Speaker 1: Brooking jewels, second date, up date. Nothing says a fun
Speaker 1: date like a Goofendorfer coffee table or a lack shelf
Speaker 1: or a Gorfin Dugan couch. What we're talking about? Ikea
Speaker 1: the best place to have a first date. No way,
Speaker 1: I gave anxiety with the word Ikea. Oh if your
Speaker 1: name is Craig and you emailed us to do a
Speaker 1: second date update you love going to Ikea on first dates,
Speaker 1: because apparently that's what he did. No way, what are
Speaker 1: you doing, dude? No, no, no, let me explain. So
Speaker 1: I met this squirrel on Tinder. Her name's Tammy. At
Speaker 1: times she was really cute and I kind of wanted
Speaker 1: to take her on like a different date, um than normal.
Speaker 1: So it was like, I'm gonna be creative. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take her on Ikea date. And IQ is quiet, it's fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not. It's stressful. You can't find your way out
Speaker 1: of that place. It lasts for hours, and there's no alcohol.
Speaker 1: Well I mean not if you bring your own. Did
Speaker 1: you bring in some alcohol into the Ikea exactly like
Speaker 1: a nice little flasks? No one's gonna know. I did.
Speaker 1: You may have just turned me. I don't know, why,
Speaker 1: but I feel like that would make it more bearable. Plus,
Speaker 1: when you don't have to actually buy anything, it's actually
Speaker 1: a really nice experience because it's like this mansion that
Speaker 1: you're walking around, a mansion full of particle board. So
Speaker 1: how did you sell this to a girl you met
Speaker 1: on Tinder? So we were chatting and she kind of,
Speaker 1: you know, raised how it was like she goes on
Speaker 1: a lot of normal, boring dates, and how she's kind
Speaker 1: of over getting coffee, kind of getting she was kind
Speaker 1: of bored with going a restaurant. And I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, well I'm gonna take you on like a
Speaker 1: fun date, like on a different date. And I bet
Speaker 1: you she never saw that coming exactly. Yeah, she just
Speaker 1: put up the challenge and I tried to meet it
Speaker 1: as best as I can. I actually think it went
Speaker 1: really really well because we met at Ikea and we
Speaker 1: like started to walk around, you know, and it's fun.
Speaker 1: It's really taking stupid pictures, were pretending to watch like
Speaker 1: the Cardboard TV, where like we have like a pretend
Speaker 1: argument in the in the kitchen. It was like so
Speaker 1: much fun. It was like performance art at Ikea. I
Speaker 1: bet that was fun exactly, you know, And we go
Speaker 1: and we have like the Swedish meatballs at the cafeteria
Speaker 1: or whatever, and like no one was there, and you know,
Speaker 1: at the end, I kind of bought her fake flowers
Speaker 1: because they have like those flowers at the very end
Speaker 1: that you can get, yeah too, like come on, that's
Speaker 1: a good day, right, well, and it sounds like she
Speaker 1: was like in it, like she was into this totally.
Speaker 1: So to me, you guys are a match made in heaven.
Speaker 1: I mean, thanks, yeah, and you don't have to spend
Speaker 1: a lot on dinner. I mean the Swedish meatballs are
Speaker 1: super cheap, yeah, and they are delicious. So how did it?
Speaker 1: Did you guys go anywhere other than Ikea or did
Speaker 1: your romance in right there in the Ikea parking lot?
Speaker 1: I mean I just kind of walked her to her
Speaker 1: car and just said all right, well, let's get together soon,
Speaker 1: and she was like yeah, I'd like that, And then
Speaker 1: I texted her like a few days later, didn't hear anything.
Speaker 1: And it's been like a week in half now, I think,
Speaker 1: and still haven't heard anything. So and you know when
Speaker 1: you asked her out again, did you ask her to
Speaker 1: like a normal let's go get drinks at happy hour thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, like if you're asking if I want to
Speaker 1: bring her to Best Buy next time? No, So why
Speaker 1: do you think she's not calling you back then? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean maybe she like went to all
Speaker 1: of her friends and told her that some random guy
Speaker 1: off of Tinder it took her on an Ikea date
Speaker 1: and they probably all acted the same way that you did.
Speaker 1: Yeah maybe Andy, We're like, what is that? All right, well,
Speaker 1: we'll play a song, come back, call her and get
Speaker 1: your second date update. All right, okay, thank you so much. Okay,
Speaker 1: looking jubil in the morning. Second update. If you're just
Speaker 1: joining us for today's second date update, Let's go over
Speaker 1: the steps to building the perfect relationship. Insert person A
Speaker 1: into person B. That is quick. That's a quick movie relationship.
Speaker 1: Realize that person A doesn't quite fit into person BE
Speaker 1: so reevaluate and realize that you're missing a screw and
Speaker 1: that's why you can't fit person A into person B.
Speaker 1: And then completely lose your and just who cares about
Speaker 1: the relationship anymore. That's at least how you build a
Speaker 1: relationship when it started at Ikea. Like Craig, who's on
Speaker 1: the phone for a second date update? Today, Craig actually
Speaker 1: took his date to Ikea. It sounds weird, but he
Speaker 1: swears they had a great time. And I think it's
Speaker 1: strange because like she was into this Ikea idea, But
Speaker 1: maybe she was looking for more than just Ikea on
Speaker 1: that date. Or you know, maybe she didn't want to
Speaker 1: go to Ikea at all and that was a really
Speaker 1: bad idea. Maybe that is an honest reflection of what happened.
Speaker 1: Maybe she just acted like she enjoyed going IQA with you. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna dial her phone umber right now, see if
Speaker 1: we can get her on the phone and find out
Speaker 1: what we're wrong. Okay, okay, cool? Hello, can I speak
Speaker 1: to Tammy please? This is Tammy. Hey, Tammy, how are you?
Speaker 1: This is Jewel from Brook and Jewl in the Morning. Um,
Speaker 1: what is that? It's a radio show called Brooke and
Speaker 1: Jewel in the Morning, That's what it is. Okay, Why
Speaker 1: why are you calling me? Well, I'm calling you because
Speaker 1: we do a segment on our radio show called the
Speaker 1: Second Date Update. Okay, you still sound confused. I don't
Speaker 1: know what that is. I don't really listen to the radio.
Speaker 1: Is that much? Okay? Good? I'm glad A second date Update.
Speaker 1: What it is where if you go out on a
Speaker 1: date with somebody and then end up not calling them
Speaker 1: after they email us to see if we can get
Speaker 1: you on the phone and find out what went wrong.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, okay, And so one of our
Speaker 1: listeners emailed us about you. Oh great. Yeah, it just
Speaker 1: keeps getting better, doesn't it. I'm gonna say that you
Speaker 1: probably remember this date because it happened at Ikea. So yeah,
Speaker 1: Craig is wondering why you're not calling him back. He
Speaker 1: told us about your Ikea date, and everybody in the
Speaker 1: room feels like you're probably not calling it back because
Speaker 1: he took you on a date to Ikea. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't believe he called a radio station about this. Well,
Speaker 1: he clearly doesn't make good decisions. I mean, he took
Speaker 1: you on a date to Ikea and now he does this,
Speaker 1: so I can fully see how he'd call a radio station. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I kid, I can see that now. I don't know, though,
Speaker 1: it sounded like from his description you were into it.
Speaker 1: Like he said, you guys were like pretend watching TV
Speaker 1: and you enjoyed the Swedish meatballs. I mean, it was
Speaker 1: a cool idea. It sounds like he already kind of
Speaker 1: told you a lot about it. Yeah he did. I
Speaker 1: mean he pretty much broke it down to us, said,
Speaker 1: you guys hung out there, watched the fake TVs and
Speaker 1: even had to pretend fight in one of the bedrooms
Speaker 1: or something like that. We did all that was fun. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: if that was fun, then why don't you want to
Speaker 1: see him again? There was a couple moments there that
Speaker 1: it went from being kind of fun too kind of
Speaker 1: weird and uncomfortable. He didn't use one of the display toilets, Diddy,
Speaker 1: Oh no, he did not do that. I don't know
Speaker 1: what it could be worse than that, So what did
Speaker 1: he do? Well, it wasn't as bad as that. I'll
Speaker 1: give him that. We went to different beds around the store. Um,
Speaker 1: and the first time we got to one, he jokingly
Speaker 1: was like, oh, tuck me in, tell me a story.
Speaker 1: And the first time it was cute and my guy
Speaker 1: did it, and he was like, talk to me in
Speaker 1: a mom voice, and so I did that and like,
Speaker 1: sure it was a little weird, but like I was
Speaker 1: playing the game, playing long. Plus, he could have gotten
Speaker 1: the total other direction and been just a total perv
Speaker 1: the first time you got in bed. That's true. That's true,
Speaker 1: and he did not do that, so I am thankful
Speaker 1: for that. But it's just that that happened like three
Speaker 1: or four more times, like each time we came to
Speaker 1: a bed, he wanted me to tuck him in and
Speaker 1: read him a story. Then he was he was asking
Speaker 1: for me to like when I started talking, if I
Speaker 1: started reading this story in a normal voice, he was like, no,
Speaker 1: use your mom voice. Come on to his defense. Maybe
Speaker 1: he's just really bad at role playing and he's not
Speaker 1: very creative. So he saw that you thought it was
Speaker 1: funny the first time, and he just kept the joke going. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess so. But then he put his thumb in
Speaker 1: his mouth and it was it was weird. It just
Speaker 1: way too much and it was creeping me out. Yeah
Speaker 1: I can see that creeping out even after one time,
Speaker 1: but over and over and over again, reread me a story, mama.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, it was weird. I love how Akia brought
Speaker 1: out his mommy issues. Yeah, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know what happened. I just I had to get out
Speaker 1: of there. Well, then I probably shouldn't let you know
Speaker 1: that he's on the phone listening to this conversation. Wants
Speaker 1: to talk to you, Mama. God, you're joking right, No,
Speaker 1: I'm not your little boys listening. Hey tell me it's uh,
Speaker 1: it's me Craig. Hey, Craig, what's going on? Um to
Speaker 1: listening to the story about your experience of our a
Speaker 1: key a date. Um, I don't know. I felt like
Speaker 1: the first time I did that, it was really funny
Speaker 1: and weird. I felt like you laughed really hard and
Speaker 1: I did I do this thing where like I beat
Speaker 1: a joke to death and uh, and I definitely did
Speaker 1: it this time, and I, um man, yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: that is a little weird. So it was a joke
Speaker 1: and not some weird sort of fetish fantasy thing that
Speaker 1: you're trying to live out in ikea. No, no, no, no no, no, no,
Speaker 1: not at all, nothing like that. But it was being
Speaker 1: awkward and thinking that you thought something was funny. And
Speaker 1: then I realized in retrospect, oh my god, that was
Speaker 1: that was so creepy? Are you sure? But like you
Speaker 1: wanted me to call you craggy pooh pooh? Yeah again,
Speaker 1: funny at the time, now that I hear it again,
Speaker 1: totally creepy. See at least you can admit that it
Speaker 1: was really creepy, Tommy. I mean I was on the
Speaker 1: side until the thumb sucking thing, and then I felt
Speaker 1: like that pushed it over the edge for me. But
Speaker 1: maybe you're more forgiving, Craig. I had a really good time,
Speaker 1: but it went from like zero to sixty in like
Speaker 1: two seconds, and it's just, I know, real creepy. I
Speaker 1: can I be like super honest with you. Is that
Speaker 1: when I like someone and I think that something's going
Speaker 1: really well, I just get kind of nervous. And I
Speaker 1: think about two thirds of the way through the date,
Speaker 1: I felt like we were really grooving and um, and
Speaker 1: when I get nervous, my jokes just go down the toilet.
Speaker 1: Can I get really nervous I become a two year
Speaker 1: old and suck my thumb? Yeah? No, I just thought
Speaker 1: it was really funny at first, and then I got
Speaker 1: really super awkward by the end. You could probably tell
Speaker 1: because by the third time I let out that weird
Speaker 1: giggle that was supposed to be a joke. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't remember that craggy poo. I want to hear
Speaker 1: the giggle. I'm not. I don't think I could do
Speaker 1: it again. Do you want me to read you a story.
Speaker 1: I can't go down this road because I might try
Speaker 1: to be funny and it's not all right, I'll save you, then, Tammy,
Speaker 1: would you like to go out on a second date
Speaker 1: with Craggy Poop? Now that you know it wasn't a
Speaker 1: weird thing and it was just a joke, we will
Speaker 1: pay for it. I don't know. My friends gave me
Speaker 1: a lot of crap when I told him about the
Speaker 1: Ikea ordeal. Oh come on, he's the most self aware
Speaker 1: weirdo that we've had. That's true. Come on, mamma, Tammy,
Speaker 1: contact me into bed again. Who wait? Is that Tammy
Speaker 1: talking talking? No? That was sorry, it's so weird. It's
Speaker 1: so weird. I don't do it if you know. It's
Speaker 1: so weird and it's so believable. Yeah, I'm like a girl.
Speaker 1: It sounded like a horror movie, is what it sounds like?
Speaker 1: That was the voice who was using that night. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh. Well, I'm just I'm just trying to be funny.
Speaker 1: Please go out with me again. If you could come
Speaker 1: back from that, Craig, it's going to be amazing. I promise.
Speaker 1: Have you gone on one more day with me. I
Speaker 1: promise no more MoMA's Tammy chokes Craig. I want to
Speaker 1: hang out with you because I want to hear that
Speaker 1: voice more Tammy. What do you think will you go
Speaker 1: out with No? No, I'm not going out on another
Speaker 1: day with you. I have nightmare just hearing that weird
Speaker 1: voice that you're doing. I do too. I don't blame you, Craig.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, no second date for you. That's okay. Broken
Speaker 1: jewel in the morning, very appropriate text message at seven
Speaker 1: eight five nine two. All it says is wt F
Speaker 1: about today's second date. Update. Yeah, if you didn't hear it,
Speaker 1: that was taped. Well, Brooke was still here. She's out
Speaker 1: on maternity leaven. Of course Jackie is filling in. And
Speaker 1: Jackie's jaw dropped when she heard this dude's voice. So
Speaker 1: balloon voice. Yeah, this dude Craig wanted to call Tammy.
Speaker 1: They went on an Ikea date. He thought it'd be
Speaker 1: fun to go to Ikea and walk around weird too.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was pretty weird. But the reason she wasn't
Speaker 1: calling back was because he kept getting into bed. I
Speaker 1: mean like, read me a story in this weird voice,
Speaker 1: and he said he was doing it as a joke,
Speaker 1: and then he actually did the voice that he was doing,
Speaker 1: and I understand why she wasn't calling back. Here's his
Speaker 1: normal voice. I actually think it went really really well. Okay,
Speaker 1: And here's the voice that he was doing. Come on,
Speaker 1: Mama Tammy, Tom tat me into bed again? So out
Speaker 1: of a horror movie. Yeah, I'm gonna hear this in
Speaker 1: my nightmares. Now I am on, Mama Tammy, Tom tat
Speaker 1: me into bed again? So free. It's creepy, but all
Speaker 1: kidding aside. He was just trying to be funny. Come on,
Speaker 1: come on, Mama tan. Nothing funny about that. I just
Speaker 1: think as a female I would it would get old.
Speaker 1: First of all, maybe the first time I died laughing
Speaker 1: about sice. But then if he kept doing it, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, you're a freak. This guy has a weird
Speaker 1: fetish or something. He wants his diaper chain and Mama's
Speaker 1: not doing it. Remember, if you want to do a
Speaker 1: second date update, all you have to do is email
Speaker 1: the show and we will call the person who didn't
Speaker 1: call you. But come on, mama chan also just out
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Speaker 1: been in a car accident. Yeah, like you're driving along
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Speaker 1: want to give you the money. And that's where the
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Speaker 1: get in there and ask them a question because it
Speaker 1: costs nothing for a consultation and you don't pay anything
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Speaker 1: They're available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week,
Speaker 1: and they've gotten over one hundred million dollars for their clients.
Speaker 1: Come on, Mama, Tammy, Tom put me into bed again.
Speaker 1: They'll tell you things like that.