Speaker 1: This is exactly right, Karen.
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Speaker 2: sleeping in this heat.
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Speaker 3: You're welcome.
Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 4: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 4: much baggage you claim, and give us time and a
Speaker 4: terminal and gay we want to send you off in style.
Speaker 4: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 4: Malcorn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do your need to ride?
Speaker 6: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Ride? Do you need with
Speaker 1: Karen and Chris.
Speaker 3: Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 1: Fairbanks and this is Karen Tilgara.
Speaker 2: We're switching it up and doing a PM drive. It's dark,
Speaker 2: it's dark outside.
Speaker 1: I'm scared. It is scary, but I promise I'm here
Speaker 1: for you. Are you well?
Speaker 2: I just crashing it. There's nothing I could do. You're
Speaker 2: controlling the vehicle. I just said i'd be here for you.
Speaker 2: I didn't say i'd have a plan as to how
Speaker 2: to help you.
Speaker 1: Now, let's make a plan right now in case.
Speaker 3: I if I shoot my arm out, yes, the stop short.
Speaker 1: You can shoot it to that point, but then shoot
Speaker 1: it toward the steering wheel, all right, of course, Like
Speaker 1: if that's the we're assuming that, Like, say, something happens
Speaker 1: to me, large shard of glasgows into both my eyes.
Speaker 1: You have to take control of this vehicle. I won't
Speaker 1: stop stepping on the gas right, I will take a
Speaker 1: moment to more in your loss.
Speaker 2: No, don't grab.
Speaker 1: Them, because grab the mic, grab your bike. That's the
Speaker 1: most important party. They're brand new to use two mics
Speaker 1: as we die. That's probably the most.
Speaker 2: Important Stephen gouts new mics with little furry windscreens.
Speaker 1: They're very adorable. And their wireless, which I think is
Speaker 1: the you buried the lead. They're wireless loves. I'm never
Speaker 1: in my never, in all my illustrious years in show business,
Speaker 1: have I seen a wireless love.
Speaker 3: I've never seen anything like this.
Speaker 2: How do we have better technology than most feature film sets?
Speaker 1: They must be brand new and they're cute.
Speaker 2: It looks like a little black cat when they get scared,
Speaker 2: and their backs all spiky.
Speaker 1: It's just like Halloween right on our chests. It's like
Speaker 1: we've taken Halloween to heart.
Speaker 2: It's coming early this year with this spiky little cat
Speaker 2: number I did I ever tell you about because I
Speaker 2: had a black cat that. Yes, we've talked about all that,
Speaker 2: but ideas we've talked about the cat as this new Halloween.
Speaker 2: It's new stories about old cats. Okay, there is a human. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a great time to jet into the street pitch black.
Speaker 1: Why not?
Speaker 3: This is I want to wear a dark sweatshirt.
Speaker 2: She was she was I think, speaking of cats, she
Speaker 2: was a cat burglar anyway, my cat.
Speaker 1: One night, I may have told this.
Speaker 2: I grabbed an old pumpkin I had carved and it
Speaker 2: I'd let it sit on the porch too long, and
Speaker 2: I grabbed the stem and it ripped off this rotten pumpkin,
Speaker 2: and a rat was a giant.
Speaker 1: You definitely told them bit more what I love. I
Speaker 1: have told it.
Speaker 2: I love that story of stories, and it just I'll
Speaker 2: never forget how the cat in such a human way,
Speaker 2: I got scared and lapped into the air. It just
Speaker 2: makes me and his back hair did used to like
Speaker 2: grease up and get spiky.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like greeting cards. Yes, you know what's funny.
Speaker 1: My dog George, when we're at the dog park and
Speaker 1: there's a dog George doesn't like, she gets a dark
Speaker 1: brown strip of hair on her back because she's part
Speaker 1: People have said she's that means that she's part some
Speaker 1: kind of damn dog whatever. But it's like when it's
Speaker 1: when she kind of when she doesn't like another dog,
Speaker 1: like it's her hackles or whatever. But they turn darker
Speaker 1: brown and they stand up, so she gets like this
Speaker 1: weird stripe down her back. That's how I know she's
Speaker 1: gonna start a fight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what, it's that call where a butterfly will suddenly
Speaker 2: look like the devil's face or something.
Speaker 3: It's some sort of a protective right.
Speaker 1: Uh you mean Silence the Lambs the film?
Speaker 2: Yeah, simply you know how sometimes you back up, you
Speaker 2: back to play against the wall, and they just fire
Speaker 2: right in Joni Foster's mouth.
Speaker 1: They make a lady suit, and they refuse to go
Speaker 1: down without a fight. They run all around that house
Speaker 1: with their their night vision goggles on. I swear to God,
Speaker 1: you've talked about this before. But the end, and I
Speaker 1: mean I will talk about this till the day I die.
Speaker 1: The end of the movie sounds the Lambs, which is
Speaker 1: a perfet. It's a perfect film. You can rewatch it
Speaker 1: as many times as you need to, and I'm not
Speaker 1: a big rewatcher. I've rewatched that movie twenty times.
Speaker 2: I like how she overenunciates yeah, doctor lecter.
Speaker 1: I like the way.
Speaker 2: She talks doctor lacertor elector.
Speaker 1: That was just me being weird. But the ending of
Speaker 1: that movie is worth twenty five endings of any other movie.
Speaker 1: It's better than the ending of any movie ever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it really is. And it's a true story. Now that's
Speaker 1: not true. I you told me. Please, I wish it
Speaker 1: was true. Let me just pretend it'd be amazing. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's so good, it's the best. I went to.
Speaker 2: My sister is a big fan of John Lovett and
Speaker 2: the pod Saved America, Saves America, and they.
Speaker 1: Are saving America.
Speaker 2: And I saw they do a lie of love it
Speaker 2: or leave it at the improv. And I had never
Speaker 2: seen him, I knew of him. He's he's great.
Speaker 3: It was great. But during it he said his partner.
Speaker 2: I don't know if he means his partner in the
Speaker 2: podcast or his husband, but he said he'd never listened
Speaker 2: to a single episode.
Speaker 3: And I have to admit I hadn't listened.
Speaker 2: I've had listened to clips, but I hadn't listened to
Speaker 2: any of my favorite Murder episodes. I don't know why
Speaker 2: I'm not a big podcast listener. Yeah, and I listened
Speaker 2: to a ton of them, and it's great.
Speaker 1: You guys do a great.
Speaker 2: Yes, Nightmares, it's so good. No wonder to run Away Hit.
Speaker 2: I'm jumping in a little late.
Speaker 3: I started with the girl got.
Speaker 1: Her arms cut off.
Speaker 5: And.
Speaker 1: She's number one's everyone's favorite.
Speaker 3: You know, I watched some new stuff.
Speaker 2: I want some recap where people ask you guys awkward questions,
Speaker 2: and I was feeling it. It's great. I really enjoyed it. Chris,
Speaker 2: My sister loves it. She's a big fan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a fan of her fan. Yes, you like
Speaker 1: her taste. I do. But wait, sorry, really quick, And
Speaker 1: I don't mean to make it totally about me, although
Speaker 1: I love that it is. Yes, also because I have
Speaker 1: to admit when you started that story, because I didn't
Speaker 1: think it was going to be about me. I wasn't
Speaker 1: totally listening to you.
Speaker 2: Look at okay, look at them My lake, My lake,
Speaker 2: Echo Park Lake. They have these these swan paddle boats
Speaker 2: and they put lights on them and they're all illuminated
Speaker 2: like they're having some sort of a late night boat park.
Speaker 1: So wait, are people in those or they just letting
Speaker 1: them float around? I could see they're sillow watch guys.
Speaker 1: This is the Turtle Lake that Chris talked about where
Speaker 1: the turtle's made on.
Speaker 3: I saw them today. I go they swim to me now?
Speaker 2: And all the heads come up at once like a
Speaker 2: choruscant line of eye contact.
Speaker 1: They can we see the fan art about us, because
Speaker 1: there's been lots.
Speaker 2: Oh, I throw stickers in there. People get mad because
Speaker 2: apparently they're made a plastic and the whole turm.
Speaker 1: Please don't throw s. Pause Pause Turtle Talk, and we
Speaker 1: will come back to Turtle Talk, of course, which is
Speaker 1: the new podcast. So sorry are you saying that? John
Speaker 1: love It talked about not listening to the podcast my podcast.
Speaker 3: Sorry, he said.
Speaker 2: His partner, and I didn't know in the moment if
Speaker 2: he met his partner with the yeah I got that
Speaker 2: part of America or his partner, but he said had
Speaker 2: never listened to Love It or Leave It, and he
Speaker 2: was actually mad about it his podcast. Okay, so he
Speaker 2: was mad about that. It's like they don't listen to
Speaker 2: the other podcasts. And then I was like, well, I
Speaker 2: kind don't bo listen to yours or anyone's or hours.
Speaker 1: Yees see, I don't. I sometimes I'll listen to ours
Speaker 1: when I'm bored and driving around because it really is
Speaker 1: like driving around with friends and it makes me laugh.
Speaker 3: And also because one of the friends is.
Speaker 1: You, right, which I have to say, I'm she really
Speaker 1: is one of my best friends. But and we're funny,
Speaker 1: and I never remember any of this ship we talk about. Clearly,
Speaker 1: we've made a serious point of that by telling the
Speaker 1: same story a bunch of times. But but we cover
Speaker 1: so many things in this podcast that it really is
Speaker 1: a little bit new. But I am try.
Speaker 3: So here's this weird. We're not covering anything new. I'm out,
Speaker 3: here's a lout of story.
Speaker 1: This is what I want now. I want John Lovett
Speaker 1: to listen to my podcast, my favorite murty. I know,
Speaker 1: I just get I wonder if he wonder if he
Speaker 1: does I'm totally joking.
Speaker 3: He was great.
Speaker 2: He uh well, he's funny and everything. But when he'd
Speaker 2: get mad and his just his rants, his rants are
Speaker 2: great and he knows his ship. Oh it was really impressive.
Speaker 1: You know. He was a speech writer for fucking Obama,
Speaker 1: the man who made the best speech.
Speaker 3: But we can all write jokes for a speech.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize he was just informationally writing a president's speeches.
Speaker 2: Like of course he's he knows the charts just riddled
Speaker 2: with brand information. Yeah, the best kind to have.
Speaker 1: It looks like we're going downtown, guys, so I hope
Speaker 1: everybody's prepared.
Speaker 2: I hope there's a series of one way roads. Yeah,
Speaker 2: lead you to another one that ends you up at
Speaker 2: what is skid row, which is on a map, ends
Speaker 2: you up at it, ends you up by it.
Speaker 1: I think, please keep your eye open for teens on
Speaker 1: free scooters that are probably drunk. That's the new If
Speaker 1: driving in Los Angeles isn't hard enough, the new thing
Speaker 1: now free scooters with teens on them who are on
Speaker 1: vacation and driving on the wrong.
Speaker 2: Side literally coming towards you. Yeah, on the wrong side
Speaker 2: road in a bike lane.
Speaker 1: There's no this. This is thoroughly covered this topic. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to do.
Speaker 2: I need to do like you and listener all the
Speaker 2: episodes because someone made a new do you need to
Speaker 2: write out of context thing where they're just putting our
Speaker 2: quotes and I'm like, that's a joke. If I listen
Speaker 2: to old episodes, there's probably jokes that I can use
Speaker 2: because it was me saying them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't use mine though, Hey, those are mine.
Speaker 2: You're the one that hasn't you haven't been hit in
Speaker 2: the stage, they're mine until you come back around.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's the perfect threat. To get to
Speaker 1: do stand up again. If you don't, I'll take your
Speaker 1: If you don't do it, I'm going to preemptively write
Speaker 1: your new material. I would appreciate it, would make doing
Speaker 1: it that much easier.
Speaker 3: I'll just hand it to you.
Speaker 1: I have to say this, they're rightful yours. Every once
Speaker 1: in a while I get I will get an invitation
Speaker 1: some lovely person that I'm friends with that'll be like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm doing a show at blah blah. Would you come
Speaker 1: and do it? And I'm always like, Eh, I can't
Speaker 1: because I haven't been doing set so I don't have material.
Speaker 3: But it's a normal fear to have.
Speaker 2: Have you watched The Comedians and Cars with Ednie Murphy
Speaker 2: who is scared? He's like, Oh, I don't have anything.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm so scared to do stand up again. It's
Speaker 2: been too long. No, I don't have material. A guy,
Speaker 2: I would think he'd be riddled with unshakable confidence and
Speaker 2: wouldn't I think I would think that he hasn't been
Speaker 2: doing stand up just out of not wanting to.
Speaker 3: But he says he's scared to.
Speaker 1: That's crazy. He's the best comedian of all I know.
Speaker 2: I need buddy, if you can't take twenty years off
Speaker 2: and then assume you could still do it.
Speaker 1: No, that's true, that is true. But if anybody could,
Speaker 1: God damn it. Eddie Murphy was is a natural. He's
Speaker 1: he's like, it's like Will Ferrell in that way where
Speaker 1: they have a funny accent, Like it's their style, their.
Speaker 7: Face, Yeah, their attitude, Yep, it all line up. He
Speaker 7: had it in sixth grade. Well guess what, Karen, So
Speaker 7: do you get a leather red suit? It's true and
Speaker 7: get on stage.
Speaker 1: You know, my friend, my friend Christine goodn't got us
Speaker 1: tickets to go see the Delirious Tour when we were juniors,
Speaker 1: either juniors or seniors in high school. And my dad
Speaker 1: wouldn't love he toured. Oh of course not. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not. You're not going to go into San Francisco
Speaker 1: to go to an Nie Murphy cold were you sixteen?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I almost agree with him there. Yeah, I mean some
Speaker 2: of that language.
Speaker 1: It was the dirtiest one delirious, No, it was raw.
Speaker 1: It was the that was the one where he did
Speaker 1: go a little. I bet you that's the reason he
Speaker 1: is worried about it because on raw he started doing
Speaker 1: that weird, like using an electric truth brushes of vibrators
Speaker 1: material where it's like, yeah, what is this? This isn't
Speaker 1: this is no longer the Eddie Murphy that's trying to
Speaker 1: make America laugh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he got a little dirty. I
Speaker 2: think he's scared to dirt. I bet that he's thinks.
Speaker 2: When I was good at this, I was able to
Speaker 2: go to a place that I can't now because I'm
Speaker 2: doing family friendly stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That his goal to be doing lonely movies that his
Speaker 2: kids could watch, or am I thinging up someone else?
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds familiar. I wouldn't put it past
Speaker 1: him because that kind of is all the movies.
Speaker 3: Although, hey they're a casual stormtrooper.
Speaker 1: Hey he's got front pouches. He's got some front pouches
Speaker 1: that seem unnecessary.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he had too many recipials.
Speaker 1: But then he also was carrying plastic bags, so they
Speaker 1: clearly weren't like it wasn't a fashion thing. It wasn't
Speaker 1: like what do you call those?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, accessory couches, Yes, couch couches.
Speaker 1: You need it. Here's some skin row, Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: the edge of it.
Speaker 2: The other day there was a perfect row of tents,
Speaker 2: each one spaced apart perfectly, and two different people were
Speaker 2: sweeping in front, fully taking pride.
Speaker 1: In their plot.
Speaker 2: And it's just one of those things where I glanced over,
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, cool, I guess I'm gonna cry right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like when someone has nothing and they're taking He
Speaker 2: was like sweeping and he picked up something, look at
Speaker 2: what it was, and threw it away and swept more. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And it was just it's horrifying part of a bridge
Speaker 2: under a bridge.
Speaker 1: Because somewhere along the line in the government, someone made
Speaker 1: this decision that we don't have to care about our
Speaker 1: fellow man. And everyone went, yeah, good, that'll save me
Speaker 1: thirty dollars on my taxes. You have a fucking asshole.
Speaker 3: I got mine, you don't get yours.
Speaker 1: Sweep the curve, sweep the curb, live in a tent
Speaker 1: on the sidewalk with no safety. It makes me sick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it really, sorry, sir.
Speaker 2: Oh and then and then I just exact guy is
Speaker 2: talking about on the other side of town. Well, I
Speaker 2: want you to I want you to do stand up again.
Speaker 2: Let's go back to that.
Speaker 1: Okay, I will do that. I promised to.
Speaker 3: You songs kick that musical head.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do music again. That
Speaker 1: was a very difficult thing to do. Now that I've
Speaker 1: finished doing it, going back to that would be extremely difficult.
Speaker 1: I feel like I barfed out the one thing I
Speaker 1: was going to do with that. I made that album.
Speaker 1: God Bless America the end. Yeah, the album. The album
Speaker 1: is America. By the way.
Speaker 3: It's called Live.
Speaker 1: At the Boot at the Moot Leg and you were there.
Speaker 2: It was there and it was fun. That's why I
Speaker 2: had that person bring you balloon. But it's so good
Speaker 2: and I bet you could keep doing it. It's just
Speaker 2: the same thing that Eddie Murphy is talking about. It's
Speaker 2: just when you take a break off, it seems like
Speaker 2: a thing that you can't do again.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I think when you begin to listen to
Speaker 1: people tell you what they think of what you do,
Speaker 1: then you can't not think of people when you go
Speaker 1: to do that thing again.
Speaker 3: Right, So for years you'll need you to repeat that.
Speaker 1: But yess, for years I toiled in obscurity and did
Speaker 1: great with it. I loved it. It was how I
Speaker 1: wanted to do it. I could say anything I wanted.
Speaker 1: No one gave us single ship.
Speaker 8: Of course, of course curse curse. It is a curse.
Speaker 8: It's a course, of course, a curse of curse. But
Speaker 8: that is a good point. Yeah, Now there's a subconsciousness
Speaker 8: just takes.
Speaker 1: Her a little higher because you are a known person. Well, also,
Speaker 1: I have the thing which I think you have in
Speaker 1: all of us at comics. You want to be good.
Speaker 1: You don't want to get up and suck, and you
Speaker 1: don't want to get up and the mediocre or even
Speaker 1: kind of good. You want to get up and be
Speaker 1: awesome from the get go. I'm sure that's Eddie murphy'steal.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, And I related to it, and that's why
Speaker 2: when I saw it, I'm like, it made me like
Speaker 2: him so much because he's just a person with the
Speaker 2: same fears and a big fancy house.
Speaker 1: At least one.
Speaker 3: But you're right, I think about.
Speaker 2: MFM people come into my comedy shows that are do
Speaker 2: you need to ride people now?
Speaker 3: And I'm and then in the.
Speaker 2: Time that that was kind of happening, I recorded my
Speaker 2: special and now I'm editing it and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: why am.
Speaker 3: I doing it? But I have thirty Dick jokes.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm literally saying dick like actual Dick jokes about
Speaker 2: Dick's Yes, but they were funny. Yes, but that's not
Speaker 2: what I want to be serving the people that like me.
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, ladies, you're ready for some big humor.
Speaker 1: They are. They've been listening to it their whole lives.
Speaker 1: Any woman that's followed comedy is totally used to it.
Speaker 1: And also, you do it in a different way. You're
Speaker 1: not agro and weird, and you don't make people feel
Speaker 1: like they're being threatened with the Dick jokes.
Speaker 9: Soft lightly tossed, soft toss with the very lady gorgeous,
Speaker 9: a light balsamic.
Speaker 2: Vinaigrette, thin glaze, and what we do at the end
Speaker 2: is we sprinkle a mixture of Oh, I need to
Speaker 2: start cooking.
Speaker 3: Just if I could finish this.
Speaker 1: Joke, you should start doing cooking, homtes.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. I need to turn over a
Speaker 3: new leaf. Bay Leave.
Speaker 1: You know you're gonna say that. I know. Wait, I
Speaker 1: need to change the topic again. Of course, did you
Speaker 1: see I believe it was Tucson, Arizona, but I could
Speaker 1: be wrong. There was there was a city hall meeting
Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, a meeting that was on TV.
Speaker 1: But it was like a boring civil meeting and these people, yeah,
Speaker 1: and did you see the people stood up because they
Speaker 1: were protesters, and they were like this weird looking woman
Speaker 1: who had a Trump hat on, and they were like,
Speaker 1: if you break our laws, we will deport you, is
Speaker 1: what her sign says.
Speaker 2: And I believe seemingly next to them was me sitting
Speaker 2: in the green.
Speaker 1: Shirt, yes, green shirt guy, who just started fucking laughing
Speaker 1: at her.
Speaker 2: I have gotten how many memes have I gotten? A
Speaker 2: green green shirt guy or me next to green shirt.
Speaker 1: Guy, or you are green shirt it's the great.
Speaker 2: First, I'm like, yeah, but he's so much taller. Yes
Speaker 2: he is, like no, it's it's I see it, and
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 1: But it just looks like your whole how you would deal?
Speaker 2: I would nervously laugh too, But also he was laughing,
Speaker 2: so they would see that he was. That is the
Speaker 2: best thing that guy could have done. Yes, for sure,
Speaker 2: it's for her to glance over and be like, this
Speaker 2: guy's actually laughing at me.
Speaker 3: And it's not in a mocking way. You can't help it.
Speaker 1: He's genuinely laughing. And I'm not scary or powerful, I'm
Speaker 1: a lunatic, like she couldn't even wait to speak, because
Speaker 1: there's an allotted times she could have said whatever she
Speaker 1: wanted to say, but she made it like it was
Speaker 1: a protest at a place where she was going to
Speaker 1: get airtime anyway, right, But she tried to disturb what
Speaker 1: she would have been allotted time to say.
Speaker 3: And then she said, so the guy's laughing at her.
Speaker 2: And then she said, you're in violation of this or
Speaker 2: and someone said you're in violation of being a.
Speaker 3: Jackass, which is like, was your flaghert either?
Speaker 1: For real? I just died. It was pretty fun. You're
Speaker 1: in violation of being a jackass.
Speaker 2: And her boyfriend looked over like that, well, I guess
Speaker 2: I can't do anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, look like idiots, let's get out here.
Speaker 3: It's pretty fun.
Speaker 1: They did. They stormed out and apparently be part of it.
Speaker 1: There was I was proud of you for being there
Speaker 1: and handling your shit in a way that made America
Speaker 1: feel a little bit better.
Speaker 2: I've been I've been sitting on that that Kelly Green
Speaker 2: polo of mine, waiting for the right place to wear it.
Speaker 1: Waiting for the right dipshits to mock it. Was a Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a beautiful moment. And it really made me
Speaker 1: laugh because it did look it looked like a house
Speaker 1: of mirrors stretched out version of you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to tell drug stories, but
Speaker 2: I was on asset at my old roommate's birthday and
Speaker 2: we were in the Hotel Irwin downtown and it was
Speaker 2: when I discovered I really like, I was just riffing
Speaker 2: and having fun and couldn't have been happier.
Speaker 1: You know, it was a drug.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But they had these wacky funhouse mirrors, just wavy
Speaker 2: mirrors that were in the corner. And I called the
Speaker 2: front desk and I'm like, yeah, we're going to need
Speaker 2: a new mirror brought up to the room.
Speaker 3: This one.
Speaker 2: When I'm crouched down a little bit, I have a
Speaker 2: big forehead and then when I look.
Speaker 3: Up to address it, suddenly I have a long chin.
Speaker 2: And so if we could just get a mirror, this
Speaker 2: one is clearly on the fritz. And the front lady
Speaker 2: was trying to explain, but she didn't. She didn't think
Speaker 2: I was kidding at all, and she didn't want to
Speaker 2: make me feel dumb.
Speaker 1: Oh, And then I felt bad.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, this person's actually trying to explain that
Speaker 2: the mirror isn't broken, it's just a wavy style of.
Speaker 1: Glass, but describing what it looks like.
Speaker 2: I walked her through it for a while. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: and add this to the list of complaints. Now my
Speaker 2: legs are long.
Speaker 1: Wait have you done this on stage? No? Write it down,
Speaker 1: write it down. I don't forget.
Speaker 2: Mirror with funhouse mirror, say long legs, big chin, one forehead.
Speaker 2: That's the kind of thing I wake up the middle
Speaker 2: of the night, and then I look at this piece
Speaker 2: of paper and says, funhouse mirror, long legs.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what the hell does that even mean?
Speaker 1: Yes, I know it's what bothers me is I keep
Speaker 1: forgetting anything I try to remember. I forget because I'm
Speaker 1: looking at my phone, the most distracting machine there has
Speaker 1: ever been. Sir, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: Oh now he's got zip in front of you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course not fast though, Yeah, I gotta take
Speaker 2: your time doing it. That guy what's the worst, and
Speaker 2: had dents on his car exactly about to hit us. Yes,
Speaker 2: I've been practicing these shitty moves all week.
Speaker 1: I've been merging into other cars.
Speaker 3: But now it showtime.
Speaker 1: Let's make the dense mass see, that's the thing about
Speaker 1: driving downtown. I think a lot of people don't understand
Speaker 1: this if you don't live in Los Angeles, and my
Speaker 1: apologies to you if you know, for how boring Kansas
Speaker 1: No that the it's such a hectic, bizarre place to
Speaker 1: drive because if you're not especially like downtown, all of
Speaker 1: a sudden it's a one way street. Or I feel
Speaker 1: like we're about to go to my neighborhood. Do you
Speaker 1: want to name? We could? I mean, let's do.
Speaker 2: It, and then at the end I could show you
Speaker 2: guys my cool place. Okay, I think you'd really like
Speaker 2: it anyway. Sorry, I mean when you're downtown.
Speaker 3: I do know.
Speaker 1: A calm just washed over me because we left it though,
Speaker 1: yes for real, because it's the one way streets pop up,
Speaker 1: and the pedestrians everywhere, and the fucking bird scooters and
Speaker 1: all the shit it really is. And then people don't
Speaker 1: know where they're going, and they drive like this is
Speaker 1: their last chance to get out of hell, essentially.
Speaker 2: Just driving like they're finding a source of water because
Speaker 2: it's the end of days.
Speaker 1: Because it is truly the end of days.
Speaker 2: I went on a my sister came and stayed with me,
Speaker 2: and we drove up to Carmel, where I was born,
Speaker 2: because both of us have been sitting on our moms
Speaker 2: and ashes.
Speaker 3: I've had them for two years in a box. I
Speaker 3: have them in my room.
Speaker 1: She's seen me doing, you know, all kinds of all.
Speaker 2: Kinds of things on the foot of my bed, clip
Speaker 2: of my toenails is bad enough.
Speaker 3: And so we.
Speaker 2: Drove up there because I was born in It's beautiful, God,
Speaker 2: it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's so gorgeous, and we.
Speaker 3: Had so much fun.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're supposed to have that much fun
Speaker 2: doing what thing that's supposed to be sad, But I
Speaker 2: think that's why we're having fun.
Speaker 1: Plus we've had plenty of time too. Yes, it's been
Speaker 1: sad up until now.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be sad anymore.
Speaker 2: And there was a real feeling of like my mom,
Speaker 2: thinking everything would have been funny too. And we went
Speaker 2: to the last place we took a picture with her
Speaker 2: and flung him there and of course that there's now
Speaker 2: gravity does not affect human ashes, and it zipped once again,
Speaker 2: right in my sister's face. I did it again the
Speaker 2: last time we tried. I threw him almost in her mouth. Anyway,
Speaker 2: that happened a few times. But we went all these spots,
Speaker 2: put them in different places, and we laughed so much.
Speaker 2: And my sister kept saying, write that down, that's a joke.
Speaker 2: That's also a joke. And so I had like a
Speaker 2: list of three things that like jokes Lisa wants me
Speaker 2: to do, and I, uh, that's so far. I just
Speaker 2: haven't been There's there's funny stuff that's conversational funny, and
Speaker 2: then you try and make it happen again. And I'm sorry, Lisa,
Speaker 2: have your listening. But the jokes you told me, I
Speaker 2: tell I've been eating.
Speaker 1: Shit and I thought you loved me. You know, maybe
Speaker 1: you need to bring just a small amount of ash
Speaker 1: of your mother's ashes on stage with you. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's what makes it really funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the just a position and then they're just blow
Speaker 2: an ashy kiss to the audience.
Speaker 1: Have you seen Chris's new act? It's kind of dark.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he has a lot of asses. Still, I
Speaker 2: really I love the Swan.
Speaker 1: The Swan's lit up with Christmas lights is probably one
Speaker 1: of the more beautiful things Los Angeles has to offer.
Speaker 2: I and today, you know, when I went to the
Speaker 2: Turtles and and everything.
Speaker 3: It's really this is my favorite part of it's any.
Speaker 2: I love that it's just blocks from where I hang
Speaker 2: my hat.
Speaker 1: As they say, it is so nice. I do wear hats.
Speaker 1: I am on over on this side of town all
Speaker 1: the time now because of needing to go to the
Speaker 1: office more and more.
Speaker 3: Well, you gotta come by. We'll eat at Ostrich Farm. Okay,
Speaker 3: it's delicious.
Speaker 1: Is Ostrich farm? Do you have to feed ostriches before
Speaker 1: you eat? The misleading name? Okay it is.
Speaker 3: There are no ostriches. There is no ostrich meat on
Speaker 3: the menu.
Speaker 1: Great.
Speaker 2: There is farm fresh products okay, and it's really good.
Speaker 2: And they do not ask me to talk about it.
Speaker 2: But the menus terrific.
Speaker 1: Are The omelets huge because they're made with ostrichen. The
Speaker 1: omelet's take up the whole table.
Speaker 2: The armlets they hide in the dirt like an ostrich
Speaker 2: takes a nap and you have to dig it up.
Speaker 1: You dig it up like a weird other kind of animal.
Speaker 2: And all the all the the waiters and natre d's
Speaker 2: or maters come around.
Speaker 3: They're all ostriches.
Speaker 2: They have giant tennis ball sized eyeballs and they look
Speaker 2: like sod puppets.
Speaker 1: And then when they ask you if you need anything else,
Speaker 1: they stick their face right into your face with their
Speaker 1: weird eyes. Do you needthing else?
Speaker 3: Tickle poke poke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the giant eyelashes, don't they you know what?
Speaker 1: I believe they do?
Speaker 3: Am I thinking about emails? When am I?
Speaker 5: Not?
Speaker 1: Same family? I think so fam? It's the same fam.
Speaker 3: I think so or genius or species?
Speaker 1: All right, that's a plan. Yes, doing stand up comedy again?
Speaker 3: Die plan. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Mull it over.
Speaker 3: We kinda going we gotta do. What are we going
Speaker 3: to do?
Speaker 4: You and I?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 3: What are we going to drive on stage and cardboard car?
Speaker 1: Ah?
Speaker 2: Yes, like you, we'll do a double decker thing. And
Speaker 2: I'm like thirty people at a time. It's not logistically,
Speaker 2: it's not alone break even.
Speaker 3: It doesn't make sense. Oh, a theater sized bus. It
Speaker 3: doesn't exist. Wow, theater.
Speaker 1: I'm complimenting us.
Speaker 2: But it would be fun if you know, I just
Speaker 2: if you started slinging out the jokes again.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're right now.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say it's like when we stumbled
Speaker 2: across that NASA location, but JP, yeah, you picked me
Speaker 2: up at El Madrigals and I had some drinks, but.
Speaker 1: I am I've had some. I had one drink tonight. Okay,
Speaker 1: so thank you for reporting.
Speaker 3: I'm just letting you know, since you're my sponsor, if.
Speaker 1: They want to start all over.
Speaker 2: I have a buzz right now, and it is of
Speaker 2: the kind of buzz where they say on signs, buzz
Speaker 2: driving is drunk driving. It is just a buzz. But
Speaker 2: I feel a little drunk. But maybe I'm just in
Speaker 2: a good mood.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're just having fun podcasting.
Speaker 3: Which just does Maybe I just enjoy it.
Speaker 1: And you know that in this style, in this type
Speaker 1: of episode, we don't have to compete with with guests. Ideas,
Speaker 1: we don't have to adhere to the guests me of
Speaker 1: a guest, needing to include them.
Speaker 2: Oftentimes but giving the priority.
Speaker 1: Even interrupting each other to get the guests.
Speaker 10: Answer, guest, this is so interesting, way better than Karen
Speaker 10: and I, who are professionals, would have said, oh you
Speaker 10: snoozefast continue guests again.
Speaker 1: If you've been a guest, thank you much. Yours was
Speaker 1: the best one.
Speaker 2: Starting's all the guests we've had, James Admia and Carmel.
Speaker 1: Pat Bishop Pat.
Speaker 3: He hasn't been but we've had its friend.
Speaker 1: Who else have weeter Keane? Is that I was trying
Speaker 1: to think a bunch of times.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, he always says really good stuff.
Speaker 1: We got to have him. He's very funny.
Speaker 2: I've got a whole we both got a whole list,
Speaker 2: whole bunch of list of great people coming up.
Speaker 1: Oh and we got an email from the great Jackie Caation.
Speaker 1: She wants to do it again, So we got to
Speaker 1: get her in the mix.
Speaker 2: I mean Wednesday, I think I'm still. She's not driving
Speaker 2: with Caitlin and I, but we're still. I'm about to
Speaker 2: do shows with her and I can't wait.
Speaker 1: Oh, tell her, tell her where you guys get back.
Speaker 1: I'm yawning in it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yes, it's did you know that yawning is good?
Speaker 2: It just means that you're needing oxygen?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and which is great news. I had like a
Speaker 1: personal trainer.
Speaker 2: I went to twenty for our fitness and they're like,
Speaker 2: we have a deal today and they signed me a trainer, and.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget. I went to her desk and she
Speaker 1: is eating a cartoonish meatball.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, you're gonna whip in the shape
Speaker 2: shiftfully r D and I but she I remember I
Speaker 2: was working out. I kept yawning and she's like, no,
Speaker 2: it's good.
Speaker 1: It's like that is a sign that you're getting a
Speaker 1: good workout.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you would think if you were yawning,
Speaker 2: that would mean you're not going all in you're tired,
Speaker 2: and probably not.
Speaker 1: But it's like your body taking big gulps of oxygen.
Speaker 2: Yes, I say, yeah, you know, here's a good trainer
Speaker 2: that eats meat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a good chance she was an imposter.
Speaker 2: She also was wearing denim one's piece and had leaves
Speaker 2: in her hair.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't that twenty four hour fitness. I was
Speaker 1: in the parking.
Speaker 2: Lot yet to pay for membership. But she met with
Speaker 2: me for three weeks and I got ripped.
Speaker 1: Down by the river.
Speaker 3: I got ripped just eating kans of tuna with her.
Speaker 1: It shows.
Speaker 2: It's just a show in Santa Barbara a couple days ago,
Speaker 2: and I stayed. I just assumed my friend would be home,
Speaker 2: but he was off building. He's a carpenter, he's building
Speaker 2: a house, and so I went. He gave me the
Speaker 2: code to his little apartment and I was so hungry
Speaker 2: after my show that I rummaged through his pantry and
Speaker 2: there was nothing there but sardines.
Speaker 3: No, that's time never, yes and forever.
Speaker 5: Maye never, forever always, and some save some for me
Speaker 5: because man, he had mustard, he had oil at him,
Speaker 5: and why it was I had like a sardine festival.
Speaker 3: No, I ate so many of them.
Speaker 2: Sorry, justin I ate all your sardines, buddy, No crackers.
Speaker 1: I hunched over his sink. No, yeah, you're like a
Speaker 1: little lost cat.
Speaker 3: I loved it. It was delicious protein.
Speaker 1: That is my nightmare. I did that.
Speaker 2: I put in him out and I slipped it off
Speaker 2: and there's a little skeleton.
Speaker 3: I did it all.
Speaker 1: And then you were wearing a vest, and then a
Speaker 1: cough came and a rest of you.
Speaker 2: And then I got in a fight and it was
Speaker 2: just a cloud with fists shooting up.
Speaker 1: Cliff see you are. I think that's part of my
Speaker 1: lifelong food issue, is that I'm so picky that I
Speaker 1: just want exactly what I like and want so like
Speaker 1: if I went through someone's pantry, I'd be like, all,
Speaker 1: this is going to taste like lightly like mold, right,
Speaker 1: I don't want to eat it. I want something good.
Speaker 3: Everything.
Speaker 2: There was no options, and I was not excited to
Speaker 2: eat these sardines, but I was starving, and he lives
Speaker 2: far from Santa Barbara and or far enough.
Speaker 1: To where I didn't want him. You're out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was late and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 2: just won't worry about eating, and then I and so
Speaker 2: was a last reetsor I was not at all craving sardines.
Speaker 3: I just was surprised.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, are you pregnant?
Speaker 3: I need something salty? What is kicking me the belly?
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I just was surprised that I liked them, because I'm
Speaker 2: like you, I'm like, that's just something my daddy or
Speaker 2: pickled Harrying. He's still those jars of pickled herring. And
Speaker 2: it's like sweet and salty. It's like a it's just
Speaker 2: not good food.
Speaker 1: But wait, so you're saying you loved these.
Speaker 2: Sorry, once it's in my mouth, I was like, yes,
Speaker 2: I get it, but it's gross. You're opening a can.
Speaker 2: They're slimy, they have eyes. Yeah, they still have fins,
Speaker 2: a dorsal and a the other one pectoral pectoral fins.
Speaker 2: They have huge packs and I was just eating them all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well that was a power thing. I think, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you were just showing them who is boss.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's nothing more power powerful than biting down on
Speaker 2: the spine of a young fish.
Speaker 1: But no, aren't they real salty and real fishy?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What is this? Oh? I really look like some skate
Speaker 1: You're right. I thought it was someone on a scooter
Speaker 1: wearing an octus.
Speaker 3: And it was just a guy with a weird pedal style.
Speaker 3: He's just really.
Speaker 1: Getting after it. It was like his the lights were
Speaker 1: on his pedals, but the petals were close together, so
Speaker 1: it looked like someone was floating near in the air
Speaker 1: and running clumsily at us at the same time.
Speaker 2: It was scary, and I thought it was actually going
Speaker 2: to end up on our hood.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's all everything's so threatening these days.
Speaker 2: I would hate to meet a NOTT to push for
Speaker 2: the first time in real life, out in the streets like.
Speaker 1: This on dry land. That's an emergency situation, if you
Speaker 1: if it was the end of the world.
Speaker 2: Sure, it is, okay, but I mean, like a more
Speaker 2: definitive theoretically, it's not ending.
Speaker 1: No, right, let's say we're going to pull out of
Speaker 1: this one. Yeah, and I think we will, I really do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we will. With the aocs of the world helping us
Speaker 1: and Elizabeth Warren, who will be pressing.
Speaker 3: Oh you think I think so, Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1: If her and Bernie do the smartest thing in the world,
Speaker 1: which is run together, it'll be over.
Speaker 3: But can they do that?
Speaker 1: Who knows?
Speaker 3: And the winner is these two?
Speaker 1: Well they're sitting on the other shoulders. Change it before
Speaker 1: before it gets to the end. But all that aside.
Speaker 1: Now we get to things are so great in the world,
Speaker 1: and all this time is past, and everybody gets to
Speaker 1: say where they are, and there's no longer a thing
Speaker 1: called calling human beings illegal, on and on, so that
Speaker 1: we're all calm and no one's being threatened. Now we
Speaker 1: get to play a fun game called the World is ending.
Speaker 1: Okay for another reason, for different just for ships and gigs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for fun and gale So.
Speaker 1: Italian version of okay, like earthquake or something. But it's
Speaker 1: end times. There's the grids down, there's no electricity. You
Speaker 1: have to go around Los Angeles and there's no people
Speaker 1: to keep you from doing this and collecting up all
Speaker 1: the food that you will eat. Gotch so it can't
Speaker 1: be refrigerated. I'm making this up as I go, right right,
Speaker 1: it can't be reerated. It has to be like sardines.
Speaker 3: I'm feverishly writing all down.
Speaker 1: It's no, no, no, those aren't allowed. Like changing the rules
Speaker 1: as you figure something out, so you can have fresh
Speaker 1: food and vegetables if they're left. If you if you
Speaker 1: come upon the stash, what are you going to collect
Speaker 1: up for yourself?
Speaker 2: I think if it's something where I need to, you know,
Speaker 2: assuming and I guess you're talking about zombies, we have to.
Speaker 2: I'm going to start eating healthy amight as well because
Speaker 2: of the zombies. I mean, I got it. It's it's
Speaker 2: just let's see how long I can last. The last
Speaker 2: thing I want is to get some you know, heart
Speaker 2: problem because I'm eating sardines in the end.
Speaker 1: Okay, and it would.
Speaker 2: Probably be pretty easy to acquire and get fruit, but
Speaker 2: it wouldn't last that long. I guess I don't know
Speaker 2: the answer. What frozen goods? I probably have a lot
Speaker 2: of cans, but those are heavy, big beans, baked beans.
Speaker 2: They're disgusting.
Speaker 1: What am I a cowboy from a sixties movies? Frozen goods?
Speaker 1: When I told you the grids down and there's no
Speaker 1: just be so you want melted good?
Speaker 3: How long ago did the grid go down.
Speaker 1: Oh are you saying you could have fixed it by
Speaker 1: now or somebody got it back up on his feet?
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 3: I bet how thought out are all the frozen goods?
Speaker 1: I how thought out as this game? Not at all?
Speaker 1: Did you?
Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, I'm gonna have to start hunting.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's again.
Speaker 2: So I just get some weapons like a spear, I guess.
Speaker 3: And I've never hunted.
Speaker 1: I've never killed a so, but you're gonna start now,
Speaker 1: You're gonna hunt and eat healthy.
Speaker 3: I'll eat a lot of fish. I'll tell you that
Speaker 3: I'm going to go back to the beach.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, It's more you're basically saying that if the
Speaker 1: ship goes down, you're going back to the west side.
Speaker 2: That's where the fish are. Okay, not a lot of
Speaker 2: hunting that goes on in my new neighborhood. I mean,
Speaker 2: I guess that wasn't what the game was.
Speaker 3: Where is the game?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 3: You're my dream diet?
Speaker 1: I was? It was like if you had to collect
Speaker 1: up ship that was in all these weird little convenience
Speaker 1: stores around right, what would you cobble together?
Speaker 2: I guess at first I'd be depressed and it'd be
Speaker 2: a lot of bags of white cheddar smart food.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you need to be comforted, yes, so of
Speaker 2: course you're going to have some comfort type food.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But then after that, when the ship gets heavy,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do some urban hunting. Okay, okay, no,
Speaker 1: I think that's good. Then you'll love kind. You'll be
Speaker 1: task oring to kill cats. I will kill packs of
Speaker 1: coyotes all with a spear.
Speaker 2: I know it sounds like I'm bragging, but when the
Speaker 2: shit hits a fan, when the dog gets rough, I'm
Speaker 2: going to be just putting raw animals in my mouth. Okay,
Speaker 2: but for now, I can't eat them because of Instagram accounts.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you'll get ruined on social media if you
Speaker 1: start hunting. Oh. I never on the east side. It's
Speaker 1: just me.
Speaker 2: I'm talking right now. But I came home the other
Speaker 2: night and there was like a pack of coyotes and
Speaker 2: they were huge, full sized dogs. There were six of them.
Speaker 2: They were not scared of me, no, no, and I
Speaker 2: thought they were coming towards me and I had to
Speaker 2: like yell and wave my arms and then they're finally.
Speaker 1: Like, okay, this guy's crazy, man.
Speaker 3: But you know, maybe I'll eat some coyotes. True, men
Speaker 3: don't kill the coyotes.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think it's good good juju as they
Speaker 1: say to kill a cody mojo. Yeah, either way, it's
Speaker 1: bad juju, but it gives you pretty good mode. So
Speaker 1: that's the.
Speaker 3: Reputation is shot man.
Speaker 1: But oh my god, Jim Morrison will respect you.
Speaker 3: You're in the new lizarding Man.
Speaker 1: Oh fun, I think I would. Here's how here's the
Speaker 1: answer I was looking for. Okay, because this is my
Speaker 1: answer to this question that I made up as I
Speaker 1: went along. Right, I would go around to all the
Speaker 1: movie theaters and take those big bags of popcorn because
Speaker 1: that'shit last weight ever answer, what's popcorn? Yours? Was you
Speaker 1: said smart food?
Speaker 10: Oh white, I picked the wrongcorn' I'm movie theater okay,
Speaker 10: And in the big bag where it's like a clear
Speaker 10: plastic garbage.
Speaker 2: Bag of popcorn, you're gonna be one of the first
Speaker 2: to run out. And that's too much salt.
Speaker 1: But popcorn is a super food. Did you know that? No? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really good for you. So they say not not
Speaker 1: movie theater stone.
Speaker 3: It's pretty salty.
Speaker 1: I think that negates the super foods. But we'll be
Speaker 1: sweating so much from the fact that it's the apocalypse
Speaker 1: that I think I might need that that salt in
Speaker 1: my system.
Speaker 2: I mean, if you're sweating a lot and you're only
Speaker 2: eating popcorn, I have two words for you. Kidney Stone, crystallization,
Speaker 2: your thrill, brot looggage and that ain't no movie.
Speaker 1: Have you seen blockage yet? Oh?
Speaker 3: God, it's so good.
Speaker 1: Miles Teller's in it so good?
Speaker 2: I what? And I, oh have you seen have you been?
Speaker 2: Speaking of music? Speaking of music? God one, I.
Speaker 1: Had one Moular sensation.
Speaker 3: Everybody's talking about.
Speaker 2: I watched that Midsummer Movies.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's pretty good, pretty wonderful.
Speaker 2: Right, it was just it was just interesting. I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's frustrating. It's like why I was yelling like, don't
Speaker 2: do that, And then in the end it made me.
Speaker 2: I've seen a lot of movies lately where I like
Speaker 2: get mad at the end of it and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't think that was good, And then two days
Speaker 2: later I'm still thinking about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And isn't that what art is? Yeah?
Speaker 3: It creates a conversation.
Speaker 2: Two days later you're like, I guess it was a
Speaker 2: good movie and know, I flipped off the screen and
Speaker 2: threw my popcorn into the neighbor's lab.
Speaker 1: I guess now.
Speaker 3: I liked the costuming.
Speaker 1: It's you know, I it's evocative. It gets you to
Speaker 1: feel something which you need to feel in the movie theater.
Speaker 1: And I find that that director. Do you remember that
Speaker 1: director's name?
Speaker 3: Oh? I don't, but he made Hereditary and other short film.
Speaker 1: He's so good. And I recently rewatched Herreditary. It's so good.
Speaker 1: And there were so many things I missed the first
Speaker 1: and this red with him.
Speaker 2: I realized after a few days later, there was a
Speaker 2: you know, everything that happened in the movie.
Speaker 3: They allude to it in the beginning.
Speaker 2: It was that thing that I missed, and so you
Speaker 2: watch it again the second time, it's like, oh cool,
Speaker 2: that's like some backwards you know, Memento Ship, Yes, out
Speaker 2: of order?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Easter egg style, Yeah, yeah, I had that egg.
Speaker 3: Who who are you.
Speaker 1: Had that egg? That egg?
Speaker 3: I'm the lizard.
Speaker 1: You sound like Josh Adam Myers. Yeah, hey, every brother
Speaker 1: from Karaokes. No offense, Adam Josh Madam Myers.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I've been I've been enjoying films. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: I just realized I am the one of the members
Speaker 2: of the AMC Real Club. Really, I forgot when I
Speaker 2: signed up for it. I've been paying them money. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 2: Tuesdays I could be seeing movies for five dollars. I
Speaker 2: need to start becoming one of these Cisco Land or Ebers.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a good idea, because you've got a lot
Speaker 1: of opinions. You often flip off movie screens. Oh, I
Speaker 1: get so mad, So let's find out why. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I like film. Did you like a spoiler alert?
Speaker 1: If you haven't seen Midsommar. Some people pronounce it that way,
Speaker 1: which is insane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's just midsommer.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, everyone from America pronounces it midsommer, but then
Speaker 1: cinephiles pronounce it midsomar because I guess that's the fucking
Speaker 1: Dutch version or when country Sweden, it's spilled s mm er.
Speaker 1: So it's hard not to say that ar, I mean
Speaker 1: when you're reading.
Speaker 3: It or ar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, otherwise it'd be mids more.
Speaker 1: That's that's the second installment, mid so More, Midsummer too
Speaker 1: so More.
Speaker 2: I went to Denver and uh, all my friends had
Speaker 2: tickets to see my Morning jacket which has Yeah, they
Speaker 2: have songs.
Speaker 1: That I love. I think they're great.
Speaker 3: They're amazing, but it can be kind of jam bandy.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Sure stuff isn't but tickets to the jobs are for
Speaker 2: I'm sure. I'll go ahead. Stick my finger in your bag,
Speaker 2: mystery powder. I'm ready to ride whatever magic carp And.
Speaker 1: I'm the lizard. Ky, you truly have become the lizard.
Speaker 1: The only prerequisite is just saying you're the lizard. Came
Speaker 1: over and over that I do not know what that means.
Speaker 1: You just got to claim it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Hey, King of all lizards, Hey, and I.
Speaker 1: Uh, lizard king here answered? Then you hope please? King
Speaker 1: of all lived you need a lizard.
Speaker 2: You came to a one stop shop and this it's
Speaker 2: a place jack, Can you hold please?
Speaker 1: I'm a lizard king. You know we actually don't sell lizards. Ok.
Speaker 2: Sorry, shelves are empty. I'm crazy because I'm slashing prices nothing.
Speaker 2: Tickets had gone up to four hundred dollars last minute.
Speaker 2: I didn't my friends had had tickets for months and months.
Speaker 1: I wasn't sure if I want to go anyway.
Speaker 2: I found some on Craigslist for the guy want one
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty bucks and I'm like, well, it's kind
Speaker 2: of the most I've ever paid for a concert, but
Speaker 2: it'll be fun.
Speaker 1: It's in red rocks.
Speaker 3: Oh shit, it's a beautiful experience.
Speaker 2: He wanted me to pay him using Apple Pay, which
Speaker 2: I never used, but I'm like, sure if it worked
Speaker 2: for you. There was a moment where it's like, but
Speaker 2: these our texts are coming in green. Why would you
Speaker 2: need an Apple bait? You don't even have an iPhone.
Speaker 2: That was the first thing I should have known. Oh no,
Speaker 2: And so sent him the money and they said, great,
Speaker 2: what's your email address. I'll send over these tickets using
Speaker 2: this app. And I downloaded the app. It all seem legit.
Speaker 2: This went on for hours. He's like, yeah, your email
Speaker 2: isn't working. The guy went through so much effort just
Speaker 2: to steal. It ended up being two hundred dollars that
Speaker 2: I paid, but he just kept playing dumb and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I just got ripped off. Oh no, it's okay. So
Speaker 2: instead I went to see Mid Summer, which is kind
Speaker 2: of like seeing a jam band.
Speaker 1: Their dress like polyphonic spree. That's true, and uh and
Speaker 1: there's drugs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it honestly was the best second thing I could
Speaker 2: have done, and I got my mind off of being
Speaker 2: I'm dumb. I should not have tried to buy something
Speaker 2: on Craig's list. I never Yeah, it just.
Speaker 1: But the guy seemed legit.
Speaker 3: I mean, he was saying the right things. It's did
Speaker 3: you just rip me off?
Speaker 1: I said?
Speaker 2: And he's like, nah, it said nahak, I'm okay. The
Speaker 2: best best part nah my god.
Speaker 3: It never is and them and yeah, more than right now,
Speaker 3: that is.
Speaker 1: The fucking funniest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nah nah.
Speaker 1: It'd be crazy. Why would that happen? No? I love you?
Speaker 1: Why would I ever rip you off? It was back
Speaker 1: and forth for hours.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, you've already put more labor into the
Speaker 2: earning of two hundred dollars than this it's been worth
Speaker 2: because I was and how far to how weird do
Speaker 2: I want to get and keep bothering Two of his
Speaker 2: phone numbers, one from the iPhone he needed for the
Speaker 2: transfer of these tickets and one from the initial two phones.
Speaker 2: That's the other indicator that I'm getting ripped off.
Speaker 1: It's just like, well, also, did you delete any of
Speaker 1: those things? Like make sure he doesn't have some kind
Speaker 1: of connection to you now Yeah, yeah, okay, it was
Speaker 1: a one time. It was a one time rip off. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I really don't think this will become our relationship.
Speaker 1: Nah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's this guy that continually rips me off every Wednesday.
Speaker 1: I thought it would end with the first one. There's
Speaker 1: a really amazing story that's on the podcast Criminal about
Speaker 1: a guy who does get ripped off like that. There's
Speaker 1: a guy who gets him out of a jam in
Speaker 1: a bad neighborhood, and then the guy continues to builk
Speaker 1: money from him by humiliating him into saying, you weren't
Speaker 1: man enough to get yourself out of that situation, so
Speaker 1: you have to give me money. And the guy did
Speaker 1: it for years.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you have to.
Speaker 1: It's an episode of It's an episode of the podcast
Speaker 1: Criminal called I'm going to help you or something like
Speaker 1: I'm going to help you or I'm going to get
Speaker 1: you out of here.
Speaker 3: Do you remember what the guy possibly had on him
Speaker 3: that he kept.
Speaker 1: It was like it was the guy turned into a
Speaker 1: really bad part of town and then something there was
Speaker 1: some kind of I don't think it happened in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: but say if it were Los Angeles, it was then
Speaker 1: the nineteen ninety four riots started, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So then the guy got this guy out of the
Speaker 1: bad part of town and without getting hurt or whatever.
Speaker 1: And so then the guy was like, now you owe me,
Speaker 1: you know, five hundred bucks for getting you out of town.
Speaker 1: The guy's like, shirt up problem. And then the guy
Speaker 1: contacts him again and is like, I think you need
Speaker 1: to give me a little more money because you weren't
Speaker 1: man enough to get yourself out.
Speaker 2: And then this guy when he rapped me off, sorry
Speaker 2: to interrap n he I said, so you're ripping me off,
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I made a mistake.
Speaker 3: Can you send fifty more dollars?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: For more?
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh does this work?
Speaker 2: It's this like you're testing the waters to see if
Speaker 2: I'm a fool me twice guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay. Well. And also because that's I think that
Speaker 1: is a con move where when somebody expresses doubt they
Speaker 1: it almost confirms, like you're like, if they were ripping
Speaker 1: me off, there's no way they'd ask for more money, right,
Speaker 1: So that move in there almost confirms to a normal
Speaker 1: person and like, oh, there's no way they could be this.
Speaker 1: It could be this in your face. Yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 1: it is God.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I I of course won't say his name. But there's
Speaker 1: a person I know that.
Speaker 2: Was doing an online like a video sex thing, like oh,
Speaker 2: you're getting naked here, I'm naked, and then he was
Speaker 2: doing something well naked. And then she said, Okay, now
Speaker 2: I have this footage you. I'm going to show it
Speaker 2: to everyone if you don't start giving me money. And
Speaker 2: he's like, I don't have money, go ahead and show everyone,
Speaker 2: and so he preemptively said, you know, let his parents
Speaker 2: and friends, Hey, you might get this video of me masturbating.
Speaker 2: I don't have money to He just kind of got
Speaker 2: ahead of it, and I think that diffused, like well, yeah,
Speaker 2: the woman was like, well, I guess I don't have him.
Speaker 1: Then she sure doesn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think that that's the the only thing
Speaker 2: you could do is be like, oh, you're gonna screw me.
Speaker 3: No one's ever fucked up my life better than I can.
Speaker 1: They'll be used to it. If I tell them, they're
Speaker 1: gonna beat.
Speaker 3: Me to the punch I'm sending it now.
Speaker 1: That's so horrible too, because it's that naivete that everybody
Speaker 1: approaches like the Internet and like kind of modern life
Speaker 1: with where it's just like, yeah, I met this person
Speaker 1: online and we've both agreed to privately on camera do
Speaker 1: weird shit with each other, Like you don't know that person.
Speaker 1: It reminds me of do you remember when chat Roulette started?
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I did a weird show at where things
Speaker 2: would pop up and you're supposed to have a quick
Speaker 2: conversation and then there to see you're on stage and
Speaker 2: so it's like, oh haha, you're in a comedy show.
Speaker 2: But it ended up every other one with some guy masturbation.
Speaker 2: Yes that's all.
Speaker 1: They are humble, and it's like.
Speaker 3: This is backfiring big time. Good Lord, Duke boys, where
Speaker 3: we chasing boss Hog?
Speaker 1: This is this is just the last part. It's like
Speaker 1: a little roller coaster at the end. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: loved Chatroulette. We used to sit around me and my
Speaker 1: front Bradford and whoever else was around. We would sit
Speaker 1: around his computer super stoned and then just do it
Speaker 1: and it would be like every fourth one was a
Speaker 1: weird dick. But then there would just be like four
Speaker 1: other people staring at their computer just like we were
Speaker 1: just looking for dick.
Speaker 2: Yes, and you're guys looking for weird dick. Yeah, they've
Speaker 2: all been pretty straight and normal.
Speaker 1: And I we're scared a weird dick, so we're looking
Speaker 1: for four people that look like us.
Speaker 3: So you do end up meeting good people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we met some amazing people on Chatroulette.
Speaker 3: We did it.
Speaker 1: I met my husband on chat relytt.
Speaker 2: I feel like chat Relette became something that we all
Speaker 2: use every single day now, wasn't it the first attempt?
Speaker 3: Was it skyper something?
Speaker 2: I feel like it was the napster of of what
Speaker 2: we know now to be something Twitter.
Speaker 1: Maybe. Yeah, It's like, I don't know, I wanted to
Speaker 1: come back. I want to. I want to.
Speaker 2: I forgot that it went away. I forgot about that
Speaker 2: night of chat reltte we were.
Speaker 1: There were some there were some chot Roulette moments that
Speaker 1: were very beautiful and touching, like everyone just waving at
Speaker 1: each other, and then the little map would come up
Speaker 1: and you'd be like, those fucking people are in Russia
Speaker 1: or wherever they.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, all that's sweet. It's weird, and it's just
Speaker 2: depending on the mood. It could have just been all
Speaker 2: those people in Russia masturbating at you.
Speaker 1: Yep, it's just it was their choice. Yeah, you either
Speaker 1: wave or you wave you're junk, whatever it takes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is sweet. A bunch of people wave hi.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It is always my favorite thing when you're when you're
Speaker 2: on passing a group of.
Speaker 1: People, you're in a.
Speaker 2: Like going under a bridge and there's people on it
Speaker 2: and you're people on a boat that everyone will wave
Speaker 2: hello fellow humans, unless you're saying goodbye to them because
Speaker 2: you'll never really meet them.
Speaker 1: No, that's right, this is our one moment, this is
Speaker 1: our chance. Yeah, and then what does Dave Matthews do
Speaker 1: dumps eight hundred pounds of human feces on those people? Wait?
Speaker 1: What remember that story somebody just read Somebody just treated
Speaker 1: this and said, it's the eighth anniversary of the time
Speaker 1: that Dave Matthews tour bus went over the bridge on
Speaker 1: Michigan Avenue in Chicago, right over the Chicago River and
Speaker 1: dumped their toilet system into the Chicago River onto a
Speaker 1: tour boat.
Speaker 3: Oh no, yes, not paying attention.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: Also, fuck them for just putting it in the river.
Speaker 1: Right, all of it was not cool. It'd be funny.
Speaker 3: Well that was happening that song.
Speaker 10: Too, Sorry, sounded like it.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm thinking of no wellesay mouth dude. I don't
Speaker 2: know anyway, what a weirdo. You would think he'd be
Speaker 2: uh woke enough not to I.
Speaker 1: Don't think he did it. I don't think he had
Speaker 1: the hand of the lever, right.
Speaker 2: It's the truck driver, some disgruntled bus driver. That's like,
Speaker 2: I'm so tired of these guys. I'm so weed smoke
Speaker 2: in my face. Yeah, he was anti pot.
Speaker 3: Look we're done, you're quick. It's fun. Oh man, it
Speaker 3: was great to do.
Speaker 2: The irishora was funny.
Speaker 1: You need to start doing more character work on stage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone loves a good voice.
Speaker 1: It's funny. It is fun Well, I was. I was
Speaker 1: just gonna say, it's good to just podcast with you.
Speaker 1: I know, same that. This is how we get our
Speaker 1: go up to the dumpsters usual here you can get
Speaker 1: right into that dumpster, Matthews into that. Did we have
Speaker 1: any Thanks everybody for your beautiful responses to Oh, I
Speaker 1: have to say the quickest fan art and most beautiful
Speaker 1: was the person who drew you know, the new person's
Speaker 1: name that drew Mount my version of Mount Rushmore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's I cried.
Speaker 2: It was the best thing of all to Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was really It's been one of my.
Speaker 1: I sent it to all the I sent it to
Speaker 1: the main person I went to trivia with, and I
Speaker 1: was like, look, I told her trivia story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's EMR. His name is Mark, but it's
Speaker 2: m R. K Am I right, Mark Markasto? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's great. And did you see the other one where
Speaker 2: the bathtub is behind Mount Rushmore?
Speaker 1: No, I didn't hear.
Speaker 3: He added to it ship.
Speaker 1: So that's that's the back because tafts in the bath Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's so good between.
Speaker 2: Each Roosevelt Roosevelt again, that mountain with all the president's
Speaker 2: fucking faces.
Speaker 1: This must be a different podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's wow.
Speaker 1: Mark Glass. Can I look at a picture? Is that him?
Speaker 1: He looks like a little model. Look at him.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he's a handsome growing man.
Speaker 1: Wait do you know him in person? Oh? I thought
Speaker 1: you were. He's from another land, New York. Oh really,
Speaker 1: I think so.
Speaker 3: Oh I assumed he's from Glasgow.
Speaker 1: You know me, just the meme.
Speaker 3: Time for me to go back up to Alaska because
Speaker 3: my name is Fairbank.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 1: He is a designer and an illustrator. That's very cool.
Speaker 1: He's very good.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get back in the swing of it too.
Speaker 3: I like drawing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, you should, We all should. Thank you Mark
Speaker 1: Glasgow for your beautiful art. Thank you everybody for listening,
Speaker 1: continuing to listen to our dumb bullshit and.
Speaker 2: Go to the exact, exactly right website and get some merged.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, we got to sell some share Yeah,
Speaker 2: get some get yourself. Do you need a ride shirt
Speaker 2: and prove it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Prove it? And yeah I am nothing to prove or
Speaker 1: nothing to plug me either. Yeah. Oh. We're starting new
Speaker 1: episodes of my favorite murder tomorrow, so that's more people
Speaker 1: care about that. I mean, we're recording it tomorrow. It
Speaker 1: goes up Thursday. But you know, we're back from vacation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and this was like my get do a podcast and
Speaker 1: practice being back from vacation.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and uh and we did great. It's like
Speaker 2: we're just back in the saddle again.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is what we do. Yeah, you just
Speaker 1: we've always done it. You fall off, that's horse, you
Speaker 1: get back on, you get back into it, you get
Speaker 1: into Alex, back into the high life again again.
Speaker 11: Thank you.
Speaker 2: And I write while you're listening to this, I'll be
Speaker 2: in San Francisco.
Speaker 3: How about you. You're back on the twit.
Speaker 1: I'm back on the twitch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you were gone for a while.
Speaker 1: I was gone for a while. Right when I came back,
Speaker 1: my stuff was fresh and new and working. Now I'm
Speaker 1: in that phase where every time I tweet, I either
Speaker 1: think I've tweeted this before or I'm ripping this off
Speaker 1: from somebody. So that's a bad place to be. I
Speaker 1: need to get back into the fresh into the fresh maker. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to sneak into some concerts and freshen it
Speaker 1: up a little bit.
Speaker 3: Are you talking about a really specific mento?
Speaker 1: Yeah. I need to start lifting up cars with some
Speaker 1: of my weightlifter buddies. Yeah. I need to take a
Speaker 1: businessman's tie off, tie it around my head and sneak
Speaker 1: into the backstage area of a concert.
Speaker 2: I need to for no reason, open up a car,
Speaker 2: get in the back, sit, wave to the driver, keep
Speaker 2: on walking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we always do that one.
Speaker 1: Nope, that's the best one.
Speaker 2: Now, how many Mentos commercials do you remember?
Speaker 1: I need to get a bunch of tattoos, look in
Speaker 1: the mirror every morning, freak out, slowly, remind myself what happened.
Speaker 1: That's a Mementos.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how there's no podcast out there?
Speaker 1: That mentions that movie twice no episode no, and doesn't
Speaker 1: remember both times. Just like the movie, All of our
Speaker 1: brains are shrinking. You've been listening. Do you need a ride?
Speaker 1: I think? Are are you leaving? I you wanna way
Speaker 1: back home?
Speaker 4: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 4: much baggage you claim and give us time and they
Speaker 4: turn and on and gage.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off instil.
Speaker 4: We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 1: Mel porn? Do you mean to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: To ride?
Speaker 6: Do you need.
Speaker 11: With Karen and Chris, The Fall Line, an investigative podcast
Speaker 11: focusing on unsolved cases in the Southeast, is back this
Speaker 11: August with season five. This series covers the nineteen ninety
Speaker 11: eight disappearance of Shaikemia Pate, an eight year old from Unadella, Georgia.
Speaker 12: As a little girl, I can remember that Shaw was
Speaker 12: very energetic and barboy. Seldom did you see her without
Speaker 12: a smash, beautiful smile. She she was just a real
Speaker 12: doubly smart, smart little.
Speaker 11: Girl, Shaikemiya was excited to spend that Labor Day weekend
Speaker 11: with her family, starting with attendance of the first high
Speaker 11: school football game of the season and their tiny town
Speaker 11: of Unadella, Georgia, that was a big event. That Friday afternoon,
Speaker 11: shai kemi I stepped off her front porch and onto
Speaker 11: the sidewalks of the street she'd lived.
Speaker 1: On her whole life.
Speaker 11: She planned to wait outside for a ride from her
Speaker 11: older sister. She was seen by neighbors, friends, family. Everyone
Speaker 11: thought she'd made it to see the Dooley County Bobcats play,
Speaker 11: but she never made it there, and.
Speaker 6: So I thought one had took it to the Gameto
Speaker 6: twelve thirty that night, when Veronica called me and told
Speaker 6: me she told me. She asked me what shat with me?
Speaker 6: And I said no, And I say, you mean you
Speaker 6: don't know what shay at.
Speaker 1: I caught the police wait nobody, he didn't come, and
Speaker 1: then when.
Speaker 6: He did come, he said she had been missing twenty
Speaker 6: four while before they'll go looking for.
Speaker 11: Shah Kemia Pate vanished right off her own street. Though
Speaker 11: her disappearance is as mysterious and as arresting is that
Speaker 11: of Madeline McCann. She has received very little attention, despite
Speaker 11: a twenty thousand dollars reward and exhaustive work by Shakemya's family.
Speaker 11: Veronica Pate, her mother, has been left waiting for twenty
Speaker 11: one years.
Speaker 13: She made an effort to be optimistic that shah would
Speaker 13: be back. She kept trying to prove that it's gonna
Speaker 13: be all right, leaving the door unlocked, leaving a light
Speaker 13: on because Shasha coming home.
Speaker 11: Each hour in the missing person's case matters. So what
Speaker 11: about a cold case unsolved for decades.
Speaker 14: Some of the things that we run into work in
Speaker 14: cold cases is that these cases, I mean, they're old,
Speaker 14: and people's memory is not what they used to be.
Speaker 14: Memories fade, people die.
Speaker 11: A few outside of rural Middle Georgia have ever heard
Speaker 11: of Shai Keimia Pate. But maybe with your help that
Speaker 11: can change. This season on the fall line from exactly Right,
Speaker 11: we work with Shaikemia's family, the local sheriff, and the
Speaker 11: Georgia Bureau of Investigations to produce a detailed coverage of
Speaker 11: her case and generate new leads. Twenty nineteen has seen
Speaker 11: decades old cold cases come to a close, and so
Speaker 11: it's time to give Shakemia's open case and her mother's
Speaker 11: open door the attention they needed deserved years ago.
Speaker 1: This is the fall Line. We hope you'll.
Speaker 11: Join us on August seventh for episode one. September fourth,
Speaker 11: nineteen ninety eight