1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,920 Speaker 1: Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I and Matt. 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: I'm Emily, I'm Kate. Yah. So we're having a money 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:28,159 Speaker 1: conversation with our partners today. That's right. We've done one 4 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: of these episodes and a couple of times before. At 5 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: this point, it's like a vacation tradition, maybe a way 6 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: for us to include some vacation expenses, uh as a expenses. 7 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,279 Speaker 1: But yeah, so we are at the beach currently as 8 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: we're recording this, and literally we just put the kids down. 9 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,480 Speaker 1: We're out at the beach all morning, came back, hosed 10 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: them off, through them in their rooms for for for 11 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: quiet time, gently placed them in their room. Yeah, I 12 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: don't know, we're kind of were on. We've got like 13 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes to record this before we have to get 14 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: to some other things. But yeah, specifically, I wanted to 15 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,279 Speaker 1: mention how great it is, like how much money we 16 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: are able to save by um vacationing together, right because 17 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: the house that we're staying in like this, I mean 18 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: maybe we would be able to find something like this 19 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: for our family, but we would end up paying something 20 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 1: like two thousand dollars, right, and probably the same thing 21 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: for y'all right, but we can bind forces and you know, 22 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,919 Speaker 1: you find a house for a week for three thousand 23 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 1: dollars and we save a thousand dollars and you know, 24 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: baby's gotta sleep in a closet or something like that, 25 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: but it all works out. Uh, that is actually what's happening. Yeah, 26 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: I gotta use max efficiency on the space. But yeah, 27 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: today we're gonna just have like this wide ranging conversation. 28 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 1: We're gonna kind of talk with our wives about money, 29 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: their money stories, um, and kind of like, man, I 30 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: feel like money stories are so powerful, um and so yeah, 31 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: I think just kind of like what it was like 32 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: for us coming together when it comes to money. So 33 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: let's introduce our wives here. My wife is Emily. We've 34 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: been married for ten years, and Emily, UM, we I 35 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: feel like we've finally begun to deal well with money. 36 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: So I might take it a little bit of time, 37 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: but thanks for joining us today. Yeah, and to my 38 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: left is my wife Kate. And you you said how 39 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: long you've been married. I was like quickly doing the math, 40 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 1: and we've been married for fourteen years. I think by 41 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: the time this episode comes out. Yeah, but first, hey, 42 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: let's go ahead mention. So we are actually sharing a 43 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: beer on this episode. This is a beer by the 44 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: Veil collaboration with Omnipolo, and it's called tef nut Uh 45 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: And we will share our thoughts on this beer at 46 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: the end of the episode. Yeah, um, I can already 47 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: tell you it's smoothie style thick. So yeah, we'll see 48 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: how this one, which yeah, isn't necessarily what the wives 49 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: were maybe looking for. But man, over the course of 50 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: nearly four undered episodes, like everyone out there, like you 51 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: might have a pretty good idea of our views of 52 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: mine and Joel's views of our history with money, but 53 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: you definitely have less insight into the money history of 54 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: our wives, and you know what that meant for our 55 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: relationship as well. So we've had the mom like we 56 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: said before, and they've answered some personal questions, but today 57 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: they're going to be able to tell their more their 58 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: full money stories. We don't think that everything that that 59 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: we've done is perfect, but we're hoping that hearing our 60 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: experiences might help provide some direction when it comes to 61 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: talking about money with your partner. And so Kate, let's 62 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: kick it off with you time. Yeah, can you kind 63 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 1: of tell your history a little bit when it comes 64 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: to money, like, what was an early money memory that 65 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 1: maybe left an impact on you. So, growing up, my 66 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: family was pretty open about talking about money. My parents 67 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: were clear about, you know, you don't spend more than 68 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,799 Speaker 1: you make and be frugal in general. So that's a 69 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: good place to start. Yeah, I kind of grew up 70 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: similar to where we are now. But one of the 71 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: things that I think that was really interesting that my 72 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: parents did was really encouraged my brother and I to 73 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: start small businesses along the way, even when we were 74 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: really young, they were encouraging us to do that. So, 75 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 1: I don't know, you've probably told the story of you 76 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: selling golf balls at the golf course. I don't know 77 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: if I have. Actually, I think everyone knows you worked 78 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: at a golf course as Yeah, so I worked at 79 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: the golf course. But even before that, I grew up. 80 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: Me and my buddy George and Travis sometimes do you 81 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: as a couple years younger, but we would go digging 82 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: through the woods for arrant golf balls, clean them and 83 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: sell them back to the golfers who were hitting them 84 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: into the woods. Um, my parents were just really encouraging 85 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: of my brother and I starting businesses. So I oh, 86 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: my brother started a lawn business when he was fifteen, 87 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: had a couple of employees and ended up passing that 88 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: off when he moved on to college. And I um 89 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: made and sold jewelry. I had some we did some 90 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: like house party stuff back then that was a thing, 91 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:32,600 Speaker 1: and also sold it some local boutique kind of stores 92 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: in in downtown Greenville. So we were really encouraged to 93 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: look at money through that way, like how can you 94 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: proactively pursue money so that you can do with it 95 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,039 Speaker 1: what you wanted to be able to do. So my 96 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: parents were really generous. They did support us and let 97 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: give they paid for what we needed, but for things 98 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: that we did not need. They encouraged us to um 99 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: go out and make her own money and did not 100 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 1: really encourage us to get job jobs. Yeah, so you're 101 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: so when you said that they covered what you needed 102 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: so like basic clothes you know, yeah, yeah, backpack and stuff. Yeah, 103 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: they did not pay rent. They covered like, you know, 104 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: we played soccer, Dane and I did, and so they 105 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 1: covered you know, supplies that we needed for that and 106 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: for school and you know, some fun things too for sure. 107 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,359 Speaker 1: But when it came to Dan wanting some kind of 108 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: extreme sporting gear or me wanting I don't even remember 109 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 1: what I spent my money on back then, but oh, 110 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: mostly just snacks, A lot of stacks back then. So 111 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 1: high school, Yeah, high school, Okay, you must get to 112 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: your bars Coca cola. That was between I went to 113 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: different school between the two schools, Like I didn't notice 114 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: about you, but I always got snacks between the two 115 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: schools that I went to when I was commuting from 116 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: one school to another. So I spent a lot of 117 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,840 Speaker 1: money on that. But I made that money myself and 118 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: burned it. So why why do you think your parents 119 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: encourage you to pursue entrepreneurship over becoming like a aditional 120 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: employee Because it says like you, both you and your 121 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: brother started your own thing and we're making money that way, 122 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: as opposed to go into the local grocery store or 123 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: fast food restaurant to get a job. Sure, I don't 124 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: really know. I think that's actually a question I should 125 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: probably ask them, but if I don't want to put 126 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: words in their mouth. But I think possibly because my 127 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: parents or my dad at that point was still working 128 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: like a pretty corporate job that um it was a 129 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: great job. In some ways and in some ways it 130 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: really wasn't and there was a lot of flexibility there. 131 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: There wasn't a lot of room for growth. And I 132 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,159 Speaker 1: think that that's something that he wanted for us. Um 133 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: since then, Dad has retired and is doing sort of 134 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 1: his own thing now. He has his own business now, 135 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: so um, yeah, I think it was the flexibility piece 136 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,599 Speaker 1: of it and just the drive piece of it, where 137 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: if you work harder, you see that immediately in your 138 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: what you earn. One of the things I remember about 139 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: your brother when we first started dating we go home 140 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: to visit was that he had this old, beat up 141 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:01,799 Speaker 1: pickup truck that he would use for his law business. 142 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,719 Speaker 1: And I remember that standing out, just like, oh wow, 143 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 1: he he has a separate truck that he used to 144 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: cut lawns. Because I think he was only like yeah, 145 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: I mean it wasn't by the way, when we say truck, 146 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: literally it was the smallest pickup truck I've ever seen 147 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 1: in my life, and the most rundown pickup truck as well, 148 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: but he was able to move lawn mooars around. That's 149 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: that's really when he needed to do. Okay, let's talk 150 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: about I want to just ask the question about us, 151 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: you and me, Like, what do you think was the 152 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: biggest money obstacle that you and I that we needed 153 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: to overcome when we got married, when we first combined 154 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: our money, Uh, because you were right out of school 155 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 1: and I had kind of been on my own for 156 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: you know, like a year or so. But is there 157 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: something that stands out is something that we needed to 158 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: address pretty head on? Yes, I do think that right 159 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: off the bat, going straight from my parents supporting me 160 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: to us being married, one of the things we had 161 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: to address right away was that I felt the need 162 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: to justify anything I wanted to do or spend money on, 163 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 1: just because I mean, my parents were very reasonable and 164 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: if I needed extra money for something, I could explain 165 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: to them when I needed it for sort of justify 166 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: and explain it and they would be like okay or no, 167 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: that's not okay. So realizing that that's not the relationship 168 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: that we had and I had to somehow make the 169 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: shift in my head to like ownership of this money 170 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 1: and we can both make decisions next to each other 171 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: together rather than somebody telling me yes or no, you 172 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: can or can't do this. Yah, of all your great reasons, 173 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: it's great reasons. Well, so, I mean you and I 174 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: we talked about it together. You know, it's it's something 175 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 1: that we addressed together. And we would talk about our 176 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: money together. Um, I didn't know if you were going 177 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: to talk about the budget because I mean we started 178 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: budgeting early on, and it's like, when it dawned on 179 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 1: us that this was essentially how you were going to 180 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 1: be able to find some freedom with your spending, Can 181 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: you talk about that some? Sure? I think budgeting was 182 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: a big part of our relationship, not necessarily my upbringing, 183 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: because my upbringing was basically like I'm gonna spend as 184 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 1: little as they can, um, And so coming into marriage, 185 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: I felt like I needed to spend as little as 186 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: I could. But then I would like talk to you 187 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 1: about every single purchase and it was kind of stressful. 188 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: And so budgeting sort of freed us both up to 189 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 1: have fewer conversations about money, and it for it not 190 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 1: to really control our relationship or dominate our conversations like 191 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: it did right when we first got married. So once 192 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: there was a pot and it had X amount of 193 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: money in it, and that all went to whatever I 194 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 1: wanted to spend it on, like grocery or if it 195 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: went to like house or whatever. I felt the freedom 196 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: to just do that without conversation, without reasons, and so 197 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 1: budgeting was super helpful and super freeing for me. Yeah, yeah, 198 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,559 Speaker 1: I love that because I think a lot of times 199 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:49,559 Speaker 1: when folks hear others talking about budgeting, it sounds like 200 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: this thing that you're handcuffed to write, like it's something 201 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 1: that you don't have control over, or something that's telling 202 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: you what to do. But well, in one sense, it 203 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: is true, because it is telling you what to do, 204 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: but it's you the telling yourself what to do. It's 205 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: just you proactively deciding what future were you is going 206 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 1: to do? Is essentially and we I don't know. I 207 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: love that we were able to have those conversations just 208 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: decide how much we're going to spend, and then that 209 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: meant all the pittally like small nickel and dime kind 210 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,559 Speaker 1: of conversations we didn't necessarily have to have. We had 211 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: a lot of amount, and then we could spend our 212 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 1: time talking about other things. I guess good music, you know, 213 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: it makes no matter or or like a new business, 214 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: because I mean early on a lot of our time, 215 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,440 Speaker 1: I mean, for better or worse, we launched a business 216 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: right after we got married, and I think that's that's 217 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:36,199 Speaker 1: what I remember a lot of our conversation revolving around 218 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 1: it probably wasn't the best thing for our relationship, but 219 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 1: looking back, like, how do you think that we were 220 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: able to weather some of those financial storms? Like what 221 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: did that look like to you looking back? Well, we 222 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: had talked a little bit before this episode about bringing 223 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 1: possibly bringing this up, and the only thing I could 224 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: think of over and over was like we crashed together, 225 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,599 Speaker 1: like we, I mean we it was really hard to 226 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: start it is and see other straight at straight out 227 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: of the gate up. For me, it was straight out 228 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: of college and straight into a marriage and into a 229 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:09,199 Speaker 1: new city and literally there was nothing that was stable 230 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,839 Speaker 1: in your life. Doing all the hard things at once, 231 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: strip off the band aid, and learn it all, and 232 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: that's what we did. We Yeah, we just did it 233 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: all at once. So that means there were some spectacular 234 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: crashes and arguments, and we're both in those together. So 235 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 1: I actually think that it was probably good for our relationship. 236 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: Even though it was really hard, we made it through. 237 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 1: So I guess that's that's the good names. There was 238 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,199 Speaker 1: some years, um, but I mean I think that I 239 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: wouldn't recommend that to anybody, but that is what our 240 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: story is. And we both had a background and starting 241 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: businesses before. We were really driven to the same goals 242 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 1: like we were starting a business because we had shared 243 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: goals of flexibility and autonomy and that is that's what 244 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 1: we just decided to do. So it was hard, but 245 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: like we had shared goals and we're able to kind 246 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: of remind each other of out along the way. I 247 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: think that was really helpful. It's something we do now 248 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: in other areas of our life, having learned it trial 249 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 1: a fire. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, like you said, getting 250 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 1: on the same page, having a shared goal that you're 251 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 1: both striving towards, I think can make all the different 252 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 1: storms and different things that we have to weather. It's 253 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,960 Speaker 1: not that it makes it worth it, but you have 254 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: a reason, right, because if you don't know what that 255 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 1: goal is and you're not on the same page as 256 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: a couple, it's going to be really difficult to make 257 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: those sacrifices because it's like, Okay, well what are we 258 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: even doing this for, right If you haven't identified something 259 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: that you're both that you both have set before you 260 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: and so yeah, I think that's that's really important. Well, 261 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: I just say, I just love everything that you're saying 262 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: about budget and I feel like that that's been true 263 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: that one of the biggest things we've struggled with is 264 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: figuring out a budget because you're kind of anti Joel's 265 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 1: anti budgeting. I was. I used to be anti budget. 266 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: I still am not the biggest fan of budgeting, but 267 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: I've got to appreciate it, mostly because I think Matt, 268 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: you know, Matt and Kate's philosophy makes a lot of 269 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 1: sense to me. But initially I was just anti spending. Well, 270 00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: it sounds like a lot like Kates folks, maybe like 271 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 1: basically spend as little as possible at all times. I 272 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: just keep pouring more money into Yeah, well that's where 273 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 1: budgeting helped, because I mean that's when I tumbled into marriage. 274 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: You know, I'm not a big spender naturally, so I 275 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: was pretty fugural. But then it's like the decisions we 276 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: were making didn't make sense until I realized, oh, Droll 277 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,679 Speaker 1: makes every decision based on whether or not it's like 278 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,199 Speaker 1: cheap and a good deal. So you know, if he 279 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: wants new blue jeans, it's fine if he buys like 280 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 1: seven pairs because they were like two dollars, you know, 281 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 1: but if I want a nice pair of shoes, I've 282 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 1: had a look at seven different places to find them. 283 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,720 Speaker 1: So it was I didn't understand our budget. I didn't 284 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: understand why we were doing that. And I will say 285 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: I liked what you said about having a vision for 286 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: what you're trying to spend, because I think that's when 287 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 1: our budget got realistic, Like it wasn't. Like for a while, 288 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: we did every single line like let's make it as 289 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 1: cheap as possible and because that's the ideal and that's 290 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: the goal, and then it never worked. Like literally, we've 291 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: made so many budgets that never worked. I think we 292 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 1: finally like started click, like what do we want for 293 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 1: our family? What do we want to spend this money on? 294 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: What's realistic exactly? So then we kind of expanded some 295 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 1: categories and got rid of others, and then I felt 296 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: so less stressed, because you know, sometimes I just want 297 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: to buy something that's more expensive. I just want to 298 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: buy something that I've not had to research ten other 299 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 1: spots to get there. But I didn't have to justify it, 300 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: you know, through the ideal of making it as cheap 301 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 1: as possible. It was in the budget, so it was great. 302 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 1: And I think I think being an anti budget or 303 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 1: works if you're single and you're incredibly frugal, but I 304 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 1: don't think it works for most people. And I think 305 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: especially when you have to get on the same page 306 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: with somebody that you love, when you have a long 307 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: term partner, like budgeting is crucial to that because yeah, 308 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 1: that there are certain things that that we feel like 309 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: when someone else spends, especially if you're putting your money 310 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 1: together like Emily and we have our money pulled together. 311 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 1: Everything that we earned goes into one account um and 312 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,040 Speaker 1: that we spend out of, and so it can be like, well, 313 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: that's both of our money, and you decided to spend 314 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: on that. But if it's in the budget and we've 315 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 1: talked about it ahead of time, then no conversations had 316 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: to be have to be had. And I think that 317 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: but it's crucial for us. You have to hone in 318 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: on what is the goal of the budget. And I 319 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 1: think for so long, our goal was to spend as 320 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 1: little as possible, and my goal was to feel like 321 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: I wasn't confused all the time why it was Okay, 322 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: I spent money in here, but it wasn't okay here, 323 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: And I think that's where vision for what why you're 324 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: creating the budget is so important. It's not just to 325 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: not spend money right, right, You're putting it towards something, 326 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: And I think you're right. I mean, I think that's 327 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,760 Speaker 1: one of the downsides too of being someone who was 328 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: kind of the anti budget was it was hard to know, well, 329 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: what am I saving for? What are these goals? And 330 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 1: we in like developing those goals together gave us reasons 331 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 1: to spend money now as opposed to just trying to 332 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 1: save or invest as much as possible. So yeah, I 333 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: mean I think that was. Yeah, that was something you 334 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: and I had to grow into for sure, and it 335 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: took a while, right, and we're still I will still 336 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 1: say this, we're still learning how to do that well. Also, 337 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 1: like we're not perfect that we've been married ten years 338 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: and I'm sure we'll still continue to grow into what 339 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: it looks like to budget well together, but we're way 340 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,120 Speaker 1: better than than the start, a very light knocking like. 341 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: And also it just makes sense from just a practical standpoint, 342 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: right because in your hedge, well like you can you're 343 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: very good at juggling a lot of different numbers and 344 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: things in your mind, but it's probably really difficult for 345 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: Emily to read your mind. Uh, And so having that 346 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: on paper is you know, having that as something that 347 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: you can both go to and look and check. That's 348 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, that's another reason why I think we've 349 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 1: found it really helpful to Emily. We want to get 350 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 1: more into your story and kind of some of your 351 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: history with money and actually get to that right after 352 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: this break. Are we're back from the break, We're having 353 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,800 Speaker 1: a money conversation with our partners and hopefully you know, 354 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 1: digging into some of the details the history of you know, 355 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: how our wives grew up, you know when it comes 356 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 1: to money, and then kind of how we have just 357 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: over a decade into our marriage, Matt, you guys almost 358 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: fourteen years into years, like how we've grown, what we've learned, 359 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: because yeah, these conversations are so crucial. Matt and I 360 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 1: aren't perfect when it comes to money, as you've already 361 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: found out and you already knew because um, yeah, we know. 362 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 1: Well I was stressed out on the show, like we're 363 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: we know a lot about money, but we're also not 364 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: experts and we're human were fallible, right, But um, Emily, 365 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,199 Speaker 1: Let's let's dig it to your sort of history for 366 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: a minute here. Um, let's talk about Yeah, we talked 367 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 1: about how Kate grew up and that pushed towards entrepreneurship. 368 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 1: What do you think back to like your early days, 369 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 1: like the first things that you were taught about money, 370 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 1: or your first perceptions, like what were they? Yeah, I mean, 371 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,400 Speaker 1: it's a good question, to be honest. I really hadn't 372 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,159 Speaker 1: thought about it until you know, we were about to 373 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: do this show, because I know you have these defining 374 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 1: stories with money, and I wasn't sure that I really 375 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: had any. Um, But when I think about it, I mean, 376 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,719 Speaker 1: obviously there are things that influenced me, and I can 377 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 1: think of a couple. Um one, just being at sixteen, 378 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,119 Speaker 1: I got my driver's lessons. In the first place I 379 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: went was to go get a job, partly because I 380 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 1: like to work, but partly just single parent home. Part 381 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: of our situation was that my dad paid for whatever 382 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: I wanted to do in the fall, and I paid 383 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: for whatever I wanted to do in the spring school wise, 384 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,119 Speaker 1: and I did a lot of activities. So it was 385 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: just a good divide after school activities and yeah, yeah, 386 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: after after school activities. So I wanted to earn money 387 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,120 Speaker 1: to do that, and I like things like clothes and 388 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 1: the Three Musketeers. I get it. You know, art was 389 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: tcb y because it was right down the street from 390 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 1: our house. So we just had a conversation about Three 391 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 1: musket heres by the way, and you said it was 392 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: the worst candy bar. Yes, and it's a one at 393 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: this table, buddy, I wasn't going to bring it up earlier. 394 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: I don't love him either. I'm with it. It's basically 395 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 1: like a Snickers that got screwed up in the factory. 396 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,880 Speaker 1: They're like, this is missing something. I'm eating air Snickers 397 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: rejects like, like, let's in a three Musketeer just newgat 398 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: need to know the point. It's a mystery magic. You know, 399 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 1: where's the caramel? Where where's the nuts? I need both 400 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: of those in my life anyway. So I just you know, 401 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: started working, and my dad took me to set up 402 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: bank account and basically was like, you know, you spend 403 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 1: what you earned, don't spend more than you earn. And 404 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: he had helped me set up a little extra savings 405 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,679 Speaker 1: account if there was I think we did the automatic 406 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 1: where it just rounded up your purchases and put it 407 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,440 Speaker 1: in a savings account, right, So he helped me set 408 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,520 Speaker 1: that up because I you know, didn't save specifically, but 409 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,919 Speaker 1: it did that, which was great, and taught me had 410 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: like taught me how to read my account so that 411 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: I don't spend more than I have and like check 412 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 1: it every day. So that's just kind of how I 413 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 1: learned about money, just by making it and watching how 414 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 1: I had spent it mostly. And then you know the 415 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: other thing that had a big, big impact was my 416 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 1: first job out of college. I was actually basically did 417 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 1: like mission work for two and a half years, and 418 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,280 Speaker 1: I had a fundraise to do that work. So whatever 419 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: money I earned I had raised is off the generosity 420 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: of other people. So I think it just taught me 421 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 1: to be responsible with my money because someone had given 422 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,119 Speaker 1: it to me to steward well, um, like it was 423 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 1: literally a donation. It was literally a donation, right, So 424 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 1: I'm living off of the donations of others to do 425 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: you know, work that they believe in. It kind of 426 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,919 Speaker 1: changes the importance of that money. Yeah you want to 427 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 1: steward it, Well, I worked hard, I earned it. It's mine. 428 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 1: It's like, actually, nobody somebody else gave it to me, 429 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: and I also made very little money, so technically I 430 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: did qualify for food stamps, so I just had to 431 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: be careful because there wasn't a lot of money to spend. 432 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: But that was good. And a lot of my peers 433 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: were out making, you know, their first jobs after college, 434 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,680 Speaker 1: so it was a little bit difficult to watch people 435 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 1: have more freedom. But I am so thankful for that 436 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,880 Speaker 1: discipline that that first job really taught me. M so 437 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,160 Speaker 1: all right. When we when we first like started dating, Um, yeah, 438 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,119 Speaker 1: you knew I worked in the money media space. I've 439 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: been you know, it was not only a job, but 440 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,680 Speaker 1: kind of a passion. So as yeah, as we began 441 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: to get more serious and then got engaged looking towards marriage, 442 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,359 Speaker 1: like what what were your thoughts about money? Did they 443 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: start to shift or we're you know, did you do 444 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: you feel like we were just in alignment? Um, because 445 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,680 Speaker 1: I will say, like, I think we were fortunate in 446 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 1: a way because you were pretty frugal. We've definitely had 447 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 1: our moments where we've had to discuss things. We weren't 448 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 1: like combative or at odds when it came to money, 449 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 1: we said we had to figure a lot of stuff out. 450 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,120 Speaker 1: But what you what were your thoughts on us coming 451 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 1: together as as a couple when he came to money. Yeah, 452 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 1: I well, I don't think I had as many thoughts 453 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,959 Speaker 1: as you did. So let me just say that I 454 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 1: hadn't thought about it as much as you had. Um, 455 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 1: and I agree, like we weren't. I was not a 456 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 1: huge spender, which I think. I don't know if you 457 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,439 Speaker 1: would have married me if I would have been. So 458 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: I think that did work out great. Um, Like I 459 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 1: love my credit card. I had to pay it off, 460 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,159 Speaker 1: like that would have been that would be bad. I mean, 461 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 1: what's that? Yeah? So I mean we you know, we 462 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,639 Speaker 1: jailed that way. I was honestly very grateful to combine finances. 463 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: You made a decent a bit more than I did, 464 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 1: and so I was like, oh, thank goodness, because I 465 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 1: was not just not saying at because I was basically 466 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:51,920 Speaker 1: on food stamps, and I was like, I was working 467 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,199 Speaker 1: just about in radio, which also not a high paying industry. 468 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,160 Speaker 1: So it's not like we were well at this point. 469 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: I was not raising money when we met, but I 470 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 1: was still working for a nonprofit that I did not 471 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: make a lot of money, and so I had three 472 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: hundred dollars with a credit card debt because I was 473 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,680 Speaker 1: truly like, I would only spend like seventy five dollars 474 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: over what I made every month, but you know I couldn't. 475 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 1: I just kept spending that and so it was like 476 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: three hundred dollars a credit card debt. And I remember 477 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 1: being so nervous to tell you, like, oh no, but 478 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: you're gonna say, and you were great about it, You're 479 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,360 Speaker 1: very very gracious and we paid it off and um 480 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 1: to this day, that's the only time I've ever carried 481 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: like a bounce on a credit card because I realized 482 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:27,919 Speaker 1: Joel's like paid off every month and that's what we do. 483 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,320 Speaker 1: So do you so, okay, I'm gonna ask a little 484 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna dig in a little bit. Do you remember 485 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 1: how it was that Joel talked to you about that 486 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 1: three hunds in debt? Like did he talk about the 487 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 1: interest rate and like could be coming at from like 488 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: a numbers analytical standpoint or did he come at it 489 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 1: from a more philosophical of Like no, just like generally speaking, 490 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: you wanna you don't want to be paying interest you 491 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,920 Speaker 1: want to be earning interests. I'm curious to know what 492 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 1: Joel would have said back in the day, well, honestly, 493 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: it was. It was kind of a small conversation. I 494 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: think mostly he could tell I was nervous and wanted 495 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,919 Speaker 1: to be like, there's nothing to be nervous about. He 496 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:03,119 Speaker 1: was very I remember sweet, avery kinds and um, and 497 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: then I kind of I mean I knew in general 498 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: you actually didn't want to carry a credit card balance. 499 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 1: I like literally just was not making ends meet, and 500 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 1: so I think I pretty much probably knew that on 501 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: my own. I was just like, well, thank goodness, he 502 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 1: makes a little more money, so we can do that. 503 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 1: So I remember being excited to move in together because 504 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,160 Speaker 1: we were going from what we made, which was not 505 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,679 Speaker 1: like a ton, uh and both paying to live somewhere 506 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,439 Speaker 1: to moving in together and having one mortgage, and it 507 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: was like, well it felt like we magically got richer 508 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,560 Speaker 1: just by that really might have been the number one 509 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 1: thing you're excited about begin together. No, No, that's get 510 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,400 Speaker 1: You probably did see like how the numbers would play out, 511 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:47,439 Speaker 1: because I remember roughly seventy five bucks over. It's just like, hey, 512 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 1: you know, like I don't know what you're read was 513 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 1: at that time, it was seven fifty dollars, and I 514 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: remember because it was like, we have seven hundred dollars, 515 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,520 Speaker 1: what do we want to do with it? Every month? Now? Yeah, 516 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 1: I still remember that because we talked about it. Actually, well, um, okay, 517 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about like the division 518 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: of money tasks, because that is something that's a lot 519 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,199 Speaker 1: of couples have a hard time figuring out. Oftentimes. You know, 520 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: one person in the relationship is more into money, you know, uh, 521 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: and the other person is like I don't really care, 522 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 1: or you know, do whatever you want or can you 523 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,119 Speaker 1: you know, take the entire load? Uh? And yeah, So 524 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,199 Speaker 1: like when it comes to how we've divided tasks, how 525 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 1: do you feel like that's been um? And that's certainly 526 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,360 Speaker 1: something we've grown in as well, right, Yeah, I mean yeah, 527 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,399 Speaker 1: I would say I feel like some of our biggest 528 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,760 Speaker 1: fights are over a budget, as we've talked about, because 529 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,320 Speaker 1: you I really wanted one, and I'm not naturally a 530 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,199 Speaker 1: budget did not ever see the importance of it, and 531 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: so I do feel like that task. So then when 532 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 1: I would do a budget, it would be me, but 533 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: it would come from like needing a sense of control, 534 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,359 Speaker 1: not because it was this like team thoughtful group effort 535 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,880 Speaker 1: and then so you would never care and so then 536 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: of course like that just like leads to a fight. 537 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: So I'm also a more big picture of person and 538 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 1: not very detail oriented and so and you are so 539 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,680 Speaker 1: like I think when we are able to communicate well 540 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 1: about that, we and what we're able to get on 541 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: the same page and we'll be able to both play 542 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 1: to our strengths, we're working well together. But sometimes when 543 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,119 Speaker 1: we're not, and when I'm not communicating well, then then 544 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,199 Speaker 1: even though we have those opposite strengths, um, we're not 545 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 1: functioning at like I would say, you do the big 546 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: picture things well, and so there's a lot of like 547 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: big strategic moves you're making with finances sometimes and I'm 548 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 1: actually not involved in those, like you'll tell me about them, 549 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 1: but I don't necessarily care to know the details or 550 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 1: understand or even matter, not even helpful person to talk to. 551 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 1: But I know where we're going in general and why 552 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 1: you're doing it. I think that's great. Like I think 553 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 1: that works well. Um, I think where we've yeah, the 554 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: details which I want hammered out that you don't necessarily love, 555 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,120 Speaker 1: I think is where we've had more attention just yeah, 556 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: and just learning to compromise. And I think what you've 557 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: had to learn is that I want the details because 558 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to feel I don't want money to 559 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,399 Speaker 1: be so personal, So that that's what's helpful. Much like 560 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: Kate and Matt were saying, you know, it just releaves 561 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: a lot of conversations when there's some standards in place. 562 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,160 Speaker 1: And so I think we spent a lot of time, 563 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 1: you know, talking about it's important that I am able 564 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: to spend this money because it lets me know you 565 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 1: value me. But you're like, it's really important you spend 566 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: as little as possible. So we've had to kind of 567 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 1: communicate that way. Yeah, for sure. Now we've grown a 568 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: lot in that over the years and but still figuring 569 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: things out. So, speaking of still figuring things out, um, Emily, first, 570 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 1: thank you for sharing your story. Thanks for um digging 571 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 1: into some of those details. But after the break, let's 572 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 1: kind of get into what it looks like like moving 573 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: forward having good money conversations. Let's let's kind of talk 574 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: about some of that stuff and what it looks like 575 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 1: to move forward together on a topic that is fraught 576 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 1: for a lot of people, with arguments and tension and stress. 577 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 1: How how do we as couple as like continue to 578 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 1: navigate those waters without freaking out, pulling our hair out, 579 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,120 Speaker 1: or doing something we shouldn't do to our significant other. 580 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: We'll talk about that right after this. Alright, we we're 581 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,640 Speaker 1: back from the break and just reminded to we are 582 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: recording in a beach house, so it might sound a 583 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,360 Speaker 1: little bit different. We didn't even mention this, but we've 584 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 1: got like a pepper pig blike in the background, U 585 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: there's a foot on mattress on the Florida to absorb 586 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: the helicopter. Literally we repeated this section in the before 587 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 1: the last break because there's a helicopter. What is it 588 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,640 Speaker 1: with beaches and helicopters always like final with the water 589 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,159 Speaker 1: to make sure there's not sharks or something. So I 590 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: don't know, but also our kids love it every single time, 591 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 1: Like there's not enough helicopter. So okay, so far, like 592 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,959 Speaker 1: we've only been talking about the past or our present, right, 593 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: like you know what has made us who we are, 594 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 1: what we're currently doing. But for the rest of the episode, 595 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,639 Speaker 1: let's talk about the different ways that we can grow, 596 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 1: ways that we can move forward as couples, and how 597 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 1: we handle our finances and so yeah, first of all, 598 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,160 Speaker 1: what are some topics that you'll think that new partners 599 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,040 Speaker 1: should cover or different questions that they should be asking 600 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: each other? Joel, do you have one that comes to 601 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 1: mind for folks? Well, I think one of the things 602 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 1: that people should be talking about early on that oftentimes 603 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 1: doesn't get discussed or you know, maybe even both partners 604 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: don't think about it or know about it is a 605 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 1: credit score. And I think that's you brought that up earlier. 606 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,640 Speaker 1: That's something that Emily may or may not have been 607 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: aware that a great credit score, I will say, but 608 00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,159 Speaker 1: it is one of those things. It's telling in a 609 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 1: lot of ways, Like you know, Matt, you and I 610 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,440 Speaker 1: know this as like mom and pop landlords and when 611 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,320 Speaker 1: we're looking for someone to rent to we check their 612 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 1: credit history and if it's not very good, there's a 613 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 1: high likelihood that we're not going to rent to them. Um. 614 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,479 Speaker 1: And so they're just all these things, um, And it's 615 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: not because you know the person is not a good person, 616 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 1: it's just, um, do they pay their bills on time 617 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: like an in full? And if they don't, are they 618 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: going to pay their rent on time? And infull And 619 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,840 Speaker 1: so I think that's one of those important things that 620 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: people should uncover, should look at. Actually easy to get 621 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: your credit score. Now, if you have a credit card, 622 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 1: oftentimes your credit card company will you give your credit 623 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 1: score for free. UM Discover has a great site where 624 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: you can check your credit score for free. Will link 625 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 1: to it in the show notes. But knowing what your 626 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 1: credit score is, that's like a great place to start, 627 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,479 Speaker 1: UM and to say like, okay, how can we improve this? 628 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: And maybe sometimes like that hard number being a little 629 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,440 Speaker 1: bit lower than you want it to be, it can 630 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: be that motivation like you know what, let's work on this. 631 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 1: And oftentimes improving your credit score means getting good financial 632 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: habits UM, and so it kind of gamifies getting your 633 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,160 Speaker 1: finances in order. UM. And you know, we think gamification 634 00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: is a really important part of handling money. Well to 635 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 1: totally yeah, I think when we got married, I didn't 636 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,560 Speaker 1: know what a credit score was, and so I don't 637 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 1: think of Emily's credit score had been low, the Joel 638 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: would have been like no, I mean it would have 639 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:44,120 Speaker 1: been an educating opportunity, right Like whoever, whichever partner comes 640 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 1: into it knowing more about it or is more interested 641 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 1: in it, that is a helpful conversation to be able 642 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,520 Speaker 1: to educate each other in the ways that you're strong. 643 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 1: I think a willingness to be open with one another 644 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: and be willing to learn together and grow together is 645 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: something that really early on in our relationship you into 646 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 1: discuss and it sounded like you were doing that still, 647 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,480 Speaker 1: Like when you all sat down, you could tell Emily 648 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 1: was nervous. It's not something that you're you know, you 649 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 1: didn't come down hard on or but you understood that. Like, hey, 650 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 1: a lot of people aren't aware of their their credit school, 651 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 1: or their finances or what they should be doing. Um, 652 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,600 Speaker 1: and if you are the money person, be aware that 653 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 1: and enter that relationship with some grace, with some understanding. Uh. 654 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 1: And and and not in a judgmental way. But I'm glad. 655 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you actually you mentioned the credit scordul 656 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 1: because I think that's just a good way to start 657 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 1: things off, because it's a signal, right, it's a it's 658 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 1: a flag as to whether or not we need to 659 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: dig in a little bit more or things are probably 660 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 1: pretty good. Uh. It's just an easy way to see 661 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 1: where somebody is with their finances, because if they're if 662 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 1: the credit scores in the dumps. It's like, Okay, maybe 663 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 1: we should have some more conversations, or maybe we should 664 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 1: even go to some some counseling where uh, personal finances 665 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 1: are a part of that. And I think that can 666 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: just be a good signifier of the level of conversation 667 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: that needs to happen or you know where you should begin. 668 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: But also too, I love how y'all have this conversation 669 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: when you are engaged and Emily, you're talking about having 670 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:08,719 Speaker 1: that debt um. Some folks call this like getting financially naked. Uh, 671 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 1: it's just being honest and kind of bearing your credit 672 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,480 Speaker 1: score or you know what you have going on when 673 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 1: it comes to your money. And I think you've got 674 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: to be honest with each other, right because if if 675 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 1: especially you're you're thinking about getting married or entering into 676 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: a longer term relationship, you don't want to have things 677 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,360 Speaker 1: that you're not being honest about, that you're not being 678 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 1: open about. And so whether that's things you've done in 679 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 1: the past with your money, whether that's the amount of 680 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,240 Speaker 1: debt that you currently have, you know, like student loans. 681 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 1: I know that's something that's on a lot of people's 682 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,239 Speaker 1: mind when they enter into relationships together and I know 683 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 1: that makes it even tougher sometimes, for like I have 684 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 1: Let's say I like this one person in the relationship 685 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 1: has five thousand dollars in student loan debt and the 686 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,320 Speaker 1: other person has a hundred and fifty dollars in student loandet. 687 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 1: It feels lopsided and it's tough to know how to 688 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: combine things. You know, when you love somebody and that 689 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,959 Speaker 1: that's what's you know. We Emily and I were very 690 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 1: similar in a lot of ways, similar amounts of student 691 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: loan debt um, but those make it it's so much harder. 692 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: But I think, um, that's when you're signing up to 693 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: get married. I mean we we believe that there is 694 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,239 Speaker 1: there is something important about you know, taking that on 695 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 1: for one another and caring for another your team, your team. 696 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: Now that's how we've we're combining your coming, you know, 697 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 1: I would say to I mean, I agree, the more 698 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 1: you can put it on the table, it's helpful. But 699 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,480 Speaker 1: I also think sometimes you can feel lost, like you're 700 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: not trying to lie, but maybe nobody asked the question 701 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: that you knew that needed to come up. So I 702 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: would just encourage. I think sometimes a third party, like 703 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,280 Speaker 1: I know we had pre marital counseling that partly went 704 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:35,440 Speaker 1: through finances, just helped us ask the questions and expectations. 705 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: But I mean, I've never googled this. I'm sure you could, 706 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 1: but what are helpful money questions for couples? Like there 707 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 1: could be ten questions that just get the conversation started. 708 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 1: So don't feel like you've got to bear all of 709 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 1: your soul of every like, there's just questions that get 710 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 1: the conversation going. And I think like asking those questions 711 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 1: and talking about it is a huge part of the battle. 712 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,840 Speaker 1: And there are sources outside of yourself that can help 713 00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: you do that. I think that are helpful. And I 714 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,720 Speaker 1: think reading a book together or you know, listening to 715 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: a few episodes of a money podcast together and then 716 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 1: letting that spark and inform some of the conversation. It's like, 717 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 1: oh wait, I didn't know that term, and then it 718 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,480 Speaker 1: leads to a conversation, um about you know, some more 719 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 1: in depth financial topics. So I do think that can 720 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: kind of be the prod to get your start. But 721 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: I think when we talk about visions and goals and 722 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,480 Speaker 1: budget it all sounds like this linear black on white path, 723 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 1: but truly so much of this was uncovered just kind 724 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: of through conversations and thinking bigger picture, and then you 725 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 1: are are able to nail it down, nail down some 726 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 1: of that transparency and compos yeah. Yeah. And and so 727 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: I thought you're gonna say something about goals, because like 728 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 1: we were kind of harping on that earlier, and I 729 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,200 Speaker 1: don't think it's just about identifying those goals. So some 730 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,920 Speaker 1: folks might have a goal to own a home, or hey, 731 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: let's have a goal of paying down our student loans. 732 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: But I think it's also important to talk through like 733 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:51,520 Speaker 1: how quickly do you want to achieve those goals, because 734 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: I think that's what's going to dictate a lot of 735 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: what life actually looks like. Right Because a goal of 736 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: saving up enough for a down payment on a home, well, 737 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,320 Speaker 1: that's great, But we talk in two years, are we 738 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: talking in ten years? Because those two things are gonna 739 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 1: look a heck of a lot different, um, And that's 740 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,400 Speaker 1: going to also dictate what, you know, the kind of 741 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,719 Speaker 1: sacrifices that you're gonna make. A lot of that is 742 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 1: going to depend on the time frame. And so I 743 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,640 Speaker 1: think that's an important aspect to keep in mind, not 744 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 1: only talking through what is it that we're going to 745 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,160 Speaker 1: achieve together? But how quickly do you want to achieve 746 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,799 Speaker 1: those things? And what sacrifices are you willing to make? 747 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 1: All right, let's talk. Let's talk about money fights to 748 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 1: Matt because oftentimes not being on the same page when 749 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 1: it comes to goals, right, that can start some money fights. 750 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: Not having a budget can lead to money fights. I 751 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,160 Speaker 1: know this first hand. Are not prioritizing it and not 752 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 1: communicating well about it? But like, yeah, what what else? Um? 753 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: And of course you know we we know that money 754 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 1: is one of, if not the main, reason for for 755 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,839 Speaker 1: many a dissolution of many partnerships of marriages out there. 756 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,680 Speaker 1: So what does it look like to avoid some of 757 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 1: those bigger money blowouts and to you know, have an 758 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,920 Speaker 1: open line of communication about money because it's a difficult 759 00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,279 Speaker 1: topic and it's one that never goes away. Right, you 760 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 1: have to continue to have these conversations. So how do 761 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: we become more productive in our money conversations? Um? And 762 00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: have you know a fewer knockdown, drag out fights along 763 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,239 Speaker 1: the way? UM? I think a big part of avoiding 764 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:16,319 Speaker 1: money fights for us is UM, remembering that we are 765 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,839 Speaker 1: on the same team to achieve a certain goal. So 766 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,800 Speaker 1: it's not us against one another, it's us together for 767 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,359 Speaker 1: something else. And so it's sort of like how if 768 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 1: you're on the same team, if you're on a sport 769 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,920 Speaker 1: team together or whatever, even though you don't agree with 770 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,880 Speaker 1: the move that the other person made, like you are 771 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,839 Speaker 1: on that team under person, and you still do your 772 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 1: part and you even may flex depending on what they 773 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 1: do to continue to move forward. So I think they're 774 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 1: not trying to they're not trying to lose the game, 775 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:43,759 Speaker 1: they're not trying to throw it. You know that they're 776 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: also trying to achieve the same goal. It's just well, 777 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 1: maybe I would have done that exactly that way, and 778 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 1: maybe we can talk about it, but to not immediately 779 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,360 Speaker 1: maybe turn and attack that person. Yes, you cannot turn 780 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 1: a person, and it's seem the worse exactly. I think 781 00:35:57,040 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: that's so true that it's easier to do than yeah realized. Truly. Yeah, 782 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,040 Speaker 1: I mean I literally remind myself when we are in 783 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,960 Speaker 1: disagreements that we have the same goals and we are 784 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,200 Speaker 1: on the same team toward those goals, and that helps 785 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,480 Speaker 1: sort of pivot the argument from one of us against 786 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,760 Speaker 1: the other of us to a more constructive, like, how 787 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 1: are we going to work through this small obstacle and 788 00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,680 Speaker 1: still move toward our goal together? So I think that 789 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,440 Speaker 1: was one of the most helpful um pieces of advice 790 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 1: we got in marriage counseling was that it's the two 791 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,880 Speaker 1: of us towards something else and not the two of 792 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,360 Speaker 1: us against one another. Even when we're in full disagreement 793 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,879 Speaker 1: about something, it's still us trying to reach the same 794 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,919 Speaker 1: goal in just our own ways. So I think having 795 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 1: a language around that is really helpful. Yeah, And from 796 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,520 Speaker 1: a practical standpoint, I think what that looks like for 797 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,000 Speaker 1: us is we've talked a little bit. I mean, I 798 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,080 Speaker 1: don't want this to be all about budgeting, but that 799 00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:52,720 Speaker 1: is such a crucial way that we communicate about our money. 800 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 1: And I mean we check in like two about two 801 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,440 Speaker 1: or three times a month um. Essentially, I kind of 802 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: give you know, I'll send you updates because I keep 803 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,360 Speaker 1: up with our money. I'm the I am the organized 804 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:06,320 Speaker 1: you know, money nerry in our relationship. That's funny because 805 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 1: Emily is the organized money person in our relationship and 806 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,719 Speaker 1: in you and our relationship, Joe, I'm also the money 807 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 1: that you are. I'm like the nerd, like I'm the 808 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,520 Speaker 1: one that keeps up with the spressheets and Free Spirit spenses, taxes, 809 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,799 Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. Um, but that is how 810 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,719 Speaker 1: we communicate very easily. I mean, it's just grease on 811 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:26,040 Speaker 1: the tracks when it comes to our conversations about money, 812 00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 1: because we're both informed. I keep you updated where things 813 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,040 Speaker 1: are for that month, and these aren't at all long conversations, 814 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 1: like literally the m O. Like the typical way I 815 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,400 Speaker 1: do this is I just sent you a bunch of texts, 816 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,960 Speaker 1: like I sent you a text in a row and 817 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,319 Speaker 1: it'll say like all right, July budget update, line line line, 818 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,200 Speaker 1: line line or dashes, you know, and let I hit 819 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 1: enter so it looks like I'm formatting it, you know, 820 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:49,239 Speaker 1: like texting. Then I tell you that like, all right, 821 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:50,480 Speaker 1: graces for you. This is where we are. This is 822 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 1: what we have left entertainment, This is what we have left. 823 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,879 Speaker 1: I think differentories using about us doing the budget together. 824 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,320 Speaker 1: Isn't Matt and I budget and we put our goals 825 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,759 Speaker 1: in there together. But the day to day keeping up 826 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,960 Speaker 1: with the budget is Matt and this spending is me. Oftentimes. 827 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,560 Speaker 1: I think that's a really crucial part of this too, 828 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,440 Speaker 1: is that you have to designate roles, and one person 829 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,840 Speaker 1: cannot be the sole bearer of every role. When it 830 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 1: comes to money, I think it's important for each individual 831 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:18,400 Speaker 1: in a partnership to have at least some engagement and 832 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: some participation because if it's left up to, you know, 833 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,319 Speaker 1: on one person's shoulders, that's going to lead to more 834 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,120 Speaker 1: money fights, I think. Um. And you know, even if 835 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,800 Speaker 1: money is not your thing, if money is not something 836 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,640 Speaker 1: that you're naturally like interested in or you've already been 837 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,920 Speaker 1: taught a lot about it, uh, it's it's important to 838 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,759 Speaker 1: at least take like that ten percent steak I think 839 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 1: in that relationship because it shows your partner that you're 840 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: interested in something that they're interested in, or that you're 841 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,880 Speaker 1: willing to take to do something that maybe you're not 842 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: naturally inclined to do, because it's for the sake of 843 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,760 Speaker 1: your relationship and for the sake of your goals together. 844 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,120 Speaker 1: UM So I think yeah, that that is important. But 845 00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: then also clarifying who has which task and um and 846 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,560 Speaker 1: the and playing to your strengths I think is helpful 847 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,239 Speaker 1: in that. But making sure you know who's paying what 848 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:10,000 Speaker 1: bills so that you know the life don't get shut off, um, whatever, 849 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 1: it is. But yeah, divving those up and making sure 850 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,200 Speaker 1: that everybody knows, you know, what they're supposed to be 851 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 1: doing is is really important too. Yeah. I like how 852 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,800 Speaker 1: you said that because essentially you could be the partner 853 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 1: in the relationship if you're listening to this podcast, and 854 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,680 Speaker 1: chances are you are the money nerd right, but you 855 00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:26,759 Speaker 1: also might be the big picture person as well. But 856 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,480 Speaker 1: I think, like you said, having your partner be invested 857 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,799 Speaker 1: a little bit is really important because then that's when 858 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,319 Speaker 1: you have a partner partner relationship compared to like a 859 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,080 Speaker 1: parent sort of child relationship. And we're not trying to 860 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,239 Speaker 1: put anybody in either one of those positions when it 861 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,719 Speaker 1: comes to their relationship with their partner, right, Like you 862 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,959 Speaker 1: want to be like, sure, somebody might have a better 863 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,400 Speaker 1: handle on just the money things just altogether, but they 864 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,399 Speaker 1: still need to be next to you. You don't want 865 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,680 Speaker 1: it to be this sort of superior inferior position when 866 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 1: it comes to your personal finances as a couple. Yeah, exactly, 867 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 1: I think how that can look to I mean, you're 868 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,520 Speaker 1: over there reading economic textbooks which I like never touched 869 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 1: with the tim foot poles fascinating. You know, you're wheeling 870 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 1: and dealing all these different deals and come in and 871 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,120 Speaker 1: we'll ask like I'm just you know, heads up, I'm 872 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,560 Speaker 1: doing this and this and purchase this, and I'm like, great, 873 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 1: that sounds awesome. Tell me, like how that affects monthly? 874 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,839 Speaker 1: Like what do I need to know? How I practically 875 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,320 Speaker 1: budget this and spend it? And you know, then we 876 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,600 Speaker 1: have a convo about what we adjust and then go. 877 00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,719 Speaker 1: You know, so it's too totally. I'm not into money 878 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,640 Speaker 1: the way Joel is, but I really appreciate what he's 879 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 1: doing and he communicates and he's not into necessarily the 880 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,880 Speaker 1: details of it all, but that's what I'm working on, 881 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 1: and so just kind of work together that way. Yeah, yeah, 882 00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,319 Speaker 1: I agree. We all have different strengths, and you know, 883 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,919 Speaker 1: we don't necessarily have to be fifty equals, Like we're 884 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,200 Speaker 1: equal as partners, but when it comes to tasks, we 885 00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:46,800 Speaker 1: should both be participating to some extent. But it doesn't 886 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,120 Speaker 1: have to be completely equal either, right, because you know 887 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,439 Speaker 1: there's some things like I'm o the lawn and and 888 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 1: you often cook the dinners, which I appreciate. Like we 889 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,960 Speaker 1: have different things that we specialize in, and that's okay. 890 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,880 Speaker 1: So when I listened to all of our stories, and 891 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,120 Speaker 1: what I would want people to know is that even 892 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,399 Speaker 1: with two people who talk about finances for a living, 893 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,320 Speaker 1: it's still messy as you do it with a partner 894 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:07,759 Speaker 1: and as you figured out, and it's still a lot 895 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,759 Speaker 1: of communication and a lot of money is black and white, 896 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:12,759 Speaker 1: and then sometimes it's not so black and white because 897 00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:15,359 Speaker 1: there's a lot of meaning tied behind it. So you communicate, 898 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:17,719 Speaker 1: and I think I really appreciate what Kate said. You're 899 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:20,759 Speaker 1: on the team and you realize it's not you put 900 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,279 Speaker 1: it against the other person. Let's work together and appreciate 901 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 1: strengths and call them what they are, and you know, 902 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,960 Speaker 1: see the weaknesses and understand how to work around that. 903 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 1: And that's kind of what we've learned. Good thoughts, Sorry 904 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,959 Speaker 1: well on that. No, let's get back to the beer 905 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,280 Speaker 1: that we had on this up that we shared this episode. 906 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 1: That's right, you know, this one's called tef nut I 907 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:40,440 Speaker 1: was by the Veil and Omnipolo and this was an 908 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: Imperial goza with blueberries and blackberries. Um. Yeah, what was 909 00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:45,560 Speaker 1: everyone's thoughts on it? Maybe a quick couple of words 910 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 1: to describe your thoughts on this beer? I will say, first, 911 00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,680 Speaker 1: tip was too much for me. It's a little it 912 00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:56,720 Speaker 1: was a little acidic, little apple cider vinegar. But I 913 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,880 Speaker 1: ended up enjoying it as as I went on. So 914 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 1: the small SIPs, this is not a yeah have we 915 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,359 Speaker 1: as if any of us said anything about how thick 916 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,879 Speaker 1: the spear is? Right? So I got the top poor 917 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,839 Speaker 1: and mine was lovely and light, and the middle poor, 918 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,239 Speaker 1: which was like the middle of the bottom four. Literally, 919 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:17,880 Speaker 1: we went to Smoothieking and grab the beer. Um. I 920 00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 1: like fruited sours, but when they're when when they've got 921 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 1: literally this much sent sediment in the beer, it makes 922 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,160 Speaker 1: it really difficult in my opinion, to think of it 923 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,120 Speaker 1: like a beer as opposed to like a milkshake or 924 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,839 Speaker 1: a smoothie something like that. What do you think, Emily, So, 925 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 1: the first score that came to my mind was smoothie. 926 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:35,600 Speaker 1: It was a bit thicker and it has that color 927 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,600 Speaker 1: and that taste, and I was not so sure. But 928 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 1: the more drink it grew on me. I liked it. 929 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:44,120 Speaker 1: I like the kind of funky after taste. Yeah, it 930 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,360 Speaker 1: was super fruity, that's for sure, But I think the 931 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,680 Speaker 1: thickness was a little off putting for me, Like I 932 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,960 Speaker 1: could see it in clumps coming out as I was 933 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,560 Speaker 1: pouring as it got towards the end of the can. 934 00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,080 Speaker 1: So um, you know, this viscosity was high with this one. Yeah, 935 00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,360 Speaker 1: an interesting one. I'm glad we tried it, but probably 936 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,160 Speaker 1: um never gonna pick it up again. But this was 937 00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: a fun conversation ladies. Thank you for joining us on 938 00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,439 Speaker 1: the show to yeah talk about your stories and kind 939 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,320 Speaker 1: of um, how we deal with money together. Hopefully this 940 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 1: is helpful for all of our listeners out there. That's right, 941 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:14,480 Speaker 1: so Joel, I think that's gonna be it for this 942 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,799 Speaker 1: episode until next time. Best Friends Out, Best Friends Out.