1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight, We got it for you here. 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:06,119 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry letta subject. I'm in the military 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:10,160 Speaker 1: and I'm never enlisted. Dere's Stephen Shirley. I am fifty 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,280 Speaker 1: seven years old and have been married to an intelligent, 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,440 Speaker 1: extremely good looking, sixty year old man for ten years. 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: We're admired by friends and family because we seem to 7 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: have the perfect marriage. At home and in public, we 8 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,240 Speaker 1: act like two teenagers in love. We send each other 9 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: silly text messages all day, and we play all kinds 10 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: of all kinds of silly games at home. But then 11 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 1: there's the one part of the marriage that's getting on 12 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: my nerves. My husband works on a military base, and 13 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: he brings his job home with him every day. I'm 14 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: usually home from work first, so I cook dinner so 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: he can relax and eat after work. Instead, he comes 16 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: in and starts looking around to see what's out of order. 17 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: If I'm cooking, he adjust the temperature of the pots 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: on the stove. He prefers that I use the microwave 19 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: as much as possible, and a few times he has 20 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: lectured me on how the microwave was invented to conserve energy. 21 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,839 Speaker 1: He regularly adds a little water to my perfectly good 22 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: bottle of dishwashing liquids so it will last longer, and 23 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: expects all silverware and glassware after I wash dishes. Whenever 24 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: I leave the house without him, he calls to tell 25 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: me what I did wrong. I left a light on, 26 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: the blinds were open too widely, I didn't put the 27 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 1: clean dishes away, and the list goes on and on. 28 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: In spite of our good times together, he keeps arguing 29 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: with me about something I am not doing right. It 30 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: gets to the point where I find more reasons to 31 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: leave the house just for peace. I'm not one of 32 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: his enlistees in the army? How can I get him 33 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: to stop? Wow? Pretty controlling? Your husband is hum and 34 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: not to mention nagging. Who wants to hear this on 35 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: a daily basis? You know it does take two people 36 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: to argue. Though you said, he keeps arguing with you 37 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: about what you're not doing right. Just stop talking to him, 38 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: don't argue with him. Okay, you're telling Steve and I 39 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: about this, But who you really need to tell is 40 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: this worrisome nitpicking husband of yours? I mean, you have 41 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,959 Speaker 1: a voice, use your voice. Tell him in a strong, respectful, 42 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: you could be nice about it way that you've had 43 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: enough of his complaining that you're not a child. You're 44 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: not his child, you're not the maid, you're not one 45 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: of his co workers from the military base. You are 46 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: his wife. He can't talk to you this way, or 47 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 1: he shouldn't be talking to you this way. Why is 48 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 1: he trying to control you? Tell him you know that 49 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: you're grown all of this stuff. He just needs to 50 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: quit following up behind you. You don't need anyone to 51 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: follow up behind you and check up after you. And 52 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: if he persists, stop answering his calls. Like I said, 53 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 1: stop arguing with him. It takes two people to argue. 54 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: Stop answering his calls when he calls you about this 55 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 1: kind of stuff, send us about to voicemail. I mean, 56 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: who does he think he is? Steve. I don't understand 57 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: why she wrote a letter because I don't see what 58 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,079 Speaker 1: the problem is. It's this woman that's fifty seven, marri 59 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 1: too an intelligence, extremely good look at sixty year old 60 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,399 Speaker 1: man for ten years. You're admired by friends because y'all 61 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: seem like he got a perfect marriage at home and 62 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: in public, y'all act like two teenagers in love. Y'all 63 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: seeing silly text messages all the day. We play all 64 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 1: kinds of silly games. But then here's the part of 65 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,959 Speaker 1: the marriage to get on your damn nerves. Your husband 66 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,959 Speaker 1: worked at the military base and he bring his job 67 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: home with him, so usually home first, right, so you 68 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: cook dinner so he could relax and eat after work. 69 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: Instead he comes in and started looking around and see 70 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: what's out of order. So obviously he does some type 71 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: of inspection work down at his jaw So now here 72 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: I asked, coming in the house inspected if I'm cooking, 73 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: He adjust the temperature other pots on the stove. He 74 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: wants you to use the micro waver as much as possible, 75 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: and a few times he lectured you on how to 76 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: mic wavers invented to serve energy. Okay, is he stupid? Yeah? 77 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: Who wants a microwave dish when you got a woman 78 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: or someone that's cooking you a home cooked, fresh meal. 79 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: He's stupid, he fight, he nitpicking. But here what I 80 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:21,280 Speaker 1: don't understand. Why don't you just do, lady, what women do. 81 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: All y'all capable of doing it. I don't understand why 82 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: you're doing it? Straighten his ass out, thank you. I'm 83 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: at home. First, I cook dinner so he can relax. 84 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: He come in and start looking around there. I'm cooking. 85 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: He adjust the temperature of the posts on the stove. 86 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 1: I tell you what, set your ass down somewhere. And 87 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: then when he come in and here right up to here, 88 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,159 Speaker 1: adjust the temperature. She said. Okay, so you cooking, nah huh, 89 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: thank you. Put your feet up and start working with 90 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 1: watching TV. He prefers that you used micro wave as 91 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: much as possible, and he'd lectured me on how to 92 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: micro wave. Invented to take all the food, put it 93 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 1: in the microwaves, all of it. Put the eggs in there, 94 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: with the with the with with with with the ham. 95 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: Put the ham in there. Put the potato salad, put 96 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: that in there, with the slough. Put that in there, putting, 97 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: put the gravy, all of it, and cut it on. 98 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: And sit your ass down and go it's sit the microwave. Yes, Steve. 99 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: He regularly adds a little water to my perfectly good 100 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: bottle of dishwashing liquid so it will last longer. Okay, cool, Now, 101 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: higgo all the dishes. I ain't done them. You use 102 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: that water down the ass dishwashing liquid, and see how 103 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:51,119 Speaker 1: long you're gonna be scrubbing grease spots? Sits your ass down. 104 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:57,840 Speaker 1: He constantly inspects all the silver ware glass Where after 105 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: I wash the dishes, I spit on everything. We got 106 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: spit on every Nah, what is these water spots? They 107 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: ain't water spots. They my spots. And he was just 108 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: man tripping. Anytime she do something, he got something to 109 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: complain about. Want her to use a microwave instead of stove. 110 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: He adjusting temperature on pots when she come in. He 111 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 1: looking at all the glasses of silver ware, and see 112 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 1: if they got spots on it, I'd have told you 113 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: what to do. Quit cooking. He adjusted temperature. Sit down somewhere. 114 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 1: He wanted everything in the microwave. Put everything y'all having 115 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: for dinner. Don't cook enough, Pack it all in that 116 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: microwave as soon as he walked through the door. Just 117 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: put it on twenty minutes and press in it and 118 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,600 Speaker 1: go sit out your dinner in the damn microwave like 119 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 1: you like it. Here and there, checking on all or 120 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: silver wearing all this here, looking for water spots. I 121 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: spin on everything in there? What about him telling her 122 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: about the leaving the lights on. Now we're getting too 123 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: that right there. Naw, you lead a house without him, 124 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: He calls to tell you what you did wrong. I 125 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: left for light on, the blinds are open too widely. 126 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 1: I didn't put the clean dishes away. And the list 127 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 1: goes on and on because I hear what you do 128 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 1: next time you lead the light, next time you lead 129 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: the house, don't leave a damn light on in there nowhere, 130 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: Let every blind shut up, drape shill dough light, but 131 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: put blankets up to the window, tack them up. Blanket. 132 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: You can't look in here. You can't see a damn 133 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: thing in here. Walk your ass in this dark ass 134 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: house with your stupid ass matter of fact, go down 135 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: stairs and click all the fuse box switches the other way. 136 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: Make shore ain't no damn not only is the lights 137 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: not on, damn it day ain't coming on. Since you 138 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: like saving money, then he all man, because you didn't 139 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: put those clean dishes away, don't wear anybody quit doing 140 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: them damn dishes. Do it your damn set. This is 141 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: your response. Do it show damn sell because this is 142 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 1: what women will say. It's getting to the point where 143 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 1: I find more reasons to leave the house just for peace. No, no, no, 144 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,199 Speaker 1: correction is getting to the point where you find more 145 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: reasons to leave this big dog ass house. Cut all 146 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: them damn lights off, Tack blankets up to the windows, 147 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: and go down stairs with a flashlight and cut all 148 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: the fuses all so when he come on, ain't no 149 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: lights in the house because you want to save extra energy. 150 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 1: So now he got to feel his way down that 151 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: damn basement and cut them fuses back on. This visual 152 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,839 Speaker 1: is crazy, But okay, Steve, so back to the microwave. 153 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: So what the microwave. This is what you do. Take 154 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: the cabbage, the ham, the cold slaw, the potato salad, 155 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: the jello mold, the cake, the yams, and the greens. 156 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: Take them all out they container, put them in a bowl, 157 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: all of it. Stick it in the microwave as soon 158 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,959 Speaker 1: as he come in the dope after he found all 159 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: him lights, switches and stuff, and cut the fuse back 160 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: home when he come upstairs, slam the microwave dough put 161 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: it on twenty minutes and pressed in him and going 162 00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 1: there and sit out and said, you're dinner in the 163 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:05,680 Speaker 1: dam like you like it. I put the dessert, the cake, 164 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 1: it's in there like you like it. He's lectured to 165 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,839 Speaker 1: her about the micro ain't lecturing to me about the 166 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,559 Speaker 1: damn thing. You need to find that fuse box and 167 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:29,559 Speaker 1: cut these lights on. Is this cake bettered my grapes? Yes, 168 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: it's in the microwave pot everything. And I know you 169 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 1: like eating all that once, so I had to put 170 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: it all in there at once, misterone time. And then 171 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: she's gonna serve it on the dishes that she and 172 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: I'll tell you something else to save money too out 173 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,080 Speaker 1: and took all the toilet tissue out this house. Wow, yes, 174 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: what I didn't even say anything about that, Steve. See, 175 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: he complained about everything else. We're spending money in here, 176 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 1: all these money saving issues. We don't need, tarlitician no more, 177 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: use your FaceTime, use your facetie. Listen off, listen off. Yeah, 178 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: now you and then use that same facetowe and washing 179 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:27,319 Speaker 1: damn dishes with that water down dish washing you. Oh 180 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: my god, we're saving money. We're saving money, and we're 181 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: not buying no more laundry detergent. We're gonna use the 182 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: same dish washing liquid and close no more because that's 183 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: too much money to put all of him damn closing 184 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 1: of it. If he doesn't do, you're gonna bake the 185 00:11:53,600 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: funk out of Wow. Well I think we get the message. 186 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,079 Speaker 1: Thank you, Steve. Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter 187 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: to Instagram and Facebook and Steve Harvey FM and check 188 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Come and bleep 189 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 1: this out right here. Don't say you're listening to the 190 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show