1 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to the Caryl Marcowitz Show on iHeartRadio. 2 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: My guest today is Dave Barry. Dave's a humor writer 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: who has written many books, including the novel Swamp Story, 4 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: which I read while giggling my face off on trains 5 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 1: and airplanes. His substack is called Dave Barry's Substack. You 6 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: should definitely check it out. So nice to have you on, Dave. 7 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 2: Thanks Carl, thanks for being for having me. 8 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: I'm a really big fan of yours, and I've read 9 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,319 Speaker 1: a lot of your books and just a lot of 10 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: your work over the years. I think you are hilarious, 11 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,239 Speaker 1: and I have to say that the one book I 12 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: haven't read is best Date ever. A Florida man defends 13 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: his homeland only. I'm a relatively new Floridian. It'll be 14 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: four years in January. Why do you love Florida? What 15 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 1: is it about this great state? 16 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I'm a humor writer, and I 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 2: moved here like forty almost forty or thirty nine years ago. 18 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,279 Speaker 2: I've moved. My joke is, I moved to Miami from 19 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 2: the United States in nineteen eighty six, and originally I 20 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 2: was terrified about it when I first came to Miami. 21 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: I worked from the Miami Herald for many years. 22 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: Where did you move from? 23 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 2: From Glen Mills, Pennsylvania, old Bucolic suburb of Philadelphia. And 24 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 2: it just couldn't have been more rural, and you know, 25 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 2: low key. And I got offered this job at the 26 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 2: Miami Herald and they flew me down and like this 27 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,119 Speaker 2: was at the height of the cocaine cowboy era. There 28 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 2: were some literally bails of cocaine falling out of the sky. 29 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 1: You know, it's like, did you grab any or no. 30 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 2: I was never in the right place at the right time. 31 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 2: But actually that was one of the first columns I 32 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 2: wrote when I got here, which was that literally did happen. 33 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 2: There was a it was a Citizens Crime Watch meeting 34 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 2: in a place called Homestead, Florida. 35 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: Oh I know Homestead. Yeah, okay, shot guns in Homestead. 36 00:01:59,240 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: Well that's a. 37 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 2: Thing you can do there, right and and uh and 38 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 2: so this guy, Kurt Ivy was the chief of police 39 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 2: there and he was talking in this backyard of this 40 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,239 Speaker 2: nice little development about how the Citizens Crime Watch is 41 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 2: supposed to work. And then there's this noise overhead. It 42 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 2: was like it was a plane coming over to the 43 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 2: Bahamas with smugglers in it, and a custom service jet 44 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,359 Speaker 2: was trying to force them down. So these guys are 45 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 2: flinging these bales of cocaine out and one of them 46 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 2: lands almost and you know it almost Like I later said, 47 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 2: I wrote, come about this. If you were to write 48 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 2: a movie and you have a scene where a citizens 49 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 2: Crime Watch meeting is interrupted by falling cocaine all the 50 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 2: people exactly, that would never happen, but it did. It 51 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 2: happens anyway. So that was what was going on in 52 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 2: Miami when I first got down here. And my initial 53 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 2: feeling was I'm, you know, okay, I'll work for the 54 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 2: Miami Herald, but I'm never going to move here, and 55 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 2: they said okay. So for a little while they I 56 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,640 Speaker 2: lived in Glen Mills, Pennsylvania, and I was the humor 57 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 2: commist for the Miami Herald, but I would come down 58 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 2: every now and then to Miami, and at first I 59 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 2: got to know people, I got to see the city 60 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 2: a little different parts of the city where you could 61 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 2: actually live without getting shot, and it just came to 62 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 2: kind of like it. And so after a few years 63 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 2: I moved here to Florida, and at the time, everybody 64 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 2: said I was insane. Now people don't say that, but 65 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 2: they did then. And you know, I've been through here, 66 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 2: through hurricanes and everything. I love Florida now, and partly 67 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 2: for you know, the reasons everybody says. I like that 68 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 2: there's no income tax. I like that age lot. Everyone 69 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 2: likes that. I like the weather, except for now when 70 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 2: I hate it, but I'm used to it and I'd 71 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 2: rather have this than cold. But mostly I kind of 72 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 2: like that. It's it's entertaining and it's like anything can 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 2: happen here does happen here. It's a lot of really 74 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 2: different places. Key West is not anything like Miami, which 75 00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: is not eating like Fort Lauderdale, which is not ayting 76 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 2: like Orlando, which is not anything like Naples, which is 77 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 2: not anything like Gainesil. It's all these different places. Yeah, 78 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 2: and it's kind of crazy, but I like it a lot. 79 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 2: And as I say, if you're a humor writer. 80 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: There's a lot that's funny here. 81 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 2: There's a lot of material. It just keeps cappening down here. 82 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: It's funny that you refer to moving to Miami from 83 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: America because also people in Miami don't consider themselves like 84 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: part of Florida, like you'll say, oh, I'm from Miami 85 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: instead of I'm from Florida, because it's its own kind 86 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 1: of entity. 87 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 2: Do you find my joke for a long time. Yeah, 88 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,880 Speaker 2: and that's kind of true of the whole state, though, 89 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 2: You're absolutely right, Miami feels people in Miami they're Miami 90 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 2: people or whatever. But like, one of the things I 91 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 2: love about Florida, one of the many is we have 92 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 2: no state pride. You know, like people from Texas are 93 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 2: all like, yeah, just so much with Texas. Florida is 94 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 2: like people say, well, that state is crazy. Yeah, yes 95 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 2: it is. It's crazy. 96 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: I think we do have state pride. Now, I don't know. 97 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 1: Maybe again, I'm new, you willing to believe, you know, yes, 98 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: Converts are always the most you. 99 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 2: Have to you have to be proud of you. 100 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: Everybody around me. Like my neighbor who moved here after 101 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: I moved here, where's a little Florida chain around his neck, 102 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: you know, has the outline of the state. And so 103 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 1: many people wear the Florida flag hats and have the 104 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: sticker on their trucks. 105 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 2: And yeah, and I mean to the extent that I 106 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 2: feel like it's like all the states that make fun 107 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 2: of us are the states where the people that are 108 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 2: moving to frost. Yeah, you know, I'm not gonna I'm 109 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,119 Speaker 2: not gonna. I'm not gonna be too upset if somebody 110 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 2: from Illinois says something bad about Florida or or on 111 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 2: New York or California. But but, but I guess my 112 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 2: point was, like we generally don't all we don't all 113 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 2: have there's nothing we all have in common, really, and 114 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 2: we really don't like income tax and we do like 115 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 2: whenever it's really horrible in elsewhere in Boston, we just 116 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 2: love to let those people know. Yeah, we're in a 117 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 2: short stand. So we all agree on that, and that's 118 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 2: good enough. 119 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's about it for now. So how did you 120 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: become a humor writer? Did you just realize you were 121 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: really funny early on and that you had a writing skill, 122 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: because it is two different things, it's. 123 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 2: Two very different things. And I mean I always like 124 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,840 Speaker 2: to write. I was a you know, an English major 125 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 2: in college. I was the kid who was the good 126 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 2: writer in high school and English class and everything. And 127 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 2: I always loved humor. I mean I was obsessed with 128 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 2: My idol when I was a kid was Robert Benchley. 129 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 2: He was an essays nobody listens reads anymore. But I 130 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 2: loved him. I love PG Woodhouse, I love Mad Magazine, 131 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:49,840 Speaker 2: I love humor. 132 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: I love Mad. Yeah. 133 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, So I was just a big fan of humor 134 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 2: and I love to write, but I never thought that 135 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,559 Speaker 2: I could make a living doing it. That didn't occur 136 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 2: to me. There's like no eye at path to that. 137 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:01,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. 138 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 2: So when I got out of college, I went to 139 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 2: work for a newspaper because at least that was writing, 140 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 2: and I liked it, and I thought, I'll, you know, 141 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 2: be a newspaper person for the rest of my life. 142 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 2: And it's sort of like I crept in to my 143 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 2: professional life. I was able to occasionally write a humor piece. 144 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 2: They were reasonably well received, and then it just got 145 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 2: more and more and then like I was in my thirties, 146 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 2: really before I could possibly make a living doing it. 147 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 2: So it was something I always would have like if 148 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 2: you'd asked me when I'm sixteen, what would you want 149 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 2: to do? Make stuff up and make people laugh. That 150 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 2: would be what I want to do. But I saw, 151 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: I know career path. 152 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: That way, and I didn't like, you you don't even 153 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: tell your parents. 154 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 2: I just didn't think it was even possible, so it 155 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 2: just kind of happened organically. I was very lucky that 156 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 2: it was a time when newspapers printed syndicated columns. They 157 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 2: don't really do that much anymore. Like Art Buckwald was huge, 158 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 2: IRMA Bomback was huge, So there was sort of that 159 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 2: market existed. But it just could have happened to me 160 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 2: more than I made it happen. 161 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I used to, like, even twenty years ago, 162 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: a lot of writing was very funny, even if it 163 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: wasn't specifically humor writing, Like somebody would write a column about, 164 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: you know, something serious, but would include funny lines. I 165 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: definitely try to do that in my work because of 166 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: that's that's where you know, I first wanted to be 167 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: a writer reading stuff like that. But I feel like 168 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: it's gotten everybody's gotten less funnier. Is that? Do you 169 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: notice that? Or is that just me? I just think 170 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: nobody includes humor in kind of more serious pieces anymore. 171 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 2: In serious Yeah, I would say it is. It's not 172 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 2: true online, It's not true on Twitter or something. 173 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: That we're all still hilarious on Twitter. 174 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,599 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, I think you are right that 175 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 2: in terms of essays that people in serious publications. Yeah, 176 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 2: it's less likely that people will just go for it. 177 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 2: And I think there's a couple of reasons for that. 178 00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 2: One is just the general bifurcation of our culture year 179 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,119 Speaker 2: on one team or the other team, and god forbid, 180 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 2: you should make to make fun of the wrong team 181 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 2: or you know, or you know, offend anybody, So that 182 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 2: there's that, And then there's just this sort of I 183 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 2: think fear these days of not looking cool because if 184 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 2: you always say this, if you the scary part about 185 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 2: human writing is it's like the only kind of writing 186 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 2: where you tell the reader this is what I'm expecting 187 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 2: you to get from this. Like, am I right? If 188 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:29,319 Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, serious columnist, I can write about 189 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 2: anything and it can be horribly wrong or boring or whatever, 190 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 2: but nobody's gonna think I didn't do what I was 191 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 2: supposed to do and I express my pinion. But if 192 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 2: I tell you I'm a humorist and then you're not funny, 193 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 2: anybody in the world can anybody has the right to 194 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 2: go that that's not funny. I didn't think that was funny. 195 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 2: You suck, you know, So you you're dealing with that, 196 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 2: like fear of not being cool? Now me, I don't 197 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,719 Speaker 2: have that fear so because I'm too. 198 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: I also, yeah, it's good. 199 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 2: It's a good quality to have. If you're going to 200 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 2: do what you do and what I do, you kind 201 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 2: of have to have it. Yeah. 202 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: So what if humor writing hadn't worked out? Did you 203 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: have a plan. 204 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 2: B underwear model? Yeah? Yeah, I mean you can't tell 205 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 2: the whole path. Yeah, no, you know, I would have 206 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 2: just continued to be like what I was actually doing 207 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 2: when I when my humor writing career really took off, 208 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 2: I was teaching effective writing seminars to business people. I 209 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:27,319 Speaker 2: had left the news, the newspaper business altogether, and uh 210 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,680 Speaker 2: for complicated reasons. Mainly I went to the Associated Press 211 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,719 Speaker 2: and I just hated it so much that I had 212 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 2: to leave, just because it was such boring, right. Yeah. Yeah. 213 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 2: So this this friend of mine, his dad, had this 214 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 2: consulting company, little tiny consulting company. I go around to 215 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 2: companies all around the country, a bunch of engineers or 216 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 2: chemists or accounts or computer programmers, and I was I 217 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 2: would teach this week long seminar and how to write better, 218 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 2: you know. And That's what I was doing. And it 219 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,679 Speaker 2: was the opposite of being a humor rare except. 220 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: That I was standing up funny about that. 221 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 2: No, well, except that I did learn I had to 222 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 2: keep their attention for a week, and they all hated it. 223 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 2: Nobody wanted to be there. Yeah, so I made a 224 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 2: lot of jokes, and so that was I had that 225 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 2: going forward. 226 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,839 Speaker 1: Do you teach them to make jokes? That's another thing 227 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: I think like they could be. If you're even slightly 228 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 1: funny when you're giving a serious speech, everybody loves it. 229 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: It's like the best thing they've ever heard. 230 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 2: I have. This has been my argument forever about public speaking. 231 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,319 Speaker 2: I said, you don't have to do much at all. 232 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 2: Just just don't do what everybody else is doing. Do 233 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 2: not be the most boring human being on the face 234 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 2: of the earth, which seems to be the goal of 235 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 2: most people. Get up in space. Yeah, you're right. Anything 236 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 2: you give them, any bone you throw them, Yes, except 237 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 2: the one. And I'm just going to say this now, 238 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 2: and I'm on a lifelong crusade about this. There's a 239 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 2: joke that every speaker that I hate makes. If you 240 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 2: make this joke, I will hate you no matter what 241 00:11:58,800 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 2: else you do. 242 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 1: David Hate, Let's hear it. 243 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 2: If you start by saying good morning, and everybody goes 244 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,320 Speaker 2: morning and you, oh, we can do better than that. 245 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 2: If you do that, I hate you. 246 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, don't make me talk. 247 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 2: We did our part. We say good morning back you 248 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 2: know you want. We don't owe you this yet anyway. 249 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 2: So and that's not even a joke, But that's like. 250 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: That's the that person is trying and failing to be 251 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 1: funny in like the worst way possible. I hear you. 252 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 2: Many people do. Many people fail. Yeah, so that's why 253 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,320 Speaker 2: they don't try. 254 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: Okay, with people taking chances, that's just corny, Like take 255 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: your own chance, say something unexpected and funny, and if 256 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: it fails, it fails, and that's fine. But don't be 257 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,400 Speaker 1: like everyone else. I think that's that's a real good 258 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: tip from you. 259 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 2: Also, don't don't talk for more than five minutes. Yeah, 260 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 2: pretty much about anything. Yes, it's people always. Everybody talks 261 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 2: too long. Nobody ever, Nobody ever says at the end 262 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 2: of a speech, I wish that going on along, yea. 263 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 2: Almost almost nobody ever said that. 264 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,959 Speaker 1: I will say, like, you know, I guess speeches and 265 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,920 Speaker 1: stuff people want to book you for. Like the people 266 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 1: will sometimes be like, can you give an hour and 267 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 1: a half speech and I literally cannot, so like not capable. 268 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,679 Speaker 1: I do forty minutes, top, I do what you do. 269 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 2: And yeah, And the other thing I have to deal 270 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 2: with is like they will always do a Q and 271 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 2: A and I always go, look, I'm not going to 272 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 2: say one useful thing. I'm not going to impart any information. 273 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 2: People will actually come out, people are going to write. 274 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,199 Speaker 2: But that's because you have something to say. I always 275 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,599 Speaker 2: say I have nothing to say. People are going to 276 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 2: come out of this stupider than they went in. Don't answer. 277 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 1: They're not really going to ask you or anything. It's 278 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 1: going to be like this is more of a comment 279 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 1: than a question. And yeah, you know, it's just going 280 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: to fill the time. Yeah, coming up, we'll have more 281 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,439 Speaker 1: from Dave Barry. But first, it was nearly two years 282 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 1: ago that terrorists murdered more than twelve hundred innocent Israelis 283 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 1: and took two hundred and fifty people hostage. Today, it 284 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 1: seems as if the cries of the dead and dying 285 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: have been drowned out by shouts of Antisemitic hatred, and 286 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,319 Speaker 1: the most brutal attack on Jewish people since the Holocaust 287 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 1: has been forgotten. Yet, as the world looks away, a 288 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 1: light shines in the darkness. It's a movement of love 289 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,920 Speaker 1: and support for the people of Israel called Flags of Fellowship, 290 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: and it's organized by the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. 291 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: And on October fifth, just a few weeks away, millions 292 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: across America will prayer fully plant an Israeli flag and 293 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: honor and solidarity with the victims of October seventh, twenty 294 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: twenty three and their grieving families. And now you can 295 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: be a part of this movement too. To get more 296 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 1: information about how you can join the Flags of Fellowship movement, 297 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 1: visit the Fellowship online at IFCJ dot org. That's IFCJ 298 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: dot org. More from Dave Barry on The Carol Markowitz 299 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 1: Show is coming up. Switching gears is more serious. But 300 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: what do you worry about? 301 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 2: Is this one of the three quests? Ask everybody questions? 302 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: I snuck it in, you get in right, you know, 303 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 1: you don't see it coming. It just it just it's 304 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 1: just one of the things I ask. 305 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I I wrote a book, a memoir, my 306 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 2: most most recent book, probably my last book. But anyway, 307 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 2: I end the book, it's like it's it's meant to 308 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 2: be a funny book, but it's it has probably more 309 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 2: serious content than most books that I write because like 310 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 2: part of it, I had to tell the truth. I 311 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 2: don't like to do, but I have to. But anyway, 312 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 2: at the end of the book, I do talk about 313 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 2: actual things I have learned, things I let and the 314 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 2: I am answering your question. 315 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: I know it doesn't seem like take the long way around. 316 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 2: I'm getting there. I'm getting there. 317 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 318 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 2: But the end of the book, the lesson that I say, 319 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 2: the most important lesson I think that I would impart 320 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 2: that I would say to people if I you know, 321 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 2: at risk of sounding like an old guy pretending to 322 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 2: be wise, is it's going to be okay that you know? 323 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 2: And when I talk about all the time, like I'm 324 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 2: seventy eight years old from my early childhood, when we. 325 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 1: Were gonna have to say you're seventy eight years old, yeah, I. 326 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 2: Say, no, you're not. Yeah, I am stop it, No, 327 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 2: I really am. 328 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? 329 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 2: No? 330 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,080 Speaker 1: I mean you look super super young for seventy eight. 331 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 2: Well I'm not super young. I'm seventy eight. 332 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 333 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 2: So anyway, I started. 334 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to need your skincare regime. 335 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 2: After this, I thought you're gonna ask my driver's license. 336 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 2: I believe you. 337 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 1: It's just crazy. Wow. 338 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 2: My entire life, starting with early childhood. You know, I 339 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 2: actually did literally go under the desk to you know, 340 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 2: because the nuclear war might come. You add us do that. 341 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 2: We did it, you know, And then from from then on, 342 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 2: there's always been something that was going to you know, 343 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 2: the communists, we're going to take over sure, Yeah, global heating, 344 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 2: global cooling, you know, the comic's gonna take with the government. 345 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 2: Nazis has taken over the government. Yeah, It's always always 346 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 2: been something, and it never happens, you know, Like, and 347 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 2: yet I know a lot of people who think it's 348 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 2: happening right now. They think it's happening, and they but 349 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 2: the same people thought it was happening before. It just 350 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 2: and it never. Actually the thing that you're worrying about 351 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 2: so much never happens, which is to say nothing bad 352 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 2: will happen to you. And it's nothing to say that 353 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 2: bad things on a major level, a macro level don't 354 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 2: sometimes happen. They do, but in the end, yeah, if 355 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,880 Speaker 2: things work out pretty well for most people, and that's 356 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 2: a pretty good assumption you can make and you know why. 357 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 2: That's why you should have kids when you grow up, 358 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 2: you know, and not so I can't have. 359 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: Kids because the world's so bad. 360 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,960 Speaker 2: The world so bad, you know. And I always want 361 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 2: to say, like, you were not around in the sixties 362 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 2: when there were snipers on the roofs uh, and the 363 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 2: cities were burning down and there was a war going 364 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 2: on it they weren't and the president was shot and 365 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 2: then the people running for president got shot. It was 366 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 2: pretty shitty, right, and. 367 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,119 Speaker 1: People still have kids. 368 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, And we got through it, you know, and that 369 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 2: was worse than now, and then in our generation, that 370 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 2: was nothing compared to my parents generator. You know, all 371 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,919 Speaker 2: of the sixties didn't even begin to add up to 372 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 2: one year in the forties when people are dealing with 373 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 2: depression and World War so things bad things do happen, 374 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 2: but things generally work out. So so I'm trying to 375 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,199 Speaker 2: answer your question, what do I worry about? And I 376 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 2: really might My honest answer is I don't worry about 377 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 2: that much. If I have to pick one issue thing 378 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 2: to say that I do worry about now, it's the 379 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 2: fact that the federal government cannot seem to control it's spending. 380 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,439 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, That's the thing. I think I'm not smart 381 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,639 Speaker 2: enough to really understand all the reasons I should be 382 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 2: terrified about that. But people who seem right, people who 383 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 2: people who seem really smart, yeah, do worry about that. 384 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 2: And I have kids and grandkids, and I do worry 385 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 2: about that. I mean, my joke is I've been Oh, well, 386 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 2: I'm going to be dead right, it's not my problem. 387 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: No, I worry about that too. I just feel like 388 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 1: I've said this on previous shows, but I feel like 389 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: we've lost that argument. Like it's just like nobody you 390 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: can't get anybody to care about that anymore. 391 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,959 Speaker 2: So, No, we just had this giant I just I 392 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,920 Speaker 2: may I write this year and review every year and 393 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 2: year my favorite thing. 394 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: I read it every single year. 395 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 2: Thank you. It's what a painting he asked to write 396 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,639 Speaker 2: that is. But it's just it's I've made the same 397 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 2: joke you after hear, and I'm gonna make it again 398 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 2: this year. Like they have this huge budget battle, but 399 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 2: you know, between the Republicans and the Democrats budget battle, 400 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 2: it's huge, it's you know, and one side wants to 401 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,639 Speaker 2: spend way more money than we have, and the other 402 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 2: side wants to spend way more money, and then they 403 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 2: finally reach a compromise and we're spending way more money, 404 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 2: and then we move on. You know, I think, what 405 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 2: that's doesn't seem right? Wouldn't there sitting there be one 406 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,360 Speaker 2: side that doesn't want to. 407 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 1: You would think, right. I thought that that was the 408 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 1: Republican side. 409 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 2: It used to be. 410 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then Musk like went into the government. It 411 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'm sad they don't really care about this. 412 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So like I I do worry that nobody 413 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 2: worries about it except really really smart people. And they 414 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 2: seem to say, well, we're we're scrude, you know, but anyway, 415 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,880 Speaker 2: we'll be dead whatever, we'll be dead. It's fine, Yeah, 416 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 2: I'll be I'll be way dead. I'm seventy eight already. 417 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 1: I'll be a little bit behind you, hopefully dead. 418 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 2: You know, something to shoot. 419 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,160 Speaker 1: For somebody else's problem. You know, not no reason why 420 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:18,880 Speaker 1: I met death. 421 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:19,160 Speaker 2: You could. 422 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,520 Speaker 1: I'm Russian. You can't scare me with death. 423 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 2: I know. 424 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: My kids are always like, can you not talk about 425 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:26,960 Speaker 1: your death so much? 426 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 2: But I've been to Russia. I want to wow, Yeah 427 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,200 Speaker 2: I had. I went there for our State department. 428 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,919 Speaker 1: Really, yeah, take you over to make you better. 429 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 2: To improve relations. What a mistake that was. But anyway, 430 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 2: they don't amazing. I think I think I was the 431 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 2: last one they said that. 432 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: Wouldn't be a bad idea though, sending funny people over 433 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 1: to Russia to improve relations. 434 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,640 Speaker 2: They got the jokes that the audiences did. 435 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 1: Anyway, Yeah, they're funny people. 436 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 2: They are are They're pretty funny. I thought so too. 437 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 1: You have to you have to have humor. Yeah, yeah, 438 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: you know through that history. So looking back on your life, 439 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: what advice would you give your sixteen year old self, 440 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: Like what a sixteen year old dave need to know? 441 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 2: Well, I was going to say, you know, don't don't 442 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 2: be such a wise ass, because I really was. I 443 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 2: was insufferable. But in a way that would have I 444 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,680 Speaker 2: would have had no career. 445 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 1: Kind of you know, maybe still say a wise I. 446 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 2: Think I would have said, like, you know, you can 447 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 2: continue to be a wise ass, but you should not. 448 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 2: You should be nicer. I don't think I was a 449 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 2: very nice Like I think back to like does does 450 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 2: everybody do this? And like in high school when it's 451 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:41,399 Speaker 2: you're just feerial and and I was really good at 452 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 2: insulting people, putting people down, good at that. I was, 453 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,439 Speaker 2: and and I kind of feel I want to go 454 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,199 Speaker 2: back to some of some of the people and just 455 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 2: say I'm sorry even though you were an asshole. 456 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: Right, I'm sure too. That's the thing. You get very 457 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 1: good at insulting people because you were being insulted. Probably 458 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 1: I was, yeah, because I was a response. 459 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,200 Speaker 2: It was a defensive defense. Was the only weapon I had. 460 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 2: I was a small, hairless young man, and I was like, 461 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 2: I wasn't good at sports. Girls didn't like me. I 462 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 2: was in you know, I was class clown. I was 463 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:19,400 Speaker 2: literally elected class clown. 464 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: So so you had you had the words to make 465 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,920 Speaker 1: them think twice about messing with you. I did. 466 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,400 Speaker 2: But well, you know, like I I've read a million 467 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 2: times in magazine articles when they used to have magazines, 468 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 2: and I still read it online that one of the 469 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 2: things women most prized in a man is a sense 470 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 2: of humor. Definitely, what a lie? You lie? So true? 471 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 2: Well I had you. 472 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,879 Speaker 1: It can't be funny if I can't laugh. 473 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 2: It's carol. Where were you when I was in high school? Well, 474 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 2: you were not born. You were not born yet, you know. 475 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 2: But they're like they say that, But when I was 476 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 2: in high school, I had a sense of humor. Didn't 477 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 2: do me. 478 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 1: The girls didn't care about when you got older. Now 479 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: it worked out better when I yea, I think maybe 480 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: high school isn't the greatest example, but. 481 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 2: Now happily married grandfather. Though it doesn't do many, it 482 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,159 Speaker 2: doesn't help anymore. 483 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: I don't know my husband. Definitely my funny guy attraction 484 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: to him was he's hilarious. He's really funny, makes me 485 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,600 Speaker 1: like crack up, and that I think that's the most 486 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 1: important thing in a relationship. Okay, yeah, I mean mostly right. 487 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, one of one of the things. 488 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,199 Speaker 1: One of the things. Definitely. Well, I've loved this conversation. 489 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: I'm not exaggerating when I say this is one of 490 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: my favorite interviews I've ever done. 491 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 2: Oh thank you. 492 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, this has been great. I could talk to you. 493 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,440 Speaker 1: I think we're already over the time, and I could 494 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 1: just keep going. But leave us here with your best 495 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,879 Speaker 1: tip for my listeners on how they can improve their lives. 496 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,439 Speaker 2: I have two okay, all right. The first one is, 497 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:50,679 Speaker 2: and this is like old wisdom that you probably have 498 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 2: imparted yourself many times. It's just like, just don't confuse 499 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 2: anything you see on the internet ever with real life. 500 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,719 Speaker 2: They much more attention to your real life, your family, 501 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 2: you know, definitely don't get out of that. And the 502 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 2: other is, you don't need to refrigerate ketchup or mustard. 503 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,119 Speaker 1: But of course you do. 504 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,400 Speaker 2: No, you don't welcome to any restaurant in America. Where 505 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 2: is the ketchup and where's the mustard? But shut up, Carol, 506 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 2: just listen. Listen to me. 507 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: I hope they put it in a fridge at the 508 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,280 Speaker 1: end of the night. 509 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,359 Speaker 2: No, they do not. It sits out on the table 510 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 2: day after day, day week after week. No it it's fine. 511 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 2: You don't need to You're putting cold condiments on your 512 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,200 Speaker 2: hot dogs and Hamburger's for no reason. 513 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 1: Cold ketchup tastes so much better than warm ketchup. 514 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 2: That must be a Russian thing, is it. I'm gonna 515 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,040 Speaker 2: know they don't even have refrigeration. They don't even have refrigeration. Now, 516 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 2: if the listeners think about it, and I know they will, 517 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:45,880 Speaker 2: they'll come to the right conclusion. 518 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 1: You don't think so, I think we're okay. I'm gonna 519 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 1: we're gonna find out. 520 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 2: Those two pieces of advice, the first one is probably 521 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,880 Speaker 2: more the more important. 522 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: One, but the second one is more controversial. 523 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:58,959 Speaker 2: Yeah it is, but I'll go to the grave with that. 524 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Dave. He is Dave Barry. Check 525 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,439 Speaker 1: out his substack. You are just fantastic. Read all of 526 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,440 Speaker 1: his books. Every one of them is so funny. 527 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,120 Speaker 2: Or just buy them you don't need to read them. 528 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,200 Speaker 1: No, buy them and read them, okay, or. 529 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 2: Send me money in a box. Either one. 530 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 1: Thank you, Dave. Thanks my pleasure. 531 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:14,679 Speaker 2: Thank you.