1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,240 Speaker 1: Coming up. The one and only Stacy Abrams will be 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 1: our special guest at forty six minutes after the hour. 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 4 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, 5 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 6 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,120 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 7 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read 8 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Buggle up, hold on tight, 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 1: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. 10 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: All right, thank you, nephew. My husband belongs to the streets, 11 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,840 Speaker 1: it says Dear Stephen Shirley. I am a married woman 12 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: in my mid forties and my husband is two. We've 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: been together a total of five years, and we've been 14 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,879 Speaker 1: married three years. Early on, he explained that he had 15 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: some medical issues that sometimes kept him from having sex. 16 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: When we got married, we had only had sex once, 17 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: but he had found other ways to please me. So 18 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: I was happy and our marriage was great. I hoped 19 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: and prayed that he could get his livido back and 20 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: we could have sex, have sex, you know, like a 21 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: real married couple. My husband, my hosts and prayers were 22 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,559 Speaker 1: shattered recently and I found out he had been lying 23 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,319 Speaker 1: to me for five years. I got a call from 24 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: a woman saying she has been seeing my husband for 25 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: over a year, and she found out that he has 26 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: a wife. I was curious to know if they had 27 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: been having sex, and she told me that my husband 28 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: is a beast in the bedroom and that he is 29 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: the main thing. That's the main thing that God are 30 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: so hooked on him. She told me that he is 31 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,279 Speaker 1: several girls that he messes around with, and he tells 32 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: everyone he is single. After the call, I didn't I 33 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: decided not to say anything until I could prove it 34 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: to myself. I started noticing that he keeps his phone 35 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: close to him all the time, and he works late 36 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: a lot, and he's been hanging out with his boys 37 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: on the weekend more. These were things that never stood 38 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: out before. I even drove past a woman's house one 39 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: night and saw his car there, but I still haven't 40 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: confronted him. He didn't want me sexually, but he wanted 41 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: to marry me and share his life with me. Please 42 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: help me make sense of this. I love him and 43 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: I don't want to end my marriage, but this is 44 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 1: a major blow to my self esteem? What's wrong with me? 45 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: How should I handle this? Wow? First of all, you 46 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: know what, don't blame yourself. Do not do that. I mean, 47 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: we as women seem to always blame ourselves when things 48 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: go wrong in our marriage. And that's not to say that, 49 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes we don't have something to contribute to 50 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: the fact that our marriage may be going wrong or 51 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: it may be ending. But don't be so quick to 52 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: blame yourself. Okay, there are two people in this marriage, clearly, 53 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 1: and this is an awful situation you're in. You said 54 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: you've known him for five years, you've been married for three. 55 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: Early on in the marriage, he told you that he 56 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: had medical issues and that you know, he may not 57 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: be able to perform. Did you question him at any point? 58 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: You know, if anything, you know, perhaps you could be blamed. 59 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to use that term because it's so harsh, 60 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: but because you didn't really question him. I mean, what 61 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 1: did he say his medical issues were? Was he making 62 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: moves to get help, was he under a doctor's care. 63 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: I'm just a bit surprised that you didn't go more 64 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: there with him. Maybe you thought, like a lot of women, 65 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: that he would change after you guys got married. Clearly 66 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: that did not happen. It seems like you got less 67 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: sex after you guys got married. But when the woman called, 68 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 1: you found out that he was really, really, really not 69 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 1: giving it to you, but he was given it to 70 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: her and a whole bunch of other women according to her. 71 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: So you haven't confronted him yet. What are you holding 72 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: onto this information for? What do you think or hope 73 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: is going to happen if you don't talk to him 74 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: about it. I mean, he's cheating on you. He's not 75 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: the person he said he was the only thing maybe, 76 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: I mean, nothing about him is real. He lied Light Live, 77 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 1: Live Live. You gotta confront him at some point. You 78 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: gotta get to the truth because your whole marriage is 79 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: a sham. Your whole marriage is a sham. And I 80 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,839 Speaker 1: know you don't want to deal with this, even though 81 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: you said you know you still love him. You've fallen 82 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: into someone you think he is. That's not who he is. 83 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: You have to get to the bottom of that. You 84 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,359 Speaker 1: have to have a conversation with him. And and there's 85 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: no time like the President, Steve, I don't I don't 86 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: understand the letter. This is a this entire letter is 87 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: written by sister. I gotta tell you that you just 88 00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: in denial. This entire letter is about to Now. You've 89 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 1: been together five years, been married three He explained to 90 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: me that he had some medical issues that sometimes kept 91 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: him from having sex. Yeah, the medical issue is he 92 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: can't drive tween these houses fast enough. That's the damn 93 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: medical issue. He can't get his foot to mash on 94 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: that gas pedal and get his reflexes to time these 95 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: lights to get back to the house in all this hell. 96 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: When we got married, we only had sex once, but 97 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: he found other ways to please me. That's because he 98 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: had to save up. So I was happy I married 99 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,599 Speaker 1: his great I hoped him, prayed he would get his 100 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: libido back and we could have sex like America, real couple. Well, 101 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: you got your dream shattered. Recently you found out he's 102 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: been lying to you for five years. Got a call 103 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 1: from this lady says she's been seeing your husband for 104 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: over a year, and she finally found out that he 105 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: got a wife. Then I did see this the woman 106 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: in you now, and I understand I was curious to 107 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: know if they had been having sex. She sex hel 108 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: base say that against having such just I'm slave load. Wow, captured, 109 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: can't go we quarantine load. Huh, Well, well I finished 110 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: the letter. When we come back, it ain't gonna be good. Nah. 111 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: All right, you heard. I'm Steve. We'll have part two 112 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,239 Speaker 1: of your response coming up at twenty three minutes after 113 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:48,479 Speaker 1: the hour. Subject of today's strawberry letter, my husband belongs 114 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 1: to the streets. We'll get back into it right after this. 115 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: You're listening show, All right, Steve, come on, let's recap 116 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter. My husband belongs to the streets. The 117 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: end of the letter says, please help me make sense 118 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: of this. I love him, I don't want to end 119 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 1: my marriage, but this is a major blow to myself esteem. 120 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: What's wrong with me? How should I handle this? Well, 121 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: first of all, let's get out of denial. Your husband 122 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: lied to you about having a libido problem. So before 123 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: y'all got married, he only got married, y'all only had 124 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: sex once, and he moved in. But he found other 125 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: ways to pleasure you, and he knew he could and 126 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: that would satisfy you. You were hoping he'd get his 127 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: libido back, like it's a magic trick or something and 128 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: he can get it back. Well, he didn't need it 129 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: back because he was using it all over town. So 130 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,239 Speaker 1: you gotta call from this lady saying she'd been seeing 131 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: your husband for a year, finally found out he had 132 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: a wife. Then you was geious to know if they 133 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: had been having sex? What what? I ain't gonna at 134 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: whatever you've been you seeing my husband? Are y'all having 135 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: set here brief dropping the hard and bridge, bringing water 136 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: the wall, knocking lamps off to stand, come and get it, 137 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: Come and get it, don't stop bringing with it anyway, 138 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: and said that's the main thing that got us so 139 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: hooked on him. And then she told him that he 140 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: got super girlfriends that he messed around with, and he 141 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: tell everybody he's single. And then he wouldn't let it 142 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:48,079 Speaker 1: get real cloudy. After the call, I decided not to 143 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 1: say nothing. Are you black? This cannot best? He cannot 144 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: be said. After the phone call, I decided not to 145 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: saying that. All the reason her sister ain't saying that 146 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: as she's busy loading the rifle. Other than that they 147 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 1: got something for you. I decided not to say nothing 148 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: and to get this next line until I could prove 149 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: it to myself. Wait a minute, I'm trying to what 150 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: does that mean. I decided not to say nothing until 151 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 1: I could prove it to myself. But you already got 152 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:31,719 Speaker 1: to prove because listen to this. I started noticing that 153 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: he keeps his phone close to him all the time, 154 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: didn't I tell you at the top of the letter, 155 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: this is a letter about Denile. He keep his phone 156 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,200 Speaker 1: close to him all the time. He works late a lot, 157 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 1: but y'all ain't got no more damn money. Though he 158 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 1: worked later a lot, but it ain't no more damn money. 159 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: He's been hanging out with his boys on the week end. 160 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: More his boys. What ain't women that y'all said? You're 161 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: in your forties. All my boys got women. They can't 162 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 1: hang out all the damn time. He's been hanging out 163 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,719 Speaker 1: with his boys. There were things that never stood out 164 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,839 Speaker 1: before because you was in denial. He'd been doing this 165 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: the whole time. He's been hanging out with his boys. 166 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: He's been he'd been working late. He'd been keeping that 167 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,839 Speaker 1: phone strapped to his thigh. He'd been doing this the 168 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: whole time. You never noticed it. To that lady call here. 169 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,079 Speaker 1: I even drove past the woman's house one night and 170 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 1: saw his car there, and he could drive his car 171 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: after that. Right, Yeah, wait a minute, what the police 172 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: ain't get involved this point, ain't Nobody had to call himboy, 173 00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:00,959 Speaker 1: I ain't. Nobody wanted to get busted out, right, But 174 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 1: I still haven't confronted him. The car was in the driveway. 175 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: I'm saying he didn't want me sexually teaching car. He 176 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: didn't want me sexually, but he wanted to marry me 177 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: and share his life with me. Na. He needed a 178 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: home base, hellone. He needed a place to set up 179 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: his operation. Sister, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to break this too. 180 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: He's a dog ass dude. He needed one woman who 181 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 1: would let him freely hang out with his boys, say 182 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: he working late, walk around with his phone on him 183 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,719 Speaker 1: and all his hill and and all of this head 184 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: and have all these women and believe that he had 185 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: a libido problem. He needed that so then he could 186 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: have a home base to set up his operation from. 187 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,839 Speaker 1: And you happen to be it. And you and you're 188 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: probably a really really great woman, a really really good woman. 189 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 1: You've just been taking advantage of him. Please help me 190 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: make sense of this. There is no sense to this. 191 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:05,199 Speaker 1: Your dude is a dog. Now here's the part that 192 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to come to terms with I love 193 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,839 Speaker 1: him and I don't want to end my marriage. Let me, 194 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 1: let me help you understand. So you do not have 195 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:19,040 Speaker 1: a marriage. You're married to him, but he's not married 196 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: to you in any way sexually, financially, commitment wise, nothing. 197 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: He's not married to you. Now, your marriage been over with, 198 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: but this is a major blow him up. What's wrong 199 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 1: with me? Get out of denial, pick yourself up, realize 200 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: that this is not your fault and you have every 201 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 1: right to move on with your life. Wow, he's not 202 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: gonna change. Poster comments Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey 203 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry 204 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand now coming up at forty six 205 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. She is here. It's time to 206 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: get serious. Democrat Paula Petitian Stacy Abrams will be our 207 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: special guest. Right after this, you're listening to the Steve 208 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,440 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.