1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: I said this before and I'll say it again. Given 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: birth is the closest you'll get to death, and I'm 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: proof of that this fourth time around. Unfortunately, but I'm 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,799 Speaker 1: here and I've been living to see another day, So 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: thank God for that. Hey. I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. 6 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our 7 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, 8 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one 9 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We 10 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's 11 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk 12 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: about through the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead 13 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: adds is the term that we say every day. So 14 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, 15 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about 16 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: to take pillow talk to a whole new level. Dead 17 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: Ass starts right now. After Codeine gave birth to Dakota, 18 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: I remember saying to her, baby, if you feel anyway, 19 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: in particular, you feel nauseous, headache, something don't feel right, 20 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: open your mouth and tell me. And she was like okay, babe, 21 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: I got you. Fast forward about a week and a 22 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: half later, Codeine is walking in the house and I'm 23 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: just like, hey, baby, all right. She's just like, yeah, 24 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: I just have a headache. And I'm like, well, how 25 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: long have you had this headache? Now? I had a 26 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: headache for a couple of days. So I'm like, all right, well, 27 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: you know, I know sleep deprivation is real, and you 28 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: did just have a baby, so you know, have you 29 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: been drinking water? Have you've been eating? And she's like, 30 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I've been drinking enough. And her 31 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: mom and dad are here, both nurses, was like, yo, 32 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: let me take your your blood pressure. They take Conde's 33 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: blood pressure, and Conde's blood pressure was running pretty high. 34 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: You know, um, you're typically over the entire pregnancy too, 35 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: so at this point her blood pressure was at home 36 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: when we took it as about one forty something over 37 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: eighty something. And this was after you. It took toyling 38 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: on and I remember your dad was just like, you know, 39 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: they won't admit you if your blood pressure isn't super high, 40 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: or they're gonna do is send you back home. And 41 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: I was agreeing with him. I was like you know what, 42 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: maybe we should just set an appointment for tomorrow so 43 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: you can go to the doctor, but you should call 44 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: it to Key and ask her. And you was like, 45 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: I already spoke to to Kia. The Key was like, 46 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: I think you should go to the ear and I 47 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: was just like, well, it's a kid says we're going 48 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 1: to the ear, We're going to the ar. At the 49 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: same time, I had to take Jackson to basketball practice, 50 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: so Conne was just like typical black mom mode, you 51 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: could take them to basketball practice first and then you 52 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: can come back. So I was like, all right, cool, 53 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: that will take me ten minutes. Then she said what 54 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: time is it. I said, oh, basketball practices at seven, 55 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: will be done at eight. And she was like, well, 56 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: what about sisters. Sisters come on tonight. I don't want 57 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: you to miss sisters. I'm like, I'm not worried about 58 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: this damn TV show. And your stylist was coming to 59 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: style you for the Soul Train Awards. All of this, 60 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: all of this was happening, mean while the kid was like, uh, 61 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: send me pictures of your feet because my feet were swollen. 62 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: Mind you. They went down after I had Dakoda, but 63 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: they were back up again and the headache and the 64 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: blood pressure. So I said, we're not going to know that. 65 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to drop Jackson to practice. I'm not staying 66 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: the whole time, and we're going to the hospital. We 67 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: get to the hospital, I'm in there for about fifteen minutes. 68 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: They check her or whatever. They come back out and 69 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: the nurse looks at me and says, Mr. Rellis, we're 70 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:22,039 Speaker 1: gonna have to admit your wife. I was like, why, 71 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 1: what's the matter? Your blood pressure at that time was 72 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: one seventy over And I was like, okay, is she 73 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: going to be okay? And she was just like, we hope. 74 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 1: So I've sang this song before. I want to sing 75 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: it again because it's the truth. M It's a song 76 00:04:53,440 --> 00:05:01,119 Speaker 1: that I proposed to Cadeem two ah song. Even though 77 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 1: it seems I have everything, I don't want to be alone, live, food, 78 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 1: all of the women, all the expensive cars, all of 79 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: the money don't amount to you and make me leave everything. 80 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: But I can't evertend that. I don't see that without you, 81 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 1: my life is in complete. Oh, We're gonna take a 82 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 1: break and we'll be back. So I'm gonna jump back 83 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: into story time to just give you all a little 84 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: bit of my perspective of what was happening. UM, because 85 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,559 Speaker 1: I think a lot of times as moms, um, black 86 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: moms in particular, we just keep it moving, we keep 87 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: it pushing. We may feel a thing or to and 88 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: disregarded as, oh, it's just a little something. Oh I'm 89 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: going to sleep this off, which is some of the 90 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 1: worst things that we can even think about doing, um 91 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: when we don't feel our best now. At first, when 92 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: I felt the things I was feeling, I literally just 93 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: chalked it up to, girl, you just had a baby 94 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: nine days ago, so you're going to be feeling the things. Right. 95 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 1: You may have a headache because your breastfeeding, are you 96 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: drinking enough water, sleep deprivation, Like Devo said, Um, there's 97 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: so many reasons as to why I could have had 98 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: a headache. Um, but the headache was persistent over like 99 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 1: the course of a day or two. Taking Thailand all 100 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: wouldn't really it would maybe dull the pain a tiny bit, 101 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: but it was like a pounding, throbbing that I had 102 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: in the same spot. And um, sleeping it off wasn't 103 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: working at this point. And my midwife at this point, 104 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,599 Speaker 1: had she had gone back home, she left home on 105 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: like the Sunday, I was having this this tension headache, 106 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 1: which is what I thought. It was Tuesday into Wednesday 107 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: and she was still touching bass with me, which I loved. Um, 108 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: just to make sure that we were okay in her absence. 109 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: So I mentioned this headache just leisurely in conversation with her, 110 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: and she was like, oh, a headache. She's like, well, 111 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: you know, you have to let me know when you 112 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: have things like a headache. The same thing Devout said, 113 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: So it's a girl. Was just a little headache. You know, 114 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: I'm tired, you know, baby has me up, I have 115 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: the three boys. Devout like, it's just a lot going on. Um, 116 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: And she said, you know anything else you're feeling She said, 117 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,559 Speaker 1: any swelling. So it's like she knew the questions to ask. 118 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: So I said, well, yeah, my hands and my feet 119 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: are a little swollen. Um, they've gone up more since 120 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: I've had Dakota. And she said, when's the last time 121 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: you check your blood pressure? Are you having any pain 122 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: in your upper abdomen under your rib? Like very specific questions. 123 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 1: So I said, no pain in my abdomen, no nausea. 124 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: She said, do you have blurred vision? Are you seeing spots? Mom? 125 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: I said, no, I do feel a little groggy, but 126 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: I think it's maybe just the headache. So she says, 127 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: your mom there, tell her to check your blood pressure. 128 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: So my dad gets the blood pressure coff he has 129 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: an electric one, and we check it with the electric 130 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: blood pressure machine and it was one over one oh 131 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: one right. So I'm like, oh, this is clearly not wrong. 132 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: You know, sometimes it's electric. Things don't work properly. I'm 133 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: not right this, you know it's not right. Um, these 134 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: you know, machines don't work sometimes. So my mom got 135 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: the manual blood pressure cuff and at this point it 136 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: was like over, which was still very high for me. 137 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: My entire pregnancy, my entire life, all pregnancies have always 138 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: had stellar blood pressure, so this is very not cadine. 139 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: So at that point of Key said, I think you 140 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: need to go to the er just to get checked out, 141 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 1: blood work, you're in things like that. She didn't seem alarmed, 142 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: so I kind of just took it as okay, well, 143 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: at some point I can get to the hospital or 144 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 1: the doctor or somewhere so they can check me out further. Um. 145 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: But then she was a little bit more persistent. She said. 146 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: Blood pressure is one of those things that you know, 147 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: can just very in spur the moment elevate or drop, 148 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: and it can cause things like seizure, stroke, death, you know. 149 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: So at that point I was like, all right, you know, 150 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: I still feel okay, I can manage. Um. Develot has 151 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: his stylists come into the house. I want to see 152 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: what he's worried to the Sole Trade Awards. Jackson has 153 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: basketball practice dinner. Um, it's Wednesday, persisters like, there's things 154 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: happening today. So I eventually get there maybe tomorrow. But 155 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: then something in me it was just like you know, 156 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: a kidein. I think you should just go get checked out. 157 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: I was also thinking about Dakota nursing breastfeeding exclusively. Now, 158 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 1: so how am I going to feed him in the ear? 159 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: I'm not taking him to the e er where there's 160 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: still COVID and all the things happening. Um. But something 161 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: just told me to go. Um. So Devot got me 162 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 1: in the car, went to the e er. UM was 163 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: in triage. My blood pressure at this point was over 164 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: like um. They instantly took me to the back and 165 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: started me with an ivy like there were a couple 166 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 1: of people rushing in, so I'm like, oh, this is 167 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: something serious at this point now, um, And they called 168 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: down a doctor from the O B G N Unit 169 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: and she pretty much told me, you know, miss Ellis, 170 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: we're afraid that you are showing symptoms of postpartum preclampsha 171 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: and um, I didn't even know that was a thing. 172 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: I was like, what is that? What is postpartum? Like? 173 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: You hear about it during pregnancy. Yeah, you hear about 174 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: it during pregnancy. What you never never hear about it after? 175 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 1: So she at that point was giving me some facts 176 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 1: that she said, up to six weeks after having a baby, 177 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: you can experience symptoms or the signs of postpartum preclampsha. 178 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 1: And I totally did not know there was a thing. 179 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: Um Ta Kia had kind of said that sounded like 180 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,839 Speaker 1: what I had, but she wasn't sure. But they pretty 181 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: much at that point said I was showing the symptoms 182 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 1: of that, and before I started to exhibit any more 183 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 1: symptoms like the blurred vision or the pain under my 184 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 1: rib cage, they wanted to make sure they got that 185 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,599 Speaker 1: under control, so they said they'd be admitting me to 186 00:10:55,800 --> 00:11:00,679 Speaker 1: Labor and Delivery Unit. UM instant tears, um in the back, 187 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,960 Speaker 1: sobbing um so. The doctors trying to console me. She 188 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 1: was really sweet and she said, you know, what are 189 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: you worried about? Let me know how you're feeling. So 190 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 1: I said to her, my baby first and foremost, like 191 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: I don't have him. I'm going to have to be 192 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: in the hospital without from for howls. Who knows how long. Um, 193 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: you know, I'm still nursing. I just had that that 194 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: that anxiety about leaving him. I wasn't even worried about 195 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: myself at that point. I was more worried about my baby. 196 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: And then I'm like, I have three other kids at home, 197 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,079 Speaker 1: my husband is going about to go film he has 198 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: like I'm thinking about everybody else. And she said all that, 199 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,199 Speaker 1: I'm sure we'll get taken care of, but I'm purposely 200 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: putting you on a labor and deliver unit so you 201 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: can bring your baby to the hospital here and he 202 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,559 Speaker 1: can stay with you and your husband can stay with you. 203 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: So instantly I was feeling better. I said, Okay, that 204 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: makes me feel a lot better. She said, however, you're 205 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: going to have to be on magnesium sulf fate for 206 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: twenty four hours. She said, I just want to let 207 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 1: you know that it's a pretty nasty drug. Um, you're 208 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: not gonna feel really great on it. But what it 209 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: does is it pretty much raises the threshold for you 210 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,439 Speaker 1: to potentially have a seizure. So if your blood pressure 211 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: typically or is running say two hundred over for example, 212 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,079 Speaker 1: and that seizure level, what the magnesium sulfate does is 213 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: it raises the threshold to maybe two forty over one thirty, 214 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 1: So that way, if your blood pressure does happen to raise, 215 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: you won't see. So it's a great and she said, 216 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 1: and it may and also help your blood pressure regulate 217 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,439 Speaker 1: and come back down as well. Um. At this point 218 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: I had a splitting headache. I never had a migraine before, 219 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: but I feel like that was probably migraine level headache. Um. 220 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 1: They gave me a dose of the magnesium sulfate that 221 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,679 Speaker 1: was concentrated as I was leaving the e R because 222 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: they were so concerned about my pressure. And at that 223 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: point I called the Vale and told him I was 224 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: going to be in this hospital. I didn't know how long. 225 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: They said, may before two or three nights until things 226 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: were regulated, but I could bring the baby, so I 227 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: had him pack to coda up. My mom gave him 228 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: whatever breast milk I pumped at home, UM to hold 229 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 1: him over till he got to me. And then Devot 230 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 1: came of course, prepared to spend the night and UM, 231 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: I was admitted on Labor and Delivery unit. I was 232 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: watched around the clock that magnesium sulfate, that concentrated version 233 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 1: that they gave me. I felt super loopy. UM, I 234 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: felt hot. I felt like, oh my god, my baby's coming. 235 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 1: How am I supposed to take care of him while 236 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 1: being on this drug? UM, But I also knew that 237 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 1: was concentrated, so but they gave me over the course 238 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: of twenty four hours. After that was still had me 239 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: feeling a little messed up, but at least I had 240 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: to vow close by it so kind of assist, especially 241 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:41,319 Speaker 1: overnight with the baby and UM, it was a scary 242 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 1: time for me. UM. I don't know if it was 243 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: the sedation or what it was, but at some points 244 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,439 Speaker 1: Devout had to leave to go, you know, either take 245 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: the kids to him from school or to just go 246 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: home and tend to some business. UM. And there were 247 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 1: several moments that I was in the hospital room just 248 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: like in tears because you hear so many times about 249 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: my having successful deliveries and then a couple of days later, 250 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: some complication arose. Um yeah, and yourhysms just yeah, infections. 251 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: There's certainly so many different reasons why things like that happened. 252 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: So I was just literally in tears because I'm just 253 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: like thinking to myself, a what if I die in 254 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: this hospital bed with my baby here? Um, I have 255 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: four boys and a husband to get back home to, Like, 256 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 1: I can't die. Um. But in that moment, you just 257 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: feel so terrible. That's probably the worst that I've ever 258 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 1: felt after I probably ever the worst that I felt physically. Um. 259 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: And then you're wondering about recovery that I'm wondering is 260 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: blood pressure and hypertension going to be a chronic issue 261 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: for me now at this point after having you know, 262 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: the postpartum preclampsha um. And then I had a really 263 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: sweet nurse that came in I think her name was Carlin, 264 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 1: and she was actively she was another system. So she 265 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: and I kind of vibe and she was like, girl, 266 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna try to find a way to 267 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 1: get rid of this headache for you. So at first, 268 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: they were just giving me thailan all or i'd be 269 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: profen um, and they were, you know, given me after 270 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: every four hours or something, and then she said, I'm 271 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: gonna give you thailean al and then after an hour 272 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: give you hyperprofin and try to kind of see if 273 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 1: the tag team will help to get rid of the 274 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: headache for you, because I also felt like I couldn't 275 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: function having this migraine, and UM, that was the one 276 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 1: thing that actually worked. Towards the end of the twenty 277 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: four hours, I didn't have the headache as much anymore, 278 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 1: as I started to kind of feel a little bit better, 279 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: though still groggy on the magnesium sulfate. UM, my blood 280 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: pressure was eventually starting to come down UM still not 281 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: quite to my normal level, but it was at least 282 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: reacting to the medication, which was a good sign. And 283 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 1: the plan when I spoke to the doctors leaving or 284 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: being prepared to be discharged was if my blood pressure 285 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: was under control, I would be on one pill a 286 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: day for the next thirty days UM and then going 287 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: to see them after that to be able to get 288 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 1: a check up and just see what the plan in 289 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: course of action would be after that. UM. But in 290 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,720 Speaker 1: that moment, well, it was the moment before that. I 291 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: remember you said I'm gonna go take a shower before 292 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 1: I go to the hospital. And I came into the 293 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: bathroom and you stepped out of the shower and I 294 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: looked at you and I was like, what's the matter. 295 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: And you just broke down, start of crying, and you're like, 296 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 1: I'm scared. And I was scared too. But once again, 297 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 1: and I always talk about this, my body's not going 298 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 1: through anything in that moment. I can't show you that 299 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: I'm scared. In that moment, I have to act as 300 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 1: if everything is gonna be fine, and as if I 301 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 1: know everything is going to be fine, even though I 302 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: was thinking the same thing I swear, I swear to 303 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: God could be. I was like, is this going to 304 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 1: be one of those moments where I take my wife 305 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 1: to the hospital, I come back to check on my kids, 306 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: took them in at night, and I get a phone 307 00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: call then my wife didn't make it. And that's why 308 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 1: I like, like listen, like even singing incomplete fuck said 309 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,439 Speaker 1: this to you before. This ship does not work without you, 310 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: It doesn't work. And whenever you ask a woman to 311 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:26,440 Speaker 1: have your child, it sounds cliche, but it's a life 312 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 1: or death proposition, and you wanted to always just be 313 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:36,440 Speaker 1: about life. But we know people who've lost their wife. Yeah, 314 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: you know, during labor and after labor. So I'm trying 315 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: to keep like a positive spirit. On top of that, 316 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 1: our kids are very empathetic. Jackson is like where you're 317 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: going with mommy, And I'm like, oh, she just you know, 318 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 1: trying to be you know, the rock. You know, she 319 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: gotta gona get checked up in hospital. She's gonna be 320 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 1: right back, bro. And I wasn't expecting to have them 321 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: check you in, and so I was like, she's gonna 322 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 1: be admitted. So now I got to come home and 323 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: explain to Jackson, why are you staying in the hospital. 324 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: So during all of this time, I'm like I'm walking around, 325 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 1: you know. You know, he's fine, right, But every ride 326 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: from the house to the hospital, and I took several 327 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 1: a day because I went to bring Jackson to practice, 328 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 1: then I went to check on you, and I went 329 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,919 Speaker 1: back to get food and I got the colder, then 330 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: I brought him back. Every ride in between was like 331 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 1: tears because I'm like, it's gonna sound fucked up, but 332 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: I'm like this woman better be okay. I'm gonna kill her. 333 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 1: That's all I kept saying to myself is my wife 334 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,199 Speaker 1: is a thug and she better be all right, Like 335 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: she better be all right? And then um, before I 336 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 1: got into you. Of course, you know, I always speak 337 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: to the nurses. I don't want to speak to them, 338 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 1: went in front of you because I want to know 339 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,239 Speaker 1: the real and the nurse said to me, you know, 340 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: there what there is a chance that you could have 341 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: your wife could have went to bed and seized in 342 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: her sleep and you wake up and then she's no 343 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 1: longer with you. You know, there's there's so many things 344 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 1: that happened with blood pressure and headaches, and when it 345 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: comes to your wife, it's like nothing else matters, you 346 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,959 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, except for the kids. And then 347 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,159 Speaker 1: when you're trying to be all in for your wife 348 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 1: and then you get a text for me your son, 349 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,439 Speaker 1: it's like hey dad, you're gonna do this, It's like fuck, 350 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. At that in that moment, 351 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,280 Speaker 1: it was just like what do I what do? I 352 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 1: felt helpless, like who's there for you too? Because I'm 353 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,920 Speaker 1: normally the one to be like me bring it in, baby, 354 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 1: bring it in, you know. But um, but that one 355 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 1: time you came to see me at the hospital, I 356 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 1: think it was like the second day. I was definitely 357 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 1: very suday it under the drug, remember, and Dakota was asleep, 358 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 1: I think on me. And when you walked in, of course, 359 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: it was a sense of relief because I always felt 360 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: better when you were there. And I literally just had 361 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: like tears. I think both of us were just oh 362 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 1: my god, what's happening right now? Um. But I did 363 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 1: speak to the doctor unexpected, and he made me feel 364 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 1: at ease. He was like Mr Ellis, like women go 365 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 1: through this. She's on a drug that she won't see. 366 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: At that point, your pressure had went down and it 367 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: was like in the low one eighties and he was like, 368 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 1: this isn't the danger zone. And I think it was 369 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 1: like it was like one eight to me was high 370 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 1: for you, but was like a little high, am. And 371 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,360 Speaker 1: he was just like, twenty four hours, her pressure will 372 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 1: be down, should be able to go home. And hearing 373 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: from the doctor and they were great, you know, they 374 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 1: were great, and the nurses, it made me feel like 375 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,680 Speaker 1: I don't have to worry about that. But deep down 376 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: and there's always that, you know. They always say everything 377 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: is fine until it's not fine, and then it's like, well, 378 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 1: what happened, Oh there was a complication. I was going 379 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: through all of that, and I gotta say this to 380 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 1: you now and to all the listeners who are listening. 381 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 1: When your wife says she has a headache but she 382 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: don't feel good, don't hit her with the super mom answer. Oh, 383 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 1: you're not the first woman to have a baby. You 384 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,160 Speaker 1: tire and go take a nap. You really feel bad, 385 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,400 Speaker 1: Let's go get it checked out. Because going to get 386 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 1: it checked out in that moment, it's the only reason 387 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: why you're here, because you and I both tend to 388 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: do that. I'll be fine, I'll take a time, I'll 389 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,919 Speaker 1: go to sleep. Oh I'll be fine. I'll just go 390 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: take a nap. I need to eat something. I know 391 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 1: I do that as well. And Black men are known 392 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 1: for not trusting the system when it comes to medical professionals, 393 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: and we're known for saying putting things off because we 394 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: don't want to go to the hospital. But this moment 395 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:04,440 Speaker 1: was perspective for me because I'm not a medical professional, 396 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 1: and here I am would have told my wife to 397 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,679 Speaker 1: lay down in the bed and take a nap, and 398 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:14,040 Speaker 1: then then what you know what I'm saying. So I 399 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 1: was upset at myself. I was even upset at you 400 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: for a little bit because you said you had had 401 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 1: a headache for a couple of days, And I'm saying 402 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 1: to myself, why do we let it get to a 403 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,960 Speaker 1: couple of days and now an emergency? We could have 404 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: checked this beforehand. And it's important for us to share 405 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: because think about how many moms lives were lost because 406 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,919 Speaker 1: they just felt like they didn't want to say something 407 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 1: they didn't want to nag, and how many dealing with it, 408 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: just dealing with it, how many fathers were being tough 409 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: guys because I know I've said to you before and 410 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 1: it's gonna make me sound like a douche bag, but 411 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: I've said this to you before. Your mom had three kids, 412 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,199 Speaker 1: My mom had three kids. You act like you're the 413 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 1: only woman that had kids. Sometimes you know what I'm saying, 414 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,400 Speaker 1: and it it makes you realize, like, fuck, like how 415 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,360 Speaker 1: many times there is a woman here that and say, 416 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to say anything because I 417 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,439 Speaker 1: don't want to feel like I'm not woman enough to 418 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,119 Speaker 1: do this job. And then don't wake up. We're not 419 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,359 Speaker 1: realizing that every pregnancy is legit different. Like when people 420 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 1: say that every pregnancy is different, every child is different. 421 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: It's so true because no two pregnancies are like in 422 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,199 Speaker 1: the same woman. Think about all the different routes that 423 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 1: we've had. O, you have four kids now. Two kids 424 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 1: were perfect, like ideal situations, and to the bookends were emergencies. 425 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,439 Speaker 1: One was emergency surgery to prevent you from hemorrhaging, and 426 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: the other one you had to get on magnesium to 427 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 1: prevent you from seizing season. This is the same woman, 428 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 1: four different kids, and for this pregnancy in particular, it's 429 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 1: not like we were doing anything out of the ordinary. 430 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,440 Speaker 1: You were in your best diet, your best spiritual place, 431 00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: your best monetary space, or your best financial space. We 432 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 1: were in the best space emotionally. We've been connected. You 433 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,479 Speaker 1: were working out up until the last week, so you 434 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,880 Speaker 1: literally did everything perfect and then for this to take 435 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 1: a turn like that shows you that there's there's no 436 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: answer for when it's going to happen and when it's 437 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 1: not going to happen. So I really want to let 438 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: men know and women know when when that woman says, hey, something, 439 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 1: don't feel right, don't take chances, absolutely not, especially um 440 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: when it comes to pregnancy and like post partum um. 441 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 1: It's estimated that up to sixty of maternal complications are preventable, 442 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:43,120 Speaker 1: and with preventable complications that result in death disproportionately affecting 443 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,320 Speaker 1: Black women. The best way that we can save lives 444 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,239 Speaker 1: is by talking about our own experiences like we are 445 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: now with serious complications during and after pregnancy and childbirth. 446 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 1: UM so the most common, so we throw around them 447 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: the term preclamption. That's pretty much when you're blood sure, 448 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 1: it's elevated, and typically during pregnancy. From what I understand, 449 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,880 Speaker 1: it's due to the placenta UM and they people who 450 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 1: suffer from preclamption normally have earlier babies, so they may 451 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,160 Speaker 1: deliver early UM, probably by c section, because they want 452 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: to get the placenter out UM. So that's why it 453 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 1: was something that kind of threw us for a loop 454 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,879 Speaker 1: because I'm like, Okay, this is not based on a 455 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 1: placenta because I no longer have my placenta, but my madiboset. 456 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,719 Speaker 1: It can happen because of just hormonal changes. And it's 457 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 1: important because I remember, I'm not sure if it was 458 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 1: the nurse who was telling us, or if it was 459 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,119 Speaker 1: the key, but there was a term she used. I 460 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,439 Speaker 1: think it was called toxemia or toxemia, I can't remember. 461 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 1: What they were saying. Is when the placenta is developing, 462 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 1: sometimes the body sees it as a foreign object and 463 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: it rejects the placenta, which can cause these type of complications, 464 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,919 Speaker 1: which means it doesn't matter if you're in perfect health 465 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 1: or you're in the worst health. If your body doesn't 466 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,440 Speaker 1: receive the placenta growing the proper way, you can have 467 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: preclamps you and it can be an issue. You should 468 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 1: always look for the signs, you know what I'm saying, 469 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 1: so that you can be prepared when something like this happens, because, 470 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: like Taquilla said, your blood pressure is fine and everything 471 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 1: is fine until it's not. And when you get to 472 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: blood pressure and headaches, it can happen in the in 473 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:21,639 Speaker 1: the split of the second exactly exactly. So. Preclam shot 474 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: is um a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure 475 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,919 Speaker 1: and signs of damage to the other order systems like 476 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: the liver and the kidneys, which is why they were 477 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 1: asking me if I had any kind of issues or pain, 478 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 1: you know, under my rib cage on my upper stomach, 479 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,159 Speaker 1: because I believe that's where the liver is. UM. It 480 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 1: usually begins after twenty weeks of pregnancy and women whose 481 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: high blood pressure is typically normal, which would have been 482 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 1: me UM. So if you leave it untreated, it could 483 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: be fatal for the mom and the baby. That's why 484 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 1: normally they'll have to take the baby earlier and then 485 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: the baby would have to be in the Nike you. 486 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 1: Postpartum preclampshot is a rare condition that occurs when you 487 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,159 Speaker 1: have high blood pressure or excess protein in your urine 488 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 1: soon after childbirth. For me, it happened nine days after 489 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,159 Speaker 1: UM if you develop it within most cases people develop 490 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,880 Speaker 1: it within forty eight hours after childbirth, which why which 491 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 1: is why for me it was so different, because it 492 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 1: can't develop up to six weeks after. But for me 493 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,639 Speaker 1: it was, like I said, the nine days UM. It 494 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 1: requires prompt treatment. If you leave it untreated, it can 495 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: cause seizures or other serious complications. Signs and symptoms are 496 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,720 Speaker 1: high blood pressure UM greater than one forty over ninety. 497 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 1: So if mine was in the house here at like 498 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,439 Speaker 1: what was it one over one oh one and then 499 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:37,360 Speaker 1: at the hospital over ninety which is pretty high. UM, 500 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,119 Speaker 1: excess protein in your urine, severe headaches, which was what 501 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,399 Speaker 1: I also felt. UM changes in vision, which is like 502 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 1: a loss of vision, possibly sensitivity to light is what 503 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: I had. Not necessarily blurred vision, UM painting your upper 504 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,160 Speaker 1: belly under your ribs on the right side, UH, shortness 505 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 1: of breath, decrease urine or nausea, and vomiting. So one 506 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 1: thing they were checking for was my urine output. So 507 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 1: I remember had I had a little like bowl in 508 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 1: the toilet that I had to pee, and so Devout 509 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,679 Speaker 1: cames and came in before the nurses did. He'd be like, damn, 510 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 1: you had you on I V so we knew you 511 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,879 Speaker 1: were gonna You know, they want to make sure that 512 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,359 Speaker 1: they're measuring how much you're and you're expelling, which is 513 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: you know. But but this is also another reason why 514 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:25,879 Speaker 1: I was so concerned about being present during the birth 515 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,440 Speaker 1: and immediately after the birth, because you miss things when 516 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 1: you're producing, you know what I'm saying. When you're trying 517 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 1: to create content or make a moment or manufactural moment 518 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 1: or capture moment, sometimes you missed the moment. And I 519 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 1: know this time around with us being older and you 520 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:47,239 Speaker 1: considered being geriatric based on just your age. I just 521 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 1: wanted to be aware. I wanted to be able to 522 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 1: look in your eyes and not focus on anything else 523 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: but you, you know, And I've noticed some people would 524 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,720 Speaker 1: be like, oh, you guys don't post as much or 525 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 1: you know, we haven't been able to see the God 526 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,959 Speaker 1: to yet, and it's because we've been focusing on being alive, 527 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And I appreciate that people 528 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: are so invested in seeing us and being a part 529 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: of the process, but it is also very important during 530 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 1: these times to be in the moment. Like you can't 531 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 1: capture and produce everything. Sometimes you just gotta live. And 532 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,760 Speaker 1: I honestly feel like if you and I weren't living 533 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 1: and being aware of each other, we could have missed that. 534 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,480 Speaker 1: And if you missed that, then you miss out on life. 535 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 1: You're absolutely think about it. I probably would have been 536 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,720 Speaker 1: capturing you having Shari here styling you for the Awards show. 537 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: That was another layer to it. Diva was supposed to 538 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,960 Speaker 1: be leaving that Friday morning to go to New York 539 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,120 Speaker 1: for the Soul tryin Awards. I knew I wasn't going 540 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,240 Speaker 1: to be attending, of course, because we just had the baby, 541 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 1: and your mom was going and I know she was 542 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: super looking forward to being there with you, and Deva 543 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,480 Speaker 1: was ready to shut the whole ship down and be like, 544 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: I'm not going to New York. And then of course me, 545 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, you have to go. Your mom is looking 546 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: forward to it. I want her to experience against that. 547 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: You know, it would be a nice moment for you, guys, 548 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 1: a nice moment for you to present your first time. Um. 549 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,479 Speaker 1: And if I was like, hey, I'm not leaving you 550 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: and until I know what is going on here, And 551 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,320 Speaker 1: I didn't tell my mom purposely what you're going through, 552 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 1: because you know what she would have said, stay here 553 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: exactly exactly. I didn't tell my mom. I knew she 554 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: would have been like, well, we're not we're not doing 555 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: so crying train, can wait to train, can leave without 556 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: us the next train, exactly what she would have said. 557 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: I And then she ended up calling anyway, and I 558 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:30,840 Speaker 1: had to tell her where I was because she was 559 00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 1: just like, hey, man, why are you checking on me? 560 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 1: And I'm like I'm in the hospital, babe. Um. You know. 561 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: So there were just so many things going on, but 562 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 1: like like Devo said, we could have missed something if 563 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: we just weren't in tune, if I wasn't in tune 564 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: with my body, if and then I even reached out 565 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: to my sister and I was like, sorry, what do 566 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,280 Speaker 1: you think her being a nurse, And she's like, well, 567 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 1: the Kia never overreacts. She's always level headed, and she 568 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: always gives the best advice, and she knows your body 569 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 1: really well. And I think you need to go and 570 00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: do what she said and go to the er, because 571 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 1: she too was concerned with my high blood pressure. So 572 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 1: I'm glad that we did um that in that moment, because, 573 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: like I said, I was able to live to see 574 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: another day. And I'm glad you're here in days after 575 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 1: and I'm and I'm still watching you every day. You 576 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 1: ask every day I set my alarm, set my alarm, 577 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: I wake up? Did you take your blood pressure medicine? 578 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: Did you every morning? Blood pressure? Like white on right? Look, 579 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,640 Speaker 1: look what you asked down here. If y'all can't see, 580 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,640 Speaker 1: if you're listening, if I got my blood pressure cuff 581 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: right here, I've been here, like look, put your son 582 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 1: in your ass and now I'll see. I'm like a 583 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 1: nurse now because I know what to do. I put 584 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 1: that on right, like, hold it up to your heart. Wow, 585 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 1: I want to know. I call it. At the middle 586 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 1: of the day, I call on, like, how you're feeling. 587 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 1: I know how you had a feeling. What's your broad pressure? 588 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 1: I ain't checking in a while, we'll go check it. Well, 589 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 1: I gotta stop what you're doing. Check your blood pressure. 590 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,120 Speaker 1: That's just what we are right now. That's it, that's 591 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,360 Speaker 1: what we're on. Literally. So once I was finally released, Um, 592 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 1: I told him. I was like to the Soul Train Awards. 593 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 1: We knew that I was gonna be okay. We spoke 594 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: to the doctor. I felt confident. He felt confident that 595 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 1: everything would be okay. And I was like, you gotta 596 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 1: catch your flight to New York because crystals waiting on you, 597 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: Your mom was waiting on you. Y'all have to get 598 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,520 Speaker 1: this stuff done. Um. Teams of team up all day 599 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 1: every day. So I wanted to make sure that y'all 600 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:28,960 Speaker 1: were good. Um, once you knew that I was good, 601 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 1: And of course I had my mom and dad here, 602 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,719 Speaker 1: you know, shout out to them for always holding down 603 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,080 Speaker 1: the fort. So they had the kids in order. Um, 604 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 1: they were able to pick up the CODA and I 605 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 1: from the hospital. I got back home and was able 606 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: to rest. So now y'all know the story because some people, 607 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,080 Speaker 1: some people, people who know us, it's like if that 608 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 1: looks tired, right, And just so you know, Soul Trained 609 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 1: Awards was Saturday, well, Saturday night, Wednesday night, codein and 610 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 1: codeine got it into the hospital. I didn't sleep all 611 00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 1: day Wednesday into Thursday. Woke up, came home, worked out, 612 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 1: had some rehearsals, got the kids from school, went back 613 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 1: to the hospital, mad shred everything, came back home, did 614 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,320 Speaker 1: everything again for the kids at night. Went and stayed 615 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 1: in the hospital Thursday night. Slept on that little ass, 616 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 1: thin ass mattress they have for me Thursday and too Friday, 617 00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 1: and then Friday morning I had to catch a seven 618 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:23,760 Speaker 1: am flight, got got to uh New York, had to 619 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,400 Speaker 1: do my fittings and everything for that Friday nights. At 620 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 1: Friday night, I didn't sleep because I was anxiety. Kadine 621 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 1: and I ended up what happened Friday night and we 622 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: had argument Friday night. You remember that, Yes, we did 623 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:43,280 Speaker 1: argument Friday night. This is another thing. Okay, want to 624 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,880 Speaker 1: fight with me? You was picking a fight. She she's 625 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,320 Speaker 1: I told I didn't want to go. I said, I'm 626 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 1: not going. I'm not going. I'm not going, right. So 627 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,240 Speaker 1: then I go to New York to go to Soul 628 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 1: Train and I ended up meeting Um. I can't I 629 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: can't talk about it because it's something that that's going 630 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,080 Speaker 1: to come out later. I end up meeting someone for 631 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,360 Speaker 1: a new opportunity. So I get back to my hotel 632 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: room and I cocain. Now I'm all excited, and she's 633 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,240 Speaker 1: just like oh, and I'm like what you mean by oh? 634 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 1: And then um, I had bought a new coat because 635 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,319 Speaker 1: being in Atlanta, it's not as cold as it is 636 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,200 Speaker 1: as it is in New York, so I wouldn't got 637 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 1: me new coats. And back in New York and this November, 638 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,120 Speaker 1: and I say, he's like my coat and she's just like, 639 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,480 Speaker 1: I hope you're not wearing all that jewel rasing no 640 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,440 Speaker 1: football game, and I'm like, yo, what is the matter 641 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,920 Speaker 1: with you? I didn't stay with my neck and everything 642 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 1: like that is putting. I couldn't even move my neck 643 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 1: to be able to do any of that either because 644 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 1: my head was hurting me. I literally just said, I 645 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,359 Speaker 1: hope you're not going to that football game with all 646 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: that jewelry on. That's how you think you said it. 647 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,520 Speaker 1: You just admitted to the people that you was on 648 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,920 Speaker 1: mad medication and was loopy. Now you're gonna tell me 649 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,840 Speaker 1: you were cognizant to know how your neck was moving. 650 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,080 Speaker 1: This man, I was moving with a headache. I was 651 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 1: off the medication at this point, y'all was at this point. 652 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,880 Speaker 1: I was of sound judgment at this point, I was 653 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,319 Speaker 1: no longer no Ivy drip. I knew I was home. 654 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,640 Speaker 1: I knew what was happening. Ivy was still coming down, 655 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,000 Speaker 1: drip dripping your in your body. What you're talking about. 656 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: I was home at this point. I was home at 657 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 1: this point because then was picking a fight with me 658 00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 1: because in her wanting to be supportive as a wife, 659 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,400 Speaker 1: she wasn't saying what she really needed. Because what you 660 00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,719 Speaker 1: really needed was what say it? I wanted you to 661 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 1: stay home with me, thank you. And that's my point, right, 662 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 1: this is my point. When you need when you need something, conflicted, no, no, no, no, 663 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,759 Speaker 1: when you need something, you have to say what you need. 664 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 1: You can't say what you think is right in that moment. 665 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 1: Then when I do that, get upset at me because 666 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 1: you're not getting what you need. That's psychological warfare, like 667 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,480 Speaker 1: a psychological terrorist. I really, it's not like I was 668 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,520 Speaker 1: upset with you. I wasn't upset that you were going there. 669 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 1: I was just like, I still wanted you to be 670 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 1: with me. Absolutely felt sad and a little bit absolutely 671 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 1: because I wanted to be back home after being in 672 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: the hospital for three days. I wanted to be home 673 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,480 Speaker 1: and in bed and cuddling with you, and you just 674 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: weren't there. And it was absolutely justified. But but you're 675 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 1: feeling like that, it's absolutely justified, which is why when 676 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,120 Speaker 1: I asked you, like, but I'm gonna stay, you should 677 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,480 Speaker 1: justifiably say how you feel, not say what you think 678 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,120 Speaker 1: is right in the moment. Know when you feel something different, 679 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,759 Speaker 1: I know, but then I don't. I didn't want to 680 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,000 Speaker 1: take away everything was so much about me for the 681 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,360 Speaker 1: past but everything has been about me for the past 682 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,399 Speaker 1: year with this baby, I feel like, so I felt 683 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,239 Speaker 1: like this was a moment where it was about you 684 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: and it needed to be about you, and I wanted 685 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,879 Speaker 1: you to be able to experience this for the first time. 686 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,760 Speaker 1: So I put my feelings aside and I said, Babe, 687 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:29,799 Speaker 1: I want you to go. You'll see what I'm saying. 688 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 1: But I really want you to din't. We just say. 689 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,840 Speaker 1: We just say it's important for women when they're feeling 690 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 1: a certain way to be open and honest with their 691 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:43,000 Speaker 1: partner about how they feel right now. But physically skinny 692 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 1: did We can't try to tell people the proper way 693 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,279 Speaker 1: to do things, so they have open lines of communication. 694 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,840 Speaker 1: But then you try to justify not doing that because 695 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 1: of anything. I don't want to hear anything about me 696 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,800 Speaker 1: and and I almost now we're supposed to be about 697 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,799 Speaker 1: you because I'm not almost dying anymore. That don't make 698 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 1: no sense. That was done the brink, but I was recovering. 699 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,720 Speaker 1: Opportunities come and go right. There would have been another 700 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,160 Speaker 1: opportunity if I didn't do so strange, there would have 701 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,400 Speaker 1: been something else. But she looked so fine in that 702 00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:21,120 Speaker 1: turtle night turn, looking like a tall glass of coal milk, 703 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 1: almond milk, milk. But he was cute, That's what it was. 704 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 1: So it was worth it. She saw me looking fly. 705 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,960 Speaker 1: It was worth it all mag I wasn't dead. I 706 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:32,239 Speaker 1: still got that out of it. I'll put it on. 707 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 1: I told you put it on, putting on, and we 708 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,239 Speaker 1: can get it on. We can't get nothing on what 709 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,840 Speaker 1: you're gonna do? Oh, I know what You've got to countdown? 710 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 1: All right? How many more days to you got that golf? Golf? 711 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 1: Non thousand? Though? Well, I mean, however, because I was, 712 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,760 Speaker 1: I was trying to be mad at you're not telling 713 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 1: me exactly what it is that you needed in the moment. 714 00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,320 Speaker 1: But here you are making jokes and talking out the account. 715 00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,160 Speaker 1: And then let's take a break because this is this 716 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:13,840 Speaker 1: one is so left oxy toasting, get away from me. 717 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,760 Speaker 1: We're gonna take a quick break, y'all, because the valty 718 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: is to cool off. We're gonna hold him down and 719 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:35,440 Speaker 1: we'll move into listener letters after this. We're back listen time. 720 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,719 Speaker 1: I had to go cool off without that. All right, 721 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,960 Speaker 1: let me do this first one. Go for it. Okay, 722 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,439 Speaker 1: what's up, guys? I need help, and I really feel 723 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,920 Speaker 1: like y'all will understand where I'm coming from. How do 724 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:50,480 Speaker 1: I have a baby after having a whole four almost 725 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,480 Speaker 1: five year old that was us? My husband and I 726 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,880 Speaker 1: went want to start trying soon for our second and 727 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 1: my daughter will be five in February. O pregnancy was 728 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,120 Speaker 1: a little rough. I developed preclaims. Yeah, you know, and 729 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,120 Speaker 1: had my daughter at twenty nine weeks, and my husband 730 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,359 Speaker 1: and I were also nervous to think to even think 731 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 1: about me possibly getting pregnant again. It sounds almost like 732 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 1: us with Jackson and you haven't have stitches. Um, well, 733 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,160 Speaker 1: now your girl is ready to get pregnant like yesterday. 734 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,080 Speaker 1: But I am so out of touch with what's it 735 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 1: like to have a whole newborn? To be honest, what 736 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 1: do Tyler's even do anymore? My daughter is ready for 737 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,400 Speaker 1: another sibling since rolled up on me last month asking 738 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,000 Speaker 1: when I was going to have another baby. But kids 739 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,520 Speaker 1: be asking like they got something to do with it. 740 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,240 Speaker 1: But I'm a little nervous to start the whole process 741 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,239 Speaker 1: all over again. Can y'all give me some tips or 742 00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,839 Speaker 1: advice that what worked for y'all with transitioning from one 743 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,719 Speaker 1: kid to two. Um, not as concerned about the age 744 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 1: gap too much because my sister and I are six 745 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,480 Speaker 1: years apart, so I know what to expect when it 746 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 1: comes to my daughter and her emotions. I'm the oldest, 747 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 1: so I understand the responsibility of having a younger sibling, 748 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,799 Speaker 1: so were we both the oldest. But I don't know 749 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,320 Speaker 1: how my mama did it, and need some millennial encouragement. 750 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,000 Speaker 1: I know I have plenty of love to give the 751 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,200 Speaker 1: two kids. Yes you do, Mama, but I want to 752 00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,080 Speaker 1: be able to make sure my daughter feels that way too. 753 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,239 Speaker 1: Thanks for everything you'll do. We appreciate your baby. You 754 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,080 Speaker 1: gotta answer for her. Girl. Go ahead that baby, go ahead, 755 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,239 Speaker 1: and they go gay, go get pregnant like yesterday, like 756 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:13,359 Speaker 1: you said, Um, I mean again, one of those things 757 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,719 Speaker 1: you never really prepared for it, to have your first child, 758 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,680 Speaker 1: your second child, your third child. I feel like the fourth. 759 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,279 Speaker 1: By the fourth one, it's like one more added to 760 00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:23,000 Speaker 1: the bunch, like I said, another episode, like it's just 761 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,399 Speaker 1: one more added to the bunch. Um. I don't think 762 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,200 Speaker 1: the five year age gap like you said, wouldn't be 763 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,160 Speaker 1: an issue because it's actually Jackson and Cairo are five 764 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,920 Speaker 1: years apart, and I know that Cayro the door and 765 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,440 Speaker 1: Kyro and Dakota are five years apart, so Kyro adores. 766 00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:39,880 Speaker 1: So I feel like your daughter, um already asking for 767 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,799 Speaker 1: a sibling is going to be great because she will 768 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,440 Speaker 1: then be almost like a little mini mom to this 769 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,920 Speaker 1: new baby, and that new baby would completely be in 770 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,040 Speaker 1: love with her and want to be so much like her, 771 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,040 Speaker 1: especially if you have another girl. Um but I can 772 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:57,799 Speaker 1: see how the trauma around having preclampshot and then having 773 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,480 Speaker 1: your daughter at twenty nine weeks can pretend make you 774 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,480 Speaker 1: feel like, man, we got over that obstacle. We're in 775 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,359 Speaker 1: the clearer, she's five, We're good. And then it's like, damn, 776 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,200 Speaker 1: don't want to go back to that point again, because 777 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,480 Speaker 1: we have felt that way after Jackson. Remember right after 778 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,520 Speaker 1: Jackson we said we weren't having no more kids. Right 779 00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,200 Speaker 1: after that whole episode was like I'm done, Like I'm 780 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,920 Speaker 1: emergency surgery. You almost almost lose you. It's not doing that. 781 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. And that's what took us five 782 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: years between Jackson and Cairo. And we were so in 783 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:25,920 Speaker 1: love with Jackson to that, Like everything Jackson day, we 784 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,480 Speaker 1: were like Jackson, it's like the best thing ever, the 785 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,040 Speaker 1: best kid ever. Um So I did have a lot 786 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 1: of that guilty feeling having another baby after Jackson, but girl, 787 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 1: the love is there. I will say this, though Jackson 788 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:39,799 Speaker 1: came and I was like Jackson is so perfect. I 789 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 1: feel bad for whatever child comes after Jackson because no 790 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,520 Speaker 1: child is going to be as perfect as fact. Then 791 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:51,520 Speaker 1: Cairo came and was a different type perfection. Yeah, and 792 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,840 Speaker 1: then after Cairo came and he was just this amazing 793 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:57,080 Speaker 1: little person. Becaudan got pregnant immediately after and I was like, shoot, like, 794 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,359 Speaker 1: we're gonna have two. And I was like, dang, look 795 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,520 Speaker 1: at how perfect Jackson's. Look how perfect Cayro is. Then 796 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:07,200 Speaker 1: we have a third different version of perfection. Literally now 797 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 1: with Dakota, you would think this is my first baby. 798 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 1: We just sit in the bed just steering him and 799 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 1: smiling like what she's biling like the coda and we 800 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,560 Speaker 1: like to damn foods. Not I'm telling you, when it's 801 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:26,520 Speaker 1: your child, it's just different forms of perfection, different combinations 802 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,680 Speaker 1: of you and your husband. So go for a mama, 803 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,840 Speaker 1: do that thing. I think you should do it. Do it, 804 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,480 Speaker 1: do it, do it for sure? All right, I'll do 805 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:36,080 Speaker 1: the second one. Yo. Love the show listening last week 806 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,920 Speaker 1: on the topic of pregnancy and communication, and it struck 807 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 1: a nerve. I'm glad that ch'lld are enjoying this season. 808 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,040 Speaker 1: I dealt with a woman for almost eight years, and 809 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,960 Speaker 1: it's coming from my man. I think I always saw 810 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,799 Speaker 1: her as a good person to kick it with, but 811 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 1: never got to the point of being in a relationship 812 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,279 Speaker 1: because she already had a kid in a bag and 813 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,440 Speaker 1: the baggage of our past. She got pregnant after a 814 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,480 Speaker 1: plan B failed and wouldn't consider an abortion despite us 815 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:03,239 Speaker 1: having us solid foundations last relationship. I always wanted to 816 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,359 Speaker 1: be a good father and decided to try to make 817 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,920 Speaker 1: it work for the sake of my kid. I reluctantly 818 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:12,120 Speaker 1: traded in my bachelor lifestyle lifestyle for being a stepdad 819 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,440 Speaker 1: to her daughter, which I adore, and a bitchy baby mama. 820 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,640 Speaker 1: She constantly complained and talked to me crazy, telling her 821 00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,680 Speaker 1: my displeasure with our situation. Constantly ended up in fights. 822 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,959 Speaker 1: I finally told her I wasn't it wasn't going to work, 823 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,280 Speaker 1: and decided to move on. She'll never see that I tried, 824 00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:34,280 Speaker 1: or the effect of her attitude, only that I didn't 825 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,200 Speaker 1: end up with her or my mistakes. Now that she's 826 00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:39,759 Speaker 1: seen me with another woman, she's decided to keep my 827 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:44,040 Speaker 1: daughter away from me, which has now exceeded half of 828 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,080 Speaker 1: her life. I now have to foul. I have now 829 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,600 Speaker 1: filed cut for custody, but I'm trying to resolve things 830 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,040 Speaker 1: with her in the meantime. Any suggestions take it to Corebra. 831 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:58,319 Speaker 1: This this, this I'm telling you right now, if you 832 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:03,160 Speaker 1: cannot amicate Amica Lee, split with your significant other and 833 00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 1: still co parents, you take the necessary steps to petition 834 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,319 Speaker 1: in court to see your daughter, because the last thing 835 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,960 Speaker 1: you ever want is for that child to grow up 836 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,879 Speaker 1: and be resentful thinking her father didn't fight for her, 837 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,839 Speaker 1: because that's the hardest thing for a child to feel 838 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,960 Speaker 1: like someone didn't want her, didn't love her enough to 839 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,359 Speaker 1: fight and do everything to give her you know, like 840 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:25,879 Speaker 1: and And the truth of the matter is, the court 841 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,200 Speaker 1: doesn't only work for women. There are are plenty of 842 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,680 Speaker 1: men who have used the court system to get the 843 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,520 Speaker 1: rights of a parent. And as a father, you have 844 00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,040 Speaker 1: rights as well. So I would say, don't you know, 845 00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:40,799 Speaker 1: if you can't speak and things get nasty, don't do 846 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,880 Speaker 1: it that way. Keep every email, keep every text message, 847 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,480 Speaker 1: keep everything you have, every bit of communication you have 848 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,360 Speaker 1: with her to go to court and get what is 849 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,879 Speaker 1: rightfully yours as a father, because I tell you like this, 850 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 1: if you don't, she will, And if she goes there first, 851 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:57,640 Speaker 1: more than likely it ain't gonna work out good in 852 00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: your favor, bro, because the court system is not one 853 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,560 Speaker 1: for black men. Let's just be honest. The minute you 854 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 1: walk into a court system, you are a public enemy 855 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:09,359 Speaker 1: number one, whether that's for child support or any type 856 00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,600 Speaker 1: of petty crime. But the minute they see you in 857 00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,000 Speaker 1: the court system, they automatically assume that you're guilty as 858 00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,280 Speaker 1: a black man. So you better off going to petitioning 859 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:20,120 Speaker 1: for your rights first, done and done. So I feel 860 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,319 Speaker 1: about it. Do you sound like you're speaking from experience 861 00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,840 Speaker 1: we have We have friends who have fought, who have 862 00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:30,720 Speaker 1: been fighting. Yeah, I'm talking about good dude to make money, 863 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,200 Speaker 1: who want to be fathers, but have dealt with you know, 864 00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,480 Speaker 1: some bitter women, because it's it's not always a dead 865 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,640 Speaker 1: be dad. And then not for nothing, that's not always 866 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,799 Speaker 1: a bitter woman. But sometimes sometimes you have these situations 867 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:48,040 Speaker 1: where personalities don't mix and hurt people hurt people. So 868 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,960 Speaker 1: if you happen to be with the person who has 869 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,600 Speaker 1: been hurt in the past and now they're so purpose 870 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,759 Speaker 1: in life is to try to hurt you, you can't. 871 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,120 Speaker 1: You won't be able to get through that person. That 872 00:45:56,160 --> 00:46:00,520 Speaker 1: person needs therapy, that person needs help professionally, and rather 873 00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,479 Speaker 1: than trying to reason with them and they get caught 874 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:07,200 Speaker 1: in a web of deceit and lies and miscommunication, go 875 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:10,080 Speaker 1: through the court systems and get an attorney and and 876 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:13,000 Speaker 1: make sure the judge appoints you your rights so that 877 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,799 Speaker 1: you can be the best version of a parent you 878 00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,960 Speaker 1: can be for that job, because that's all that matters. 879 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:20,960 Speaker 1: Sounds good to me, all right, y'all. If you like 880 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,080 Speaker 1: to be featured as one of our listener letters, be 881 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,760 Speaker 1: sure to email us at data has Advice at gmail 882 00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:28,440 Speaker 1: dot com. That's D E A D A S S 883 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:32,520 Speaker 1: A D V I C E at gmail dot com. 884 00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:37,360 Speaker 1: My mom, and the truth is simple, ladies. If you 885 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:42,240 Speaker 1: feel something, say something. If you feel like something is off, 886 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:47,239 Speaker 1: say something. Do not wait, Do not try to be superwoman. 887 00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:51,000 Speaker 1: It's better that you get checked. They tell you everything 888 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:54,200 Speaker 1: is okay, or they tell you it's not, and at 889 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:58,440 Speaker 1: least you know. There is no comfort in guessing when 890 00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,000 Speaker 1: it comes to your health. And as much as we 891 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:04,640 Speaker 1: try to be there for everyone else and to be 892 00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:08,680 Speaker 1: everything for everything everyone else, those there's moments where you 893 00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:10,799 Speaker 1: have to take a look at your own health and 894 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,960 Speaker 1: your own well being first, because we cannot continue to 895 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:17,200 Speaker 1: pour from an empty cup. So that being said, if 896 00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:21,840 Speaker 1: you feel something, say something, I'm gonna piggyback off yours gentlemen, 897 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,680 Speaker 1: if you feel something is wrong with your significant other, 898 00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:28,120 Speaker 1: your baby, mother, your wife, your girlfriend, you say something, 899 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:32,360 Speaker 1: don't wait for her to tell you. If you notice 900 00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,000 Speaker 1: something is off, baby, let's just go run real quick 901 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,759 Speaker 1: and see a doctor. On top of that, if you 902 00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,759 Speaker 1: know your baby mama don't want you to go to 903 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,239 Speaker 1: the Soul Train Awards because she needs you to stay here, 904 00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,520 Speaker 1: don't go because all she's gonna do is pick a 905 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,560 Speaker 1: fight with you before you go to the awards. Have 906 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,000 Speaker 1: you up until three four in the morning arguing, and 907 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,920 Speaker 1: you're gonna be on the red carpet with eyes looking 908 00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:59,560 Speaker 1: like mine. It looks fabulous. Actually, if I do say so, 909 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,959 Speaker 1: I appreciate you now about that suit? I got you. 910 00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:08,279 Speaker 1: Got you take to the dry cleanness you know, put 911 00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,279 Speaker 1: it back on, holding up night out of it. I 912 00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:16,000 Speaker 1: got you, alright, y'all. What's the end of this? I 913 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,120 Speaker 1: forgot Sorry, close my laptop. Be sure to find us 914 00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,960 Speaker 1: on social media at dead as the Podcast and you 915 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,600 Speaker 1: can find me I am and I am devout. And 916 00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,200 Speaker 1: if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, 917 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,040 Speaker 1: review and subscribe, and make sure I'll share this season 918 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:34,320 Speaker 1: with some people who are looking to be pregnant, are pregnant, 919 00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:38,440 Speaker 1: expecting parents, all that good stuff, like I appreciate you 920 00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:44,520 Speaker 1: listening good stuff. Dead as dead Ass is a production 921 00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,160 Speaker 1: of I Heart Media podcast network and is produced by 922 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,960 Speaker 1: the Norapinia and Triple Follow the podcast on social media 923 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,279 Speaker 1: at dead as the Podcast and never miss a Thing 924 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,640 Speaker 1: I Do