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Speaker 1: All right, break it down.

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Speaker 2: If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy

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Speaker 2: and Cat got your cob and locking.

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Speaker 3: No brother ladies and pelts. You just follow an the

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Speaker 3: spirit where it's all the front.

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Speaker 2: Real stuff to the chill stuff and the.

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Speaker 3: M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing.

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Speaker 4: You can do it just stop you feel things. This

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Speaker 4: is feeling things.

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Speaker 1: With Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.

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Speaker 1: I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and I think we both

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Speaker 1: have feelings of the day, but we got to start

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Speaker 1: with yours because my feeling is based on your feeling.

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Speaker 2: So my feeling, my feeling is grateful. I'm feeling grateful

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Speaker 2: because I wanted to change something in our schedule. And

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Speaker 2: I feel like you're not going to feel this way,

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Speaker 2: but I feel this way. You went above and beyond

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Speaker 2: to make it work for both of us.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, I don't. I don't really feel beyond.

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Speaker 1: I really see it's going above them beyond. But I

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Speaker 1: think that we both have shown each other over the

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Speaker 1: last several months, like, hey, I know that if I

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Speaker 1: am able to show up for you in what's best

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Speaker 1: for you, then if possible, you'll do the same. Like

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Speaker 1: I think that if I can make it work. I

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Speaker 1: want to make it work. So I could make it work.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's just rescheduling a mammogram. It's just my yearly.

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Speaker 1: It's not like it was a I had an appointment

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Speaker 1: last week and they're like, we needed to come back

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Speaker 1: next week.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but still you schedule. That was a scheduled thing,

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Speaker 2: and my thing, I just want to go on vacation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which is kind of tied into our unique love

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Speaker 1: languages that we're going to talk about in a minute,

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Speaker 1: or underrated love languages, some that you don't hear about often,

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Speaker 1: and Kat's love languages definitely travel.

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Speaker 2: Acts of vacation as the Internet calls it. But the

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Speaker 2: funny thing about this is we're not we can't travel

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Speaker 2: right now for multiple reasons, so we're just.

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Speaker 3: Going to do a staycation. Usually when steak people do staycations.

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Speaker 1: You didn't tell me that part, Yes, I did? You did?

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Speaker 1: I mean I knew you were to travel far No,

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Speaker 1: I thought, well, wait, no we can't, so we moved. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's fine, so moved. The you can't you're not even

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Speaker 1: going like to I don't know Leaper's work.

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Speaker 3: Well, Leeper's work is like fifteen minutes from our house.

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Speaker 1: I'm still a destination.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna do things, okay, but we're just not going

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Speaker 2: usually on staycations. I feel like people stay in like

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Speaker 2: a hotel in their city, right, Yeah, well our house

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Speaker 2: is still new to us, so we're staying in our.

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Speaker 1: Yes, oh I think you can do staycation at home,

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Speaker 1: okay for sure.

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Speaker 2: But all we're just Patrick's taking off two days of

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Speaker 2: work and I'm taking off two days of work and

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Speaker 2: just have a four day weekend and just do stuff

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Speaker 2: with us, but do things that we normally wouldn't do,

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Speaker 2: you know, so maybe we'll go to Leaper's work.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, we're not Does that change no?

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Speaker 4: Not No.

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Speaker 1: I was just giving you all the time. I totally

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Speaker 1: would have done the exact same thing, but it was

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Speaker 1: after you were like, well, wait a second, this that's

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Speaker 1: a mammogram, And really I'm like, I don't know, putting

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Speaker 1: it off. Surely it can't be that big of a deal.

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Speaker 1: I just moved it two weeks from now. But the

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Speaker 1: more we talk about it, so my feeling of the

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Speaker 1: day is nervous, like, oh, shoot, what if I needed

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Speaker 1: to go in or to flip it so that I'm

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Speaker 1: not nervous. I'm like, what if postponing it two weeks

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Speaker 1: is like a good thing? Yeah, because of like I

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Speaker 1: get a different technician or a scan, or maybe if

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Speaker 1: something does need to be caught, it'll be caught at

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Speaker 1: that point.

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Speaker 3: But it wouldn't have been caught two weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, it's not going to be anything super serious

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Speaker 1: because of course I don't want that. But if it

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Speaker 1: were to work out that way, then and October is

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Speaker 1: breast cancer Awareness month. However, every month is breast cancer

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Speaker 1: Awareness month.

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Speaker 2: Well, I thought you're gonna say then, because your maammegram

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Speaker 2: would have been in October either way.

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Speaker 1: I know, it just happened to work out that way.

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Speaker 1: I just have friends that have gone through breast cancer

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Speaker 1: and October is such a touchy month for them because

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Speaker 1: of the pink out stuff. Like every company is selling

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Speaker 1: things pink and they're profiting big time. Now, are they

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Speaker 1: making a donation to breast cancer research through the sale

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Speaker 1: of pink items? Yes, and they're also properating off of it.

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Speaker 1: If it was one hundred percent of the money, then

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Speaker 1: that would be different. And also they're so passionate about

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Speaker 1: that and more research does need to be done. And

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Speaker 1: because it's a woman thing, it gets you know, to

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Speaker 1: one month a year where you know, if this was

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Speaker 1: if men had to deal with this sort of thing, like,

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Speaker 1: there would potentially be more research. I mean, that's a

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Speaker 1: whole nother rabbit trail we could go down. But I

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Speaker 1: just have to support my girls, not my girls, but

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Speaker 1: all my girls as girls, and my girls, everybody's girls,

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Speaker 1: all the girls everywhere. Which this is a very those

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Speaker 1: are very female statement. My girls were supporting girls. But

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Speaker 1: we do have male listeners. Yeah, I think we were process.

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Speaker 3: We have avid male listeners.

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Speaker 1: We were keeping track of them. I feel like we

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Speaker 1: were like, okay, now that's anytime we would get an

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Speaker 1: email or something, you'd be like, okay, now we have

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Speaker 1: eight and.

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Speaker 3: My little brother is an avid listener.

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Speaker 1: Now okay, no that's not yeah, And then we got

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Speaker 1: a voicemail.

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Speaker 3: Ten we were already up to like twelve. Yeah, oh really.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So we keep staying in the low. But we

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Speaker 1: need to give men credit where credit is due.

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Speaker 3: Well, and I think that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean to bag on the men for like,

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Speaker 1: if this was your disease, there would be more research,

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Speaker 1: but that's probably more in like the perimenopause.

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Speaker 3: No, I think that you're there's a lot of a

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Speaker 3: lot of research that is.

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Speaker 2: Then used to care for women, is research done on men.

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Speaker 2: I mean we're getting there. I think things are getting better,

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Speaker 2: but cross my fingers.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and men also and get breast cancer.

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Speaker 3: A million little things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Which is a show, and this is not gaving me

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Speaker 2: anything away because it's in the first episode and it's

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Speaker 2: not a surprise. One of the characters is a man

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Speaker 2: who has breast cancer. He goes to a support group.

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Speaker 1: I haven't thought about that show well since the last

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Speaker 1: time you brought it up, just maybe a couple of

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Speaker 1: months ago. But every once in a while you do

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Speaker 1: bring it up, and it is a really good show.

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Speaker 1: I just don't think I finished it.

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Speaker 3: You have to finish, Okay.

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Speaker 2: So when I started this show, if you have not

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Speaker 2: watched the show, and you're even if you're not looking

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Speaker 2: for one, put it on a list. It is so good.

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Speaker 2: And it's only like six seasons. You know how some

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Speaker 2: of these shows go too long. It's only six It

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Speaker 2: is so good. The first time I watched it, I

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Speaker 2: stopped at like season three or four. The next time

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Speaker 2: I started with Patrick, we watched the whole thing the

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Speaker 2: last episode the last season, but like the last episode

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Speaker 2: might have been the best and worst same time episode

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Speaker 2: of TV.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well I need to go it hits On, so like,

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Speaker 1: just check out the final drama.

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Speaker 3: It's sports.

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Speaker 2: It's you know, they like sports awareness, it's yes, it's

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Speaker 2: there's everything in it. My husband liked it, so we

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Speaker 2: both loved it equally. So it's not like I think

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Speaker 2: for our male listeners, I think sometimes think that show

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Speaker 2: is going to be too like girly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, well, seeing of your husband and all

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Speaker 1: husbands out there, this voicemail is from yes, a male listener,

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Speaker 1: but he's also a husband and his wife listens. So

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Speaker 1: he started listening, and he in a nutshell is saying,

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Speaker 1: we help his marriage, No, we help feeling, We help

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Speaker 1: better understand his wife. I also just want to give

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Speaker 1: him a shout out before we play it. That good

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Speaker 1: for you for being proactive about figuring out ways that

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Speaker 1: you can understand your partner.

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Speaker 3: It's actually so sweet.

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Speaker 1: It's really sweet, and you think about it. So everyone listening,

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Speaker 1: if you're married or a boyfriend or something, you can

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Speaker 1: send them this voicemail and be like, hey, what are

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Speaker 1: you doing to be proactive.

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Speaker 4: Hey, Amy and kat Tony out of Iowa. Just wanted

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Speaker 4: to say love the show and listened to it since July.

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Speaker 4: Just been a really big help for me and my

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Speaker 4: wife just helped me understand her a little bit better,

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Speaker 4: helps her. She loved the Things, the Four Things with

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Speaker 4: Amy Brown, and so she loves the new podcast as well.

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Speaker 4: But I actually really liked the new one too, So

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Speaker 4: just wanted to say thanks for what you guys do

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Speaker 4: and it really makes an impact. And as a guy,

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Speaker 4: you know, I know that we're not your demographic, but

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Speaker 4: there's I think there's quite a few of us that

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Speaker 4: enjoy it too, so and it helps us just enjoy

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Speaker 4: our wives, our spouses and understand them just a little

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Speaker 4: bit better. So thanks guys, love it.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, Hey man, I think that he has so

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Speaker 2: sweet that he is listening to this.

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Speaker 3: Well, it sounds like he might get a little entertainment

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Speaker 3: from it, but to listen to that just to help

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Speaker 3: him understand and because his wife enjoys it is really sweet. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: good for you.

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Speaker 1: It's like one of his love languages.

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Speaker 3: Which we're learning that there's more than just five maybe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is from doctor Elizabeth Frederick. She listed out

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Speaker 1: underrated love languages, which the other ones we've talked about before.

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Speaker 1: There's five very common ones, and consistency is the first

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Speaker 1: one that doctor Frederick listed here. And I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's the one I appreciate about my boyfriend the most.

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Speaker 1: Is his steadfast. He's very consistent. So what consistency will

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Speaker 1: look like actions over words, Reliable, dependable, available for both

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Speaker 1: ups and downs, and doesn't leave you guessing or confused.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, that is my boyfriend in a nutshell.

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Speaker 1: That is his love language. I will say, you know,

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Speaker 1: I like touch, which is one of the main five,

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Speaker 1: like massage, just hold hand.

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Speaker 3: Like She's like, touching is like yeah, touching.

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Speaker 1: Words of affirmation are my number one to receive and

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Speaker 1: then touch is a close second. And I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out to say this. I don't want it to

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Speaker 1: come out weird.

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Speaker 3: I'm nervous.

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Speaker 2: Okay, he doesn't like touch, No, he does, but I

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Speaker 2: I was he likes a different kind of touch than you.

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Speaker 1: No. I I know you're gonna keep guessing until I

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Speaker 1: just say it, So I'm just gonna say it. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So he's given me massages before and they're sort of

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Speaker 1: like m you know, but I will say I'm sensitive

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Speaker 1: and wait.

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Speaker 3: He stopped back up. What is what does that mean?

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Speaker 1: Like I'm just sort of like, eh, you know, but

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Speaker 1: I but I do, like calves need a massage. But

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Speaker 1: then my calves are very sensitive. And I'll be like, oh, oh, oh,

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Speaker 1: not that hard, not that hard.

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Speaker 3: Oh you're saying that it's too soft.

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Speaker 1: It's too just like they're just meh, and they don't

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Speaker 1: last very long. It's more like, yeah, it'll and then

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Speaker 1: sometimes it'll be too hard to just try to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, get to go over with this, you know,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know how to describe it other than

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Speaker 1: it's you're.

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Speaker 3: Not getting what you need. His his love language isn't

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Speaker 3: acts of massage.

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Speaker 1: Right, However, this is the part where it's going to

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Speaker 1: get a little weird. Okay, okay, However, his daughter came

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Speaker 1: home the other day and she needed her back rubbed,

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Speaker 1: and I mean there was like the floor, elbows like

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Speaker 1: every I mean, it looked like the most professional, best

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Speaker 1: massage I've ever seen. And I'm like, you're busted, You're busted.

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Speaker 3: Did you say that?

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Speaker 1: Yes? When I left, I said, now I know, I

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Speaker 1: know what you're capable of. He's like, now you.

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Speaker 3: Know what I said, seeing what I needed to see.

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Speaker 1: I said, I'm not gonna be jealous because that's your daughter,

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Speaker 1: and that's weird.

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Speaker 3: That would be weird.

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Speaker 1: That would be really weird for me to be jealous of.

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Speaker 3: The massage massage that she just got.

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Speaker 1: However, now I know where you're capable of, so I'm

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Speaker 1: going to settle for any of this moment, you know.

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Speaker 3: And what was his response?

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Speaker 1: He laughed like and I was like, like, I'm not hitting.

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Speaker 1: I drove away. I was like, he thinks I'm joking.

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Speaker 1: I'm not.

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Speaker 2: Well, okay, well at least you know. He Yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: actually better to know he's capable of that. You're like,

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Speaker 2: because he's a strong guy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's.

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Speaker 1: Actually sweet to watch him like care for her in

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Speaker 1: that way. But I'm like, I don't need to be

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Speaker 1: cared for like I'm the I'm better. I need care for.

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Speaker 1: I need to be cared for in that way. I

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Speaker 1: need care. I need care for.

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Speaker 3: I was gun.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, what we do is we just

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Speaker 2: use one like a thera gun on each other, Okay,

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Speaker 2: because I will I love to receive a massage, but

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Speaker 2: I can't say I love to give them, you know,

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Speaker 2: like it does. It makes my hands tired, and you

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Speaker 2: know it's always when I'm patrick, always on some massage

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Speaker 2: when I'm like trying to go to bed, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I know. I just my brain went off

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Speaker 1: into this crazy thing, like I get the hierarchy of like,

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Speaker 1: you know, if he had to choose daughter or girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: he's gonna choose his daughter, Like why are.

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Speaker 3: We even going there?

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Speaker 1: Because my brain went there because I was thinking like

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Speaker 1: maybe she gets the good massage and then energy, which okay,

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Speaker 1: it makes sense, so I get it. But now I

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Speaker 1: know it'd be like if you if he's like this

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Speaker 1: phenomenal cook and for his kids, and then for me

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Speaker 1: he's like Hamburger helping me throwing stuff together. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: we were helpless actually kind of good, I know.

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Speaker 2: But if he makes a from scratch meal right right right,

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Speaker 2: and then he's like I have this box, I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: just boil this these noodles and ster that's pack it in.

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Speaker 1: Throw it together. Okay, so you're listening anyway, You're consistent,

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Speaker 1: Thank you?

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Speaker 3: Are you touch in the sense that like you need

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Speaker 3: to be touching him all the time.

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Speaker 1: No, but I don't mind holding hands in close. Like

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Speaker 1: I'm not extreme PDA person. But you know that one

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Speaker 1: guy I dated, which one the one New York?

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, okay, so I mean none.

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Speaker 1: We were like brother and sister walking down the streets

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is weird to me, like just

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Speaker 1: even like a pat on my back to let me know,

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Speaker 1: like hey, glad you're to let me know I know

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Speaker 1: you're here, and I'm glad you're here.

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Speaker 3: Like could he ever stuff like that about it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I said, something, you have not act to me,

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Speaker 1: like notice me in public or anything, like it's just

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Speaker 1: weird to me because one on one you're affectionate, but

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Speaker 1: in the streets nothing, And he was like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: just am very much like.

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Speaker 2: Or he didn't know if Leslie was going to be around.

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Speaker 2: He didn't want her to see it.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think that was the case. She's not

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Speaker 1: in the picture. It was more so that he's just

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Speaker 1: not a PDA person at all. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't consider holding hands or you know, walking behind

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Speaker 1: you through the door and like putting my hand on

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Speaker 1: your lower back.

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Speaker 3: You know that kind of you think PDA is like

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Speaker 3: making out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I'm not full on trying to like straddle

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Speaker 1: anybody somewhere. That's PDA is what I'm describing. But I'm

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Speaker 1: not extreme PDO. Okay, so there's different. It's a spectrum, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what are you What do you mean? What level do

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Speaker 1: you go to?

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Speaker 2: I don't want to like make out with somebody in public,

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Speaker 2: but I prefer to be touching my husband at all

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Speaker 2: times in some way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like hand on the leges.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but he's that way as well, So yeah, it's great.

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Speaker 2: We've had that conversation of like, would we be together

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Speaker 2: if either of us because we're both so that way,

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Speaker 2: would we be able to be with somebody who wasn't

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Speaker 2: Like he told me one time, we wouldn't be together.

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Speaker 1: If you weren't.

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Speaker 3: I'm like that did that break it?

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Speaker 1: So that's his number one?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he said that would we probably wouldn't. I don't

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Speaker 2: know how much he was kidding, but I asked him, like,

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Speaker 2: do you think we'd still be together if one of

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Speaker 2: us wasn't this affectionate towards the other? And he said no, wow,

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Speaker 2: because it's even like the way we sleep, like we

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Speaker 2: sleep very cuddly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, cute Okay, you want to do the next one. Yes,

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Speaker 1: the first one was consistency.

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Speaker 2: The next one is attunement. So that would look like

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Speaker 2: being truly present, emotional closeness, exploring each other's.

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Speaker 1: In our worlds. What does that even mean?

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Speaker 2: I think that would be like asking introspective questions and

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Speaker 2: wanting to know each other deeper on a deeper level,

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Speaker 2: deep connection, feeling safe in each other's energy. A tunement

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Speaker 2: is necessary for a I think, a good healthy relationship.

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Speaker 1: But if someone really shines at that, well.

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Speaker 2: When I can tell you something that does bother me

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Speaker 2: is when you can tell somebody's not present with you

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Speaker 2: and you're trying that to me kind of locks in

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Speaker 2: with quality time because when I'm like having a meal,

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Speaker 2: or last night we were walking. We're on a walk

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Speaker 2: and Patrick was playing with this baseball and I could

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Speaker 2: tell he was more interested in playing catch with himself

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Speaker 2: than listening to my story.

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Speaker 3: And at one point I said, okay, you got to

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Speaker 3: get rid of the baseball.

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Speaker 2: I didn't feel like he was like a two. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it wasn't a tune and that was our quality time.

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Speaker 2: So I think those go hand in hand in hand.

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Speaker 2: He kept the baseball.

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Speaker 3: It's now at our house, where did he get the baseball?

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00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 2: So across the street room our neighborhood is all yeah,

361
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Speaker 2: and there was a baseball on the sidewalk, and I

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Speaker 2: was like. At first I was like, oh, Patrick, a baseball,

363
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 2: You should pick it up. And then I was like,

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Speaker 2: throw the baseball back to the children.

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Speaker 3: He kept it.

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Speaker 1: He regretted that. Yeah, okay. Next one is vulnerability, and

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Speaker 1: that's just being open and honest, discussing deep thoughts, expressing

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00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 1: wants and needs. Let's guard down, like you allow for

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00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 1: that to just again being vulnerable, because that's what it is,

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00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:33,919
Speaker 1: and then you take risks and sharing feelings about past,

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00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:39,679
Speaker 1: present and future also necessary, also necessary, Yeah, the relationship.

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Speaker 3: The next one is for play.

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Speaker 1: You wanted this one, didn't.

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00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:48,920
Speaker 2: I just lucked out flirting and teasing, playful tension, increasing arousal,

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00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:55,639
Speaker 2: demonstrating desire including all types physical, emotional, intellectual, experiential, and spiritual.

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Speaker 1: What does intellectual for play look like?

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't know that. To me, I'm like, is

378
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 2: that like deep questions?

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00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,640
Speaker 1: Flash cards? Flash cards? Maybe I'm thinking that because I'm

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00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 1: doing them with my son for like the question Now

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00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,720
Speaker 1: you're like flash cards not the questions, not conversation cards.

382
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:17,560
Speaker 1: I was making a joke that did not go do

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00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 1: you want to explain that?

384
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:18,760
Speaker 4: Well?

385
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,440
Speaker 1: I was thinking intellectual foreplay, like hey, you want to

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00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 1: do some division flash cards? Like hey you want to

387
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,600
Speaker 1: do multiplications? You going to do the nines?

388
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 3: The nines? Or like do you want to do these.

389
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,879
Speaker 1: Nine eighteen twenty seven? Say more? Keep going?

390
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 3: Are you trying to arouse nine times? Oh my gosh, hot,

391
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 3: how do you know that.

392
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 1: We're doing the nines?

393
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Speaker 4: Well?

394
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 3: I think that yeah, you should know with my.

395
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Speaker 1: Fifteen year old it's also weird now this everything's gotten weird.

396
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:59,560
Speaker 1: But do you get it? Yeah? Four play physical, emotional, intellectual, experiential,

397
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,360
Speaker 1: and be you a ritual. So after foreplay, this would

398
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:09,440
Speaker 1: be the final one. Nurture taking care of each other, holding, caressing, rubbing,

399
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,960
Speaker 1: gentle touch. Oh so this is sort of like test

400
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:17,719
Speaker 1: your massage nurture. I need to be nurtured, soothing, consoling,

401
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 1: creating a safe space, protecting, reassuring, So it.

402
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 3: Can be physical, but it's also like all.

403
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Speaker 1: Different ways, but I need to be reassured that you

404
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 1: can massage me with your elbow on the floor. I mean,

405
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,639
Speaker 1: it was like blown I'm like, what did you do

406
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 1: you now? I know you have a certificate from somewhere.

407
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 3: He watched them. You're certificed.

408
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 1: He's certified. He could stretch too, Like he knows how

409
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,679
Speaker 1: to stretch all the things I guess from being an

410
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 1: athlete back in the day. And I told him I

411
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 1: was thinking about going to the stretch lab and he's like,

412
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 1: I can do all of that.

413
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,679
Speaker 3: You're like, we'll prove it.

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00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, what the time?

415
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Speaker 2: What is the You might have answered this already, so sorry,

416
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:06,119
Speaker 2: but sitting here right now, other than his steadiness, what's

417
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:09,199
Speaker 2: his most attractive quality right now in your relationship? Not

418
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,320
Speaker 2: when you first started dating or six months ago, but today?

419
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 2: What do you find most attractive about him? Outside of

420
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 2: his consistency?

421
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I have lots of different things, like rattling

422
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 1: off in my head, but watching him be a dad

423
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: is one of the best things ever. He's a really

424
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Speaker 1: great dad. I'm very comfortable around him. Like the ease

425
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Speaker 1: that I have when I'm with him is just unmatched. Like,

426
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 1: I'm very very comfortable. I like how he is knowledgeable

427
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 1: about lots of things. So number three, oh, how many

428
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 1: of are I supposed to get?

429
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 3: I guess said one.

430
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 1: But as I said, I have lots of things that

431
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,200
Speaker 1: come to my mind, Like I like that he's wise

432
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 1: and about like certain things that I like. I don't

433
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 1: care about sports, but I love that he knows all

434
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 1: about sports. He can hold a conversation with anybody, anybody.

435
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 3: I think that's like guys.

436
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 2: They literally could walk up to a stranger and be like,

437
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 2: so the Red Sox game last night, and like start

438
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,679
Speaker 2: talking about like what happened in the bottom of the

439
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 2: third inning in all the people's names.

440
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 3: I don't you know what.

441
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 2: I think men have just like a separate part of

442
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 2: their brain just for that, and it was crazy, and

443
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 2: they have all the sports knowledge because that's how Also

444
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 2: a lot of men connect is talking about sports versus

445
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 2: like women connect on a lot of times more deeper.

446
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 1: When he connects with his boys. But that's another thing too,

447
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 1: like I connect, I can connect with him on deeper

448
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 1: things as well, and I can appreciate that. But what

449
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,120
Speaker 1: it is about the sports stuff, I think, even though

450
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 1: I'm not a sports girl, like I don't know any

451
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: of that stuff. I don't care about it, but I

452
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,359
Speaker 1: find it very attractive that he does, because if he

453
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: didn't I'd be like, oh, like if he didn't like sports,

454
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: And I wonder if that's because the guys that I'm

455
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 1: around like they say, it's like weird red flag. If

456
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: like a guy tries to talk about sports and he

457
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: doesn't know what he's talking about, Oh like that that's

458
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 1: super embarrassing. What you haven't never heard that before?

459
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 2: No, I've heard of women who are like, if they

460
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 2: don't like sports, that's a no for me.

461
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 3: I personally don't feel that way.

462
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 2: I do find it attractive how much Patrick loves the

463
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 2: Falls and just sports in general, because what's attractive about

464
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 2: it is him caring so deeply about things and like

465
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,880
Speaker 2: being just I like seeing him excited. But I would

466
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable if he was trying to show up as

467
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 2: somebody that he's not and that's why he like, Right,

468
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,439
Speaker 2: If he's talking about sports and he doesn't know what

469
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 2: he's talking about, but he's trying to act, I would

470
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 2: feel sad.

471
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 3: I think.

472
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 2: So I'm like, oh, you don't have to be that way,

473
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 2: But I don't feel like that's like a it if

474
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 2: a guy doesn't like sports. Yeah, I have heard people say,

475
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 2: and I kind of agree that, like men talking about

476
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 2: sports is their form of gossip because they're talking about

477
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 2: other people, right, it's not like deep level stuff, and

478
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 2: it's a way to connect, just like other.

479
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 3: People do that with other people's lives or.

480
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 2: Like women who talk about like reality TV or something

481
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 2: like that. Like it's gossip, and like that's men's form

482
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 2: of gossiping.

483
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: Since you brought up gossip, it maybe go over to

484
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: this other article I pulled, not even for today, but

485
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: I just went to it and it was talking about

486
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 1: how gossip could be a good thing. Yeah, we agree

487
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 1: or disagree because we've been taught to see gossip as toxic, cruel,

488
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 1: and always a red flag. But the truth is most

489
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: gossip isn't destructive. It's adaptive. And the fear of gossip

490
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: is quietly keeping a lot of people lonely because they

491
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 1: don't feel like they can connect. And it doesn't have

492
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,400
Speaker 1: to be a cruel or mean spirited gossip session most

493
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: of the time. It can just be a way humans

494
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 1: are connecting and learning and bonding. And then it went

495
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,919
Speaker 1: on to lists like the things that gossip can do

496
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 1: for us. First of all, gossip can keep us safe

497
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,959
Speaker 1: because it's spread social information about who's trustworthy and who

498
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 1: might harm us. Gossip builds connection. Sharing stories, even the

499
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: lighthearted one, creates intimacy and belonging, and then it reinforces

500
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 1: values because when we talk about others' behavior, we're also

501
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: defining what's acceptable in our community.

502
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:11,679
Speaker 2: So do you know where that came from you? If

503
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 2: you don't, it's okay, because I didn't know if it

504
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 2: came from this. I started listening to a book called

505
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 2: You Didn't Hear This From Me. It's by Kelsey McKinney,

506
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 2: and she has a podcast called Normal Gossip, and it's

507
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 2: all about what you said, how people think that gossip

508
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 2: is this bad thing, but it's also something that helps

509
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: connect people, and it's it's not all like we're talking

510
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 2: when you hear gossip. I think what people think is

511
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 2: you're talking crap about people, you're talking badly about.

512
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 3: People, you're in other people's business.

513
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 2: But a lot of times it is like, yeah, a

514
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 2: way to connect and a way to like process things

515
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 2: with friends.

516
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 3: And I think that must be where I.

517
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 2: Heard the stuff about sports, because in the beginning, I

518
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 2: think I only got like a couple chapters in. But

519
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:57,439
Speaker 2: in the beginning she was talking about how historically people

520
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 2: think gossip is for women and men don't gossip, but

521
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 2: men do gossip. It just isn't seen as that. Yeah,

522
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 2: and that's where like the sports comes in.

523
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 1: So I went to click around to where I pulled

524
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: that from, and it was the Surprising Benefits of Gossip,

525
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 1: a study done at the University of Westminster. It's over

526
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 1: the ponds from BBC.

527
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 3: So it must be legit.

528
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's from over there.

529
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 3: So yeah, go gossip.

530
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,199
Speaker 1: And this is an article from twenty twenty two, so

531
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 1: very relevant now only a few years old, but that's relevant. Yeah,

532
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it wasn't anything that I pulled like

533
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 1: from today, oh or yeh, yesterday. I had it somewhere separate,

534
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: like I have like different open documents on my computer.

535
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: I mean, because on the Bobby.

536
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 3: Bone Show we have to read that from twenty twenty two.

537
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 1: It is from twenty twenty two that I had in

538
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: a doc saved to like talk about at some point

539
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: on the Bobby Bone Show. But it was research from

540
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two.

541
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 3: Okay, I thought, you just like have had that saved

542
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 3: on your computer.

543
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 1: For SNCE twenty twenty two.

544
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, really, we hadn't talk about that.

545
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: We haven't gotten to it yet I'm still waiting.

546
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,719
Speaker 3: You're like, please pick the article about gossip.

547
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 1: One day, we're going to talk about how gossip could

548
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: be a good thing. Yeah, it's not as bad as

549
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 1: we think it is. But also gossip can be very

550
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 1: toxic and destructive. You just have to do it in

551
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: the right way. That's like an I'm glad you clarified

552
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: about the sports thing. I don't mind if a guy

553
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: doesn't like sports. What I was saying was unattractive, which

554
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 1: i know we touched on it, but I'm just going

555
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 1: to reiterate since we have male listeners. Is just that

556
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: if they're not into it, but they try to fake

557
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: like they are, it's not attractive, Like you don't have

558
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: to do that.

559
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 3: You have to do that.

560
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 2: And I'm sure there's things that, like, I mean, I

561
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 2: can seek for myself. There are things that I have

562
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 2: done that I've been just trying to fit in that

563
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 2: probably didn't come off.

564
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 3: So women do that too. You're just saying that this

565
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 3: is one way.

566
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 2: That men can do, but there's probably so much pressure

567
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 2: for them to like do that, like to be a man,

568
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 2: Like I know more about what it's like to be

569
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 2: a woman, and the pressures to be a woman and

570
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: what I feel, what I feel like the world says

571
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 2: I should care about. I don't know as much on

572
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 2: the male side, and I'm assuming that this is part

573
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: of it, is like, you should like these masculine things.

574
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 2: Sports are masculine. You should know this, so you should

575
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 2: be able to talk about this with people.

576
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: Okay, Approximately fourteen percent of men are not a fan

577
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 1: of sports at all.

578
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 2: Not one sport, not a single Can you just google

579
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,640
Speaker 2: what are the top hobbies for men?

580
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 3: See if a hobbies hobbies?

581
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 1: Okay, ooh, woodworking in a number one.

582
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 3: No way, okay, talk about an attractive hobby.

583
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: What a woodworker like a carpenter, Like Jesus, it's that hot.

584
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 3: I'm more thinking like building things. He could build anything.

585
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 2: He'd build you a coffee You could see something online

586
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 2: that you're like, I want this this coffee table.

587
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 3: He could just make it for you.

588
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. He would like work a tool, like a wood whittler.

589
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,679
Speaker 1: My boyfriend in college had a whittling machine in his

590
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 1: garage and things.

591
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I'm thinking more of carpentry.

592
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, hey, I want new kitchen cabinets and he

593
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: could like, no problem, Yes, that's out there. With a

594
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 1: tool bell like chopping down a tree. Yeah, that's hot.

595
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 2: Mountain biking, that would give me anxiety. I don't know

596
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 2: that I want my partner to do that.

597
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: Okay, Gardening, hiking, video gaming, cooking, photography, scuba diving, brewing.

598
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 3: Okay, if you're.

599
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 2: Just listing hobbies, because I don't think scuba diving is

600
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 2: a top. That's probably a hobby, but I don't think

601
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 2: that's in the top for men.

602
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: Okay, let me move on to a different answer. Top

603
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 1: hobbies for men are very diverse. It says, so we

604
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 1: did about it, including sports and fitness, and in that

605
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: they put golf, hiking, and cycling. Then there's outdoor activities

606
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: such as fishing, camping, hunting. Then there's creative and manual

607
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: arts like woodworking, playing musical instruments, and gardening. Then there's

608
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: social and intellectual pursuits like gaming, cooking, reading, and learning

609
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 1: new languages. Hobbies are excellent for physical health, mental clarity,

610
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: self expression, and building connection with others. Just to round

611
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: out thing, I mean, does that? Yeah, those are the

612
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: hobbies you think men would be into.

613
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 3: Like I guess I was thinking, like hunting.

614
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: Fishing, fishing, hunting, fishing, hunting and fish.

615
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 2: We then every day gaming is one that I'm grateful.

616
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 2: My husband does not participate in.

617
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: Same same my ex husband none of that. He didn't

618
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: do that, and my boyfriend now does it like I don't.

619
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: I've never dated a gamer, well I did, remember I

620
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: called him gamer gamer gamer boy one time.

621
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 3: I said, what are you doing?

622
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: He said, my friends are coming over play video games,

623
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 2: and I think I texted you and I was like, I.

624
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: Don't know what to do with this. Yeah, he was

625
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,479
Speaker 1: having like a gaming party.

626
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: Yes, it was Saturday night, which, like, not to shame

627
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 2: anybody for their hobbies, that's great. I think that meant

628
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 2: we weren't compatible, right, you know.

629
00:29:58,520 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 3: This is just what we're like.

630
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 2: If I I was having to do that on a

631
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 2: Saturday night, that's what we're doing.

632
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 3: I'm out. However, I don't.

633
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: Love sports, but on a Saturday night, I do like

634
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 2: going to somebody's house or to like a sports bar

635
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 2: and watching football. Not that I'm watching it, but I

636
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: love the community aspect of it.

637
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to my first UVA football game this weekend

638
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: with the boyfriend and the kids. His kids so he

639
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: went there for college, and I'm meeting all of his

640
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: college friends too. Apparently every fall they pick one game

641
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 1: to all meet up at, and this is the one.

642
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 3: Is uva good?

643
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: I should know that because I've been watching games with

644
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: him the last several weeks. Conference don't remember. I don't

645
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 1: know who is not sac. I don't think there's a

646
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,719
Speaker 1: Who are they playing? I don't know, but you know

647
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 1: you're going. I am going, okay, And I got a

648
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: I got.

649
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 3: A navy blueca to get outfit.

650
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: Yes, I got a It's like a navy blueish button

651
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: down and it has orange stripes.

652
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,719
Speaker 3: The orange and it's dowed.

653
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know that brand, but it's

654
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: like not like my.

655
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 3: Rule was orange and navy shirt normally the.

656
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: Way it's styled, it's cute. And my rule was when

657
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: I was shopping for something to wear because I knew

658
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: I needed orange and navy colors, I was like, whatever

659
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: I'm spending money on, I'm getting a type of shirt

660
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: and a brand that I will wear a lot. So

661
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 1: it's like a little button down bodysuit thing. I think

662
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: it's cute a body Oh, I'm thinking, like, yes, okay,

663
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: maps question.

664
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 2: This is a big deal because you're meeting friends, you

665
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 2: haven't met before?

666
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 3: Right? Are you nervous? Question?

667
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 2: This is a big deal because you're meeting friends you

668
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 2: haven't met before. Right, are you nervous or are you

669
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 2: more excited?

670
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: Like?

671
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 3: What are you feeling?

672
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: Why do you think I about my stad shirt? I mean,

673
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: let's see, I'm feeling well, I'm excited. I'm feeling included,

674
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: you know, because it's a special it's a thing he

675
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 1: does with his kids, and like I'm invited. I'm feeling yeah.

676
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,719
Speaker 1: I mean that's pretty excited, excited and included, Okay, And

677
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I'm nervous.

678
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 2: So do you know any of the friends? Have you

679
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 2: met any of these friends? Because I know you've met

680
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 2: some of his friends before.

681
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: I think one of the wives.

682
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 3: I guess.

683
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly who is going to be there.

684
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 1: When I get there and I see their faces, I'll

685
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: report back, okay, because it's like there's a lot of

686
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: names and a lot of people because he's from Nashville,

687
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 1: So sometimes with him it gets really tricky because he

688
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: knows so many people from growing up here and then

689
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: just in his work and his dad still is like

690
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 1: in business here, and I just they know you're running

691
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: too people everywhere, and then there's oh, no, I went

692
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: to college with that guy. I went to high school

693
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 1: with that guy. I went to junior high with that guy.

694
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: Oh I lived store to him in elementary school. And

695
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, it'd be like if I lived in Austin,

696
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: it might feel that way for him, if it was

697
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 1: a little overwhelming because a lot of A and M

698
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,560
Speaker 1: people or UT people, like there was just college. I mean,

699
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: Austin's kind of exploded a lot in Nashville is much smaller,

700
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,239
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean. So sometimes with him,

701
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: when he's talking about people, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm

702
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: really trying to keep up with who you're talking about.

703
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: But oh, there's just so many people.

704
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 3: You're too popular.

705
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, when we first started dating, I was like, what

706
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: are you mayor like everywhere we would go be it

707
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: wouldn't be like we have to stop and have these

708
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: full blown conversations, but everybody be like Alex, what up?

709
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 1: Like everywhere okay?

710
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 2: But do you not feel like that's everywhere you go?

711
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 2: People you might not know them, but I feel like

712
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: people know you no, like he knows them, so like

713
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 2: you have to say.

714
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: Like they're like, what up? And then I'll be like, oh, yeah,

715
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: that was my college roommates, dad's lawyer, Like I mean, yeah,

716
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: it's like everybody. He remembers everybody.

717
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 2: That's okay, I've told you my fear that like people

718
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 2: don't remember who I am, so I am the opposite

719
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 2: of I grew up here. But when I go places,

720
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 2: if I well, honestly, the backwards happened.

721
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 3: Did I tell you about the girl the grocery store?

722
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:08,919
Speaker 1: I don't think so.

723
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 2: So when we moved, so we've just moved to Franklin,

724
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 2: which is where I grew up. We went to the

725
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 2: grocery store that I went to growing up to get groceries,

726
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, who am I going to run

727
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 2: into here? But like not really thinking I would run

728
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 2: into people because like what are the odds, Like I

729
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 2: don't know who still lives in Franklin.

730
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: Which Franklin's like five minutes outside of Nashville. If people

731
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: always singing and they don't know where that is.

732
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, so didn't moved far away. So we walk in

733
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 3: and like within the first three minutes, this girl does

734
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 3: a double take on me and then she goes, how

735
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 3: are you?

736
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 2: And I was so awkward because I'm like is she

737
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 2: being friendly or do I know her? And should I

738
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 2: say something back or do I just like act cool

739
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 2: and keep going. It was very awkward, very uncomfortable, and

740
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: then Patrick thought, he goes, oh, was that one of

741
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 2: those can't confirm or deny situations.

742
00:34:58,400 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: Like it was Alian client?

743
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 2: And I know, Patrick, I have no idea who that is,

744
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 2: but I think I should so like the opposite is happening,

745
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 2: where like somebody recognizes me. But that's one of my

746
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 2: biggest fears. So I'm sorry to whoever that was. If

747
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,800
Speaker 2: I know you, how are you doing?

748
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: I hope she wasn't one of your clients in your

749
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 1: life idea.

750
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 3: She definitely wasn't one of my clients. But then I

751
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 3: saw another girl that did know.

752
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 2: But I don't like living in this I like where

753
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 2: I live, but my fear is that, like I do

754
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 2: run into somebody and I want to say hi, and

755
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 2: they're like, who are you? I Yeah, I can talk

756
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 2: about this in my own therapy.

757
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: Yeah maybe you should. Maybe you should. Before we go,

758
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 1: I want to talk about work burnout. Like I've got

759
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 1: two different things to touch on with that. One of

760
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: them is like a little short story that is from

761
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 1: Peak Performance with Julia, and when I read her story

762
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: of who she used to be and how she tries

763
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: to show up now, or this example of this thirty

764
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: eight year old woman is who we're going to be

765
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: talking about. I just hope that you can reflect on

766
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 1: being this person, because I know we probably have a

767
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 1: lot of listeners that are this person or you were

768
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: this person, which is.

769
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 3: Okay if you are, but you don't have to be.

770
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 1: You don't have to be in kat and I want

771
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,359
Speaker 1: to give you a big hug and be like, let go,

772
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: let loose, relax, calm down, chill out. My son used

773
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: to say that all the time, those three things, like

774
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 1: if he would be like relax, calm down, chill out

775
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: with his little Haitian accent, it was so cute. All Right,

776
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 1: I'm thirty eight. I answer emails at red lights, in

777
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: the grocery store line and before bed because being the

778
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 1: responsive one has become my identity. At first, it felt good.

779
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: People noticed, they called me reliable, dedicated, a team player,

780
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: But underneath it sounded more like she'll always say yes,

781
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 1: she'll pick up the slack, she'll never push back, And

782
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: over time, what felt like recognition started to feel like resentment.

783
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: Because being responsive doesn't just mean answering fast. It means

784
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 1: sacrificing yourself before anyone else even notices. I've interrupted dinners,

785
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,399
Speaker 1: canceled workouts, stayed up way too late, all to prove

786
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: that I was on top of it. And the hardest part,

787
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,320
Speaker 1: no one even notices the cost. They just notice that

788
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: you're always there. The truth, responsiveness isn't respect and availability

789
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: isn't value high achieving women, what if being respected at

790
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: work didn't mean being available twenty four to seven, Protect

791
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 1: your time, set boundaries that stick, create success on your terms.

792
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 3: Boom drop the mic.

793
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 2: My favorite part of this is her saying it means

794
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,760
Speaker 2: that sacrificing yourself happens before anybody even notices. Like nobody

795
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,399
Speaker 2: notices that you're sacrificing yourself. They just notice that you're there.

796
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 2: That feels important to recognize that, Like they're not seeing

797
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 2: what you're having to say no to or point blank sacker,

798
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 2: They're just seeing that you're available. And people won't have

799
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,760
Speaker 2: the forethought a lot of times to recognize.

800
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,399
Speaker 3: Why you would be available. Yeah, and it's not even

801
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 3: on there.

802
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 2: That's not on them either, right, Like if you're always

803
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: there for me and you don't share with me what

804
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 2: you're missing out on, like I could just it's fair

805
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 2: to assume that you have nothing else going on.

806
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, and even yes, people will you. As a therapist,

807
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 1: you probably know that sometimes there's a some sort of

808
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 1: wound attached to people pleasing like I must show up

809
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: all the time type behavior. So it could be some

810
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: inner work that could be done because I get that

811
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying this and like we're like, oh, you don't

812
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 1: have to be this person. But it's not as simple

813
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: as like snapping the finger and being like chill out,

814
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: calm down, relaxed. It's not that simple since.

815
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 3: There was probably a threat if you were not always there.

816
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 2: What was the threat that, like you'll be replaced or

817
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 2: people will forget you, or maybe there will be a

818
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 2: punishment of some sort.

819
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 1: Well, and it's got to be exhausting to live that way.

820
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: So it's a perfect transition into burnout. And we're just

821
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: going to run through quickly like sneaky ways that burnout

822
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 1: can appear at work. And so I'm just going to

823
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 1: go through this checklist, and you take inventory in your

824
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: own life, but saying yes to everything at work is

825
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:22,760
Speaker 1: the number one thing answering emails at midnight, feeling guilty

826
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: for taking a break, everything feels annoying, rewriting the same

827
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: to do list three times, working right after you wake up,

828
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,279
Speaker 1: and then not being able to ask for help or

829
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 1: not choosing to say, hey, I need help with this.

830
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 1: And I get that. Some people are like, oh, yeah, right, okay,

831
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 1: But I don't have that luxury to not answer the

832
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 1: email at midnight, or I don't have that luxury like

833
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 1: I'm trying to keep up, or I want this next

834
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 1: promotion or this person's going to get ahead, and so

835
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: that's going to be a difficult place to be in too.

836
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: But those are just sneaky ways burnout can appear at work,

837
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: So just make sure you take inventory of that so

838
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 1: that you don't end up getting burnt out, Like can

839
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: this email weight? I caught myself getting on my phone

840
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 1: first thing in the morning the other day and I

841
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: had to like throw my phone. It's like, no, not

842
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: gonna take over me right now. This is my time,

843
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 1: And I'll deal with you when I get to work,

844
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,439
Speaker 1: because it's really easy, and sometimes not even work stuff,

845
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 1: I'll go on Instagram and then I'm like, no, I'll.

846
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 2: Get burnout from all kinds of things. But I think

847
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 2: even that, yeah, it's easier said than done. And so

848
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,240
Speaker 2: when I have these kinds of conversations with people at work,

849
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 2: clients of mine, I know it's easier and it might

850
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 2: sometimes be annoying for me to point things out, like well,

851
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 2: this this, and if you change this, this and this,

852
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: then this feeling or this might not be there. But

853
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 2: if like they feel trapped or like they can't But

854
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 2: I think it's helpful to realize that sometimes it's it

855
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 2: is important to whigh what's more important this promotion or

856
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 2: the enjoyment of my life overall, and like, yeah, this

857
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 2: promotion might come with money, it might come with more

858
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 2: financial freedom, it might come with certain things that you've

859
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,280
Speaker 2: told ourselves in our head that we want are important

860
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 2: and we need. But would I even be able to

861
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 2: enjoy them if my life feels like it's crumbling and

862
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 2: if I'm irritable all the time, if I hate my

863
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 2: job because it worth it? And if the answer is yes, cool,

864
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 2: but it's okay to ask that question and it might

865
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: be no, and then I'm working towards something.

866
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: Why smiling because my brain when you said worth it,

867
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: this is where.

868
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 3: It's worth it. Let me work.

869
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 2: Put the thing out with it.

870
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,280
Speaker 1: Like That's instantly where my brain goes.

871
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I said that, you just were like

872
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: a little kid if I made like some kind of

873
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 2: I said something, you like had like a sex joke.

874
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: Right right, But no, I just had Missy Elliott like

875
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 1: You're like, you have to you have to weigh is

876
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,919
Speaker 1: it worth it? And I'm like, let it work.

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00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 2: Speaking of you know that girl that was the dancer

878
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 2: in Missy Elliot's all her music videos growing up. I

879
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,439
Speaker 2: think her name was like Alison or a Listen or something.

880
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: You remember that She's this is a nothing burger that

881
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 2: I'm about to give you guys. But so my brain went,

882
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,840
Speaker 2: is I keep seeing her all of our TikTok. She

883
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: just came out with like a tell all book, oh

884
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 2: about like what.

885
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: It was really like in the industry, in the industry. Yeah, okay, so.

886
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 3: We'll check it on that note, check it out, all right.

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00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,840
Speaker 1: We love, love love hearing from y'all, especially all you

888
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: guys out there.

889
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, ghit us up. Men that like sports and some

890
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,840
Speaker 3: men that don't like sports.

891
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 1: And women all of you. We want to we want

892
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: to hear from you, so email us hey there at

893
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: Feeling Things podcast dot com, or you can call us

894
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 1: eight seven seven two O seven two O seven seven.

895
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 2: And if you want to hear from us sign up

896
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: for a newsletter, you could do that now by clicking

897
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 2: the link in the show notes.

898
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: We have a link in the show notes to make

899
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: it easy. And then, oh, well, I mean, and Feeling

900
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: Things podcast is are social and that's where we are

901
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 1: on YouTube too.

902
00:42:58,480 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 4: You know.

903
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 3: It's so crazy.

904
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 2: So when we started this podcast, we had this newsletter

905
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,959
Speaker 2: sign up and a lot of people emailed us saying,

906
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 2: I want to sign up for the newsletter?

907
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 3: How do I do that? And so we told people

908
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,280
Speaker 3: to email us and we would send them to the link.

909
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 2: Why did it take six months for us to realize

910
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 2: that we could just put the link?

911
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:19,879
Speaker 1: I don't know.

912
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 3: And also nobody thought of that.

913
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 1: If y'all are wondering why we have not really you know,

914
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: kicked off the whole newsletter thing, tell them gat, I'm

915
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: just kidding.

916
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 3: Well, we're.

917
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 1: Both of us. I was just kidding. Well, we had

918
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 1: differences in how we wanted to handle it and Cat one.

919
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 3: And that's why you have got so.

920
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 1: It is sort of on cat Uh, we did have differences,

921
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: but I do think that the way we're going to

922
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: go about it is going to be great. And but

923
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: we're kicking it back. Yes, we're circling back to the

924
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 1: newsletter because we're about to have a calendar and a

925
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,919
Speaker 1: schedule and we're gonna have deadlines and then we're gonna

926
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 1: get burnout and then we'll see Kat and are just

927
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: trying to avoid burnouts. We're like newsletter on but no,

928
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: it's something we really want to do and we look

929
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: forward to adding it. We just had some behind the

930
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: scenes end up hang ups and differences, but we're here

931
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be good. So make sure you sign

932
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: up because you don't want to miss out because you

933
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: never know. We're gonna drop in the newsletter.

934
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 3: We're keeping you guys on your toes.

935
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: Behind the scenes stuff.

936
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 3: It's gonna be really good, really good worth the wait.

937
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 1: I mean, we talk about things like Missy Elliott's backup

938
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 1: to answer from back in the day. That's now just kidding. Okay,

939
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 1: hope you have.

940
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 3: The day you need to have. Bye bye,