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See terms and conditions at UNEs dot co. 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:31.560 Hi, this is. 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.399 Joel on Wednesdays, we bring you the best of I 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:50.600 hope you enjoy the podcast. Well, God bless you, and 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:53.240 thanks for letting us come into your homes each week. 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:56.200 We love you guys, and if you're ever in our area, 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.040 please stop buy and be a part of one of 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:00.720 our services. I promise you we'll make you feel right 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:03.080 at home. But thanks so much for tuning in, and 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:05.600 thank you again for coming out. And I like to 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:08.440 start with something funny and I heard about this pastor. 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:11.959 He was raising money for a new auditorium. He said 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:15.840 to the congregation, anyone who will give one thousand dollars 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:19.840 can pick out the next three hymns. Little old lady 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.359 in the back raised her hand, said, Pastor, I'll do it. 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:25.639 He was so excited. He said, thank you so much. Now, 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:28.560 which three hymns would you like? She looked over the 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:29.880 congregation said I'll. 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:31.480 Take him, and him and him. 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:35.240 Hold up your Bible. Say it like you mean it. 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:38.519 This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.280 I have what it says I have. I can do 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:43.880 what it says I can do. Today I will be 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:47.640 talked the word of God. I boldly confess. My mind 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:50.880 is alert, my heart is receptive. I will never be 0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:55.639 the same. In Jesus' name, God bless you. I want 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:59.200 to talk to you today about activating the right genes. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.560 We receive our DNA from our parents. 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:05.960 These genes that are passed down tell us what we're 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:08.359 going to look like, how tall we're going to be, 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:12.240 what color our hair is. People tell us often that 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.359 our son Jonathan has his mother's eyes. 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:17.399 He looks just like Victoria. 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:23.160 I say, thank God, not only our physical traits passed 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:28.639 down through genes, but even personality traits, our demeanor, our attitude, 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:32.720 our sense of humor. Our daughter Alexandra is very neat 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.720 and organized. From the time she was a little girl, 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:41.160 she kept her room perfectly clean, everything in place, spotless. 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.840 We never asked her to do that. That trait came 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:46.000 from my grandfather. 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:49.360 He was the same way. My mother is like that, 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:50.920 and now our daughter. 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:55.480 It's been passed down for four generations. Somewhere there's a 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.800 gene that says, be neat, be organized, keep everything perfectly 0:03:58.840 --> 0:03:59.400 in place. 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:01.920 But just as good. 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:07.480 Characteristics can be passed down, so can negative characteristics. If 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.720 one of your parents was an alcoholic, there's a ten 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.880 times greater chance of you becoming an alcoholic. And for 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:19.880 years we thought, well, too bad, it's in my genes. Depression, addictions, 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:23.120 low self esteem, nothing I can do about it. But 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:28.280 recently researchers have discovered something they call epigenetics. 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:31.880 That word means on top of the genes. 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:36.159 What they found is, just because a gene has been 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:37.279 passed down. 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:40.200 Does it mean that it has to be activated. 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:44.840 It can be affected by your decisions, by your environment, 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:49.880 and by your experiences. Now, while we cannot deactivate what 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:52.640 color of hair will be or the shape of our eyes, 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:57.200 there are certain genes that we can in effect turn 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:02.400 on or turn off, governing what the scripture says that 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:06.320 just because you inherit something doesn't mean you have to 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:11.240 pass it down. You can deactivate the negative genes that 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:14.480 have been passed down to you. In other words, just 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:18.080 because your mother was depressed doesn't mean you're supposed to 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:22.480 be depressed. You may have a natural tendency toward that. 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:27.440 What you have to do is turn off that gene deactivated, 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:29.440 don't pass it down to your children. 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:32.360 It's easy to use it as an excuse. 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:37.040 Well, mama was depressed, grandmother was negative. Great grandmother was 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:40.120 a complainer. Joel, that's just who I am. Now, that 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:42.599 is not who you are. You are a child of 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:46.240 the Most High God. And just as you got your 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:50.720 physical DNA from your earthly parents, you got your spiritual 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:55.240 DNA from your heavenly Father. He put in you genes 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:59.440 of joy, genes of strength, genes of peace, genes of victory. 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:04.440 Now you get to choose which genes come alive. You 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.560 may have had a lot of negative baggage pass down 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:12.480 to you in your family line or addictions, divorce, depression, 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:17.280 low self esteem. Don't be passive and just accept it. 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:20.640 God has raised you up to put an end to it. 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.480 You got to draw the line in the sand and 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:27.480 say that's it. I'm turning off the depressed gene. I 0:06:27.520 --> 0:06:30.240 am not going to live my life discourage. This is 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.720 the day the Lord has made. I am going to 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:37.039 choose to be happy. What are you doing deactivating the 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:38.240 depressed gene. 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:39.280 You're turning it off. 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.960 Why don't you turn off the negative gene, turn off 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:46.239 the alcoholic gene, turn off the self pity gene. 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:47.599 This is a new day. 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:53.640 Don't blame the past, blame mama, blame granddaddy. Take responsibility 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:57.840 and start activating the right genes. If you'll start making 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:03.200 right choices, you can and override the negative things you inherited. 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:07.800 You can break a generational curse. You have the power 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:10.160 not only to put an end to it, but you 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:14.760 can start a generational blessing. You can pass down things 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:18.600 that will make it easier on your loved ones. After all, 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:23.040 our children have enough to overcome without carrying around all of. 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.640 Our negative baggage. Even if you don't. 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:28.760 Do it, for yourself, do it for your children, Do 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:31.720 it to make it easier on those that come after you. 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:36.560 The scripture calls this negative baggage and iniquity, and it 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:40.040 talks about how it can be passed down for four generations. 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.720 The things you struggle with, they didn't just happen to 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:48.000 show up. Somebody in your family line opened the door. 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:52.080 I talked to a young lady that deals with anorexia. 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.600 She's skin and bones. She told how. 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:59.480 Her mother has the same problem. Her grandmother struggled with 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:03.800 it as well. That's not a coincidence. That is an 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:09.240 iniquity being passed from generation to generation. It will continue 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:13.160 until somebody rises up and puts a stop to it. 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:18.200 Somebody has to deactivate that gene. And God said in 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:23.720 Deuteronomy chapter thirty, I set before you life and death, 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:29.720 blessing and curses. Choose life so that you and your 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:34.880 descendants will live. Notice your decisions don't just affect you, 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:37.719 they affect future generations. 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.640 No man lives and dies unto himself. 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.800 We've heard a lot about the generational curse, but what's 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:51.440 more important is our generational choice. Every right choice you make, 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:54.680 you start to override the wrong choices. 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:56.200 Of those that have gone before you. 0:08:56.840 --> 0:09:00.600 When you choose life, you choose blessing, you choose the victory, 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:04.960 You and your descendants will see God's favor. I was 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:08.920 reading about the famous author Ernest Hemingway. While he was 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:12.080 one of the greatest writers of his day, his family 0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:14.480 had a long line of depression. 0:09:14.480 --> 0:09:16.679 Alcoholism, and suicide. 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:21.679 Hemingway took his own life in nineteen sixty one. His 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:26.839 sister committed suicide five years later. His brother committed suicide 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:30.960 sixteen years after that. His granddaughter did the same thing 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:32.400 in nineteen ninety six. 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:35.200 What's interesting is. 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:40.520 Hemingway's father took his life in nineteen twenty eight. I 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:44.280 was wondering what would have happened way back there in 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:50.040 the twenties if the father would have deactivated the suicide gene. 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:52.959 What if he would have risen up and said, no, 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.760 I've been made in the image of Almighty God. 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:58.080 I have a purpose and a destiny. 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.800 I am shaking off these negative, defeated thoughts. I know 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:05.240 the power in me is greater than any force coming 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:09.000 against me. If he would have taken authority over that 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:15.120 negative spirit and instead activated the faith gene, the victory gene, 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.400 the more than a conquered gene. He could have changed 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:22.400 his family line. He could have broken the generational curse 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:26.880 and started a generational blessing. You may be at that 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:30.440 same place today. You could easily settle where you are, 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:34.240 let the negative genes get passed down, make it harder 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.480 on those that come after you. Or you could make 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.679 a much better choice and say no, enough is enough. 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:46.000 I am not going to live my life addicted, angry, defeated, depressed. 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:50.439 I am not passing down that negative baggage. I'm choosing life. 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:53.960 I'm choosing blessings. I'm gonna make choices that help my 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:58.400 family and not hinder them. One time in the scripture, 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:03.959 God told Saul to go and destroy the Amalekites, to 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:07.760 totally wipe them out. Saul and his army went out 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:12.040 and they defeated the Amalekites, but they spared the king. 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:15.360 They captured him. He was King Agag. 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:20.080 Fast forward hundreds of years, Esther is in the palace. 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:23.160 A man by the name of Hayman is trying to 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:23.719 get rid of. 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:25.120 Her and all of her people. 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:30.199 It says that Hayman was an Agite, and Agite is 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:34.360 a descendant of King a Gag if Saul would have 0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.520 taken care of his enemy when God gave him the 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:41.319 power to do it, Esther wouldn't be having this problem 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:45.240 five hundred years later. Could it be that if you 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:48.520 don't put an end to what you're dealing with, your 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:51.840 family will still be struggling with it hundreds of years 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:55.880 from now. God is saying, this is your time, This 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:59.800 is your moment. Your destiny is calling out to you. 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.080 The can either put up with it and let it 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:05.680 conquer you, or you can say no. The same power 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.640 that raised Christ from the dead lives on the inside 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:08.840 of me. 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:10.760 I will conquer this addiction. 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:15.000 I will conquer this depression, this low self esteem. 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:17.599 I will not allow. 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.520 It to linger for future generations to have to deal 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:25.760 with friends. You were never created to live addicted and angry, 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:30.559 constantly having to struggle. Those genes may have been passed down, 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:35.080 but you have the power to break negative cycles. They 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.640 may have been in your family for hundreds of years, 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:41.080 But when you gave your life to Christ, you became 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:44.800 a new creation. He put new genes in you. You 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:49.160 have the DNA of Almighty God. There is strength in 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:52.920 your genes, There is power in your genes. There is 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:54.720 freedom in your genes. 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.640 Now, don't settle where you are. God join. 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:01.040 Everybody in my family gets divorced. Looks like I'm headed 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:06.679 that way. Everybody struggles with these addictions. Everybody has financial problems. No, 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:10.960 here's the catch. You're not everybody. God has called you 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:16.120 to put an end to it. You are equipped, empowered, 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:17.400 and well able. 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:20.079 This is what the prophet is. 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:25.520 Ezekiel said an interesting scripture, the fathers ate the sour grapes. 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:29.959 Now the children's teeth are set on edge. As long 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.679 as I live, declares the sovereign Lord, you will no 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:35.560 longer quote this. 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:37.680 This was a proverb they were living by. 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:42.480 Their attitude was since the father had problems, the children 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:45.600 will as well. Nothing we can do about it. Since 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:50.040 the father ate the sour grapes, since the parents had addictions, 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:54.000 Since the grandparents were depressed, then the children will struggle 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:55.160 in those same areas. 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:56.599 That was their philosophy. 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.200 Then God showed up and said through his zee, stop 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:05.040 saying that. Why do you keep using your relatives as 0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:08.720 an excuse? Why do you keep using what your parents 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:12.280 did and the way you were raised as the reason 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:16.160 to stay where you are? As long as the sovereign 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:20.000 Lord lives. You don't have to be held bondage by 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:24.000 the negative things in your past. In other words, your 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:27.960 parents may have eaten the sour grapes. Your relatives may 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:31.360 have made decisions that put you at a disadvantage, but 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:35.600 God is saying it doesn't have to affect you. It 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:38.720 may have held you back temporarily, but this is a 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:44.040 new day. If you will start deactivating those genes pressing forward, 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:48.000 then all the forces of darkness cannot hold you back. 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:52.400 You don't have to eat the sour grapes. You've been redeemed. 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.240 You're not under the curse. You're under the blessing. You 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.400 have stepped into a new bloodline. And the good news 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.920 is there's no defeat in this bloodline. There's no lack, 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.520 no addictions, no mediocrity. You are a child of the 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:09.400 most High God. Now I am here to announce that 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.680 the Sovereign Lord is still alive. 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:15.680 God is still on the throne. That means you don't 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:19.200 have to eat to sour grapes. Now our part, shake 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:20.120 off the self. 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:23.560 Pity, don't make excuses, don't blame the past, don't blame 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:26.120 your parents, don't blame your circumstances. 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:28.280 That may be the reason. 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:30.880 You are where you are, but that doesn't give you 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:34.240 the right to stay there. Start dealing with the issues 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:37.720 that are holding you back. Start activating the right Jesus. 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:41.240 That's what a good friend of mine did. He was 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.440 raised in a very dysfunctional home. His father was an 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:46.920 alcoholic and he would get very violent. 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:49.600 He saw him mistreat his mother. 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:53.480 Be disrespectful, and go off into these fits of rage. 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.760 He ended up just like his father. He was a 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.880 drug addict and living a very violent, angry life. In 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:04.240 his late twenties, he gave his life to Christ had 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:05.600 this major turnaround. 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:07.120 Long story short. 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:10.960 He became the pastor of a church, very well respected man, 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.600 a large church. He'd go around the world sharing his story. 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.040 But what people didn't know is he still had an 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:22.200 anger problem. God set him free from the addictions, the drugs, 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:25.000 the alcohol, but the anger never left. 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.560 He didn't show it out in public, but at home, 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:30.400 nobody was around. 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:34.160 The smallest things would set him off, just like his father, 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.320 he would go into these fits of rage. He too, 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:40.680 was very abusive to his wife. He didn't like it, 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:44.000 he knew it was wrong, but he couldn't control himself. 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:48.120 He wanted to get help, but he was too embarrassed. Thought, 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:51.240 I can't tell anybody, the pastor of a church, what 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:54.600 would they think about me. I'm supposed to be an example, 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:58.280 but this is where we miss it. Just because you're 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:01.880 dealing with a tough issue doesn't make you a bad person. 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:06.680 Most likely somebody in your family line opened the door. 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:11.520 Somebody allowed that iniquity, and they refuse to deal with it. 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.800 Don't be like then, don't sweep it under the rug, 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:16.959 ignore it, hope that it'll go away. 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:18.920 That'll keep you in bondage. 0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:24.520 James five point sixteen says, confess your faults one to another, 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:28.120 and you will be healed. Do you know there are 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:32.719 some issues you cannot overcome on your own. You have 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:36.640 to swallow your pride and find somebody you can trust, 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:41.160 pastor a counselor a friend. Tell them what you're dealing with, 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.040 Let them pray with you, stand with you, and bring 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:48.359 accountability into your life. When you get it out in 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:49.760 the open and say God, I. 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:51.240 Need help with this anger. 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:55.200 When you take steps to overcome you intend to celebrate 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:59.600 recovery classes. That's when the scripture says you will be healed. 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:04.120 You don't have to keep eating the sour grapes. That's 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:06.359 what my friend did today. He is one of the 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:09.679 most kind, most gentle people you'll ever meet. 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:10.399 What did he do. 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:15.240 He broke the generational curse. He chose life so his 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:17.000 children won't have to deal with it. 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:19.400 He deactivated that gene. 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:22.920 It's still in him. It was passed down, but it's 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:27.400 not affecting him. There is no addiction that is too 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:31.800 much for you to overcome, no iniquity, nothing that has 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.480 been passed down has to keep you from your God 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:38.440 given destiny. The power in you is greater than any 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:42.119 power that's coming against you. Now, don't do like he 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:46.440 did at first, and learn to function in your dysfunction. 0:18:47.480 --> 0:18:51.439 God didn't create you to have issues and things you 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:54.840 have to hide and feel bad about yourself. He created 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:57.920 you to be totally free. But some of you, like 0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:03.040 my friend, what you saw growing up wasn't healthy. It's 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:06.840 easy to think that that's normal. Maybe your parents didn't 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:10.119 show much affection to you, and now you're not showing 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:14.240 much affection to your children, or maybe there was violence, anger, 0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:20.120 disrespect in the home. Don't pass that down, deactivate that gene. 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:24.280 Be affectionate to your children well joel, I'm a man. 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:27.560 I don't hug my son, after all, he's grown. Now, 0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:30.360 let me tell you, a real man still hugs his son. 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:35.879 A real man treats his wife with respect and honor. 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:36.760 Men. 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:41.159 The scripture says that your wife is a reflection. 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:42.719 Of your glory. 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.199 If she's beaten down, discourage, worn out, then you're not 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:50.200 shining too brightly. She's reflecting your glory. You need to 0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.639 step it up a notch. Do something to put the 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:55.800 spring back in her step, the smile back in her face. 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:59.280 Take her to the mall, buy her something new, send 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:01.760 her some flower, write her a note, Tell her how 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:06.560 great she is. The brighter she shines, the better you look. 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:09.359 That's why I keep Victoria looking fine. She makes me 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:14.480 look good. But don't go to them all today. 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:20.639 Okay, another thought, fathers, your daughter is going to marry 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:24.960 somebody just like you. If you treat your wife lousy, 0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:27.480 don't give her the time of day, put her down. 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:30.280 That's the kind of man your daughter is going to 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:35.560 be attracted to. Our children follow our example more than 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:40.359 they follow our advice. They're constantly taking everything in. They're 0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:43.960 like a video camera with legs. They're always in the 0:20:44.040 --> 0:20:48.080 record mode. They're watching how you treat people. When you 0:20:48.160 --> 0:20:51.880 treat your wife like a queen, you give her compliments, 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:54.720 encourage her when you bring her coffee in bed, you 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:57.120 open the car door, you bring her gifts. You make 0:20:57.160 --> 0:20:59.919 her feel loved, valued, respected on her. 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:03.280 Listen, your daughter is going to marry a winner. Your 0:21:03.359 --> 0:21:05.159 daughter will marry somebody. 0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:05.280 Just like that. 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:10.520 Now, you may not have seen this growing up. You 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:13.719 may have seen just the opposite. What I'm saying today 0:21:14.280 --> 0:21:17.760 is you can set a new standard. Choose life, choose honor, 0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:22.880 choose respect. Pass that down to future generations. A few 0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:26.399 years back, we were on vacation at this very nice 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:30.000 hotel with our family, and it was a large place 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:33.000 and the rooms were spread out all over the property, 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:37.119 very beautiful. When we first arrived, the bellman took us 0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:41.359 to our room down this long winding sidewalk. He had 0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:44.800 to curve around through these bungalows and over this bridge 0:21:44.840 --> 0:21:46.600 and around this big lake. 0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:48.400 We finally made it to our room. 0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:51.359 It was very complicated how to get there, so I 0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:52.840 paid close attention. 0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:56.040 A few nights later, we were leaving. 0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:58.880 The lobby just eating dinner, and we were walking back 0:21:58.920 --> 0:22:02.919 to our hotel room our son, Jonathan. He was about 0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:05.200 ten at the time. He said, Dad, you know we're 0:22:05.240 --> 0:22:10.320 taking the long way. It's much quicker this way. I said, no, Jonathan, 0:22:10.600 --> 0:22:14.040 I paid close attention. This is the way the bellman 0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:14.640 took us. 0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:16.159 This is the right way. 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:19.359 He said, no, Dad, I'm telling you this way is quicker. 0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.480 I said, Jonathan, I am positive this is the right way. 0:22:23.160 --> 0:22:26.000 For the next couple of days, we always went my way. 0:22:26.480 --> 0:22:29.960 Each time Jonathan said, Dad, we're going the long way again. No, 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:33.280 we're not, Jonathan, this is the right way. The last 0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:35.919 day Jonathan said, Dad, can we go my way? At 0:22:36.000 --> 0:22:38.160 least once? I said, all right, we'll go your way. 0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:43.200 And Jonathan let us down these stairs through this narrow passageway, 0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:48.159 and our room was right there. I promise you it 0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:51.439 was probably one hundred yards closer than the way we 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:54.520 had been going. I said, Jonathan, why didn't you tell me? 0:22:56.800 --> 0:22:59.720 Come to find out, the bellman had taken us the 0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:02.960 law long scenic route so we could see the whole property. 0:23:03.160 --> 0:23:04.320