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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: This week's Adult Education, we have Nina Hobson on, So, ladies,

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Speaker 2: this one's for you if you are actually all of

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Speaker 2: Windown is for you. But I don't think we have

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Speaker 2: a male listener. And then my uncle used to listen

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Speaker 2: ages ago, but I think he's dropped off.

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Speaker 1: Well you're there, give us a signal.

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Speaker 2: But this is all about safety, how to protect yourself,

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Speaker 2: parking lots, your kids, yourself, dates. Let's get Nina hops

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Speaker 2: it on. Nina, can you just I mean, your bio

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Speaker 2: is I mean, it's it's a book, it's so it's

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Speaker 2: so big. Can what can you tell the listeners who

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Speaker 2: you are, where you're from. Obviously they're going to know

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Speaker 2: where you're from in about two seconds, but just you know,

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Speaker 2: just kind of your your background and how it pertains

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Speaker 2: to what we're gonna talk about today.

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Speaker 3: Sure, well, thank you for having me on the show.

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Speaker 3: I'm really excited about it. But yeah, the accent gives

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Speaker 3: it away. So I am originally British. I joined the

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Speaker 3: British Police Force at eighteen, having watched an episode of

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Speaker 3: Cagneine Lacey and New Ladies That Are Too Young to

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Speaker 3: know who that is. But they inspired me to join

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Speaker 3: the police. So I joined the police.

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Speaker 4: And.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to be a dog handler. Wasn't able to

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Speaker 3: be for various reasons back then, because it's a while ago.

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Speaker 4: They didn't have females.

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Speaker 3: We just had a handbag as our protection and we

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Speaker 3: wore skirt and heels. Crazy And then So I was

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Speaker 3: a cop for fifteen years and during that time I

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Speaker 3: did everything possible. I had an amazing career. I worked

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Speaker 3: under cover, I worked in protection exec protection. I worked,

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Speaker 3: as you call it, a homicide detective. It sounds so

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Speaker 3: much more glamorous because we call it major crime officer

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Speaker 3: and it's not got the same ring. But so I

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Speaker 3: was a homicide detective. I work for seven years in

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Speaker 3: the child abuse unit, so investigating child murders and everything.

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Speaker 4: I'm kidnapped to abuse And yeah, that was.

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Speaker 2: That's got to be. That must have been hard.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, compartmentalizing that to come home at the end of

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Speaker 5: the day, that's really a lot.

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Speaker 3: It was. I mean I actually went to see a

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Speaker 3: shrink and said, hey, what's wrong with me? Because the

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Speaker 3: things I've seen in my life, I should be absolutely

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Speaker 3: cooky right now. And maybe some people will say I am,

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Speaker 3: but they just said I'm fortunate. You know, I could

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Speaker 3: go home, having seen the worst of the worst and

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Speaker 3: look at my children and hug my children and often

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Speaker 3: wake them in the middle of the night, just to

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Speaker 3: keep normal.

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Speaker 4: And I'm one of.

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Speaker 3: The fortunate people that's able to do that. So I'm very,

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Speaker 3: very privileged. So after my time in the police, I

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Speaker 3: became really disillusioned with the police force, because good cops

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Speaker 3: are really good cops, and bad cops get the press.

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Speaker 3: And so for a year I went undercover. I told

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Speaker 3: no one except a lawyer who advised me not to

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Speaker 3: do it, and I filmed internally the corruption within the

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Speaker 3: police force. And when I came out, I knew I'd

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Speaker 3: lost my job, so I knew fifteen years of my

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Speaker 3: adult life was gone. But I felt so passionate about

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Speaker 3: that that, you know, I did it. A documentary was

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Speaker 3: made about the findings, and actually as a result of that,

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Speaker 3: the way that sexual assaults were investigated changed across the board,

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Speaker 3: the processes, the laws, and so obviously now I look

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Speaker 3: back but at that with such pride. But at that

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Speaker 3: moment in time, I now don't have a job or

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Speaker 3: my beloved career, and I was sat feeling sorry for

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Speaker 3: myself when a gold envelope came through the letterbox and

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Speaker 3: I didn't know what it was, but I opened it

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Speaker 3: and it said that I was a finalist in UK

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Speaker 3: Woman of the Year for services to my country. And

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Speaker 3: I went to the most amazing event and I met

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Speaker 3: the most amazing people, and that was the moment that

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Speaker 3: I realized what I'd done was worth it. So and

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Speaker 3: I do apologize, I've got a bit of a cold.

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Speaker 4: But so then move on fast forward.

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Speaker 3: We moved to Australia, not because we were chased out

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Speaker 3: the country, although that's a way better story. And we

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Speaker 3: lived in Australia so our kids could have a nicer

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Speaker 3: sunshine life. And I set up a security company in

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Speaker 3: Australia and I one day again was called in the

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Speaker 3: middle of the night by a gentleman who was at

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Speaker 3: the time, I think probably still is Australia's wealthiest man.

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Speaker 3: And he said, my daughter's friend has an issue with

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Speaker 3: a stalker and I've been called and told you're the person.

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Speaker 3: So I tracked down this stalker who was making this

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Speaker 3: young girl's life hell, and then I then worked for

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Speaker 3: him and his family and his company in every.

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Speaker 4: Aspect of security.

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Speaker 3: I sold that company in Australia and then my big

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Speaker 3: kids moved to America, so it's all them, and I

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Speaker 3: decided that it was a time for me to not

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Speaker 3: be the other side of the world, and I moved

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Speaker 3: over to America and since I've been here, have thrived

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Speaker 3: in the security industry, have hopefully led and empowered females

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Speaker 3: in the security industry. And here's home now for the

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Speaker 3: rest of time, because my daughter married an American, so

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Speaker 3: ye're not coming back.

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Speaker 2: You're here. Wow, Well that's quite a resume. When it

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Speaker 2: comes to the safety for women, what is the biggest

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Speaker 2: thing that we're missing that we're doing I don't want

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Speaker 2: to say wrong, but that you see is the biggest problem.

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Speaker 3: You know, people talk all the time, and I'm very

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Speaker 3: I'm an advocate for doing whatever you can as a

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Speaker 3: woman to protect yourself. So people talk about going on

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Speaker 3: this self defense and doing that. In reality, to me,

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Speaker 3: in my experience, unless you're really well, really well trained,

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Speaker 3: sometimes that training it doesn't necessarily help at that moment.

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Speaker 3: And we all act really differently when we're confronted with

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Speaker 3: something that we're not used to, and there definitely is.

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Speaker 4: Awareness if you have some kind of training.

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Speaker 3: But I think for me, situational awareness all the time

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Speaker 3: is the.

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Speaker 4: Way that we protect ourselves.

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Speaker 3: So it may be, you know, the way that we

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Speaker 3: put our drinks down in a bar to make sure

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Speaker 3: that no one is going to be able to put

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Speaker 3: something into that drink, even you know, getting into an Uber,

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Speaker 3: I have a whole process when I get into an Uber.

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Speaker 2: What is your process when you get into an Uber?

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Speaker 4: Firstly, never take a water off a Uber driver.

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Speaker 3: There are times where that is being spiked, so don't

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Speaker 3: ever take a water. I always make a fake phone

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Speaker 3: call so I don't have anyone on the end of

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Speaker 3: the phone. But I firstly I say that oh sorry, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I just missed you. Oh you're only ten seconds away.

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Speaker 3: Oh I'm going to be late, so I have to go,

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Speaker 3: so that a nuber immediately realizes your house isn't empty

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Speaker 3: for any given time. I then also explain where I'm

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Speaker 3: going and how long it will take for me to

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Speaker 3: get there, and I've just put my locations on So

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Speaker 3: the fake person on the phone and the Uber driver

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Speaker 3: is listening to everything that I've said. They now know

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Speaker 3: that someone knows exactly where I am, who I'm with,

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Speaker 3: where I'm going, and that my house isn't left.

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Speaker 2: I guess I've never looked into it. But are there

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Speaker 2: stats for things that happen due to uber interactions or

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Speaker 2: like that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think they're becoming more and more publicized.

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Speaker 4: And I think because I haven't heard of that, certainly

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Speaker 4: can look at that.

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Speaker 3: From the company that I work for, torch Stone Global,

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Speaker 3: we have access. We have what's called a G socks,

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Speaker 3: so we have access to all kinds of intelligence. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: back to the original question. You know, it's situational awareness,

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Speaker 3: being aware all the time as best you can, you know.

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Speaker 4: And I'm not someone who says don't.

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Speaker 3: Go out and have a drunken wild night, but if

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Speaker 3: you're going to go out and have a drunken wild night,

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Speaker 3: don't do it on your own. Make sure somebody knows.

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Speaker 3: And the data, the dating sites and the dating situations

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Speaker 3: are so dangerous. And I recently did an investigation into

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Speaker 3: a young lady. She'd gone out on a date. It

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Speaker 3: was a last minute thing. She hadn't told anyone. The

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Speaker 3: only way that anyone knew she had gone on a

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Speaker 3: date was she took a picture in the Uber and

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Speaker 3: basically said, do you like my outfit? I'm meeting that

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Speaker 3: guy that I told you about, had as In told

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Speaker 3: you about. I've been talking to him. I again, I

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Speaker 3: often get phone calls in the middle of the night,

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Speaker 3: but I got a phone call at two in the

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Speaker 3: morning from her parents in Australia, and she was an

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Speaker 3: actress over here, so he got a lot of attention,

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Speaker 3: and they said, she's gone missing. We think she's dead.

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Speaker 3: This isn't like her. And for three days I believe

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Speaker 3: that I was going to tell her parents that she

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Speaker 3: had she had been killed or something, because we couldn't

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Speaker 3: find and even things like her her accounts had all

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Speaker 3: gone down. At nine o'clock, she ordered an uber to

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Speaker 3: get into an uber and hadn't got into the uber,

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Speaker 3: and we didn't. We didn't have that much to go on.

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Speaker 3: We did eventually locate the lady, and there's a belief

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Speaker 3: that she was drugged during her date. She could only

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Speaker 3: remember that she went to the bathroom and when she

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Speaker 3: came out, he had moved locations. He'd taken her where

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Speaker 3: they were sat into a darker corner of the restaurant

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Speaker 3: that was very private, and she said to him, why

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Speaker 3: if we move tables, and he said, because you know,

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Speaker 3: I want us to be private, and she said, with hindsight,

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Speaker 3: looking back, you know, she should have said, well, we

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Speaker 3: were fine where we were, but she took on board

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Speaker 3: he wanted to be in a more romantic area.

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Speaker 4: And then she can't remember anything.

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Speaker 3: The next thing was that she woke up in a

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Speaker 3: jail cell and that was where she was. But so

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Speaker 3: for me, the dating apps, I have a friend who

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Speaker 3: writes where she's going, who she's.

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Speaker 4: Going with in an envelope.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't give me that information because she says, I

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Speaker 3: know you'll turn up and sit at the back of

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Speaker 3: the restaurant. But if an incident or I didn't hear

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Speaker 3: from her, and even if it's hey, I'm okay at

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Speaker 3: this location. We share locations, then I open the envelope

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Speaker 3: and we go in with the troops. But there's just

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Speaker 3: some simple things that I think we should all be

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Speaker 3: aware of that make us safer.

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Speaker 5: So I do have a question concerning the drinks, because

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Speaker 5: even here in Lower Broadway in Nashville, there's been a

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Speaker 5: huge uprising of people getting drugs in their drinks. A

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Speaker 5: lot of them are actually males, which is interesting to me.

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Speaker 5: Because they are kind of banking on the embarrassment that

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Speaker 5: they'll have that they wouldn't call the corps, think that

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Speaker 5: they drink too much week up in their hotel room.

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Speaker 1: Belonging is gone, the phone is gone, yeap.

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Speaker 5: So there's some pro apptive campaigns down on Broadway right

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Speaker 5: now with drink covers and those kinds of things. But

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Speaker 5: we have a lot of really young listeners for this show,

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Speaker 5: sweet sweet, twenty somethings, all looking for love, and I

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Speaker 5: know that if I was to be single again, the

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Speaker 5: dating apps overwhelming so much. It feels like it just

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Speaker 5: it feels like we're hearing more of these stories than

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Speaker 5: true love, right, and so it gets overwhelming. So if

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Speaker 5: you and you're a mother, like, what is your best

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Speaker 5: advice for these girls going out on dates on apps?

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Speaker 4: Is it?

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Speaker 5: I mean, it gets so overwhelming, right, you don't want

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Speaker 5: to make everybody a serial killer there. We want to

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Speaker 5: all meet a mate and maybe potentially have a family.

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Speaker 5: But it seems so overwhelming that all we hear about

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Speaker 5: are these really diabolical evenings and people gone missing and

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Speaker 5: having just set location. So, like, what's some really good

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Speaker 5: proactive tips in the dating world?

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Speaker 3: Okay, so, and I hear exactly what you're saying, and

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Speaker 3: we don't want to turn. You know, everyone still wants

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Speaker 3: to live their life and we don't want to turn

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Speaker 3: everyone to be absolutely parent and petrified.

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Speaker 5: And because I'm paranoid and petrified, Nina, I am. I'm

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Speaker 5: I'm the woman who's like, not that man looks suspicious

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Speaker 5: in target. I'm not taking my babies anywhere.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 2: But but I when you talk to the drink part

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Speaker 2: of things, I'm the psycho that even at even at

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Speaker 2: refuge or counseling place or flower child, any open water container,

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Speaker 2: I never drink from.

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Speaker 1: I know, I'm like drink.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, who knows candy, but maybe they put

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Speaker 2: something there. I mean, I was so scared of any

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Speaker 2: if my drink was sat down, I will order a

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Speaker 2: new drink because I maybe took my eye off it

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Speaker 2: for a second, Like I just why are we this way? Well,

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Speaker 2: I think my mom scared me about it, you know.

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Speaker 2: But also I'm glad you know me too. That was

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Speaker 2: just But even now, what I've been told was my

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Speaker 2: old sitter that was helping us on a movie. She

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Speaker 2: was on location with me, and she gave she had

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Speaker 2: the day off, so she went to New York. The

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Speaker 2: bartender before she even got the drink though, was it

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Speaker 2: was spiked, So that was you know, that was that's

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Speaker 2: what's also happening, which is so screwed up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know, we're always going to find the

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Speaker 3: bad people in this world who are going to use

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Speaker 3: those opportunities to be a bartender to do that and

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Speaker 3: then you know, offer to walk you out of you

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Speaker 3: to take you home because you're in the bartender that's

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Speaker 3: looked happy and friendly. But I think, and you know,

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Speaker 3: I'm I'm the same. I'm good on your mom because

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Speaker 3: I mean, the fact that you've been overcautious could potentially

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Speaker 3: be the reason that you're going to be safer. So again,

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Speaker 3: it's about being smart and really trying to just think

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Speaker 3: have things as a habit.

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Speaker 4: So you know, the drink set.

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Speaker 3: For example, if you or your friend aren't looking at

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Speaker 3: your drink and it's going to cost you another drink,

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Speaker 3: is that not a better option than obviously something awful

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Speaker 3: happening to you. And the dating sites and lot, I'm

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Speaker 3: a fifty five year old woman trying to find love

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Speaker 3: and it's no different to the young twenty year olds

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Speaker 3: and you know, we all act really differently when our

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Speaker 3: hearts are involved as to when our heads are involved.

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Speaker 4: And I'm the worst. I don't tell anyone anything.

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Speaker 3: I just do my thing and probably don't practice anything

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Speaker 3: that I preach. But I think there's just some really

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Speaker 3: simple things like just get to know a person. You know.

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Speaker 3: You can look at even somebody's profile of when are

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Speaker 3: they contacting you, how is it written? And again, have

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Speaker 3: a process in your mind. So I'm all, I mean,

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Speaker 3: I've cut people down straight away, but I'm get to

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Speaker 3: know someone via text, and then I have that conversation

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Speaker 3: with them, and if that conversation doesn't feel right, no

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Speaker 3: one gets the second chance. But I think, and then

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Speaker 3: when you're going out, just make sure somebody knows where

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Speaker 3: you're going.

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Speaker 4: I'm going out.

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Speaker 3: You don't have to give any intimate details of a person,

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Speaker 3: but I'm going out to this location. I'm going on

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Speaker 3: this date. Share a location. I would always suggest, because again,

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Speaker 3: it costs nothing. If no one has to get to

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Speaker 3: you with your best friend, with your mom, with your

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Speaker 3: best friend's mom, it doesn't matter who it is. But

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Speaker 3: just make sure that you're letting somebody know, and just

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Speaker 3: be mindful when something does feel too good. And I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to put myself back many years to the twenty

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Speaker 3: year old situation, which is a long time ago. But

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Speaker 3: you know, when something feels too good, when the amazing

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Speaker 3: restaurant or the offer of a trip or meet me

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Speaker 3: over in this state, just be very and I'm not

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Speaker 3: saying that doesn't happen, and we all want to find

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Speaker 3: that person, but just be very mindful and just double

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Speaker 3: check yourself before you do things. Just have the opportunity

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Speaker 3: to say, got feeling.

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Speaker 4: My gut.

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Speaker 3: Feeling has literally saved my life so many times, so

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Speaker 3: many times. Yeah, and go with your gut because on

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Speaker 3: the one or two occasions I haven't, I've ended up

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Speaker 3: like in a situation I don't want to be, So

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Speaker 3: you know, do that.

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Speaker 2: And when you go somewhere, Yeah, I was gonna say

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Speaker 2: parking lots what it's like, especially especially moms that we're moms,

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Speaker 2: you know, as like you are, so we're out of

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Speaker 2: numbered with kids. We're out numbered with kids. What is

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Speaker 2: the best tip for moms during the season two of

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Speaker 2: Christmas shopping and all of.

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Speaker 3: That, and again, light because darkness is an attraction for crime.

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Speaker 3: So if you go to park somewhere. Try and park

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Speaker 3: somewhere that's light and not you know, even the back

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Speaker 3: the back row of the car park, or the eighth

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Speaker 3: floor of the maulty story. If you can get somewhere

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Speaker 3: that's obviously lower down where there's likely to be more people.

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Speaker 3: If you ever feel uncomfortable in any way and you're

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Speaker 3: getting in a lift or and you think somebody is,

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Speaker 3: you know, making you uncomfortable, don't get in the lift.

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Speaker 3: And again we all do that a lot of the time.

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Speaker 3: We have a feeling and we don't act on it.

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Speaker 3: We see things, and nowadays it's sometimes not safe to

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Speaker 3: act on things that we see. But we have to

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Speaker 3: start to learn to act on what we actually see

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Speaker 3: and what we feel as opposed to what we're expected

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Speaker 3: to do or feel. And it's same as if you

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Speaker 3: ever feel that you know anyone was following you, keep driving,

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Speaker 3: don't go to a home address, go.

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Speaker 4: To a police station. Pull up at a police station.

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Speaker 3: Guarantee that the person behind you is going to drive

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Speaker 3: straight on past. And I know that these are kind

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Speaker 3: of extremes, but I think if we're any kind of

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Speaker 3: training and understanding an awareness before an incident happens helps

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Speaker 3: when an incident happens, because there's a few minutes of

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Speaker 3: or those few seconds of decision making can be very

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Speaker 3: important to your own safety.

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Speaker 2: I have a question around activity because I love to run.

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Speaker 2: I love to run, and there's some pretty secluded streets

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Speaker 2: that in country farmland that will run on. It's there's

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Speaker 2: houses around, but there they're a little bit away. But

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Speaker 2: there's always that thought. I'm like, man, if there was

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Speaker 2: like a big old truck that came with a bunch

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Speaker 2: of dudes, I'm like, and it's and it's made me

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Speaker 2: not enjoy my And again, I love running. I love

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Speaker 2: running outside. So what's something that I that runners or

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Speaker 2: people that want to go out for walks that they're

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Speaker 2: not in the neighborhood. How can they protect themselves?

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Speaker 3: I think one of the things is and that example

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Speaker 3: you just gave if that happened. Firstly, even if somebody

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Speaker 3: wants to ask you for help, don't don't stop for help.

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Speaker 3: You know it may bee, hey, have you got a

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Speaker 3: mobile phone because our truck's broken down?

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Speaker 4: Keep on running.

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Speaker 3: And that's not being rude, being smart unless you feel

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Speaker 3: like you know that you.

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Speaker 4: Can see against your situational awareness.

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Speaker 3: So of what's really happening, have one ear pod in

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Speaker 3: and one earpod out, because one of the things that

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Speaker 3: we do very often nowadays, and especially you know, the

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Speaker 3: younger generation, where their Instagram and their mobile and their

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Speaker 3: everything is there everything keeping an earpod out it means

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Speaker 3: that you are aware of the situation around you more.

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Speaker 4: And so while you're running.

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Speaker 3: And enjoy your music, will also be aware of what

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Speaker 3: may or may not be happening alongside you on the street.

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Speaker 4: And I'm sure.

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Speaker 3: You know, I really do want you to enjoy your

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Speaker 3: running again, and it's worst case scenario by being a

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Speaker 3: little bit more aware and again tell someone where you.

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Speaker 2: Going, Well, I think the whole you know, one of

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Speaker 2: our close areas here is a high sex trafficking area,

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Speaker 2: and you know, start to think about that, it's just

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Speaker 2: it makes it makes me more freaked out because im

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Speaker 2: all right, where are they gonna sell me? You know

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Speaker 2: if like like my mind goes to like those all

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Speaker 2: those thoughts and it's sad that that's where we're at.

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Speaker 5: Well, that's a good segue because my question for you

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Speaker 5: is is the world mostly.

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Speaker 1: Good or mostly bad? You know, because I feel we

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Speaker 1: all are living in the one.

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Speaker 5: Percent, two percent, five percent statistics in the stories, and

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Speaker 5: I like that because there's such an awareness that I

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Speaker 5: do think it is actually quite literally saving our lives.

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Speaker 5: I think someone will listen to this podcast and because

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Speaker 5: of something you've said in your decades of expertise, they

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Speaker 5: will make a different decision. So I like the information sharing.

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Speaker 5: But if you're an over sensitive person like the two

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Speaker 5: girls on this couch are deeply empathetic, and you know,

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Speaker 5: always kind of on alert, you've seen the worst of

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Speaker 5: the worst you have in your career, no doubt it.

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Speaker 5: I do not doubt it at all, have seen the

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Speaker 5: worst things. Do you still believe the world is mostly good?

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Speaker 5: And how do you believe that the.

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Speaker 4: World is definitely mostly good? Okay? You know I have.

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Speaker 3: I lived in the dark side, and I've worked in

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Speaker 3: the dark side, and you know, I rescued sex traffic

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Speaker 3: children from near where you are, and I still come

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Speaker 3: home every day and realize what a great world we

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Speaker 3: are in, and we are talking, you know, a very

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Speaker 3: small percentage of the world that I see, unfortunately, but

404
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Speaker 3: this awareness to me is so important because it keeps

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Speaker 3: us safer. And if this one one thing I've said

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Speaker 3: keeps one person safe, then that's all that matters. If

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Speaker 3: what we've said keeps a lot more people safe, that's

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Speaker 3: even better. But no, the world is a good place

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Speaker 3: and we can make it better.

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Speaker 2: Well, Nina, thank you so much for coming on. We

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Speaker 2: really appreciate it. And again, like you said, if it

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Speaker 2: helps one person, then job well done, and you're doing

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Speaker 2: an amazing job. So thank you so much.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: All right, appreciate you. Thanks for coming on. We love

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Speaker 2: I feel better. Bye, okay by Nina. Bye. You know

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Speaker 2: it's funny when when she speaks about situation situational awareness.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I had to chuckle to myself because my

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Speaker 2: ex husband would say, you have no situational awareness, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, with what sense. He's like, I'm making a

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Speaker 2: peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you're trying to have

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Speaker 2: a conversation with me.

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Speaker 1: Not the same too, One of these things is not

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Speaker 1: like the other.

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Speaker 2: Sorry to bother you.

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Speaker 5: Maybe your situational awareness was a little off during that time,

427
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Speaker 5: but not about the v.

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Speaker 2: I also heard too, and I was going to ask

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Speaker 2: her that we're running out of time, the what if

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Speaker 2: you were attacked? And this was from someone that is

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Speaker 2: in the law enforcement area. They said, to make the

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Speaker 2: biggest scene you could possibly make, like scream fight as much,

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Speaker 2: because once you get in that car the chances of

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Speaker 2: you coming out of that car are, like, the statistic

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Speaker 2: is very low.

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Speaker 5: I just feel like I'm living in such fear so

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Speaker 5: often recently, like I don't take the kids to target.

438
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 2: We're not doing Oh friend, that's you. Come on girl,

439
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 2: I just don't know.

440
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 1: But there's one of me and three of them.

441
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 5: I know I've done it, you know, I know. But

442
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,479
Speaker 5: it's also it's like the hypervigilance just wears me out.

443
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 5: I'm like, this is not enjoyable. Yeah, I don't know

444
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 5: where the middle is. But Nina says the world's still

445
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,400
Speaker 5: mostly good good, and she's seen it all