Speaker 1: Episode four sixty seven, How to Find a financial mentor
Speaker 1: with Anthony O'Neil.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and live your life. Here your
Speaker 2: hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we are speaking with
Speaker 1: Anthony O'Neill about mentorship, relationships, all these fun things that
Speaker 1: you don't typically know him for, but he has a
Speaker 1: lot of wisdom on this is.
Speaker 3: A concept we really haven't covered. We talk about community,
Speaker 3: we talk about kind of ways to find the information
Speaker 3: that you're looking for that will actually be beneficial and
Speaker 3: sound advice, but we haven't really dialed in on how
Speaker 3: do we find our people? And Anthony is the one
Speaker 3: to ask about this. He has found this mentor, I
Speaker 3: am sure he does mentor others, and so he's got
Speaker 3: a lot of insight that I think will really be
Speaker 3: inspirational to you all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but first, this episode is brought to you by
Speaker 1: decking the halls. No, not punching a hole in a wall. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know where you thought this was going.
Speaker 3: Oh lashin, I love that pun, but actually.
Speaker 1: Decking the halls with an amount of decor that feels
Speaker 1: right for you and not too much just because you're
Speaker 1: being influenced by social media. And one of the things
Speaker 1: you should be including in your hall decking is our
Speaker 1: new book by What you Love without going Broke. It
Speaker 1: is very easy to just slip into your next Amazon purchase.
Speaker 1: It will show up to your house in January right
Speaker 1: when you need it. Hopefully you won't need it, but
Speaker 1: hopefully you're buying it to support this mission to make
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Speaker 3: I am really just chuckling over here about possibly introducing
Speaker 3: a new tradition, a new holiday tradition of just punching
Speaker 3: my walls.
Speaker 1: Punching the wall.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: Solaly member that does that traditionally, but not like intentionally.
Speaker 1: But there's every year someone in their family punches a wall.
Speaker 3: And now we can just view it as a traditional
Speaker 3: way of bringing the cheer of the season.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a good holiday starter. But you know
Speaker 1: who is not decking any halls, Who's not punching any walls?
Speaker 1: For sure? Anthony O'Neill, who is just the sweetest. He
Speaker 1: is a number one national best selling author of Debt
Speaker 1: Free Degree, and he is the popular podcast and YouTube
Speaker 1: host of the Table. And he has a fantastic passion
Speaker 1: for people. He wants to help break generational wealth gaps
Speaker 1: build true wealth. And his upcoming book is named is
Speaker 1: titled Take Your Seat at the Table, Live an Authentic
Speaker 1: Life of abundance, wellness and freedom, and it comes out
Speaker 1: a week after ours. So maybe you'll find yourself pre
Speaker 1: ordering both. I don't know, it's up to you.
Speaker 3: Why not and you'll yeah, you'll learn. When it comes
Speaker 3: to financial financial mentorship, books can be an excellent resource
Speaker 3: and you can really find what works for you. I
Speaker 3: think our message is we did not vary to say
Speaker 3: that are very aligned and I think they can be congruent.
Speaker 3: I don't think you just have to pick one podcast
Speaker 3: one book, So yeah, get them both.
Speaker 1: Try it out.
Speaker 3: But let's get into it. Let's hear what Anthony has
Speaker 3: to say.
Speaker 1: Anthony, Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast. We're so excited
Speaker 1: to have you.
Speaker 4: Oh, Jan Jill, thank y'all so much for having me on.
Speaker 4: I have been looking forward to this interview, so I'm
Speaker 4: looking forward to it. Y'are Tobe, And they'll be some
Speaker 4: screaming halfway through, so I'm looking forward to hear how
Speaker 4: this screaming is going to go.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's yelling, but yeah, maybe maybe borderline screaming. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: we're ready. We're really excited for it. But before that,
Speaker 3: we are so thrilled to have you here, and we
Speaker 3: love the way in which you are making finances accessible, relatable, fun,
Speaker 3: and particularly your concept of the table. It's the title
Speaker 3: of your YouTube channel, which is awesome and kind of
Speaker 3: the idea that this gives about community and relationships and
Speaker 3: the ways in which we gather. So with that kind
Speaker 3: of in mind, we're curious if you can start us
Speaker 3: off with sharing a little bit about how we might
Speaker 3: be able to find some sound financial mentorship to kind
Speaker 3: of bring to our metaphorical table the places we gather.
Speaker 5: This is a good question.
Speaker 4: I remember jail, when I was homeless, sleeping in the
Speaker 4: back of my car, and all that I saw was
Speaker 4: my mom and dad, both sets in my parents. I
Speaker 4: have four parents, and I saw them literally struggling in
Speaker 4: a middle class perspective, right, And I was like, okay, wait,
Speaker 4: I'm seeing rich people have everything that they desire and
Speaker 4: I'm seeing my parents struggle. Like I'm not trying to
Speaker 4: be filthy rich, but I don't want that neither.
Speaker 5: But I saw it.
Speaker 4: I was like, man, I can't I can't touch them
Speaker 4: because they don't know me from Adam and Eve. Like,
Speaker 4: I just can't walk up to them and say, hey,
Speaker 4: you know, how did you do it? Because they just
Speaker 4: wouldn't respond. Then I couldn't ask my parents for help
Speaker 4: because you know, they didn't know how to get to
Speaker 4: where I wanted to go.
Speaker 5: They just knew how to survive.
Speaker 4: So one of the very first things that I think
Speaker 4: a lot of people take for granted is to literally
Speaker 4: look for mentorship through podcasts and books.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 4: So you don't have to touch a gin and jail
Speaker 4: to be mentored by a gin in jail. The simple
Speaker 4: fact that you're listening to the podcast, you're getting the mentorship.
Speaker 4: The problem is that I see with a lot of
Speaker 4: people is well, listen to the plot to the podcast,
Speaker 4: get the wisdom, but we won't apply the wisdom. And
Speaker 4: so that's where mentorship is effective. Mentorship is not effective
Speaker 4: just because I can talk to Jen and Jail. Mentorship
Speaker 4: is effective when I can apply with Jen and Jill
Speaker 4: is teaching me. This is why y'all need to get
Speaker 4: their new book that's coming out in January. This is
Speaker 4: why I need to constantly listen to you their podcast
Speaker 4: because Jen and Jill our experience and what they're doing
Speaker 4: and what they're teaching. So mentorship for me is I
Speaker 4: think a lot of us get hung up on. If
Speaker 4: you want to be a basketball player, you would love
Speaker 4: to be mentored by Lebron James. If you want to
Speaker 4: be you know, jet free. Some people would love to
Speaker 4: be mentored by Dave Ramsey for an example. If you
Speaker 4: want to be a preacher, like in my culture, a
Speaker 4: lot of us want to go to Bishop such and such,
Speaker 4: right and for me, I think the key thing that
Speaker 4: people should do is pick up the book, get a podcast,
Speaker 4: and then apply with their teaching. Now before we go
Speaker 4: on there and say this and not be quiet, because y'all,
Speaker 4: I'm a black preacher. So we can talk a lot,
Speaker 4: so y'all got to cut me off when y'all ready
Speaker 4: for me to be quiet. Make sure that you do
Speaker 4: the research on the individual who's saying that they know
Speaker 4: what they're doing. Because there's a lot of YouTubers right now,
Speaker 4: especially with chat GPT, everyone can just be this expert,
Speaker 4: and so you got to make sure that you taste
Speaker 4: and try the fruit of what they're teaching. If they're saying, hey,
Speaker 4: I've gotten out of debt, or this is how you
Speaker 4: get out of debt. Are they debt free? Hey, this
Speaker 4: is how you build a million dollars? Do they have
Speaker 4: a million dollars? And do they have fruit? Do they
Speaker 4: have proof of what they're teaching? And if they don't
Speaker 4: have fruit and they don't have proof, then that's not
Speaker 4: a mentor you need to submit yourself to. So that'd
Speaker 4: be the very first thing we could go deeper into it.
Speaker 4: But I tell everyone, man, pick up a book, read
Speaker 4: the book, and then apply the knowledge. Getting wisdom without
Speaker 4: applying the knowledge, you just gave them a listening ear
Speaker 4: with no application.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's such a good point. I think we often
Speaker 3: think we've got to find people within our immediate network
Speaker 3: and that's what's so great about the Internet. There's bros
Speaker 3: and cons to it, but there's so much information out there.
Speaker 3: One of the things we talk about is this Japanese
Speaker 3: concept of shoehi follow the rules, break the rules, transcend
Speaker 3: the rules, and how it is so important to identify
Speaker 3: who are we following first before we try and willy
Speaker 3: nilly this thing all over the place and find ourselves
Speaker 3: in a situation we never intended to be in. But
Speaker 3: I think you're hitting on something really important of how
Speaker 3: to find those people. So I'm curious that if you
Speaker 3: have any more pointers there on if I am thinking, okay,
Speaker 3: great books and podcasts, make sure that they're implementing what
Speaker 3: they say they're implementing anything even before that, of who
Speaker 3: to look for? Where am I? Where am I finding
Speaker 3: these people? What's a good place to start? How do
Speaker 3: I research them?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so one of the good places you can start
Speaker 4: is within your immediate circle. For an example, I couldn't
Speaker 4: go to my parents on how to build wealth, how
Speaker 4: to build a million dollars. I couldn't go to my
Speaker 4: best friends on how to do certain things. But here's
Speaker 4: what I have found is that everybody in my life
Speaker 4: has something good about them. So I can go to
Speaker 4: Jill and say, Jill, I want to learn this one
Speaker 4: specific thing from you. Can you help me with this? Now, Jen,
Speaker 4: you have this one specific thing, can I learn this
Speaker 4: from you? And then Anthony, I want to learn this
Speaker 4: one specific thing from me. I will learn that next thing.
Speaker 4: You know, you have everything that you've been looking for,
Speaker 4: but you went different places to get it within your
Speaker 4: immediate circle, right, And so I think for us, let's
Speaker 4: identify who's in our immediate circle that has some level
Speaker 4: of intellect that can help me in certain areas of
Speaker 4: my life that will get me to my end goal.
Speaker 4: When you are looking for mentorship, the key thing is
Speaker 4: what are they mentoring you on? And I tell this
Speaker 4: to everybody, even including myself. Before you can get a mentor,
Speaker 4: identify the mission because the mentor helps you get to
Speaker 4: the mission quicker. And so if you don't know clearly
Speaker 4: where you're going, okay, listen, your thing could be I
Speaker 4: want to pay off. I want to be debt free
Speaker 4: in twenty twenty five, and I want to save ten
Speaker 4: thousand dollars in emergency fund, and I want to get
Speaker 4: married and be able to pay can ask for our
Speaker 4: wedding cool.
Speaker 5: That is a mission that is a vision for your life.
Speaker 4: Now, Jill may have an experience on how to budget,
Speaker 4: Jim may have experience on, you know, how to deal
Speaker 4: with a husband when he's pissing you off. You know,
Speaker 4: there's different areas where you can get mentorship from different people,
Speaker 4: but you won't know what to look for if you
Speaker 4: don't have a clear direction of where you're going. And
Speaker 4: when we have a clear direction of the vision and
Speaker 4: a mission that is assigned for our lives, then from
Speaker 4: there we can identify who do we need to invite
Speaker 4: to our table, to our lives, who can help us?
Speaker 4: And when you do that, it's honestly easier to find mentors,
Speaker 4: identify books, identify podcasts to do it. Oftentimes I'll see
Speaker 4: something in gim like, yo, I want that, but is
Speaker 4: that even helping me with my own vision? And so
Speaker 4: we'll have all these people speaking into our lives with
Speaker 4: no clarity on where we're going.
Speaker 1: That's so wise to first figure out where you want
Speaker 1: to go. And some there's always the shiny objects shiny
Speaker 1: person syndrome. I guess where you're wanting something that a
Speaker 1: quality that someone else has, but like really taking into
Speaker 1: consideration if it takes you to where you personally want
Speaker 1: to go, how do you start those conversations? How do
Speaker 1: you start to bring those people to your table when
Speaker 1: you've identified somebody that has a quality that in your
Speaker 1: real life that you want.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just recently did it, so everyone knows that I
Speaker 4: did seven eight years with I believe one of the
Speaker 4: gurus himself, Dave Ramsey. When it comes to the personal
Speaker 4: finance space, I stepped out because I wanted to specifically
Speaker 4: speak to the minority community and the less fortunate communities.
Speaker 4: And when I stepped out, I had a clear vision. Hey,
Speaker 4: I want to help everyone become debt free, but I
Speaker 4: want to take all the wisdom and knowledge that I've
Speaker 4: been able to gain over the last fifteen years and
Speaker 4: go into minority schools, less fortunate schools, low grade schools,
Speaker 4: and bring this financial knowledge to these young people, but
Speaker 4: then also help minorities get out of debt, etc.
Speaker 5: Etc.
Speaker 4: And I said, Okay, now that I have that vision,
Speaker 4: I need to identify people in that area. For example,
Speaker 4: one of the leading voices when it comes to minority
Speaker 4: communities was back in two thousand and eight, and his
Speaker 4: name was Lee Jenkins. He's in his mid sixties now
Speaker 4: and Pastor Lee Jenkins stopped doing the financial space to
Speaker 4: go into the Christian space to.
Speaker 5: Be a pastor.
Speaker 4: And so I found them and I was like, man,
Speaker 4: you're in the spiritual world, in the Christian faith world.
Speaker 4: You have a financial degree. You were a CFA, not CFA,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, a Certified Financial Advisor CFAES. And I said, man,
Speaker 4: I'm doing that. I'm back in school, sir. I literally
Speaker 4: just hit him up on Instagram. I said, hey, sir,
Speaker 4: love what you're doing. And I said, I am back
Speaker 4: in school to get my MBA and I'll be completed
Speaker 4: with that here but the the next year. I have
Speaker 4: a heart for the minority community community, but I'm also
Speaker 4: a Christian and I want to come from that perspective
Speaker 4: in the biblical space. I'm going to be in your area.
Speaker 4: I was wondering if I could treat you to lunch
Speaker 4: for an hour and I will even pay for the
Speaker 4: lunch to compensate for your time. Can I just get
Speaker 4: some wisdom from you? He didn't hit me back. I
Speaker 4: replied to him like a week later and he said, Hey,
Speaker 4: when you're in town, hit me up. And we've been
Speaker 4: able to form a mentorship relationship simply by telling him, listen,
Speaker 4: I won't take up much of your time. I will
Speaker 4: pay for lunch. This is what I'm doing, this is
Speaker 4: what I've accomplished, but this is where I want to go.
Speaker 5: And you've done that.
Speaker 4: And the key thing for me, what I want to
Speaker 4: tell everyone is when I first met with him, I
Speaker 4: was quiet. I didn't say nothing. I didn't try to
Speaker 4: impress him. I didn't try and say, yeah, I got
Speaker 4: a number one national best selling book. That doesn't mean nothing.
Speaker 4: One hour of his time. He is there to help me.
Speaker 4: And because of that, he said, I want to keep
Speaker 4: this relationship going. That relationship now has become and what
Speaker 4: we call in our community like a spiritual father and
Speaker 4: spiritual son perspective, Like he guides me on this journey
Speaker 4: and he's helping me understand and grow more. But what
Speaker 4: got me there was I reached out to him via
Speaker 4: Instagram and I told him what I'm doing. I said, hey,
Speaker 4: I will I'm not going to waste your time. I'm
Speaker 4: not asking for a phone call. No, I'm going to
Speaker 4: fly into your city and I'm going to sit down
Speaker 4: with you for lunch. And I just want to listen,
Speaker 4: and y'all, I had two ears and two eyes and
Speaker 4: one mouth for a reason. I only talked when he
Speaker 4: asked me a question. But other than that, I was
Speaker 4: listening to body language and I was listening to the words,
Speaker 4: and I had two hands. I was writing down as
Speaker 4: much as I possibly could, because I can't take this
Speaker 4: opportunity lightly. That this why man who is respected within
Speaker 4: my community, in my space, who does the same thing
Speaker 4: as me, is willing to coach me and mentor me.
Speaker 4: And one of the things I think oftentimes that our generation,
Speaker 4: as we are younger, do is we want to impress people.
Speaker 4: We want to go in there and talk about, Yeah,
Speaker 4: I got a podcast, I got this many listeners, and
Speaker 4: I'm doing this and I'm doing that doesn't mean nothing
Speaker 4: to a mentor because he's already accomplished what you've accomplished.
Speaker 4: Maybe you've accomplished something different, but that person has already
Speaker 4: built what you're trying to build. I say this respectfully.
Speaker 4: It's not a cust word, but someone us need to
Speaker 4: shut up, just shut up and just listen, get the
Speaker 4: wisdom so that we can apply it in our lives
Speaker 4: and watch this. Because of that, he's connected me with
Speaker 4: other people because he knows I want to listen and
Speaker 4: watch way more than I want to talk and impress.
Speaker 4: And my impression comes from just listening and taking what
Speaker 4: he says, and he sees me doing it in my
Speaker 4: real life. And so that's what I would say on
Speaker 4: how to start a conversation. It's just walk up to
Speaker 4: them and say, hey, listen, this is what I want
Speaker 4: to do. You've done it, sir, You've done it, ma'am.
Speaker 4: Can I treat you to lunch? Can I treat you
Speaker 4: to coffee? Heck, I'll come by your office and bring donuts.
Speaker 4: I'll take thirty minutes of your time, and I'm going
Speaker 4: to make sure that it's worth your time, because, believe
Speaker 4: this or not, y'all mentors want to sew back. They
Speaker 4: just don't want to waste their time. You see, money
Speaker 4: to certain mentors, Like for me right now, money is
Speaker 4: not a problem. I can make money. I can replace money.
Speaker 4: I cannot replace my time. And I know that about
Speaker 4: wiser and more successful people than myself. They can make
Speaker 4: the money, but they can't get their time back. So
Speaker 4: I got to make sure that when I have their time,
Speaker 4: I'm not wasting it. And they feel fulfilled as well,
Speaker 4: because they sold into someone younger, someone not as successful
Speaker 4: as them, and they gave that person their time and
Speaker 4: their wisdom, and so their reward for that time is
Speaker 4: seeing the fruit inside of me. Now, if I take
Speaker 4: all their wisdom go out and in the world RUMs
Speaker 4: and ah, I forget it and don't try it, don't
Speaker 4: apply it. I've wasted their time. I'll never see them again.
Speaker 4: And so that's how it would start that conversation. I
Speaker 4: gave you a little bit more than how to start it.
Speaker 4: I gave you how to start it and how to
Speaker 4: keep it. But the how to start it, it's just
Speaker 4: literally leave with humility. Go in there and be the
Speaker 4: dumbest person in the room. When I say the dumbest,
Speaker 4: I'm not saying you're dumb, but at like you don't
Speaker 4: know ask more than you actually tell. And I learned
Speaker 4: that from my friend Dave and other successive people. They
Speaker 4: will ask me questions that they somewhat already knew the
Speaker 4: answer to, but they're like, no, I'm asking because you
Speaker 4: may give me a different perspective that I may have missed.
Speaker 4: So I've learned to ask questions even if I know
Speaker 4: the answer. He may give an answer that his answer
Speaker 4: could make me think differently about something I'm doing in
Speaker 4: my life, and that's how I.
Speaker 1: Would Yeah, that's so wise.
Speaker 3: I love what you're describing here. When it comes to
Speaker 3: relationships and specifically mentorship. I think there's a lot of
Speaker 3: vulnerability here that we are really putting ourselves out there
Speaker 3: and asking somebody for something, and that is always a
Speaker 3: little bit scary. But I think when we can really
Speaker 3: identify they have something that I want that would really
Speaker 3: benefit me, and here's what I can also give back,
Speaker 3: so that there's some degree of reciprocity here that we
Speaker 3: can make it worth their wild. But along those lines,
Speaker 3: when we're looking at community, you've really described well what
Speaker 3: it can mean for us when we find people who
Speaker 3: are going to be beneficial pouring into our lives. Kind
Speaker 3: of sewing back. But there's a lot to say here
Speaker 3: about the ways in which community relationships impact our finances,
Speaker 3: probably for better or worse. What would you say about this, Anthony,
Speaker 3: when it comes to kind of taking inventory about who's
Speaker 3: at our table, who we want to be at our table?
Speaker 3: What do you see are the impacts of community on finances?
Speaker 4: You know, I want I want to want to go
Speaker 4: back to something you said, Jill, because I mean, I
Speaker 4: think I think your audience need to really hear that
Speaker 4: you got to be vulnerable if you're going to build
Speaker 4: wealth in some form of fashion, if you're going to
Speaker 4: get if you're going to have a mentor, you can't
Speaker 4: be afraid to be ashamed because they're there to help you.
Speaker 4: Become unashamed that they're there to help you grow and
Speaker 4: evolve and become better, and they can't help you do
Speaker 4: that if you're not vulnerable enough to show them your weaknesses,
Speaker 4: to show them your flaws, to show them, hey, this
Speaker 4: is where I need help at If you want to
Speaker 4: build wealth, if you want frugal friends to to help
Speaker 4: you get out of the living page at the paycheck,
Speaker 4: you got to come to the table and put everything
Speaker 4: out on the table.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that can be so helpful when we
Speaker 3: can have somebody else to look at the thing with us.
Speaker 3: I think when it comes to our finances and we
Speaker 3: know that we want to get it in order, but
Speaker 3: we don't even know what we're going to find. Sometimes
Speaker 3: having somebody else who's able to be there with us
Speaker 3: to walk us through it, even if it's going to
Speaker 3: be vulnerable, a little scary. You're not going into it alone,
Speaker 3: and sometimes that can help us. But yeah, I'm curious
Speaker 3: that flip side too of what do we need to
Speaker 3: be looking for when it comes to who might be
Speaker 3: in our lives that is not helping us financially? What
Speaker 3: would you recommend there?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say I remember when I was getting
Speaker 4: out of getting out of debt.
Speaker 5: Actually, no, let me I mean, yeah, let me do
Speaker 5: this story, let me do this, let me do this. Right,
Speaker 5: it's cool. It's a real good one.
Speaker 4: And I got to say in a way twitter not
Speaker 4: offensive or offended, but it's my truth in this season
Speaker 4: of my life. Right, we've been able to build a
Speaker 4: great business and one of my friends there was this
Speaker 4: lot that came available for me to buy because my
Speaker 4: dream is to always live on a golf course or
Speaker 4: on the water. Where a lot came available, it's like
Speaker 4: a million dollars for it. I said, oh, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: go get it. Might go get it. When my friends
Speaker 4: he was, yeah, bro, go get it, man, cause we
Speaker 4: can have parties out there, we can ball out, we
Speaker 4: can bite all the ladies.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, that's not what you do on the
Speaker 3: golf course.
Speaker 5: Right, you know.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, huh. I went back to my mentor,
Speaker 4: and my mentor said, that's dumb. It's just you and
Speaker 4: a black dog in this house. You don't need a
Speaker 4: ten thousand square foot house. That's more electricity for what.
Speaker 4: You're only five five boy, you ain't that big.
Speaker 5: You'll need all that space. What's roaded?
Speaker 4: You're the money guy, what's roading? I go back and
Speaker 4: I tell my friend it's like, oh, man, bump that guy.
Speaker 5: He don't know. We could turn up, bro, Do you
Speaker 5: know what can happen? Like he was.
Speaker 4: He was pushing me this way, and my mentor is saying, listen,
Speaker 4: don't listen to me, but your money is going to
Speaker 4: tell you that is a poor decision. Your friend is
Speaker 4: not telling you what to do with your money. My
Speaker 4: friend is telling me how we can turn up. Now,
Speaker 4: I'm not saying he's not a good friend, but I
Speaker 4: did tell him, you're not holding me accountable to the
Speaker 4: vision and to the goals.
Speaker 5: That I have for my life.
Speaker 4: So you're no longer invited in that space of my life.
Speaker 4: But when I'm ready to go out to the beach
Speaker 4: and turn up, bro, come with me.
Speaker 5: You're gonna be the life of the party.
Speaker 4: But when it comes to building something up substance, I
Speaker 4: need even speaking into your life before you even speak
Speaker 4: into mine, because I'm the one that's over here living
Speaker 4: this lifestyle. Not saying that I'm perfect or better than you,
Speaker 4: but I told you what I'm trying to do with
Speaker 4: my life, and the first thing you said was let's
Speaker 4: turn up. We could turn up. You never asked me, well, hey,
Speaker 4: does this help you with your goals, with your vision
Speaker 4: for your life. I remember you telling me that you
Speaker 4: know you wanted to buy a house in gon To, Africa,
Speaker 4: you wanted to, you know, build a studio for your
Speaker 4: your company, because it's going to derail you or slow
Speaker 4: you down from your goals and your visions. And so
Speaker 4: for me, simply simply said, simple said to answer your question.
Speaker 4: You know you have the wrong people in your community
Speaker 4: in your life. Now, I'm not saying get rid of
Speaker 4: them completely, but I have like different level of friends.
Speaker 4: Friends who are just cool, what's up, We're friends. But
Speaker 4: I have those close what I call them covenant brothers
Speaker 4: and sisters, that they know exactly where I'm going, what
Speaker 4: I'm doing, and where I'm struggling with and they hold
Speaker 4: me accountable to get to that goal and to get
Speaker 4: over that struggle. And if you want, if your friends
Speaker 4: are always telling you to forget about it, you know
Speaker 4: you only live once. You know you're young, enjoy life
Speaker 4: turned up, don't worry about it. It's not that serious.
Speaker 4: Those are the friends you need to get out of
Speaker 4: your inner circle and just keep them on the outside
Speaker 4: when you do just want to have a good weekend,
Speaker 4: a good night, and just have a good time. But
Speaker 4: if you're looking to really build something of substance. All
Speaker 4: of my wealthy friends, all of my millionaire friends, man,
Speaker 4: their inner circle is small, but they're also very impactful
Speaker 4: because that inner circle is not allowing them to mismanage,
Speaker 4: to mislead and watch this, to mismeasure. So when I
Speaker 4: say mismeasure as far as in you can't manage what
Speaker 4: you don't measure. And so my friends help me measure
Speaker 4: my success, measure my accomplishments, measure what's going on throughout
Speaker 4: the year. And as we're measuring, we're identifying, Okay, what
Speaker 4: you're doing, is it working and is it getting you
Speaker 4: closer to your goal? And if it's not, my friends like, Hey,
Speaker 4: we need to kind of reposition ourselves.
Speaker 3: I can appreciate that we're not getting rid of friends,
Speaker 3: We're just identifying where can we fit them into our
Speaker 3: lives and where in what ways are we benefiting them too? Right,
Speaker 3: they've got to do their own inventory as well. But
Speaker 3: how does this make sense for the goals that I
Speaker 3: have and in what way do I want to be interacting?
Speaker 3: In what way do I have to shift some of
Speaker 3: these patterns? But you know something that we don't have
Speaker 3: to shift ever. It's a pattern that we are absolutely
Speaker 3: going to keep every single time. The bill.
Speaker 6: That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 6: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 6: is William. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
Speaker 6: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 6: that bill anymore. That's bills, Buffalo bills, Bill clion, this.
Speaker 3: Is the bill of the weekend.
Speaker 1: Ah, there it is there, It is Anthony. Every week
Speaker 1: we yell at our listeners and our guests and we
Speaker 1: ask them to contribute a very important part of the
Speaker 1: growth of this show, the bill of the week, And
Speaker 1: we would love to hear yours.
Speaker 5: Man, the bill of the week.
Speaker 4: I've been thinking about this because I heard it on
Speaker 4: the podcast before, and I think the bill of the week,
Speaker 4: a fun one, which is a real one, is I
Speaker 4: have a hot date this weekend, and that's a bill.
Speaker 3: That is going to be a whole bill. It's better
Speaker 3: to be a whole bill.
Speaker 4: It's all I know is that it's gonna be a
Speaker 4: whole bill. I haven't been out on a date in
Speaker 4: a long time, and so I'm looking forward to this bill.
Speaker 4: This is one of those bills I'm like, Okay, let's go,
Speaker 4: let's I'm ready to pay this one.
Speaker 5: So I'm looking looking forward.
Speaker 3: What are you gonna do? What's gonna what's gonna be
Speaker 3: on that bill?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Well, so the bill and on this bill is a flight,
Speaker 4: it's a hotel room, and then we're gonna do a
Speaker 4: comedy show, and then we're gonna do dinner.
Speaker 5: And so I'm looking for.
Speaker 1: A John and I are a big comedy show and dinner, girls, those.
Speaker 4: Are first from a lady's perspective, Is it the comedy show,
Speaker 4: comedy show first, then dinner or is it dinner then
Speaker 4: comedy show?
Speaker 3: Usually dinner than comedy show. But that's a little bit
Speaker 3: more because comedy shows start at like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it depends on what time the show starts. And
Speaker 1: also I just go to bed really early because now
Speaker 1: I'm old.
Speaker 3: I want to laugh and then I want to fall asleep.
Speaker 4: That's true, that's true. I'm looking forward to it. So yeah,
Speaker 4: I think that's the plan, is dinner first and then
Speaker 4: at the comedy show. And I just got to prepare
Speaker 4: myself because I know we're sitting on the front, so
Speaker 4: we're gonna get roasted.
Speaker 3: Oh care to share who you're going to see? Or
Speaker 3: is this is I can't.
Speaker 5: Remember the name. It's a local. It's a local comedian there.
Speaker 3: Cool, excellent. If you all listening have a bill that
Speaker 3: you want to share, if it has to do with
Speaker 3: a hot date, a bill you don't mind paying a
Speaker 3: bill you're just going to rack up because you've saved
Speaker 3: up for it, or your name is Bill. You know
Speaker 3: you know what we want Frugal Friends podcast dot com
Speaker 3: slash bill leave it for us, and now it's time
Speaker 3: for we do our own side effects here here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the side effects we do.
Speaker 5: All our tell me come from y'all. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we we are a large podcast, but we are
Speaker 1: still humble enough to do our own sound.
Speaker 3: You got to cut the budgets somewhere. You know, the
Speaker 3: sound effects were really going to put us over the edge.
Speaker 1: So I love it all right. So who is somebody
Speaker 1: that's positively impacted how you manage your finance?
Speaker 5: Says?
Speaker 1: You can say them by name or not, But.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I think there's no secret, man. I
Speaker 4: think Dave Ramsey is probably the most influential and most
Speaker 4: impactful person in my life when it comes to how
Speaker 4: I manage my money. I took Financial Peace University back
Speaker 4: in two thousand and eight, and it changed my life
Speaker 4: on how I saw money Now. I do things differently now.
Speaker 4: But I would say he's played the most.
Speaker 3: We've We've similarly commented. Both Jen and I had done
Speaker 3: Financial Peace University, but we totally shoot how I read
Speaker 3: that thing. We followed those rules. It did something for us.
Speaker 3: We send the rules and then we transcended the rules.
Speaker 3: So here we are the water's warm. Uh for me?
Speaker 3: I would say, Jen, one right here sitting next to me,
Speaker 3: I mean, can you what else can I point to
Speaker 3: that has made such a difference in my life?
Speaker 1: And I actually might be offended if you'd said someone else.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so true.
Speaker 4: You know, I'd be real it would have been someone else.
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh really, okay this after the podcast.
Speaker 3: Exactly, Yeah, truly it's Jen. I would not have done
Speaker 3: this podcast without her. I would not have roth. I
Speaker 3: r A without without you. You you my you, my
Speaker 3: financial ride or die right now maybe my life writer
Speaker 3: or die will TV.
Speaker 1: So mine is my husband, Travis not might be a little,
Speaker 1: a little deal.
Speaker 3: I see how she did. I know it was.
Speaker 1: I know here the relationship.
Speaker 3: In you signs right now?
Speaker 4: Now, Jan did it right for her house? She was like,
Speaker 4: she ain't by the miss up my house. It's my husband.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit of a cop out answer. But
Speaker 1: I do think like he was the one that inspired
Speaker 1: me to believe that paying off our debt was possible.
Speaker 1: We had seventy eight thousand dollars of debt. He was
Speaker 1: the one that the first values based spending or values
Speaker 1: based goals experience I've ever had was with him when
Speaker 1: he said, what do you want from life? And how
Speaker 1: can you get it faster? And that's how I came
Speaker 1: to believe that paying off debt was possible. So I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta say Travis definitely is responsible for the
Speaker 1: money I make now. Without Jill would not have an income.
Speaker 1: So positive around We'll talk mm hmm.
Speaker 3: It never feels good when you're more into somebody else
Speaker 3: than they are into you. And you know what, I'll
Speaker 3: work through it. Anthony, this has been so lovely. Can
Speaker 3: you tell people where they can get more from you?
Speaker 3: How how they can engage in your wisdom?
Speaker 5: Jill?
Speaker 4: Before I said, I just want to say, my friend,
Speaker 4: I'm praying for you.
Speaker 3: It's gonna take podcast together. Now, it's gonna take more
Speaker 3: than you, Anthony. How big is your prayer team?
Speaker 5: Jill? I got a big one.
Speaker 4: I got a big one because I mean, this relationship
Speaker 4: right here may not last the way she she may
Speaker 4: leave you for her husband.
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna let you know right now, Dear Heavenly
Speaker 5: Father Tom.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't start a podcast.
Speaker 5: Oh man, I love it.
Speaker 1: No, I talk too much for him. I have to
Speaker 1: have Jill. I need Jill.
Speaker 5: I love it, I love it, love love man.
Speaker 4: Listen, y'all are generals and movers and shakers in this
Speaker 4: financial space. Thank you all for your podcast and what
Speaker 4: you're contributing to the community is needed. And I'm just
Speaker 4: happy that I was able to grace y'all's podcast. I
Speaker 4: need to get y'all on my podcast whenever we have time,
Speaker 4: so that way y'all can talk about your new and
Speaker 4: exciting book that's coming up, because we need all the
Speaker 4: information out there that's going to help us win with
Speaker 4: our finances, and so for your community to learn more
Speaker 4: about me and my new book, Take your seat at
Speaker 4: the Table, how to live an authentic life based around abundance,
Speaker 4: wellness and freedom. You can go to Anthony Nail dot
Speaker 4: com and you'll see all the information there on how
Speaker 4: you can register the book and the book is I
Speaker 4: think oftentimes us in the money space, we will write
Speaker 4: like that, hey invest and do this and do that,
Speaker 4: which is a great book. I have that book coming
Speaker 4: out here in about two years. But I want to
Speaker 4: start from the foundation because every wealthy person that I
Speaker 4: am connected to, their mindset is totally different and how
Speaker 4: they position and set up their life. It's a foundation
Speaker 4: of how they build their wealth and how they're able
Speaker 4: to multiply their wealth. And so I took all of
Speaker 4: that information and I turned it in, Hey, how do
Speaker 4: we take a seat at the head of our table?
Speaker 4: How do we take control of our lives and build
Speaker 4: the foundation to build something marvelous and just magnificent on
Speaker 4: and so this book is going to be a life transformation.
Speaker 4: This is the book that allowed me to go from
Speaker 4: seeping in the back of my car to having a
Speaker 4: seventh figure mindset before I had a seventh figure net worth.
Speaker 4: And so I think this is what everyone needs to get.
Speaker 4: And it just meant a lot that you all would
Speaker 4: allow me to come on your show have some fun
Speaker 4: with you all. I do apologize that it was me
Speaker 4: that brought out the discrepancy within this relationship.
Speaker 3: You're bringing to the surface that yeahs, and that's good
Speaker 3: and you're.
Speaker 1: Strong enough to address it. So thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Anthony Grugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. I loved
Speaker 1: that conversation around financial mentorship, something I wish we had
Speaker 1: gotten into. Anthony had to hop on an interview like
Speaker 1: very quickly after ours. But if I could have added
Speaker 1: one more thing, I would have loved to talk about
Speaker 1: how do you become a financial mentor for someone? Because
Speaker 1: I think we need both, right, we need our own
Speaker 1: financial mentors, but we also need to be pouring into
Speaker 1: the people around us in safe spaces and figuring out
Speaker 1: those safe spaces and not be afraid, like to be
Speaker 1: breaking the rules and transcending the rules. Obviously not going
Speaker 1: into early where we're like mentoring people and things we
Speaker 1: don't know what we're talking about. But yeah, getting to
Speaker 1: that point where we are helping our communities learn what
Speaker 1: we have learned.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. And that's an interesting one because I really
Speaker 3: do think, as I'm considering it now, that it should
Speaker 3: be and you should be asked. I think maybe I
Speaker 3: could be swayed in another direction, but I think it
Speaker 3: is better to be approached than to potentially approach and
Speaker 3: be like, I think you need me to speak into
Speaker 3: your life and tell you what to do with things
Speaker 3: that but like offshore. But I think some of it, though,
Speaker 3: is making yourself available for that. Yeah. Something that I've
Speaker 3: been noticing more and more recently is people utilizing our
Speaker 3: Instagram account to reach out with their questions or emails.
Speaker 3: People will respond to the friend letter and just ask
Speaker 3: us quite. I mean, like Anthony said, I think just
Speaker 3: this podcast and the book is something. It is. It
Speaker 3: is a guide, which essentially is what a mentor is,
Speaker 3: but that there still are opportunities to even get more
Speaker 3: individualized and dial in. Of course, we can't give hours
Speaker 3: and hours to everybody, but I do enjoy it and
Speaker 3: it does feel like, Okay, we're able to keep helping
Speaker 3: people to even greater degrees when they're able to reach
Speaker 3: out to us through email or a DM and say
Speaker 3: here's what I'm facing. What are your specific thoughts on this,
Speaker 3: because we're the ones who they've begun to trust, and
Speaker 3: so where else do you go? Then if you've got
Speaker 3: a really specific question, but to the people that you've
Speaker 3: begun to trust and approach them, it's up to us
Speaker 3: to say yes or no. And of course anybody else
Speaker 3: out there who has found themselves in a place where
Speaker 3: they might be able to turn around to the next
Speaker 3: person and help them take the next few steps. What
Speaker 3: we say, what we commit to, what we're willing to do.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think it's a combination of having done
Speaker 3: the thing, having done the work, and making sure people
Speaker 3: know that you are willing to be a resource for
Speaker 3: others and that just comes through connection.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, thank.
Speaker 3: You, well, thank you, yeah, thanks everyone for listening. We
Speaker 3: hope that this was an encouraging one. We hope that
Speaker 3: you are feeling a little bit more motivated and inspired
Speaker 3: to be vulnerable. To find those people in your life
Speaker 3: who you'd love to learn a little bit more from.
Speaker 3: Just ask them. They might say no, but us.
Speaker 1: And remember, vulnerability without protection leads to exploitation, so make
Speaker 1: sure it's a safe person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, well said Jen. Thank you all so much
Speaker 3: for listening, and thank you for those of you who
Speaker 3: have left us a kind review like this one from
Speaker 3: Carolyn and Curtis titled very Helpful and Interesting five stars.
Speaker 3: I just discovered this podcast and listened to the episode
Speaker 3: about getting free stuff. I've been in a bye and
Speaker 3: Nothing group for a couple of years, and their explanation
Speaker 3: of the concept was perfect. I really appreciated all the
Speaker 3: other sources given and the way these two women are friendly,
Speaker 3: super normal and chill, fun, well informed and interesting to
Speaker 3: listen to. Carolyn and Curtis, thank you. Wow are you
Speaker 3: saying this?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Chill, fun, well and for sure super normal, super normal
Speaker 3: and chill. That's what I'm drilling in on, is super normal.
Speaker 3: Anytime somebody says that about me, I'm here for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, Yeah, thank you so much. Guys. If
Speaker 1: you enjoyed the show, please take a minute to leave
Speaker 1: a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It
Speaker 1: helps potential new listeners know what our show is all
Speaker 1: about and that we are super normal and chill.
Speaker 3: See you next time. I love that Anthony thinks that
Speaker 3: there's probably beef here with us, and while I want
Speaker 3: to pretend like there is, we all knew. All of
Speaker 3: us knew, right, even you who are still here listening.
Speaker 3: You're the real deal. You knew I was gonna say Jen,
Speaker 3: Jen was going to say not me. I didn't exactly
Speaker 3: know who it would be, but I knew it wasn't
Speaker 3: gonna be me.
Speaker 1: Ah, you are responsible for my income, Jill. You have
Speaker 1: a positive impact on my finances.
Speaker 3: Now, Yeah, agreed, No, and I need it to be me.
Speaker 3: That's not no. You helped.
Speaker 1: I know you're strong enough, you're super normal enough and
Speaker 1: chill enough that you don't need it to be you,
Speaker 1: because you know how important you are to me.
Speaker 3: Yes, No, yeah, I do. And we're contractually obligated to
Speaker 3: each other, so you are. You can't ruin this thing.
Speaker 3: How we it's how we heat our house.
Speaker 1: Very expensive if I do, if I do mess it up, yeah,
Speaker 1: very expensive. So much like my marriage.
Speaker 3: Listen, we're coming up on seven years. I mean, we're
Speaker 3: still a few months away.
Speaker 1: We just had been seven million downloads.
Speaker 3: Uh huh, we got seven million downloads on the pod,
Speaker 3: probably more than that by this point, but by the
Speaker 3: time this releases, and yeah, we're about to help seven years.
Speaker 3: We do kind of track now at this point, like
Speaker 3: another million for every year that we're that we're doing it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we're in the sevens. We've reached completion and perfection.
Speaker 1: I don't know, we still have like six months before
Speaker 1: we hit our seven year mark.
Speaker 3: Well, it's December now and April January favors. I'm on
Speaker 3: the timeframe of when it really Okay. I'm just saying,
Speaker 3: jen aur aniversary is coming up. You're gonna have to
Speaker 3: think about it, acknowledge it, and don't get itchy.
Speaker 1: I will not get itchy for this reason, I assure you.
Speaker 3: I wonder if the seven year itch applies to businesses
Speaker 3: or if that's only marriages. You said that we are
Speaker 3: kind of married.
Speaker 1: When I had my seventh wedding anniversary, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's the seven year itch, and I didn't feel itchy
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 3: So great, let's hope that that so. I don't think
Speaker 3: I'm going to feel itchy with you. Thank you. Likewise,
Speaker 3: I never got I'm just very chill.
Speaker 1: I'm very normal. I'm very chill, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Not itchy, fun, well informed. Yeah, we're on cloud nine
Speaker 3: with that review.
Speaker 1: I know. It's that's why we love your reviews so much.
Speaker 1: Are you Are you gonna be looking at any Christmas
Speaker 1: lights into anybody's houses windows?
Speaker 3: Not not in the way that you are. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: go that deep like again, I'm not bringing my binoculars,
Speaker 3: but yeah, I am gonna drive around see what I
Speaker 3: can find good.
Speaker 1: What do you think you're gonna find? Lights?
Speaker 3: Maybe a light show? I love those when you can
Speaker 3: pull up and just park outside and tune into the radio.
Speaker 3: It still feels like magic to me how you can
Speaker 3: how radios work and sound waves. I don't understand that
Speaker 3: I can be in front of somebody's house and just
Speaker 3: like tune my car to something and it's coming in
Speaker 3: through the air waves. I think, is that? Am I
Speaker 3: even saying that right? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think it sounds right, sounds right
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I think that's fun. That's my That's one
Speaker 3: of my faves. There's a there's a wild Christmas light
Speaker 3: display not too far from our house that you get
Speaker 3: out of your car and you walk on someone's property.
Speaker 3: It's hinged.
Speaker 1: They doing it knows it's unhinged.
Speaker 3: That's the thing.
Speaker 1: Like if it didn't know it was unhinged by this point,
Speaker 1: they have to know it's unhinged.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been there. There has been there my entire life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thirty five years.
Speaker 3: And it's it's wild. It's a wild experience, but it
Speaker 3: is a it's a stuffy animal.
Speaker 1: Lights, lawn ornaments, things that move, fountain stare at you.
Speaker 3: Trains, doll heads, plexiglass, plexi glass, lots of plexi glass.
Speaker 3: I don't I think it was there before the pandemic.
Speaker 3: It just got more through the pandemic. Yep.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's uh, it's a thing. And I don't think
Speaker 1: I've taken my horse.
Speaker 3: No, sorry, this is boring to you.
Speaker 1: I hit my head, Jill, Okay, I'm yawning. I think
Speaker 1: that stuff happens when you hit your head, so so sorry.
Speaker 3: Okay, well maybe I need it now. Yeah, go rest, Okay, bye,