --> 0:44:51.839
<v Speaker 2>nothing then, so you didn't have to worry about her

0:44:51.920 --> 0:44:56.280
<v Speaker 2>taking stuff said, what do I tell my sons about

0:44:56.320 --> 0:44:58.319
<v Speaker 2>because they're going to grow up in the spotlight that

0:44:58.320 --> 0:44:59.919
<v Speaker 2>they're going to grow up, They're going to have things

0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:02.040
<v Speaker 2>and people want to know who they are. How do

0:45:02.120 --> 0:45:04.919
<v Speaker 2>I tell them how to weed out those women who

0:45:04.920 --> 0:45:06.960
<v Speaker 2>are going to know because y'all have been through that.

0:45:07.000 --> 0:45:09.120
<v Speaker 2>I've never been through that. I've been with Case. I

0:45:09.160 --> 0:45:12.040
<v Speaker 2>was eighteen and you met you you're thirty five. So

0:45:12.120 --> 0:45:14.560
<v Speaker 2>you met your wife when you were thirty two? Right

0:45:14.680 --> 0:45:15.520
<v Speaker 2>when did you meet your wife?

0:45:15.520 --> 0:45:16.160
<v Speaker 1>On mom? Who?

0:45:16.200 --> 0:45:18.920
<v Speaker 3>I was twenty seven, twenty eight, so you had already

0:45:18.920 --> 0:45:19.640
<v Speaker 3>been in the league.

0:45:19.719 --> 0:45:21.640
<v Speaker 1>And I was. I was out.

0:45:22.080 --> 0:45:27.400
<v Speaker 3>So, like I would say, like being young, black successful

0:45:27.480 --> 0:45:28.920
<v Speaker 3>making money, it's really hard.

0:45:29.000 --> 0:45:29.520
<v Speaker 1>It's hard.

0:45:29.520 --> 0:45:32.399
<v Speaker 3>It's hard, bro, especially because we don't grow up with

0:45:32.520 --> 0:45:35.440
<v Speaker 3>like an abundance of a good examples, you know what

0:45:35.480 --> 0:45:38.319
<v Speaker 3>I mean? Like we're more times than than not, we

0:45:38.400 --> 0:45:41.520
<v Speaker 3>have terrible examples that are leading us down a path

0:45:41.640 --> 0:45:45.520
<v Speaker 3>of destruction, whether it be in music, television, or music.

0:45:46.320 --> 0:45:48.120
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to cut you off, but to that

0:45:48.239 --> 0:45:54.000
<v Speaker 3>point you asking about your son specifically right now, society

0:45:54.080 --> 0:45:56.960
<v Speaker 3>can't be their perception of reality. Their reality has to

0:45:57.000 --> 0:46:00.080
<v Speaker 3>be what they can understand. So you guys, you and

0:46:00.120 --> 0:46:05.719
<v Speaker 3>Kadeen are sitting an incredible example. So I used to

0:46:05.800 --> 0:46:07.640
<v Speaker 3>think my mom was nuts when she'd was like, You're

0:46:07.640 --> 0:46:08.600
<v Speaker 3>gonna mary somebody.

0:46:08.360 --> 0:46:09.880
<v Speaker 1>Just like me? And I'm like, no, I'm not. I

0:46:09.920 --> 0:46:12.799
<v Speaker 1>know I'm married d and I'm.

0:46:12.000 --> 0:46:15.759
<v Speaker 2>Gonna marry somebody that's just like my mom, and you

0:46:15.800 --> 0:46:18.719
<v Speaker 2>could only it's just like, it's just like, how did you.

0:46:18.680 --> 0:46:19.279
<v Speaker 1>Find her though?

0:46:19.360 --> 0:46:21.400
<v Speaker 2>In this this world where it is a lot of

0:46:21.440 --> 0:46:24.480
<v Speaker 2>salacious people out there and people be looking to come up.

0:46:24.520 --> 0:46:27.319
<v Speaker 1>When I've seen her, I knew. And here's why.

0:46:27.320 --> 0:46:28.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't mean to cut you off though, but like

0:46:28.880 --> 0:46:31.200
<v Speaker 3>when you older, you have better discernment, you know what

0:46:31.239 --> 0:46:33.840
<v Speaker 3>I mean. You see the world from a different perspective,

0:46:33.880 --> 0:46:36.719
<v Speaker 3>You have different experiences. So if I was you, I

0:46:36.719 --> 0:46:39.200
<v Speaker 3>would encourage my sons, if I was in your situation,

0:46:39.360 --> 0:46:42.480
<v Speaker 3>to wait, to wait, like now have fun, right, and

0:46:42.480 --> 0:46:45.239
<v Speaker 3>you teach them how to have fun safely. Of course,

0:46:45.360 --> 0:46:46.680
<v Speaker 3>I know you, I know you do, you know what

0:46:46.719 --> 0:46:49.200
<v Speaker 3>I mean. But that's the thirteen we started having them conversations.

0:46:49.200 --> 0:46:51.239
<v Speaker 3>And that's important, And that's important because that's the first

0:46:51.239 --> 0:46:54.399
<v Speaker 3>step because one mistake could ruin this whole whole game plan.

0:46:55.040 --> 0:46:57.120
<v Speaker 3>But if they can stay on the right path in

0:46:57.120 --> 0:46:59.800
<v Speaker 3>that regard right, they'll gain more discernment as a a

0:47:00.160 --> 0:47:01.719
<v Speaker 3>and it'll be a lot easier for them to choose

0:47:01.719 --> 0:47:04.320
<v Speaker 3>the woman that's right for them, and it'll actually speak

0:47:04.320 --> 0:47:06.360
<v Speaker 3>to their spirit. They'll be a lot more aware of

0:47:06.400 --> 0:47:09.279
<v Speaker 3>their spirit. When you're young, you can't hear you knew

0:47:09.280 --> 0:47:11.560
<v Speaker 3>when you see your wife? Did I know when I

0:47:11.560 --> 0:47:13.279
<v Speaker 3>seen my all? You said you knew when you've seen her?

0:47:13.560 --> 0:47:14.880
<v Speaker 1>I knew. I knew when I seen her.

0:47:14.920 --> 0:47:17.400
<v Speaker 3>I met her five years before we got together, and

0:47:17.440 --> 0:47:19.000
<v Speaker 3>I was like, as soon as she gave me a chance,

0:47:19.040 --> 0:47:20.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm taking every problem that come with her.

0:47:24.480 --> 0:47:26.880
<v Speaker 1>So you did you know what I didn't know? Here,

0:47:27.000 --> 0:47:27.879
<v Speaker 1>I'll tell you when I knew.

0:47:27.920 --> 0:47:30.120
<v Speaker 3>I told you I met Candice when I was I

0:47:30.160 --> 0:47:34.279
<v Speaker 3>had just won a super Bowl, right, but shiit six

0:47:34.320 --> 0:47:37.680
<v Speaker 3>months later I got released, Okay, so I lose my job.

0:47:38.120 --> 0:47:40.960
<v Speaker 3>This is probably as as an athlete. I've never been

0:47:40.960 --> 0:47:43.719
<v Speaker 3>cut from anything. This is my first time experiencing this.

0:47:46.920 --> 0:47:49.919
<v Speaker 3>But see as the earlier you experienced it, the better

0:47:50.280 --> 0:47:52.480
<v Speaker 3>you are to rebound from it. Absolutely, it happened so

0:47:52.560 --> 0:47:54.080
<v Speaker 3>later in my life that it was hard for me

0:47:54.160 --> 0:47:55.440
<v Speaker 3>to rebound like it was.

0:47:55.560 --> 0:47:57.080
<v Speaker 1>I just struggled with it, you know what I mean.

0:47:57.160 --> 0:47:59.400
<v Speaker 3>And she ended up showing up for me in a

0:47:59.440 --> 0:48:03.000
<v Speaker 3>time where man, I wasn't really showing up for myself.

0:48:03.600 --> 0:48:05.759
<v Speaker 3>And so in that moment, even though we didn't lock

0:48:05.800 --> 0:48:07.839
<v Speaker 3>it in in that very moment, because I was still

0:48:07.840 --> 0:48:09.480
<v Speaker 3>on the journey, you know what I mean, I was,

0:48:09.520 --> 0:48:10.440
<v Speaker 3>I was moving around.

0:48:10.520 --> 0:48:12.760
<v Speaker 1>I knew, I knew she was the one.

0:48:12.920 --> 0:48:14.799
<v Speaker 3>I was like, yo, if I get back from this,

0:48:15.000 --> 0:48:17.920
<v Speaker 3>because I was leaving LA moving to New York, and

0:48:18.120 --> 0:48:19.640
<v Speaker 3>I knew I was gonna eventually make my way back

0:48:19.680 --> 0:48:21.920
<v Speaker 3>to Los Angeles, And I told myself, Yo, if I

0:48:21.960 --> 0:48:24.120
<v Speaker 3>make my way back and she's still available, there's no

0:48:24.200 --> 0:48:26.759
<v Speaker 3>way I'm going on at that full fledged you know

0:48:26.800 --> 0:48:29.200
<v Speaker 3>what I mean. And we've been literally locked in ever since.

0:48:29.440 --> 0:48:32.160
<v Speaker 3>So it was a moment in my life that made

0:48:32.200 --> 0:48:34.759
<v Speaker 3>me realize this is the one.

0:48:36.600 --> 0:48:39.480
<v Speaker 4>Happened gradually. There was no like moment. How long did

0:48:39.560 --> 0:48:41.640
<v Speaker 4>y'all date before we dated?

0:48:41.680 --> 0:48:41.759
<v Speaker 2>For?

0:48:41.920 --> 0:48:42.319
<v Speaker 1>We dated?

0:48:42.440 --> 0:48:46.440
<v Speaker 4>Oh, before I proposed, Yeah, shit, I proposed between twenty three,

0:48:46.560 --> 0:48:49.279
<v Speaker 4>so four years, for like four or five years, but.

0:48:50.040 --> 0:48:51.360
<v Speaker 1>Thirty one we all met.

0:48:51.680 --> 0:48:51.879
<v Speaker 3>Nah.

0:48:51.880 --> 0:48:55.160
<v Speaker 4>When we met, I was twenty twenty eight, twenty eight, Right,

0:48:55.200 --> 0:48:57.960
<v Speaker 4>So we I met, we dated for like eight months,

0:48:58.000 --> 0:48:59.320
<v Speaker 4>stopped talking for like eight months.

0:48:59.400 --> 0:49:02.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, right, kind of get it right, we can

0:49:02.239 --> 0:49:02.400
<v Speaker 1>do it.

0:49:02.400 --> 0:49:03.600
<v Speaker 4>And then when we can do it, that was kind

0:49:03.640 --> 0:49:05.279
<v Speaker 4>of the first time that we really That's how we

0:49:05.360 --> 0:49:08.160
<v Speaker 4>count when we started, because then we became serious. We

0:49:08.160 --> 0:49:10.200
<v Speaker 4>were just we were just dating. It's just kind of like, yo,

0:49:10.280 --> 0:49:11.840
<v Speaker 4>I was in New York. I ain't know nobody she

0:49:11.960 --> 0:49:14.440
<v Speaker 4>was out there. I feel it was just it was

0:49:14.480 --> 0:49:14.920
<v Speaker 4>what it was.

0:49:15.080 --> 0:49:16.799
<v Speaker 2>Did the break tell you like when you was on

0:49:16.840 --> 0:49:18.719
<v Speaker 2>that break, was you like that that might have been

0:49:18.719 --> 0:49:19.000
<v Speaker 2>the one?

0:49:20.320 --> 0:49:24.680
<v Speaker 1>Honestly? No? No, nah nah man? When what was.

0:49:26.120 --> 0:49:28.759
<v Speaker 4>I think when she came back into my life and

0:49:28.800 --> 0:49:31.160
<v Speaker 4>I realized, oh, I still feel the same way about her,

0:49:31.600 --> 0:49:33.439
<v Speaker 4>and we just picked the right when we left off.

0:49:33.640 --> 0:49:35.759
<v Speaker 4>And this is so I'm in La too, So like

0:49:36.040 --> 0:49:39.200
<v Speaker 4>all my work is out here, yeah right, not your job.

0:49:40.480 --> 0:49:43.319
<v Speaker 1>We're not doing work. We're not talking about employments.

0:49:44.920 --> 0:49:46.640
<v Speaker 4>All my work is out here. And she just came

0:49:46.680 --> 0:49:48.480
<v Speaker 4>and inserted herself right back into my life. I didn't

0:49:48.480 --> 0:49:51.719
<v Speaker 4>nothing happened, and I just dropped everybody. I dropped everybody

0:49:51.760 --> 0:49:53.759
<v Speaker 4>dog and I was just like, oh wow, and at

0:49:53.800 --> 0:49:55.640
<v Speaker 4>that moment, were you trying to be monogamous?

0:49:55.680 --> 0:49:56.560
<v Speaker 1>For sure? For sure?

0:49:56.600 --> 0:49:59.120
<v Speaker 4>Because I realized when she came back to my life

0:49:59.480 --> 0:50:01.680
<v Speaker 4>the way we picked up, I was like, this is

0:50:01.680 --> 0:50:04.560
<v Speaker 4>not normal, you know, and sometimes God give you a

0:50:04.600 --> 0:50:06.960
<v Speaker 4>song you just got to listen is not normal. And

0:50:07.000 --> 0:50:11.160
<v Speaker 4>we just picked up conversation, chemistry, intimacy, all those things.

0:50:11.600 --> 0:50:12.879
<v Speaker 1>And then the other thing is.

0:50:12.840 --> 0:50:15.759
<v Speaker 4>This right because she came back in my life, right,

0:50:15.960 --> 0:50:18.320
<v Speaker 4>we addressed certain things that went on before we stopped

0:50:18.360 --> 0:50:20.520
<v Speaker 4>talking right away. I was like, Yo, let's just be

0:50:20.520 --> 0:50:23.000
<v Speaker 4>a little bit more transparent and vulnerable. Hey, here's what,

0:50:23.200 --> 0:50:25.400
<v Speaker 4>here's why I think you did wrong. And she was

0:50:25.440 --> 0:50:27.399
<v Speaker 4>just like, you know what, Like I couldn't handle that better.

0:50:28.000 --> 0:50:29.839
<v Speaker 4>That's really important. So there was a reason why y'all

0:50:29.840 --> 0:50:32.600
<v Speaker 4>broke up. Well, she was really afraid that I was

0:50:32.600 --> 0:50:34.200
<v Speaker 4>going to like come back to La and just like

0:50:34.239 --> 0:50:36.120
<v Speaker 4>forget about her, So she tried to kind of self

0:50:36.120 --> 0:50:37.200
<v Speaker 4>sabotage a relationship.

0:50:37.200 --> 0:50:39.840
<v Speaker 1>It's a long copy. I get it. I understand that.

0:50:40.880 --> 0:50:42.399
<v Speaker 4>But you know, like we had when she came back

0:50:42.440 --> 0:50:44.480
<v Speaker 4>to my life, we just had a different type of

0:50:44.520 --> 0:50:48.239
<v Speaker 4>communication that allowed us to actually go deeper, right, And

0:50:48.320 --> 0:50:49.840
<v Speaker 4>then I realized, Okay, I'm going to play some of

0:50:49.840 --> 0:50:50.160
<v Speaker 4>my life.

0:50:50.160 --> 0:50:52.920
<v Speaker 1>And then timing is important. Time isn't important, you know

0:50:52.960 --> 0:50:53.279
<v Speaker 1>what I mean.

0:50:53.320 --> 0:50:55.319
<v Speaker 4>Like I was out of the league, and I was

0:50:55.400 --> 0:50:58.040
<v Speaker 4>just like, okay, this is is to have a girl

0:50:58.080 --> 0:50:59.320
<v Speaker 4>in the league is not conducive.

0:51:00.120 --> 0:51:02.720
<v Speaker 1>It's not gonna do. It's just too hard. It's hard,

0:51:03.040 --> 0:51:04.040
<v Speaker 1>hard traveling.

0:51:04.200 --> 0:51:08.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, the lifestyle, it's just hard. So timing was important,

0:51:08.360 --> 0:51:14.560
<v Speaker 4>you know. So we said hard for I was like,

0:51:15.600 --> 0:51:19.680
<v Speaker 4>my gentleman, but yeah, so so so time was important man.

0:51:19.719 --> 0:51:21.960
<v Speaker 4>And then just from there we just continue to build.

0:51:22.080 --> 0:51:24.000
<v Speaker 4>And then we were doing a long distance thing like Jalan.

0:51:24.440 --> 0:51:26.360
<v Speaker 4>I was going back and forth, spend a lot of money.

0:51:26.400 --> 0:51:28.319
<v Speaker 4>She was coming here. She was missing work to come

0:51:28.360 --> 0:51:30.280
<v Speaker 4>see me, and I was just like, yo, like yeah,

0:51:30.440 --> 0:51:31.240
<v Speaker 4>let's make it happen.

0:51:31.280 --> 0:51:33.280
<v Speaker 1>And she wanted to come to l A anyway. Yeah,

0:51:33.400 --> 0:51:34.359
<v Speaker 1>and she made it. She came.

0:51:34.560 --> 0:51:34.719
<v Speaker 2>Bro.

0:51:35.000 --> 0:51:37.359
<v Speaker 4>Well, you had said something about I want to say

0:51:37.360 --> 0:51:40.680
<v Speaker 4>something about your son. Bro, I think your son is

0:51:40.719 --> 0:51:42.040
<v Speaker 4>going to be here. Your son is going to grow

0:51:42.120 --> 0:51:46.160
<v Speaker 4>up in a fantastic position. Right, you have influence, authority, power,

0:51:46.280 --> 0:51:48.920
<v Speaker 4>all these things, Okay, and it is going to be

0:51:48.960 --> 0:51:51.560
<v Speaker 4>hard for him. But something that I didn't have for

0:51:51.640 --> 0:51:53.960
<v Speaker 4>my dad. Right, he didn't give me any type of

0:51:54.719 --> 0:51:57.120
<v Speaker 4>just eight principles that you should look for in a woman,

0:51:57.600 --> 0:51:59.359
<v Speaker 4>all right, And what I think. I think you guys

0:51:59.360 --> 0:52:01.719
<v Speaker 4>have a great relationship. So you should just start instilling

0:52:01.760 --> 0:52:03.600
<v Speaker 4>principles to look for in a woman, even though it's

0:52:03.600 --> 0:52:06.120
<v Speaker 4>gonna be hard. So it's like, all right, look, what

0:52:06.160 --> 0:52:07.840
<v Speaker 4>are your values? You know what I'm saying.

0:52:08.040 --> 0:52:10.280
<v Speaker 1>You as a man, what are your values? Okay? Cool?

0:52:10.719 --> 0:52:13.719
<v Speaker 4>One of my values is family, absolutely, So now I

0:52:13.719 --> 0:52:16.600
<v Speaker 4>got to look for a woman who's into family, right,

0:52:16.640 --> 0:52:17.560
<v Speaker 4>what are your family?

0:52:17.600 --> 0:52:17.680
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:52:17.880 --> 0:52:20.239
<v Speaker 4>Asking those questions? He got to ask those questions. You

0:52:20.320 --> 0:52:21.600
<v Speaker 4>gotta facilitate those questions.

0:52:21.719 --> 0:52:21.919
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:52:22.080 --> 0:52:26.319
<v Speaker 4>I'm looking for a woman who is not all about herself, right,

0:52:26.560 --> 0:52:27.400
<v Speaker 4>someone who's carrying.

0:52:27.800 --> 0:52:29.759
<v Speaker 1>How do I figure that out? Okay? Cool? Well, a

0:52:29.800 --> 0:52:32.400
<v Speaker 1>way to figure out that is, yo, does does she pay? Sometimes?

0:52:33.239 --> 0:52:33.359
<v Speaker 2>Right?

0:52:33.600 --> 0:52:36.120
<v Speaker 4>She willing to pay sometimes. These are small signs that

0:52:36.160 --> 0:52:38.160
<v Speaker 4>are going to show up in good women. Now, a

0:52:38.200 --> 0:52:38.799
<v Speaker 4>good woman is.

0:52:38.719 --> 0:52:40.359
<v Speaker 1>Not you know, that's gonna be a viral clip. Right.

0:52:40.760 --> 0:52:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, Duke says his girl. You know that's what

0:52:44.520 --> 0:52:46.640
<v Speaker 1>they're going to do. That's not what Duke said but

0:52:46.719 --> 0:52:48.080
<v Speaker 1>I understand where you're coming from.

0:52:48.160 --> 0:52:50.239
<v Speaker 4>Though a good woman is not mistake free, though she's

0:52:50.239 --> 0:52:51.280
<v Speaker 4>gonna still have mistakes.

0:52:51.360 --> 0:52:53.560
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely what I'm saying. But there's certain things you could

0:52:53.600 --> 0:52:54.239
<v Speaker 1>look for and look.

0:52:54.520 --> 0:52:57.960
<v Speaker 4>If you're a god fearing religious person, then it's just like, hey, listen,

0:52:58.000 --> 0:52:59.879
<v Speaker 4>do you go to church, do you pray?

0:53:00.239 --> 0:53:00.839
<v Speaker 1>Right?

0:53:00.960 --> 0:53:02.600
<v Speaker 4>And like, you know, they talk about talk a lot

0:53:02.640 --> 0:53:06.240
<v Speaker 4>about women having checklist mm hmm, you gotta have a checklist.

0:53:06.360 --> 0:53:08.200
<v Speaker 1>I had a checklist. You gotta have a checklist.

0:53:08.920 --> 0:53:11.920
<v Speaker 3>Everybody got a check I had a check Everybody had

0:53:11.920 --> 0:53:13.000
<v Speaker 3>to check, whether they know it or not.

0:53:13.040 --> 0:53:15.719
<v Speaker 1>You have a check checklist. You know through data, you

0:53:15.719 --> 0:53:18.680
<v Speaker 1>have a checklist, right, I had a super checklist. I'll

0:53:18.680 --> 0:53:25.000
<v Speaker 1>get on your checklist, bad ass. Yeah, I know me,

0:53:25.600 --> 0:53:31.240
<v Speaker 1>and I love that. I was deliberate.

0:53:32.840 --> 0:53:35.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna be honest. I was deliberate about and this

0:53:35.440 --> 0:53:37.360
<v Speaker 2>is probably gonna get attack too. I was delibered about

0:53:37.360 --> 0:53:41.280
<v Speaker 2>the dating a woman with a father. And the reason

0:53:41.320 --> 0:53:44.759
<v Speaker 2>why is because when I first went to Kadeen's house,

0:53:45.920 --> 0:53:50.200
<v Speaker 2>her grandmother said, come here, sweetheart, come sit down. I

0:53:50.239 --> 0:53:53.760
<v Speaker 2>sat down at that table and her grandmother made Kadeen

0:53:53.880 --> 0:53:57.320
<v Speaker 2>go get a ceramic plate, with an actual iron fork

0:53:57.880 --> 0:54:01.239
<v Speaker 2>to make my plate. And what that said to me was,

0:54:01.920 --> 0:54:05.080
<v Speaker 2>this young lady has been taught by the women in

0:54:05.120 --> 0:54:07.759
<v Speaker 2>her life how to treat a man, the same way

0:54:07.880 --> 0:54:10.040
<v Speaker 2>my mom and my dad made sure I knew how

0:54:10.080 --> 0:54:12.040
<v Speaker 2>to treat a woman. So the biggest thing on my

0:54:12.120 --> 0:54:14.000
<v Speaker 2>list was to make sure I find someone who had

0:54:14.000 --> 0:54:17.160
<v Speaker 2>a good, strong family unit, because prior to that, I

0:54:17.200 --> 0:54:19.120
<v Speaker 2>had dated a couple of women whose father's weren't in

0:54:19.120 --> 0:54:21.040
<v Speaker 2>their life, and sometimes the way they spoke to me,

0:54:21.440 --> 0:54:23.920
<v Speaker 2>it was almost like, you either want me to slap

0:54:23.960 --> 0:54:25.440
<v Speaker 2>the shit out of you or you want me to

0:54:25.520 --> 0:54:27.799
<v Speaker 2>cheat on you, because you're talking to me like I'm

0:54:27.840 --> 0:54:30.560
<v Speaker 2>beneath you and if the only way I can show

0:54:30.600 --> 0:54:33.440
<v Speaker 2>you love is through disrespect, because that's all you know,

0:54:33.560 --> 0:54:35.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to you know what I'm saying. So

0:54:35.680 --> 0:54:37.319
<v Speaker 2>after that is when I was like, I gotta find

0:54:37.360 --> 0:54:39.400
<v Speaker 2>that was the number one, that I gotta find a

0:54:39.440 --> 0:54:43.160
<v Speaker 2>young woman who has a father, and then it was fat.

0:54:42.880 --> 0:54:52.279
<v Speaker 3>Ass So the same order though the family part was

0:54:52.320 --> 0:54:55.440
<v Speaker 3>extremely important to me, and it was important to me

0:54:55.520 --> 0:54:59.000
<v Speaker 3>because I actually need somebody that loves theyself or I'll

0:54:59.000 --> 0:54:59.759
<v Speaker 3>take advantage of.

0:54:59.719 --> 0:55:01.520
<v Speaker 1>You and you can't get that.

0:55:01.600 --> 0:55:03.919
<v Speaker 3>If people haven't been telling you who you are your

0:55:04.080 --> 0:55:04.600
<v Speaker 3>entire life.

0:55:04.760 --> 0:55:05.200
<v Speaker 1>That was deep.

0:55:05.200 --> 0:55:08.560
<v Speaker 2>Take it back on one time. You knew that if

0:55:08.560 --> 0:55:10.200
<v Speaker 2>they didn't love themselves, you would take it.

0:55:10.200 --> 0:55:14.400
<v Speaker 3>I'll take advantage of their lack of self love. So

0:55:14.719 --> 0:55:17.560
<v Speaker 3>that's deep. It's super deep. I told you I'm not

0:55:17.640 --> 0:55:20.160
<v Speaker 3>that good of a person, right. The fact that you

0:55:20.280 --> 0:55:24.640
<v Speaker 3>know that is important. So my fiance, she taught me

0:55:24.760 --> 0:55:27.720
<v Speaker 3>how to love her. She showed me what love looks

0:55:27.800 --> 0:55:30.239
<v Speaker 3>like for her. But she could only do that if

0:55:30.280 --> 0:55:32.000
<v Speaker 3>people tell her who she is every day.

0:55:32.040 --> 0:55:35.279
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, that's a good one. That's a good one. What

0:55:35.320 --> 0:55:42.800
<v Speaker 1>was your list? Fat ass? Bro? Fat ass? Why is

0:55:42.840 --> 0:55:44.319
<v Speaker 1>that something that's so high on the list? I mean,

0:55:44.640 --> 0:55:46.200
<v Speaker 1>what is that about? Why is that something that's so

0:55:46.280 --> 0:55:48.719
<v Speaker 1>high on the list. Do you don't really want to

0:55:48.760 --> 0:55:51.160
<v Speaker 1>have this conversation? I mean I feel like you have

0:55:51.239 --> 0:55:55.279
<v Speaker 1>the conversation. Yeahap clap, I love it.

0:55:55.320 --> 0:55:58.440
<v Speaker 2>Plus, there's nothing like when your woman puts on heels

0:55:58.920 --> 0:56:02.000
<v Speaker 2>and she's statue wes and she you know, lean and

0:56:02.000 --> 0:56:04.399
<v Speaker 2>that shit pop out and she just walked by.

0:56:04.719 --> 0:56:06.680
<v Speaker 1>It's like I didn't ask to love ass like that.

0:56:06.760 --> 0:56:09.719
<v Speaker 1>It was put upon me. You know what, I'm saying

0:56:10.040 --> 0:56:14.480
<v Speaker 1>like some people are breasts. That's me.

0:56:16.280 --> 0:56:19.040
<v Speaker 2>It's all about that for me. Also, I knew I wouldn't.

0:56:19.080 --> 0:56:20.480
<v Speaker 2>I knew I was gonna have sons. You can ask

0:56:20.520 --> 0:56:22.520
<v Speaker 2>my wife. We was in college and she was just like,

0:56:22.520 --> 0:56:23.759
<v Speaker 2>how many kids you want to have? I said, I

0:56:23.920 --> 0:56:25.560
<v Speaker 2>have three kids. They're all gonna be boys. I don't

0:56:25.560 --> 0:56:27.520
<v Speaker 2>make girls. That's what I said to her. And then

0:56:27.560 --> 0:56:29.359
<v Speaker 2>I told her, I said, you lucky you athletic, because

0:56:29.400 --> 0:56:31.319
<v Speaker 2>my kids got to be athletic. And I knew that

0:56:31.400 --> 0:56:33.480
<v Speaker 2>the bubble and a woman meant that she had some

0:56:33.560 --> 0:56:36.960
<v Speaker 2>athleticism because her mom ran track. She Jamaican. So for me,

0:56:37.040 --> 0:56:38.759
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't just about the look. It was like, oh

0:56:38.800 --> 0:56:42.080
<v Speaker 2>she an athlete. And if my sons get my wife's body,

0:56:42.680 --> 0:56:44.160
<v Speaker 2>they can't you know, they can't have.

0:56:44.040 --> 0:56:46.480
<v Speaker 1>The you know, you know what I'm saying. You see

0:56:46.520 --> 0:56:52.000
<v Speaker 1>people who are not athletic, you know, coordinated.

0:56:51.719 --> 0:56:53.479
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying. I needed to make sure.

0:56:53.560 --> 0:56:56.120
<v Speaker 2>So I watched I watched k walk. She was a

0:56:56.160 --> 0:56:58.520
<v Speaker 2>pagant girl. She put them heels on, she didn't stumble,

0:56:58.880 --> 0:57:04.200
<v Speaker 2>she still tall. Also, her confidence it's what freaking got me.

0:57:04.680 --> 0:57:08.640
<v Speaker 2>Like Kadeen was so confident at a young age that

0:57:08.719 --> 0:57:12.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, gosh, this, I've never seen an eighteen

0:57:12.640 --> 0:57:15.000
<v Speaker 2>year old woman standing up in front of a bunch

0:57:15.000 --> 0:57:16.720
<v Speaker 2>of people. She was a pageant girl, she was a

0:57:16.760 --> 0:57:20.080
<v Speaker 2>hostess and just hi everyone, I'm Kadeen Ellis and now

0:57:20.080 --> 0:57:22.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm here at that and I'm just like, yo, because

0:57:22.320 --> 0:57:24.160
<v Speaker 2>you know how it is when you eighteen girls are

0:57:24.200 --> 0:57:26.880
<v Speaker 2>shy and they tend me. She wasn't like that. That

0:57:27.040 --> 0:57:29.400
<v Speaker 2>just got me because I know how I am. I

0:57:29.480 --> 0:57:31.000
<v Speaker 2>like to talk, I like to be out. So I'm like,

0:57:31.040 --> 0:57:33.160
<v Speaker 2>if I like to be out, I need somebody with

0:57:33.200 --> 0:57:34.439
<v Speaker 2>me that when I'm out there, just like.

0:57:34.320 --> 0:57:37.320
<v Speaker 1>Nothing, No, come with me. And she took that and

0:57:37.360 --> 0:57:38.680
<v Speaker 1>she ran with and I was like, well, I love

0:57:38.760 --> 0:57:40.920
<v Speaker 1>this one. Here she was. She was my one, Like

0:57:40.960 --> 0:57:42.120
<v Speaker 1>everything about her was.

0:57:42.120 --> 0:57:44.440
<v Speaker 2>Just what I needed in my life. Yeah, that's what

0:57:44.520 --> 0:57:44.880
<v Speaker 2>I needed.

0:57:45.000 --> 0:57:47.360
<v Speaker 1>I needed. I needed a woman who had a fat ass.

0:57:47.440 --> 0:57:50.560
<v Speaker 3>I needed a woman who wanted a family because I

0:57:50.640 --> 0:57:52.439
<v Speaker 3>knew that was something that I wanted at some point

0:57:52.440 --> 0:57:55.919
<v Speaker 3>in my life. And then I guess the other thing

0:57:55.960 --> 0:58:00.439
<v Speaker 3>would be Damn, I just lost my thought.

0:58:00.480 --> 0:58:05.800
<v Speaker 1>Let's see a distracted distracted you know what, I'm like,

0:58:05.840 --> 0:58:10.520
<v Speaker 1>what family? God, God, godly and.

0:58:12.440 --> 0:58:15.560
<v Speaker 3>Excuse me. Just like yourself outgoing, I am super social.

0:58:15.640 --> 0:58:18.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm a social butterfly. You put me in the room,

0:58:18.280 --> 0:58:21.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to talk to people. I'm gonna just like

0:58:21.040 --> 0:58:23.520
<v Speaker 3>a butterfly. I'm gonna float, you know what I mean?

0:58:23.560 --> 0:58:27.000
<v Speaker 3>Here here, And I wanted someone who could compliment that

0:58:27.240 --> 0:58:29.600
<v Speaker 3>and who could also hold their own and I'm not

0:58:29.680 --> 0:58:32.240
<v Speaker 3>around because when I turn my back, I need someone

0:58:32.240 --> 0:58:34.520
<v Speaker 3>who could possibly seal the deal for me.

0:58:34.720 --> 0:58:37.160
<v Speaker 1>So when I got into the conversation.

0:58:39.280 --> 0:58:41.720
<v Speaker 3>And now we're moving on, so that was important for

0:58:41.800 --> 0:58:43.360
<v Speaker 3>me because I knew that that was going to help

0:58:43.400 --> 0:58:43.919
<v Speaker 3>make me better.

0:58:43.920 --> 0:58:45.720
<v Speaker 2>So that was important for me to have that checklist.

0:58:46.040 --> 0:58:48.200
<v Speaker 2>That's not that's you bet a lot of the same.

0:58:48.360 --> 0:58:50.560
<v Speaker 2>That's why Wise when they did the podcast, got along

0:58:50.560 --> 0:58:52.920
<v Speaker 2>so much because they like the same person who's your

0:58:52.960 --> 0:59:00.600
<v Speaker 2>list due personal lists.

0:59:04.040 --> 0:59:07.240
<v Speaker 1>Man, family oriented, someone who is just loving.

0:59:07.920 --> 0:59:09.960
<v Speaker 4>I think for me, Man, I had the tendency to

0:59:10.040 --> 0:59:13.040
<v Speaker 4>like get so doubted too, sports work, whatever the case

0:59:13.040 --> 0:59:14.680
<v Speaker 4>may be, that sometimes I could fit.

0:59:14.720 --> 0:59:17.080
<v Speaker 1>I forget. I have a family, right and my girls

0:59:17.200 --> 0:59:20.640
<v Speaker 1>like heyo call your mom? Yeah yeah, and.

0:59:20.960 --> 0:59:23.120
<v Speaker 4>You need to have you spoke to your brothers, have

0:59:23.200 --> 0:59:25.040
<v Speaker 4>you spoke to your mom. Hey, listen, you need to

0:59:25.040 --> 0:59:27.520
<v Speaker 4>get better at that. Right, So someone who is going

0:59:27.600 --> 0:59:30.880
<v Speaker 4>to make it, who's going to hold me accountable to

0:59:31.280 --> 0:59:34.240
<v Speaker 4>keeping my flame going with my family? That was really important, right,

0:59:34.280 --> 0:59:38.000
<v Speaker 4>someone my family loved, My family loves her, right, and

0:59:39.040 --> 0:59:42.240
<v Speaker 4>she's super accommodating to my family values.

0:59:42.640 --> 0:59:42.880
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:59:43.240 --> 0:59:48.680
<v Speaker 4>So she's not Nigerian. Nigerians are tough, Nigerians are judgmental, Right,

0:59:49.120 --> 0:59:51.320
<v Speaker 4>Nigerians will try to test you if you're not Nigerian.

0:59:51.400 --> 0:59:51.560
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:59:51.680 --> 0:59:55.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, she was just eating it and you was not

0:59:55.320 --> 0:59:58.000
<v Speaker 4>not even like a not even just like a just

0:59:58.080 --> 1:00:01.080
<v Speaker 4>taking it in like a like a you know, a victim,

1:00:01.400 --> 1:00:03.840
<v Speaker 4>but really like taking it flipping it back.

1:00:04.000 --> 1:00:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Hey, yo, I'm going to meet you with love.

1:00:05.600 --> 1:00:08.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm going to meet you with Oh auntie, here's

1:00:08.360 --> 1:00:10.680
<v Speaker 4>what we brought for you. You know what I'm saying, more

1:00:10.720 --> 1:00:13.280
<v Speaker 4>so than I've ever done. So that was really important

1:00:13.320 --> 1:00:15.000
<v Speaker 4>for me. And I realized how she can maneuver it

1:00:15.000 --> 1:00:17.800
<v Speaker 4>in that environment and meant that she would be accommodating

1:00:17.840 --> 1:00:21.600
<v Speaker 4>to whatever comes with that. Right, someone who was super intelligent.

1:00:21.960 --> 1:00:24.720
<v Speaker 4>I need to be able to talk to you. I

1:00:24.800 --> 1:00:27.520
<v Speaker 4>just need to be able to talk to you and like,

1:00:27.640 --> 1:00:29.280
<v Speaker 4>I feel like I'm a pretty smart person.

1:00:30.000 --> 1:00:32.320
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. I'm an in depth thinker.

1:00:33.080 --> 1:00:35.560
<v Speaker 4>I want to talk about anything and everything, and I

1:00:35.600 --> 1:00:37.760
<v Speaker 4>want to deal with the person I love. And if

1:00:37.800 --> 1:00:39.320
<v Speaker 4>you can't do that with me, you're not for me,

1:00:39.520 --> 1:00:41.560
<v Speaker 4>all right. So that was on my list. Someone who

1:00:41.560 --> 1:00:45.920
<v Speaker 4>I could talk to, someone who knew how to argue, right,

1:00:49.400 --> 1:00:51.240
<v Speaker 4>someone who knew how to just disagree.

1:00:51.360 --> 1:00:54.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, that's what I'm saying. You know why that is? Dope?

1:00:54.320 --> 1:00:55.120
<v Speaker 1>You say that, you know what?

1:00:55.160 --> 1:00:58.480
<v Speaker 2>The second thing on here is, yeah, finding out as

1:00:58.480 --> 1:01:02.640
<v Speaker 2>a man how now to always want to be writing's

1:01:02.720 --> 1:01:04.440
<v Speaker 2>on the paper right here, because I wanted to ask

1:01:04.520 --> 1:01:06.280
<v Speaker 2>y'all about this. So I'm glad you brought that up.

1:01:06.400 --> 1:01:07.480
<v Speaker 2>And now you just talk about that.

1:01:07.800 --> 1:01:09.520
<v Speaker 4>And now that I think about that, which we're talking

1:01:09.520 --> 1:01:12.000
<v Speaker 4>about what you said, what you finished saying, Now that

1:01:12.000 --> 1:01:15.680
<v Speaker 4>I think about the argument part, right, you asked me earlier,

1:01:15.720 --> 1:01:17.680
<v Speaker 4>how did I know she was the one? Or how

1:01:17.720 --> 1:01:19.880
<v Speaker 4>do I know when you were? I do remember when

1:01:19.880 --> 1:01:22.840
<v Speaker 4>we were dating, all right. It was our first type

1:01:22.880 --> 1:01:26.840
<v Speaker 4>of disagreement and it was the yo. So what are

1:01:26.880 --> 1:01:30.120
<v Speaker 4>we that type of Okay? Okay, okay, okay. And when

1:01:30.160 --> 1:01:32.520
<v Speaker 4>we first had that talk, you know, it was in

1:01:32.640 --> 1:01:34.760
<v Speaker 4>shower and she was like, YO, like, let me ask

1:01:34.760 --> 1:01:36.320
<v Speaker 4>you a question. Was like, YO, like, so we've been

1:01:36.400 --> 1:01:38.560
<v Speaker 4>dating a couple, we've been hanging out with you where

1:01:38.600 --> 1:01:42.400
<v Speaker 4>you see this going right and usually you know my

1:01:42.480 --> 1:01:44.880
<v Speaker 4>heartstar Race. I'm like, how to answer this? So then

1:01:44.920 --> 1:01:46.560
<v Speaker 4>we just start talking. I said, you know what, man,

1:01:47.120 --> 1:01:48.880
<v Speaker 4>here's some things I would like to see from you

1:01:49.880 --> 1:01:52.080
<v Speaker 4>before we moved it, before we moved to the next step.

1:01:52.320 --> 1:01:53.640
<v Speaker 4>I've never met your family yet.

1:01:53.640 --> 1:01:53.959
<v Speaker 1>I haven't.

1:01:53.960 --> 1:01:56.240
<v Speaker 4>I haven't met your sisters. We've been dating for X

1:01:56.240 --> 1:01:58.040
<v Speaker 4>amount of time. You talk about your sisters, but I've

1:01:58.040 --> 1:02:01.320
<v Speaker 4>never met them, right, So I talking about things that

1:02:01.360 --> 1:02:03.800
<v Speaker 4>she was doing wrong while we're dating, and she didn

1:02:03.880 --> 1:02:06.520
<v Speaker 4>spas out. She just took it and was like, Okay,

1:02:06.720 --> 1:02:09.240
<v Speaker 4>I can make I can make that correction. So for

1:02:09.640 --> 1:02:12.160
<v Speaker 4>a woman to want to make corrections when she's not

1:02:12.200 --> 1:02:14.480
<v Speaker 4>even locked in with somebody like that, it said he

1:02:14.600 --> 1:02:16.320
<v Speaker 4>told me a lot that, like, Okay, we can have

1:02:16.360 --> 1:02:20.440
<v Speaker 4>a difficult conversation. We can have a like difficult conversation

1:02:20.680 --> 1:02:24.280
<v Speaker 4>right now and move something happens from it right now.

1:02:24.520 --> 1:02:26.880
<v Speaker 4>It gave me confidence that Okay, this person is someone.

1:02:26.640 --> 1:02:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I could really build a life with.

1:02:28.120 --> 1:02:31.400
<v Speaker 4>Right and immediately, like next week, start making changes everything

1:02:31.400 --> 1:02:33.480
<v Speaker 4>I was talking about, Start making changes, Start making changes

1:02:33.720 --> 1:02:35.360
<v Speaker 4>instead of just dismissing it and me like, now I

1:02:35.400 --> 1:02:36.080
<v Speaker 4>ain't doing all that.

1:02:36.480 --> 1:02:38.200
<v Speaker 1>My boy that I was talking about was going to

1:02:38.280 --> 1:02:40.520
<v Speaker 1>hear this. One thing is he's not jimmying.

1:02:40.800 --> 1:02:42.640
<v Speaker 2>People are gonna put two and two together when they

1:02:42.640 --> 1:02:43.840
<v Speaker 2>watched this, but he's not germying.

1:02:43.840 --> 1:02:45.280
<v Speaker 1>He's doing well for himself, making money.

1:02:45.280 --> 1:02:47.040
<v Speaker 2>And he's the one who called me about you know,

1:02:47.080 --> 1:02:48.960
<v Speaker 2>if she if she wants to be with a guy

1:02:49.080 --> 1:02:51.560
<v Speaker 2>like me, she should know. And I literally said to him,

1:02:51.600 --> 1:02:52.880
<v Speaker 2>I said, well, how was she going to know if

1:02:52.920 --> 1:02:54.720
<v Speaker 2>you don't give her a chance to make adjustments?

1:02:54.760 --> 1:02:58.760
<v Speaker 1>And he said and then he said, I need to

1:02:58.760 --> 1:02:59.400
<v Speaker 1>go to therapy.

1:02:59.480 --> 1:03:02.080
<v Speaker 2>And I said why he said, even though he's not Jerry,

1:03:02.120 --> 1:03:05.600
<v Speaker 2>And he said, I've never seen a positive family atmosphere

1:03:05.640 --> 1:03:07.760
<v Speaker 2>because of the things that happened in my culture and

1:03:07.800 --> 1:03:09.120
<v Speaker 2>the way I want to live my life.

1:03:09.120 --> 1:03:10.960
<v Speaker 1>I didn't watch that, so I don't know how to

1:03:11.040 --> 1:03:11.560
<v Speaker 1>exist in that.

1:03:11.920 --> 1:03:14.360
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, I have to learn how to

1:03:14.400 --> 1:03:16.760
<v Speaker 2>be in a relationship, which goes back to what you

1:03:16.920 --> 1:03:19.800
<v Speaker 2>said that you had to learn how to be the

1:03:19.880 --> 1:03:21.320
<v Speaker 2>right man for your fiance.

1:03:21.880 --> 1:03:22.880
<v Speaker 1>You know, you see what I'm saying?

1:03:22.960 --> 1:03:25.479
<v Speaker 2>Like that all it's funny to hear y'all talk about

1:03:25.480 --> 1:03:27.919
<v Speaker 2>this because I've never experienced this. And this is why

1:03:27.960 --> 1:03:30.320
<v Speaker 2>I like doing these type of podcasts where it's just men,

1:03:30.800 --> 1:03:33.560
<v Speaker 2>because typically when it's me and Kadeen, I give my perspective,

1:03:33.600 --> 1:03:36.320
<v Speaker 2>she gives her perspective. But both of our perspectives are

1:03:36.440 --> 1:03:39.120
<v Speaker 2>very linear because we met each other when we were eighteen.

1:03:39.920 --> 1:03:41.640
<v Speaker 2>So it's like when people ask us, well, when y'all

1:03:41.720 --> 1:03:44.560
<v Speaker 2>was dated, would y'all do this? And I'm like, I

1:03:45.080 --> 1:03:47.919
<v Speaker 2>wasn't really dating in twenty six, Like I can't even

1:03:48.000 --> 1:03:50.480
<v Speaker 2>give you advice on that. I can't, you know what

1:03:50.520 --> 1:03:53.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm saying. So these conversations are really helping me. Also,

1:03:54.040 --> 1:03:57.360
<v Speaker 2>he quit my sons because Jackson literally said to me

1:03:57.440 --> 1:03:59.320
<v Speaker 2>last week, yeah, I'm starting to get more confident and

1:04:00.040 --> 1:04:01.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, talking to girls.

1:04:01.280 --> 1:04:03.520
<v Speaker 1>And I asked him myself, what makes you more confident?

1:04:03.920 --> 1:04:06.560
<v Speaker 2>He was like, well, number one, I'm finally taller than them,

1:04:06.760 --> 1:04:09.960
<v Speaker 2>because you know, girls, that's the thing before us.

1:04:09.920 --> 1:04:10.120
<v Speaker 1>You know.

1:04:10.600 --> 1:04:13.000
<v Speaker 2>So now he's about he's five to five now, so

1:04:13.280 --> 1:04:16.040
<v Speaker 2>all the girls in his age shorten him an eye level,

1:04:16.360 --> 1:04:18.880
<v Speaker 2>and he started lifting weights. He's like, I feel a

1:04:18.920 --> 1:04:21.280
<v Speaker 2>little bit more plus the test to talk about how

1:04:21.280 --> 1:04:21.440
<v Speaker 2>to do.

1:04:21.560 --> 1:04:22.120
<v Speaker 1>But he's coming.

1:04:22.720 --> 1:04:24.960
<v Speaker 2>So we having in real conversations and he's just like,

1:04:25.000 --> 1:04:27.440
<v Speaker 2>so when you start talking to mom, and I'm just like, well,

1:04:27.440 --> 1:04:29.320
<v Speaker 2>he's gonna ask me questions when he's in his twenties

1:04:29.400 --> 1:04:31.320
<v Speaker 2>and I'm going to say, I don't know because at

1:04:31.320 --> 1:04:33.640
<v Speaker 2>this point I was already with your mom, Like you're

1:04:33.680 --> 1:04:37.280
<v Speaker 2>talking about dating girls like imagine him twenty seven, twenty eight, Dad,

1:04:37.280 --> 1:04:38.200
<v Speaker 2>I got this chick on mating.

1:04:38.280 --> 1:04:40.320
<v Speaker 1>She lives in France and I live here. How did

1:04:40.360 --> 1:04:41.360
<v Speaker 1>you and mom deal with that?

1:04:41.520 --> 1:04:42.880
<v Speaker 3>But you don't got too though, That's why you say

1:04:42.920 --> 1:04:47.480
<v Speaker 3>you call call called uncle Duke. Yeah, no, I'm gon

1:04:47.480 --> 1:04:50.040
<v Speaker 3>tapping with uncle. I'm definitely gonna do that, you know

1:04:50.080 --> 1:04:52.600
<v Speaker 3>what I mean, absolutely, And that's that's why the what

1:04:52.680 --> 1:04:54.680
<v Speaker 3>we're doing right here is important. Building with other brothers

1:04:54.720 --> 1:04:57.240
<v Speaker 3>is important, connected with like my individuals support. We talk

1:04:57.280 --> 1:04:58.840
<v Speaker 3>about the shit all the time, you know what I mean,

1:04:59.320 --> 1:05:01.520
<v Speaker 3>Like I want to know that, like if my kids

1:05:01.600 --> 1:05:03.200
<v Speaker 3>get sent to you, or if you're watching your kids

1:05:03.240 --> 1:05:06.400
<v Speaker 3>you're enforcing the same value as a science structure that

1:05:06.480 --> 1:05:06.760
<v Speaker 3>I am.

1:05:06.800 --> 1:05:08.960
<v Speaker 1>You know what I mean, because sometimes as a kid,

1:05:09.160 --> 1:05:10.720
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to hear from your pops. Now, it's

1:05:10.720 --> 1:05:12.919
<v Speaker 1>great about relationship that y'all have, right, it's great.

1:05:14.200 --> 1:05:16.200
<v Speaker 3>You're still his dad, and he don't look at me

1:05:16.240 --> 1:05:19.040
<v Speaker 3>like you do. You don't like nothing, nah, exactly exactly.

1:05:19.080 --> 1:05:21.440
<v Speaker 3>So it's it's another voice, and outside voice that you

1:05:21.480 --> 1:05:24.080
<v Speaker 3>trust is going to be really important and instrumental in

1:05:24.120 --> 1:05:29.000
<v Speaker 3>that growth process, right, Like these guys are I mean

1:05:29.280 --> 1:05:33.920
<v Speaker 3>you included in my life by design, Like it's I

1:05:34.000 --> 1:05:36.480
<v Speaker 3>know that. To Oh's point, I can't get to my

1:05:36.680 --> 1:05:38.760
<v Speaker 3>son all the time. I won't be able to get

1:05:38.800 --> 1:05:40.520
<v Speaker 3>to my son. But I will tell you this though

1:05:41.400 --> 1:05:44.560
<v Speaker 3>you feel like you're not equipped a lot of times.

1:05:44.640 --> 1:05:47.320
<v Speaker 3>But I hear the way that you speak, and you said,

1:05:47.560 --> 1:05:51.160
<v Speaker 3>I seen this eighteen year old woman. The fact that

1:05:51.200 --> 1:05:53.720
<v Speaker 3>you called her an eighteen year old woman told me

1:05:53.920 --> 1:05:56.320
<v Speaker 3>that you knew what you were looking for. You were

1:05:56.320 --> 1:05:59.280
<v Speaker 3>attracted to a mature woman at a young age. I

1:05:59.440 --> 1:06:02.520
<v Speaker 3>was at a young age, right, because eighteen year old

1:06:02.520 --> 1:06:05.280
<v Speaker 3>as a girl, right, But when somebody separates their self

1:06:05.800 --> 1:06:07.640
<v Speaker 3>and you could see like wow, it's a confidence, it's

1:06:07.640 --> 1:06:10.360
<v Speaker 3>a regalness that she carries herself with. She's sexy without

1:06:10.400 --> 1:06:13.760
<v Speaker 3>showing her body. I like that. That's a woman to me, right,

1:06:13.840 --> 1:06:15.840
<v Speaker 3>So you knew what you were looking at. I'm saying

1:06:16.920 --> 1:06:18.600
<v Speaker 3>as far as when it comes to your son, When

1:06:18.640 --> 1:06:21.440
<v Speaker 3>it comes to jackson, like you can absolutely tell him

1:06:21.440 --> 1:06:23.160
<v Speaker 3>what to look for because you knew what to look for.

1:06:23.680 --> 1:06:25.919
<v Speaker 3>You guys date all You guys date all the time.

1:06:25.920 --> 1:06:27.720
<v Speaker 3>I've seen you guys go on more dates than I

1:06:27.760 --> 1:06:28.440
<v Speaker 3>s We still do.

1:06:29.640 --> 1:06:32.400
<v Speaker 1>We date once mandatory, but at least twice.

1:06:33.000 --> 1:06:35.920
<v Speaker 3>And I don't want to take anything away from women

1:06:35.960 --> 1:06:38.440
<v Speaker 3>that are in relationships, but like, you do know how

1:06:38.440 --> 1:06:41.080
<v Speaker 3>to date. You do know how to make her continuously

1:06:41.120 --> 1:06:45.080
<v Speaker 3>feel sexy. You know those steps and you know those things.

1:06:45.080 --> 1:06:47.640
<v Speaker 3>You guys just go to bed tonight together every single night,

1:06:47.920 --> 1:06:50.000
<v Speaker 3>but you know exactly what that looks like.

1:06:50.080 --> 1:06:51.400
<v Speaker 1>You know what she needs to feel.

1:06:51.480 --> 1:06:53.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna tell you the biggest thing that was important

1:06:53.480 --> 1:06:55.840
<v Speaker 3>for me when I was growing up. It wasn't my

1:06:56.000 --> 1:06:58.680
<v Speaker 3>mom and my dad's relationship. They got a divorce when

1:06:58.720 --> 1:07:00.520
<v Speaker 3>I was six, but it was my mother and my

1:07:00.600 --> 1:07:03.760
<v Speaker 3>stepdad's relationship because of the affection I got to see

1:07:03.800 --> 1:07:07.320
<v Speaker 3>in the home when she when she walks by and

1:07:07.960 --> 1:07:10.600
<v Speaker 3>he smack her on the ass, or you know, she's

1:07:10.680 --> 1:07:12.600
<v Speaker 3>at the kitchen and he comes up behind her and

1:07:12.640 --> 1:07:14.360
<v Speaker 3>he hugs her, and I'm like, oh, women like that.

1:07:14.880 --> 1:07:16.920
<v Speaker 3>The fact that you get to show your sons what

1:07:17.000 --> 1:07:19.440
<v Speaker 3>women like every day, that's who they're gonna emulate.

1:07:19.560 --> 1:07:19.800
<v Speaker 1>Fact.

1:07:20.720 --> 1:07:23.160
<v Speaker 3>So like my dad didn't do any of that. So

1:07:23.240 --> 1:07:26.160
<v Speaker 3>my brothers they have a bit of a disconnect with affection.

1:07:26.560 --> 1:07:29.040
<v Speaker 3>I don't have any disconnect with affection because I grew

1:07:29.080 --> 1:07:33.320
<v Speaker 3>up in the household seeing it all the time. So

1:07:33.480 --> 1:07:36.560
<v Speaker 3>I'm telling you, we could say all the words that

1:07:36.600 --> 1:07:37.960
<v Speaker 3>we want to say to our kids.

1:07:38.000 --> 1:07:39.480
<v Speaker 1>They're gonna watch.

1:07:40.520 --> 1:07:44.320
<v Speaker 3>They're gonna watch because I hear men who were unfaithful

1:07:44.640 --> 1:07:48.640
<v Speaker 3>to their wives, to their children's mom and they try

1:07:48.680 --> 1:07:50.200
<v Speaker 3>to speak to their son and tell them who he

1:07:50.200 --> 1:07:51.880
<v Speaker 3>should be, and he gonna only be what he sees.

1:07:52.240 --> 1:07:54.120
<v Speaker 1>He say, you did this to mom. No.

1:07:54.840 --> 1:07:57.560
<v Speaker 3>So again, this is when we say you said in

1:07:57.600 --> 1:07:59.560
<v Speaker 3>an incredible example, it's not because of the words you

1:07:59.560 --> 1:08:01.800
<v Speaker 3>hear you say, we hear you say, we can watch

1:08:01.840 --> 1:08:03.240
<v Speaker 3>your Instagram in silence.

1:08:02.920 --> 1:08:04.919
<v Speaker 1>Act know exactly who you are. Action. It's my brother.

1:08:05.880 --> 1:08:08.680
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate that. Actually, that's what and not for nothing.

1:08:08.680 --> 1:08:10.160
<v Speaker 2>That's a good time to take a break because you see,

1:08:10.200 --> 1:08:14.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm sweating like a freaking slave. Uh, it's hot in here, bro,

1:08:14.960 --> 1:08:16.720
<v Speaker 2>It's it's crazy here. We had to turn the AC

1:08:16.800 --> 1:08:19.000
<v Speaker 2>off because y'all wouldn't able to hear nothing. So we're

1:08:19.040 --> 1:08:21.920
<v Speaker 2>gonna take a quick break. We're gonna come back finish

1:08:21.960 --> 1:08:34.799
<v Speaker 2>with these letters listen to letters. So we're back after

1:08:35.400 --> 1:08:37.479
<v Speaker 2>you know, paying some bills. We got listening letters, so

1:08:37.720 --> 1:08:39.559
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna let you guys help me with listening to letters.

1:08:39.560 --> 1:08:42.120
<v Speaker 2>Listen to letters are when people writing with their problems. Now,

1:08:42.880 --> 1:08:45.760
<v Speaker 2>this listening letter is four cards. You see this four cards,

1:08:45.800 --> 1:08:47.719
<v Speaker 2>So I'm gonna have to go through this. I guess

1:08:47.760 --> 1:08:49.920
<v Speaker 2>we we always told them we want context, so I

1:08:49.920 --> 1:08:51.719
<v Speaker 2>guess we're gonna get a lot of context.

1:08:51.760 --> 1:08:52.920
<v Speaker 1>I saw if I brainier.

1:08:52.640 --> 1:08:56.559
<v Speaker 2>Major and communication major, right, Yes, no problem, So let's

1:08:56.600 --> 1:08:59.839
<v Speaker 2>get money. It says what's up de Val and Kadeen,

1:09:00.160 --> 1:09:02.960
<v Speaker 2>So we're gonna add what's up Daval, Kadeen and DJ

1:09:03.400 --> 1:09:07.280
<v Speaker 2>from the nicest in the podcast like that, first and foremost,

1:09:07.320 --> 1:09:09.320
<v Speaker 2>thank you guys for the work you guys do it

1:09:09.400 --> 1:09:11.439
<v Speaker 2>helps so much. Let's get right to it. I need

1:09:11.560 --> 1:09:16.519
<v Speaker 2>y'all help. I need you'll help a nigga out. My

1:09:16.560 --> 1:09:18.559
<v Speaker 2>wife and I have been happily married for twelve years,

1:09:18.600 --> 1:09:20.760
<v Speaker 2>and now we're both in our early thirties, no kids,

1:09:20.760 --> 1:09:22.840
<v Speaker 2>and I absolutely can't keep my hands off my wife.

1:09:22.880 --> 1:09:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I know that problem.

1:09:24.320 --> 1:09:27.360
<v Speaker 2>I low keep married the damn supermodel and not really

1:09:27.400 --> 1:09:30.080
<v Speaker 2>sure how the fuck I pulled it off. I could

1:09:30.120 --> 1:09:33.080
<v Speaker 2>easily sit here courtside and she would catch the eye

1:09:33.120 --> 1:09:34.479
<v Speaker 2>of many professional athletes.

1:09:34.680 --> 1:09:35.639
<v Speaker 1>The girl is so bad.

1:09:35.720 --> 1:09:37.680
<v Speaker 2>She can come down the stairs with a bonnet and

1:09:37.720 --> 1:09:41.160
<v Speaker 2>the house roll on my dick and house roll on,

1:09:41.520 --> 1:09:43.360
<v Speaker 2>and my dick will instantly get hard.

1:09:43.520 --> 1:09:46.720
<v Speaker 1>He going in. Y'all get it? Your wife fine, be

1:09:46.800 --> 1:09:48.720
<v Speaker 1>getting it all right, We all got fine wires. You're

1:09:48.760 --> 1:09:52.080
<v Speaker 1>going too much. Do you know how he's still going on?

1:09:52.160 --> 1:09:53.160
<v Speaker 1>How to describe his wife?

1:09:53.240 --> 1:09:56.080
<v Speaker 2>Do you know how the fresh Krispy Kreme donuts look

1:09:56.080 --> 1:09:57.400
<v Speaker 2>when you're being glazed on.

1:09:57.360 --> 1:10:02.680
<v Speaker 1>The Oh wow wow? All the conveyor belt trouble. How

1:10:02.680 --> 1:10:04.200
<v Speaker 1>did you let all of this get through here?

1:10:04.240 --> 1:10:04.439
<v Speaker 2>Bro?

1:10:08.520 --> 1:10:13.960
<v Speaker 1>You serious things? So okay? So he okay. So that's

1:10:14.360 --> 1:10:15.080
<v Speaker 1>that's what I see.

1:10:15.120 --> 1:10:16.960
<v Speaker 2>If she gives me a glimpse of a calf muscle

1:10:17.000 --> 1:10:19.240
<v Speaker 2>fresh out the shower. Not only do I get the

1:10:19.280 --> 1:10:22.680
<v Speaker 2>privilege of being married to this mahogany, majestic goddess, but

1:10:22.800 --> 1:10:25.040
<v Speaker 2>this girl has a heart with the richness and size

1:10:25.080 --> 1:10:29.280
<v Speaker 2>of Africa Nigeria. In fact, for Duke, I say that

1:10:29.400 --> 1:10:29.960
<v Speaker 2>he didn't write that.

1:10:30.000 --> 1:10:31.519
<v Speaker 1>I say that she.

1:10:31.600 --> 1:10:34.800
<v Speaker 2>Has a heart of vibranium because she's held me down

1:10:34.880 --> 1:10:37.599
<v Speaker 2>in so many ways that only a person who truly

1:10:37.640 --> 1:10:40.679
<v Speaker 2>loves someone can I have just recently completed my PhD

1:10:40.720 --> 1:10:44.479
<v Speaker 2>in nuclear medicine, and she's an intel specialist for homeland security.

1:10:44.600 --> 1:10:47.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's probably busting his money again to it.

1:10:47.840 --> 1:10:50.280
<v Speaker 2>All right, My process to getting my PhD was not

1:10:50.320 --> 1:10:53.240
<v Speaker 2>a pretty process, and financially it wasn't. I haven't been

1:10:53.280 --> 1:10:55.360
<v Speaker 2>able to contribute the way that I know she deserves,

1:10:55.400 --> 1:10:58.960
<v Speaker 2>because the schooling journey is intensive and mentally exhausting. In

1:10:59.000 --> 1:11:00.679
<v Speaker 2>the beginning, when the time some mind if my goal

1:11:00.720 --> 1:11:02.800
<v Speaker 2>wasn't favorable and people told me to let it go,

1:11:03.040 --> 1:11:05.679
<v Speaker 2>she said, Nah, bro, this is all you've talked about

1:11:05.720 --> 1:11:07.719
<v Speaker 2>since I've known you. You're going to get this doctorate

1:11:08.160 --> 1:11:10.400
<v Speaker 2>in the same vein we would be out to eating

1:11:10.439 --> 1:11:12.000
<v Speaker 2>because I couldn't have a job while I was in

1:11:12.000 --> 1:11:14.120
<v Speaker 2>school for ten plus years. She would slip me the

1:11:14.280 --> 1:11:16.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, this is a beautiful woman. She would

1:11:16.800 --> 1:11:18.920
<v Speaker 2>slip me the debit card under the table when the

1:11:19.040 --> 1:11:19.760
<v Speaker 2>check would come.

1:11:19.960 --> 1:11:20.400
<v Speaker 1>Jesus.

1:11:20.720 --> 1:11:23.439
<v Speaker 2>I cried like a baby, sitting at a restaurant in Atlanta, thinking,

1:11:23.760 --> 1:11:26.599
<v Speaker 2>why would someone be so beautiful who could effortlessly get

1:11:27.120 --> 1:11:29.400
<v Speaker 2>a seven figure nigga with her smile do this for me?

1:11:30.040 --> 1:11:32.200
<v Speaker 2>Here we are now, though, my sexual appetite for her

1:11:32.280 --> 1:11:34.800
<v Speaker 2>is often a point of contention because I just can't

1:11:34.840 --> 1:11:37.720
<v Speaker 2>get enough. I struggled with porn during the first couple

1:11:37.840 --> 1:11:39.880
<v Speaker 2>years of our marriage, but I prayed for release from

1:11:39.880 --> 1:11:41.920
<v Speaker 2>that because I didn't like the control that took over me.

1:11:41.960 --> 1:11:46.080
<v Speaker 2>Since twenty eighteen, I hadn't touched it. I no longer

1:11:46.120 --> 1:11:48.599
<v Speaker 2>have to clear the browsing history off my laptop. Everybody

1:11:48.640 --> 1:11:51.000
<v Speaker 2>knows about that when company comes over.

1:11:51.360 --> 1:11:51.759
<v Speaker 1>Lol.

1:11:52.000 --> 1:11:54.160
<v Speaker 2>The problem is I often feel like a weirdo because

1:11:54.160 --> 1:11:56.120
<v Speaker 2>I want sex so much from my wife. I do too,

1:11:56.160 --> 1:11:58.080
<v Speaker 2>trust me, I know, but I know it's not on

1:11:58.120 --> 1:11:59.200
<v Speaker 2>her mind like it is mine.

1:11:59.240 --> 1:11:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Mine isn't either.

1:12:00.479 --> 1:12:03.479
<v Speaker 2>There has unequivalently been zero infidelity in our marriage. But

1:12:03.520 --> 1:12:05.639
<v Speaker 2>I am afraid that if we keep going the way

1:12:05.680 --> 1:12:08.640
<v Speaker 2>we are, I may break like I'm a catch to

1:12:09.479 --> 1:12:11.400
<v Speaker 2>just not a twelve out of ten like she is

1:12:11.520 --> 1:12:13.719
<v Speaker 2>maybe eight eight point five, but all.

1:12:13.520 --> 1:12:17.080
<v Speaker 1>My side teeth. Wait, but I got all my side teeth.

1:12:17.120 --> 1:12:20.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm six to one, consistent, four pack abs, natural hairline,

1:12:20.560 --> 1:12:22.200
<v Speaker 2>and older women in my network make.

1:12:22.120 --> 1:12:23.479
<v Speaker 1>Advances from time to time.

1:12:23.840 --> 1:12:27.479
<v Speaker 2>He talking like a nuclear physicist, like they can since

1:12:27.800 --> 1:12:31.040
<v Speaker 2>when the dick ain't been getting sucked exact.

1:12:32.479 --> 1:12:34.600
<v Speaker 1>This is hilarious. It's hilarious.

1:12:34.720 --> 1:12:37.160
<v Speaker 2>It ain't goes like my wife hates sucking dick and

1:12:37.240 --> 1:12:38.920
<v Speaker 2>I love to be a pussy, and I think she

1:12:38.920 --> 1:12:40.559
<v Speaker 2>doesn't even like getting ate out.

1:12:41.439 --> 1:12:43.680
<v Speaker 1>I tell her I'm gonna let you. I'm'a let you.

1:12:43.680 --> 1:12:45.920
<v Speaker 2>Sit on my face when I get home, or make

1:12:45.960 --> 1:12:48.400
<v Speaker 2>a general advance, and I can immediately feel in sense

1:12:48.800 --> 1:12:51.880
<v Speaker 2>She's like weirded out and arguments then ensue. I try

1:12:51.880 --> 1:12:54.200
<v Speaker 2>to explain to her that I can't help that I'm

1:12:54.200 --> 1:12:57.519
<v Speaker 2>infatuated with her and only her. Our last argument about

1:12:57.560 --> 1:12:59.800
<v Speaker 2>sex ended with her letting me know that most of

1:12:59.800 --> 1:13:01.840
<v Speaker 2>the time when we do have sex, she actually doesn't

1:13:01.840 --> 1:13:05.280
<v Speaker 2>want to. She just does it to make me happy, Bro,

1:13:05.680 --> 1:13:07.919
<v Speaker 2>that's the worst because I don't.

1:13:08.760 --> 1:13:14.160
<v Speaker 1>Y'all y'all larious beautiful.

1:13:14.160 --> 1:13:15.920
<v Speaker 2>That's the worst because I don't want her to do

1:13:15.960 --> 1:13:18.679
<v Speaker 2>it out of guilt or obligation. She made a statement

1:13:18.720 --> 1:13:21.360
<v Speaker 2>along the lines that my expectations are for her to

1:13:21.400 --> 1:13:23.360
<v Speaker 2>be a porn star, and that was a low blow

1:13:23.400 --> 1:13:25.920
<v Speaker 2>because I worked my ass off to lose that addiction and.

1:13:25.920 --> 1:13:27.599
<v Speaker 1>Been cleaned since twenty eighteen.

1:13:27.640 --> 1:13:30.200
<v Speaker 2>On that, bro, I don't think one is sex ten

1:13:30.240 --> 1:13:32.960
<v Speaker 2>times a month and willing to settle for hand jobs.

1:13:33.040 --> 1:13:36.439
<v Speaker 1>Is porn star? Ask a porn star esque like damn.

1:13:36.800 --> 1:13:39.240
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes when she's on her cycle, I won't let her

1:13:39.320 --> 1:13:40.360
<v Speaker 2>give me a hand job.

1:13:40.280 --> 1:13:41.960
<v Speaker 1>Considering the pain and cramps and stuff.

1:13:42.200 --> 1:13:43.920
<v Speaker 2>I feel like that would be fucked up to take

1:13:43.960 --> 1:13:46.519
<v Speaker 2>pleasure while she's in pain. To be fair, she has

1:13:46.520 --> 1:13:49.400
<v Speaker 2>a traumatic pass from childhood that would have that. We've

1:13:49.400 --> 1:13:52.320
<v Speaker 2>sought professional help, and I often feel that sometimes that

1:13:52.360 --> 1:13:55.479
<v Speaker 2>past situation affects us and it's rough. Help me out

1:13:55.640 --> 1:13:59.040
<v Speaker 2>because I got nes bro, cheating ain't an option, and

1:13:59.080 --> 1:14:02.320
<v Speaker 2>I love her to life that.

1:14:04.960 --> 1:14:06.679
<v Speaker 1>I got anxiety super layer.

1:14:07.000 --> 1:14:11.960
<v Speaker 3>So it started off beautiful, man, My initial thought is

1:14:12.040 --> 1:14:17.360
<v Speaker 3>off the top is before you even said she had trauma.

1:14:17.880 --> 1:14:19.960
<v Speaker 3>I was already leaning there. I'm like, there's got to

1:14:19.960 --> 1:14:22.639
<v Speaker 3>be something. There has to be something in her past

1:14:23.120 --> 1:14:24.920
<v Speaker 3>for her not to be connected with him like this.

1:14:25.600 --> 1:14:27.479
<v Speaker 3>To me, it sounds like it's clear that she's not

1:14:27.600 --> 1:14:30.599
<v Speaker 3>over it, you know what I mean, And although they

1:14:30.960 --> 1:14:33.920
<v Speaker 3>went to seek counsel for it, maybe it's something that

1:14:33.960 --> 1:14:37.120
<v Speaker 3>they haven't actually fully made it through, you know.

1:14:37.400 --> 1:14:39.960
<v Speaker 1>So on top of that, though, like.

1:14:41.479 --> 1:14:44.320
<v Speaker 3>It's clear that he's talking, he's voicing his opinion to

1:14:44.360 --> 1:14:47.599
<v Speaker 3>his woman. But maybe he needs to change the setting

1:14:47.640 --> 1:14:49.600
<v Speaker 3>and where he's telling her at. Maybe he needs to

1:14:49.640 --> 1:14:53.559
<v Speaker 3>change up the environment. Maybe it's maybe it's it's it's

1:14:53.600 --> 1:14:55.439
<v Speaker 3>triggering to her where he's telling her at.

1:14:55.479 --> 1:14:57.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, let me ask a question, and this is

1:14:57.720 --> 1:15:01.240
<v Speaker 2>just me playing devil's advocate, but also just being honest.

1:15:01.680 --> 1:15:03.960
<v Speaker 2>Why does it seem like we as men always have

1:15:04.040 --> 1:15:07.080
<v Speaker 2>to jump through so many hoops when we're not the

1:15:07.080 --> 1:15:10.639
<v Speaker 2>only ones that want monogamy. Women want monogamy too, especially

1:15:10.720 --> 1:15:12.439
<v Speaker 2>from a man that they say I want that man

1:15:12.520 --> 1:15:15.479
<v Speaker 2>to be my man. Part of that monogamy means that

1:15:16.040 --> 1:15:18.840
<v Speaker 2>you want me to share all of my sexual exploits

1:15:18.880 --> 1:15:21.960
<v Speaker 2>with only you. So if I'm only supposed to share

1:15:22.000 --> 1:15:25.400
<v Speaker 2>my sexual exploits with you. Why can't you make it

1:15:25.439 --> 1:15:26.439
<v Speaker 2>a safe space for me.

1:15:26.479 --> 1:15:29.680
<v Speaker 1>To do that. Maybe she wasn't aware of what the

1:15:29.760 --> 1:15:33.600
<v Speaker 1>expectation was. That is actually a very good point, you

1:15:33.680 --> 1:15:34.080
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean.

1:15:34.160 --> 1:15:38.160
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes that happens when we haven't expressed exactly what we're

1:15:38.200 --> 1:15:40.880
<v Speaker 3>looking for or what we need. We kind of just

1:15:41.000 --> 1:15:43.719
<v Speaker 3>kept it internally and just assumed them to know because

1:15:43.720 --> 1:15:45.600
<v Speaker 3>she's the woman and I'm the man, you know what

1:15:45.640 --> 1:15:48.080
<v Speaker 3>I mean, And that's how it goes. So I would

1:15:48.080 --> 1:15:50.040
<v Speaker 3>say that's the first thing. It's just like the assumption

1:15:50.120 --> 1:15:53.640
<v Speaker 3>that she understands what I'm saying or that what my

1:15:53.760 --> 1:15:57.040
<v Speaker 3>needs are to the point, yeah, probably that when do

1:15:57.080 --> 1:16:00.080
<v Speaker 3>you have that conversation or during the dating process, like

1:16:00.080 --> 1:16:01.760
<v Speaker 3>like what does it sound like? Like hey listen, Because

1:16:01.760 --> 1:16:04.519
<v Speaker 3>he said I don't think having sex ten times a

1:16:04.560 --> 1:16:08.720
<v Speaker 3>month is porn star ResQue ten times a month would

1:16:08.760 --> 1:16:11.840
<v Speaker 3>be what two point five times a week, so maybe

1:16:11.840 --> 1:16:13.559
<v Speaker 3>two to three times a week. I would have to

1:16:13.600 --> 1:16:15.400
<v Speaker 3>agree with him and say I don't think that's porn star.

1:16:15.560 --> 1:16:17.439
<v Speaker 1>Well did he say that? I mean, what's the what's

1:16:17.479 --> 1:16:18.479
<v Speaker 1>the job situation now?

1:16:18.520 --> 1:16:22.479
<v Speaker 4>Is she's still like because that makes that makes a difference.

1:16:23.320 --> 1:16:25.920
<v Speaker 4>That makes a difference. He said something, Well, she slip me.

1:16:26.240 --> 1:16:28.519
<v Speaker 4>He was talking about all these qualities about her. Well,

1:16:28.520 --> 1:16:31.320
<v Speaker 4>maybe she's built, maybe she loves him, but that can

1:16:31.360 --> 1:16:34.840
<v Speaker 4>build resentment if you're not if you're not moving and progressing, right,

1:16:34.880 --> 1:16:35.280
<v Speaker 4>we can.

1:16:35.280 --> 1:16:36.280
<v Speaker 1>See that in acrimony.

1:16:36.320 --> 1:16:41.240
<v Speaker 4>And here's the thing, yore like arousal from a woman's standpoint,

1:16:41.280 --> 1:16:44.160
<v Speaker 4>it's not just your physical it's not just yourr good yo,

1:16:44.360 --> 1:16:45.920
<v Speaker 4>I want other guys to respect you.

1:16:47.680 --> 1:16:50.800
<v Speaker 1>Do other men respect you? You feel me? Did y'all

1:16:50.840 --> 1:16:51.160
<v Speaker 1>hear that?

1:16:51.240 --> 1:16:54.040
<v Speaker 2>But it's true though, because women will say that though

1:16:54.080 --> 1:16:55.720
<v Speaker 2>it's other men. Look at your man?

1:16:56.760 --> 1:16:57.400
<v Speaker 1>All right? Cool?

1:16:57.439 --> 1:16:59.880
<v Speaker 4>So now you're talking about all right, well I got

1:17:00.120 --> 1:17:02.240
<v Speaker 4>solid four pack, Well go get a six pack.

1:17:03.600 --> 1:17:03.960
<v Speaker 1>You got it?

1:17:04.040 --> 1:17:06.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, just like you wanted some funny though, dude,

1:17:06.520 --> 1:17:09.479
<v Speaker 2>me and my friends have the same conversation. Sometimes you

1:17:09.520 --> 1:17:11.280
<v Speaker 2>got to be better than what you think she is

1:17:11.320 --> 1:17:13.320
<v Speaker 2>your best to get the type of woman that you want.

1:17:13.360 --> 1:17:16.439
<v Speaker 2>Because he s you seeked out this supermodel chick that's

1:17:16.439 --> 1:17:17.679
<v Speaker 2>super smart who makes money.

1:17:17.680 --> 1:17:19.360
<v Speaker 4>So that's a good point for sure. And then you

1:17:19.360 --> 1:17:21.840
<v Speaker 4>you just listed off all these things. So maybe she

1:17:21.920 --> 1:17:25.519
<v Speaker 4>feels like she's settling for you, but she's gonna definitely

1:17:25.520 --> 1:17:29.240
<v Speaker 4>diminish her arousal. That's just how it is. And people

1:17:29.280 --> 1:17:31.559
<v Speaker 4>will love you through that, right, but.

1:17:31.520 --> 1:17:32.400
<v Speaker 1>Not have sex with you.

1:17:33.040 --> 1:17:38.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And he said, I don't know how I got her.

1:17:38.160 --> 1:17:39.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how I deserve her, and like we

1:17:39.960 --> 1:17:44.200
<v Speaker 3>all love our women, but you know exactly that, right,

1:17:44.560 --> 1:17:47.679
<v Speaker 3>not exactly how I got her. Also, you know that's

1:17:47.880 --> 1:17:51.120
<v Speaker 3>that's a perspective look to look at. Another perspective is

1:17:52.000 --> 1:17:57.160
<v Speaker 3>they're not speaking the same language, right, And and it's

1:17:57.240 --> 1:18:01.120
<v Speaker 3>tough because and we talk about the porn issue a lot.

1:18:01.360 --> 1:18:05.040
<v Speaker 3>Porn is very very damaging to the way that you

1:18:05.240 --> 1:18:10.360
<v Speaker 3>view affection because and porn affection is kind of like

1:18:10.439 --> 1:18:14.280
<v Speaker 3>non existent. It just shows you reaction the business, getting

1:18:14.280 --> 1:18:16.120
<v Speaker 3>too the business and how good it be when you

1:18:16.200 --> 1:18:16.880
<v Speaker 3>are in there.

1:18:17.120 --> 1:18:17.360
<v Speaker 1>Right.

1:18:17.960 --> 1:18:21.320
<v Speaker 3>So we have a I think it's known now that

1:18:21.680 --> 1:18:25.000
<v Speaker 3>women need to be stimulated mentally and emotionally before they

1:18:25.000 --> 1:18:27.400
<v Speaker 3>can even get to that physical part of like really

1:18:27.439 --> 1:18:28.639
<v Speaker 3>desiring that space.

1:18:29.600 --> 1:18:33.879
<v Speaker 1>So throughout the day and we talked.

1:18:33.680 --> 1:18:36.519
<v Speaker 3>About like warming up, warming your woman up, Like I

1:18:36.560 --> 1:18:38.040
<v Speaker 3>don't know if that exists.

1:18:38.800 --> 1:18:40.559
<v Speaker 1>This is what I said. It's layered to your point

1:18:40.640 --> 1:18:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Duke of if.

1:18:41.720 --> 1:18:43.519
<v Speaker 3>I'm sliding my man in the card, I know that

1:18:43.560 --> 1:18:45.439
<v Speaker 3>I'm the one kind of like taking care of things.

1:18:45.479 --> 1:18:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing this. It's like.

1:18:48.360 --> 1:18:52.479
<v Speaker 3>That space of stimulation isn't necessarily there. It's just not there.

1:18:52.600 --> 1:18:57.680
<v Speaker 3>It's non existent, and it's not showing up because I

1:18:57.680 --> 1:19:01.679
<v Speaker 3>couldn't imagine my girl telling me after how many years?

1:19:01.720 --> 1:19:03.960
<v Speaker 1>What was the years they've been together? Twelve years?

1:19:04.000 --> 1:19:07.760
<v Speaker 3>Twelve years? Like you know, like, nah, I'm kind of good.

1:19:08.280 --> 1:19:11.400
<v Speaker 3>I know that it's me. It's not you. It's a

1:19:11.479 --> 1:19:16.439
<v Speaker 3>me thing. So I don't know how he's approaching the habit,

1:19:16.680 --> 1:19:19.000
<v Speaker 3>the poor, the poorn addiction habit, because a lot of

1:19:19.040 --> 1:19:20.840
<v Speaker 3>times we want to act that out right and you

1:19:20.880 --> 1:19:22.439
<v Speaker 3>want to make that out and she's like, I don't know,

1:19:22.600 --> 1:19:24.360
<v Speaker 3>don't want to do that. That's what I'm trying to do.

1:19:24.439 --> 1:19:25.960
<v Speaker 3>You didn't even get me to the point to do that.

1:19:26.160 --> 1:19:29.320
<v Speaker 3>To Duke's point, the lack of respect that she may

1:19:29.360 --> 1:19:32.200
<v Speaker 3>see in him and then also see around when it

1:19:32.200 --> 1:19:36.000
<v Speaker 3>comes to other men. Matter of fact, I'm thinking about

1:19:36.000 --> 1:19:40.880
<v Speaker 3>this more. She might be the one that lack respect.

1:19:40.880 --> 1:19:42.639
<v Speaker 3>It may not even be other men, because she's sliding

1:19:42.640 --> 1:19:44.599
<v Speaker 3>the card under the table because she don't want.

1:19:44.439 --> 1:19:48.080
<v Speaker 1>To ye, yes, see that yeah.

1:19:48.560 --> 1:19:51.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So like I don't see how you slide on

1:19:51.720 --> 1:19:54.760
<v Speaker 3>the card, and it's like, all right, take me, that's fair.

1:19:54.840 --> 1:19:55.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm the masculine.

1:19:55.840 --> 1:19:59.800
<v Speaker 4>That's fair energy in your card because I still love you, yep, right,

1:20:00.240 --> 1:20:02.479
<v Speaker 4>and that's all that is. I love you, So I

1:20:02.479 --> 1:20:04.760
<v Speaker 4>want to preserve your integrity. I don't want you to

1:20:04.760 --> 1:20:05.480
<v Speaker 4>be embarrassed.

1:20:05.600 --> 1:20:05.800
<v Speaker 1>See.

1:20:05.840 --> 1:20:07.880
<v Speaker 2>I wish he would have told us where he is

1:20:07.920 --> 1:20:10.880
<v Speaker 2>financially now so that we could understand, because all he

1:20:10.880 --> 1:20:12.840
<v Speaker 2>talked about in the very beginning, he said he got

1:20:12.840 --> 1:20:15.559
<v Speaker 2>his degree, but that doesn't mean the degree translated to

1:20:15.640 --> 1:20:17.920
<v Speaker 2>making money to where he can be the one.

1:20:17.760 --> 1:20:19.000
<v Speaker 1>Now to be like, baby, I got it.

1:20:19.040 --> 1:20:21.840
<v Speaker 4>That's actually a good value, right, And like you just said,

1:20:21.880 --> 1:20:26.200
<v Speaker 4>like he's talking about like pretty much he's.

1:20:25.240 --> 1:20:28.160
<v Speaker 1>Writing like he all kicked his coverage. That's literally where

1:20:28.160 --> 1:20:28.519
<v Speaker 1>I said.

1:20:28.760 --> 1:20:31.679
<v Speaker 4>So any guy's walking around like I'll kick my coverage,

1:20:32.040 --> 1:20:35.000
<v Speaker 4>it's not like commanding that type of respect from your woman,

1:20:35.360 --> 1:20:37.719
<v Speaker 4>right You'll say, your woman's not looking up to you. Yeah,

1:20:37.800 --> 1:20:40.160
<v Speaker 4>that's going to affect you sexually, you know what I'm saying,

1:20:40.280 --> 1:20:43.240
<v Speaker 4>Especially if you're the one who always wants to have sex,

1:20:44.160 --> 1:20:46.519
<v Speaker 4>especially where she feels like, Okay, now it's a burden,

1:20:46.600 --> 1:20:47.160
<v Speaker 4>a burden to.

1:20:47.160 --> 1:20:51.040
<v Speaker 1>Me, all right. Nah, I agree with that. I agree

1:20:51.040 --> 1:20:51.360
<v Speaker 1>with that.

1:20:51.840 --> 1:20:56.040
<v Speaker 2>I hope, sir, he didn't leave his name, but I

1:20:56.080 --> 1:20:58.600
<v Speaker 2>do hope he was able to listen and will be

1:20:58.640 --> 1:21:01.679
<v Speaker 2>able to take what you guys say, because I'm always

1:21:01.680 --> 1:21:03.320
<v Speaker 2>the one on the giving end of this, like when

1:21:03.360 --> 1:21:05.960
<v Speaker 2>guys right in and then I'm told sometimes and I'm

1:21:06.000 --> 1:21:09.360
<v Speaker 2>too hard on the guys because well, everybody ain't gonna

1:21:09.360 --> 1:21:10.720
<v Speaker 2>be able to do this and make this money and

1:21:10.720 --> 1:21:12.559
<v Speaker 2>play in the NFL. And I said, what, everything ain't

1:21:12.560 --> 1:21:15.719
<v Speaker 2>about money, but everything is about how you see yourself.

1:21:16.160 --> 1:21:18.559
<v Speaker 2>And if your girl sees that you don't see yourself

1:21:18.560 --> 1:21:23.120
<v Speaker 2>in a high value, she's not going every time. And

1:21:23.200 --> 1:21:25.280
<v Speaker 2>you guys just confirmed that because all of you have

1:21:25.479 --> 1:21:27.880
<v Speaker 2>all said that in one way or another. You gotta

1:21:27.920 --> 1:21:31.560
<v Speaker 2>feel yourself in order for your girl to feel you.

1:21:31.560 --> 1:21:33.400
<v Speaker 3>You gotta feel like the prize in order for her

1:21:33.400 --> 1:21:37.000
<v Speaker 3>to understand you are one. So that you gotta feel

1:21:37.000 --> 1:21:38.920
<v Speaker 3>like the prize in order for her to understand that

1:21:39.000 --> 1:21:39.559
<v Speaker 3>you are one.

1:21:39.720 --> 1:21:43.280
<v Speaker 1>If you another.

1:21:44.800 --> 1:21:49.040
<v Speaker 2>Says men of the prize, you have to feel like

1:21:49.160 --> 1:21:49.960
<v Speaker 2>you are the prize.

1:21:49.960 --> 1:21:51.200
<v Speaker 1>For her to recognize that.

1:21:51.120 --> 1:21:53.559
<v Speaker 2>You are one and vice versa lively every day you

1:21:53.600 --> 1:21:55.840
<v Speaker 2>walked in the house and your girl told you, like, man,

1:21:55.880 --> 1:21:56.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't even deserve you.

1:21:57.479 --> 1:21:59.760
<v Speaker 3>Man, you're just such a good man. You're just I

1:21:59.760 --> 1:22:02.280
<v Speaker 3>gotta don't even know how I even got you. I'm

1:22:02.280 --> 1:22:04.760
<v Speaker 3>surprised that all the women out there that look at

1:22:04.800 --> 1:22:06.840
<v Speaker 3>you can't just get you at the drop of a hat.

1:22:06.880 --> 1:22:08.080
<v Speaker 3>You're gonna tell you that all the time. You be

1:22:08.080 --> 1:22:12.080
<v Speaker 3>looking at it, like, bro, we in this together, right, right,

1:22:12.680 --> 1:22:15.080
<v Speaker 3>you gotta have that that. I don't want to say.

1:22:15.120 --> 1:22:16.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to say self respect as if he's

1:22:16.960 --> 1:22:18.720
<v Speaker 3>lacking it, but you gotta do.

1:22:19.479 --> 1:22:20.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he do.

1:22:20.840 --> 1:22:23.240
<v Speaker 2>I do feel like he does lack of respect for himself,

1:22:23.280 --> 1:22:24.960
<v Speaker 2>even the way he wrote that letter. It's a four

1:22:25.040 --> 1:22:28.120
<v Speaker 2>page letter about how beautiful his wife is, but also

1:22:28.200 --> 1:22:29.200
<v Speaker 2>downplaying himself.

1:22:29.479 --> 1:22:30.400
<v Speaker 1>Then in a super.

1:22:30.200 --> 1:22:33.920
<v Speaker 2>Bowl looking at the lights, yes, like this the whole game,

1:22:34.080 --> 1:22:35.400
<v Speaker 2>and it's like, bruh, yeah.

1:22:35.280 --> 1:22:37.040
<v Speaker 1>You got to get in the game. That is true.

1:22:37.720 --> 1:22:39.320
<v Speaker 2>That's a good analogy because you are in the super

1:22:39.360 --> 1:22:41.040
<v Speaker 2>Bowl looking at the lights, and if you are a coach,

1:22:41.320 --> 1:22:41.720
<v Speaker 2>you like.

1:22:41.760 --> 1:22:45.600
<v Speaker 1>You're not playing. You gotta play it. Coach, won't be like,

1:22:45.720 --> 1:22:48.000
<v Speaker 1>get your ass in the back, but what you doing? So?

1:22:48.360 --> 1:22:50.559
<v Speaker 2>Nah, I appreciate that, sir. What would you say if

1:22:50.600 --> 1:22:53.280
<v Speaker 2>we wasn't here, I would have you gould add trouble.

1:22:53.720 --> 1:22:55.559
<v Speaker 2>I would have literally said the same thing, like you

1:22:55.560 --> 1:22:57.720
<v Speaker 2>gotta believe in yourself. The first thing I would have

1:22:57.720 --> 1:23:00.840
<v Speaker 2>said was, well, after you got the PhD, are you

1:23:00.920 --> 1:23:03.400
<v Speaker 2>earning enough now where you can treat your woman the

1:23:03.400 --> 1:23:04.400
<v Speaker 2>way she treated you?

1:23:05.400 --> 1:23:06.360
<v Speaker 1>If you got a four pack.

1:23:06.439 --> 1:23:08.479
<v Speaker 2>I say this to dudes all the time, get an

1:23:08.479 --> 1:23:11.320
<v Speaker 2>eight pack if your girl requires that, you need more

1:23:11.360 --> 1:23:13.720
<v Speaker 2>of this, Because we as men often require out of

1:23:13.720 --> 1:23:15.920
<v Speaker 2>our girls, don't we be the first ones to be

1:23:15.960 --> 1:23:17.720
<v Speaker 2>like I like if you get a little tighter, you

1:23:17.800 --> 1:23:19.200
<v Speaker 2>get that a little bit. We will all say we

1:23:19.320 --> 1:23:21.840
<v Speaker 2>like ass. I'm the same one telling Kay like yo

1:23:21.920 --> 1:23:23.600
<v Speaker 2>hit that squad rat twice a week, you know what

1:23:23.600 --> 1:23:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm saying. So for me, it ain't nothing for me

1:23:25.800 --> 1:23:28.320
<v Speaker 2>to tell myself like I got to eat better.

1:23:28.640 --> 1:23:30.200
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. I got a question for you.

1:23:30.439 --> 1:23:34.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And this is like us as brothers talking right

1:23:35.120 --> 1:23:37.160
<v Speaker 3>when you just said, you know, sometime I look at

1:23:37.200 --> 1:23:39.000
<v Speaker 3>my wife and I'd be like, yo, hit that squad rack.

1:23:40.080 --> 1:23:41.800
<v Speaker 3>How did you guys get to the point for you

1:23:41.880 --> 1:23:44.959
<v Speaker 3>to get to that level of critique and feel comfortable

1:23:44.960 --> 1:23:47.280
<v Speaker 3>with saying it and know that you're not attacking her,

1:23:47.520 --> 1:23:49.599
<v Speaker 3>but you know, you just you're speaking from a real

1:23:49.640 --> 1:23:50.240
<v Speaker 3>place of love.

1:23:50.680 --> 1:23:52.040
<v Speaker 2>To be honest, I think it was easy for me

1:23:52.080 --> 1:23:55.360
<v Speaker 2>because my wife was a pageant queen. Her mom is

1:23:55.439 --> 1:23:57.760
<v Speaker 2>Jamaican and her mom will pinch her side every day

1:23:57.800 --> 1:23:59.360
<v Speaker 2>of her life and be like, you're not where you

1:23:59.439 --> 1:24:01.680
<v Speaker 2>need to be. So I think she was already conditioned

1:24:01.720 --> 1:24:05.040
<v Speaker 2>to understand that that type of critique is also coming

1:24:05.040 --> 1:24:07.679
<v Speaker 2>from a place of love. Plus she's also extremely vain,

1:24:08.120 --> 1:24:10.240
<v Speaker 2>like I don't have to do much of that getting

1:24:10.280 --> 1:24:13.320
<v Speaker 2>the squad right stuff. K wakes up every morning and

1:24:13.360 --> 1:24:18.680
<v Speaker 2>she does the sideways. Everybody knows that girl to do that,

1:24:18.760 --> 1:24:20.479
<v Speaker 2>and they pull it back and they just babe what

1:24:20.560 --> 1:24:21.000
<v Speaker 2>you think.

1:24:21.320 --> 1:24:23.559
<v Speaker 1>A lot of times I have to tell her like, yo,

1:24:23.600 --> 1:24:24.920
<v Speaker 1>you relax.

1:24:25.479 --> 1:24:27.120
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying, You just had a baby,

1:24:27.520 --> 1:24:29.240
<v Speaker 2>Calm down, that she's the one that's in the gym,

1:24:29.439 --> 1:24:31.679
<v Speaker 2>Train me, train me. So for me, I just chose

1:24:31.720 --> 1:24:34.280
<v Speaker 2>a woman that I knew would appreciate herself and how

1:24:34.320 --> 1:24:36.320
<v Speaker 2>she looked enough that I wouldn't have to be the

1:24:36.400 --> 1:24:37.080
<v Speaker 2>drill sergeant.

1:24:37.600 --> 1:24:39.160
<v Speaker 1>So for me, I didn't really have to go through

1:24:39.160 --> 1:24:39.800
<v Speaker 1>that like that.

1:24:39.960 --> 1:24:43.320
<v Speaker 2>Like she she self motivates, you know, she just doesn't

1:24:43.439 --> 1:24:45.840
<v Speaker 2>like for me to train with her because then I

1:24:45.960 --> 1:24:47.840
<v Speaker 2>go and then I'm now, you're supposed to do it

1:24:47.840 --> 1:24:49.000
<v Speaker 2>like this, and then she looking at I'm like, I'm

1:24:49.000 --> 1:24:51.160
<v Speaker 2>not a football player, and I'm like, I'm not training

1:24:51.200 --> 1:24:53.479
<v Speaker 2>you like a football player. I'm just saying that I've

1:24:53.560 --> 1:24:56.320
<v Speaker 2>done this, and if you want to get more of

1:24:56.400 --> 1:24:57.680
<v Speaker 2>the group, Maximus.

1:24:57.280 --> 1:24:58.640
<v Speaker 1>You might want to turn your fee. If fuck you

1:24:58.680 --> 1:25:04.559
<v Speaker 1>the valo, Okay, well get a trainer. I can't do it.

1:25:04.680 --> 1:25:07.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm not doing it. I'm not And that's been

1:25:07.680 --> 1:25:09.439
<v Speaker 2>good for us. You know what I'm saying. We go

1:25:09.479 --> 1:25:13.479
<v Speaker 2>to the gym, you that way, I go down somebody,

1:25:16.040 --> 1:25:19.080
<v Speaker 2>Do you see any videos of me and k with me? Like, no,

1:25:19.320 --> 1:25:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm here, she's there.

1:25:21.720 --> 1:25:24.519
<v Speaker 1>That works for us. That works. That keeps us out

1:25:24.560 --> 1:25:25.439
<v Speaker 1>a lot of arguments.

1:25:26.920 --> 1:25:28.120
<v Speaker 2>If you want to be featured on one of our

1:25:28.120 --> 1:25:29.960
<v Speaker 2>listening letters, make sure you email us at that that's

1:25:29.960 --> 1:25:33.080
<v Speaker 2>advice dot com. That's d E A D A S

1:25:33.080 --> 1:25:36.559
<v Speaker 2>S A d V I C E at gmail dot com.

1:25:36.560 --> 1:25:38.679
<v Speaker 2>Now before we leave, we always finish with a moment

1:25:38.720 --> 1:25:40.839
<v Speaker 2>of truth. I mean, give each of you a minute

1:25:41.240 --> 1:25:43.719
<v Speaker 2>to say your moment of truth. My moment of truth

1:25:43.760 --> 1:25:48.599
<v Speaker 2>is very simple. As men, we have to use discernment

1:25:48.640 --> 1:25:51.160
<v Speaker 2>the same way we ask women to use discernment. If

1:25:51.200 --> 1:25:54.240
<v Speaker 2>you're looking for a woman, make sure you're looking for

1:25:54.280 --> 1:25:56.680
<v Speaker 2>a woman that wants to be monogamous, not just be

1:25:56.760 --> 1:25:58.880
<v Speaker 2>a wife, because there are two different things. You can

1:25:58.880 --> 1:26:01.160
<v Speaker 2>be a wife without being monogo but if you find

1:26:01.160 --> 1:26:04.160
<v Speaker 2>a woman that aspires to be monogamous, you have a

1:26:04.160 --> 1:26:06.240
<v Speaker 2>better opportunity to find someone that's gonna be your soulmate

1:26:06.360 --> 1:26:06.599
<v Speaker 2>like you.

1:26:07.720 --> 1:26:10.879
<v Speaker 1>That's my moment of truth. Bow, go ahead, go ahead.

1:26:11.040 --> 1:26:14.559
<v Speaker 4>Hey, so moment of truth. Okay, So you can as

1:26:14.560 --> 1:26:18.320
<v Speaker 4>a man, you can create the exact relationship that you

1:26:18.360 --> 1:26:20.640
<v Speaker 4>want to create, all right, And it comes down to you.

1:26:21.080 --> 1:26:25.080
<v Speaker 4>It's no one else's responsibility to make you handsome. There's

1:26:25.080 --> 1:26:28.480
<v Speaker 4>no one else's responsibility to make you successful. Talk about intelligence,

1:26:28.520 --> 1:26:31.280
<v Speaker 4>all right. Anything you want to create, you can create.

1:26:31.439 --> 1:26:35.320
<v Speaker 4>It's your decision to choose women and have discernment, and

1:26:35.760 --> 1:26:37.639
<v Speaker 4>you know, pick the right type of women that align

1:26:37.680 --> 1:26:40.320
<v Speaker 4>with your morals and values. All right, Stop getting out

1:26:40.360 --> 1:26:44.200
<v Speaker 4>here and complaining about women, all right, Shut up, stop

1:26:44.240 --> 1:26:45.240
<v Speaker 4>complaining about women.

1:26:45.439 --> 1:26:46.559
<v Speaker 1>Just be better, all right.

1:26:46.600 --> 1:26:49.240
<v Speaker 4>When you just become better and make yourself the best

1:26:49.240 --> 1:26:52.080
<v Speaker 4>you can make yourself, all right, you become desirable and

1:26:52.120 --> 1:26:54.519
<v Speaker 4>when you come, when you become your ultimate self, bro,

1:26:54.840 --> 1:26:58.439
<v Speaker 4>you can pick and have any women, any woman you want.

1:26:58.640 --> 1:26:58.920
<v Speaker 1>All right.

1:26:59.000 --> 1:27:02.240
<v Speaker 4>So it's a very bulletproof way of thinking about things.

1:27:02.520 --> 1:27:04.559
<v Speaker 4>Don't be complaining, Just get better.

1:27:05.439 --> 1:27:09.160
<v Speaker 3>Moment of truth, fellas, we gotta be honest. If we

1:27:09.200 --> 1:27:11.760
<v Speaker 3>need help, we gotta see counsel. If you need to

1:27:11.800 --> 1:27:16.400
<v Speaker 3>be if you what, excuse me, we gotta see wise counsel.

1:27:16.479 --> 1:27:19.800
<v Speaker 3>If you know you need to remove yourself from certain

1:27:19.840 --> 1:27:22.960
<v Speaker 3>situations because you found you feel like you fall to

1:27:23.040 --> 1:27:25.320
<v Speaker 3>victim to certain things in those in those moments, then

1:27:25.360 --> 1:27:27.640
<v Speaker 3>you need to avoid those type of situations, and you

1:27:27.680 --> 1:27:29.840
<v Speaker 3>gotta be honest with yourself about that. If you know

1:27:29.920 --> 1:27:32.120
<v Speaker 3>that you need to do more self work, you gotta

1:27:32.160 --> 1:27:33.920
<v Speaker 3>be honest with yourself about that. You need to look

1:27:33.960 --> 1:27:37.240
<v Speaker 3>yourself in the mirror and demand the highest out of yourself.

1:27:37.240 --> 1:27:39.639
<v Speaker 3>You can't expect your brothers to demand it out of you,

1:27:39.640 --> 1:27:42.880
<v Speaker 3>your mother, your girlfriend, your wife, you gotta demand that

1:27:42.920 --> 1:27:44.960
<v Speaker 3>out of yourself. But it's first, It's got to start

1:27:44.960 --> 1:27:46.320
<v Speaker 3>with you being honest with yourself.

1:27:47.200 --> 1:27:48.200
<v Speaker 1>Moment of truth.

1:27:48.240 --> 1:27:50.240
<v Speaker 3>I got it, now you got it, got it, Let's

1:27:50.240 --> 1:27:55.920
<v Speaker 3>get money. Moment of truth. Monogamy is a choice. Monogamy

1:27:56.160 --> 1:27:58.960
<v Speaker 3>is not a lifetime choice that you say, heyo, I'm

1:27:58.960 --> 1:28:01.280
<v Speaker 3>gonna think about it once and I'm going to establish it.

1:28:01.760 --> 1:28:05.280
<v Speaker 3>Monogamy is a day to day, moment to moment, minute

1:28:05.320 --> 1:28:09.800
<v Speaker 3>to minute choice. Monogamy is understanding who you are when

1:28:09.840 --> 1:28:13.560
<v Speaker 3>you are in the most treacherous of positions. Monogamy is

1:28:13.640 --> 1:28:16.479
<v Speaker 3>understanding who you are when things are good and bad.

1:28:17.040 --> 1:28:20.040
<v Speaker 3>Monogamy is a decision that you're making, not off of

1:28:20.080 --> 1:28:23.120
<v Speaker 3>somebody else's actions, but off of your decisions and your

1:28:23.160 --> 1:28:27.280
<v Speaker 3>thoughts and your convictions. Monogamy is a choice that is

1:28:27.360 --> 1:28:29.479
<v Speaker 3>my moment of truth. And I'm not gonna cheat just

1:28:29.479 --> 1:28:32.599
<v Speaker 3>because my partner cheated. It's a choice that I made.

1:28:33.320 --> 1:28:35.720
<v Speaker 3>So I think people feel like you're gonna magically wake

1:28:35.800 --> 1:28:37.840
<v Speaker 3>up and be monogamous because that's what you see and

1:28:37.880 --> 1:28:40.759
<v Speaker 3>your parents do, and you've seen other good couples do. No,

1:28:41.000 --> 1:28:44.519
<v Speaker 3>you have to choose monogamy, gentlemen, I want to thank

1:28:44.560 --> 1:28:47.559
<v Speaker 3>y'all nice and neat podcast. Please, each one of y'all

1:28:47.640 --> 1:28:50.280
<v Speaker 3>say your name, say your Instagram handles where we can

1:28:50.320 --> 1:28:50.800
<v Speaker 3>find y'all.

1:28:51.200 --> 1:28:53.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, man, my name is Duke Ihanacho. You can find

1:28:53.800 --> 1:28:55.639
<v Speaker 4>me at Duke right. I don't know how I got

1:28:55.640 --> 1:29:00.360
<v Speaker 4>the name, but you know that's crazy, very simple on

1:29:00.439 --> 1:29:03.599
<v Speaker 4>Duke Universities under the back for it right, It's Duke

1:29:03.760 --> 1:29:06.639
<v Speaker 4>at d u k E. And yeah, it's been a pleasure.

1:29:06.640 --> 1:29:08.960
<v Speaker 1>Bro. My name is Omar Bolden.

1:29:09.000 --> 1:29:11.160
<v Speaker 3>You can find me on all platforms at Omar dot

1:29:11.200 --> 1:29:14.880
<v Speaker 3>Bolden and your devo. Bro, thank you for giving us

1:29:14.880 --> 1:29:19.320
<v Speaker 3>this opportunity to connect to builds and to share the platform. Yes, sir,

1:29:19.760 --> 1:29:24.120
<v Speaker 3>my name is Jalan Webster. You can find me at

1:29:24.520 --> 1:29:27.479
<v Speaker 3>just dot jeln j A l O N. I was

1:29:27.520 --> 1:29:30.680
<v Speaker 3>trying to get at Jalan but I couldn't get it,

1:29:30.680 --> 1:29:32.240
<v Speaker 3>so it's just dot jelan.

1:29:32.880 --> 1:29:37.840
<v Speaker 1>Thanks de Val. Appreciate you. I had to give you

1:29:41.120 --> 1:29:41.920
<v Speaker 1>real thank you man.

1:29:42.000 --> 1:29:45.360
<v Speaker 3>We really appreciate you and the time that we spent

1:29:45.439 --> 1:29:47.519
<v Speaker 3>and feel like just really kicking it with one of us.

1:29:48.560 --> 1:29:50.360
<v Speaker 1>We love your platform, We love what you and your

1:29:50.360 --> 1:29:50.880
<v Speaker 1>wife are doing.

1:29:50.880 --> 1:29:55.760
<v Speaker 3>And keep spreading this positivity and continue to help relationships

1:29:55.840 --> 1:29:56.360
<v Speaker 3>be cool.

1:29:57.120 --> 1:29:59.200
<v Speaker 1>Yes, sir, thank you, No, I appreciate y'all.

1:29:59.280 --> 1:30:03.559
<v Speaker 2>Let make sure you on patreonicy exclusive Deadass podcast video content,

1:30:03.760 --> 1:30:05.120
<v Speaker 2>and find us on social media.

1:30:05.160 --> 1:30:06.400
<v Speaker 1>That's dead Ass the podcast.

1:30:06.680 --> 1:30:09.040
<v Speaker 2>Kadeen is my wife known as Kadeen, I am and

1:30:09.120 --> 1:30:11.800
<v Speaker 2>I Am Devout, and if you're listening on Apple podcasts.

1:30:11.560 --> 1:30:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Be sure to rate, review, and subscribe dead Ass y'all.

1:30:17.880 --> 1:30:23.360
<v Speaker 2>Cut dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network

1:30:23.400 --> 1:30:26.600
<v Speaker 2>and its produced by Donor Opinya and Triple. Follow the

1:30:26.600 --> 1:30:29.439
<v Speaker 2>podcast on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and

1:30:29.520 --> 1:30:30.439
<v Speaker 2>never miss a Thing