WEBVTT - Subject: Am I A Fool For Staying After He Lied? 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.640 Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:07.000 the Vitamin D with Dawn Day podcast and I am 0:00:07.040 --> 0:00:09.640 your host, Dawn Day, here to get you excited about 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:11.600 your life so that you can live life on purpose 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:13.680 and for a purpose. And this is your first time 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:17.040 tuning in and welcome Vitamin D. It's upon off my name. 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:19.240 My name is Dawn, and you get Vitamin D from 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.440 the sun. So I'm here to shed light into your life. 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:25.000 And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:28.040 celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:29.960 you want to be better and you want to do better, 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:32.720 then you're going to have to be able to see better. 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:35.720 So join me on this journey of living our best 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:39.680 lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.599 ass act. You know what I was thinking. I was wondering, 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:46.000 at what point do people give up on their dreams? 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:50.479 Like when does it happen? I just look around a 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:52.240 lot of people that I grew up with and who 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:56.400 we talked about having dreams and aspirations, and then looking 0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:59.960 at who's still in pursuit and those who have transition 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:02.960 shouldn't or kind of just relinquished it. And I guess 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:06.280 this conversation brings upon because I was talking to a 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:10.280 friend from college. I want to say, former Judy, we're 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.760 we don't talk right now, We're not cool. But you know, 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:15.319 when you know somebody long enough, you love them. And 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:18.080 they said you gotta be vulnerable. So I was telling 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:20.360 l J, my nephew. I was telling l J about 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:23.200 this today actually before I got into the studio, and 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:25.319 I was telling how disturbed I wasn't how it really 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:28.880 hurt my feelings because we met in college and I 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:31.800 met him with his love of production. I see, I'm 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.440 a nineties kind of girl. If you know me, if 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:36.800 you met me in person and you know my persona, 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:39.280 you know I love me some nineties music. That's where 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:45.600 I resighed. And one of the producers behind of several 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:48.960 nineties tracks that I loved in the nineties and thousands 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.600 is Rowdy Jerkins, a k A. Dark Child who's also 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:55.840 his favorite music producer. And in college, this man was 0:01:55.920 --> 0:02:00.280 skip class in his room, not be as he was 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:02.200 out partying, because he was out there producing on his 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:06.800 MPC machine track for I mean going into zones like 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:09.639 we're going on trips. So summer vacation. No, he's in 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:13.200 New York at Clive Davids Music School. So anyway, I 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:15.519 hate him up. Even though we're not talking, I still 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:18.520 got love for you because I saw on Instagram Why 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:20.960 I Need Jerkins is partnering up with this company called 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:24.840 Protege or Protege, and I guess they're all from the opportunity. 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:26.840 You submit a project and then you have two studio 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:29.400 sessions with him. So immediately I saw this hit and 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.200 send it to him. He's like, oh my gosh, he's 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:35.000 like the legend. In fact, I'm about to read you 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:38.960 exactly because I'm still in shock. Let me scroll down. Okay, 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:43.000 he says, the legend incredible talent, and he said, um, 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:44.960 but I'm too old now, I'll leave that to the 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:50.280 little babies. What I guess I was a shock because 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:54.000 I'm like, here's an opportunity of somebody that you've always 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:57.120 dreamt about, that you've always desired, and your excuses that 0:02:57.160 --> 0:03:01.760 you say that you're too old? How do we how 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:04.200 do we forget how to dream? Like? Have you? Have 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:06.840 you gotten to that point? And I told l J. 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:10.200 I said, please, don't ever be like that, don't ever 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:15.400 give up on yourself. I had to reply. I said, remember, 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:19.440 it's about your experience, and it never hurts to try. 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:23.000 I think you're worth taking a chance. You can't say 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.359 that you're old, too older, that's too late, because you're 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.440 not dead. It ain't no such thing as being too dead, 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:30.959 because once you're dad get dead and gone. So I'm 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.880 just saying, how about we just start to live while 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:37.720 we're still alive. I'm not saying functioning. I'm saying living, 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:45.320 and that is being and that is doing. Huh what 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.160 do you say to that? How does that make you feel? 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.560 Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Are you thinking about 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:51.520 something that you try to put out to the wayside 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:53.880 because you felt maybe you weren't ready and you weren't prepared. 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:55.720 You don't have enough knowledge, You're not in the right place, 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:57.800 you don't have the death experience. I don't know what 0:03:57.960 --> 0:04:01.160 it is. I just know that you better go after 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:05.200 it because you can't escape it. It's gonna come back 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:09.280 on you. Huh. So I figured, why don't you chase 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:14.880 it before he chases you? Get right with me and 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:22.360 get excited about Hello, how you doing? What's up doing? 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:26.400 Day is here? You know what time? It is um, 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:30.719 we are diving into the Vitamin D advice letter back. Yes, 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:32.840 you know that time we all write me in with 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:36.839 some issues about relationships, about love, about life, about your career, 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:39.160 about whatever you're feeling, and you're like doing I want 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:41.279 some advice, and I'm like, y'all, I'm here for it, 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:43.720 but understand that I'm gonna keep a g with you. 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.200 So I come really when I read these letters, and 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:49.280 I want you to know that when you come into 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:51.960 Vitamin D, we all about shedding the light, and we 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:53.400 shed the light is on the good in the bed. 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:54.760 Because what do I say? If you want to be 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:57.240 better and you want to do better, it got to 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:00.240 be able to see better. So I keep sit real 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:06.640 with you. Okay, so let's dive in. Here we go. Subject. 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:10.880 Am I a fool for staying after he lied? You 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:16.520 got your popcorn, you got your dright, Okay, here we go. Hi, Dawn, 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:19.240 I am a twenty seven year old woman living in 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:22.680 the d m V area and I need some relationship advice. 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:26.360 I recently started dating this man. He has a stable job, 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:28.680 he knows how to take care of himself, and the 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:32.279 sex is amazing. He's got the bare minimum requirements I 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:34.320 look for in the man, but wait, I gotta be 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:37.600 a bare minimum. Anyway, when we met, he told me 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.279 he had two kids from two different women. One of 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:42.640 the kids is seventeen and the other is about ten. 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:46.800 I normally don't date men with kids because of possible 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.039 baby mama drama. But from what I have heard, his 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:52.080 relationship with the women he has kids with isn't crazy. 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.840 All in all, I know what I'm getting into, or 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:59.120 so I thought. My best friend is an amazing investigator. 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.280 She could eat easily be an FBI agent. So I'm 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:04.760 relaxing at home this past week and my best friend 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:07.440 texts me and says that she needs to show me something. 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:10.440 She sends me a Facebook link and when I open it, 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:12.719 it brings me to the profile of this random woman. 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:15.360 I check out our page and I come across the post. 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.600 This post has my man in it. Not only does 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:20.680 it have my man in it, but there is a 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:23.400 newborn in the photo with him and this woman. The 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:25.800 baby is his because the capture of the photo says 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.880 we're parents now. I did not know about this baby, Dawn. 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:34.279 This post is from about six months ago. I have 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:38.680 been dating this man for three months. Now. I confronted 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:40.680 him about it, and he explained he was scared that 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:42.960 I would leave him and apologize for keeping this third 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.679 child of secret. I love the way he makes me feel, 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.520 but this just made it hard to trust him. Should 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:54.120 I end things with him? What a man? What a man? 0:06:54.240 --> 0:07:00.520 What a man? Is he? A mighty good man? Child? 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:06.680 They say, let's sleeping dogs? Lie? They said, once a 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:10.120 lie is always a lie. But you know a butterfly 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:15.440 was once a caterpillar. Hey, catch it. People do have 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:22.440 the ability to change. But I don't know, Sis, can 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:27.200 we be real about it? How would you ever know 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:29.680 you can trust him? You know, this is when you 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:32.840 need some Kiana in here, because you know, this is 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:36.080 what we talk about, showing up to the table and 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:40.040 knowing what you're getting from the table. What I mean 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:44.560 by that is that this is the foundation that you 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:47.360 start in this relationship on. You didn't even know that 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:48.920 he had a child. What else is it that you 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:52.760 did not know? Mm hmm. And I think oftentimes we're 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.440 stepping these relationships are we're working on building things together 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:57.200 and we don't even know what it is that we 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.880 have the tools to be building. When because people are 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:03.160 showing up people are not showing up who it is 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:05.160 that they are. And that's what I think. It's unfair 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.880 because now you find yourself in a situation with someone 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:13.400 without having a choice. You don't have the choice because 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.000 you don't know what it is that you've signed up for. 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:18.280 Especially if you're somebody who's communicating, you think that it's 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:21.120 one thing and it really isn't has to someone. Don't 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:22.720 think people do this to be malicious. I just think 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:24.600 people have some healing to do that they haven't taken 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:27.920 time to do that. So you say, hey, darn, should 0:08:27.920 --> 0:08:30.120 I end things with him? Well? I have to ask 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:32.199 you what is it that you want and what is 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:35.800 it that you value? What is important to you? How 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.800 important is communication with you? Are you a believer in? 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:41.440 How you do anything? Is how you'll do everything? Well? 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:43.920 This affect how much you trust him? Does this affect 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:48.920 how you feel about yourself? I'm just wondering. You know, 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.800 three months is definitely still a budding part of the relationship. 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:55.960 But why is it that when we talk about showing 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:58.640 up in relationships and we talk about creating a safe space, 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:01.000 what are you building wen It wasn't about the fact 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:03.199 that he wanted to lie to you because he wanted 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:07.440 to cheat, he says, and let me um, let me 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:11.280 read what he says. He says he was scared that 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:15.839 I would leave him and apologize from keeping the third child. 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.400 The secret relationship is all about creating a safe space. 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:21.520 You know. I was just saying before, people like, don 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:23.600 what you're looking for? And first I will always say 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:25.360 I'm looking for a relationship, and it's like, no, I'm 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:27.600 looking for somebody that I can be vulnerable with, that 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:29.600 I can be myself with, that I can be honest with. 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.240 And I think that's something that you got to think 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.960 about too. What is it that you're seeking with this relationship? 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:35.720 Is not only about what it is that you want, 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:37.320 but what kind of space do you want to make 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.800 room for the person who's entering this relationship with you. 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.319 I don't know about you, but I want you to 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:45.840 funk with me where you feel comfortable. I want you 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:47.600 to be able to tell me things that you may 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.800 be scared to tell other people, because that's the connection 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:52.280 we have. But I think when we come into relationships 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:55.000 oftentimes we got so much of the ego on trying 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:57.319 to protect ourselves from getting hurt. Well, how are we 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.400 relating if you got everything on and a relation. For me, 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:02.559 it's about taking things off. And I know you say, oh, 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.600 this feels so good, but I gotta say, how you 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:08.520 do anything, it's how you'll do everything. I don't think 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:10.320 that it's not about whether or not he can change. 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:12.920 I think that's a possibility. But what I think more 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:16.280 important and what I hear overall, is the fact that 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:20.240 there's a lack of comfortability, lack of vulnerability. And you know, 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:22.640 as Kiana when she was talking about when talking about 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:26.200 passionate communication, you gotta have love, you gotta have trust, 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:28.640 you gotta have respect, and you have to feel safe. 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:31.920 Oftentimes we don't. We're not honest because we don't feel safe. 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:34.280 And if we don't feel safe, how are we to trust? 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.720 How can you trust those that you don't love? Mhmm. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:44.840 These are just things to think about. So it's easy 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.440 for me to say yes. But I know she I 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.840 was talking to somebody for a month and my assles 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:55.760 and thralled, and your ass did three months, damn, And 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:58.280 that ain't even a long time. But I'm just saying 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:04.320 I can imagine what emotions you have invested. But the 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.240 fact that he was fearing that she was gonna leave it. 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.680 I say this, y'all gotta talk about it and trust 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:11.719 your gut because I'm gonna look on the outside. I 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:13.560 don't know about him. I don't know the dynamics. I 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.000 don't know what kind of space did you make room 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.839 for that? And that's not your responsibility. Your responsibility to 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:20.760 show up. And then whether or not you organically or 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:24.000 that space is created is creative. But overall, it's like, 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:26.400 you gotta be comfortable and being honest about what it 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:28.120 is you want and who you are so that I 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:31.079 can see who you are. And right now he got 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.079 a lot on holding seen since he said, oh, I 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.240 thought you was gonna leave me, so what so? So 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.079 what does that mean? So the next time that you 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.240 come into a situation that you think you might I 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:41.320 might leave you, does that not mean you're gonna be honest? 0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:43.679 One thing I was realized and I was checking out 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:48.560 this video, um hell, I had Anton People's on there, 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:50.360 and I said, what does it mean to live? And 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:52.120 he was talking about love and to live is to 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:56.480 be free. Love is free, It doesn't control, it doesn't 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.320 hold you back. And I'm assuming that you in this 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:01.960 relationship that you are hoping or you are moving towards 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:03.840 a direction working blossom and love or what are you 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:07.559 building on. I don't want nobody that's gonna have allowed 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.480 me to try to hold me hostage. Let me be 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:12.760 free and let me choose you. That's another thing too. 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:15.960 So now he's gonna not tell you the truth or 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.920 withhold information out of fear he might lose you. Right, 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.439 what's the student, mate? How is that to support what 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:25.720 you guys are doing and what you guys are going after? 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:30.400 M hmm. Love is not gonna try to hold you bad. 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:33.000 Love is not gonna tell you what you can do. 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.080 In fact, love will encourage you all the things that 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:38.240 you can do. Side this has been at the bel 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:43.160 callaway peace. What's up everybody? This is trade change and 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:51.079 you are listening to violent with down day. I want 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:52.760 you to be more free, want you to be more 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:57.360 wants you to be your best man. I saw we 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.800 have to be mindful when we say what it is 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.839 that we want. It's good to have a relationship or 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.400 having relations with all kinds of things, but how about 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:09.720 one the space of vulnerability a space to be safe, 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.480 and that should be in every aspect because it shouldn't 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:15.040 always be in the intimate it should be in the 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:17.600 potnic relationships as well, because what do I say, how 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:20.120 you do anything is how you'll do everything. So when 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:23.280 you ask me, hey, Dawn, should I end things with him? Well, 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:25.600 I have to ask you this. Do you have an 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.600 area or a space where you can guys can feel 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:31.240 comfortable talking because right now, if we walk away with 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:34.360 the whole notion of he's scared that you may leave 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:37.719 him for something, get the hell out of Doge. It's 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.920 time to go right down, because then I gotta ask 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:42.599 you if he ever gets in a panic space, or 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.680 if you ever feel so upset and you're like, you 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:47.600 know what, I don't want to do this anymore. Let's 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:50.160 just say his name is Roger. Roger, you're telling the truth, baby, 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.320 I'm telling true. What hell? You just threaten that you 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:55.520 was gonna leave him? So what else are you gonna 0:13:55.600 --> 0:14:01.040 keep from? E boo? But like I said, a butterfly 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:04.640 was once a caterpillar. So people have the ability to change, 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:08.160 and your communication is to express how that made you feel. 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:11.480 That's another thing. When we're getting these conversations with people 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:15.360 and these relationships, be mindful how you're communicating. Don't just 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.560 be out there blaming people, pulling the figure you did this, 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:19.360 you did That's how about we come to the point 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:23.440 of how somebody feels, you know, because when you love, 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.560 when you care about somebody, when you chair somebody, when 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:27.720 you support somebody, when you hold somebody near and dear 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:31.800 to you, you're more concerned with how they felt. So, um, 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.240 missfool or you questioning? If you a fool for staying 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:38.240 after he lied? What that's up to you? Bo? Are 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.320 you opening for the communication now? If you say doing, 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:41.880 I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm gonna 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:45.640 just stay and see how things work out. Y'all. I 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:48.040 think you're a fool and I think you should end it. 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:50.200 But if you can create a space where you guys 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.320 can have an open dialogue to see where he's coming from, 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:56.640 it's something to entertain. But as a right now, it's 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.600 not looking too good because you know something is to 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:02.240 be said. People operate out of fear. Hell, you know, 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.720 That's what I was thinking about today. I think there's 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.280 one thing to think about people who are evil, but 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.680 it's something else. When people who are fearful, insecure, I 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.440 think they might be more dangerous because they show up 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:15.920 as people that can get more close to you, and 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.080 you know, the closer people aren't you, the more effect 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:21.480 they can have on you. And oftentimes when people look 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:23.560 at you and disdain out of jealousy, out of hurt, 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.800 out of resentment, it's like that wound goes a little deeper, 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:31.840 it hits you a little differently. And I just wouldn't 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:33.480 want you to be in a situation that has you 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:36.560 bound to somebody who operates out of fear of trying 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:39.560 to hold you down, trying to hold you back, because 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:41.600 you know what that sounds like. That sounds like some 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:44.120 other fucking manipulation about to go down. You know what 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:48.560 I'm saying, if you really read it, because it wasn't 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.320 because I didn't feel secure about who I am. It 0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:54.520 was because your actions of that, you might leave well 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:57.040 very well. If somebody isn't being honest with you and 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:58.880 you damn just had a baby a couple of months ago, 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:01.520 it won't like the baby just by the and then 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:05.320 you up in the here, hold on, let's go back. 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:09.400 Ain't nobody, ain't ain't nobody wondering why I says we're 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:11.880 parents now? With a heart, I don't even tell you 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:15.880 it had a heart. Is it still a relationship going on? 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:19.360 How offen has he been? All for this new thing? 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:23.640 You think? And further of all, okay, change it up. 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:26.760 I think I'll change my answer. I think you might 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:30.880 shall leave him. You might shall leave him because what 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:33.520 what what? What? What? What? What are you trying to 0:16:33.560 --> 0:16:36.440 build with this man? Because now I just had to 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.640 really think about things. I just had to really think 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:42.120 about things. And the fact that this man has a 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.960 six month old child. You've been dating him for three months. 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:47.760 Who the hell been taking care of the baby the 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:51.640 other three months? Who? Because if he was with you, 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:55.480 who was with the baby? Why wasn't he concerned? Who 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:58.680 was the baby? Why isn't he there feeding the baby, 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:02.840 changing diaper? You didn't notice his absence, You didn't notice 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:05.480 he lacks of sleep, He wasn't looking a little tired 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:07.760 to you. He didn't have any priorities to go to 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:10.600 a doctor's appointment. Those are just things to think about 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:12.800 and it can't be like, oh I forgot I didn't 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:14.199 want to burning you know, that should have been your 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:16.480 priority because you just brought a new life. So I 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.480 had to think about it. But the answer has changed. Yes, 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.160 I would in thinks of them. Yeah, because we ain't 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.280 talking about of you know, we're not talking about something 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.240 that's a variable, like something that can change. It's your child. 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:33.879 So wait a minute, hell yeah, because wait, had you 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:39.600 not seen the picture, would you have found out? Oh? 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:45.119 Oh hell oh? Now yeah, you gotte. I had to 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.320 really digest that. I'm glad I did take him into 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:49.280 that that was organic because usually I take the letter 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.040 I'll read to write a response, but I read. I 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:53.560 told Jeremy. I was like, come on, well, let's go 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:55.560 ahead and do this, and then I just digested it 0:17:55.680 --> 0:18:00.240 some more. Uh. You know, we'll be asking for discernment, right, 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:02.359 we'll be asking for the signs like how did I 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:04.800 get myself in this mess? And I think these are 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:06.520 the signs that we need to look at, Like this 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.440 is a huge retch flag And it's not so much 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.159 it is everything because he lied, but it's the context. 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:15.679 It's everything that's layered into that lie, because let's face it, 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:20.680 we all lie. No. No, I'll be the first one. Look, 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:24.000 I've had said some lives here in there. I mean, 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:26.000 a lie is a lot of mom means to say. 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:27.920 First of all, we weren't even supposed to say lie. 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:31.760 We only could say the telling the story. Um, but 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.800 about your child? Why are you lying about your children? 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:39.000 That's weird, that's a little crazy. I don't like that word. 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:43.199 I'm judging. I am judging. Um. Yeah, that's all. I 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:45.840 got what you're saying. What do you think? Do you 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:50.879 see your leaving? Right? I mean? Who does that? And 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:52.960 more so, it's about what it is that you're accepting, 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:56.240 and I think that's that needs to be evaluated. How 0:18:56.280 --> 0:19:01.320 do you feel about yourself? Do you want children? Could 0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:06.120 you see him as the father of your child? All right? 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:10.359 That's it? Um. I hope that answered you, or at 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.399 least giving you some inside of a different perspective. I 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:15.520 like it because I was able to walk through it 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:17.880 with you about to ask like, oh my gosh, it's 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:19.560 a lie, but oh we love him. Oh he's scared that, 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:22.200 I said the way to damn man, at you don't 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:25.000 have to somebody be giving you some information or somebody 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:29.680 coming and say something give me like up, That's what 0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:32.040 just happened to me. I said, wait a minute, this 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:33.679 maybe here for six months. I've been diad you for 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:36.520 three what's you've been doing? Who can take your hair 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:40.400 to baby, So it'd be like that and shout out 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.120 to you. Tell everybody in the d n V. I said, 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:44.440 what I though, I'm thinking about coming out there, um 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:48.399 for home coming this year, y'all, I said, doing it 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:51.480 might be time to come back to hours. So, um, 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:54.359 you didn't give me your name, but if you see 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:58.240 me outside, I side with up though. All right, um, okay, 0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:00.639 that's that's the advice letter. So I want to encourage you. 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:02.800 Do you need some advice, go ahead and email us 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:05.800 Vitamin D at Dawn Day Speaks dot com. If I 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:07.720 don't see myself, Jeremiah will see and then he will 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:09.919 give it to me and we'll be sure to uh 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:13.760 perhaps apply on the air. And also if you'd like 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:15.920 to be a guest or you know, interview and we 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:17.760 can share your story or talk about a product or 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:20.560 something amazing I'd love to shed light on you, go 0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:24.120 ahead send us an email Vitamin D at Dawn Day 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:27.760 Speaks dot com. Okay, and you can also send your 0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:31.400 own advice letters same email address, and and and are 0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:33.640