1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. 2 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,959 Speaker 2: Wellcome stuff. I've never told you a production of iHeartRadio. 3 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 3: And as we're closing out twenty twenty four, there's a 4 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 3: lot of gathering seeing of people that happens at the 5 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 3: end of the year. And I have to say I've 6 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 3: noticed one question. I get a lot when I go 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,839 Speaker 3: home and people find out I'm on podcast is about 8 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 3: extroverts and introverts and ambiverts and just the science of it. 9 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 3: I find it like every time I go home, it 10 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 3: somehow comes up. 11 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 2: Really yeah, I know. 12 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 3: I think it's because almost everyone I know when I 13 00:00:55,480 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 3: go home is an introvert, but I'm an extrovert, and 14 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 3: there's been an interesting shift of it. Seems they're craving 15 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 3: going out more than I am. It's like I'm like, 16 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 3: I finally get to stay in. And because being an 17 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 3: extrovert means you just do something new, new stimulus, so 18 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 3: it comes up a lot. Actually interesting, I know, uh, 19 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 3: and people are always asking me about like the definitions 20 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 3: of it. I guess maybe this it came up and 21 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 3: people know I've done and we've done an episode on it, 22 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 3: so it comes up in conversation a lot, and people 23 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 3: are really interested in knowing the science of it, because 24 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 3: I think when you are hanging out with a lot 25 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 3: of people during the holidays, you're kind of curious about 26 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 3: why you feel the way you feel. And it is interesting, 27 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 3: It is really interesting. 28 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: It is interesting. Annie. 29 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 4: I would like to say, I think my partner took 30 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 4: the perfect picture of my style of socializing, which is 31 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 4: literally me under a blanket next to my dog and 32 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 4: all you can see is my dog in this tall blanket. 33 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 4: So I like being social without being social. What is 34 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 4: that called? 35 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 3: You know, they should really like update this because I 36 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 3: remember I took I talk about it in here, but 37 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,239 Speaker 3: during the pandemic, I was like, maybe I'm not an 38 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 3: extrovert and I took the like official test and it 39 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 3: was like, no one, you were an extrovert. 40 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: I mean the word ambient art was not widely used 41 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: until more recently. 42 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 4: I know we talked a little bit about that as well, 43 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 4: and I think there have been spectrum levels of this 44 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 4: and we probably should do a revisit because there has 45 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 4: been new conversations, especially after the pandemic. 46 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,239 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, we should come back and revisit because we 47 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 3: were doing this during I think the early days at 48 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 3: the pandemic, but I'm I would be very curious to 49 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 3: know if anything new has come out about it, because 50 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 3: clearly people are interested. 51 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 2: Every time I go. 52 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:11,799 Speaker 3: Home, someone asked me about it. So for a later date, 53 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 3: but in the meantime, please enjoy this classic episode. 54 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 2: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff. 55 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 3: IM never told you a production of iHeartRadio. Today we're 56 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 3: going to talk about something that has been coming up 57 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 3: a lot during these are quarantine times, which is extroversion 58 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 3: versus introversion, extroverts versus introverts. And I'm sure we've all 59 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 3: seen the memes and jokes about being told to stay 60 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 3: in for quarantine is an introverts dream apart from the 61 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 3: unending anxiety of a pandemic, right, and about how introverts 62 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,680 Speaker 3: have been preparing. 63 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 2: For this their whole lives. 64 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 3: Haha, extroverts, look at you panicking about having to stay 65 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 3: in And these are definitely over simplifications. Most of us 66 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 3: need a healthy dose of downtime and socializing. But we 67 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 3: thought we would unpack some of this and especially how 68 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 3: it pertains to women. So how would you classify yourself, Samantha. 69 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 4: Honestly, I originally I would have said, an introvert completely, 70 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 4: because I am absolutely that person who gets zapped very 71 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 4: quickly in a crowd of people, and even before coming in, 72 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 4: I automatically panic if there's more than five. So but 73 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 4: after this research, I feel like it changed with my 74 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 4: age as well as with what's happening right now. Not 75 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 4: that my personalities changed, but even like my understanding of 76 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 4: my personality is kind of changed. 77 00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:58,919 Speaker 1: What about you? 78 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 2: Interesting? 79 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to say one, I feel very judged 80 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 3: doing this research, thank you. I am definitely an extrovert. 81 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 3: Every I've taken the personality test and everyone I get like, 82 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 3: oh yeah, by a lot, which I honestly, I've kind 83 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 3: of surprises even me because I do a lot of 84 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 3: things that are typical introvert traits, like when it comes 85 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 3: to decision making. And we'll get more into this later. 86 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 3: I am so much an introvert, and you know, you know, 87 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 3: I love to read and like research and stay in 88 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 3: and I'm actually fine being alone. 89 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 2: I live alone. It's just that I would go out 90 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 2: all the time. 91 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 3: But right there are certainly qualities that I thought like shyness, 92 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:54,919 Speaker 3: and shyness is very often misunderstood to be synonymous with introvert. 93 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 3: And I'm actually really shy, but that it turns out 94 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 3: doing this research really does doesn't have anything to do 95 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 3: with being an introvert or an. 96 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 2: Extrovert, right. 97 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 4: I feel like I am definitely an IFP. That has 98 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 4: always been my thing, and so being an introvert through 99 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:17,280 Speaker 4: and through I have never really questioned all of that. 100 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: But you know, as you talked about being judged. 101 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 4: Right now with the research, there was definitely like I 102 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 4: feel a little more empowered with my communication skills right now. 103 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 2: Yeah. 104 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 3: It's really funny because I remember so clearly. One day 105 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 3: I was driving, I was carpooling with a bunch of 106 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 3: our coworkers for we do this big volunteer day every year. 107 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,239 Speaker 2: And I was carpooling and it was early in the morning. 108 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 3: I was just like, you know, bubbly talking because it 109 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 3: was silent, and I was trying to, you know, have 110 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 3: some kind of conversation and my friend there's like a 111 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:53,720 Speaker 3: pause and he said, so. 112 00:06:55,200 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 2: You're a morning person. Right. It's like, oh, so maybe nobody. 113 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 3: Actually wants to talk and I'm just annoying everyone. 114 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 2: And I had a moment. 115 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 3: Doing this of like realizing how many times I thought 116 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 3: I was I don't want to say helping out, but 117 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 3: I was like, silence is something that I always try 118 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 3: to fill and perhaps somebody just wanted silence. 119 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 4: Well me, To be fair, I think it's not just 120 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 4: morning person is being an extrovert. Right, I'm a grumpy 121 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 4: I'm a grumpy ass morning person, and it doesn't necessarily 122 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 4: have to do with my introvertedness. 123 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 1: Is absolutely to do to the fact that I'm. 124 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 4: Always tired, as well as the fact in the morning, 125 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 4: I'm like, why, why do things happen? 126 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: What is happening? What is to day? So, you know, 127 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: I think that's just a whole different level anyway. 128 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 4: But yeah, it definitely has those connotations of who's too talkative, 129 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 4: who isn't talkative enough? 130 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 1: And what does that mean? 131 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 4: So actually, let's talk about the what shall we Yeah, So, basically, 132 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 4: an introvert is someone who gets their energy from being alone, 133 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 4: and an extrovert. 134 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: Gets their energy from other people. 135 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 4: An external stimulations based on the way their brain is wired. 136 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 4: And that's pretty much that's pretty much. Yet our introvart's 137 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 4: more introspective. Not necessarily are they shy? 138 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 3: Not necessarily right, And some researchers put these ideas more 139 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 3: on a spectrum so you're not one or the other, 140 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 3: or those are outliers, but somewhere in between. Other research 141 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 3: suggests that extroverts are more driven by reward value, which 142 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 3: influences social behavior. So I think it's a dopamine release 143 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 3: and a lot of these reward values we can get 144 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 3: them in social situations, so it kind of pushes for 145 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 3: more social interaction. Meanwhile, one proposed model on introverts breaks 146 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:46,559 Speaker 3: introversion into four types social thinking, restrained, and anxious, and 147 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 3: most people, according to this model, are a mixture of 148 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 3: those things if they're an introvert. 149 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 4: Right, So, our modern understanding of these concepts go back 150 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 4: to the nineteen twenties and call Young, which I'm sure 151 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 4: most of you heard of. Young also described a third group, 152 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 4: which he believed to be the largest, and that were 153 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 4: sort of a mixture. Nowadays, we call that group ambiaverse, 154 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 4: and they have qualities of both introverse and extroverts, and 155 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 4: those some think ambiverts are just introverts who learn how 156 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 4: to behave like extroverts, which we'll talk. 157 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: A little bit about later on. 158 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 4: Scientists believe these differences have to do with how our 159 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 4: brains get aroused that interverse process information more quickly and 160 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 4: need less stimuli. A nineteen sixty four study with Lemon 161 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 4: jews found that introverse salivated more with just a few 162 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 4: drops of the jews compared to the extroverts. The scientists 163 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 4: concluded that this meant introverts needed less stimuli for their 164 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 4: brains to get aroused and extroverts needed more stimuli to 165 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 4: reach that same level. Since we can only process so 166 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 4: much at once, introverse turn inward to avoid feeling overwhelmed. 167 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 3: There have been so many studies and research into this. 168 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 3: I love that Lemon study. I'd never heard of that. Right, 169 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 3: that's a good one, I think. Yeah, so many books 170 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,319 Speaker 3: have been written, these ideas have been incorporated into Yes, 171 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 3: the Meyers, Briggs and the Big five personality test. Psychologists 172 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 3: have argued about how they fit into fixed mindsets, which 173 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 3: is kind of this you are who you are and 174 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 3: that's it, and growth mindsets, and that's the belief that 175 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 3: you can cultivate new behaviors in yourself with time and effort. 176 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 3: So fixed mindset is sometimes also called self as a 177 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 3: story mindset, and these are associated with lower self esteem 178 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 3: and self awareness. So if you're coming from a fixed 179 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,680 Speaker 3: mindset and you tell yourself I'm an introvert, then you 180 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 3: might become even more introverted than you actually are. This 181 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,319 Speaker 3: is actually one of the number one reasons I love 182 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 3: traveling alone because I feel like you can break out 183 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,079 Speaker 3: of those kinds of stories that people have made about 184 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 3: you and that you have cultivated for yourself. Psychologists have 185 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 3: also argued that maybe personalities are situational, meaning we change 186 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 3: and adapt much more than we think if they. 187 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 2: Exist at all. 188 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 3: And I read so much many articles about it, and 189 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 3: it was fascinating. I've never even thought about it in 190 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,439 Speaker 3: the way people were discussing it. 191 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 2: It was oh so cool. 192 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 4: So depending on the sorts, it's either an even split 193 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 4: when it comes to percentages of the population or about 194 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 4: twenty five percent introverts, or the population is about half 195 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 4: two two thirds in reverts. 196 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: So the numbers very a lot. 197 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, And twenty eighteen sarvey is conducted by Eby 198 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 4: found that fifty five percent of introverts felt anxiety after 199 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 4: getting an invite to something, compared to eighteen percent of extroverts. 200 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,680 Speaker 4: So seventy four percent of extroverts felt excited by the 201 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 4: invitation compared to forty four percent of the introverts and 202 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 4: introverts worked twice as likely to turn down an invite, 203 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 4: and introverts were twice as likely to hang out with 204 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 4: someone they know. 205 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: But there were a few things we can agree on. 206 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 4: Two thirds of all responders admitted they won't go to 207 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 4: a party without an exit plant. 208 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea personally, and. 209 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 4: Both groups were also likely to avoid bridal showers in 210 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 4: any events with babies or children. And yes, yes, I 211 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 4: am definitely one of those people. And I will say 212 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 4: it's according to the event and how many people I know. 213 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 4: But I am absolutely that person that waits to see 214 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 4: who is going to that party or event first, so 215 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 4: I will go click through every single person and who 216 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 4: they are and who's coming with them. So for me, 217 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 4: I will wait till the last possible minute to give 218 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 4: you a response, which probably infuriates many of people, but. 219 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 2: I just I have to pre prayer. 220 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: So I'm assuming Annie, are you an automatic yes person? 221 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,400 Speaker 3: Pretty much like I guess. The biggest thing actually is 222 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 3: how far do I have to drive? That's fair, But yeah, 223 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 3: like if you invite me to something, I will probably come, 224 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 3: and I even have It's sort of a fomo thing 225 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 3: where I used to feel like, well, what's going to 226 00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 3: happen if I stay in? 227 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:00,920 Speaker 2: But what could have and if I go out? 228 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 3: But I've had to anti proof some events because I'm like, 229 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 3: I don't know this person well enough to be as 230 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 3: you know, Samantham frequently the last person to leave, so 231 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 3: I have to like set an alarm on my phone, 232 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 3: like okay, you should go. 233 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 4: Now, and you and I close enough, I'm like, okay, 234 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 4: I'm going to go to sleep now. 235 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll just kick me out, which is great. 236 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 4: Usually I'm like you can stay, you can stay as 237 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,559 Speaker 4: long as you want, but I'm going to go to sleep. 238 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 3: Right just what I need because otherwise I will stay. 239 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 3: So yeah, I do, like I do take a kind 240 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,839 Speaker 3: of survey of what kind of party I think it's 241 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 3: going to be, like how many people do I know? 242 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 2: But I'll probably be there if you invited me. 243 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 244 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 3: Another survey found that extroverts have more sex than introverts, 245 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 3: but it was self reported so should be taken with 246 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,520 Speaker 3: a grain of salt. Some research also suggests that extroverts 247 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 3: are happier, and there are a lot of theories as 248 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 3: to why that might be from the world being set 249 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 3: up for and more accepting of extroverts. The whole cultural 250 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 3: personality thing. We're going to get into this more, but yeah, 251 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 3: in a lot of ways, our culture and like even 252 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 3: work is set up for extroverts, and if you're trying 253 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 3: to fit into that, that can lead to a lot 254 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 3: of feelings of failure. And there's also science that found 255 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 3: simply acting happier, like smiling thinks us happier doing those 256 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 3: kinds of things, and if you're an extrovert, you're probably 257 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 3: doing that more often. So maybe it's that I feel 258 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 3: like happiness is a hard thing to quantify, but right, And. 259 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 4: I think the phrase fake it to you make it 260 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 4: is definitely a part of that as well. So there's 261 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 4: been a lot of the studies into sex and age 262 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 4: differences and extraversion and introversion, which is very fascinating in itself, 263 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 4: and many of them show that introversion is more common 264 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 4: among women and that levels of introversion go up with age, 265 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 4: which I could say I have more confidence in being 266 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,280 Speaker 4: at home and staying at home, and we're not just 267 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 4: being introverted, so it's more of I'm able to say 268 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 4: no now and I'm able to be like, nah, I'm 269 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 4: tired and not feel ashamed of I'm tired of people. 270 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 4: So I feel like, yes, I could be the age thing, 271 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 4: but it could be just the I'm more in set 272 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 4: into my personality and more confident in saying no. 273 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 2: Yeah. 274 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 1: But again, this is the whole back to. 275 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 4: Introvertse trying to keep up with extroverts as well. I 276 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 4: think at a younger age or just in general, you 277 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 4: want to try to again act as if you're personable, 278 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 4: and you have this dread of not being friendly enough, 279 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 4: outgoing enough. 280 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: So part of that is pretending to want. 281 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 4: To be at these places, so when you get older 282 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 4: you just don't care anymore. 283 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: That's where I feel like I'm mad. 284 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, I'm aging nicely to be able to 285 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 4: say hell nah. So Fridays yeah, and Fridays to me 286 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 4: is no longer let's hang in party. It's the soft 287 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 4: pants and bench watching alone party, and I look forward 288 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 4: to it. 289 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 1: Well. 290 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 4: Of course, now that we're in this quarantine, life is 291 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 4: a little different, but before it was absolutely like, yeah, 292 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 4: this is this is what I want, this is what 293 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 4: I look forward to. 294 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 2: It is funny. 295 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 3: I'm glad you brought this up because I when I 296 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 3: was trying to think of my own motivations for things. 297 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 3: It's really hard to separate out, like what is your 298 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 3: brain chemistry? And then what is something that's just like 299 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 3: like for me. I know I've talked about it before, 300 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 3: but when I get anxious, I plan and it's a 301 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 3: way of like not thinking about whatever it is I'm 302 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 3: anxious about. And so people used to ask me, like, 303 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 3: were you drunk when you invited me to that thing? 304 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, nope, I was probably. 305 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 3: Panicking and I was just trying not to, like I 306 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 3: had to keep my schedule so busy. And it's hard 307 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:40,920 Speaker 3: to say if that's extraversion or like some weird PTSD thing. 308 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 3: There's just so many factors, right, and it's hard to 309 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 3: separate it out. And finding out like that women are 310 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 3: more introverted, Like there's a higher percentage of women. I 311 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 3: feel like introversion is more accepted among men when you 312 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 3: think about like the strong and silent type or the 313 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 3: stoic type, or the sitcom husband who reads the paper 314 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,400 Speaker 3: while his wife just talks away and he just wants 315 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 3: to be left alone, whereas introverted women are often labeled 316 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 3: as depressed or a spinster. 317 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 2: Although I will say I was thinking like. 318 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 3: Les Lemon from thirty Rock did a lot for the 319 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,359 Speaker 3: whole to staying in and eating your night cheese or 320 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 3: whatever it is, and that got me to thinking, are 321 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 3: women conditioned to perform more traits. 322 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 2: Associated with extroversion? 323 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 3: And when I think about myself, there are definitely some 324 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 3: behaviors that I can't say for sure the force, the 325 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 3: motivating force behind them. And I think as a woman, 326 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 3: I do feel a lot of pressure to make people 327 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 3: happy and to if you invite me to do a thing, 328 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 3: I'm going to show up and I'm going to make 329 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 3: sure it's a fun time. And I do think some 330 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 3: of that is societal conditioning. So it's hard to say 331 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 3: for sure, right human beings are complicated. 332 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 4: Well, I mean, I think that also plays into the 333 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 4: societal idea of women being host and hostesses and so there. 334 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 4: I definitely remember in college people loved when I would 335 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 4: take in charge of a party and trying to plan 336 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,360 Speaker 4: things and organize things and make sure everybody's happy, all 337 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 4: of these which by the way, makes me panic, makes me. 338 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 1: Have an anxiety attack. I actually hate it. 339 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 4: I hate large gatherings that I'm in charge of because 340 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,040 Speaker 4: the entire time I'm so unhappy and trying to figure 341 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 4: out if this person is unhappy, how do I make 342 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 4: this better? Oh my god, this person's not talking, they're 343 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 4: having you know, all of these levels. But I think 344 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 4: that's part of the being the perfect quote unquote woman 345 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,400 Speaker 4: of the house, whether it's you're a mother and you're 346 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,439 Speaker 4: hosting a party, or you're someone's wife and you're hosting 347 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 4: a benefit for them. 348 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 1: You know, you see it. 349 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 4: We've talked about it before in the political roles when 350 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,399 Speaker 4: wives of candidates are shown as being the perfect pristine 351 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 4: people who are friendly, outgoing all of these and bubbly 352 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 4: and what does that look like? It's automatically a tuned 353 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 4: with extra version, right. 354 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,679 Speaker 3: And then on the flip side of that, and I 355 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 3: know going to discuss this more in a bit, but 356 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 3: a lot of times women are expected to be quiet, right, 357 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 3: and that is associated with introversion. So it makes me 358 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:15,920 Speaker 3: wonder these numbers how accurate they are and how can 359 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 3: we separate that out all these societal forces. But all right, 360 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 3: let's get into extroversion and extroverts. But first we're going 361 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,160 Speaker 3: to pause for a quick break for word from our sponsor, 362 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,720 Speaker 3: and we're back, Thank you sponsor. So, according to positive 363 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:52,080 Speaker 3: Psychology dot com. Extroverts are recharged by socializing and make 364 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 3: decisions quickly, speak more our outgoing, are easily distracted, action oriented, 365 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 3: gregarious and expressive, great communicat and enjoy being at the 366 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 3: center of attention. Now, as we said, not all extroverts 367 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 3: are the same, and not all will exhibit all of 368 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 3: these things. 369 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 2: Essentially, it just means. 370 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 3: What we said at the top, your energy is coming 371 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 3: from external stimuli. 372 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 4: Right, So, terms associated with extroverts chatty kathy or a 373 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,920 Speaker 4: social butterfly, flirty birdie, which, by the way, this is 374 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 4: that's a new one to me, just like oh I. 375 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,959 Speaker 2: Used to get called flirty birdie all the time. 376 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,680 Speaker 1: Why that just oh my, okay, we'll go back. We'll 377 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,160 Speaker 1: go because it's just so nonsensical of a term. 378 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:39,320 Speaker 4: Okay, keep it on people, person that I have heard charming, witty, 379 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 4: and dearing. And while these are generally viewed as good 380 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,360 Speaker 4: things that are frequently used to demean women or haha, 381 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,240 Speaker 4: minimize them, surprise, surprise, and things along the lines of airhead, ditsy, 382 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 4: the joke that you can't get women to stop talking, 383 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 4: all of. 384 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: Those ridiculous narratives. But it also can go hand in 385 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,400 Speaker 1: hand with not so great things like she's easy. 386 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, I feel like if you were having 387 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 3: to put this in the dichotomy of the Madonna and 388 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 3: the horror, the extra verts the horror for sure. 389 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 2: And like the introvert is cold. 390 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 3: Ice queen, right, and then because I just read about 391 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 3: Frozen and Elsa being an introvert, yes, there we. 392 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 4: Go, that she is the ice queen, literally the ice queen. 393 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:30,479 Speaker 3: Maybe we got it all wrong in many ways, that's 394 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,719 Speaker 3: what we were saying earlier. Society is set up to 395 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 3: favor extroverts, especially in industries that depend on relationships, being 396 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:42,440 Speaker 3: outgoing and making and deepening connections. Networking can really help 397 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 3: you land a deal or climb a corporate ladder. Extroverts 398 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,360 Speaker 3: are likelier to hold management and senior positions. One said 399 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 3: he found the number of introverts and top positions was 400 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,959 Speaker 3: as low as two percent and are likelier to promote 401 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,920 Speaker 3: other extroverts. And part of that is what is that 402 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,959 Speaker 3: that's that like buzzworthy term face time, like you got 403 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,639 Speaker 3: to put face time in at the office, and like 404 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 3: you've got to be at the social happy hours, and 405 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,879 Speaker 3: that's where a lot of these opportunities kind of come up, 406 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 3: and the extroverts are more likely to be doing those 407 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 3: things right. When it comes to the public seer, extroverted 408 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,560 Speaker 3: people do tend to dominate the scene because they're out 409 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 3: there all the time. However, this is not always the case. 410 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 3: A lot of famous introverts have I guess, kind of 411 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 3: gamed the system, like figured out how to succeed in 412 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,439 Speaker 3: this like extrovert world, I. 413 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 2: Want to say. 414 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 4: Right, so, even primary education is often structured in a 415 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 4: way that favors extraversion over introversion. And another way this 416 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 4: idea of an introvert extrovert in the workplace intersects with 417 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 4: women is that we're always being told to assert ourselves, 418 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:49,639 Speaker 4: speak up of meetings, make ourselves heard, largely extroverted qualities 419 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:54,400 Speaker 4: and you can actually even see that and open office plans. Yeah, 420 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 4: that kind of geared toward that whole interaction, you know, 421 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 4: teamward being loud, being very interactive, which and when you 422 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 4: start researching and we'll talk a little more about it. 423 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:09,440 Speaker 4: During the interversion portion is anti productive for introvertse because 424 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 4: they need that solitude to have a creative mindspace and 425 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 4: being able to work out their own creativity and or process. 426 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,639 Speaker 4: So it's very much so that whole level of what 427 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 4: is it scared. 428 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,919 Speaker 2: Toward back in the before times. 429 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,760 Speaker 3: Our office is an open space office, and you weren't 430 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,760 Speaker 3: there yet, Samantha. But when we moved in, like two 431 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 3: or three months later, we had a whole office meeting 432 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,360 Speaker 3: and it turned into an hour and a half of 433 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 3: like half the office just saying how much they in 434 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 3: open spots, open office space. 435 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 4: And I will I would say, as surprising as that 436 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,200 Speaker 4: may be, our office is made up of a lot 437 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 4: of introverts. 438 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 2: I mean, I would venture to guess that is true. 439 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,200 Speaker 1: But yeah, I came into the office and like, what 440 00:23:55,359 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: is this? Because yeah, I hated it. I hate because I'm. 441 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,680 Speaker 4: Like, I don't like being watched and every time, maybe 442 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 4: it's just my own like inability to focus, but I'm. 443 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,680 Speaker 1: Like, what what, who's who's here? What are they doing? What? 444 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,840 Speaker 4: And then being afraid and I'm again, I'm not extroverted 445 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,159 Speaker 4: to an extent, but I do have a voice, and 446 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 4: I do like to talk to myself. 447 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 1: I do have a talk, you know, And so sometimes 448 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 1: when I talk to. 449 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 4: Myself, I forget I'm in an open space with a 450 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 4: lot of other people who have figured out not to 451 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 4: talk to themselves. 452 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 3: I've definitely overheard some curse words and some some laughs. 453 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 3: So maybe you're not as out of place as you 454 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:40,679 Speaker 3: think you are. 455 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,320 Speaker 2: Something maybe maybe. 456 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,640 Speaker 3: Other research suggests the existence of what is called an 457 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:50,680 Speaker 3: ambivert advantage. Because ambiverts are good at listening and asserting themselves. 458 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 3: Some studies have found that they are more productive than 459 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 3: both introverts and extroverts. There's also something called the friendship 460 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 3: paradox and the extroversion bias. Essentially, our outgoing extroverted friends 461 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 3: are more likely to be represented in our friendship circles 462 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,880 Speaker 3: because they have more friends, leading to the misconception there 463 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:17,359 Speaker 3: are more extroverts than there actually are, and extroverts aren't 464 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 3: great at understanding introverts, or they haven't been for a 465 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,119 Speaker 3: long time. I do think this is improving some they 466 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 3: might see introverts stuck up or judgmental, like, oh, you're 467 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 3: too good for my small talk or whatever it is. 468 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:34,200 Speaker 3: For some they just can't compute the idea that someone 469 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 3: would want would need to be alone and there not 470 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 3: be something wrong. I kind of this need to check in. 471 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 3: Oh they're they're by themselves, I should check in, And 472 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 3: like this was a moment for me again where I 473 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 3: was thinking back to that interaction I had with my 474 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 3: friend in the morning and whatever the case was extroversion 475 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,879 Speaker 3: or he's just not a morning person, but it like 476 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 3: never occurred to me. 477 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 2: I thought I was doing a service. 478 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 3: I was trying to help and not wanted at all, 479 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 3: not wanted at all. The word antisocial gets thrown around 480 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 3: a lot when you're talking about introverts, and that's the 481 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 3: product of a lot of our media narratives around what 482 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:21,919 Speaker 3: introversion is. Even the Dictionary recognizes our cultural understanding of 483 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,160 Speaker 3: introvert in one of its definitions as shy and withdrawn, 484 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 3: which isn't accurate. It can be, but that's not what 485 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 3: it means. Right, So let's talk about introverts. Let's clear 486 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 3: some of this up, all right, but first let's take 487 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 3: one more quick break for word from our sponsor. 488 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:55,360 Speaker 2: And we're back. Thank you, sponsor. So, Samantha, you tellos 489 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 2: about introverts, I. 490 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: Got you so for my peoples. 491 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 4: According to Positive Psychology, they describe introverts with these traits 492 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 4: recharged by spending time alone or flight before making decisions. 493 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 4: Listen more enjoy one on one conversation introspective of self aware, 494 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,640 Speaker 4: I think before acting, learn through observation, and more sociable 495 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 4: with people they know. Again, introverts don't always have all 496 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,399 Speaker 4: of these traits, they're just commonly associated with introverts, and 497 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,919 Speaker 4: according to author Susan Kin, introversion is quote simply a 498 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 4: preference to socialize in these. 499 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 2: Quieter ways we mentioned earlier. 500 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,480 Speaker 3: How surprisingly, there are statistically more women who are classified 501 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 3: as introverts than there are men, but when it comes 502 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 3: to the stereotypes, it seems men are more accepted as 503 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:43,200 Speaker 3: introverts than women. As blogger Mikaela Chung puts it, Western 504 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 3: society tends to be more accepting of stoic men than 505 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 3: their female counterparts. It's not uncommon to hear women being 506 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 3: referenced to as snobs or awkward, or even stand offish 507 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 3: if they aren't interactive enough, But for those who may 508 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 3: be considered talkative, they are sometimes referenced to as chatty. 509 00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:58,800 Speaker 2: Cathy's. 510 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,360 Speaker 3: When we were researching the subject of introvert versus extrovert, 511 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 3: there does seem to be a lot of assumptions of 512 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 3: the personality trait being negative for introverts, opinions stating that 513 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,160 Speaker 3: introverts are strange or selfish, or maybe even hiding something 514 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 3: I knew it, Samantha. One statement even goes as far 515 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,920 Speaker 3: to say, every once in a while, it's something good, 516 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 3: but eighty percent of the time the introvert is a 517 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 3: shady character. 518 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 1: Don't mind me, I'm not being shady. 519 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,159 Speaker 4: As in fact, with those many negative stereotypes of introverts, 520 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 4: and specifically female introverts, there's this continued conversation of what 521 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 4: leadership looks like for those who have been identified as 522 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,960 Speaker 4: an introvert. The many articles we looked at seem to 523 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 4: be quote how to guys to provide introverts the skills 524 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 4: needed to move forward. As one article states from the 525 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 4: US News, it is a double whammy effect, which is 526 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 4: referencing the already known statistic that women are less likely 527 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 4: to be promoted or considered for a promotion into a 528 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 4: leadership position and add to that the challenges that often 529 00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 4: can be associated with introverts, such as quietness or inability 530 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,720 Speaker 4: to schmooth slash network in order to be seen. And 531 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,959 Speaker 4: in one study conducted by ones in Dialchart, only fifteen 532 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 4: percent of the supervisory level was made up of introverts, 533 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 4: while only two percent or CEOs so that's kind of 534 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 4: a very odd, weird low number. And if we want 535 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,920 Speaker 4: to talk about levels, let's also think on the many 536 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 4: women of color, LGBTQ, non binary women introverts trying to 537 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 4: move forward in their careers. But we'll come back to 538 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 4: that in a bit. 539 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 3: In most, if not all, of the research that we 540 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 3: came across, the constant mention of imposter syndrome was a 541 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 3: theme of trying to navigate what seems to be a 542 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 3: world of extroverts who are framed as outgoing and assertive 543 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 3: and less you're a woman than you run into also 544 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 3: the problem of being labeled as overbearing or loud, know 545 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 3: it all. Many of those who identify as introverts often 546 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 3: speak of trying to change their personalities and pushing themselves 547 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 3: to be seen as more friendly and outgoing, or just 548 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 3: not moving forward and backing away from opportunities due to 549 00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,959 Speaker 3: inability or anxiety of trying to be acknowledged or given recognition. 550 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 4: And so with that, here are a couple of help 551 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 4: advice for introverts trying to climb the ladder, supposedly, so 552 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,120 Speaker 4: let's see if they work. 553 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 1: So one is focus. 554 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 4: On your work at hand or passion instead of looking 555 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 4: at the downfall of your personality type. Introverse are so 556 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,160 Speaker 4: often mistaken as antisocial, when in actuality is the level 557 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 4: of interaction and social networking that can drain an individual, 558 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 4: and it's not necessarily being around another human. For me, 559 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 4: I think I need connections someone who I can be 560 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 4: completely honest with and open with on a personal level. 561 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,240 Speaker 4: I am very quick to get to the depth of 562 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 4: a conversation, to the point that I've been called intimidating 563 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:42,840 Speaker 4: you really, but it's something that I can't if it's 564 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 4: a vapid conversation for too long is exhausting to me. 565 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 4: And so when you think about all of that and 566 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,959 Speaker 4: how that could help, when you're able to find a 567 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 4: passion or that passion in general and put it into practice, 568 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,280 Speaker 4: the impact can be significant in a career slash work field. 569 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 3: Right embracing your intro version. Yeah, it's neither is better 570 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,720 Speaker 3: than the other. Right, neither is better than the others. 571 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 3: So another tip, be strategic. Again, when we were talking 572 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 3: about introverts and social settings, the idea of big groups 573 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 3: of strangers is daunting, but small personal connections can be 574 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 3: just as if not more, useful, in strategic planning for 575 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 3: the growth of a company or an idea. And who 576 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 3: doesn't love a good email. Well, it depends, but I 577 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,479 Speaker 3: actually do love email. This is where introverts can excel 578 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 3: and all those meetings, you know, that could have just 579 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 3: been an email. As we see today, the introverts there. 580 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 4: For you, right, I don't want to talk to your face, 581 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 4: I'll just send you an email even better. 582 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,520 Speaker 2: I am like that. 583 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 3: I actually do really prefer. But that's my hearing problem. 584 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 2: I think that's fair. 585 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,680 Speaker 4: Those who have issues with hearing, or are deaf or 586 00:31:56,720 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 4: can't hear, they probably would really, really really prefer being 587 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 4: able to have a concentrated chat room versus video chats 588 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 4: or just a video, or having in person conversation where 589 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 4: it's a giant group of people. 590 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 1: So that makes sense. 591 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 3: The panic I feel when I have like multiple voices 592 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,880 Speaker 3: and I can't see faces, Oh my god. 593 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 594 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 3: It is interesting to me too, because I in theory 595 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 3: I would love to do face to face things, and 596 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 3: I do, but I have to do It's like another 597 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 3: anti proofing thing where I know, if I don't have time, 598 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 3: I'm going to keep talking because I like it and 599 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 3: I want to talk to this person. So a lot 600 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:39,120 Speaker 3: of times even though I would prefer to do face 601 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 3: to face, I make myself do emails because it's a 602 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 3: time saver. So it's funny to hear it from your 603 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 3: side and then hear it from my side. 604 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 2: Where we're essentially trying to do the same thing we 605 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 2: really are. We're just taking. 606 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:57,800 Speaker 3: Different routes and have different motivations for it. And as 607 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 3: we mentioned, when it comes to women being intro there 608 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,600 Speaker 3: is the issue of the double whammy, but going even 609 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 3: beyond that on an intersectional level, we do see or 610 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 3: even assume when it comes to women of color, LGBTQ plus, 611 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 3: non binary or as Lynette Crane, who is a consultant 612 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 3: that speaks on introverts and job advancement, called it a 613 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:16,320 Speaker 3: triple whammy. 614 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 4: Right as In fact, a blogger named Nicole Nichols writes 615 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 4: specifically in being an introverted Black woman and the many 616 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,080 Speaker 4: stereotypes that come along with being a black woman, whether 617 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 4: it's the expectations that black women are bold and bigger 618 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 4: than life personality, and then what happens when that is 619 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 4: not that person's individual personality. She writes, we've all seen 620 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 4: in the media of the sister Girls with the rotating 621 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 4: next shrill voices and tempers that go from zero to 622 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,320 Speaker 4: one hundred and two seconds. 623 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: As hard it is to believe. 624 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,320 Speaker 4: In a society that is more diverse than ever, there 625 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 4: are still people whose only exposure to black women are 626 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 4: shows like Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, and the 627 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 4: Woral Housewives of Atlanta, which seem to never showcase an 628 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 4: introverted black woman as In fact, there was a season 629 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 4: in which one of the members of the Real Housewives 630 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 4: of Atlanta talked about the fact that her scenes were 631 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 4: cut completely and I believe she wasn't invited back because 632 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,880 Speaker 4: there was not enough drama. Sure, yeah, And she speaks 633 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,920 Speaker 4: on the stereotypes that continue to dismiss introverted women of 634 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 4: color and maybe even their value. She goes on to 635 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 4: talk about her experiences of being reprimanded for being too 636 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,680 Speaker 4: quiet and not lively enough at a social event, and 637 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:24,799 Speaker 4: it definitely is a level of judgment for who she 638 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 4: is as an individual and a personality type. So I 639 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,880 Speaker 4: find that really fascinating when we have that expansion of 640 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,320 Speaker 4: oh my god, this is already bad, but let's add 641 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 4: these again intersectional issues that we don't see or think 642 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:36,839 Speaker 4: about enough. 643 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:46,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is interesting to think of how we've just 644 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 3: sort of coded as a society that the wallflower or 645 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 3: whatever that there's something wrong right right, and that you 646 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 3: need to. 647 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 2: I don't know, like they're just being weird or awkward, 648 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 2: but really. 649 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,840 Speaker 3: Like I don't know, I like to go talk to 650 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,239 Speaker 3: the wallflower and if they're not into it, I just 651 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:06,800 Speaker 3: leave right. 652 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 4: And I think this is also a big conversation to 653 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 4: have in the LGBTQ plus community when we think about 654 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 4: the ideas of a gay man versus lesbians and the 655 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,840 Speaker 4: ideas that happened of who is who, who has the 656 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,200 Speaker 4: bigger personality and who kind of has this negative connotation 657 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,600 Speaker 4: when we see the world around us, and even when 658 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 4: we talked about transgender communities in the conversations that we 659 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 4: have to have, you see amazing things like pose, but 660 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:37,360 Speaker 4: automatically assume that all transgender people are that vibrant because 661 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,360 Speaker 4: of a persona and so it's very problematic when it 662 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 4: comes to the fact that you're not that person. You're 663 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 4: just an individual who was finding their identity in a 664 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 4: different way quietly and need a process. And it's an 665 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,799 Speaker 4: interesting whammy of how does this continue to affect and 666 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:55,719 Speaker 4: how does this continue to be a negative impact for 667 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,920 Speaker 4: you as that person going through such a giant personal growth, 668 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,720 Speaker 4: personal awareness and trying to navigate that in a world 669 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 4: where you're supposed to fit into these things for people's entertainment. 670 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 3: So I hear what I am hearing is more representation 671 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:17,480 Speaker 3: what Yes. Though introversion has been long viewed as a negative, 672 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:22,120 Speaker 3: as we've been discussing as recent years, not necessarily because 673 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:26,800 Speaker 3: of our current isolation situation, it has become almost popular 674 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:30,640 Speaker 3: to call oneself an introvert. I when I was researching 675 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 3: this to the one of the reasons I felt so 676 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 3: judged was the many articles written like finally we can 677 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,759 Speaker 3: escape those extroverts and. 678 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,399 Speaker 1: They're small talk, they're treaded small talk. 679 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,959 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I don't like by small talk 680 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 2: small talk. 681 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 1: Oh good, we will be fit. Well that's the thing. 682 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we need each other. We do need each other. 683 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,040 Speaker 3: Yes, And it's kind of a shift in this conversation 684 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,360 Speaker 3: on what an introvert actually is, like an understanding of 685 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,800 Speaker 3: what it is, what it means, and the power behind 686 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,000 Speaker 3: the creative quiet pri process often associated with an introvert. 687 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 4: Right, And another conversation we definitely want to come back 688 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,239 Speaker 4: to is the idea Chelsea Brooks talks about with the 689 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 4: gender perceptions of extroverse and introverts, with the idea that 690 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,880 Speaker 4: introversion is a feminine trait. When talking about extrovertse we 691 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,560 Speaker 4: hear of it being masculine, bold and loud, and when 692 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 4: we discuss introverts, the idea of more analytical, thoughtful, reserved mousey, 693 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:27,320 Speaker 4: which is seen as feminine, and the question of why. 694 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. 695 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:33,040 Speaker 3: So going back to the author we mentioned earlier, Susan Kine, 696 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 3: she's kind of like the expert introversion. She wrote Quiet, 697 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 3: The Power of Introverts in a World that Won't Stop Talking. 698 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,239 Speaker 3: She also did a TED talk that I know, like 699 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,680 Speaker 3: Emma Watson is called out and Bill Gates says it's 700 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,000 Speaker 3: one of his favorites. So she's a big deal. Right 701 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 3: In this conversation, I. 702 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 4: Think every blogger that we saw or every writer that 703 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 4: we saw that did a post mention her at least 704 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:56,240 Speaker 4: three or four times. 705 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,280 Speaker 2: Yes, sure, yes. 706 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 3: And she commented on how introversion and our ideas around 707 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:06,520 Speaker 3: it impacts feminism. She said, women who are naturally quiet 708 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,880 Speaker 3: feel as if they can't be feminist or be powerful 709 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,759 Speaker 3: because of it. We really need to undo that perception. 710 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,560 Speaker 3: And yeah, we perhaps inadvertedly, are sending this message to 711 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:19,920 Speaker 3: young girls that a strong woman has to be an 712 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,640 Speaker 3: extroverted one. There are no strong female introverts, which is 713 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,280 Speaker 3: absolutely not true. 714 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, as in fact, we have some examples of some 715 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:34,239 Speaker 4: amazing female intervis Audrey Hepburn, who was a genius and 716 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 4: a lovely actress way back when. Breakfast in Tiffany's is 717 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 4: still one of my favorites, even though Capoti hated it. 718 00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:45,279 Speaker 4: Fair enough, Eleanor Roosevelt who had made such impact when 719 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 4: as the first Lady Meryl Streep, you don't you know 720 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:49,719 Speaker 4: she's a powerhouse. 721 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:51,720 Speaker 1: We know this, She's a powerhouse and everything. 722 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 4: Rosa Parks who started a movement on her own, and 723 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 4: then Michelle Obama, come on, come on, the show was 724 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 4: Michelle Obama. So if you don't sorry that we love her, 725 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 4: and yes she should be given the respect, all the respects. 726 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:10,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is interesting how many really creative, famous people 727 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,879 Speaker 3: are introverts. And actually, when I first started working here, 728 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,360 Speaker 3: kind of going back to your point, I was surprised 729 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,560 Speaker 3: at how many of the hosts of the podcast. 730 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,160 Speaker 2: We do are introverts. 731 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,520 Speaker 3: And I mean it makes sense because I do think 732 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,440 Speaker 3: being analytical is actually one of the keys to being creative, 733 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,319 Speaker 3: and that's my own personal thing. I can go into 734 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:33,720 Speaker 3: it forever and ever. I won't but yeah, yeah, yeah. 735 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,840 Speaker 4: So now that we've kind of given you the three 736 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:41,640 Speaker 4: not two types of personalities of extrovert, in avert, and introvert, 737 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,680 Speaker 4: where do you think you lie and how does that 738 00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 4: affect us today? 739 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:45,919 Speaker 1: In Quarantine? 740 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,120 Speaker 4: I will say specifically, as I said earlier, at the beginning, 741 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,800 Speaker 4: I was kind of like, yes, I am an true introvert. 742 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 4: I cannot maintain an enlarge group. I panic from the beginning, 743 00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:00,719 Speaker 4: but then have to rev myself up. I put on 744 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,799 Speaker 4: a show essentially. I think you know, you and I 745 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,760 Speaker 4: have talked about this when I'm on, I'm on. Yeah, 746 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,840 Speaker 4: but it is exhausting and I need like five days 747 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:09,640 Speaker 4: to recoup. 748 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, now I totally get that. 749 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,880 Speaker 4: You actually can. I can feel it physically. I am 750 00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,759 Speaker 4: so exhausted. I can sleep for days. My voice is gone. 751 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 4: Maybe because I'm always screaming. Maybe it's because I'm dancing too, 752 00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,319 Speaker 4: I don't know, but it is. It's a whole level 753 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:25,960 Speaker 4: of like, oh my god, these are the things that 754 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,400 Speaker 4: I have to do. But I'm good at it, and 755 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,680 Speaker 4: I know how to read people enough, but it also 756 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:33,000 Speaker 4: comes to the point that before I come into a situation, 757 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,280 Speaker 4: I'm gonna watch your personality first and see what meshes first. 758 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:40,359 Speaker 4: I think that's part of my social work background as well. 759 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:45,239 Speaker 4: But in quarantine times it's been kind of difficult. Like 760 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 4: I love my own space and I love being recharged, 761 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,680 Speaker 4: but yeah, I'm like, oh oh, now, this anxiety and 762 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 4: overwhelming need to actually be around people has kind of 763 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:00,560 Speaker 4: pushed me to the Okay, I'm ready for a giant 764 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 4: party with my friends where we're just all loudly speaking 765 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,880 Speaker 4: to each other, trying to catch. 766 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:10,239 Speaker 3: Up, touching, maybe within three feet of each other. 767 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,480 Speaker 4: Right, Look, every time I'll look at anyone, I think 768 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,640 Speaker 4: every time I'm watching a movie recently or TV shows, 769 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 4: like they're standing too close. Why are they standing so close? 770 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:25,040 Speaker 2: I know it's gonna leave a like lasting impact or sure. 771 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:26,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. 772 00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,759 Speaker 4: Do you think you are absolutely an extrovert or would 773 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,480 Speaker 4: you say you're more of an ambivert line? 774 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:38,280 Speaker 3: I actually i think I'm out like really strong, maybe 775 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,319 Speaker 3: like on the very edge of ambervert an extrovert. 776 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 2: I think I'm pretty strong extrovert. 777 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,080 Speaker 3: And I actually took one of the tests yesterday and 778 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,319 Speaker 3: out of five five being extrovert, one being introvert, I 779 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,120 Speaker 3: got four point eight or something. But the thing is, 780 00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:58,040 Speaker 3: it really helps me not to reframe to correct how 781 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,080 Speaker 3: I was thinking of it, because I, like I said, 782 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,760 Speaker 3: I don't have to be around people all the time. 783 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,839 Speaker 3: It's the new experiences and the stimulus that I get 784 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:11,960 Speaker 3: and like I can, I can write my fan fiction. 785 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,240 Speaker 2: You know days. 786 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:17,880 Speaker 3: But uh, it is, I've noticed it. It has worn 787 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 3: on me being in during this quarantine, right And you 788 00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,440 Speaker 3: can listen to are the mini we did recently for 789 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:29,840 Speaker 3: more on that, But it's it is. I'm glad we 790 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,560 Speaker 3: did this one because I did have a lot of 791 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,800 Speaker 3: misconceptions and I would have said, maybe I'm more of 792 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,320 Speaker 3: an introvert actually, and people just think I'm an extrovert. 793 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,239 Speaker 1: But you need a stimulus and I do not. 794 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:42,439 Speaker 4: Yes, yep, but I think and I think for sure 795 00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:43,640 Speaker 4: we're talking about memes. 796 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,520 Speaker 1: You are absolutely the one I'm thinking. I want to 797 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:46,920 Speaker 1: like check on your extroverts or not. 798 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:54,520 Speaker 3: Okay, I know, I'm just like standing at the windows. 799 00:42:56,480 --> 00:43:00,200 Speaker 1: Looking out someone someone come talk to me us. 800 00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,359 Speaker 3: Definitely check in, I mean check in all your friends because, 801 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 3: like we said, it's not like it's a cake walk 802 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,680 Speaker 3: for introverts. 803 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 1: Right and remember, because the anxiety and the like. 804 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,879 Speaker 4: If we're talking about the level of the analytical side 805 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:16,240 Speaker 4: of this, this is a haunting and very scary moment 806 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,560 Speaker 4: for everyone. And it doesn't matter what your personality type is, 807 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:24,560 Speaker 4: if you're optimistic, wonderful, But for an introvert who again 808 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,400 Speaker 4: can't internalize a lot of emotions in general and that 809 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:31,759 Speaker 4: may not speak out when something is wrong, is definitely 810 00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,600 Speaker 4: something this can be a problematic issue. 811 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I mean it's it's not easy for 812 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:39,560 Speaker 3: anybody for sure. 813 00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,440 Speaker 1: So in general, check on your peoples. 814 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, check on all your friends, and yeah, look 815 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,800 Speaker 3: right to us, right please, And we would love to 816 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,200 Speaker 3: hear from you. We'd love to know where you are 817 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:57,279 Speaker 3: on this extrovert introvert spectrum. You can email us or 818 00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:00,400 Speaker 3: email is Stuff Media mom Stuff at iHeartMedia Dot. You 819 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:02,840 Speaker 3: can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or 820 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,239 Speaker 3: on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks as 821 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,040 Speaker 3: always to our super producer Andrew Howard. 822 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,359 Speaker 1: Thank you Andrew, who was an introvert for sure. 823 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,200 Speaker 3: Yes, we'd actually discussed it earlier today, and thanks to you. 824 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 3: For listening stuff I've Never Told You is a production 825 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,640 Speaker 3: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the 826 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,560 Speaker 3: iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your 827 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:23,280 Speaker 3: favorite shows.