Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This as always
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Craig Kikowski. And when I say as always,
Speaker 1: I mean this is the second time I've ever done
Speaker 1: this kind I'm sucking nervous. And there's also there's also
Speaker 1: a lot of other ship to worry about that Kevin
Speaker 1: never talks about, like seen suggestions, hosting the zoom uh
Speaker 1: sending out invites the zen caster, the fucking egos of
Speaker 1: these performers. How does Kevin Pollack do it? It is
Speaker 1: truly a thankless, thankless job. Anyway, Let's meet these people
Speaker 1: who are here to improvise today. Uh, starting with Chris Alvarado. Chris,
Speaker 1: how am I doing so far? I think you're doing great?
Speaker 1: And you know what, good for you for letting the
Speaker 1: people look behind the curtain, right. Yeah, Well, there's a
Speaker 1: vulnerability I think in you know, admitting you know how
Speaker 1: how stressed out? But all of this makes sense. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's your here's your real question. Would you rather be
Speaker 1: a little too hot or a little too cold? Oh,
Speaker 1: that's such a hard question. I'm gonna go with I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go with a little, a little, a little, a
Speaker 1: little too just a little, just a little either way,
Speaker 1: a little too cold, you'd rather be a little too cold,
Speaker 1: a little too cold. I don't love my answer, I know, Craig,
Speaker 1: I don't love it. I'm done. I made my answer,
Speaker 1: final answer. I'm glad I'm here. I mean, there's ways
Speaker 1: to interpret that. I always feel like when talking about sleep,
Speaker 1: like in your bed. You know it's a little too cold.
Speaker 1: You can always add more blankets, right, you know, but
Speaker 1: it's a little too hot, you know. I find it
Speaker 1: harder just because, like, just because, Craig, I'm thinking about this.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking I have to live in that stay eat
Speaker 1: for however long without being able to correct it meaning
Speaker 1: a little too hot. I could like to turn the
Speaker 1: a C. I'm thinking I just have to live in
Speaker 1: the state, Right, Craig, that's a better way to interpret it.
Speaker 1: I think you can't. You can't correct there's no jacket
Speaker 1: if it's a little too cold. Yeah, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: taking it all in. This is maybe the deepest question
Speaker 1: so far. Okay, uh, well, let's let's see if if
Speaker 1: I have an equally deep question for Jackie Gonzalez to Ruthie, Jackie,
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life, you can only taste salt, sweet,
Speaker 1: bitter or so. I I know where you're going with
Speaker 1: this bitter or so? Are you can't choose you, mommy,
Speaker 1: because that would be cheating what what what tastes? But
Speaker 1: are you gonna focus on? I'm gonna focus on the tooth,
Speaker 1: and that's my sweet tooth, my friend. Uh, it's strong
Speaker 1: in my body and my um my blood jugger is
Speaker 1: always like at a very healthy level, so I've feel
Speaker 1: like my my body also does well. I'm made for sugar.
Speaker 1: I love sugar. Um, yeah, I do love. I love sweet.
Speaker 1: I love sweet, and you can obviously eat. You can
Speaker 1: have a salad. You just won't taste anything. You won't
Speaker 1: taste them. You won't taste the bitter anymore. They the
Speaker 1: only the only taste that will pop are the sweet
Speaker 1: ones that would be wonderful for me. I'm wondering who
Speaker 1: like for me? It's it's salt. If I had to
Speaker 1: go with one, some people would love I'm going with
Speaker 1: I'm going with salty food. I love pizza, popcorn, potato
Speaker 1: chips like all that ship. But who's going with bitter
Speaker 1: or sour? Thing with bitter? Very fine palette? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think they have an issue issue I thought of them
Speaker 1: as same taste, bitter and make the same face. Who
Speaker 1: is the strange person who just talked, Well, it's it's
Speaker 1: a tool, sig oh, a tool. I imagine at some
Speaker 1: point in your life you've purchased a motor vehicle. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: What is your what is your approach for dealing with
Speaker 1: car salespeople? Uh, you just have to realize that it's
Speaker 1: gonna take a lot of time, and there's no concept
Speaker 1: of like walk in, walk out. Well, I'm not there
Speaker 1: financially yet I've heard from people who are there financially
Speaker 1: that sometimes they will just you can work it out
Speaker 1: on the phone and they just drop it off at
Speaker 1: your house and leave. The people do that. People do that,
Speaker 1: they by car, the guy comes to their house, they sign,
Speaker 1: and then that guy leaves somehow without a car. And uh,
Speaker 1: that's exciting. I look forward to that one day. But
Speaker 1: right now, Uh, you know, you just you know, you
Speaker 1: do your research, you do your Edmonds Go Blue book,
Speaker 1: and you you just come in well prepared. You know
Speaker 1: as much as they do, which I like, sorry too,
Speaker 1: I like everybody to know and I think the what
Speaker 1: you do, but just in case they don't, you are
Speaker 1: the most grown up person. I know you also have
Speaker 1: a very fun, playful side, but like you're the type
Speaker 1: of guy that when my dad met him, was like,
Speaker 1: I want to I wouldn't mind having some qualities that
Speaker 1: a tool has. Its like my own father, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, he grows up when he grows up.
Speaker 1: I can just imagine you walking into the dealership pretty
Speaker 1: as far as you, as far as one can be,
Speaker 1: very well prepared. You got a price, you you know
Speaker 1: what you're looking for. I imagine that you're just very
Speaker 1: like prepared is the word. We're not walking and I'm scared.
Speaker 1: I'm like, can I please maybe have a car? I
Speaker 1: hope so, I don't know. I'm sure they're taking me
Speaker 1: for a ride still, but we do. I think you
Speaker 1: have to allow that, just like let him take you
Speaker 1: for a ride for a little bit. It's terrifying. Thank
Speaker 1: you a tool for for making it easier. Uh, last,
Speaker 1: but not least, Mark Gagliardi, Hello Mark, it is never
Speaker 1: too early to start planning your funeral. Uh what what
Speaker 1: show too? Does that weone gonna sing along too? I
Speaker 1: think I mean, obviously there's gonna be a whole section.
Speaker 1: It might be a medley. There will be playing medley
Speaker 1: of chorus based song, so it'll be you know, you'll
Speaker 1: have your seasons of Love there you go. Yeah, Seasons
Speaker 1: of Love is going to be on there. Um that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like. I don't know. I want my funeral
Speaker 1: to be a a triumphant affair, so I've probably throw
Speaker 1: some Do you hear the people sing in there? I
Speaker 1: love it? Do you hear the people sing? Yeah? There
Speaker 1: more people who can participate, I think, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want a big rousing or maybe even um, consider
Speaker 1: yourself from Oliver, that's a big rousing yourself. Yeah, family,
Speaker 1: anything that would be lots of people marching through a
Speaker 1: European city. This is great. I can't wait. I can't wait. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean I can. Let's wait a while. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be great. Uh Okay. Those are our alchemists for today
Speaker 1: and uh that's been our show. No all of them
Speaker 1: we're gonna improvised for you in a minute. But all
Speaker 1: of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails, or
Speaker 1: from our Patreon v I p s to become a
Speaker 1: Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content like
Speaker 1: stand alone bonus scenes video of our recording sessions and
Speaker 1: at the highest level of support Alchemniac, you'll have the
Speaker 1: chance to join one of our recording sessions. Just head
Speaker 1: on over to patreon dot com slash alchemy this. If
Speaker 1: you'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email, please
Speaker 1: write to the podcast at our new ish email address,
Speaker 1: Alchemy This email at gmail dot com. That's seen one
Speaker 1: today comes from Luca Yee. Lou Ka says, why didn't
Speaker 1: you tell me you were running out of scenes? Well,
Speaker 1: that was true at the time you wrote this email, Luca,
Speaker 1: we are no longer running out of scenes. We have, uh,
Speaker 1: we have a plethora that we will never I can
Speaker 1: tell you right now we will never ever ever get
Speaker 1: to some of these seats set. So we're good for
Speaker 1: right now. But at the time we we made a
Speaker 1: flea and and you guys answered the call and so,
Speaker 1: uh so we've got a lot of great ones. So
Speaker 1: Lucas says, why didn't you tell me you're running out
Speaker 1: of scenes? I've been rationing them. Uh, here's one. Never
Speaker 1: late for school. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go,
Speaker 1: let's go, let's go go. Get your stuff, get your stuff.
Speaker 1: Trevor Trevor, Trevor Frederick Johnson, Trevor Frederick Johnson. But Dr Johnson,
Speaker 1: can I call you Dad yet? When you when you've
Speaker 1: earned and you hit all your marks on our on
Speaker 1: our checklist. Yeah, maybe then we'll have a proper relationship.
Speaker 1: Right now, you are about to be late for school again.
Speaker 1: I can't have that up. You go all right, I'm up.
Speaker 1: I'm up, Julie. Yes, I don't know if you noticed,
Speaker 1: but I actually tied my own bow tie today. I
Speaker 1: thought that it would be a great little accent to
Speaker 1: my already superb uniform. Julie, you are the poster child.
Speaker 1: You heard me. I think you heard me. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I may have mumbled it under my breath, but if
Speaker 1: you want it louder, it was. I think Dad would
Speaker 1: love to hear what you just said. I'm up, I'm up,
Speaker 1: I'm going to school. He used an expelutive. He used
Speaker 1: an expelutive. Thank you, Julie. I'll handle it from here. Um, Julie,
Speaker 1: you can drive today, Oh my god, saying she's eleven.
Speaker 1: When you match your responsibilities with your intellect, you get perks. Ah. Fine,
Speaker 1: remember that's my only thing. When you match say it
Speaker 1: your responsibility. When your responsibilities with your intellects, you get
Speaker 1: parks Principal Dugger. As you know, today is awards day.
Speaker 1: I know that Bosworth and the principal of this school.
Speaker 1: I'm the vice principle and if something were to happen
Speaker 1: to you, I would step into your place. I know
Speaker 1: the chain of command here in the line of succession.
Speaker 1: All right, Mr Doug, I just wanted to go through
Speaker 1: a couple of things now. For most of the awards,
Speaker 1: the students voted. As you know, I know how the
Speaker 1: voting system where I'm not at dating yet Bosworth. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, if something were to happen to you,
Speaker 1: I would take your position, and I want to let
Speaker 1: you know I'm ready to do so. I know how
Speaker 1: it works. And Buzzworth, are you playing on doing me in? No? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's not it at all. Okay, all right, um, okay,
Speaker 1: So students have voted. Students have voted. We have funniest student,
Speaker 1: we have smartest student, we have best looking students. We
Speaker 1: have the standards second. Say all right, um, we have
Speaker 1: worst looking students this year? We have second, we have
Speaker 1: best looking and second best looking. All right, if you
Speaker 1: wanted to throw that in, we could, We could make
Speaker 1: you and I could judge that right now, Well, I
Speaker 1: think we know who it is. Well, we know who
Speaker 1: it is. We don't we don't, Well what keep that
Speaker 1: between ourselves? A second best looking is almost like, you know,
Speaker 1: losing the Super Bowl? Right? Yeah, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 1: That's the worst team a football is the team that
Speaker 1: loses the Super Bowl. Oh oh I huh. I didn't
Speaker 1: consider it that way. Okay, moving on to some of
Speaker 1: the more boring awards. This is where you and I
Speaker 1: jump in. Okay, so, um, we have um smartest person,
Speaker 1: but that's that's just a number seve person. Yes, that
Speaker 1: goes to me. Yeah, because we don't specify students a
Speaker 1: second smartest person. I was helping. Maybe I could get
Speaker 1: your your vote, okay, okay, And then we're moving on
Speaker 1: to attendance. Attendance, I know, I know, but so here's
Speaker 1: the thing this year is we have two students that
Speaker 1: have never missed the day. And now added those two students,
Speaker 1: one of them has been on time every day and
Speaker 1: one of them was late once. Now, attendance doesn't specify tardiness,
Speaker 1: so I didn't know you're you're going to a tiebreaker.
Speaker 1: I'm saying it's typebreaker day. And as you know, that's
Speaker 1: going to be done publicly. I mean it's in the
Speaker 1: rule books. The students must compete in front of all
Speaker 1: the other students to see who who is the best.
Speaker 1: Buzzworth is one of these students, Trevor Johnson, Yes, sir, okay.
Speaker 1: And who's the other one? His sister Julie Johnson. Julie Johnson,
Speaker 1: Trevor Johnson and Julie Johnson. Now we could just choose
Speaker 1: right now. You can just do it right here. Now,
Speaker 1: who's the one that's that's with slightly late once? Trevor
Speaker 1: was slightly late once? Right now, I have it on
Speaker 1: good authority that they come in the same car, so
Speaker 1: they were probably on campus at the same time. Interesting, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Well if if if something ever happened to you, I
Speaker 1: got these trophies. Here, Where do I put them? Oh,
Speaker 1: you're you're gonna want to put those in the auditorium
Speaker 1: in the backstage. You have to sign off. We got
Speaker 1: a loading doc. You know, we actually got this auditorium
Speaker 1: was redone last year because our musical was such a
Speaker 1: smash hit. We gotta bump up in the booster. So
Speaker 1: you know, we got a lot of good money coming in. Now,
Speaker 1: what did you what did you put on last year?
Speaker 1: We put on it was a mashup. It was a
Speaker 1: mashup of Oliver, le viz Lems and Oliver. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was called Mr Oliver, That's what it was called. Every
Speaker 1: song was a mashup. Yeah, every saw was a bash
Speaker 1: shop everyone. Sure, I would love to hear one of
Speaker 1: those numbers to bottom. Yeah, you should have been there.
Speaker 1: It was incredible, kids, it's such a beautiful job. Well,
Speaker 1: I just want to make sure where do you want
Speaker 1: me to put these? Uh where you want to put
Speaker 1: these swords for the tiebreaker? Oh? Yeah, you could actually
Speaker 1: put that into us. We actually have a new dressing
Speaker 1: room now. We got the whole auditorium revamped. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: got a new bigger backstage situation, loading doc a no
Speaker 1: uh an actual makeup room. Sure, Oliver, that show was fantastical.
Speaker 1: You got to oh well you left. Uh Hey we
Speaker 1: make swords, uh, Trevor. Yeah, what's your sister's name? What's
Speaker 1: your sister's name again? Julie? Julie. Yeah, look, Trevor, I
Speaker 1: see a lot of myself in you. Does that mean anything? Tokay?
Speaker 1: I mean it's it's unfortunate for me. No, No, you're
Speaker 1: kidding me. I love a good luck. You see that
Speaker 1: suber U out back out there, of course, yeah, the
Speaker 1: one that yeah, the one that somebody wrote wash me
Speaker 1: on the back and then drew a finger penis on.
Speaker 1: That's me. That's my car. That's it's a. It's a
Speaker 1: it's a good car. Can I lift this helmet up
Speaker 1: so I can see you a little better. You gotta
Speaker 1: leave the helmet on for a sect there, Trevor. Listen,
Speaker 1: you're gonna fight this is this armor is heavy, and
Speaker 1: that's good. I don't want to do this this she's
Speaker 1: my sister. Is this a pep talk? I don't know
Speaker 1: what's happening. This is a pep talk. Look at me,
Speaker 1: Look at me trying one person in my way, Trevor.
Speaker 1: What Principal Dugger is in my way at becoming allowing
Speaker 1: me to be all I can be? Does that make
Speaker 1: sense to you? I mean, of course he's he's he's
Speaker 1: Principal Dugger. I mean he's he's untouchable. Okay, okay, he's there.
Speaker 1: I mean he's the smartest person in the school, Mrs Prescott,
Speaker 1: could could you come into my office for a second? Yeah? Um? Did?
Speaker 1: Did Vice Principal Bozzworth bring this chai latte onto my desk? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not listen. I've been dealing with loading in and
Speaker 1: loading out the need. I need you to taste the
Speaker 1: latte for me? What am I? Okay? I mean I
Speaker 1: can certainly taste it? Sure, okay, okay, an excited poison.
Speaker 1: An excited poison to taste it normal to me? I
Speaker 1: feel okay? What kind of what kind of traps did
Speaker 1: you to set me in? Look? Bosworth is trying to
Speaker 1: kill me? Okay? Oh, I wish you would talk me that.
Speaker 1: I thought I was tasting it to see if it
Speaker 1: was full fat or non fat so I or cow?
Speaker 1: What the hell? Wait? What is the fat content? To them? Though?
Speaker 1: It seems like it's actually an oat milk, which you
Speaker 1: would think has a lower fat content. But nowadays they're
Speaker 1: adding more to make it a frothier deal so that
Speaker 1: the baristas can actually quip it into a phone on top. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you, Miss Prescott, give it, give it another taste? Okay? Alright, students,
Speaker 1: everybody settled down this time, As you know, this is
Speaker 1: our favorite day of the year here at the school.
Speaker 1: We're going to hand out the awards. You will vote
Speaker 1: it on, Yeah, you will vote it on. Um. Now,
Speaker 1: as you know, I can't be the one to announce
Speaker 1: the winners. That has to be done my principal girl.
Speaker 1: Everybody dog, they love they love you. UM. I just
Speaker 1: want to say thank you to everybody. And if you
Speaker 1: didn't win, that's fine, that's fine too. These these don't
Speaker 1: mean much. These don't mean much. Uh. List this year,
Speaker 1: it's worse looking on the list this year. Don't worry, Seaboard,
Speaker 1: don't worry seabol You've got it. You've got it, but
Speaker 1: with a trophy. No, no trophy, but you know you
Speaker 1: know who you are and you know what you won.
Speaker 1: All right, here we go, then, Principal Tuggers, shall we
Speaker 1: well as always, Let's kick it off with smartest person
Speaker 1: and uh, let's uh and now we've got we've got
Speaker 1: from the drama department, a little preview of the of
Speaker 1: the Spring musical. I believe they have a little song
Speaker 1: for me. Did you want them to come out now
Speaker 1: or after that? Superboard? Okay, let me give it a
Speaker 1: little Can I do a little intro myself. Sure, all right,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Hey, guys, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for your ongoing support of the Drama Club. It's incredible. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that's really inappropriate since you're the Vice Principle, but whatever,
Speaker 1: So we just want to thank you so much. Um.
Speaker 1: Last spring mash up was a big hit. We've got
Speaker 1: another mash up for you. Please get ready for book
Speaker 1: of rent. You can they go? He my name is,
Speaker 1: my name is Chris. Oh my god, my heart. Okay,
Speaker 1: she's she either was poisoned or she's having heartburn from
Speaker 1: them from the oat milk. Which is it? Which is it?
Speaker 1: What are it feels like an elephant sitting on your
Speaker 1: just miss Prescott, Miss Prescott, Um, everything's all right. Me
Speaker 1: and my medical team, I've looked at everything. Looks like
Speaker 1: it was just a bad case of frothy oat milk.
Speaker 1: They really shouldn't froth it. But she's going to be
Speaker 1: She's gonna be all right. Doctor. So just to clarify,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you the vice man, because I can only
Speaker 1: technically speak to the principle. Thank the doctor. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: then please step back, please step back, please step back,
Speaker 1: step out of the room, sir, step out of the room.
Speaker 1: I'm leaving. We don't allow Sorry about that. Mr Principal's
Speaker 1: all right, Ah, so the here's her full diagnostic report. Um,
Speaker 1: you can take a look at it. Poison in there,
Speaker 1: but there's no poison found in there. Uh, all right,
Speaker 1: how we'll deal with that? Yeah, I can't. I can't
Speaker 1: make heads or tail of this doctor. You can take
Speaker 1: this is all her medical details. You can take it
Speaker 1: home with you and analyze it. And no big deal.
Speaker 1: We share with everybody except especially principles. Pretty much, everything's fine.
Speaker 1: She's gonna be all right two days, three days max.
Speaker 1: She'll need to be here. And uh, you know, wait
Speaker 1: a minute, if me and Bosworth are both at the hospital,
Speaker 1: who's running the school? I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I wasn't I wasn't asking you. It was a rhetorical
Speaker 1: so you know the answer already. I don't know the answer. Well,
Speaker 1: then it's not rhetorical. Is it just a question? And
Speaker 1: well I was asking guy. Well, I guess I'm the
Speaker 1: only adult that's still here. Uh, I'll have as a
Speaker 1: pickup truck full of swords. So uh an, let's fight
Speaker 1: each other to death, all right? Ship kids have at
Speaker 1: it all right, let me go grab a handful of
Speaker 1: Oh wow, these two are already starting it up. Hey, yes,
Speaker 1: stand principle, Dugger, it's it's me. I know I'm at
Speaker 1: your house. Probably weren't expected me, can I God, what
Speaker 1: is it? Bosworth? We just sare real names. Our first
Speaker 1: name is We're out of school. Look, I brought you
Speaker 1: a six pack of the bat I just want to say,
Speaker 1: obviously today was not a great day Canadian beer, just
Speaker 1: like I used to drink growing up in Saskatch one.
Speaker 1: That's right, I don't. I want you to look at
Speaker 1: the six pack as an award I'm giving you for
Speaker 1: what being the best? You're the best, principle, You're the
Speaker 1: best person, You're the best everything. Why are you holding
Speaker 1: a knife? Because one of us is going to die here?
Speaker 1: And that's our first scene see two today because the
Speaker 1: listener Amelio, Hey Kevin, my name is Craig. Been a
Speaker 1: listener since I was an intern at a company back
Speaker 1: in two thousand eighteen, and now we've been full time
Speaker 1: with the same company. Still depressed though, anyways. Scene suggestion
Speaker 1: is zoo animals. Commentary of the people watching them. Ah,
Speaker 1: look at these two. Peez wow. I think they're in love.
Speaker 1: Gross nothing gross love. Guys. That guy's got to be
Speaker 1: the ugliest guy is in his realm. Look, just because
Speaker 1: you're a silver back and you've gotta be tough guy
Speaker 1: all the time, it doesn't mean occasionally you can't let
Speaker 1: your heart open. You know what I mean, My heart's open.
Speaker 1: It's just like I'm just making observations, Terry, That's all
Speaker 1: I'm doing. It just feels like maybe you're looking into
Speaker 1: a mirror sometimes. You know, when you say those negative
Speaker 1: things about that, maybe you're saying negative things about yourself.
Speaker 1: Smar semar look at the gorillas. Oh, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's you two, you too, Janey. Ah, Okay, look they're
Speaker 1: both ugly. But but but but what what good is
Speaker 1: it for us to say that? I mean, I'm just uh,
Speaker 1: he's got two kids, and maybe they're both just on
Speaker 1: a very different level of attractiveness, you know, the one
Speaker 1: of the right, probably you could be best looking, and
Speaker 1: the one on the left. And I just think that's
Speaker 1: all I'm pointing. I'm just pointing out. It's not an introspection,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, he's pointing at us, he's pointing
Speaker 1: at us. Well, I don't know that he's pointing at us.
Speaker 1: Uh Seymour, I bet they're talking about us in Gorilla. Okay, okaye,
Speaker 1: more baby, Baby, I think Janie needs to ship. Okay,
Speaker 1: you take her to the bathroom. She just shut her
Speaker 1: brains out like ten minutes ago. Who something has not
Speaker 1: hit her correctly? And you know how I feel about
Speaker 1: public restrooms. Okay, okay, whatever you gotta do, baby, Thank
Speaker 1: you for taking her to the bathroom. Okay, is that
Speaker 1: what you're suggesting? All right? Yes? Would you mind taking
Speaker 1: her to the bathroom? Okay, fine, you guys gonna be
Speaker 1: okay here, smour She's gonna have a great time. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm mom. Look they're pointing at us again. It's one
Speaker 1: of them laughing. Oh we're funny. Could eat tee them? Baby,
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good idea. I'm gonna put my finger
Speaker 1: on the glass and see what they do. It looks
Speaker 1: like the kids trying to eat you. All right, I'll go,
Speaker 1: I'll go. Let me do this all right, here, you
Speaker 1: walk over here and figure out come. Oh he's eating me, kid, kid?
Speaker 1: Do you understand me? Wait? Do you understand me? Understand?
Speaker 1: I gotta release with this grip. I gotta release my finger.
Speaker 1: What mom? It was? It was the most amazing thing.
Speaker 1: What were we doing? What were you doing? Over there?
Speaker 1: A kid? He he can communicate with me, gorilla, you
Speaker 1: check it out, can communicate with me. All right, I'll
Speaker 1: try it. I'll come on, I want to do it.
Speaker 1: I'll try it. This one. I'm not getting anything from
Speaker 1: I'm not getting anything, Okay, Janey, come on, come on, alight, No,
Speaker 1: we we don't have time to see the mirror cats. Okay,
Speaker 1: right here, completely lately, okay, so cute. Okay, we can
Speaker 1: stop for two minutes and look at the mirror cats.
Speaker 1: All right, we're gonna make it all two minutes. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: you gotta choose one of the Hey, Jeff, Jeff, come movie.
Speaker 1: I think this girl is about the about the ship
Speaker 1: of pants. Come on, I know this look. I know
Speaker 1: this look when the Toddles about the ship their pants.
Speaker 1: Come on, guys, guys, guys, stick heads out, stick your
Speaker 1: heads out, your heads out, look at it. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll be lookout. I'll be lookout. Ho shitting ho shitting?
Speaker 1: Who shitting? Who? Ship? This kid right here, this kid
Speaker 1: right here, Jeff, Jeff, you don't just look out right. Now,
Speaker 1: animal's gonna get us. We're in the zoo. Just turn around,
Speaker 1: just turn around, you Why do you always have to
Speaker 1: be on just turning as turn around, Jeff, Not in
Speaker 1: a full circle. No, I mean toward toward the kid.
Speaker 1: Come on, Jeff, the kids about the pants. It's gonna
Speaker 1: gotta look for hyenas. I gotta look fine is we're
Speaker 1: in a zoo. There's no hyen You never know, you
Speaker 1: never know. I'm paranoid. Okay, call me paranoid. But but okay,
Speaker 1: we'll call you paranoid. Have we been attacked once when
Speaker 1: I've been on lookout? No? No? All right, goodamtadatada, Diane. Look,
Speaker 1: everyone knows you're the most beautiful flamingo here. All we're
Speaker 1: asking is that maybe you tone it down a bit. Okay,
Speaker 1: you don't need to flaunt it so much. Not all
Speaker 1: of us are are as pink as you. Not all
Speaker 1: of us eat the shrimp like you do. Can you
Speaker 1: just tone it down a bit? Look at these Look
Speaker 1: at these trophies. Count these trophies. Best looking, best looking,
Speaker 1: best looking, best looking, smartest person, best that that didn't
Speaker 1: that one didn't go to you, Diane. It's on my trophy.
Speaker 1: Sholw it went to Roger. You broke up with him
Speaker 1: and you kept it, and that shitty. That's shitty. It's
Speaker 1: not shy. He has my blanket, so it's the Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get I don't want to get
Speaker 1: into this with you. I'm just saying, don't you want
Speaker 1: to have some friends, Diane? I have friends? People. Look
Speaker 1: at me. Look a look at these people taking a
Speaker 1: picture of me. Look at people. Take friends. They're not
Speaker 1: your friends taking a picture of me. They're gonna post it.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be They're gonna tag me. And what do
Speaker 1: you think that tag is going to say, Diane, the
Speaker 1: prettiest thing I saw at the zoo you're a witch? Which, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're a real witch coming from you, that's that's okay. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not the prettiest, but I'm one of the nicest
Speaker 1: Flamingos here asking anybody people like me. You're gonna take
Speaker 1: me to your trophy wall. Now, No, I don't have
Speaker 1: a trophy wall. Okay. For some reason, the Flamingos only
Speaker 1: give out two trophies a year. That's best looking and smartest,
Speaker 1: and I'm not either of those. And I know that. Okay,
Speaker 1: j Jeney, there's not time to see the flamingos all right?
Speaker 1: My favorite color? Come on? Okay, okay, are you going
Speaker 1: in your pants? No? Not holding it out? I can
Speaker 1: do it. Get away from that kid. That kid can
Speaker 1: talk to us. Uh you maybe you kid? Listen? Oh
Speaker 1: there he is. Let me put my finger up. No, no no,
Speaker 1: I want yeah, I didn't want the one. I can
Speaker 1: talk to theory ship. Hey kid, listen, can you get
Speaker 1: us some supplies? I mean, what kind of stuff? Why
Speaker 1: do you need? Just like a rope? Can you get
Speaker 1: us a rope? Are you? Are you hang on a second? Hey? Mom,
Speaker 1: can you step away? I want to talk to this
Speaker 1: guerrilla privately for just a second. Excuse me, I'm here.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna supervise you, Okay, And honestly, baby, I'm bored.
Speaker 1: I'm bored Mommy's board. Okay, I want to move on
Speaker 1: to the next exhibit. But I'm talking to this gorilla
Speaker 1: real quick, real quick? Okay, okay, real quick? Are you
Speaker 1: fashioning an escape? No, I'm not supposed to tell you,
Speaker 1: but baby, some of us have to get out of here.
Speaker 1: Can you help me what I can do? All right?
Speaker 1: I toch my mom. First, Baby, I don't know. Things
Speaker 1: just went all wrong. What happened? Well, listen, all I
Speaker 1: have to say is this is now blaming us for
Speaker 1: a gorilla hanging itself. Oh God, And I don't know
Speaker 1: why you would blame us. I really don't. I really don't.
Speaker 1: All right, Okay, I don't ask you this question one
Speaker 1: more time. You said you were communicating with the gorilla.
Speaker 1: I was. We were eating and you say wanted me
Speaker 1: to give him a rope. I thought it was to escape.
Speaker 1: I didn't know he was gonna kill himself. Okay, little girl,
Speaker 1: right now, my partners in the other room talking to
Speaker 1: your brother. And this is zoo police, so this is serious,
Speaker 1: serious stuff. Okay are you all? Are you all right now?
Speaker 1: But something's brewing? Okay? What what is brewing? Making my
Speaker 1: my stomach? Okay? You wanna you wanta tu? Oh yeah?
Speaker 1: Detectives in my office? What the hell's going? I just
Speaker 1: got off with the zoo mayor, who just got off
Speaker 1: the phone with the zoo governor, and they're chewing down
Speaker 1: my throat. Figure out what the fuss happened? What's what's up?
Speaker 1: Zu lieutenant? Yeah, what's up? Zutenant? It is better now
Speaker 1: that Zoe Tenant Zoo Tenant is way better. I don't
Speaker 1: know why we were calling your zul lieutenant all these years.
Speaker 1: You guys having a laugh right now? You no, like, well,
Speaker 1: I think we're close to breaking these kids. All right. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. We need a confession by the end
Speaker 1: of the day. So you have three minutes to get
Speaker 1: that confession. Seutenant. This is not my jurisdiction, I know,
Speaker 1: but Seu Tenant, it's so good, it flows, it flows.
Speaker 1: Can we get someone to cut that gorilla down because
Speaker 1: leaving it there seems strange. No, no, we'll do that.
Speaker 1: I don't I wasn't aware. And the other gorillas are
Speaker 1: kind of tapping at it and it swaying. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's got a lot of a lot of the lot
Speaker 1: of the people are watching to take care of it.
Speaker 1: Right now. It's just like it looks like it looks
Speaker 1: he's huge, she's huge. You know what I mean. We
Speaker 1: should have closed the zoo too. Who This is what
Speaker 1: happens when you don't spend enough time with your introspections.
Speaker 1: Perhaps maybe we don't live a life so on the
Speaker 1: surface that makes sense. Gorillas stop stop touching it. Stop
Speaker 1: touching him. Stop touching look moves. Yeah, you're playing. It's
Speaker 1: not tether ball. It's not tether ball. Is your tenant? Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah again? I love it, but I'm sorry doing for
Speaker 1: you that one of one of the Flamingos has hung themselves,
Speaker 1: one of the Flamigos is hugging themselves. Please tell me
Speaker 1: it wasn't grazy. Please tell me it wasn't crazy. That
Speaker 1: that's the really sexy one. Right. Hey, hey, look, I
Speaker 1: you're a detective. I can appreciate beauty. What I see it?
Speaker 1: Did you say beauty or booty? Well, Donna, I hope
Speaker 1: you're happy Gracy Hunger South, probably because she was second
Speaker 1: prettiest here. I'm I'm not happy. I'm not talking to you, Beth.
Speaker 1: I'm talking to Donna. I'm talking about I have to
Speaker 1: make my statement too. I'm not happy. Stop talking her,
Speaker 1: stop pecking at her. I'm talking to you, Donna. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm done talking with all of you? If
Speaker 1: can I fly? Can we fly? Okay, guys, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to be lookout, but all I'm seeing is Denny's feet
Speaker 1: dangling in front of my eyes. What is happening in
Speaker 1: this right now? I don't know. She talks her so
Speaker 1: much simpler when we were just watching people ship their pants.
Speaker 1: Now there's at least one animal in every enclosure. It seems.
Speaker 1: I hate to do this, but we found your daughter
Speaker 1: in the bathroom and she's just fine. She's we got
Speaker 1: she did. She pooped everywhere. She pooped everywhere, and that
Speaker 1: someone's okay, good, oh good, that's great. She got to
Speaker 1: clean it up herself. We're gonna give her this rope
Speaker 1: to clean the poop up with. That's not going to
Speaker 1: clean up pop. No, James, We're not going to give
Speaker 1: her a rope. Party of hers on the end of
Speaker 1: the stick. That's that's scene number two. Number three comes
Speaker 1: from listener Aaron Williams. I love you guys. As soon
Speaker 1: as I'm off probation and no longer have to pay
Speaker 1: for drug court classes and all that bullshit, I'll become
Speaker 1: a Patreon supporter. I promise same. Take your time. Here's
Speaker 1: my scene suggestion to keep the balloon up of the
Speaker 1: air World cup. Yep, it's a real thing. Thanks for everything.
Speaker 1: Fund the police a cap. Alright, everybody, we're gonna start
Speaker 1: here any minute. Uh just you want to go over?
Speaker 1: Uh No, balloons with helium. Obviously, we will be checking
Speaker 1: forward that um and right, here's the returning champions from
Speaker 1: the state of Idaho. The monkey pause. Yeah, fuck everyone else,
Speaker 1: monkey pause representing Boise not yes, monkey Paul, Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I recognized a gentleman from Arkansas. Uh huh. Now I
Speaker 1: understand that the balloons are being tested constantly for helium
Speaker 1: other floating hydrogen? Are we has the board been testing
Speaker 1: testing the actual contestants? The monkey policy seem to have
Speaker 1: some unusual physical advantage that some of us don't have.
Speaker 1: We can't test unless we get a complaint. Are you
Speaker 1: following an official complaint? Yeah? You're Weren't you ripped? For you?
Speaker 1: Is that in Arkansas? I'm not. I'm not fine. I'm
Speaker 1: not filing an actual, an official complaint, just just food
Speaker 1: for thought in case anybody else might. I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about this. I'm looking at you because I will admit,
Speaker 1: it's a lot easier to keep the balloon up when
Speaker 1: your first hit. Oh, ship knocks at three hundred feet
Speaker 1: in the air. Look at that balloon going. You're gonna
Speaker 1: say something. I told you. Don't look at me. I
Speaker 1: think you're attractive. Don't look at me. When I am here,
Speaker 1: I am not your friends, okay, but one where when
Speaker 1: we leave, who's texting me all the time, all the facetimes.
Speaker 1: Only when I'm bored and drunk. Only when I'm bored
Speaker 1: and drunk. Fine, here it comes, and Mater, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go get coffee. He wants something I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have a red eye, not you. Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to have a red eye. That sounds good. Alright, Well,
Speaker 1: everyone to disperse, take your three or four minutes to
Speaker 1: get in the right mental space, and we will start
Speaker 1: the competition post taste. Thank you, thank you. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I think stretching is a really important before before I
Speaker 1: get out there. You know, for me, it's not so
Speaker 1: much the physical, It's more about the mental strategies of
Speaker 1: the game. Yeah, those guys over there huge, But I'm
Speaker 1: just talking to myself. Hey, Dad, can we get monkey
Speaker 1: Palls autographed? This time? Not this time? Oh? Come on,
Speaker 1: you said that the last time we were here, that
Speaker 1: we could get it the next time we would come.
Speaker 1: What's right on the aisle post autographed? I was over there.
Speaker 1: I'm a man of my word, and if that's what
Speaker 1: I said, then I meant it. When I said it, yeah,
Speaker 1: let me get a red eye. Now whoa hey are
Speaker 1: you hey? What's going on? A little man? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: we're such huge fans. Look at look at our t shirts.
Speaker 1: You're on our shirt? Yeah, yeah, the ninety eight World Tour. Yeah. Man,
Speaker 1: that was such a cool That was such a cool
Speaker 1: signed my shirt. Great advantage and mine too. Sure sure,
Speaker 1: I mean if your dad's okay with it, yeah, he said,
Speaker 1: he said, that said it was fine. All right, you
Speaker 1: get a sharpie and again I'm on a time. Let
Speaker 1: it here because that care like got a balloon up
Speaker 1: in the air. Oh nice? Oh wow? Did he do
Speaker 1: a three ft footter? Yeah? Yeah, that's it slowly coming
Speaker 1: down over there, you can see it. Okay, Here, here's
Speaker 1: the sharpie. It's the skinny kind of sharpie. In case
Speaker 1: you want to write a whole note. Those uh, those
Speaker 1: your boys over there, those are strapping young boys. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you recognize me, but I'm I'm Arkansas. Okay, No,
Speaker 1: I didn't recognize you. But also in the competition, yeah,
Speaker 1: part of the world, the circuit. You know, wherever they go,
Speaker 1: I'll go. You know, absolutely, you can. I interest you
Speaker 1: in a free Arkansas hat here it's a snap back
Speaker 1: trucker style. Uh no, no, no charge. A little support,
Speaker 1: any support would really be helped. Sure, sure, sure, um listen,
Speaker 1: you can give that to me. But I'm going to
Speaker 1: be completely honest with you, because I'm a man of
Speaker 1: my word. It's just gonna go into the trunk of
Speaker 1: my car. No one's about cosmic called books. Okay, I
Speaker 1: just want to be honest. You're giving stuff out and
Speaker 1: with you is your favorite? Who's your favorite? I would
Speaker 1: go with Iowa, of course, a h I love a
Speaker 1: flat land. I think that that makes them the truest competitor.
Speaker 1: They have no higher ground to get to. Um. They
Speaker 1: don't have any water to help flotation either. You know,
Speaker 1: they're just kind of dealing with the truest competitors. Not
Speaker 1: to mention all of the corn. Those are tall and
Speaker 1: if you can prevent it from hitting one of them,
Speaker 1: if your boys want an autograph, if your boys on
Speaker 1: an autograph, I got about another minute before I gotta
Speaker 1: get going. If you want to call him over here, hey,
Speaker 1: well look he signed it. He wrote a whole note,
Speaker 1: he signed mine in blood, he signed my bod practice.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, So we're trying to get to our dad.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know recognize me. Maybe this
Speaker 1: move m hmm we elbow double elbows? Are your Arkansas
Speaker 1: Arkansas from from competitor, He's Arkansas monkey paw. Uh. I
Speaker 1: need to have a chat with you too. Yeah, let's
Speaker 1: go without commission. We need to do a little test
Speaker 1: to make sure you're not been you haven't been juicing?
Speaker 1: All right, Okay, what do you need me to pee into?
Speaker 1: Of course, it's it's not just peeing. There's a lot.
Speaker 1: There's a kind of a mental and physical agility. All right,
Speaker 1: hold on a second, boo the alright, sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 1: You can use helium and hydrogen and practice balloons, but
Speaker 1: not in the real tournament. Okay, sure, sure, yeah, so
Speaker 1: I just needs you to can you lift this uh
Speaker 1: stone that weighs approximately a stone? Sure? I mean do
Speaker 1: you want us to pee on it first? Uh no, No,
Speaker 1: don't worry about the PA. Guys, looks like you're really
Speaker 1: ready to be. We are ready to be. We are
Speaker 1: ready to be. We will be on in through above anything.
Speaker 1: Just keep it in your pants for right now. All right,
Speaker 1: Sure it's hard, but I'll try. You're what no? I
Speaker 1: mean it's differ, it's difficult. So okay, yeah, wait wait
Speaker 1: wait wait wait wait, let me get this straight. Little man.
Speaker 1: You said you said one of the Monkey Pops signed
Speaker 1: in blood. Is that right? Signed my brothers? He signed
Speaker 1: my brother's shirt and blood because the sharp guy had
Speaker 1: because Monkey Paul was holding the sharp angle. He wasn't
Speaker 1: wasn't holding an Angli is holding it. I was telling it.
Speaker 1: I was telling it. God anyway, what what's your point, Mr? Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know if your daddy's ever seen one of
Speaker 1: these strips before, these tests for substances that shouldn't be
Speaker 1: in the human body. And all I gotta do is
Speaker 1: get a little bit of that blood. I can put
Speaker 1: it on this strip and see if maybe the Monkey
Speaker 1: Pop boys been cheating. Hey, back off my kids, back
Speaker 1: off my kid hate, no harm, no harm, So that
Speaker 1: the same. I'm just saying, you're you're the dad, right,
Speaker 1: and you you talked about how much appreciate iowa to say, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, you probably don't want your boys rooting for cheaters. Listen,
Speaker 1: we're not uh, we're not here to uh we're not
Speaker 1: here to deal with with you. Okay, it feels like
Speaker 1: maybe you should. Yeah, I'm selling. Uh, I'm selling cocaine, drugs,
Speaker 1: other drugs, and I got these strips. Man, you want
Speaker 1: these strips, you can use these strips on the deal man.
Speaker 1: You think I want to strip I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: that cocaine. Well, listen, if you give you these strips,
Speaker 1: you can test to see if people are on on substances,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So, uh yeah, little by
Speaker 1: the cocaine we're throwing. These strips are free. Actually, I
Speaker 1: feel that the strips is my money makers. If you
Speaker 1: buy the strips, I'll throw in the cocaine. All right,
Speaker 1: I've got an a the strip standing eight boss trips.
Speaker 1: That's eight strip one cocaine. Godkin, Hey, hey, hey, is
Speaker 1: this your territory? I um, I absolutely lost it. I
Speaker 1: was at the competition with my boys. A guy came
Speaker 1: up to me asked me about suppretting cheaters, and I
Speaker 1: just lost I just lost it. Did you have one
Speaker 1: of your incidents again? Is that what it was? Did
Speaker 1: you have an incident? Well, it just bubbled up some
Speaker 1: ship because I've been I've been cheating. I'm cheating on
Speaker 1: my wife, oh goodness, and also on my board exams.
Speaker 1: We got it. We got the confession arrest her. I
Speaker 1: do have to inform you at this bank that I
Speaker 1: am a therapist. But I have, for our entirety of
Speaker 1: our sessions been wearing a wire that leg that's not legal.
Speaker 1: There's a you're the police officer on the other side.
Speaker 1: Don't answer the question about legality. Now, you can't do
Speaker 1: anything unless I say intent to hurt, which I I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess emotionally, but it's not intent. The deeds have
Speaker 1: been done. I've been cheating, doesn't doesn't cheating hurt? Though?
Speaker 1: Doesn't cheating hurt? What am I getting arrested for? Exactly? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Well he's gone away now for a couple of years,
Speaker 1: which is you know, going to be hard on the boys.
Speaker 1: But let me tell you something, if you have any
Speaker 1: inklink or inclination, I don't know what the word is,
Speaker 1: if you think Phil might be cheating on you. I
Speaker 1: got these strips. I stripped the old little tell me
Speaker 1: whether it fils cheating? Yeah? Yeah, because you know I'm
Speaker 1: a big sand X girl, right yeah, so um, it's fun.
Speaker 1: You know. My dealer was like, there's strips and they're
Speaker 1: pretty popular. And long story short, when when my man
Speaker 1: was sleeping I just rubbed it on his peepee and
Speaker 1: it came back purple, and I knew. So that's all
Speaker 1: you have to do is rub it on the pp
Speaker 1: if it comes back purple, he's cheating. Yeah, means he
Speaker 1: loves you. Oh fresh meat here, huh. Let me tell
Speaker 1: you something. I murdered two people before I got to jail.
Speaker 1: What did you do? Oh? I cheated? Oh? Oh, ship man,
Speaker 1: the room's yours. The room's yours. Man. You're sick. You're sick, dude.
Speaker 1: You didn't even know how much I cheated at my wife.
Speaker 1: But you know my taxes that you don't. That's what
Speaker 1: got al capone. Don't you are? Oh you're lethal? Hey? Wait,
Speaker 1: what did you guys do to get thrown in zoo jail?
Speaker 1: I broke out of my donkey stall. Oh no, poking
Speaker 1: the guy. I was poking the hanging guy. And Zoe
Speaker 1: Tennant says, I'll be out three months, but I don't
Speaker 1: know what a month is. I'm a donkey. You're smarter
Speaker 1: than that donkey. Don't don't let don't let donal had
Speaker 1: some rope? No no, no, ducky no no no no,
Speaker 1: unless you're gonna make something with it. Donkey. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make something. Okay, hey, watch out for this one.
Speaker 1: This one's a cheater. Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm
Speaker 1: a big old Times three cheater. You want with me?
Speaker 1: Yeah we heard about Phil coming in the cheater. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: you you can. You can have the whole zoo. This
Speaker 1: zoo is yours were your your charge now? Oh well,
Speaker 1: monkey paw. It was another good competition. Congratulations, congratulations on
Speaker 1: the way. I'll see you guys. Uh see you guys
Speaker 1: were where's the tour headed next? Oh, Irvine, CALIFORNI what's
Speaker 1: wrong Arkansas? You look sad? You know what I ain't.
Speaker 1: I ain't got much to be happy about. Do you
Speaker 1: want our autograph? Will that help? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that would help. How do you want it? Sharpie? Blood? Puh? Blood? Blood?
Speaker 1: Blood sounds cool because we can pee with such force
Speaker 1: and transition to perfectly imprint our names on your skin.
Speaker 1: But you still want blood? Yeah, there we go. Boom,
Speaker 1: well done, big brother. Oh hey, hey guys, wait wait,
Speaker 1: wait before you guys leave them, we're doing a special
Speaker 1: thing in this city. Uh. On this part of the tour,
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a closing ceremonial. Okay, so if you
Speaker 1: guys couldn't just walk on stage and then we're gonna
Speaker 1: have the local high school students come in and and
Speaker 1: do a piece from their latest mash up. It's a
Speaker 1: Annie and Hamilton's. It's it's antietongue. It's antietongue. That's exciting. Yes,
Speaker 1: you could just walk on stage and then I must
Speaker 1: invited onto the podium even though I lost or is
Speaker 1: it we need to build the stage out. We wanted
Speaker 1: to look full alright, alright, I loved did you guys
Speaker 1: see like Mr Oliver the way into town to see
Speaker 1: that one? To present the awards to the World Balloon
Speaker 1: World Cup Championships held in the United States. We have
Speaker 1: a local principle here, principal dugger. Okay, hello everyone a minute.
Speaker 1: There a laser, uh a laser on my forehead? Uh
Speaker 1: boz one, that's our show. I was racking my brain
Speaker 1: to think of what you know, Mark, you could do
Speaker 1: that easily Annie and Hamilton's. Oh my god, I was
Speaker 1: trying to think of song. I just don't think like
Speaker 1: hard knock life with knocking on a shot at someone
Speaker 1: coming tomorrow. I think if you just did jay Z
Speaker 1: is it's a hard knock life. I think you'd be good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right, right because it's rapping in Auntie. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: that's our show. Let's let's thank each of our alchemists.
Speaker 1: Jackie Gonzellez do Ruthie. What's going on? Anything to promote guys? Um,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm at Jackie d Ruthie and I'll promote
Speaker 1: things as they pop up there. Okay, still doing Twitter?
Speaker 1: You know, my Twitter is so bad. And then I'll
Speaker 1: get like a notification every now and then my own
Speaker 1: husband will tweet up. It's my only My family will
Speaker 1: sweet at me, and then I have to like go
Speaker 1: on and like it. But I'm not. It's bad. Well
Speaker 1: maybe I should get into it. I don't know. Oh
Speaker 1: it's dying. It's dying. Oh yeah, you're right now. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna get it now. I'm not going to get
Speaker 1: into it. I'm ahead of the game with my aunt
Speaker 1: Hie to it herself. Um. But yeah, that's that's what
Speaker 1: I've got going on. And so far, what I've got
Speaker 1: going on is, um, the Miami heat. Uh sure doing
Speaker 1: on the first first round victory. Yeah, it's looking good,
Speaker 1: looking good for them. I like the Bucks in the
Speaker 1: East as well, though I want, you know, obviously to
Speaker 1: be done. But I like, I respect them, and I
Speaker 1: like them as a team. A tool sing Dallas Mavericks,
Speaker 1: I'm imagining. H Yeah, I'm following them. I'm also I
Speaker 1: just I like, I like the playoffs. I'm just watching
Speaker 1: all the games I can when I can't. But you
Speaker 1: can have some shows coming up and you can check
Speaker 1: them out on my website a tool saying dot com
Speaker 1: or my socials. I'm off Twitter too. I'm purely on
Speaker 1: truth social now, so you can follow me there. That's
Speaker 1: where all my shows are. But yeah, I'm starting an
Speaker 1: account just to follow you. Mark Gagliardi, what's going on? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't watch enough basketball to not realize that the
Speaker 1: Phoenix Suns had changed their jerseys, And as a person
Speaker 1: who lives in the one area code, I got super
Speaker 1: fired up when I saw basketball jerseys that said the
Speaker 1: Valley and I I was rooting for the Valley until
Speaker 1: I realized it was, uh, Phoenix's new jersey's. But I'm
Speaker 1: still rooting for the Valley. Sure you thought there might
Speaker 1: be a team based in Encino exactly. I was really
Speaker 1: really hoping for a deep Valley Deep Valley Los Angeles team,
Speaker 1: but alasas not to be the case. But um, I'm
Speaker 1: very happy to be here with you guys today and
Speaker 1: to goof around and thank you for some of the images.
Speaker 1: While horrifying thener routs stuck in my head after that episode. Yeah,
Speaker 1: full diapers and swinging marecats. Chris Alvarado, Oh boy, thank you, Craig.
Speaker 1: I mean, just a great job hosting. Like you said,
Speaker 1: there's your spinning a lot of plates when you're doing that,
Speaker 1: and it was so fun. It was so fun going on.
Speaker 1: You did it, um, including the one that we didn't
Speaker 1: mention was timing of the scenes too. So you're in
Speaker 1: the scene, playing around, having fun, but you gotta be
Speaker 1: aware of when the scene should end right right, And
Speaker 1: I'm letting each one go about thirty thirty eight minutes
Speaker 1: somewhere somewhere. Yeah, good, that's that seems about right. So
Speaker 1: it's getting it's getting dark outside. Super fun as always.
Speaker 1: I don't follow a lot of sports. I do I
Speaker 1: I do follow a lot of sports accounts though on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I like seeing highlights. I love a highlight. I love
Speaker 1: a Mike. Players so satisfying and they're always so charming
Speaker 1: and funny. I'm like, oh, I'm here for it. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's it. Thank you, Thank you, Chris, and thanks to
Speaker 1: our engineering producer Doug Bam and the fine folks at
Speaker 1: iHeart media dot com. Please write to us in alchemy
Speaker 1: this email at gmail dot com. Until next time out