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Speaker 1: This is welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm

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Speaker 1: Erica and I'm Mila.

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Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, it's December. Power Moves December.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the end of the year. Bitches and gentlemen

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Speaker 3: and gentlemen. Bitches and gentlemen, Bitches and gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: We're almost there. We've almost made it through twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 1: That's fucking crazy. It flew the fuck.

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Speaker 4: By it really did. It really truly did.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of gave me anxiety. I'm excited, but I'm

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Speaker 1: like a little anxious. But you know, this month has

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Speaker 1: been really i think powerful in general and in the

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Speaker 1: spirit of Power Moves, we have brought you, guys, some

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Speaker 1: powerful people that we are honored to know. And today

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Speaker 1: I'm really really excited because we have a special guest.

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Speaker 2: It's coming visiting us all the way from New York Brooklyn,

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Speaker 2: Baby Kate. We have Louise, co founder of Susia NYC. Yes, yes, hello, folks,

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Speaker 2: thank you for joining us.

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Speaker 5: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: And we'll get into what.

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Speaker 1: Susia is because me and Mila are avid fans of

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Speaker 1: your community there.

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Speaker 4: And we've and this although this is your first time

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Speaker 4: on the show.

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Speaker 3: I have you know that we have spoken about Susia

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Speaker 3: many many times.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we have.

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Speaker 6: Well, I'd like to jump in and say it's also

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Speaker 6: your community as well.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 6: You know, there is no one person that it belongs to,

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Speaker 6: and that's what I think makes it so beautiful.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 1: It really it feels that way too when we go.

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Speaker 1: So can you a maybe give our audience a little

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Speaker 1: just a quick runthrough of what what is Susia.

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Speaker 6: And Susia started as as just a regular party. I

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Speaker 6: used to bart to to the place called Madame X

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Speaker 6: years ago and my homegirl DJ Juicy shout out, we

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Speaker 6: started a party called Susia. I just we thought about

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Speaker 6: the name. I remember hearing the name a lot using

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Speaker 6: a derogatory way towards women who were behaving like men,

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Speaker 6: like dirty girls, dirty girls like Susia. You know what

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Speaker 6: I'm saying, like like just just doing doing things that

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Speaker 6: niggas do you know what I'm saying. It's like what

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Speaker 6: that's She's a bad person now. And we did that

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Speaker 6: party for a while and it kind of died down,

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Speaker 6: and when my fiance and I were introduced to a

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Speaker 6: more sex positive life, we decided to start up again,

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Speaker 6: and I thought that was a very appropriate name. Uh,

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Speaker 6: you know, just Susia encompassed for me like dope feminine energy.

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Speaker 6: And I don't want to be a part of anything

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Speaker 6: that doesn't have dope energy, especially dope feminine energy. I

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Speaker 6: think that's key, in particular dope black woman energy. That's

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Speaker 6: kind of what it's about. And brown and indigenous, but

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Speaker 6: you know, it's black as fuck.

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Speaker 5: That's how we try to keep.

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Speaker 4: It in shorter terms.

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Speaker 3: Louis's community, Susia is a pleasure party slash sex party, correct, it.

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Speaker 6: Is that it's a lot more than that. So Susia

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Speaker 6: NYC as the umbrella. We incorporate Susia Dance, which is

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Speaker 6: a dance party. We also have Susia Play, and we're

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Speaker 6: working on Susia Health, which is basically going to address

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Speaker 6: a lot of the issues that have been coming up.

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Speaker 6: When you have a sex positive space like ours, when

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Speaker 6: you create a safe space, people feel comfortable and within

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Speaker 6: that comfort, they're comfortable to show their traumas you know,

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Speaker 6: and you had to respect it. So Susia Dance straight

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Speaker 6: dancing like we're having fun, We're you know, we're chilling.

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Speaker 6: Susie I Play all right, is it's it's it's a

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Speaker 6: sex party. It's it's a it's a sensual event. There

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Speaker 6: is no there is no uh pressure to participate. We

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Speaker 6: don't do mandatory dress downs. We want people to feel safe,

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Speaker 6: We want people to feel seen, to be heard, in

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Speaker 6: particular black women. That's where it's at. I've seen a

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Speaker 6: lot of really beautiful breakthroughs with people, you know, and

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Speaker 6: it lets me know that I'm part of something that

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Speaker 6: is positive. Uh, you know, after thinking about it for

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Speaker 6: a lot in my head, like what is it that

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Speaker 6: we're doing and and what's the intent behind it? You know,

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Speaker 6: it's dawning on me that, you know, and talking to

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Speaker 6: a lot of young people as well too, through quarantine

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Speaker 6: and all that, that the intent behind us is a

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Speaker 6: deconstruction of our sexuality, a decolonization of our sexuality. Growing

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Speaker 6: up Latino and black and Brooklyn, I was surrounded by that.

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Speaker 5: Even as a man. There's shame.

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Speaker 6: You know, you're hiding shit, you know what I'm saying

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Speaker 6: about your sensuality, your sexuality. You know, when you could

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Speaker 6: just be ethically non monogamous, you know, we're choosing to

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Speaker 6: be out there fucking hoing and doing dumb shit, you know,

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Speaker 6: and putting people in danger, you know, physical danger and

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Speaker 6: spiritual danger and breaking hearts and shit, and a lot

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Speaker 6: of this could be eliminated. I think once we start

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Speaker 6: having those conversations, and they're hard to have, you know,

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Speaker 6: but once you get through those conversations, it's it's a

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Speaker 6: beautiful breakthrough. And it may be for some people and

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Speaker 6: may not be for others. Not everybody in our party plays,

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Speaker 6: you know, there are a lot of people that just

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Speaker 6: like being around the energy and dancing and and just like, wow,

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Speaker 6: I'm free, Like I'm here, I could be in any

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Speaker 6: stage of nudity and I don't have any creep behind me.

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Speaker 6: You know, I don't feel like I'm being judged. I'm

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Speaker 6: just going with the flow and and and that's that's

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Speaker 6: what Susia play for.

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Speaker 5: Me is is.

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Speaker 3: Speaking of that, like the community and what it like

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Speaker 3: embodies how what was your journey into this space because

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Speaker 3: you've come from from Brooklyn, because you didn't necessarily grow

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Speaker 3: up in an environment that was like welcoming of you know, centraality,

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Speaker 3: like a lot of black and brown people haven't. What

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Speaker 3: was your journey in like creating this this community.

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Speaker 6: Well, it was created with with my fiance Simona Uh

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Speaker 6: and our primary couple.

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Speaker 5: Shout out to Pam and X House of Packs.

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Speaker 4: And your primary couple.

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Speaker 3: When you say that, it's like the who you guys

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Speaker 3: play with most most those are homies.

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Speaker 5: Those are dogs.

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Speaker 6: I love them, you know, like we've like when we

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Speaker 6: met them, it all made sense. We're we were going

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Speaker 6: to parties that were white.

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Speaker 4: As fuck they introduced you to It's.

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Speaker 6: Like they through them, we met a lot more people

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Speaker 6: black and brown people that were in the lifestyle, and

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Speaker 6: it was such a contrast form being in spaces that

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Speaker 6: were like aggressively white.

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Speaker 2: That was my question.

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Speaker 1: I was wondering if you had I'm assuming you had

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Speaker 1: partaken another experiences in other places where maybe you felt

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe like even marginalized or just alone.

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Speaker 2: In those spaces fetishized. Yeah, I am.

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Speaker 1: It's so funny because on the a few days ago,

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Speaker 1: my partner was like, have you seen have you heard

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Speaker 1: of the sex party called Sanctum And I'd never heard

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Speaker 1: of it, And then they had this documentary or something

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Speaker 1: on HBO and it's.

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Speaker 2: It's very First of all, it's very white.

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Speaker 3: A I like the word aggressively White's white.

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Speaker 1: And also this man is like that he's basically charging

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Speaker 1: people like one hundred to two hundred thousand dollars a

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Speaker 1: year to the membership to have this membership, and I

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Speaker 1: likes it felt very he was creating safe spaces, but

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Speaker 1: it was very much for the male gaze.

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Speaker 6: So it's not a safe space, right, it's creating he's monetizing.

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Speaker 1: The reason I said safe space is because the women

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Speaker 1: are openly participating, like they want to be there, they're

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Speaker 1: excited to be there.

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Speaker 2: But it's truly couples.

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Speaker 1: Come to play, but it really is about like them

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Speaker 1: feeding the male like sexual appetite.

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Speaker 4: They said that, but.

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Speaker 2: They didn't say that. That's what I gathered.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but then again, then that's not a safe space

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Speaker 6: because when you're in a real safe space, it's not

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Speaker 6: catering to any one individual. In my opinion, it's actually

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Speaker 6: the forward energy should be feminine, no, like that should.

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Speaker 5: Be it because.

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Speaker 6: You know, I tell people, like in the consent speech

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Speaker 6: that your body is not there for my pleasure and

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Speaker 6: vice versa. You know, so when you're in a space

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Speaker 6: where you see equality, where you see proper representation, when

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Speaker 6: you see people that are there not just to get

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Speaker 6: their rocks off. You kind of you kind of really

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Speaker 6: feel what safety is. You feel what it is, like, Yeah,

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Speaker 6: I know whyry here? You know, we try to fuck,

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Speaker 6: but we don't have to. You know, we could just talk,

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Speaker 6: we could connect. You know, communication is what ninety three

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Speaker 6: percent physical? You know, cues, you know, vocalization is everything else.

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Speaker 6: So spaces like that, I don't fuck with I don't.

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Speaker 6: I'll walk in and walk right out. I don't understand

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Speaker 6: how you could have a room full of eighty people

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Speaker 6: and there's like two niggas in there. No, no, no,

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Speaker 6: look like they called the particular fucking BBC stereotype to

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Speaker 6: come in, and they call you know, the Amazonian woman

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Speaker 6: to come in, and then boom, there you go. And

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Speaker 6: then they're looked at and you know what if that's

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Speaker 6: what they're into, the brothers and sisters that, yeah, that's cool.

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Speaker 5: I'm not going to yuck. You're young.

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Speaker 6: But someone once told me, like, why are you in

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Speaker 6: certain race into sex? And I'm like, how could you not?

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Speaker 6: How could you not? Like what fucking plaanet do you

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Speaker 6: live on? Where where we've you been the last three years?

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Speaker 5: You know?

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Speaker 6: So like, no, I can't be a part of a

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Speaker 6: space that doesn't reflect my people, where I don't see

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Speaker 6: my people in there, you know.

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Speaker 5: And you know, SUSI a NYC. We're dedicated creating.

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Speaker 6: Safe space for black, brown and Indigenous women and black,

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Speaker 6: brown and Indigenous lgbt q I, t g n C

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Speaker 6: populations with a focus on women. You know, we're not

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Speaker 6: saying white people can't be there, but if if you're

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Speaker 6: a white person you feel like you're not invited, don't come.

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Speaker 6: You know, like, if you're good, you're good, Like we're not.

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Speaker 6: We're not here to to make you feel comfortable. You

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Speaker 6: already feel comfortable. You're good, you know.

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Speaker 1: And so entering into those other spaces was that somewhat

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Speaker 1: the inspiration and maybe meeting.

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Speaker 6: Oh one hundred percent, one hundred percent, you know, my

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Speaker 6: fiance and I had a same oner and I had

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Speaker 6: a conversation and you know, we're just trying to meet people,

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Speaker 6: and we're like this, this shit is kind of weird,

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Speaker 6: you know, And in my head, I'm like, damn, ain't no,

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Speaker 6: ain't no Black or Spanish people in this life.

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Speaker 5: This is wild.

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Speaker 6: And then we found some some pretty cool black and

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Speaker 6: Spanish parties and they were very male driven. You know,

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Speaker 6: the mandatory dress down. That's not consensual.

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Speaker 2: So mandatory dress down means like you have.

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Speaker 6: To at twelve o'clock you have to get naked, naked

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Speaker 6: or down to lingerie. And we went to one party

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Speaker 6: where this guy kept telling us, you know, you guys

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Speaker 6: gotta dressed down, you gotta undress.

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Speaker 5: And I'm like, nah, I'm not I don't want to.

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Speaker 5: I don't feel like it, you know.

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Speaker 6: And then one of the women came up and and

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Speaker 6: this is why I learned. I'm like, I'm looking at

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Speaker 6: the sister and she's repeating the same thing the host was,

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Speaker 6: and I'm like, like, how can you, as a woman,

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Speaker 6: put another woman in a position like that? You know

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Speaker 6: what I'm saying, not that my my fiance is not

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Speaker 6: shy by any means. She just ain't gonna be told

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Speaker 6: what to do. You know what I'm saying, She's a

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Speaker 6: powerful woman. It's like nah, you know. So that that

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Speaker 6: that for me, was was a turning point. You know,

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Speaker 6: there are a lot of parties out there that that

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Speaker 6: are not safe, that are not community based. There are

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Speaker 6: a lot of parties out there that allow consent violators

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Speaker 6: in there. You know, there are a lot of dudes that

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Speaker 6: like that's my boy, you know, he didn't do that,

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Speaker 6: And it's like, look like what what what? What do

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Speaker 6: you need to know? Like why like I got homies

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Speaker 6: on Minor, I'm not going to invite to my party,

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Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: Like, and it's cool.

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Speaker 6: I still love him, you know, but even then, you know,

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Speaker 6: like with everything has happened the last few years, I

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Speaker 6: applied to to to to Susi and YC. It's kind

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Speaker 6: of like, if we're not gonna have any I'm not

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Speaker 6: going to hold space or or allow people to express

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Speaker 6: their racisms, which you shouldn't. Why are we allowing men

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Speaker 6: to express their misogyny? You know, like why are we

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Speaker 6: allowing that? Like why am I pro black but sexist?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 6: Why am I pro black but transphobic or homophobic?

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Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying? Why am I pro black?

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Speaker 6: But I'm trying to shame the system to doing something

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Speaker 6: she doesn't want to do, you know whoever?

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Speaker 5: It is?

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Speaker 1: So yeah, how because I know that we have a weave,

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Speaker 1: because we've shared Susia before. We get a lot of

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Speaker 1: messages from people like where do we find you know,

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Speaker 1: a play party? Like how can we find a play party,

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Speaker 1: what is a what is the difference between a play

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Speaker 1: party and a sex party? Or what is the process

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Speaker 1: of getting admittance into a play party? So I'm curious

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Speaker 1: if you could please share, Like, what is the process

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Speaker 1: of someone being able to attend one of your parties?

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Speaker 5: The process first, Susia NYC.

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Speaker 6: If you go with Susiat NYC on Instagram, there is

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Speaker 6: a vetting link. Follow the link. We ask five questions.

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Speaker 6: We don't choose people just they change. They change. One

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Speaker 6: of them is what's the last book you read. I'm like,

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Speaker 6: let me know, you can hold a conversation, you know

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Speaker 6: what I'm saying, bruh. But you know what, at the

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Speaker 6: same time, you know, we we we It's not like

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Speaker 6: it's not like we're looking for the most intellectual, most

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Speaker 6: beautiful people.

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Speaker 5: We're looking for cool people who know.

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Speaker 6: How to behave who know how to hold space for

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Speaker 6: each other. And that's super important. We don't overpopulate our parties.

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Speaker 5: We don't.

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Speaker 6: You know, we're not We're not here to fucking make

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Speaker 6: a dollar like that. I mean, yeah, we want to

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Speaker 6: be compensated, but that's not the that's not the drive

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Speaker 6: behind it. That's what separates us from other houses is

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Speaker 6: that we started as a community and then we turned

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Speaker 6: into a house, you know, so they could go on

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Speaker 6: on I g get vetted. Answer the questions. I will say.

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Speaker 6: We had this one white lady say she's there for

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Speaker 6: the BBC.

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Speaker 1: She was not.

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Speaker 5: That was immediately Oh yeah, yeah she's bold. But that's

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Speaker 5: the ship, nat, how you thought you was gonna get in.

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Speaker 6: Because they are used to fetishizing us and we are

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Speaker 6: used to allowing that shit to happen, you know what

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Speaker 6: I'm saying, especially fellas, And it's like like, yo, man,

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Speaker 6: be about your ship. Respect yourself a lot more than that.

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Speaker 6: But if that's what you're into, that's what you're into. Again,

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Speaker 6: I'm not gonna yuck anyone's yums, you know. Yeah, get vetted.

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Speaker 6: We have a game night. It's a platonic game night.

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Speaker 5: We come through. We feature speakers.

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Speaker 6: We have had We were really honored to have a

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Speaker 6: Cinnamon Love hold a, a game night workshop that centered

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Speaker 6: around sex positive parenting. We have another really really really

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Speaker 6: dope sister of Vita Sawyer's La Vida Loca dop thirty

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Speaker 6: four on Idea. She she's amazing. She's an amazing black

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Speaker 6: queer polyamorous woman who just answers questions about polyamory like

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Speaker 6: she's up there talking about it. We've also had another woman,

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Speaker 6: uh Coco l highly sensitive black woman on ig highly

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Speaker 6: sensitive black woman. She's super dope. She's held workshops on

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Speaker 6: like oral classes, you know. So we try to keep

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Speaker 6: it fun, we try to keep it informative. We've had

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Speaker 6: comede you know, comedians come to our game nights and

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Speaker 6: hold a show and then afterwards all the conversations are

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Speaker 6: pertinent to sex positivity. What does it mean to you?

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Speaker 6: It's it's a large umbrella. Sex positive could be anything

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Speaker 6: from like, hey, I'm comfortable around people to like, hey

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Speaker 6: I'm real comfortable around people, you know, and doing the work.

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Speaker 6: It's a constant, it's a constant thing. I've learned so

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Speaker 6: much about myself, about the way I interact with people

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Speaker 6: being in this lifestyle, learning about enthusiastic consent and how

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Speaker 6: to apply it in everyday life, you know, understanding that

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Speaker 6: willingness is not a yes, you know, and looking back

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Speaker 6: at my regular life and seeing how many times people

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Speaker 6: have been willing to do things you know, and why

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Speaker 6: you know, and why was I down to let them go?

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Speaker 6: Through it, you know. So you know, it's growth and

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Speaker 6: we're lucky to have a lot of really cool brothers

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Speaker 6: in the community. You know, there's some people that we

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Speaker 6: have to let go, and that's fine. They may not

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Speaker 6: be safe for the community or we're not safe for them,

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Speaker 6: you know, because like I said before, being in an

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Speaker 6: environment like that could be very triggering, you know, which

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Speaker 6: why enthusiastic consent is like key when you're in someone's space,

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Speaker 6: as if you sit next to them, you know, do

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Speaker 6: they want to be spoken to? Maybe they just want

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Speaker 6: to sit there and watch. Maybe they just want to

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Speaker 6: sit there. Why go in fuck and come right back

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Speaker 6: out and go back into their shell.

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Speaker 5: That's fine, let them work it out.

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Speaker 6: You know, it's our responsibility, SUSI and YC to offer

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Speaker 6: support after you know, if we're gonna take your money

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Speaker 6: and you're coming here, like we're going to offer you

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Speaker 6: some like okay, cool, here's some links you go to

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Speaker 6: talk about what you're feeling, you know, And I think

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Speaker 6: that's important.

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Speaker 1: I think it's super important. I'll just speak from my

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Speaker 1: own experience. You know, I had never been to a

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Speaker 1: sex party play party ever. Susia was my first and

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm so grateful that it was because it

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Speaker 1: really set a very high standard for me because I

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Speaker 1: have been to other spaces since then and been like

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Speaker 1: this feels weird. No, yeah, And so I remember one

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Speaker 1: of our one of our close friends invited us to

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Speaker 1: Susia and we came and you're the place, You're the

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Speaker 1: place where you hold it is a It's so beautiful,

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Speaker 1: it's so welcoming.

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Speaker 2: The moment you walk in, it feels like family.

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Speaker 1: And what struck me the most and what I took

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Speaker 1: from Susia that first time was the consent speech and

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Speaker 1: the use of the word enthusiastic consent, because I'd never

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Speaker 1: really heard it talked about in that way. And I

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Speaker 1: think that especially as women like we have a really

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Speaker 1: hard time, especially I would say, probably in a space

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Speaker 1: like that, because it's kind of implied that you know

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Speaker 1: what the fuck you're walking into. And you know, if

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Speaker 1: I if I spend you know, fifteen minutes talking to

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Speaker 1: you at the bar and we're flirting a little bit,

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Speaker 1: then you know it's probably going to go down. And

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Speaker 1: I think that, you know, when I heard that speech

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Speaker 1: and you were talking about enthusiastic consent and making sure

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Speaker 1: that she's excited to partake with you, and then even

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Speaker 1: after the aftercare and what should happen afterwards, Like don't

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Speaker 1: just like fuck and then walk away and be like

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Speaker 1: peace beach care.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, it's important. It's important.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: That that first time we came and you gave the

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Speaker 3: consent speech, there were some things that like really stuck

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Speaker 3: out to me and it was like my first time

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Speaker 3: hearing a man say certain shit, And it was like, listen, Fellas,

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Speaker 3: just because she's here or she's being nice to you

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Speaker 3: read the room, doesn't mean she necessarily wants to like

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Speaker 3: participate with you. And I was like, damn, I'm happy

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Speaker 3: he gets it, you know what I'm saying, Like a

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Speaker 3: lot of times women are like conditioned to be people

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Speaker 3: pleasers and to be nice, and like you said this,

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Speaker 3: so many times I've been in situations where like, well

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Speaker 3: we've flirted, or he bought me a drink, we went

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Speaker 3: to dinner, and now I'm like obligated to do this

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Speaker 3: or that. But being in your environment hearing this speech

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Speaker 3: and like, first of all, like you really can't even

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Speaker 3: come out, You can't come in after the speech has

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Speaker 3: been told unless you've been there before and you've been vetted.

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Speaker 3: But like your speech, I was like almost brought tears

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Speaker 3: to my eyes. I'm like, where am I at the

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Speaker 3: sex party? But you know, right right, But he was

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00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,439
Speaker 3: just like, you know, if someone's falling, if someone has

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Speaker 3: fallen asleep, man or woman, they're not to be touched.

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Speaker 3: That's not an invitation to touch anyone. If you if

390
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Speaker 3: you if you play with somebody, and then you know,

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Speaker 3: it's not like check in with them, make sure they're

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Speaker 3: good before you go to the next person. Enthusiastic guesses

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Speaker 3: and like there were all these things that I had

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Speaker 3: never heard a man say. And then like open it

395
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Speaker 3: up for the party, like these are the rules. I

396
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Speaker 3: was like, wow, this is this is pretty amazing, in

397
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 3: addition to the fact it's a beautiful space, in addition

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Speaker 3: to the fact that it's mostly brown and black people.

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Speaker 3: And I've been to sex parties before and it's not

400
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 3: the vibe, and it feels I've been to sex parties

401
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 3: and it feels predatory, and it feels like everybody's watching you,

402
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Speaker 3: and you know, like maybe there's only one of the

403
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 3: two attractive people in the room, and you're like everybody's

404
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 3: fucking watching me, and like, but I almost expected that

405
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,640
Speaker 3: that is the like, that's the expectation of those type

406
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Speaker 3: of parties until I came to Susia and I was like,

407
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Speaker 3: oh my god, I feel like I'm at home, you know,

408
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,360
Speaker 3: hugs and embracing and like even for me right now,

409
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: I'm in tantra school, and I didn't realize how like,

410
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Speaker 3: I didn't realize how deep like understanding your pleasure was

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Speaker 3: into how you function in your everyday life, especially for women,

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Speaker 3: and I think so often we're told this is how

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Speaker 3: you're supposed to act, this is how you're supposed to perform.

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Speaker 3: Is that it's very rare for us to really check

415
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Speaker 3: in and really identify what brings us pleasure and what

416
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 3: we really want to do and so much so it's like, damn,

417
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Speaker 3: can't like is this pleasurable to me? Or have I've

418
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Speaker 3: been totally telling myself this is pleasurable or I feel

419
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Speaker 3: obligated and so like being in space is like Soussia,

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Speaker 3: where I've like there's been times I've participated and there's

421
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 3: been times I haven't, you know, but either way, I

422
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,880
Speaker 3: feel completely safe and I feel like, you know, I'm

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Speaker 3: a topless ass bitch if I want to take my

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Speaker 3: shirt off. I'm not feeling like anyone's going to invitation

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00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 3: and invitation to touch me or it means something, or

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Speaker 3: it means I need your attention or anything like that.

427
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 3: It's just like really truly a space to like come

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Speaker 3: as you are to me. It's like the truest form

429
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Speaker 3: of church. You know, they tell you that church like

430
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 3: come as you are, but they be lying, you know,

431
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 3: They're like, no, but if you but like, if you

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Speaker 3: come to this community, you get the chance to experience this.

433
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 3: You really get to feel the safety of just showing

434
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 3: up as yourself. There's no application to like to be

435
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 3: sexual or to be sexy, or to do this or

436
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 3: to do that. But it's really just like, hey, I

437
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 3: can depug this person that I've never met for five minutes.

438
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 3: You know, I've never felt as comfortable in certain spaces

439
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,919
Speaker 3: as I have in certain sex parties where it's like

440
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 3: you you would like me to give you head, and

441
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, I think I'm just dancing tonight, okay,

442
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 3: like a little dance, you know, And it's just like

443
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,479
Speaker 3: that's nice, Like thank you for asking.

444
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,239
Speaker 6: One thing that I learned and even for men too,

445
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 6: is learning how to say no before anything, like owning

446
00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 6: your nose. I think as a man. If I'm approached

447
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 6: by a woman and I'm not in the headspace and

448
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 6: I identify as a demisexual, I like connections, you know, sayings.

449
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 6: As I've gotten older, it's like, you know, I could

450
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 6: not fuck I'm good, you know what I'm saying.

451
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm good.

452
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 6: Telling a young lady no, you know, and then me

453
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 6: projecting how she may feel about it, and then like that,

454
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 6: I you know, most okay, cool.

455
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 5: You know, a Vida who I mentioned.

456
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 6: Earlier, put me onto this and she was like, if

457
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 6: someone says no, your response could be something like, thank

458
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 6: you for taking care of yourself, thank you for taking

459
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 6: the time out to know your body, to know where

460
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 6: you're at, and to draw that boundary.

461
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 5: I respect that, and then keep it moving.

462
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 1: I think it's important, Like even just knowing that that

463
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 1: like knowing that language. Some people don't even know what

464
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 1: the next step is to know, like what to say

465
00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: to that. It's it becomes awkward or angry or or you're.

466
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 3: In your head about how they're going to react to it,

467
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 3: so like fuck it, I'm just going to do it.

468
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 4: Like I don't want to make them feel.

469
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: Back, almost having a toolbox prepared of like things to

470
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: say in reaction to you know, the no's or the

471
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 1: y s's, or the maybies or come back around.

472
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll you know, feel differently and in a few

473
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 2: I don't.

474
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 6: Think for me personally, it's not my responsibility how someone

475
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 6: else takes it if I say it, if you're coming

476
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 6: from a place of compassion and love, however they receive

477
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 6: it is how they receive it.

478
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 1: Yes, But but doesn't it also feel good when when

479
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 1: it's received and the response is that, you know.

480
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 6: Like like like I thought that was I thought that

481
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 6: was when when when she said that's something you could

482
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 6: say to people, and there was at one of our workshops,

483
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 6: I was like, yo, that that is, like.

484
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 5: That is the.

485
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 6: Most beautiful like no, you know other than just someone saying,

486
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 6: you know, I'm good, you know, I'm I'm I think

487
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 6: I've had to work on really not worrying about how

488
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 6: the person takes it because my happiness comes first.

489
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,639
Speaker 4: Well, that's not always easy for people to do.

490
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 3: No, it's not that we're almost trained into being people pleasers,

491
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 3: like I know, I'm like that, I've done things I'm

492
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 3: like she looks sad.

493
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 4: Just come over here.

494
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like, no, no, you don't need to

495
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 3: do that.

496
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 5: Oh yeah.

497
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 6: I find myself in situations and man, it's funny because

498
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 6: if we're not into it, our body won't work, you

499
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 6: know what I'm saying. If we're not taking dick fills

500
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 6: and ship, our body won't work. Then it because it's

501
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 6: more awkward, you know what I'm saying.

502
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 5: And there's like even more life. You know, I don't.

503
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 6: Know, like gummy worm out this bitch, you know what.

504
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 6: So so like, So learn how to say no. I

505
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 6: think that's really important. It's practice it, you know, practice

506
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,439
Speaker 6: it in regular life. You know what I'm saying, something

507
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 6: yes to ship, Like I say notice I say yes to.

508
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 6: I used to say yes the things I knew I

509
00:26:55,200 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 6: wouldn't do. So this is one of the things I

510
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 6: feel that being in this lifestyle helped me bring over

511
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 6: to my daily life.

512
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 5: It's like owning my nose, owning my yeses. You know.

513
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 6: Being aware of the drugs you take when you're in

514
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 6: a party like that, how much you drink that is

515
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 6: that is key. You know, you don't want to wake

516
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,000
Speaker 6: up regretting something you don't want someone else to wake

517
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 6: up regretting something.

518
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: Right.

519
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 6: You know, as much as it is about you having fun,

520
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 6: you want to facilitate a good time. Doesn't have to

521
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 6: be a physical good time, but it's a good experience

522
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 6: for someone else, you know, which we mentioned earlier.

523
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 5: After care. After care is super important. After sac how

524
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 5: they're doing.

525
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 6: You're okay, you want some water, you know, Can I

526
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 6: give you a little foot massage or something?

527
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 5: Just something?

528
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying that thank you for allowing

529
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 6: me to enter your body, you know what I'm saying,

530
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 6: enter your space. Like that's like you know, and I've

531
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 6: been to parties where it's it's it's scary, but again,

532
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 6: there are people who are into that. They're definitely there's there's.

533
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 5: I want to get. People can get.

534
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 4: Mad at me, like transactional.

535
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 6: They're they're the parties where it's just a bunch of

536
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,239
Speaker 6: niggas and fat white chicks and that's what it is, Like,

537
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 6: that's what it is, and that's cool.

538
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 2: And that's what they and that's what those if that's.

539
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 5: If that's what they're they want, that's what they want.

540
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: I think that even in your space, like say they

541
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 1: say you do have a kink, of like, hey, don't

542
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: talk to me afterwards like I want to.

543
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 5: That's negotiated pride.

544
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying, like disrespect me, but like

545
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: I want you to disrespect me.

546
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 2: I'm telling you now before you disrespect.

547
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 1: Me, so that we're both consensual in this disrespect.

548
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 6: But in that exchange, the person allowing that is actually

549
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 6: the person in power, because you're allowing that to happen,

550
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 6: and the person that's to respect that. You know, people

551
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 6: don't talk about sex a lot, even in relationships, you

552
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 6: know what I'm saying. People don't like to to know

553
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 6: certain things or they just assume, you know, like in

554
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 6: a play situation, you talk to like, hey, what do

555
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 6: you like since we're about to play? What do you

556
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 6: like doing? How do you want me to kiss you?

557
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 6: How do you want me to taste you? All these things?

558
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 6: You know how far you allowed me to go? You know,

559
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 6: so these things are really important pacing yourself. You know,

560
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 6: it's it's not it's not a free for all, Like

561
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 6: just come in, chill, have.

562
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 5: A good time. Man. We got DJs, We got fucking you.

563
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 2: Do you have DJs? The music is good and it's good.

564
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 6: And shout out to to to Geck Gecko Jones is

565
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 6: providing the soundtrack for Sussia Dance and Susie I Play.

566
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 3: And the ambiance is sweet. It's just dimly lit sexy.

567
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: The last time I went, or I actually know it well,

568
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: you have been a few times, but we went this

569
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 1: last time.

570
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: But then I went before her. I came with my partner.

571
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: It was just us there and.

572
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: You're having scenes, and you have these scenes essentially where

573
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: people are kind of doings educational or you can kind of.

574
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: Try try on things, try things on.

575
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: And for me, like, I've always been interested in bondage

576
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: and kind of the idea of like pleasure and pain,

577
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: and I've never had a partner that really a felt

578
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 1: comfortable enough to explore that with me or b was

579
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 1: interested in it.

580
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 2: And so when I came to your party, there was

581
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 2: I can't remember her name, oh man, what's her name? Okay,

582
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 2: Well she was doing she was doing.

583
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 6: If if you could put it on the type thing later

584
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 6: like just stowed up. I want to give this sister props.

585
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 6: She's dope.

586
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 2: She is dope. She was she was really dope.

587
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: And she was like do you do you want to

588
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: try this? And I was like yeah, and I asked

589
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: my partner. I was like, are you okay with this?

590
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, well I want to.

591
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 2: Let's do it. And so she asked me to lay

592
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 2: over him.

593
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 6: Remember yeah, oh yeah yeah, And we're like, oh, look

594
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 6: at that.

595
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: She has to lay over him, and she was flogging

596
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: me and just making sure to like check in on

597
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: me and especially for me, like it's like I have

598
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 1: this thing with pain. There's certain pain that I like

599
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 1: and other pains that I don't. Spanking it's one of

600
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: those things where I'm like, do I like this?

601
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 2: I don't know.

602
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: But the way she did it, because she's so well

603
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 1: versed in her space, I felt so much pleasure and

604
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 1: the fact that I got to lay on top of

605
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: my partner and experience this and then what's that thing called.

606
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 2: Orlando's that like the wormberg will.

607
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 1: So she started to using that thing on me and

608
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. So and then my

609
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 1: partner seeing this, like it inspired him in our relationship

610
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: to then when he saw how much pleasure I was

611
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 1: receiving from this, it inspired him and in our relationship

612
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: to explore these things even further. And so I think

613
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: the space can be such a beautiful place for couples

614
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: wanting to experience new sensations, new kinks. It's there's people

615
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 1: there that are educated and can really show you how

616
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: it's done. And that's what I also love is is

617
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 1: the education piece that that you provide in these spaces.

618
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,959
Speaker 1: I think the first time we came there was like

619
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: rope there was someone doing rope play and teaching you

620
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 1: how to like tie up people properly.

621
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:20,479
Speaker 2: Actually she tied me up to But I love that

622
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 2: and you know, being able to do.

623
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: That with someone that I love. And even though like

624
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 1: not even though with people in the room it felt

625
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: super it still felt so intimate and I didn't feel

626
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: like I was being watched or like everyone now.

627
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 2: Everyone crowd around, and that's happening over here.

628
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 5: There's certain parties I've gone tour it's like yo.

629
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 4: At least.

630
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 5: Over people and people.

631
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: Do come because they're voyeurs, right, They come to these

632
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: parties because maybe they don't want to partake, but they

633
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: do want to watch, and.

634
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: That's fine, But like, no, feel the vibe. The vibe.

635
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 6: We ask people, if you're gonna watch, don't talk.

636
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 5: It's okay.

637
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 6: There's there's a way to look, there's a way to

638
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 6: appreciate something without intruding into someone's space or making them

639
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 6: feel uncomfortable, or completely making them making them feel like

640
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 6: some inanimate objects. Yeah, it's like, no, these are humans.

641
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 6: We also ask people. Another thing that's really important when

642
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 6: you're in the scene is for people to negotiate if

643
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 6: they could join the scene prior to that.

644
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 4: Don't interrupt because then it feels awkward.

645
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, because then it's really hard, because then the no

646
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 6: is going to be like non no, Like then you

647
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 6: didn't get the hard no, you know, and and and

648
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 6: then you're the you're the awkward, weird one.

649
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying, Like you don't want to

650
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 5: be that. I think it's a great place for couples.

651
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 6: I've learned a lot about interacting with with with Simona

652
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 6: via the lifestyle. I've learned a lot about her body.

653
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 6: I learned to put myself first as well, because for

654
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 6: a long time as a dude, I think I put

655
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 6: her pleasure before mine because I didn't know how to

656
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 6: tap into mind. And so I think people do that.

657
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 6: You know, I have kids too. You take care of

658
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,240
Speaker 6: your kids, you do everything before you take care of yourself,

659
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 6: and next thing you know, you're like you're not focusing

660
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 6: because you don't know how to.

661
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 4: I agree.

662
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 3: I think I think people underestimate the power of knowing

663
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 3: your pleasure. And I'm reading a book right now for

664
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 3: school and shout out to Debbie. She's also been a

665
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 3: guest on our show. That's a good episode if you

666
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 3: guys haven't watched it, But there's a part of chapter

667
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 3: and it's about like a lot of times people rely

668
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 3: on their partners to bring them pleasure without even knowing

669
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 3: what is pleasurable to them first. And in the book,

670
00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 3: they're just like, what a what are like huge responsibility

671
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 3: you're putting on your partner and you haven't even explored

672
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 3: that yet. And when I read that, I was like, damn,

673
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 3: Like you're putting pressure on someone outside of yourself to

674
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 3: provide power, like to provide pleasure for you. And I

675
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 3: had to like really like sit in that for a minute,

676
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,879
Speaker 3: because obviously I've been very sexually active in the last

677
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 3: thirty four years of my life, probably the last sixteen

678
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,919
Speaker 3: ish more. But how much have I really like paid

679
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:29,240
Speaker 3: attention to how I experienced pleasure is not that much.

680
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 3: So it's a crazy like understanding to be like, oh,

681
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 3: I've had lots of sex. Some of it's been good,

682
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 3: most of it hasn't, but just like almost like fishing

683
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 3: out there hoping to get the pleasure, but like not

684
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 3: even honing in on what that means for myself and

685
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 3: just expecting my partners to figure it out.

686
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 4: And I think.

687
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 1: Also almost shaming those people that didn't please you and

688
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: been like, yeah, that's sucked.

689
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 2: They sucked, And it's like, bitch, you don't even know.

690
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,800
Speaker 3: What you want, right, And then even sometimes like Orlando's

691
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 3: like jacking off like no nobody's business, and I'm like,

692
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,399
Speaker 3: I can't just do that, like it doesn't Like, first

693
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 3: of all, I don't masturbate like that much. But then

694
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 3: I'm like, am I I'm jealous? Like why why the

695
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 3: fuck do you know your body this well? Like, like

696
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 3: I think women and men just in general, it takes

697
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 3: different things for us to get there. But in enduring this,

698
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 3: like this journey of tantra, you know, like understanding the

699
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:24,800
Speaker 3: power of pleasure has been deeply like has really opened

700
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 3: up some shit inside me, like other layers that I

701
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,320
Speaker 3: hadn't expected it to open, and like to the point

702
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 3: of just like yeah, going to a party and being

703
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,839
Speaker 3: able to identify especially for women who have been put

704
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 3: in situations that maybe you didn't feel comfortable and maybe

705
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 3: you just said yes because you felt obligated, but being

706
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 3: it's put you in a position because to be in

707
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 3: power of yourself and to say no and to exercise

708
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 3: no and to feel safe enough to do it. And

709
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 3: I didn't realize how many positions I put myself in,

710
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,359
Speaker 3: or just been in positions in general where I did

711
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: not feel comfortable saying no because I was not aligned

712
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 3: with what my pleasure was and how that's like really

713
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 3: like affected me in other places, like to the point

714
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 3: where it was just like there are times where if

715
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 3: I'm alone and I'm.

716
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,959
Speaker 4: Starving, I'll wait hours to eat.

717
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 3: If I'm with my kid, if I'm with my friend

718
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 3: and she's like let's go eat, I'm like okay. But

719
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 3: by myself, I won't act on my own needs. And

720
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 3: it was like I didn't realize how much it become

721
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 3: a practice to not act in my own needs and

722
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 3: how much I need to explore what my pleasure is

723
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 3: in order to explore what my nose are or to

724
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 3: know like just like how far that range pleasure is

725
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 3: not just sex? You know, It's like, is it time

726
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 3: to eat, bitch, is it like, you know, do I

727
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 3: fuck with that person? Or am I just like fucking

728
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 3: with them because like they're nice or whatever?

729
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

730
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 3: But in those environments as the first time I felt

731
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:54,800
Speaker 3: empowered enough to be like have agency over my body

732
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 3: in ways because I just like, it's the first time

733
00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 3: I had to really think about it.

734
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 1: I also think a man, I mean, obviously, I think

735
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 1: this is a thing for oh thank you. I think

736
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 1: that as women, like we can have this conversation all

737
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: day long about like how we've been taking advantage of

738
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: and that like we haven't found our pleasure and all

739
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: these things. But I think as a man, I'm thinking

740
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 1: about you and how even as women we just like

741
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: a man, you jack off your nut, you experience pleasure,

742
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 1: like you always experience pleasure every.

743
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 2: Time you come.

744
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: But I will say that's not true all the time.

745
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: I think, whatever you do, but like, there's so much

746
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: more to pleasure than just the nut, and men often

747
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 1: don't get to or feel like they can't explore that

748
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: and experience that, and therefore their pleasure is super limited.

749
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,800
Speaker 1: And especially in a society now where women we are

750
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 1: like please me first, like it's very much like I

751
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 1: come first. I mean, there's there's still a lot of

752
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: work to do, but there's a lot more. There's a

753
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 1: lot we're being a lot more vocal about that than

754
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:52,240
Speaker 1: ever before.

755
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 5: It should be.

756
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 4: Where absolutely but all should be.

757
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: We all should be.

758
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 1: But I think about a man and their pleasure and

759
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 1: just like you know, the limit imitations and pleasure for

760
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:05,720
Speaker 1: a man based on so many things like sexuality, and.

761
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,359
Speaker 5: There's there's there's there's for some folks.

762
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 6: There's trauma for some folks, there is there is shame

763
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 6: for some men. For some men, there's that ego that

764
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 6: that gets in the way. I mean, you may somewhat

765
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 6: envy or dude being able to jerk off and come quick.

766
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 6: I envy some of the orgasms I see you guys

767
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 6: have them, Like fuck.

768
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 5: Like that ship Like I'll stop jerking off.

769
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 6: I won't jerk off anymore to get four of those

770
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 6: nuts a month, you know what I'm saying, Like fuck

771
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 6: that it's amazing, Which is why it's like it all

772
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 6: comes back to the space, in my opinion, should be

773
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 6: feminine driven because there's I even feel in my in

774
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 6: my experience, there's only my experience. Uh, the woman who

775
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 6: comings community hit the ground running a lot more than

776
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 6: the dude's do. That's when you see. That's when our

777
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 6: assis shows guys all that I'm situation. I'm gonna do

778
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 6: this now. And I see niggas walk in there and

779
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 6: freeze up like, oh my god, you know, and and

780
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 6: women are just like, I don't know what it is.

781
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 6: I don't It's just oh my god, is it is amazing?

782
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying? Like wow, like, which led

783
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 6: to to my fiance Simona, starting her own girl party

784
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 6: with maj the Fun Sexual. It's called Fensation, so it's

785
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 6: Susie I play and Maja's Fun Sexual and Simona uh

786
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 6: and this is an all women's party that happens once

787
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 6: a month. You could also find out through Sussia and

788
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 6: YC via the vetting form as well. There's no dick

789
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 6: in the building. I gotta leave. I leave like a

790
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 6: nine o'clock. I fucking And it's dope for me because

791
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 6: I was like, Yo, wait a minute, I get to

792
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 6: go hang out by myself, maybe catch a movie, eat dinner.

793
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,919
Speaker 5: That's like three and a half four hours right there.

794
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 5: Then four more hours.

795
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 6: Of like, okay, I'm gonna just chill, you know, go

796
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,919
Speaker 6: hang out with my homie or some shit.

797
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 5: You know.

798
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 6: So it's dope because when I came home after the

799
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,399
Speaker 6: first I remember walking in and I've never as a man,

800
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 6: and there's male privilege obvious, you know what I'm saying,

801
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 6: and I didn't ever feel the absence of it. Feeling

802
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 6: the absence of privilege. Lets you know how much you have,

803
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying. So when I walked into

804
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 6: my home, which is our our events space as well,

805
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 6: I have never felt such an energy of like, you're

806
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 6: really not needed here, you are not We're so good.

807
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 5: And I remember I walked in.

808
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, and it wasn't it wasn't intimidating,

809
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 6: it was just what it was. It's like, oh shit,

810
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,360
Speaker 6: like this is it's some powerful shit. I don't know

811
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 6: what the fuck went on and here I don't know

812
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 6: what happened, but it feels deep, you know, And she's

813
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 6: doing that once a month now, how is you?

814
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:06,520
Speaker 1: Or I guess pleasure expanded in this space from like

815
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 1: when it started to now like your interests and pleasure

816
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 1: and like the things that maybe you were willing to

817
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: you were maybe not willing to explore.

818
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,720
Speaker 2: Then versus now.

819
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 6: I think the biggest thing I'm I'm you know, identified,

820
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 6: kind of straightforward down the middle, you know, sis head identifying,

821
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 6: I leave space. I don't know what it would all

822
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 6: be at in a few years. I'm not like rushing.

823
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 6: I spent so much of my life rushing places and

824
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 6: trying to get shit done, and like like this is

825
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,720
Speaker 6: like I'm gonna take my time with it. No doors

826
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 6: are closed. There's trying my need to deal with obviously,

827
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:50,439
Speaker 6: you know. I think for me that the toughest part,

828
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,400
Speaker 6: if I'm answering the question correctly. The toughest part was

829
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 6: when Simona and I first got into it. When it

830
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 6: was first like, okay, our first threesome was with a dude,

831
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 6: because I was like, I've I've had three sums before

832
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,879
Speaker 6: with with with women, and it wasn't very there wasn't

833
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 6: much intent behind it.

834
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 5: It was more like.

835
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 6: Drunk, get drunk, you want some go yeah, I got yo,

836
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 6: I got I got a free crib. And then it's

837
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 6: just sloppy, gross ship. And then I'm like feeling like

838
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:19,280
Speaker 6: I accomplished something.

839
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 5: It was.

840
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 6: It was gross, it was gross, but with Simona it

841
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:28,880
Speaker 6: was like, oh shit, like and then I realized I'm

842
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 6: into compersion.

843
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 5: At that point, I was like, okay.

844
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 4: Cool, that was your first time realizing that.

845
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I was like, I enjoy seeing my partner

846
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:37,760
Speaker 6: being pleasure culture.

847
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,880
Speaker 3: Prior to that, were you like hesitant about doing it

848
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 3: in that dynamic where you like, were there.

849
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 5: Jealousy or she made me feel comfortable with it.

850
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 6: She made me feel so comfortable because one of the

851
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 6: first things that really made me fall in love was

852
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,720
Speaker 6: when she said I want to be more open minded,

853
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 6: and that let me know, like, oh shit, okay, like

854
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 6: we go and get more let's let's see what's up.

855
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:04,800
Speaker 6: And it was a mixture of it being incredibly sexy

856
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 6: and me wanting to kill everybody in the room, you

857
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 6: know what I'm saying.

858
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 5: It was a mixture of me being like, whoa, look

859
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 5: at her, look at her.

860
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 6: She's awesome, to a mixture of like, yeah, she never

861
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 6: made that noise with me, you know what I'm saying.

862
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 6: But all that combined the more I thought about it

863
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 6: and when she would explain to me, and you know,

864
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 6: just talking to people and talking I try to talk

865
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 6: to as many women as possible about it because I

866
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 6: trust y'all's opinion a lot more.

867
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 5: I just do.

868
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 6: But it wasn't I'm at a place now where I

869
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 6: don't feel competitive. You know, if you're going to have

870
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 6: an interaction with with my fiance, make it good and

871
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:49,879
Speaker 6: make it good, like yo, I want to watch. I'm

872
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 6: like okay, I'm oh. And I asked like, yo, what'd

873
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 6: you do? Like what was that thing you did? Because

874
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 6: I want to add it to my arsenal, like why not?

875
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 6: You know, you know, being with other women is dope.

876
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 6: You know, I'm a lot more into it now because

877
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 6: I'm allowing myself to be pleasured first. I'm like, okay,

878
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 6: I'm putting my pleasure as a priority. I spent a

879
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,359
Speaker 6: lot of time on my fiance's pleasure, and it wasn't

880
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 6: like from a good place. It was just because I

881
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,880
Speaker 6: didn't know how to check in with myself, you know.

882
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 6: So it wasn't like I was being this really cool now.

883
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 5: Just didn't know.

884
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 6: But now that I do know, now that I know

885
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 6: where we're at, you know, it's been it's been a

886
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 6: dope ass a journey man, like you.

887
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 3: Know, how do you deal with like how in that

888
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 3: first encounter with that that first three time you had

889
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 3: with your fiance. I mean yeah, your fiance wanting like

890
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 3: feeling really like turned on and excited, and also like

891
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,680
Speaker 3: you meant to kill everybody in the room. How do you, like,

892
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 3: how do you manage to like stay on the side

893
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,360
Speaker 3: of not killing everybody in the room.

894
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,959
Speaker 6: I think it was a it was a relief knowing

895
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 6: that the caveman and me was dying. That was like, oh,

896
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 6: this nigga is he's fighting.

897
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 5: That's no.

898
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,400
Speaker 6: No, really really like like when you see a cornered animal,

899
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 6: like that's what it was, and it's like yo, and

900
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 6: he's still there, he's still surfaces.

901
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: I think it's important for him to be there a

902
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 1: little bit. No, Yeah, there's the level of that that

903
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: I think is really is necessary.

904
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 5: It shouldn't be forward.

905
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:24,759
Speaker 2: No, yeah, because I think.

906
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 1: There's a lot of women that, at least from like

907
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 1: the conversations that I have that you know, Englan and

908
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 1: I have discussed this too, they want to experience that

909
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: with their partner, But a lot of times their partners

910
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:38,800
Speaker 1: are a uninterested or be too possessed, like they experience.

911
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 4: What the like a male male female oh.

912
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, or not even it doesn't even maybe not

913
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 1: even a male male female, just a male female and

914
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 1: my male is watching.

915
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 2: You know.

916
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 6: You know why I think a lot of women aren't.

917
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 6: A lot of women say they're not into MMF. It's

918
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:54,800
Speaker 6: because they don't want to be judged by their partners.

919
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 2: It's no, I'm saying they are into it.

920
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 4: They are are into they don't admit to they.

921
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: Don't admit to it, or they don't even know how

922
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: to address it with their partner. And their partner also

923
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to take this because they feel emasculated

924
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 1: by this idea or the idea because men are such

925
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: visual creatures of like me them coming after a man

926
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: like in that in that experience, like what that.

927
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 6: Visual visual part is? Other did going in my pussy? Yeah,

928
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 6: And that's it's It's like I think men we are

929
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:27,760
Speaker 6: complex individuals, but we're also really simple.

930
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 5: And that's that's literally just that.

931
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 2: And then I'm gonna go in there after that.

932
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:34,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great.

933
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 6: Although like stop, bro, I mean there there is this

934
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 6: one one thing that I'm whenever couples come in and

935
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 6: and you know, we'll have a conversation, I'll try to

936
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 6: talk to them and we'll try to talk to them,

937
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:47,359
Speaker 6: you know, just to make sure everything's cool.

938
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 5: It's it's if a couple is.

939
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:52,399
Speaker 6: Coming in and we notice that the couple is only

940
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:56,319
Speaker 6: playing with women, it's and we hear things like, well,

941
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 6: she only wants to play a woman, it's, you know, respectfully,

942
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 6: that's bullshit. You know what I'm saying. All that does

943
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 6: is built resentment. Because I've seen couples who've been in

944
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 6: lifestyle for a year come to our parties and the

945
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 6: conversation is, how do I tell them that I want

946
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 6: to you know, there's some good looking guy. I want

947
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 6: dick too. All I've been doing is EA and pussy

948
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,080
Speaker 6: and fucking please.

949
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

950
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 6: So after a while, it's like like, as guys, you know,

951
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 6: when we do the whole, we're friends things for as

952
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 6: long as we can. We will do that ship for

953
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 6: as long as we can. And I've seen it and it's.

954
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 5: Like, it's it's fucked up because it builds.

955
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:42,280
Speaker 6: Resentment, and it hinders your mutual experience and your individual

956
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 6: experience and the lifestyle. You know that the resentments a bitch,

957
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 6: that that ship, that ship will fuck up a moment.

958
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 6: You know, it's it's it sucks a moment up next thing,

959
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 6: you know, like oh you know, like yeah, so like

960
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 6: guys with there with couples like your girl wants dick too.

961
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 1: So as a man, though, I'm curious what would like

962
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 1: what obviously your fiance made you feel comfortable?

963
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 2: Was there something specific specific? What did she say?

964
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 4: Can you made you feel comfortable?

965
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 2: No, I think I love you so much. I love

966
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 2: your dick the most.

967
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:24,760
Speaker 4: Well that yours is bigger, but.

968
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 6: But check it out, but that that will be challenged

969
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 6: in a spacepace down there's some monsters in the.

970
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 5: Community, like motherfuckers. I'm like, yo, what.

971
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:41,800
Speaker 6: You want to put that ship way for a second,

972
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:43,840
Speaker 6: give it a peanut or some ship.

973
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 5: You know.

974
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: But I'm just curious as a man who had who it's.

975
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 6: Not the woman's work to do that. It's a man's

976
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 6: work to make sure that he's comfortable. Or don't go

977
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 6: into that space, don't try to get out of the pussy,

978
00:49:55,080 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 6: Like how selfish is that? Like you're essentially like I

979
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 6: don't want to say coerce, but yeah, you know, you know,

980
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 6: or even be cool about like no, I.

981
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 5: Don't know you want to go to party party, you know? Yeah?

982
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 6: You know, we complain Like no, like, do the work,

983
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 6: do the work on yourself first before you go into

984
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 6: the space. You know, like, am I ready for this?

985
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 4: That's the thing. It requires work that everyone's not ready to.

986
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 6: Do before, during, and after communicate if you go in

987
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 6: this couple, like be open to the fact that your

988
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 6: woman also has sexual needs and there is you can

989
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:39,839
Speaker 6: make love to your woman and no one will ever

990
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 6: do that to her the way you do it. But

991
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,439
Speaker 6: there may be someone who could blow her back out

992
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 6: in a really good way, in a really therapeutic way,

993
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying, where it's like, yo, man,

994
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 6: thank you, I thank Tomy's like yeo man, that was dope,

995
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 6: Like I appreciate you.

996
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:55,760
Speaker 5: Look she fell asleep.

997
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 2: Wow, she took the edge off. She's so much nicer this,

998
00:50:57,920 --> 00:50:58,439
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

999
00:50:58,480 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 1: No.

1000
00:50:59,000 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 5: And that's the thing about it.

1001
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:02,839
Speaker 6: And and and she's watched me get pleased like that too,

1002
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 6: and we please people like that. So it's like, as

1003
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,959
Speaker 6: a dude, do the work. Do the work, Like, don't

1004
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,280
Speaker 6: come into a space just hoping to get pussy, because

1005
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 6: it's gonna it's not going to be fulfilling. You could

1006
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 6: do that anywhere else. Not No, not our party. Go

1007
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,840
Speaker 6: to other parties if you want to come into Susia

1008
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 6: n YC. Come in Susia, play do the work. You

1009
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 6: know there there there's a book I recommend and I don't.

1010
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 6: It's called Ethical Nominogamy, and I appreciate that book. And

1011
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 6: from there you can read about other things. You know,

1012
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 6: there's there's, there's as And I can only speak from

1013
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 6: men's perspective. Men, we have a lot of work to do.

1014
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 6: We have a lot of letting go. We're holding onto

1015
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 6: a lot of fucking antiquated thoughts. I just saw a

1016
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:54,880
Speaker 6: post earlier today that says, if a girl gives you

1017
00:51:54,880 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 6: a three summings, because if you got, it's because you

1018
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 6: got whack dick.

1019
00:51:58,600 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 1: Uh.

1020
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,839
Speaker 6: Girls don't like Sharon good dick. And it's like, what

1021
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 6: does that?

1022
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 5: What does that even mean? I know women have good.

1023
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 2: So they're talking men out of threesome.

1024
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 5: Yes, I don't.

1025
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 6: I just read it and I'm like, yo, you are so

1026
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:17,040
Speaker 6: far removed from this. Like people want to give their

1027
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 6: opinions on things they don't know anything about.

1028
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 4: I know.

1029
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 3: I saw something on the spiritual world of whatever the fuck,

1030
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 3: and it was this girl and she was like, I

1031
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:26,320
Speaker 3: like getting rammed. I like whatever, if you want to

1032
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 3: write like a train on me, whatever you call it,

1033
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 3: I like it.

1034
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 4: And then I went to look at the car and I.

1035
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:34,240
Speaker 3: Just see everybody like she's she's never getting married?

1036
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 4: Who's like all these things? I even had.

1037
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:37,759
Speaker 3: I had an ex boyfriend, He's the one used brain

1038
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 3: into this weekend, and he told me that this girl

1039
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 3: he used to date told her told him that he

1040
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 3: wanted to mail male. She wanted to mail like two guys.

1041
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,239
Speaker 3: And I asked him like, well, how does that? What

1042
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 3: did that make you feel like? And he was like,

1043
00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 3: I would never marry someone who told me that. I'm like,

1044
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 3: so you could be completely in love, completely ready to

1045
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 3: marry someone, and then the moment she expressed this fantasy,

1046
00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 3: you would cut her off. He was also young and

1047
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,360
Speaker 3: fucking stupid, so that was why he got caught. But

1048
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 3: it's just so crazy, like the programming that happens not

1049
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 3: only to men but to women, you know, because for

1050
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 3: ever I was like, I wouldn't I'll never do that.

1051
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 3: I was like, I will never do that because it

1052
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,320
Speaker 3: felt rapy to me because I've been put in rapist

1053
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 3: situations with rapi ass guys and I had to really

1054
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 3: like I deprogrammed from that to recognize like it's okay

1055
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 3: to like have a fantasy and it's okay to express that,

1056
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:27,280
Speaker 3: and if the person that you're expressing it to doesn't

1057
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 3: fuck with it, it's okay to remove them too, you know,

1058
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,280
Speaker 3: Like anyone who's going to project shame on the person

1059
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 3: they love because of a fantasy or a kink is

1060
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 3: like it's just so crazy, like with men and women,

1061
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,240
Speaker 3: the what men are allowed to express and what women

1062
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,160
Speaker 3: are like contained to express, and how you will really

1063
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 3: begin to believe you're like a shitty person or are

1064
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 3: not worthy of marriage or worthy of partnership because you

1065
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:55,399
Speaker 3: have certain sexual fantasies because men will make you feel

1066
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 3: like that, like yeah, I'm supposed get all pussy, but

1067
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,479
Speaker 3: you don't get all of this dick Like no, nagg

1068
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

1069
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 6: And if a woman wants to get a train round

1070
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 6: on her, if it's in a safe space, it's consensual

1071
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,359
Speaker 6: and everyone understands their their laying.

1072
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:08,759
Speaker 4: I know.

1073
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:10,399
Speaker 3: I saw a train get run on somebody at last

1074
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,000
Speaker 3: time at the party, and I was highly jealous.

1075
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 4: I was like, what she was enjoying?

1076
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 2: They were all and it was for hours.

1077
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,360
Speaker 4: I even realized hours had gone by, it was hours,

1078
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:19,839
Speaker 4: and I was like.

1079
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 5: Wow, she has one guy can't do that.

1080
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, she, I'm like, the stamina that I'm seeing

1081
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 1: here is amazing. And they were all they were all

1082
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: seemed very very fucking happy about it.

1083
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 6: And there's there's respect, you know, there's there's all kinds

1084
00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:40,439
Speaker 6: of good vibes going on. And I think I think

1085
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 6: women are built to have a lot more sex than men, obviously,

1086
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying. So like, like, am I

1087
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 6: really going to get in the way of my partner

1088
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 6: achieving in an ethical way her utmost pleasure? Like why

1089
00:54:57,560 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 6: would I do that? Like I don't want to be

1090
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:01,520
Speaker 6: the source of everything for her.

1091
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 3: But but it comes it comes down to, like like

1092
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 3: you said, like checking your insecurity, because the truth is,

1093
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 3: like we can't be everything to anyone, even though we'd

1094
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,960
Speaker 3: like to. It's because like in love and relationships, especially

1095
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:17,239
Speaker 3: in monogamy or you know, your life partners, like we've

1096
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 3: learned that like ownership is acceptable and that like if

1097
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 3: I'm not everything to you, then someone can come in

1098
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 3: and be something else to you and potentially take you

1099
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 3: away from me.

1100
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 6: Or if you try to be everything for someone, you

1101
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:34,919
Speaker 6: can end up being overwhelming, overbearing, and then they're gonna

1102
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 6: do that anyway.

1103
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 5: It's like just just it's it's a lot of it's

1104
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:39,760
Speaker 5: a lot of pressure.

1105
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 6: It's a lot of pressure on yourself, a lot of

1106
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 6: pressure on them. And then also I'd like to mention

1107
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:47,320
Speaker 6: about about singles that come in, because they have a

1108
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:52,359
Speaker 6: lot of singles in too, you know, so we we

1109
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 6: we vet them the same way. And it's important, I think,

1110
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:58,800
Speaker 6: to have single folks in there because they add a

1111
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 6: different dynamic to it, you know. And we've been lucky

1112
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:07,759
Speaker 6: in that the community itself has helped create the safe

1113
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 6: space where we get a lot of really cool single

1114
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 6: women coming in and they don't feel afraid. I've had

1115
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 6: I had this one young sister that really let me

1116
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 6: know that I'm involved in something really beautiful. She's sitting

1117
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 6: there in the corner. There's a massage table out and

1118
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 6: the naked trumpeter with a eli was, you know, having

1119
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:30,919
Speaker 6: a scene with somebody, and she's watching and then there's

1120
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,400
Speaker 6: these beautiful scenes going on and it really looked like

1121
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 6: I was like, shit, you couldn't choreograph this shit. This

1122
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 6: is so organic and dope. And she's sitting there wide eyed,

1123
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,239
Speaker 6: and I thought she was like a little nervous. I

1124
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 6: sit and talked to her, and she starts getting watery,

1125
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:50,359
Speaker 6: watery eyed, and I'm like, oh shit, are you okay?

1126
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 6: Can I use some more? She's like, no, this is

1127
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 6: such a party foul. I'm only like this because I've

1128
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 6: never felt so seen and welcomed and safe. And then

1129
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,919
Speaker 6: she starts crying. I'm holding her, and then I'm learning

1130
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 6: something about myself because I wasn't aroused by her crying.

1131
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:09,319
Speaker 6: I was aroused by the fact that she felt that's safe, vulnerable. Yeah,

1132
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 6: and that was like, whoa. I mean, we didn't do anything,

1133
00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:14,360
Speaker 6: but you know, I let her, you know, cry. Simona

1134
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 6: came and spoke to her, but to other people, and

1135
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 6: she was just happy and seeing things like that. You

1136
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 6: don't see that in other spaces. You're not going to,

1137
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 6: you know, because the bottom line is really what drives

1138
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 6: it other spaces, that's always always going to be that

1139
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 6: it's always going to be a space.

1140
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 5: You know.

1141
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 6: If you open a sex positive space with the intent

1142
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 6: of it being your playground, then you're fucking up.

1143
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 5: Off the top. And a lot of these places are

1144
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 5: doing that.

1145
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,040
Speaker 6: If you open up a sex positive space and you're

1146
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 6: not willing to talk to everybody to put things in place,

1147
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 6: support systems in place. If you're not willing to make

1148
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 6: the hard decisions and tell certain people they can't come back,

1149
00:57:56,080 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 6: men or women, you know, or nonconformed, I mean, like you,

1150
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 6: you're fucking up, you know, Like the responsibility is to

1151
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:10,360
Speaker 6: the community first, and not everybody can be a part

1152
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 6: of it.

1153
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 3: And sex is such a like it's like a big part,

1154
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: but it's a minor part, like when you make tell

1155
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 3: stories like that, it's really about the intimacy that you

1156
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 3: experience just being having a human experience with other humans

1157
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 3: that are open to just being open and vulnerable is

1158
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 3: really what the space cultivates. It's like, it's not just

1159
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 3: about sex. It's about really about intimacy and comfort and

1160
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 3: like being able to cuddle someone and being and like

1161
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 3: and I'm so grateful even for like our journey here

1162
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 3: in podcasting. I think because we're talking so much about

1163
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 3: just all the things growth and trauma and pleasure and sex,

1164
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 3: like it's given us the wherewithal to show up just

1165
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:52,840
Speaker 3: more vulnerable and like be more intimate with our friends,

1166
00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:54,920
Speaker 3: be more intimate with each other, and not in a

1167
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 3: sexual way, but in a way that it's like, fuck

1168
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 3: all the bullshit you know what I mean, Like even

1169
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 3: our friends a friend circle that we've cultivated in the

1170
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 3: last five years. It's like there's not a friend that

1171
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 3: I can't like take off my shirt at Like they

1172
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 3: can't come over and take off the I can't take

1173
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 3: off my shirt and I'm.

1174
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:09,520
Speaker 2: Like, are you okay?

1175
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 4: No, bitch, I know you're okay, because this is the

1176
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 4: community that I've cultivated.

1177
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 6: It's a body and intimacy doesn't always have to go

1178
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 6: ahead and have with sex.

1179
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 7: No.

1180
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 3: And it's like our homegirl came over this weekend and me,

1181
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 3: Orlando and Jessica cuddled on the couch, you know what

1182
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 3: I mean, like the apartment, and it's like that for

1183
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 3: some people, I know, people who exist in worlds like

1184
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 3: that's not how their friendships cross, and that's cool. But

1185
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 3: for me, it's like the intimacy of not like it's

1186
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 3: some sexual shit, but it's like just the sensuality of

1187
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 3: being vulnerable enough to cry, vulnerable enough to be like

1188
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 3: I'm gonna fuck over here, okay, you know what I mean,

1189
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 3: Like just the honesty, the honestly And I.

1190
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 1: Think that's like the biggest misconception about these about well,

1191
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 1: I think I don't want to say these spaces because

1192
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 1: there are fucked up.

1193
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 2: There are some fucked up spaces for sure, but I.

1194
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 5: Think feel like they're mostly fucked up.

1195
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: But I think that you know, your space in particular

1196
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:09,000
Speaker 1: is as you as you saw, very healing for people.

1197
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,600
Speaker 1: People that don't even maybe aren't ready to participate, but

1198
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,960
Speaker 1: they need to see that these kind of spaces exist,

1199
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 1: that freedom, like that there is a place where I

1200
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 1: can be free, There's a place where I can feel safe,

1201
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 1: there is a place where like I'm I don't feel like, uh,

1202
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna be victim of some sort of predator

1203
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: of any sort. And also like even us as parents,

1204
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 1: like I know, when me and Mila first started the podcast,

1205
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:35,520
Speaker 1: and you know, when I first became single, I started

1206
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 1: dating a married couple and I was obviously having threesomes

1207
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:40,760
Speaker 1: with them. There was a level of excitement there, but

1208
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:42,600
Speaker 1: there was also a level of shame for me as

1209
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 1: a parent that I'm like making these threesome dates and

1210
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 1: then going in and talking my kid at the end

1211
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: of the night, and like I didn't have anyone to

1212
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: share these stories with because I didn't have I didn't

1213
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,680
Speaker 1: cultivated a French group a because I was the only

1214
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 1: one of my friends that had a child where I

1215
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: felt like I could share this new exciting thing, but

1216
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 1: I also felt kind of like, is this okay for

1217
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: me to be doing? And I know that, Like there's

1218
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:08,440
Speaker 1: so most of our demographic A are women, A lot of

1219
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 1: them are mothers, not all of them, but that want

1220
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 1: to explore these type of spaces, but feel a lot

1221
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 1: of guilt or shame or like, oh, that's I missed

1222
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 1: the boat on that like I can't do that anymore.

1223
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:21,680
Speaker 3: Oh there's no way I can be like an ad.

1224
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 5: Of your parent. That's me.

1225
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 6: It's interesting, and which is why I love yourself so much,

1226
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 6: because we do have a.

1227
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 5: Lot of parents.

1228
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:29,520
Speaker 1: And I was going to say that, you know, when

1229
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 1: I came to I came last time, a girl recognized

1230
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 1: me and she's.

1231
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 2: Like, I'm a mom, and I was like, oh my god,

1232
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 2: I'm so happy to see you here. She's like, I'm a.

1233
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: Nurse, and I was like, you just don't know the

1234
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:45,240
Speaker 1: type of people walking down the street that A like

1235
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 1: want to have these experiences. B have already had these

1236
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 1: experiences and are actively doing these experiences, like.

1237
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 2: From doctors to nurses to stay at home moms.

1238
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:57,080
Speaker 3: To like, well, we have an idea of what these

1239
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:00,200
Speaker 3: people are supposed to look like, right, how these people.

1240
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 2: You know?

1241
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 1: And and and and that's this, that's the perception and

1242
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:07,439
Speaker 1: the misconception.

1243
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:10,960
Speaker 6: I feel there are some very're they're all very powerful.

1244
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 6: We have a very powerful women in our group. You know,

1245
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 6: all kinds of career backgrounds, teachers, lawyers, you know, hospitality,

1246
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:26,200
Speaker 6: you know, police officers.

1247
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:31,040
Speaker 5: You know, they're just there being human. They're just there exploring.

1248
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 6: And I think I think seeing this a lot of

1249
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 6: people may be triggered by the conversation alone, like fuck that,

1250
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:46,960
Speaker 6: you know. I definitely feel as as a parent, you know,

1251
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 6: it's for me, it's important to have this conversation. My

1252
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:51,560
Speaker 6: son is going to be eighteen in me.

1253
01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 2: Does he know what you do?

1254
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 6: He knows I have a sex positive community. It's ongoing conversation.

1255
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:01,640
Speaker 6: I talked to him about what sex positivity is to him.

1256
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 6: You know, it's a beautiful young queer man child, and

1257
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:11,720
Speaker 6: he understands that there's different kinds of sex, you know,

1258
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,640
Speaker 6: and the main thing is to be true to yourself.

1259
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 6: Who do you share space with? Who do you allow

1260
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 6: in your space? Why are you doing it to please somebody?

1261
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 5: For yourself.

1262
01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 6: And also understanding that, you know, they're in people in

1263
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:31,400
Speaker 6: my family, like who are heavily religious, and it's like,

1264
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,680
Speaker 6: I mean, I can't. For a while, it was I

1265
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,600
Speaker 6: was very ill. I was kind of a shamed, Like I

1266
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 6: don't know, I don't know if it was so much

1267
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 6: shame as much as like they don't need to know.

1268
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, because.

1269
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:48,320
Speaker 6: They're not going to get it, Like if you made

1270
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 6: it's like talking to someone about politics who's like an

1271
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,720
Speaker 6: avid Trump supporter, Like there's gonna be a circular conversation,

1272
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:58,400
Speaker 6: Like you don't you're there, you want to remain there.

1273
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,480
Speaker 6: It's your safe space, you know, and I can judge

1274
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:04,840
Speaker 6: you for that, you know, just don't fuck with me.

1275
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:06,880
Speaker 5: Don't fuck with my space, you know.

1276
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 3: I think people forget that as humans were multifaceted, so

1277
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 3: it doesn't really matter. Like even if you're listening right

1278
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 3: now and you're judging the fuck out of us, that's cool,

1279
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,840
Speaker 3: change the channel, but you're probably still listening because you're intrigued.

1280
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:23,240
Speaker 3: And I think at the end of the day, like

1281
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:27,920
Speaker 3: our human nature, humans are intended to be sexual, hence

1282
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:30,920
Speaker 3: how we all got here and populated the earth. So

1283
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 3: like I think a lot of times we are removing

1284
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 3: the sexuality and the sensuality from our existence because it's

1285
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,640
Speaker 3: been shamed, it's been judged, And then we're harboring all

1286
01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:45,800
Speaker 3: these secret kinks and fantasies and just like only indulging

1287
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 3: in them alone when the door is closed, and then

1288
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:50,160
Speaker 3: feeling guilt about it, and like it festers. And I

1289
01:04:50,200 --> 01:04:56,640
Speaker 3: think the like the most like dynamic thing about having

1290
01:04:56,800 --> 01:05:00,440
Speaker 3: the freedom to explore your sexuality wherever you're at in

1291
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 3: your life, whether you be a parent or a doctor

1292
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 3: or a nurse or whatever the fuck you do, is

1293
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 3: like acknowledging that at the very base, we are all

1294
01:05:08,640 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 3: sexual beings and we should we have we should all

1295
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 3: have the right to explore those those sexuality, those those

1296
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:23,080
Speaker 3: I don't know how you say, like the spectrum of

1297
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 3: sexuality without shame or without guilt. And there's really no

1298
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:29,760
Speaker 3: point in your life because you have a degree in this,

1299
01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:32,200
Speaker 3: or because you have kids, or because you're newly divorced

1300
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:34,920
Speaker 3: or whatever the fuck lie you've told yourself that you

1301
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 3: don't have the like, the wherewithal to explore it. And

1302
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:41,440
Speaker 3: if you don't have to be single, you don't have

1303
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:43,040
Speaker 3: to be married, you don't have to be this or

1304
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:46,120
Speaker 3: that to be like, hey, today's the day I'm gonna

1305
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:48,200
Speaker 3: go pop up in my pussy in the mirror and

1306
01:05:48,240 --> 01:05:50,800
Speaker 3: see what's poppin', you know. And I think sometimes, like

1307
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:53,560
Speaker 3: you said, like couples don't even discuss sex together the

1308
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 3: only person you're having sex with. A lot of times

1309
01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 3: you don't even think about it for yourself. You just

1310
01:05:57,680 --> 01:06:00,160
Speaker 3: turn off the lights, get naked and hump. But like

1311
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 3: the exploration of and the freedom of exploring your sexuality

1312
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 3: and different facets really gives you freedom to explore all

1313
01:06:08,080 --> 01:06:10,920
Speaker 3: parts of yourself. And it's like if you're able to

1314
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 3: explore that part, then you can like, oh, well, maybe

1315
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,960
Speaker 3: there's some trauma here, maybe there's some things I need

1316
01:06:14,960 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 3: to work on there. And you'd be surprised when exploring

1317
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 3: your pleasure sexually or other the other things that come

1318
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 3: up that you realize you have to do work on.

1319
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:27,520
Speaker 3: It's just really like a means to really exploring yourself

1320
01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:30,360
Speaker 3: and growth, because like you said, like even in a relationship,

1321
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:32,320
Speaker 3: even as a single person, you go into a space

1322
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 3: like that and things are gonna come up and you're like, Damn,

1323
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:36,520
Speaker 3: I'm jealous, Damn I'm insecure.

1324
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:36,840
Speaker 4: Damn.

1325
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,200
Speaker 3: That really makes me feel uncomfortable. Why, you know, like,

1326
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 3: do I think this person's gonna leave me? Do I

1327
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 3: think like that puts these.

1328
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:42,560
Speaker 4: Better than mine?

1329
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 2: Like?

1330
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,240
Speaker 4: What is it?

1331
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:44,480
Speaker 2: Like?

1332
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:47,280
Speaker 3: The things that come up in exploring your own pleasure

1333
01:06:47,840 --> 01:06:52,520
Speaker 3: are things that usually people cloak for so long until

1334
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:55,680
Speaker 3: and they just dismiss and they numb out because they

1335
01:06:55,680 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 3: think they're not supposed to explore, or that it's bad

1336
01:06:57,920 --> 01:07:03,640
Speaker 3: to explore. And reality, just like giving yourself permission to

1337
01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:08,640
Speaker 3: experience different lifestyles and different like things is key.

1338
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 4: You know.

1339
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 3: I was just talking to Orlando. I was like, Wow,

1340
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:13,920
Speaker 3: we have like such a cool life. You know, like

1341
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 3: we could literally sex party on Friday and take the

1342
01:07:16,480 --> 01:07:18,960
Speaker 3: kid to school on Monday, you know, like pumpkin patch

1343
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:19,520
Speaker 3: on Tuesday.

1344
01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:21,720
Speaker 4: You know what I mean. Like, it doesn't make me

1345
01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:23,000
Speaker 4: a less parent or.

1346
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,120
Speaker 5: A less I think it makes you more well rounded parent.

1347
01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:25,640
Speaker 4: It does.

1348
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 3: I'm like a much happier bitch because I'm having a

1349
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:31,240
Speaker 3: I'm living a full life. I'm exploring all of the things.

1350
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:33,680
Speaker 3: Like I didn't cut off my curiosity when I turned

1351
01:07:33,680 --> 01:07:35,280
Speaker 3: fucking twenty, because now.

1352
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 4: It's all work and bills.

1353
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 2: You know.

1354
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:39,080
Speaker 4: It's like the playground of adulthood.

1355
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:42,240
Speaker 3: In ways, it's like being able to constantly keep that

1356
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:45,920
Speaker 3: curiosity and not have limits to how you explore because

1357
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 3: you're in a relationship or because you're x y age.

1358
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:52,840
Speaker 3: It's just like this constant like playfulness of life and

1359
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:54,360
Speaker 3: how we are able to explore it.

1360
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:56,160
Speaker 4: And I'm just.

1361
01:07:56,040 --> 01:08:01,040
Speaker 3: Grateful for your your space because it's provided that for us.

1362
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:02,920
Speaker 3: And like when we left there, we're like, oh my god,

1363
01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 3: I just.

1364
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:05,840
Speaker 6: Want to touch on something real quick in terms of

1365
01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:09,600
Speaker 6: and I'm sorry, I just because you mentioned safety earlier.

1366
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:15,640
Speaker 6: You mentioned, if I remember correctly, being around different things,

1367
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:20,840
Speaker 6: different sexualities. Our play party is with intent going to

1368
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:25,759
Speaker 6: become more queer, you know, because in holding opening a space,

1369
01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:29,160
Speaker 6: the whole space for black and brown and indigenous humans,

1370
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:33,160
Speaker 6: we can't just do it for one kind of human right.

1371
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:37,960
Speaker 6: So in a safe space like that, another situation, I

1372
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:42,240
Speaker 6: was really dope. I saw this brother recently had top surgery,

1373
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:47,120
Speaker 6: take his shirt off in the space and seeing him

1374
01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:50,559
Speaker 6: go from like you know, anybody looking at me, you know,

1375
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:57,760
Speaker 6: have the scars and you know, and imagining his journey,

1376
01:08:57,880 --> 01:08:59,720
Speaker 6: you know, the shit he went through. If we think

1377
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:03,000
Speaker 6: you're fucking struggling, like Oh my god, You're like, this

1378
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:06,240
Speaker 6: is like, holy shit, this is amazing. This powerful human

1379
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:10,479
Speaker 6: is here right now and is making the steps towards

1380
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 6: being comfortable in his own skin.

1381
01:09:13,640 --> 01:09:13,840
Speaker 5: You know.

1382
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:17,920
Speaker 6: So we definitely let people know if if that bothers,

1383
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,080
Speaker 6: you don't come to our party either, you know what

1384
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:25,639
Speaker 6: I'm saying. You know that, you know, we're really trying

1385
01:09:25,680 --> 01:09:29,080
Speaker 6: to hold space for all kinds of people and and

1386
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 6: not in a pandering way. Some places are very pandering,

1387
01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:34,639
Speaker 6: and it's like, nah, this is this is what it is.

1388
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:40,200
Speaker 6: You know, one person only shot out litosauris Fects. She's

1389
01:09:40,240 --> 01:09:42,720
Speaker 6: super dope. She put me onto that she she had

1390
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 6: a really dope transhuman party in our space, and I

1391
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:48,639
Speaker 6: saw I was like wow, Like.

1392
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:51,479
Speaker 5: The just the.

1393
01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 6: Bravery it takes for some of these humans to come

1394
01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 6: out and be in a space and then seeing their

1395
01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:01,599
Speaker 6: postures change, you know, and back straightened up and when

1396
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:04,360
Speaker 6: they feel safe, you know, and it's like an everyday thing.

1397
01:10:04,520 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 6: So like we want to hold space for them too.

1398
01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:09,320
Speaker 4: Everybody should have a place to feel.

1399
01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:10,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, man, for sure.

1400
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:14,800
Speaker 6: You know, sexuality is a dope thing, and it's not

1401
01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:17,760
Speaker 6: always fucking it's not always penetration, you know.

1402
01:10:17,920 --> 01:10:20,280
Speaker 1: Well, I think when you have a space like that,

1403
01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:23,960
Speaker 1: and you know, you open up the space for all,

1404
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 1: it allows people to navigate in their everyday life with

1405
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 1: a lot more compassion because sexuality, ultimately it bridges the

1406
01:10:32,560 --> 01:10:36,480
Speaker 1: gap between between people. And there's a lot of misconceptions

1407
01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:39,400
Speaker 1: in all communities about what that looks like, what that

1408
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:43,840
Speaker 1: might feel like for someone, and then you actually experience

1409
01:10:43,880 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 1: it and you're like, huh.

1410
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:52,639
Speaker 6: Yeah, And sexuality facilitates compassion for other people. And when

1411
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:57,760
Speaker 6: you have a compassion for other people, you're able to

1412
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:00,280
Speaker 6: be on common ground. I feel the column is of

1413
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 6: sexuality is hand in hand with fighting patriarchy and white supremacy.

1414
01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:07,919
Speaker 6: It's right there because the way we look at ourselves

1415
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:11,120
Speaker 6: is through their lens that they put on us. So

1416
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:15,040
Speaker 6: it's a constant struggle, it's constant work. If you're down

1417
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:17,559
Speaker 6: for the work, come through. If you're not going to

1418
01:11:17,560 --> 01:11:22,680
Speaker 6: another party, you know, one more personal. I want to

1419
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:26,679
Speaker 6: shout out New York City and y see love House

1420
01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:30,160
Speaker 6: and y See Love House. These are all amazing, strong,

1421
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:33,800
Speaker 6: strong black and brown sisters who have really in many

1422
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:36,960
Speaker 6: ways guided us just by being there, just by their

1423
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:41,920
Speaker 6: presence alone. You guys too, you know, just by being

1424
01:11:41,960 --> 01:11:45,360
Speaker 6: there and and when we see the right people there,

1425
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:48,559
Speaker 6: it's like, Okay, we're doing the right thing, you know,

1426
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:53,679
Speaker 6: and we're looking forward to our our pop up parties

1427
01:11:54,479 --> 01:11:57,840
Speaker 6: soon come different cities.

1428
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:00,439
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

1429
01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:04,240
Speaker 1: Well, we didn't get to do an affirmation, so I

1430
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:08,519
Speaker 1: want to bring it back, bring it back and ask

1431
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:10,240
Speaker 1: you if you have an affirmation that you'd like to

1432
01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:11,240
Speaker 1: share with our audience.

1433
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:15,120
Speaker 5: My affirmation.

1434
01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:21,880
Speaker 6: Is to continuously work from a place of compassion and love.

1435
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:26,240
Speaker 6: I want to work from that space. I want to

1436
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:32,519
Speaker 6: live in that space because it it makes me happy,

1437
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,840
Speaker 6: you know, like being able to listen to people, being

1438
01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:40,240
Speaker 6: able to help people, being able to connect people. So yeah,

1439
01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:44,599
Speaker 6: like my mantras like reside in compassion and.

1440
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:47,919
Speaker 4: Love, reside and compassion and love.

1441
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:49,000
Speaker 5: I love that.

1442
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:49,599
Speaker 2: I dig that.

1443
01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:53,920
Speaker 3: You also pulled a Tarot card at the top of

1444
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:58,720
Speaker 3: the show, the Sun Card, and Lewis told us that

1445
01:12:58,760 --> 01:13:01,920
Speaker 3: his mom is a Tarot queen. If I'm saying anything wrong,

1446
01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:03,360
Speaker 3: you can just chime right in if you.

1447
01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:06,879
Speaker 4: Know what this card means. That this was interesting.

1448
01:13:06,920 --> 01:13:11,920
Speaker 3: The Sun Tarot card radiates with optimism and positivity. In

1449
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:14,639
Speaker 3: the foreground, a young naked child is sitting on top

1450
01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:17,559
Speaker 3: of a calm white horse. The child represents the joy

1451
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:21,000
Speaker 3: of being connected with your inner spirit, and his nakedness

1452
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:23,240
Speaker 3: is a sign he has nothing to hide and has

1453
01:13:23,280 --> 01:13:27,280
Speaker 3: all the innocence and purity of childhood. The white horse

1454
01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:32,200
Speaker 3: is also a sign of purity and strength. It represents success, radiance,

1455
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:34,360
Speaker 3: and abundance. It gives you strength and tells you that

1456
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,160
Speaker 3: no matter where you go or what you do, your

1457
01:13:36,160 --> 01:13:39,320
Speaker 3: positive and radiant energy will follow you and bring you

1458
01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:42,160
Speaker 3: happiness and joy. People are drawn to you because you

1459
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:44,559
Speaker 3: can always see the bright side and bring such warmth

1460
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:45,719
Speaker 3: into other people's lives.

1461
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:48,360
Speaker 4: This is what you do in sousia.

1462
01:13:49,320 --> 01:13:52,000
Speaker 3: This beautiful warm energy is what will get you through

1463
01:13:52,080 --> 01:13:54,200
Speaker 3: the tough times and help you succeed. You're also in

1464
01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:56,720
Speaker 3: a position where you can share your highest qualities and

1465
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:59,760
Speaker 3: achievements with others, Radiate who you are and what you

1466
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:02,240
Speaker 3: see stand for, shine your love on those you care about.

1467
01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:07,439
Speaker 3: The Sun connects you to your power base, not fear

1468
01:14:07,520 --> 01:14:11,880
Speaker 3: driven egotistical power, but the abundant inner energy radiating through

1469
01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:15,719
Speaker 3: you right now. You'll sense it in your solar plexus chakra,

1470
01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:19,799
Speaker 3: calling you to express yourself authentically and be fully present

1471
01:14:19,840 --> 01:14:22,639
Speaker 3: in the world around you. You have what others want

1472
01:14:22,720 --> 01:14:24,880
Speaker 3: and are being asked to radiate your energy and your

1473
01:14:24,920 --> 01:14:27,360
Speaker 3: gifts out into the world in a big way. Tap

1474
01:14:27,400 --> 01:14:30,280
Speaker 3: into your power and use your divine and use your

1475
01:14:30,360 --> 01:14:33,439
Speaker 3: divine will to express that power in positive ways.

1476
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:41,000
Speaker 2: Susia pop ups. Honestly, I love that.

1477
01:14:42,439 --> 01:14:44,040
Speaker 5: I kind of feel cool, all right.

1478
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:47,479
Speaker 1: That was actuate And I feel that every time i'm

1479
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:50,360
Speaker 1: every time i'm in your presence, every time I see you,

1480
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:53,200
Speaker 1: I feel this immense arrabiance.

1481
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:57,599
Speaker 2: Even your text messages. He's so nice, us so kind,

1482
01:14:58,320 --> 01:14:59,040
Speaker 2: I'm getting.

1483
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:02,719
Speaker 5: Making me snarkles, your hugs.

1484
01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:04,040
Speaker 4: I'm like, you said, this feels good.

1485
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:09,719
Speaker 1: Okay, before we let you go, we have a show.

1486
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:13,200
Speaker 1: I mean, we have a segment on our show called Stories.

1487
01:15:14,680 --> 01:15:15,280
Speaker 5: Stories.

1488
01:15:15,360 --> 01:15:24,800
Speaker 7: Okay, Stories, I got one and what what what other

1489
01:15:24,840 --> 01:15:25,679
Speaker 7: guests would we ask?

1490
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:27,800
Speaker 2: But you to share one? I was gonna say. I

1491
01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:30,800
Speaker 2: was like, should we like ask our fans? Now? I

1492
01:15:30,800 --> 01:15:33,720
Speaker 2: feel like you have some good ones.

1493
01:15:34,080 --> 01:15:37,040
Speaker 6: I think I think one of the one of the

1494
01:15:37,439 --> 01:15:45,120
Speaker 6: more interesting ones, which was a big challenge to to

1495
01:15:45,400 --> 01:15:47,320
Speaker 6: who I thought I was that as a man at

1496
01:15:47,360 --> 01:15:47,880
Speaker 6: that point.

1497
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:50,080
Speaker 5: It's very interesting.

1498
01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:53,000
Speaker 6: It's also a story about just being honest with the

1499
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:57,559
Speaker 6: people that you're interacting with. Right, we're having a threesome

1500
01:15:58,840 --> 01:16:02,720
Speaker 6: and I'm sorry, mom, I got I got it.

1501
01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:07,559
Speaker 5: This is the funny fucking story. I love you. So

1502
01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:11,040
Speaker 5: we're having a three sum right, and my partner she

1503
01:16:11,200 --> 01:16:12,760
Speaker 5: likes being choked out a little bit.

1504
01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:17,439
Speaker 6: Right, So we meet this dude. We tid me thinking

1505
01:16:17,479 --> 01:16:20,280
Speaker 6: to his big dude right from kind of I'm like, damn, surety,

1506
01:16:20,320 --> 01:16:22,960
Speaker 6: this what's're into? Like figure like, you know, I find

1507
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:27,040
Speaker 6: all these things out football player easily, like thirty pounds

1508
01:16:27,080 --> 01:16:29,080
Speaker 6: heavy than me, just pure muscle. And I'm like, word,

1509
01:16:29,880 --> 01:16:34,360
Speaker 6: I'll roll with it, you know. So we're there and

1510
01:16:34,400 --> 01:16:36,080
Speaker 6: everything and it was just, you know, it was a

1511
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:36,599
Speaker 6: cool vibe.

1512
01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:38,240
Speaker 5: It was a cool dude. You know. It wasn't you know.

1513
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:41,120
Speaker 5: I didn't feel threatened or anything like that.

1514
01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:43,320
Speaker 4: Was just three yeah, okay.

1515
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:45,840
Speaker 6: So this was Alwa was in my stage of just

1516
01:16:45,840 --> 01:16:48,200
Speaker 6: making sure that she was good before I started focusing

1517
01:16:48,200 --> 01:16:48,719
Speaker 6: on myself.

1518
01:16:49,040 --> 01:16:52,000
Speaker 5: So anyway, she's she's riding me, right, and he has

1519
01:16:52,040 --> 01:16:54,880
Speaker 5: her choked up a little bit, and she.

1520
01:16:54,920 --> 01:16:57,880
Speaker 6: Starts, you know, orgasing me and kind of slightly passes

1521
01:16:57,920 --> 01:17:00,280
Speaker 6: out a little bit and shit because of the choke hold,

1522
01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:04,559
Speaker 6: and he's behind her right, But then we're in the

1523
01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:07,640
Speaker 6: sheets are spreading a little bit, and I'm kind of like,

1524
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:09,320
Speaker 6: I see his head he hasard like this and his

1525
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:11,880
Speaker 6: head sinking, and I'm like, what's going on?

1526
01:17:12,400 --> 01:17:16,080
Speaker 5: And I feel his balls on my leg. I'm like,

1527
01:17:16,200 --> 01:17:19,320
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm like, did you do that?

1528
01:17:19,520 --> 01:17:21,559
Speaker 6: I'm like, cause she's coming, I don't want to suck

1529
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:24,479
Speaker 6: up ship and I didn't. I didn't, you know, like

1530
01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:27,040
Speaker 6: I know, my I know when my balls are in something,

1531
01:17:27,439 --> 01:17:28,360
Speaker 6: I'm kid away.

1532
01:17:28,520 --> 01:17:29,120
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

1533
01:17:29,200 --> 01:17:29,439
Speaker 2: I know.

1534
01:17:29,720 --> 01:17:31,240
Speaker 5: And I'm like he's like.

1535
01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:39,360
Speaker 6: And slowly lifts them up, so I'm sorry, yeah, yo, my.

1536
01:17:39,360 --> 01:17:40,040
Speaker 5: Bad, My bad.

1537
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:44,640
Speaker 6: And earlier that night, which I started, I was like,

1538
01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:48,640
Speaker 6: oh this this nigga's bugging. Earlier that in the scene,

1539
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:51,200
Speaker 6: I don't know what was I we were like switching

1540
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:54,280
Speaker 6: a position over. She's in between us, and like his

1541
01:17:54,280 --> 01:17:58,360
Speaker 6: his chain fell on my face and I'm like, I'm like, yo,

1542
01:17:57,880 --> 01:18:01,559
Speaker 6: like you like it's like it's be so aware.

1543
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:04,120
Speaker 5: I didn't say. I was like, you know, he moves it,

1544
01:18:05,160 --> 01:18:06,559
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I'm getting the vibe now.

1545
01:18:06,600 --> 01:18:08,680
Speaker 6: I'm like, yo, this dude, and part of me, like

1546
01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:11,160
Speaker 6: the cave man, is like yo, man, fuck this nigga.

1547
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:14,680
Speaker 6: But the reality was like, I'm not I don't want

1548
01:18:14,720 --> 01:18:16,559
Speaker 6: to put myself in a position to get knocked out

1549
01:18:17,439 --> 01:18:19,800
Speaker 6: by a naked nigga in front of my lady because

1550
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:21,240
Speaker 6: she'll never feel safe around me again.

1551
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:21,840
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

1552
01:18:21,840 --> 01:18:24,479
Speaker 6: It's like, no matter what you know, I'm like, you're

1553
01:18:24,479 --> 01:18:26,360
Speaker 6: always bothering you. She'll be like, chill baby, remember what

1554
01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:27,160
Speaker 6: happened last time.

1555
01:18:27,280 --> 01:18:28,800
Speaker 5: I don't. I don't want to be involved in that.

1556
01:18:29,479 --> 01:18:32,519
Speaker 6: So in my head, I'm like, I don't even know

1557
01:18:32,520 --> 01:18:34,840
Speaker 6: what to do, and I'm like but then it clicked.

1558
01:18:34,880 --> 01:18:36,120
Speaker 5: I'm like, it doesn't change.

1559
01:18:35,880 --> 01:18:40,920
Speaker 6: Who I am at all, And if anything, it also clicked.

1560
01:18:40,960 --> 01:18:43,800
Speaker 5: I'm like, fuck, we do this to women every fucking day.

1561
01:18:44,920 --> 01:18:46,559
Speaker 4: Put your chain in their face and shit.

1562
01:18:47,240 --> 01:18:50,160
Speaker 6: Intimidate them with our side and getting in their space,

1563
01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:53,200
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying, and then expecting them to

1564
01:18:53,240 --> 01:18:54,880
Speaker 6: respond in a positive way.

1565
01:18:55,360 --> 01:18:56,000
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

1566
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:58,679
Speaker 6: So for me, it was like, okay, cool, Like that's

1567
01:18:59,160 --> 01:19:01,200
Speaker 6: this is an extreme example of how it feels like.

1568
01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:04,800
Speaker 6: I know I don't like testicular sacks on my thigh.

1569
01:19:05,200 --> 01:19:05,720
Speaker 5: I know that.

1570
01:19:06,479 --> 01:19:12,000
Speaker 8: I was like, I'm good, no, no, no, and it

1571
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:14,479
Speaker 8: was just you know, and then you know, she collapses

1572
01:19:14,520 --> 01:19:17,320
Speaker 8: between us and I'm just like stiff, I'm like looking

1573
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:17,559
Speaker 8: at her.

1574
01:19:17,600 --> 01:19:20,479
Speaker 6: I'm like and then he's just you know, big motherfucker me.

1575
01:19:20,479 --> 01:19:23,679
Speaker 5: And he's like, you guys are a beautiful color.

1576
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:26,240
Speaker 6: And he's dead in my eyes and I'm looking at

1577
01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:29,839
Speaker 6: her and she's just like like like halfway snoring.

1578
01:19:29,920 --> 01:19:32,640
Speaker 5: I'm like, baby, come on.

1579
01:19:33,160 --> 01:19:35,400
Speaker 6: And then you know, and then it turns into the conversation.

1580
01:19:35,400 --> 01:19:37,479
Speaker 6: We just started having a conversation, and I was like,

1581
01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:40,280
Speaker 6: you know, I didn't. I was like having a nervous

1582
01:19:40,439 --> 01:19:42,519
Speaker 6: laugh joking. So I'm nervous as are joking and Ship,

1583
01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:43,080
Speaker 6: you know what I'm saying.

1584
01:19:43,120 --> 01:19:44,000
Speaker 5: I like making him laugh.

1585
01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:47,160
Speaker 6: I'm getting dressed and Ship feeling a little more comfortable now.

1586
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:51,280
Speaker 6: And then and then my partner comes to and it

1587
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:54,280
Speaker 6: was I was like, all right, cool, So that was

1588
01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:55,880
Speaker 6: that was an interesting situation for me.

1589
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,320
Speaker 4: Did you feel like trying?

1590
01:19:58,560 --> 01:19:59,400
Speaker 5: That was trying?

1591
01:19:59,479 --> 01:20:05,160
Speaker 6: You think I will know when he said, like eyebrows,

1592
01:20:09,560 --> 01:20:13,160
Speaker 6: She's on top of me riding cowgirl and he's over

1593
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:17,360
Speaker 6: her shoulder and he's like disappearing.

1594
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:16,760
Speaker 5: And he pops up.

1595
01:20:16,800 --> 01:20:18,560
Speaker 6: I'm like, man, come on, you tried it. Man, that

1596
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:23,559
Speaker 6: ship was so so be you know, be be forth frighting.

1597
01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:26,640
Speaker 6: Someone's like, you know another time.

1598
01:20:28,040 --> 01:20:32,080
Speaker 5: I got another time and I got love with his brother.

1599
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:33,840
Speaker 6: He's cool as fuck, man, but he was he was

1600
01:20:33,880 --> 01:20:35,560
Speaker 6: like slick nigga, like the funk out of here with

1601
01:20:35,600 --> 01:20:40,479
Speaker 6: that ship. So you know, we're playing with this lady

1602
01:20:40,479 --> 01:20:44,559
Speaker 6: and you know, he asked me, He's like, yo, what

1603
01:20:44,560 --> 01:20:45,240
Speaker 6: what are you into?

1604
01:20:45,560 --> 01:20:49,280
Speaker 5: And I'm like a mom into her, like I thought

1605
01:20:49,280 --> 01:20:52,280
Speaker 5: that was pretty clear clear. He's like, no, no, no,

1606
01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:53,599
Speaker 5: but what are you into? I'm like.

1607
01:20:56,280 --> 01:20:59,120
Speaker 6: And he's like all right, all right, and he's like

1608
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:01,360
Speaker 6: he's like a very mask when like by d it's

1609
01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:01,880
Speaker 6: really cool.

1610
01:21:01,920 --> 01:21:03,599
Speaker 4: But just like you know, you knew he was by

1611
01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:03,960
Speaker 4: you knew.

1612
01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:06,040
Speaker 5: After I knew I knew, I was like, cool, man,

1613
01:21:06,120 --> 01:21:08,760
Speaker 5: I'm not worried about that, right. So you know.

1614
01:21:11,080 --> 01:21:15,400
Speaker 6: It's like that like my ship's in her mouth, is

1615
01:21:15,439 --> 01:21:18,599
Speaker 6: in her mouth, my beaut this is in her oral orifice, right,

1616
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:20,360
Speaker 6: and the nigga.

1617
01:21:20,160 --> 01:21:20,840
Speaker 5: Kisses her cheek.

1618
01:21:22,840 --> 01:21:25,040
Speaker 6: I was like, I was.

1619
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:27,720
Speaker 4: Like, yo, man, I haven't even heard anything.

1620
01:21:28,120 --> 01:21:31,320
Speaker 6: Slick, but that's how slick niggas is again and clicked.

1621
01:21:31,320 --> 01:21:34,080
Speaker 6: I was like, yo, I've done wild ship like that

1622
01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:37,680
Speaker 6: with women where I want to do like oops, my bad,

1623
01:21:37,760 --> 01:21:38,479
Speaker 6: my big fell out.

1624
01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:40,360
Speaker 5: I was saying, Zip, it's hard. What are you gonna

1625
01:21:40,360 --> 01:21:41,639
Speaker 5: do now, you know what I'm saying.

1626
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:43,880
Speaker 3: And I was like, that's that's what that's what it

1627
01:21:43,960 --> 01:21:49,080
Speaker 3: feels like, slimy, like you're just trying me even though

1628
01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:49,400
Speaker 3: you know.

1629
01:21:49,360 --> 01:21:51,200
Speaker 6: And I just yeah, you know, And it was very

1630
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:53,960
Speaker 6: as very quick as ray. I was like, man, yeah,

1631
01:21:54,240 --> 01:21:58,040
Speaker 6: welcome to our world. Just you know, so like again,

1632
01:21:58,360 --> 01:22:00,920
Speaker 6: it's further like I'm comfortable with myself. It was not

1633
01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:02,880
Speaker 6: even a question of what it is. I hold space

1634
01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:06,000
Speaker 6: like maybe I maybe I'll be into it in future years.

1635
01:22:06,080 --> 01:22:08,080
Speaker 5: Right now, I'm not there, you know what I'm saying.

1636
01:22:08,080 --> 01:22:10,599
Speaker 5: That ship, that ship was like I was.

1637
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:12,360
Speaker 4: Like, yo, you just had to do it, just had

1638
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:15,160
Speaker 4: to kiss the tip. Even if there's a cheap separated

1639
01:22:16,400 --> 01:22:20,160
Speaker 4: that ship, that's that's ship irritated.

1640
01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,519
Speaker 5: It was cool. Afterwards, I was like, man, don't do

1641
01:22:22,560 --> 01:22:22,880
Speaker 5: that again.

1642
01:22:23,360 --> 01:22:23,680
Speaker 2: You said that.

1643
01:22:23,920 --> 01:22:24,519
Speaker 5: It's like, my bad.

1644
01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:28,680
Speaker 6: I'm like, yeah, you know, you know this is not

1645
01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:30,479
Speaker 6: you know, you planted in the seed. Ain't know that

1646
01:22:30,560 --> 01:22:33,400
Speaker 6: ship that seem's going to die in the ground right there, you.

1647
01:22:33,439 --> 01:22:35,720
Speaker 3: Know, but that's the thing too, about we can get

1648
01:22:35,760 --> 01:22:38,880
Speaker 3: out of here for this, but like being in a

1649
01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:42,720
Speaker 3: like inclusive space where there's all types of sexuality sensualities,

1650
01:22:42,880 --> 01:22:43,200
Speaker 3: it is.

1651
01:22:43,200 --> 01:22:45,240
Speaker 4: Required that everyone respect everyone.

1652
01:22:45,439 --> 01:22:47,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's like I can, and I think sometimes

1653
01:22:48,120 --> 01:22:51,639
Speaker 3: people get like, oh, you're like sometimes people will fuck

1654
01:22:51,680 --> 01:22:52,519
Speaker 3: it up for other people.

1655
01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:55,320
Speaker 1: They think like they listen to your consent and they

1656
01:22:55,360 --> 01:23:00,080
Speaker 1: think that maybe it's shifted because they're feeling energy.

1657
01:23:00,680 --> 01:23:02,720
Speaker 3: Or just like you're not listening to people and because

1658
01:23:02,760 --> 01:23:04,559
Speaker 3: you're welcome here and this is a welcoming space that

1659
01:23:04,640 --> 01:23:07,280
Speaker 3: you are then pushing yourself on me in a way

1660
01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:10,360
Speaker 3: that I've been clear about. And it's like then that's

1661
01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:13,799
Speaker 3: when weird, like energy becomes when there's all these separate

1662
01:23:13,840 --> 01:23:16,760
Speaker 3: parties and shit is because people don't feel comfortable to

1663
01:23:16,840 --> 01:23:19,800
Speaker 3: be present with other people who like differently than them.

1664
01:23:19,880 --> 01:23:22,759
Speaker 6: And again it comes down to understanding that your body

1665
01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:24,799
Speaker 6: is not a vessel for my pleasure and vice versa.

1666
01:23:24,880 --> 01:23:27,840
Speaker 6: And once you understand that, and once you understand enthusiastic consent,

1667
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:31,120
Speaker 6: and when you once you understand like just be forward,

1668
01:23:31,240 --> 01:23:33,559
Speaker 6: be honest, and know how.

1669
01:23:33,479 --> 01:23:34,200
Speaker 5: To take a note.

1670
01:23:34,560 --> 01:23:36,960
Speaker 3: And also if a ball sack touches your side. You know,

1671
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:38,679
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean if.

1672
01:23:38,560 --> 01:23:42,080
Speaker 6: You lay a ballsack on someone's side, then you know

1673
01:23:42,240 --> 01:23:43,679
Speaker 6: somebody may react to men.

1674
01:23:43,760 --> 01:23:46,599
Speaker 1: Don't let that deter you from your woman's pleasure. No, Okay,

1675
01:23:46,760 --> 01:23:50,200
Speaker 1: there might, it might happen, but you know, just say

1676
01:23:50,640 --> 01:23:54,200
Speaker 1: just be Is that a butt plug on your computer? Sorry,

1677
01:23:54,200 --> 01:23:55,360
Speaker 1: I just got really distracted.

1678
01:23:57,240 --> 01:24:00,920
Speaker 6: Also, don't take else for your partner. Oh, don't take

1679
01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:05,200
Speaker 6: don't take else for your partner ever, because resentment.

1680
01:24:05,280 --> 01:24:07,280
Speaker 4: Really, you'll be really resentful.

1681
01:24:07,439 --> 01:24:14,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. Ye, anyway, thank you so much for coming.

1682
01:24:13,880 --> 01:24:16,360
Speaker 6: Thank you for having me. I'm excited and I really

1683
01:24:16,360 --> 01:24:20,080
Speaker 6: want to like, let you know, like it. I'm so

1684
01:24:20,200 --> 01:24:22,599
Speaker 6: glad that that Mandy brought you guys into the space.

1685
01:24:23,760 --> 01:24:26,760
Speaker 6: The energy change when you walked in, and I was like, whoa,

1686
01:24:26,840 --> 01:24:31,520
Speaker 6: there's some powerful motherfuckers in the space. And I appreciate

1687
01:24:31,520 --> 01:24:32,880
Speaker 6: you allowing us this opportunity.

1688
01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:34,960
Speaker 4: Absolutely, we can't wait to come back.

1689
01:24:35,000 --> 01:24:37,240
Speaker 3: And I hope that should we like collaborate on a

1690
01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:38,400
Speaker 3: Susia La party.

1691
01:24:39,360 --> 01:24:41,000
Speaker 6: Let's I want to and I want to make sure

1692
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:45,439
Speaker 6: that we have the structure and support system necessary for

1693
01:24:45,520 --> 01:24:48,360
Speaker 6: people to.

1694
01:24:47,120 --> 01:24:49,160
Speaker 5: To feel safe, all kinds of humans.

1695
01:24:49,479 --> 01:24:52,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're walking in a different, different area, a different place.

1696
01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:55,320
Speaker 2: The vetting process has begun.

1697
01:24:56,920 --> 01:24:59,960
Speaker 5: Ny on, I g get vetted, Get vetted.

1698
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:01,040
Speaker 2: Tell the people where they can find you.

1699
01:25:01,080 --> 01:25:02,800
Speaker 6: It is only at Susie and myself the only place

1700
01:25:02,920 --> 01:25:04,840
Speaker 6: right now, We're going to expand a bit more.

1701
01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:06,280
Speaker 5: We've with intent.

1702
01:25:06,320 --> 01:25:10,599
Speaker 6: We kept small because growth can be painful and growth

1703
01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:12,360
Speaker 6: could also be dangerous, so we want to make sure

1704
01:25:12,400 --> 01:25:15,320
Speaker 6: it's a safe as possible, so get vetted. We have

1705
01:25:16,360 --> 01:25:20,280
Speaker 6: the all women's party run by Susie, a play and

1706
01:25:20,479 --> 01:25:23,760
Speaker 6: Madge the fun sexual. That's gonna happen once a month.

1707
01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:26,519
Speaker 6: No dicks in the building, ladies, it's dope. There's all

1708
01:25:26,560 --> 01:25:28,800
Speaker 6: kinds of beautiful things. We have our regular play party

1709
01:25:28,840 --> 01:25:33,040
Speaker 6: every two weeks, and our dance party will be probably

1710
01:25:34,400 --> 01:25:36,400
Speaker 6: once a month or twice a week until the spring

1711
01:25:36,439 --> 01:25:37,640
Speaker 6: when our backyard opens up.

1712
01:25:38,320 --> 01:25:40,760
Speaker 2: Nice. I got to cume up. I feel like I

1713
01:25:41,120 --> 01:25:41,880
Speaker 2: always come in the winter.

1714
01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:43,439
Speaker 4: I know I want to come to the back.

1715
01:25:45,320 --> 01:25:46,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've even been back there.

1716
01:25:46,439 --> 01:25:49,920
Speaker 6: Backyard is bomb like that shit is fucking a vibe.

1717
01:25:50,720 --> 01:25:53,559
Speaker 2: Well, thank you again and we will be there and

1718
01:25:53,600 --> 01:25:54,880
Speaker 2: you guys where to find us.

1719
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:57,560
Speaker 1: If you saw our retreat commercial in the middle of

1720
01:25:57,600 --> 01:25:59,240
Speaker 1: this episode, make sure you click the link in this

1721
01:25:59,320 --> 01:26:02,439
Speaker 1: episode describe come to the Good Vibratory in Costa Rica.

1722
01:26:02,640 --> 01:26:04,280
Speaker 3: It's in a few weeks. You have a few more

1723
01:26:04,320 --> 01:26:06,599
Speaker 3: weeks to make payments and to come join us. It's

1724
01:26:06,600 --> 01:26:09,960
Speaker 3: a life changing, incredible fucking experience. So if you've been

1725
01:26:10,200 --> 01:26:13,880
Speaker 3: called to come, this is your sign to get your ticket,

1726
01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:18,320
Speaker 3: put down your deposit and join us for a magical, mystical,

1727
01:26:18,960 --> 01:26:22,160
Speaker 3: sexy jungle trip so exciting.

1728
01:26:22,200 --> 01:26:23,439
Speaker 5: I hope you guys have a lot of fun.

1729
01:26:24,120 --> 01:26:27,040
Speaker 1: We always always do. It's a really special It's a

1730
01:26:27,040 --> 01:26:29,040
Speaker 1: special it's a special place. It's not it's not a

1731
01:26:29,080 --> 01:26:32,600
Speaker 1: play party, but it has that vibe of free, vulnerability and.

1732
01:26:32,600 --> 01:26:35,040
Speaker 2: Freedom there the women for the women.

1733
01:26:36,080 --> 01:26:38,879
Speaker 1: Make sure you go rate and review this this episode

1734
01:26:38,920 --> 01:26:41,519
Speaker 1: just us on Apple Podcasts. You guys, please just take

1735
01:26:41,520 --> 01:26:43,599
Speaker 1: a second out of your time right now. If you're

1736
01:26:43,840 --> 01:26:46,400
Speaker 1: an Apple user, go check us out, give us that

1737
01:26:46,439 --> 01:26:49,360
Speaker 1: five star rating. It really matters, especially for black and

1738
01:26:49,439 --> 01:26:54,040
Speaker 1: brown podcast makers, creators, creators. We need those, We need

1739
01:26:54,040 --> 01:26:58,160
Speaker 1: those stars and things of that nature. And you can

1740
01:26:58,160 --> 01:27:00,960
Speaker 1: follow us on Instagram at Good Mom's Underscore Choices. Join

1741
01:27:01,040 --> 01:27:05,160
Speaker 1: Patreon where we release bonus content and a lot of

1742
01:27:05,160 --> 01:27:07,760
Speaker 1: other cool stuff over there, and is that it?

1743
01:27:07,880 --> 01:27:09,439
Speaker 2: Oh, you guys, check out my hat.

1744
01:27:10,640 --> 01:27:14,760
Speaker 4: It's in your merch, a bucket hat for the winter.

1745
01:27:14,880 --> 01:27:18,040
Speaker 2: It's a bucket halt of the winter. It's fuzzy, it's warm,

1746
01:27:18,120 --> 01:27:21,120
Speaker 2: it's cute, it's stylish. If it's all big heads, I

1747
01:27:21,120 --> 01:27:22,719
Speaker 2: got a big ass head with a lot of hair.

1748
01:27:23,080 --> 01:27:24,479
Speaker 2: But you can also tighten it on the inside of

1749
01:27:24,479 --> 01:27:25,519
Speaker 2: if you have a tiny little head.

1750
01:27:25,520 --> 01:27:27,679
Speaker 4: Oh, I didn't tighten it, and let me try that again.

1751
01:27:29,400 --> 01:27:31,040
Speaker 2: Anyway, We'll see you guys next week.

1752
01:27:31,240 --> 01:27:31,559
Speaker 1: Guys.

1753
01:28:00,000 --> 01:28:03,280
Speaker 8: Alagazunia has the sidings a Svin servant