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Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio Elizabeth Dutton Saren

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Speaker 1: Damn glad to see you. I'm me too, I'm glad

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Speaker 1: to see me too. I got a question for you

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Speaker 1: in a second. Do you know what's ridiculous? Yes? Oh.

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Speaker 1: Known for its signature velvety smooth texture, are you just

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Speaker 1: gonna come right at me? That's whipped three thousand times?

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Speaker 1: Just like you? Craft Real maccraft Real. Mayo today announced

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Speaker 1: the drop of the Quote Smooth Lovers collection in partnership

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Speaker 1: with Juicy Couture. Mayo is for smooth lovers, the iconic

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Speaker 1: and beloved lifestyle for of course yeah. The exclusive collection

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Speaker 1: provides a delicious dose of nostalgia with the most velvety

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Speaker 1: smooth collab yat It's Mayonnaise and Juicy Couture. I have

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Speaker 1: to thank Talvi, who sent us an email about this.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, Talby. Here's the thing. The limited

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Speaker 1: edition collection includes a deep blue plush valor track suit

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Speaker 1: with smooth taking the place of the iconic juicy design

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Speaker 1: on the on the rump Zaron And here's my favorite part.

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Speaker 1: This is just amazing smooth on a person's behind and

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Speaker 1: white valure tube top featuring Mayo couture, each dripping with

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Speaker 1: blinged out embellishments, dripping Mayo. Okay, the Mayo people are

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Speaker 1: wearing it, so yeah, Craft Real Mayo and Juicy Coatur.

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Speaker 1: I just hope that the people at the Mayo Clinic

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Speaker 1: get a bunch of this once it goes to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like at the Salvation Army. Once it's

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Speaker 1: gone from like ross to then it gets they can't

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Speaker 1: sell it at Ross, and then they're going to send

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Speaker 1: it to the Mayo Clinic. Yeah, exactly before they send

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Speaker 1: itself to like, you know, the the global South. I

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Speaker 1: think we should you get it to the Mayo Clinic.

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Speaker 1: Well do you know what Bailey Schaeffer said? What did

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Speaker 1: Bailey Schaeffer say? Bailey Schaeffer, Senior Management Manager of Brand

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Speaker 1: Partnerships at Authentic Brands Group, owner of Juicy Velvety Smooth

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Speaker 1: DNA is something that is important to Juicycatur and craft

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Speaker 1: Real Mayo, making this partnership an unexpected yet natural fit.

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Speaker 1: You got paid to say that. I guess. I hope

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Speaker 1: I never want to hear Velvety Smooth DNA every day.

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Speaker 1: Well did you know? Okay, so like you could purchase

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Speaker 1: it exclusively at mayocatour dot com. Oh, for one hundred

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Speaker 1: and fifty bucks, and I'm writing this down. Go on

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Speaker 1: with sizes ranging from extra small to extra large. I

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Speaker 1: looked because I was going to get you one in

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Speaker 1: an extra small and it's over. Yeah. If you click

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Speaker 1: on mayocatur dot com. Yeah, I'm clicking right now, it

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Speaker 1: comes up with a big smooth on the rump. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I see it, yes, and then it says the Smooth

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Speaker 1: Lovers Collection has ended. So sorry, I'm stuck with Virginia's

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Speaker 1: for lovers collection. Sorry whatever, smooth Wow, Well Elizabeth's kind

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Speaker 1: of shows over now. I'm all smooth brains, right, welcome

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Speaker 1: to my world. Oh man, Well, if you got a second,

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Speaker 1: of course, I think I can still pull this out.

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Speaker 1: I've got a story for you. Yes please, it's mad ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: I like mad ridiculous. Yeah, like you know, we cover

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Speaker 1: a lot of con artists in this show, all right,

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Speaker 1: and this one he's kind of in a league of

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Speaker 1: his own, like this dude. He is quote the greatest

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Speaker 1: football there never to have played football. Yeah, never, the

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Speaker 1: Brazilian soccer legend Buffalo Jill. He once said, and I

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Speaker 1: quote I think he's the only person on the planet who,

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Speaker 1: for twenty six years, played football without putting on a

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Speaker 1: pair of boots. I don't think he ever went on

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Speaker 1: the pitch. He signed contracts with many clubs, but he

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Speaker 1: didn't touch the ball. He didn't even know the ball

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Speaker 1: is round. What? Yeah, this is ridiculous crime A podcast

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Speaker 1: about absurd and outrageous capers and cons. It's always murder

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Speaker 1: free and ridiculous damn right, yeah, Elizabeth, this dude reminded

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Speaker 1: me of your guy at Tilambrus. Oh yeah, run ice

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Speaker 1: hockey player who was not good at ice hockey, right,

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Speaker 1: yet he was a professional right Gules noticed broad brushstrokes

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Speaker 1: of similarity in this story. Okay, I thought you'd enjoy

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Speaker 1: this one because I know how much you like soccer,

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Speaker 1: Brazil and the Bitch all that stuff, right, I like everything. Really,

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Speaker 1: what do you know about the yogo benito? Every you

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Speaker 1: ever heard that term? I'm pronouncing very poorly Portugue. As

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Speaker 1: you'll note throughout this My Portuguese is abysmal, so just

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Speaker 1: keep that in mind. But jogo benito is in English

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Speaker 1: means the beautiful game. That sound familiar sounds okay, I figure, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So Pele, the soccer legend. He gave us this expression

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Speaker 1: and it is a nickname for football, the beautiful game

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Speaker 1: right now, the ambassador of soccer, Pele, He's a personal

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Speaker 1: hero of mine. Rip the King yep. In nineteen fifty eight,

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Speaker 1: in his first World Cup, the first one Brazil ever won,

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Speaker 1: Pile was seventeen years old and that insane, a little

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Speaker 1: bit of you know, yeah, and he scored two goals

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Speaker 1: in the final, guaranteeing victory for Brazil. By the way,

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Speaker 1: at the time, Pelee was the youngest player to ever

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Speaker 1: play in a final, youngest player to ever score in

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Speaker 1: a final. Both records still stand. Yeah, Like my dude, Pile,

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Speaker 1: he's you know, we all know, best ever, right, but

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Speaker 1: he's also he was a Brazilian and Brazilians are known

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Speaker 1: as the best ever pretty much in soccer, if not

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Speaker 1: the best among the greats, we'll say, yeah, don't don't

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Speaker 1: tell them Brits. Yeah, on the national soccer stage. And

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Speaker 1: now they soccer fans, you know, they attribute this one

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Speaker 1: quality called jinga, right, which is like the the the dance,

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Speaker 1: the life in the soccer, right, is this indescribable quality.

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Speaker 1: The Brazilians generally possessed, right, Jinga. It is how they move,

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Speaker 1: how they expressed themselves, how do they relate to the

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Speaker 1: world of others, and thus it shows up in their

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Speaker 1: soccer Right now, if you're a Brazilian kid growing up

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Speaker 1: looking up to heroes, the footballers are it, you know,

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Speaker 1: that's just like the thing in Brazil all right. Now,

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Speaker 1: this brings us to the hero of today's tale, Carlos

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Speaker 1: and Rique Raposo. I make a little more Spanish than

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Speaker 1: it is anyway. Born in April sixty three, he comes

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Speaker 1: along just in time for a peak moment in Brazil's

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Speaker 1: soccer history, right this dude, Carlos Rooso, he uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: he has a devote or the Brazilian national team. And

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Speaker 1: in Brazilian do you know their nickname, the Brazilian national team,

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Speaker 1: they are known as Knarino, which means like a little

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Speaker 1: little canary, right, And in little canary is this graceful

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Speaker 1: darting creature and it moves so beautifully and you're paying

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Speaker 1: attention to it, and then it's like oh and then

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Speaker 1: it scores again. Le right, that's like what it's like

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Speaker 1: playing in Brazil, all right. So in the history of FIFA,

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Speaker 1: Brazil it has been the most winningness, the most successful

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Speaker 1: national team of all time. They won the World Cup

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Speaker 1: five times. They've wanted on four different continents. They let's see,

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Speaker 1: they won in South America in Chile in sixty three

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Speaker 1: or sixty two. Rather, that was pale second time winning

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Speaker 1: after fifty eight where they won in Sweden. Then they

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Speaker 1: won in Asia in two thousand and two more recently,

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Speaker 1: and then they also won twice in North America, once

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Speaker 1: in Mexico City and once in the USA in nineteen

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Speaker 1: ninety four. Right, yeah, we were around for the right

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Speaker 1: kind of You were in California for the World Cup

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Speaker 1: in ninety four. Not think it was about seventy eight

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Speaker 1: years old then, Okay, so you remember the fever. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've had fevers. It was it was a new experience

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Speaker 1: for America to have World Cup fever at that time.

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Speaker 1: We've gotten a lot better about it since then. But

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Speaker 1: you know, everyone else in the world knows that little

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Speaker 1: dance that Brazil's gonna do when they score in your face,

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Speaker 1: right right, yeah, then this is the dream that my man,

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Speaker 1: Carlos Enrique Roposo grew up wanting to become a part of.

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Speaker 1: This is just this swagger this inimitable style that is

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Speaker 1: Brazil and he wanted to embody that. So what does

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Speaker 1: he do. He decides, Oh, I'm gonna go I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get good at soccer like some of the other kids.

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Speaker 1: And he gets good enough that he's on a professional

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Speaker 1: club's youth team. And at the age of ten, you

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Speaker 1: know that's really right, So he's pretty darn good. Later on,

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Speaker 1: a friend gets him a tryout and he goes and

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Speaker 1: he competes for a spot on one of Rio's Big

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Speaker 1: four teams on the youth league. Right around the same time,

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Speaker 1: he earns this nickname that will stick with him for life,

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Speaker 1: the nickname Kaiser. So he becomes Carlos Kaiser. Now Kaiser, Like,

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Speaker 1: why Kaiser? Is it for the Kaiser role, you know,

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Speaker 1: the delicious Kaiser role? No? No, is it for the

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Speaker 1: Kaiser of Germany? Perhaps the Czar of Russia, or if

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Speaker 1: you want to be historical, Agustus Caesar, right the original.

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Speaker 1: Now interestingly bringing up Augustus Caesar, I think once you

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Speaker 1: caught the Roman emperor up to speed on a few things,

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Speaker 1: like you explained to him airplanes, the internet, the continental

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Speaker 1: South America. And once you explained to him soccer, the

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Speaker 1: game of soccer. I think Augustus Caesar would have been

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Speaker 1: a big fan of Carlos Kaiser probably, do you know

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Speaker 1: why No, because what he did for their family name Elizabeth. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he's not really a family name, but you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. Carlos Kaiser basically did the same thing that

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Speaker 1: Augustus Caesar did. He took the power of a story

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Speaker 1: and he used that to win the game that he

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Speaker 1: was involved in, this case, the beautiful game Caesar was,

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Speaker 1: you know, imperial games, but always the power of a story.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, Carlos Kaiser he earns this Roman nickname as

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Speaker 1: a kid because there's this legendary German football or the

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Speaker 1: day Franz Beckenbauer, right, and this dude's nickname King Beckenbauer

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Speaker 1: or in German Kaiser Beckenbauer. Right. So this guy Kaiser Beckenbauer,

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Speaker 1: he becomes somebody that all the kids knew about because

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Speaker 1: he's just an epic player. He played for at the

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Speaker 1: time where Germany. He was a sweeper, so they were

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Speaker 1: just like, this guy's the you know, the bee's knees

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Speaker 1: as you would say. And then in Raposo and Carlos

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Speaker 1: Kaiser's language, I will quote from him. He says, Kaiser

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Speaker 1: was given to me because other players compared me to Beckenbauer,

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Speaker 1: Kaiser the king of German football, the peelee of German football. They,

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Speaker 1: not me, thought that the way I played was similar

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Speaker 1: to Beckenbauer. I didn't give myself the Kaiser mantled the

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Speaker 1: Kaiser title. They made it up for me because I

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Speaker 1: had something. See, he was given a nickname. He didn't

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Speaker 1: try and create a nickname. Are you looking at me

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Speaker 1: like that? I'm not just you know, I'm sitting here

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Speaker 1: facing the wall like always. Well as some of his friends,

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Speaker 1: we call this U appellation giving time a little differently.

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Speaker 1: They're like, like, that's not why we called Kaiser bro,

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Speaker 1: And he's like so apparently, from what I discovered is

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Speaker 1: some people called him that because there was this beer

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Speaker 1: called Kaiser and he liked it a lot. Carlos Kaiser

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Speaker 1: over here like Bob Budweiser. But apparently that was also

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Speaker 1: maybe not exactly the story. Some people other friends said,

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Speaker 1: Oh no, it's just because he looked like the bottle,

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Speaker 1: the really distinctive shape. It was this low squat bottle

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Speaker 1: like Obohemias or they're like, yeah, that looks like you. Man,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna call you that Carlos Geyser anyway, Carlos Geyser,

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Speaker 1: King Carlos. That's how he gets his name. He plays

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Speaker 1: with the guy Jimmy Knightrain. Yes, they say that because

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Speaker 1: I run so fast, says so at six team I

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Speaker 1: do Carlos Geyser. He gets a tryout for a Brazilian

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Speaker 1: professional club. Right A scout spots him and he's like,

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Speaker 1: oh man, now this scout is there to see some

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Speaker 1: other player, but he notices that's this one athletic striker,

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Speaker 1: really tall, the kid with the memorable nickname Carlos Kaiser.

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Speaker 1: He gets hired. They send him off to Mexico to

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Speaker 1: play for a professional team. Okay, now, hiring a Brazilian

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Speaker 1: football star that's a certain kind of cache, right, But

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Speaker 1: having a Brazilian kid phenom come over to your club,

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Speaker 1: that's like a whole other level. So Carlos Kaiser recognizes that.

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Speaker 1: He leans into it, right, So he adds off to Mexico,

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Speaker 1: turned pro and I'm talking like he's like, I'm a footballer, right.

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Speaker 1: So years later, in a Brazilian newspaper Global, Carlos Kaiser

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Speaker 1: was quoted and I had to Google translate this, so

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Speaker 1: this may not be exactly what it would sound about

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Speaker 1: it in Portuguese, but in English it says like every player.

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Speaker 1: I came from a poor family, but I wanted to

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Speaker 1: grow earn money to provide a better condition for my family,

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Speaker 1: and I knew that the best way to accelerate this

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Speaker 1: would be through football. I wanted to be a player,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't want to play. Oh yeah, so you

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Speaker 1: may be wondering, Zaren, what did he want? Great question.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious, and I quote from him. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be among the other players. I just didn't want to play.

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Speaker 1: It's everybody else's problem if they want me to be

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Speaker 1: a footballer. Not even Jesus pleased everybody, Why would I?

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Speaker 1: You gotta love him, Comparing them those like off the

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Speaker 1: get job. He's like Jesus and I We're just all, hey,

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Speaker 1: we're doing the best we can. But consider me and

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Speaker 1: consider Jesus. You'll note similarities. Now ask yourself, are we

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Speaker 1: asking too much of them? So Carlos, guys, are you know?

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Speaker 1: He notices you know in his game He's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm good enough to get attention from a scout. I'm

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Speaker 1: good enough to you know, possibly make it pro, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not good enough to become a footballer. So instead

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Speaker 1: he becomes an air quote footballer and we make it pro,

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Speaker 1: but not become a footballer. Yeah. So what I mean

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Speaker 1: by that is like a football would be like the

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Speaker 1: stars and they'd be like, oh right. He knew he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be He could maybe make it as like for

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Speaker 1: a couple of years until he got injured or whatever.

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Speaker 1: He didn't want to do that, but he wanted to

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Speaker 1: have a career as a football star. He wanted to

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Speaker 1: be a footballer like he looked up to as a kid.

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Speaker 1: He's like, how do I do that? Yeah? Without playing?

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Speaker 1: That was the big question. So he's like, okay, No,

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Speaker 1: what I mean by that is the dude he would

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Speaker 1: wear the boots, you know, the cleats he would wear.

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Speaker 1: The kid. He would have a track suit on that

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Speaker 1: had the team name on it. He would travel with

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Speaker 1: the team. He would be there on the bus with them.

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Speaker 1: He would be there at practice, he'd be there at games.

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Speaker 1: He was a professional football player. They signed checks to him,

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Speaker 1: but he was always, you know, really just an air

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Speaker 1: quotes footballer in his mind. So like, Okay, in Brazil,

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Speaker 1: you're like, what, every third kid wants to be a

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Speaker 1: footballer there, and I don't understand how could he pull

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Speaker 1: this off? Like how could he hold a spot and

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Speaker 1: specifically do this in Brazil? Well, yeah, these are all

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Speaker 1: important questions, and I think that you know, having read

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Speaker 1: through this story, I think the key is, first, out

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Speaker 1: of everything, you have to be Brazilian. Yeah, there's no

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Speaker 1: way you're doing this without being Brazilian. That's super helpful. Next,

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Speaker 1: you need to be specifically from Rio, also helpful. But

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm out of the running on this. Both

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Speaker 1: of us, we don't stand a chance in this race.

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Speaker 1: But the people from Rio do and the people from

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Speaker 1: Rio they are called kariokas right now, the karyokas that

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Speaker 1: that is, they're known for this casual, fun and flirty

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Speaker 1: sonny every to day, I wear a bikini kind of

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Speaker 1: life exactly, and like, yeah, you're throwing a little samba

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Speaker 1: and sex. You're like, okay, now I got to kariokas

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Speaker 1: slinky exactly. Now, the Kariokas, when they talk about a

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Speaker 1: fellow karyokas, they're like, oh, it's the one who has

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Speaker 1: that sense of dance. In life and it's just like

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Speaker 1: ready to party, fully sexy and confident, always just ready

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Speaker 1: to grab hold of it. And that Elizabeth was King Carlos,

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Speaker 1: So you know, he was also a player's player. He

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Speaker 1: wasn't say karokas kariokas. He was a player's player. So

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Speaker 1: for one, he wasn't competing with anyone for a spot.

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Speaker 1: Everybody loved that. He's like, I don't want that. He

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Speaker 1: didn't care if he got the ball, so there was

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Speaker 1: no like personality clashes. Yeah, he didn't care if he scored.

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Speaker 1: That wasn't a problem for him. He was never in

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Speaker 1: a bad boot in the locker room because it didn't

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Speaker 1: have matter to him if they won or if they lost,

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Speaker 1: how he did, none of that effected him there for

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Speaker 1: the free jersey much. All he wanted to do was

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Speaker 1: be a professional soccer player like the dude. Alexander Torres,

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Speaker 1: who was the son of Carlos Alberto Torres, was a

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Speaker 1: Brazilian legend, captain of the team won in nineteen seventy

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Speaker 1: World Cup. He his son remembers Carlos Kaiser being in

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Speaker 1: different clubhouses and he said he told us to the guarding.

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Speaker 1: He said quote he created a fun, happy and lighthearted mood.

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Speaker 1: He would tell stories and he would get players dreaming.

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Speaker 1: I think that's why everybody liked him so much. It's

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Speaker 1: a really likable guy. He's just a vibe check. He

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Speaker 1: is a floating vibe check. Right. So another Brazilian football legend,

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Speaker 1: Richard Rocco. Right, Ricardo Rocco, he said to the Brazilian

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Speaker 1: paper Globe, which I quote it before. He said, he's

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Speaker 1: a friend of ours, a great person, extraordinary human being.

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Speaker 1: But he didn't play cards. His problem was the ball.

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Speaker 1: I've never seen a play anywhere. He has a Forrest

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Speaker 1: Gump of Brazilian football. But this is weird because Forrest

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Speaker 1: Gump actually did think so. Carlos did not do anything exactly,

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Speaker 1: but he's always there. I think that's really his point

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Speaker 1: is he was just there. Now you have to also understand, Elizabeth,

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Speaker 1: if you're going to try to be a professional footballer

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Speaker 1: and not play football, you're like, okay, well, occasionally I

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Speaker 1: have to, like, you know, deliver on the promise. So

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Speaker 1: how does he deliver? Well, it's a good question and

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Speaker 1: I have an answer for you. Oh yeah, you're ready. Yeah, So,

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Speaker 1: Alexander Torre said, Tea tells us worry about the time

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Speaker 1: his dad, who is you know, like I said, the

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Speaker 1: captain of the World Cup team. He was trying to

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Speaker 1: get this hotel room between Christmas and New Year's and

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Speaker 1: he wanted to be on this slanky resort in on

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Speaker 1: an exclusive island the Caribbean. And he was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's possible. And Carlos Kaiser hears. He's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I could get you in that room. And he's like, no, man,

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Speaker 1: nobody like I am the captain of the nobody can

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Speaker 1: get this. He's like, I could get it for you.

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Speaker 1: He's like, no, really, get it for me. Carlos leaves

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Speaker 1: the room. He goes out, dude, here comes up and

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Speaker 1: he goes like, hey, all of a sudden, it comes walking.

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Speaker 1: I got the room for you. You got a five

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Speaker 1: days stay. He's like, how the hell. He's like, I

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Speaker 1: know a guy. So that's Carlos. Occasionally he had to

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Speaker 1: come through. Occasionally he had to deliver. He knows, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he can't all be show you know, hey, he knew

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Speaker 1: a guy exactly. No, Elizabeth, I'm gonna get further into

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Speaker 1: Carlos Kaiser and how he pushed the envelope of being

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Speaker 1: a professional football player who doesn't play football. Right, But uh,

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Speaker 1: let's just take a break, okay, and then I'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it and and I'll tell you how he wins

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Speaker 1: a championship and how he also eventually becomes friends with

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Speaker 1: gangsters and ends up in a bunga bunga party with

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Speaker 1: Silvio Berlusconi. Oh yeah, this is got Kirby Road. Oh wow, okay,

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Speaker 1: and we're back. King Carlos the soccer star would never

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Speaker 1: played right. I was just coming at you, do you know,

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Speaker 1: by the way, I wore my Paris San Germaine sweatshirt today,

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Speaker 1: totally out of chance. I had no idea what you're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk. I was going to comment on that. I

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Speaker 1: was like, dude, you came with the thing. I'm really impressed.

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Speaker 1: Look at you. Well, Elizabeth, I want to talk more

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Speaker 1: about professional soccer and being a king of slack. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: So my dude, Carlos Kaiser, you may be wondering, Zaren,

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Speaker 1: I just don't get it. How can you play professional

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Speaker 1: soccer for twenty six years and not play professional soccer?

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Speaker 1: This just is a very good question. Yeah, it's a buffuttlement. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm here to unbefuttle you. He's like the he's like

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Speaker 1: the mascot. Maybe kind of it gets a little stickier

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Speaker 1: than that. But okay, if you go digging into this story,

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Speaker 1: which I did, you'll find that most of the news

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Speaker 1: stories quote from the same documentary. And so rather than

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Speaker 1: quote all those news stories, I have been directly to

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Speaker 1: the source. And so I watched the documentary. Is this

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Speaker 1: movie called Kaiser with an exclamation point, the greatest football

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Speaker 1: or to never play the game. So in twenty fifteen,

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Speaker 1: these three British filmmakers, they hear about this story. It's

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Speaker 1: been bubbling up in the soccer world for years. People

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Speaker 1: could have heard about it. But in twenty twenty thirteen,

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Speaker 1: Carlos Kaiser he goes out and starts to doing press.

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Speaker 1: He's retired from his professional soccer career. At this point,

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Speaker 1: he's about ten years, you know, past retirement, and now

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Speaker 1: he's ready to go on TV and brag about how

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Speaker 1: he conned the whole professional soccer world and never played

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Speaker 1: a single game. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna go flex

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Speaker 1: on y'all. Don't tell anybody. Yeah. So, now this is

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Speaker 1: not a exactly true though, because out of his twenty

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Speaker 1: six year career. He did show up on the pitch

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Speaker 1: from what I can gather, thirty times. Oh okay, so

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Speaker 1: he was forced out onto the field thirty times against

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Speaker 1: his will. Now in that time he generated no stats,

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Speaker 1: He scored no goals. He was like a forward, a center.

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Speaker 1: He could have been involved in scoring. He was nothing. Right.

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Speaker 1: So when the British filmmakers hear about this soccer star

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Speaker 1: who's done nothing, I gotta go talk to him. And

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Speaker 1: thank god they did, because now we have this king

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Speaker 1: of laziness and his words. He tells us his own stories,

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Speaker 1: so we don't just speculate, we can go right to

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Speaker 1: the source. Also, by the way, I recommend this documentary

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Speaker 1: once again Kaiser the greatest footballer who never played a game.

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Speaker 1: That sounds amazing. To quote Carlos Kaiser. He was like

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Speaker 1: trying to explain to them his whole like the Tao

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Speaker 1: of Carlos. Yeah, and he says, and I quote, this

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Speaker 1: is the story of an anti footballer. I want you

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Speaker 1: to use that phrase, the anti footballer. I didn't play,

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Speaker 1: I didn't score, I didn't kick a ball. It's not

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Speaker 1: the story of the star player or the guy who

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Speaker 1: did everything. No it's the story of the anti footballer.

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Speaker 1: I just love bad term for some reason. He can't

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Speaker 1: take football. That's importantism. Exactly, there's the punisher, there's the anti.

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Speaker 1: So anyone who knew soccer and he got a chance

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Speaker 1: to see him up close, they could tell this man

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Speaker 1: is the anti footballer. Right, They're like, he has no skills, right,

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Speaker 1: like Carlos Albert Alberto Torres, the captain of the team,

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Speaker 1: he said once I knew immediately he didn't have all

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Speaker 1: the qualities he claimed to have, just like on site. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's not him. But you know. Torres also said of

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Speaker 1: King Carlos and I quote, I don't know if anybody

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Speaker 1: who was a story showing Kaiser as untrustworthy. So everyone's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, he's a liar, but I love him, but

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Speaker 1: I trust him. Yeah, what are you gonna do now?

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Speaker 1: The dude was a harmless criminal. He was a good

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Speaker 1: time Charlie, or if you prefer a good time Carlos. No,

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Speaker 1: like he was of the opinion like, look, let others

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Speaker 1: chase the glory, the recognition, the literal goals. That is

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Speaker 1: not for Carlos. You know, what does Carlos want? He

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Speaker 1: just wants to be seen as a soccer star. So

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Speaker 1: he knew that that's what's what he had to do.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, Okay, I'm going to pattern myself after

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Speaker 1: the professionals. And he was in luck because there was

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Speaker 1: already a guy named Carlos Enrique who was a professional

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Speaker 1: soccer player who looks like him. He could just be like, oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: look see I'm in the newspaper. Look here, I played

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Speaker 1: in this game. So that's how he gets his first start.

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Speaker 1: He's like, oh, I'll just but this other guy, this

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Speaker 1: second Carlos he was He was an Argentine, not a Brazilian.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, you know, how's your Spanish.

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Speaker 1: Oh I didn't pick up much, you know, like I

418
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 1: was over there playing, but I can't speak that crazy language,

419
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,120
Speaker 1: but I speak football, yeah, exactly, the international langual of kick.

420
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 1: So you know the newspaper clippings, he's using those to

421
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: get over on people. But that's not enough, but it

422
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 1: is kind of enough because at this time it's important

423
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 1: to remember there's no Internet. There's no way to corroborate

424
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 1: anything he's saying, right, Like, unless you were at the game,

425
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 1: you can't say if he played or not because in

426
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: the newspaper, it says right there, Well, and you know,

427
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 1: if he tells people and they're kind of suspicious, it's

428
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: not it's not worth it to then say I'm going

429
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,440
Speaker 1: to call someone I know and who care? People did they?

430
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,159
Speaker 1: And also it was a different culture, so people are

431
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,360
Speaker 1: used to taking someone's word for it. Yeah, and Carlos

432
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:13,880
Speaker 1: is like, oh, I'm in luck. I have no word.

433
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: I kind of wish that even with the Internet, we

434
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: just didn't care enough to investigate a lot of things,

435
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,119
Speaker 1: says the person I call the special investigator because of

436
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: what she does on the internet. Special investigator. Well, special investigator,

437
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: I too regret the loss of like, oh, curiosity being

438
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 1: something that can be satisfied by a library, right, yeah, definitely,

439
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 1: what are we going to do? Yeah? I want I

440
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 1: want people to stay curious. I think that's one of

441
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,439
Speaker 1: the most important things I think for anybody. Yes, but

442
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: at the same time, I don't want anyone questioning what

443
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 1: I tell you. Just leave it. Just leave it be

444
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: where Jesus playing its right exactly. So, my dude, like

445
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: Carlos Kaiser. Another big component of how he was able

446
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,919
Speaker 1: to convince everyone he was a professional soccer player is it.

447
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: He looked so much like a professional soccer players. I

448
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: told you one there was already a professional soccer player

449
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 1: who he kind of resembled, but just on site alone,

450
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: the dude was in fantastic shape. Did he have a mullet? Yes, okay,

451
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: there it is. Yeah, we're getting into that there. It

452
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: has a confidence, the swagger, the mullet of our pro footballer. Right.

453
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 1: And if he took off his shirt and he was

454
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,359
Speaker 1: with a bunch of our footballers who also had their

455
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 1: shirts off, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

456
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, that guy was just like these other guys, right,

457
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 1: so he's not like super out of shape, and like, no,

458
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 1: I mean he's and he was like even soccer players

459
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: like market really fit, you know for soccer players. They

460
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 1: were like, man, he can outrun me on the right. Okay,

461
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 1: So the guy was just a physical specimen, right, And

462
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,919
Speaker 1: and you throughout the documentary people are always asking, I mean,

463
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: how could he look like that and not be good

464
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: at soccer? That's like okay, okay, you know people are

465
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: there like, look, he looks like something. It should be

466
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: that And yeah, this is what con artists count on,

467
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,159
Speaker 1: which is like oh, it looks like the thing it

468
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 1: must be. Told me that you told me a long

469
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 1: time ago. Once they when you were in Europe, people

470
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: mistook you for a soccer player. Always yeah, now except

471
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 1: people are fantastic legs, those gams. You gotta be a

472
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: soccer Sorry, sorry, you're cast. I have to I have

473
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: to ask you a question. Do you play professional soccer? No? No,

474
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: Carlos Guyser, he knows basically as all good con artists do.

475
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: He's like, I gotta just if I can get the

476
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: look right, people aren't going to question that because that'll

477
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: tell it right. So, as one teammate said, he would

478
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: prance around in swimming trunks, flicking his long hair around because,

479
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: like you, he knew, I gotta get that mullet. So

480
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: he grows the mullet out and he's like, you know,

481
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: like super fit, And he was always wearing like the

482
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: Oakley blades and doing everything he needed. He would totally

483
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 1: look like a soccer player as long as there was

484
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 1: no ball. No, Like that's like a Ricardo Rocco, the

485
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 1: Brazilian legend. He said he only had one problem the ball.

486
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 1: He was good at everything, but the ball was makes

487
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,199
Speaker 1: it hard to be its soccer. Yeah, because that's kind

488
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 1: of the only thing you need. It's kind of the focus.

489
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: But whatever. So he had a way to get around

490
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 1: this though. So his idea was, I'll just stay away

491
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 1: from the ball. So he would be out there on

492
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: scrimmage and practice, I'll suited up running around in total fit,

493
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: you know, and he'd use that to his bandage. Nobody

494
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: else wanted to run. He'd run all over the field.

495
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: I mean, so if the soccer ball was on the

496
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: left side, he would run to the right. The soccer

497
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: ball was on the attack, he go cover defense. It

498
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 1: was on defense, he'd go on the attack. So he

499
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: just made sure that he was never near the ball.

500
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: Right back once again, Ricardo Rooca, he tells the guardian

501
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: he was everywhere the ball wasn't If the ball was

502
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: in the middle, he would be in the defense. If

503
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: the balls in the defense, he'd be in the attack.

504
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 1: After the game, I tell him, Kaiser, you never touched

505
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 1: the ball, he said, Ricardo, I have a unique style

506
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: of play. So you know, he had he had answers, right,

507
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: So this is good, Like when you're on the pitch

508
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: right running and looking like a soccer player. He knew

509
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,199
Speaker 1: how to do that, and so he also did that

510
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: when he was off the pitch, and yeah, well not quiet,

511
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 1: but he was like, I can be a convinced look alike.

512
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: So he basically it's like, it's like, I'm gonna need

513
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 1: something though, to pattern the tao of Carlos my whole

514
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: vibe on right. So he picks another Brazilian star, this

515
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 1: right wing, Hanato Porto Loupe. Hanato port Loupe is better

516
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 1: known by his nickname. The dude was so cool they

517
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: called him gaucho, which is cowboy, So his name is

518
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 1: basically Hanato cowboy. Okay, so Hanato cowboys like the one.

519
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, I gotta be like an auto cowboy.

520
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: So then Hanado is like a baller's baller. He leads

521
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: his Brazilian team to a World Club championship, and he

522
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 1: does all of this, by the way, looking like pure

523
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:36,239
Speaker 1: uncut grade a nineteen eighties beefcake. This guy looks like

524
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 1: Fabio with soccer cleareas. Oh dude, he's he He loves

525
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: a good banana hammock. Oh no, oh yes, like he

526
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: would rock a speedo and a pair of like Oakley blades,

527
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: and that's pretty much anywhere heretic. If he went to

528
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: the bank, he would just like go to the bank. Yes,

529
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 1: Like I watched him do numerous interviews just wearing a

530
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: speedo and blade. If he's not near a pool or

531
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: a beach, Yes, he was full tilt rio like he

532
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,400
Speaker 1: was so rio. Doctors were like, you're gonna get an

533
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: STD or maybe spawn one. I don't know, still dressed

534
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: like that self respect, I don't know. So Carlos Guiser

535
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: looks at this guy and he's like, I want to

536
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 1: be like that Fabio beefcake over there. And he's like, okay,

537
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 1: so I can do that. I'm gonna become the man

538
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: like him. This man already exists. And so he's like, oh,

539
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: that's when my rain starts. I became Ana Thos clone right,

540
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: so now also Hanado, he's the opposite of Carlos Kaiser.

541
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 1: He's a total goer. He's everywhere on the pitch. He

542
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 1: plays harder than anybody else. He's the first one at practice.

543
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: He scores a lot, right man among men, not the gaucho.

544
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: And he's like, that's who I'm gonna be. Like it's

545
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: just like you don't like to move do anything. But

546
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: he's like I can do the look so yeah, like

547
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: the vibe of it, Yes, please, I got that down, queen.

548
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: So he's like, he gets it all up. The sunglasses,

549
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 1: the long wavy hair, the devil make care attitude of course,

550
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,959
Speaker 1: the banana hammet, and he's like, okay, no, and I quote,

551
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: all of you abroad may have only just heard of him,

552
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: but for us here he is a legend. Now the

553
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: person talking is Hanato Gaucho talking about Carlos Kaiser. What yes, Now,

554
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 1: you may be wondering, how could this be? That was

555
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: quite the table for the switcher, right. So it turns

556
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: out the two men have a lot in common. They

557
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: became friends, close friends once they actually met in person.

558
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: But first he was out there causing Hanato lots of trouble.

559
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: So I quote, I got in trouble at home with

560
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 1: my wife because a lot of people would say to her,

561
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: Hanato was in this place. Anato was drinking there, Hanato

562
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: was with a woman. And it wasn't me. I was

563
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: a training camp. It was Kaiser. So Kaiser's going around

564
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: pretending single white female. He's literally telling people he's Anato.

565
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: He's not just like looking like him. He's going up

566
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: to tell him he one time he went to a

567
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: bar told the bouncer he was a Nato. The guy's like,

568
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: oh man, you gotta he brings a band, he tells

569
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: the owner. Owners all excited. Five minutes later, the real

570
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,239
Speaker 1: Hanato shows up and the bouncer's like, okay, what are

571
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 1: you doing here. He's like, oh, the owner sent me

572
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: here to like I was supposed to come and party.

573
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 1: He's like, okay, well who are you. He's like, Hanato Gaucho.

574
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: He's like, come on, bro. The real Henato's inside already.

575
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: He's like, what are you talking about. He's with an entourage. Entourage.

576
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: He's like, this is Anato gaucho, you know, Like I

577
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: don't know. He's like, man, come on, what I look

578
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: like an idiot? Hanato Gaucho. He's already inside, and he's like,

579
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 1: can you do me a favor? Show me this Anato gaucho.

580
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: He goes inside and there is Carlos. Guys are sitting

581
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: at a table with all these beautiful women drinking wine,

582
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: being a Nato gaucho, and he's like, so you or me,

583
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: and the two become friends. So they didn't make Carlos

584
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: go back and apologize and pay back the drinks. No,

585
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: not like my story. No no, not like that. He

586
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: didn't have the Marley family luck. But anyway, So to

587
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: finish this story with Hanato, he started, he starts saying,

588
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: he's like, I started hearing all these stories about me.

589
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: This guy slept with women pretending to be you. He's

590
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: doing this or that he's doing well off your name.

591
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: So what does Anato Gaucho do. I kind of give

592
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: you a hint. When he meets them, He's like, cool

593
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 1: with it, right, No, it's beyond that, because Anado Gauchos said,

594
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: I said, if the guy's doing well, let him unless

595
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: he's stealing or attacking someone, let him do it all right.

596
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: So he's like, if he's getting his wick wet off

597
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 1: of my name, I don't care. It's it's funny. Who

598
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: cares exactly? I mean, because he was basically using he's

599
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 1: sleeping with five six women a night as Hanato Gaucho. Goodness,

600
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: oh yeah, and some of the women were paying him,

601
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: but like it was like a whole thing. So women

602
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: were paying him, paying him to sleep with Hanauto Gaucho,

603
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 1: like Hanauto Gauchos now with Gjiggolo and they're like, okay, cool.

604
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 1: So he didn't care that he was treating him like

605
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: as like an ATM, a sex ATM. And he's like

606
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: whatever anyway, But I like Hanato Gaucho's rule of like, look,

607
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 1: if he's not hurting anybody, he's not attacking people, not

608
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: stealing anything, let him use my name to get lucky.

609
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: By the way, this is also my rule. If anyone's

610
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 1: using my name pretending be me, I say, let him

611
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 1: her them. And of course, you know this has never

612
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: actually happened to me. No one's ever used my name

613
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: to get laid. But if they do that, you know,

614
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: of I've got the same rule of Snato. Okay, good,

615
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: So just putting that out there anyway. So fake football

616
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 1: or Carlos Guyser, He's like, okay, this is my new thing,

617
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,080
Speaker 1: b Hanato. So he decides, but I can't obviously be

618
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: Hanato because Hanatos now my friends. So he decides, I

619
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: will be Carlos Kaiser, the professional football much like Hanato.

620
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: So he decides, you know exactly, So he goes and

621
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 1: he gets his friend, who is a legit footballer over

622
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: in Corsica in France, right, and this guy is like

623
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: on a team, the whole bit. So he's like, hey, man,

624
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: borrow some of your kid. He's like, yeah, sure, why not. Yeah,

625
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, by the way, I got a camera,

626
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: do you want to take on a picture of me?

627
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: So he goes out and he goes like on this

628
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: like you know, practice course, and they take basically a

629
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: photo shoot this friend Fabinho. He lets him wear his

630
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 1: practice jersey, his jersey for the team for games, his

631
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 1: some of his warm up kit. He and he ends

632
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: up taking so many photos it looks like a record

633
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: of a full season as a French footballer. Oh no,

634
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: like him sprinting or like him staying there laughing and

635
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 1: I'm like calling for the ball and like waving to

636
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 1: people little fully. It's like you know some people do

637
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: like those Instagram photos where they act out a moment. Yeah,

638
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: he's doing that. I love seeing that in a while,

639
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: but people fake laughing. So he was doing that before

640
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: we knew what it was. And so now that he's like,

641
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: you know, become a footballer, he's like, okay, now I'm

642
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: gonna go and I'm exactly what I want to be.

643
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: I am a soccer starry everyone can see in this photo.

644
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: So he then does you know, he goes abroad and

645
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: pretends to go abroad in France. He then takes these

646
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: photos to the Brazilian teams and he does the reverse

647
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 1: of what most people do. He's like, oh, I've been

648
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,479
Speaker 1: abroad doing so well. They're like, ooh, can I get

649
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: a tryout on your team? So he gets a tryout

650
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 1: on Brazilian teams by playing internationally that he never played,

651
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 1: and his resume is just pictures, like just pictures, and

652
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 1: then like him telling stories of being like at this team,

653
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: and he's like, now he gets hired at this club.

654
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: And then after his contract is up, it's like a

655
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 1: three month contract, he goes he signs with another club

656
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: and then he does this and he leaves that club

657
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: and because you know, he won't play, so they're like,

658
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: we're gonna get rid of you. Then he goes to

659
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: another club, and another club, and another club. He just

660
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: keeps going to clubs and every time it's the same thing.

661
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 1: He signs his contract, he takes a cash advance, he

662
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: does a round of press, he gets some fresh news

663
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: clippings with his name and his picture in them, and

664
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 1: then he goes out. He fakes an injury and he

665
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 1: rides the bench until his contracts do he goes to

666
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 1: a new club, wash rinse repeat, Wow. Yeah, it's pretty genius.

667
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,279
Speaker 1: So dude, And he was defiant about it, he said,

668
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: he said in the documentary, and I quote the clubs

669
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 1: I've been at probably won't admit it because I was

670
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,840
Speaker 1: a disappointment for them. But clubs screw so many people

671
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,839
Speaker 1: over that somebody had to trick the clubs. Yeah, they

672
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: couldn't fire me. I mean, how do you explain that

673
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: you signed some player that didn't work out. You can't

674
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: sell them. You'll be devaluing all your assets. All the

675
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 1: teams I went to celebrated twice when I signed and

676
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: again when I left. So in the nineteen eighties, Rio

677
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 1: de Nijaneira has four top soccer clubs. There's Flasco Da Gama, Fluminense,

678
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: Botafogo and Flamenco. All right, and Carlos Kaiser played for

679
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: all four. All four. It's like playing for PSG Marca,

680
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 1: you know. Again, So he's out there. How in the

681
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: name of Brazilian soccer was he able to fool that

682
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: many coaches and scouts in press age and directors and

683
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: presidents In a word, yes, just yes, yes, Now how

684
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 1: he did it was remarkable and I will get all

685
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:30,359
Speaker 1: into that after this break. Nice all right, Elizabeth, We're

686
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: now at the heights of Brazilian soccer. We're talking the

687
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 1: big clubs. Now, my dude, Carlos Kaiser he played for Flamengo,

688
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 1: which is like the biggest Brazilian club, forty million fans,

689
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 1: legends like Zico Romario, they all played for Flamenco legendary team. Right.

690
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 1: He also played for the big clubs. I mentioned Vasco

691
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 1: da Gama, both Flogo, he played for them, but a

692
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 1: few times, like Carlos Kaiser, he can't even be certain.

693
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,280
Speaker 1: And he said in the documentary I was on Botfogo

694
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 1: two or three times. Wait. So he would leave and

695
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: they'd be like good ridden and then they bring wait,

696
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: I've been playing for so and have you gotten any better?

697
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 1: Sometimes he'd be on this, like on like three or

698
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: four different clubs in the same calendar year. So he's

699
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: just rotating through teams. There's so many teams he's just

700
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: bouncing around. They can't even keep track. Was he playing

701
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 1: on like more than one at the same time. He

702
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,399
Speaker 1: never did that because he doesn't want to work. Would

703
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 1: go against his spirit. But he'd be on a team

704
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,839
Speaker 1: for like three months here, five months there, four months

705
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,240
Speaker 1: over here, right until the calendar year. Then he started

706
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 1: over and you'd go, look at all my press clippics. No. No,

707
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 1: for some reason, for whatever reason, somebody actually wanted to

708
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 1: see him play a game, and he was like, how

709
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: am I gonna get out of this? Well, then he

710
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: would just usually like fake a phone call from family.

711
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: He'd be like, oh, my grandmother just died, and apparently

712
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 1: his grandmother died multiple Like I didn't know he had

713
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 1: eight grand She was a very woman. When I was teaching,

714
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: I had a lot of grandma's feel bad. I thought

715
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 1: maybe I was a curse. A lot of babies in

716
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: the hospital and a a lot of dead grandmas. That's bleak.

717
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 1: It's very especially when you have a student who fails

718
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 1: you multiple times and they've lost like six grandparents. How

719
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: many grandpar I'm on step mama two and three now? No,

720
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 1: But you know what if I always figured if you

721
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: have to like debase yourself that much to lie about it,

722
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: and that I look at that as sort of like

723
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,399
Speaker 1: very bad luck to say those kind of things. I'm

724
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: gonna let you run your game. You want to put

725
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,320
Speaker 1: that in the universe, that's on your fine. Yeah, exactly.

726
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 1: Well let's see Carlos Kaiser. Yes, for his soccer position,

727
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 1: in case you were wondering, center forward. I think I

728
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 1: kind of mentioned this before. Yeah, so goal scoring wasn't

729
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 1: expected of a center forward. Predominantly, your wings are going

730
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: to be your big scores. So he could basically run

731
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,720
Speaker 1: around on the pitch forever and nobody would notice. Yeah,

732
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 1: so that was one thing he picked the perfect position

733
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 1: other than goal leaf. You don't want to do, but

734
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 1: even goalie has to do more key moments. He's like, Okay,

735
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 1: I'm not lazy. I just don't want to run around

736
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: so much, but you know I will if I have to.

737
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 1: So you know how like soccer players are always flopping

738
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 1: and flailing on the pitch and then they ride around

739
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 1: like somebody shot them, right, Okay, Well, Carlos Kaiser fit

740
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: right in with soccer players. He was like a soccer players,

741
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,720
Speaker 1: soccer player when it came to fly dat Oh my god.

742
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 1: He was apparently like like the high water mark for flailing,

743
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 1: the Brazilian legend Barbato. He said he was always faking something.

744
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: His whole injury charade was amazing. He was always faking

745
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: injured ankle, injured thigh. He'd snap attendon, so he'd be

746
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: like out in practice fifteen minutes in all of a sudden,

747
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: he's grabbing at his thigh going down like I've been

748
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 1: shot and got me again. Yeah, exactly. Also and was like,

749
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 1: so what really allowed him to go for broke and

750
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: stretch his non playing professional career for decades was that

751
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: he went international. Eventually, King Carlos takes his show on

752
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 1: the road. He gets the hell out of Brazil because

753
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: he had to like cool down the heat sometimes. Yeah,

754
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: so he would go and he'd take the value places

755
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 1: where the value being Brazilian is far higher, so he'd go.

756
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: He played Mexico, he played in the US and El Paso.

757
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: He played in Japan, he played in Saudi Arabia, France.

758
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: He played in Pair Saint Germain. Huh kidding. Yeah, he'd

759
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: be like, I would sign a contract and then take

760
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,720
Speaker 1: the cash advance, so it didn't matter if the salary

761
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: came in or not. I was not one of those

762
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 1: players that sees out his three year contract. The idea

763
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 1: was to get out as quickly as possible. Yeah, he

764
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: was basically like Converse All Stars, he would he would

765
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: re emerge against somewhere else and go be cool over

766
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: there and then so this is all going well until

767
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 1: enter Castor Andrade. Castor Andrade, he was the unofficial president

768
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 1: of the club bangu in Rio. Right. He was a

769
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: very rich, powerful man. He was a numbers runner. He

770
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 1: was a store operator who became the king of the

771
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 1: Brazilian street lottery. He also grew up to be an

772
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 1: international mob boss with crime ties to the Cali Cartel,

773
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 1: the Cosa Nostra in Sicily. Yeah, he was moving heavyweight now.

774
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 1: During the eighties, Castor Andrade was considered the number one

775
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: crime boss in Brazil, which is not an easy title

776
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: to claim. That's a lot of competition, a lot of

777
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:57,240
Speaker 1: up and comers each year, got a lot of good talent.

778
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 1: So he say a lot of hard a lot of

779
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: good exactly. So that just says who he is, right,

780
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: So he's putting down the competition year in and year

781
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: out in Brazil. So doctor Castor, yes, that was what

782
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,439
Speaker 1: he was. It was a street name. He was also

783
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 1: the patron of a local samba dance school and he

784
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 1: liked to appear with the dance school at carnival, like

785
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: you know, festivals and parades, and he'd show off his

786
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: own white shoe dance moves. He was like one of

787
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: those guys. Yeah. Now he unofficially bought Bangu Football. He

788
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: couldn't have his name on the club, but he was

789
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: the president and he was the owner, and he ran

790
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 1: it like another wing of his crime fan So he

791
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 1: would like make players kiss his ring, like on the pitch.

792
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: Like often the journalists right about it. They mentioned it like, oh,

793
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 1: I've seen this eppend so many times. So one time

794
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:40,839
Speaker 1: he had a star player who had he was out

795
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: with an injury. Right, So doctor Caster is all skeptical

796
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 1: about this, so he thinks the player is like kind

797
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: of malingering and isn't as hurt as he claims. So

798
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 1: he goes to practice and he watches the player and

799
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: then he walks over the players who he's sitting on

800
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: the grass. Doctor cast Door whips out his gun. He

801
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: shoots the ground right next to the player. Player leaps up,

802
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 1: runs away from the you know, gun wielding team owner,

803
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: and Castor runs after him, shouting, look, you're fine, you

804
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: can play jamorrow. Then oh he wants chased a ref

805
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 1: on the field, and there's footage of him. You can

806
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 1: see the gun tucked into his like like underneath his

807
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 1: back jacket, like tucked in like all your kids. And

808
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 1: it's like yeah, anyway, the nightmar runs onto the field

809
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: arm chasing a ref and he's like, look, I just

810
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 1: wanted to talk. I just wanted to talk. He literally

811
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 1: says this in press conferences. I just wanted to talk.

812
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 1: Oh god. So anyway, when Carlos Kaiser arrives at this

813
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 1: guy's club, there's oh big headline that says Bano has

814
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 1: its king because remember Kaiser ker so now the new

815
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: star king Carlos. What's he gonna do playing for this

816
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: mafia Don with a penchant for pistols. So well, he

817
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: knows immediately I'm gonna have to manage the hype. So

818
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: first thing he does, he gets some street kids because

819
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 1: he grew up street kids style. He's like, and you

820
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 1: get some street kids on my side, So get some

821
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: street kids. Gives them some money, some food, and says, hey,

822
00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: come to all the first few games, chant my name.

823
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 1: They're like, so they do that. The Mafia Don loves

824
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: kids love him, so he's like, he's in good. This

825
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 1: gives him time to operate. Yeah. Now he's got a

826
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: little like little space, and so he does the opposite

827
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: of what most folks would do. He gets as close

828
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,359
Speaker 1: as he can to doctor cast He's like, I'm gonna

829
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 1: be right with this dude. So here comes he becomes

830
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: crime Boss's new favorite person. Wow. Anytime a player goes

831
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 1: up to the chairman's office, there's Carlos. Guys are laughing

832
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: it up with him, going let me see your gun again, exactly,

833
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 1: So they become good, good friends. Meanwhile, he's still not playing.

834
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 1: He's like, oh, I'm injured soon really like Mike hamstring, right,

835
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 1: So he's like, doctor's like, that's fine soon. Yes, he

836
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 1: is a doctor's exactly. So you know, he keeps doing

837
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 1: what he came to professional soccer to do, which is

838
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: live it up. Yeah. So he's out there living like

839
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: he's gonna die tomorrow. And he's doing this in Rio

840
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: in the eighties. I'm not sure if that means anything

841
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: to do exactly. So he's king of the dance floor

842
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 1: at this point, and that's like where he rigs to

843
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 1: show off. So he's out there always every night, surrounded

844
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 1: by beautiful women, being a professional footballer. And then like

845
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,360
Speaker 1: you know, at practice he's just hang dogging there and

846
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,919
Speaker 1: not running and acting like, oh I hurt my leg again.

847
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: So everyone's like, look, man, we get it, but you know,

848
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: I don't know how to best put it. But he's

849
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: somehow able to endure this Mafia Done and everyone else

850
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,440
Speaker 1: they compared this guy to like tripping a turtle, Like

851
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: it's very hard to trip a turtle, but somehow Carlos

852
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,840
Speaker 1: could figure out how to trip this turtle, such a

853
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 1: Brazilian turtle. Right anyway, So does Mafia Done. He expects

854
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 1: that he's gonna get results for all the money he's

855
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,720
Speaker 1: dumped into Carlos Kaiser's contract. So one day the doctor decides,

856
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: you know what, I want to see this guy play.

857
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,879
Speaker 1: So he goes and tells Carlos Kaiser. He walks into

858
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: the clubhouse with a few of his heavies and he's like, look, Geyser,

859
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 1: if you don't train today right now, we're going to

860
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 1: shoot you. Oh no, things are getting tight, Okay, he's

861
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 1: out there dancing. He's got to take those loose hips

862
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 1: on the pitch because people are like, how can you

863
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 1: be injured and then be in the dance club same night, right?

864
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 1: How bad is this leg injury? So people trying to

865
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: put you know, talk is going around town. So the

866
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 1: next day, Carlos gets a call from the coach. He's starting, Carlos,

867
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 1: you're being on the pitch, either you play or else.

868
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 1: By the way, the doctor want to be stressed that

869
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 1: or else. Oh that's not good. So Carlos Kaiser now

870
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: he's facing the greatest test of his pro soccer con career.

871
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 1: He's like, how am I gonna get out of this?

872
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 1: One game time comes, he's out there, Carlos Kaiser on

873
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: the pitch. People were like, hey, that's him. The fans

874
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 1: they don't even know what he looks like. That's the

875
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: guy we've paid so much time for. So he's out there,

876
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 1: but he's on the bench. He starts out on the bench.

877
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,720
Speaker 1: That's fine. He's out there. People can see Doctor Orgil

878
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 1: Castoric can see him. He's stoked, fans are hyped. He's

879
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: finally gonna make as much heralded debut. Coach gets the

880
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: call from doctor Castor's cell phone. Put in geyser and

881
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 1: put him up front, so he scores. So coach does

882
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: exactly what the crime boss orders. He puts him Kaiser

883
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: up front so he can score geysers. He's like, oh,

884
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do? Remember, he's he can't be

885
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: around a ball. If he's around a ball, it'll be obvious.

886
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 1: This person knows nothing about soccer. So he's out there

887
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 1: warming up and he's got terrified thoughts. He's like, look,

888
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 1: I've conned a crime boss. He figures this out, he's

889
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: gonna kill me. He doesn't know what he's gonna do, right,

890
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 1: So he's like, what do I do about this hot

891
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 1: headed crime boss with a pistol problem? I gotta I

892
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: gotta think, Gotta think, Carlos, Carlos think, think, and he's like, okay. Now. Meanwhile,

893
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 1: there's people behind him, fans who they are mad because

894
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 1: he is yet to take the field, so they're calling

895
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: him all kinds of bad names. They're talking bad about him.

896
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 1: They're running down his mama, his daddy's greasy, greasy granny,

897
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,399
Speaker 1: I mean, everything they can they're throwing him at him.

898
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 1: He's getting all these insults thrown on his back. Boom,

899
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 1: he gets an idea. He's like a guys, are you

900
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 1: mad man? And he knows just what to do. Right.

901
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 1: He runs, but not like you think, not He doesn't

902
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 1: run off the pitch not to escape. He climbs the

903
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,959
Speaker 1: fence separating the fans from the field. He jumps into

904
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: the stands. He starts throwing blows. He starts fighting the fans.

905
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,800
Speaker 1: He's kidding me, attacks the bngoo loyal. He works perfectly.

906
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 1: His plan is genius. The ref comes over. I was

907
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 1: sent off before even coming onto the pitch. He gets

908
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,879
Speaker 1: red carded and kicked out of the game. But now

909
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: he's got to deal with Doctor Castor, who good, like

910
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: any self respecting crime boss would be. So he goes

911
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 1: running down to the locker room. Carlos Kaiser is down there,

912
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,959
Speaker 1: who has disobeyed his direct orders? Right, So when doctor

913
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: Castor gets there, he's got his henchmen with him, his

914
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: pistol in hand, and doctor Castor just to go like

915
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 1: basically walks in and it's just pointing the gilling at him. Yeah,

916
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: Carlos Kaiser, He's like, no, I'll just let him tell

917
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 1: the story. He recalled what he was thinking in this moment, Kaiser,

918
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: for god's sakes, what have you done? The boss is

919
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,879
Speaker 1: gonna kill you today? What have you done? You're crazy?

920
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 1: Then Doctor Castor comes in with heavies. He came up

921
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 1: to me, I said, Doctor, before you speak, I want

922
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: to say something. I can't tolerate fans saying bad things

923
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 1: about you. You are incredible. You're my father. God took

924
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: away my real father. Then he gave me you. The

925
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,799
Speaker 1: fans out there calling you a crook and a bum,

926
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 1: that you are a criminal, a villain, that they were slandering,

927
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:10,240
Speaker 1: you're saying you are a drug trafficker. Doctor, my contract

928
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: is up in a fortnight. You'll be rid of me

929
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 1: in a fortnight. And so he's a genius. Doctor cast

930
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: Star cuts him off, shouts in his face no, and

931
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 1: Kyles Kaiser is like, oh, maybe I overplayed my hand.

932
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: But then doctor cast Star looks at him. He says, Kaiser,

933
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,520
Speaker 1: you are my friend. Three more months on the contract,

934
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,879
Speaker 1: but another six months on Kaiser's contract and double his pay.

935
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 1: He gets his pay doubled for defending his honor. Yes,

936
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 1: he's rewarded because the crime boss is like, brilliant, you

937
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:45,480
Speaker 1: are my dude, right, brilliant. Yeah, so my new conquering

938
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: champion of laziness. He gets rewarded for not doing a

939
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:52,959
Speaker 1: damn thing other than fighting the fans. A true legend Now,

940
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 1: obviously he's got to maintain all of this with a

941
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 1: lot of lies, some injuries, a little luck, some cunning.

942
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 1: But this was not the end of his story, because

943
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: he then gets transferred to this crime bosses Buddy's team,

944
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 1: another crime boss who is more ruthless, and they do

945
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 1: like a whole little shady operation because they want to

946
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: buy a championship. So he basically ports over a bunch

947
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: of his star players and he in that group, he

948
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 1: throws in Carlos Kaiser and he's like, there, you got this.

949
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 1: So now he is on a team for the new

950
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 1: gangster and this guy Emil Pinero. Now Emil Pinero is,

951
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 1: as I said, the more ruthless gangster. So now he's

952
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 1: got to take this same game that he almost got

953
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 1: killed in and I was going to try it all

954
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: over again. So you're like wondering, Okay, well why would

955
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,920
Speaker 1: he do that? I have to think though, Just on

956
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: a side note, that doctor cast Store had to be

957
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,279
Speaker 1: sitting back and watching with a quiet, smug laugh, knowing

958
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: he wasn't the only crime boss being taken by Carlos Kaiser. Yeah, like,

959
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: I can see how you deal with this, Yeah, exactly.

960
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 1: So anyway, so the crime bosses, Like why are there

961
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 1: so many crime bosses in Brazilian solid you know, Like,

962
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: what's up with that? Well it's a good question, Elizabeth.

963
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked. The reason's quite obvious, and you

964
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: in the Silicon Valley should know this. It's the same

965
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 1: reason there's so many investors in tech. That's where the

966
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,760
Speaker 1: money is. Well, it's what we in the clean dollars

967
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 1: business called money laundering. Yeah. See, they were washing their cash,

968
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 1: these companies. These football teams were great for money laundering.

969
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 1: So and they were also a beloved distraction for Brazilian

970
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:21,719
Speaker 1: so it's like win win, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Perniro's team

971
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 1: was Botafogo, so he started, as I tell you, with

972
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: a shady transfer of talent from one team to the other.

973
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 1: It works. He wins a championship. So our man, Carlos

974
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 1: Geyser is now a champion, yes, the ring, so he's

975
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,879
Speaker 1: finding me a professional football champion. Real deal. He won

976
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: it all without doing a damn thing. So anyway, Emi

977
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 1: opened your other crime boss. I gotta tell you about

978
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: a street name. His street name was Bionic Penis. What

979
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 1: his street name was Bionic Penis? Okay, it's not a

980
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,439
Speaker 1: normal street. No, that's not like, oh man, you gotta

981
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 1: meet my boy Dizzy. And so the thing is that

982
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 1: Emi opened your He suffered from impetus, right, and this

983
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,320
Speaker 1: was before there was the little blue miracle pill Viagra.

984
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 1: So he had to get surgery, and he had a

985
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: doctor at a pump and a whole rigga ratchets down there,

986
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 1: and the manager of this soccer club even took him

987
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:14,640
Speaker 1: to get this surgery. Right, he took the gangster get

988
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: penis surgery because it was like all casual. So after

989
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 1: he gets it done, like I don't know, the guy

990
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: after practice, like, hey, you want to go and get

991
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 1: your penis operation done? So, but apparently there were some

992
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:26,640
Speaker 1: unintended side effects, one of which was Pineiro had a

993
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: perpetual stiffy like just like all the time. Right, So

994
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 1: this is where Carlos Kaiser enters the picture. He's like,

995
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,760
Speaker 1: I can help you with that. So he becomes wingman

996
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 1: to bionic penis because remember he loves beautiful women. Beautiful

997
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: woman love Carlos, you know. Basically he realizes this is

998
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: good for Carlos. This is how I'm gonna get this

999
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 1: gangster on my side, right, And he says in a quote,

1000
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: so long as I stayed tight with the president, I

1001
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,359
Speaker 1: could stay with the club until he wanted me to leave.

1002
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: So he just keeps his wick wet for years. He

1003
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 1: ends up making sure that Meal Piniero had plenty of

1004
00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: young women and to impress with the bionic penis. Right,

1005
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: So Carlos Kaiser stays at this club for five years wow,

1006
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 1: and never really plays, never takes like, doesn't shoot, doesn't anywhere.

1007
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 1: The guy's just say stuff. He's like, you're the spirit

1008
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 1: of the team, Like we know what you mean. A meal. Yeah. Anyway,

1009
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 1: So less of a football or more of a ball

1010
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 1: or baller. At this point, he's now working as a

1011
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: personal pimp and the team pimp, because he's also doing

1012
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: this for the team that he's on to Botafogo. He

1013
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,439
Speaker 1: would get beautiful women bring him to the hotel while

1014
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 1: the team's like at practice. Then they go to play

1015
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,760
Speaker 1: the game. He'd be like hanging out the girls getting

1016
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: ready and then you know, then he would travel with

1017
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:34,320
Speaker 1: the team to the next place. And so he's gotten

1018
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: it down or he's just basically the pimp. He's not

1019
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,400
Speaker 1: having to do the whole like here, put on your uniform.

1020
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 1: Sit on the bench. He's like, I don't have time

1021
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: for that work. Yeah, exactly, I gotta go show out

1022
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: this banana hammock. So now the lifestyle, this lifestyle I'm

1023
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 1: telling you about, it would take him to some dark places,

1024
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: as one might imagine. For instance, Bunga Bunga parties with

1025
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 1: the former Prime Minister of Italy, sylviober We know where

1026
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,920
Speaker 1: that comes from. Yeah, Carlos, guys are claims that he

1027
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 1: took part in some of the former leader of Italy's

1028
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,759
Speaker 1: a modern orgies. And you know, I believe him on

1029
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,440
Speaker 1: this one. He told a lot of lies. Yeah, I

1030
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 1: believe him on this see it. But you know whatever,

1031
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:10,399
Speaker 1: who knows if it's true. There was like one player

1032
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 1: who said about him in the documentary, if you tell

1033
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 1: the same life four times, it becomes the truth. I

1034
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: think that really is kind of fitting. That's essentially how

1035
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: Carlos Kaiser ends up on the most impressive professional football

1036
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 1: team in Brazil at that time, Vasco da Gama. He

1037
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: reaches the mountain. Now he's a champion, and now he's

1038
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,799
Speaker 1: on the best team. Like half of the starters on

1039
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,399
Speaker 1: this team start for the Brazilian national team. Like that's

1040
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 1: how good. This team is right, So they bring in

1041
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 1: Carlos Kaiser. We met Carlos Kaiser to help us. Well,

1042
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 1: I don't know the vibe exactly. So now these are

1043
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 1: these stars at this point, they all know it's an

1044
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 1: open secret who Carlos Kaiser is. They've all seen him

1045
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 1: do He's like, oh, my thigh, I ripped a tendon

1046
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 1: or snapped it or whatever it was. So they all

1047
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 1: sit back and enjoy the show and they're just happy

1048
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: to watch it all. And then as this is going

1049
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,840
Speaker 1: and they're all enjoying Carlos Kaiser, you know, etate the coaches,

1050
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: then comes the witch doctor. Doctor the witch Doctor Elizabeth,

1051
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 1: as Carlos at Kaiser happily explains, he performed rituals on me,

1052
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 1: so my bruises would heal? Oh boy, yeah, Elizabeth, I'd

1053
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 1: like you to close your eyes. My eyes are closed

1054
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: and to picture Elizabeth's a second week in your new job.

1055
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 1: You are a court mandated chicken handler for a working shaman.

1056
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 1: You were assigned to the black magic priest named Pie

1057
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: Santana after he had quote the incident. Now this professional

1058
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:35,320
Speaker 1: soccer club has hired the shaman despite the incident because

1059
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 1: they want him to beseech the gods and do what

1060
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 1: no one on earth has yet been able to do.

1061
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 1: Get Carlos Kaiser onto a professional soccer pitch and make

1062
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 1: him play a game. So that's what you're here to do. You,

1063
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 1: as professional chicken hander that you're in a locker room

1064
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 1: holding two chickens that are intended for ritual purposes. There

1065
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 1: will be no blood, not on your watch. But the

1066
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 1: shaman is allowed to move the chicken around in great

1067
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,720
Speaker 1: big circles as well. He can gently shake the bird

1068
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: nearer the person he is praying over. In this case

1069
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 1: it is Carlos Kaiser. So you watch intently as he

1070
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 1: does exactly that, trying to lift the curse on this

1071
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 1: haunted footballer. The shaman stands over him, the footballer. He

1072
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 1: is shirtless, lying on his back. He smirks his chicken

1073
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 1: feathers lightly rained down on him. You watch the scene,

1074
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: noting how surreal it is. Careful that no chickens are

1075
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 1: harmed in this ritual. You will not have a repeat

1076
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: of the incidents. Now cut to the soccer stars on

1077
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 1: the club also watching this in the locker room. They

1078
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 1: have a real show on their hands with this one.

1079
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:33,640
Speaker 1: And you know some of these players, You're like wow.

1080
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,760
Speaker 1: They're like, well, look at all this, the pirate technics,

1081
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 1: the chickens, this is amazing. So you guys are all

1082
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: enjoying it. Meanwhile, there's Carlos Kaiser who is hating all

1083
00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 1: of this. There's too much attention. He wants this side

1084
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:45,800
Speaker 1: show action done. You hear him, Tell the witch doctor

1085
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,719
Speaker 1: take your money, mate, there's nothing wrong with me. Take

1086
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,840
Speaker 1: your money and don't bother doing your thing. I intend

1087
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:54,400
Speaker 1: to stay injured for the rest of my life. You

1088
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,879
Speaker 1: smile because the truth of that statement is like seeing

1089
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 1: a unicorn in a glade. It just feels special somehow.

1090
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 1: It is so honest. You're like, wow, I'm so glad

1091
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 1: I'm handling chickens today. Well, Elizabeth, that was your moment

1092
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 1: with Carlos Teiser and he got out of by the way,

1093
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 1: professional soccer just in time. This is right before he

1094
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:14,800
Speaker 1: retired in two thousand and three. He retired from professional

1095
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: soccer after a twenty six year professional career without ever

1096
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,240
Speaker 1: basically doing anything. He never scores a goal, never even shoots,

1097
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:25,320
Speaker 1: doesn't take a single shot. He is the do nothing

1098
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: king now. By the way, he was also the most

1099
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 1: ambitionless professional athlete of all times. So I think he

1100
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,879
Speaker 1: is the goat of that oh, definitely, a true goat

1101
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 1: of his own lane. Definitely. Now, I also like to

1102
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 1: point out that he didn't hurt nobody, and for the

1103
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 1: final word on him, I will turn to his friend

1104
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,440
Speaker 1: Hanato Gaucho. He was the greatest footballer to never have

1105
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 1: played football, and thus the title of the documentary amazing.

1106
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 1: So what did he do now, Elizabeth? Well, I don't know.

1107
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 1: You tell me he's a life coach of course, a

1108
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 1: personal wellness trainer, oh boy, and get this, none of

1109
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 1: his clients are a men surprised. So what does our

1110
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 1: ridiculous takeaway from kinking? It goes to act like you know,

1111
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,720
Speaker 1: he is my new hero of the do nothing movement.

1112
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 1: What's your ridiculous takeaway? Don't I just told you the story?

1113
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 1: You're not listening at all? Ridiculous takeaways? What you want?

1114
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:21,520
Speaker 1: It was pearls? Anyway, That's all I got for you.

1115
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:24,919
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed it, beautiful. You can find us

1116
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 1: online at Ridiculous Crime, on Twitter and Instagram. If you

1117
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 1: like stories and pictures, you can also hit us up

1118
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,359
Speaker 1: at the email Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. There

1119
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 1: is the talk back app on the iHeart app that

1120
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:39,360
Speaker 1: you can leave us messages and uh yes, you listened

1121
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: to them all and appreciate them all, so thanks for miss.

1122
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:51,720
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaron Burnett, producer,

1123
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 1: edited by the Chief of the Brazilian Clubs, Dave Couste.

1124
00:56:56,760 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 1: Research is by the Inimmitable Marissa Brown and the Unstoppable

1125
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: Andrea Song Sharpen tier. A. Theme song is by Mo Fogo,

1126
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:10,439
Speaker 1: Thomas Lee and Travis Iaogo Dutton Hi Executive producers are

1127
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:23,479
Speaker 1: Ben Ago Bowling and No Maiden Score Brown Day See

1128
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 1: It one More Times Crow. Ridiculous Crime is a production

1129
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. Four more podcasts of my Heart Radio. Visit

1130
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,440
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

1131
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.