WEBVTT - Staying Faithful After Losing Home to A Tornado 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:13.280 Hey, welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for being here. 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:16.079 I'd love this as an honor. It has been for 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:18.840 so long to do these episodes and to walk through 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:22.560 these questions and to handle life and to deal with 0:00:22.640 --> 0:00:26.439 life alongside you, the listener, So thank you. I'd love 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:29.280 hearing feedback, especially when I meet you out on the 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:33.120 road somewhere, or at an event that I'm speaking at, 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:36.000 or even someplace I just see you in public. I 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:37.760 love people coming up and saying, hey, I listen to 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:41.760 your podcast. It's interesting to me because most of my 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:45.159 life people have said, hey, I'm a fan of your music. 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:49.760 I know you from your music, And now the last 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:52.960 five years or so, I hear more and more people 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.480 say I know you from your podcast, or I'm a 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:57.360 fan of your podcast. 0:00:57.440 --> 0:00:59.080 I'll see people on the airport and. 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:01.080 They say, hey, I'm a fan of and I'm thinking 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:02.880 music and they say, your podcast. 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:06.000 That's so cool. It's so cool to me. 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:08.360 Not that it's not cool to hear the music thing, 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:13.640 but it's different, you know, and this podcast is meaningful 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:13.880 to me. 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:15.200 It matters to me. 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:18.160 So it's interesting to think that there are people out 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:20.160 there that don't even know that I had a music 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:20.800 career at all. 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:22.640 They just know me from the podcast. 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:25.400 That's really cool. You guys have been through so much 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:30.040 life with me and we've all evolved together. I should say, 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:33.240 as we walk through these questions with the biblical worldview, 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.200 the email so that we could walk through these questions 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:39.880 if you want to email me email podcast at grangersmith 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:42.560 dot com and we'll walk through that like we're sitting 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:44.679 in a truck, like we're driving in a cab of 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:46.360 a truck. And you say, hey, grangereg I got a 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:48.800 question for you. Could we walk through this together? And 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:52.400 I say yes, as if we're just old friends and 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:55.920 the question could be about anything. Once again, podcast at 0:01:56.120 --> 0:02:00.280 grangersmith dot com. Something interesting happened last week. I had 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.600 my pastor Marshall with me. If Marshall has been a 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.640 guest on here many times, but we were dealing with 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:09.960 a topic I believe the topic was last week it 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:14.400 was how to handle multiple services in a church or 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:17.680 how to think about multiple identical services in a church. 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:23.520 And I said in that video, hey, comment below if 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.480 you're watching on YouTube, or if you're listening on another platform, 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:29.680 like you may be doing right now at the end 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:31.560 of this video or at the end of this podcast, 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:35.920 go to YouTube and comment on the YouTube version of 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:40.360 this episode. If you want us to dig deeper on something, 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:45.440 if you have another question within the question, comment that 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:49.680 on the YouTube version, and that it's fascinating because there 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:51.440 were a lot of people that came in there and 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:55.840 had questions, and of all the episodes we've done, that's 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:57.280 the first time I've really thought of it in that 0:02:57.360 --> 0:03:00.800 way that we could go to YouTube and on some 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.600 of these videos we could dig deeper and come back. 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:05.720 And I texted Marshall and I said, hey, you might 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:07.280 have to come back and we might have to do this, 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:09.920 do more of that topic because there were a lot 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:13.200 of people that had more further questions of it. And 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:15.520 he was like, yeah, sounds good, let's do it. So 0:03:15.600 --> 0:03:18.399 I think we'll probably schedule Marshall to come back in 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:21.959 and I'll just sit here with that YouTube video and 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.720 go down the comments and see what you guys said. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.000 And a lot of times it's like, hey, I agree, 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:32.040 great podcasts, and sometimes it's like, hey, I wholeheartedly disagree completely. 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:34.600 I disagree with everything you said, and we could talk 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:38.280 about that. That's fair, you should have an opinion. And 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:41.120 then there are other people that said things like, I 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:44.520 agree to an extent, but here's a caveat in what 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:46.760 you're saying. It only goes so far, but you forgot 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.960 to say this stranger cool. So we could take that 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:51.800 and we could dive into that too. I think that's 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:54.800 I think that would be helpful, encouraging for all of us. 0:03:55.960 --> 0:03:58.520 And I say that in a way too to also say, 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:02.280 let's do that with this video as well. Those of 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:04.440 you that know me know that I'm I don't typically 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:06.760 prepare for these. I sit down with your questions as 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:09.800 you email them, and if there's anything I say that 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:12.160 you want me to double down on or you want 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:14.640 to hear me. You disagree with it and you want 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:19.640 to hear me, have a rebuttal to your disagreement. Comment 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:23.960 on the YouTube version of this episode granger Smith on 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:26.600 YouTube and go find this episode. It should be the 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:29.440 latest one and comment and I'll go through like I 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:31.520 did this last one like five minutes ago. I was 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:33.800 just looking at this and I was like, oh, this 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.880 is cool. Okay, that might be something we can start doing. 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.760 So that brings me to this first question once Again 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:43.560 podcast at grangersmith dot com. This one comes from Chad, 0:04:43.960 --> 0:04:45.920 and Chad says, my wife and I made the trip 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:49.400 to Georgetown from Ardmore, Oklahoma a few weeks ago, and 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:51.840 we were able to attend a Mayis church and the 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:53.880 service and introduce ourselves. 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:54.799 To Marshall on the way out. 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:57.480 It was encouraging to worship and hear God's word being 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:01.160 preached with your local church. That's so cool. I'd love 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:04.200 to hear that. And this has happened several times that 0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:06.640 people have come to a Mais church in Georgetown, my 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:09.160 church and come from the podcast. 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.120 So if you are one of those people, not a lot. 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:14.840 Every once in a while, every a on a on 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:15.640 a random. 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.760 Sunday, there will be a couple or one person that say, hey, 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.760 okay because I heard I heard you mentioned this on 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:21.640 the podcast. I'm always there, so if you want to come, 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:25.640 say hey, do that. The rest of this email from Chad, 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:29.080 it looks like they It's a long email, so I 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:31.320 don't want to read it all, but it looks like 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:34.520 they were members of a church, they were in Oklahoma 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.720 for a long time, and then the wife it looks 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:42.320 like okay, okay, so they they purchased a home in 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:46.040 Oklahoma and they kind of you know they built their 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:50.800 nest there, and then here's what he says. This last April, 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:54.159 my wife was offered offered an opportunity to relocate with 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.760 her current employer back to Kentucky, where she's from, and 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:01.120 we felt ready to be close to family again. We 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.160 made a plan to list our place for sale over 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:06.520 Memorial Day weekend, and on the evening of April the 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:10.159 twenty eighth, I got called into haul fuel to a 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:12.560 rig and my wife didn't want me to go because 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.200 it was bad weather, and I went and tried to 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:18.279 reassure her it would be fine. A couple hours later, 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:21.640 there were multiple tornadoes on the ground. One was heading 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:24.680 towards our property. My wife and neighbor were able to 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:27.520 get into a safe room. Our place took a direct hit, 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:31.400 flooding our house and destroying most of our property. Through 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:36.000 this tragedy, we've had so much support. A neighbor invited 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:38.640 us to their church. It's the church we'd been looking 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.719 for all along. This is in Oklahoma, and we've attended 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:46.200 regularly since May. I'm feeling convicted to tithe going forward 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.960 and possibly for the past five months. Hey, we don't 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:53.080 feel comfortable going to a church while waiting for insurance 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:56.479 to settle so we could relocate. Godly counsel for this 0:06:56.560 --> 0:07:00.760 situation would be much appreciated. Thanks, Ched, I think I 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:01.920 understand what's going on, Chad. 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:03.479 So you are. 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:09.840 You guys found a place, You found this home in Oklahoma, 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:13.520 you finally settled in there, and then your wife gets 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:15.320 a job offer, and you guys all decide that's the 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:18.800 best thing for the families to relocate to Kentucky. And 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:20.960 then you decide that, and then a tornado hits the 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:25.320 place in Oklahoma, and so then you're like, well, now 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:28.360 the insurance has got to deal with this before we 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:32.360 could actually sell it. And it was even listed it 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:34.720 as a tornado hit, it sounds like, and so you 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:37.000 got everything's kind of on hold, and in the meanwhile, 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:40.920 you find this good church you're attending. So that's an 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:44.640 interesting question. It's an interesting situation, and it's a good 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:47.760 thing to be thinking through and praying through. And you're 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:54.120 specifically asking about tithing. If you're convicted to be tithing anywhere, 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:57.880 I think that should say something you should listen to 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:01.920 that conviction and not just a church. Of course, I 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.559 believe you should be given to your church. But because 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:07.640 you're in this transition period, you're wondering what to be doing, 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:12.120 and you could be convicted also on a for a ministry. 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:14.600 You could meet someone that runs a ministry and you 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:16.800 really believe in that ministry, and you could feel convicted 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:19.160 to gift to that ministry. Amber and I will go 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:21.920 through this. You know, Amber will come home and she'll go, Hey, 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:23.760 I met this woman and she runs this. 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:25.120 Thing, and I think we should give to them. 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:27.760 And I'll say, okay, I'll trust your conviction on that, 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:29.760 and then vice versa if it happens to me and 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:34.000 I tell Amber, and we never disagree. It's always like, hey, 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:37.199 if you're feeling convicted, let's do this. And I think 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:40.480 that's what you're saying. You're feeling convicted to tie to 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.760 this specific church, So there's nothing wrong with that and 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:50.160 you should listen to that. But here's the deal. You 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:54.440 don't feel comfortable joining the church while waiting for the 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:56.680 insurance to fix the property, so you could just sell 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:58.839 it and then move away. And I agree with that, 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:03.240 and that doesn't mean you shouldn't attend. I think there's 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:06.320 there would be nothing wrong, and in fact, you would 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.800 be encouraged to attend. This good church with your friends 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.640 and tell the leadership of the church exactly. 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:13.000 What's going on. 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:15.199 It's like, Hey, my name is Chad and this is 0:09:15.240 --> 0:09:18.679 my wife and and we we love your church. We're 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:21.160 actually moving to Kentucky. We thought we were going to 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:23.880 move be moving sooner, but you know, this tornado and 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:26.000 took out our property and so we're dealing with insurance 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:27.800 and the rebuildings. Think good as no one was hurt, 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:30.439 but we're going to re We're going to fix things, 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:32.400 get it back into shape so we could sell it. 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:35.000 In the meantime, we're going to be here. We don't 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:38.360 feel like we should be members here because we'll be moving, 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:42.200 but but we want to be sitting under the wise 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:46.160 teaching why we can. And I think that would be 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:49.360 encouraging to the pastor. I think it would be appropriate 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.360 to tell them that and they can kind of wrap 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:54.960 their arms around you, help walk you through this transition. 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:57.160 That's what they're there for. That's what a pastor would do. 0:09:57.280 --> 0:10:00.120 Is it's you know, a pastor is a shepherd in 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.280 your sheep, and you would be waiting your a sheep 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:08.559 in transition going to another pastor and another another group 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:11.599 of sheep right, So this this shepherd is handing you 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:13.640 off to the other other shepherd in the meanwhile, he's 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:15.559 gonna love you and take care of you while you're 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:20.160 in his pasture. Okay, I think that's pretty straightforward. But 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:26.720 what I would be doing to avoid that sounds like 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:27.640 a difficult situation. 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:28.240 You've been in. 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:32.240 Outside of a church, looking for a church, trying to 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:36.240 find the right church. I want to make sure that everything, 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:42.920 in everything I've said, you're appropriately investing time in Kentucky 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:47.000 so that you're not just gonna this house gets fixed, 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.040 you sell it, you move, you get to Kentucky, you 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:52.240 settle in, you go. Okay, now that I'm here, let's 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:53.480 find a church, let's. 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:56.520 Get plugged in. Right, don't wait that long. 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.760 I know a lot of people, a lot of faithful 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:04.800 brothers that have moved, and before they even found the 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.760 place that they moved into, they made sure that the 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:11.679 church they wanted to join was in the neighborhood, so 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:15.839 they they base their move around the church instead of 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:20.640 the church around the move. And that's not often talked 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:24.760 about or thought about, but most people they go and 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:28.959 they say they're going to go, dear brother, mine, dear friend, 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:32.640 he was actually an elder and at amaeis he moves 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:36.880 to Seattle just this year and because of work, he 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:40.360 had to go to Seattle and relocate. And Seattle's a 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.720 big place, you know, there's lots of suburbs, there's lots 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.280 of towns around it, there's ways for him to commute. 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:47.880 So they didn't as a family, they didn't look at 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.800 the map and go, Okay, where is the place where 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.959 our dream home is. What's the neighborhood that we want 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.280 to live in that has the biggest yards so we 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:00.520 could throw the football in the backyard. What's the neighborhood 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:02.720 where I could park my bass boat in the driveway, 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:06.600 you know, what has room for me to back out. 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:09.120 They didn't think about that in that way. They thought 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:13.520 about it in terms of where is the church, the 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:18.920 healthy church that we know of through our network of 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:23.400 people that know good churches. Where are the churches that 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.400 we would attend and then we could actually become members 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.720 and serve. Where are those churches? And I think they 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.360 found two of them, and that one was here on 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.360 the map and one was here on the map. And 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.200 so from that they go, he's going there because he 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:39.320 has a job, so he's also just going to build 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:41.640 the relationship with his work. But he's going there and 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.560 he's going to these churches and he's talking to the 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:48.240 pastors there. Here's my situation, here's my name, here's my family. 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:50.640 We're moving from Texas. We're going to come here, and 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:53.559 we want to know more about what you're doing here 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:56.040 in this church. I mean that there's a lot more 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:59.959 to it, but that's the main part of the converse 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:02.480 is we want to see what this is like here. 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:07.920 And so they prayed through it. 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.079 He brought his wife, They met with a lot of 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:15.240 wise counsel, prayed through it, talked through it, spent many 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:18.480 times visiting these churches. They decided on the church. Finally 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.600 they decided which one out of the two that they 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.880 would they would like, and then from there they build 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.280 the radius around that of where they would be willing 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:30.680 to drive that that was in appropriate distance to work 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:32.760 in church and kind of meet in the middle. What's 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.600 what's in between my work and my church. Let's pick 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.280 a house in that area. And that's kind of crazy, 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:43.640 that's totally practical, but in a way, people don't do 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.400 it that way. And that's what Chad, that's what I'm 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.640 warning you of don't move to Kentucky and go, Okay, 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:49.920 now that we're here, where's. 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:50.200 A good church? 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:54.959 Do it the opposite right now, be finding the good church. 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:58.200 Be traveling there right now. It's the spiritual leader of 0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:02.160 your household. Go to Kentucky right now during this transition 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:07.040 period and use utilize the church you're currently attending, and 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:09.440 use the leadership there and say, I'm moving to Kentucky. 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.959 Help me, help me find a good, healthy church for 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.480 my family. This is critical for my family, and we 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.840 need to find a good church that feeds us spiritually. 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:25.720 And and then go there and find that church and 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:26.600 interview the church. 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.000 Essentially, that's that's the word. You want to interview them. 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:31.080 And then you're going to and then build your radis 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.560 and then look for homes around that church. And obviously 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:38.280 and that are that's still a driving a decent driving 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:39.640 distance for your wife to go to work. 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:43.040 Do it that way. Don't wait. 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.240 This is this is the most important thing that your 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:49.760 email didn't say. Think about that. Think about tomorrow's church, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:56.280 and then as you're convicted tithe today's church, go and 0:14:56.320 --> 0:15:00.520 attend today's church. Involve yourself in today's church. You don't 0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:04.400 have to be a member there. You don't have to join. 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.240 You're going to be joining in Kentucky. But right now, 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:09.760 during this transition period, it might be a while. It 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:12.080 might be six months, might be eight month, it might 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.640 be the year until this house gets fixed from the tornado. 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:17.680 Be thinking about Kentucky right now. 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.600 That was a long I'm sorry that was a long 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:25.160 way through that answer, but I think it's important. Next 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.440 question comes from Tommy says, good morning, Grader. My name 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:28.880 is Tommy. I'm twenty three years old. I live in 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:32.240 Kansas City with my girlfriend. Later this month, I plan 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.400 on asking her to marry me. She is an overnight 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:38.440 nurse at a nearby hospital. I drive a box truck 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:42.080 and deliver snacks to nearby grocery stores and gas stations. 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.280 Last week in your podcast, you weren't necessarily a fan 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:49.960 of a church with multiple services. You made some very 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:53.240 valuable points. My issue is that we've been struggling to 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.800 find a church that fits both of us with our 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.360 work schedules, and both of us often work Sunday. Do 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:04.000 you have any suggestions that can help out? Thanks stranger, Tommy. 0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:07.960 All right, Tommy, thank you brother. This is I mentioned 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.080 that on that YouTube channel. There were a lot of questions. 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:18.880 Probably the biggest complaint or disagreement I had with Marshall 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:26.480 and I discouraging churches with multiple identical services. Probably the 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:29.960 biggest thing that I heard was, well, I work on 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.680 Sundays and so I need to find a church that 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:37.720 has a schedule that meets mine. And that's kind of 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:39.840 what this question is. So I'm want to dive into 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.880 this with Tommy, and I'm going to tackle this as if, 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:47.000 like all these questions, as if we're driving down the 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:50.680 road you asked me a question, we're in the truck together, 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:52.520 I say, Man, this was me. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:53.280 Here's what I. 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:59.080 Would say because specifically with this question, Tommy, I've been 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:03.280 in your shoes. I've lived this, and so I can 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:07.480 tell you, looking back in hindsight, maybe what I did 0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:10.040 wrong and maybe what I did right. So that's how 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:15.439 we'll approach this first question. First question I have for 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:17.399 I would have for you is you say I live 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:22.760 in Kansas City with my girlfriend, and then you say 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.520 later this month, I plan on asking her to marry me. 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.080 So there's there's a couple of things that might be. 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:30.120 Out of order here. 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:34.000 I'm assuming you're saying you're living with or like same house, 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:38.560 living with their same apartment. That's not a good way 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:43.400 to start this this journey. It would be it would 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:46.240 be going going against the Council of the Bible, if 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:48.960 that's that's the way this was. So if that was 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:51.760 the case, I would say, let's move out right now, 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.960 let's let's separate right now. You're not you're not married, 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:59.040 so let's not pretend like you're married. This isn't she's 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.119 not your wife, So it's not pretend like she's your 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:05.959 wife until she is. And one of the implications, one 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:08.080 of the smaller implications of that is it's going to 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:10.520 be so much more special when you do marry or 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:12.479 and you move in together for the first time as 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:15.879 a married couple. It's going to be much more special. 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:21.160 That's a small implication of a bigger problem that I'm 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:24.719 seeing right here, of how the Bible would speak about 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:29.160 this specifically sexual sin. We have to eradicate that from 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:32.600 our lives, right And so I would not encourage you 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.800 to be living with your girlfriend in the same place, 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:39.000 in the same apartment, same house in Kansas City. 0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:40.360 I wouldn't. 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:42.560 That would be horrible, That would not be loving to me. 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:45.720 If I said that was cool, man, let's move on. 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:49.520 Then you say, later this month, I plan on asking 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:50.119 her to marry me. 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:51.479 Let's do that. 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:56.000 Let's Tommy, Let's make sure that happens next month. We 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:59.760 can't put that off because if something happens or tornado 0:18:59.840 --> 0:19:02.320 hits the forum, like the last question, let's make sure 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:10.399 this happens. Okay, And and then when you're engaged with 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:13.960 your fiance, that's the time then to start talking about 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:17.720 what works for your church that you want to start 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.520 together as a married couple. And Lord William raise some 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:23.680 babies in Okay, So you see the order of events here. 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:26.400 You wouldn't want to be with your girlfriend talking about 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:29.440 the church in a way that we need to pick 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:33.800 this now. It's not that it's unhealthy to talk to 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.280 your girlfriend about a church. You want to because you 0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:38.280 want to know that she's on the same page. But 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:40.960 you guys are planning like you're married and you're not yet. 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:44.000 So there's the nuance. Let's make sure that's taken care of. 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:51.200 And then let's dive into the real question. If you've 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:53.800 already dealt with everything I just said, let's move on 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:58.199 from that. And you see My issue with that, with 0:19:58.240 --> 0:20:02.480 the multiple services in a church, as we've been struggling 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:05.240 to find the right church that fits both of us, 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:08.880 that we'll work with both of our schedules, with both 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:10.800 of us often working Sundays. 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:13.119 So it's a little bit. 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:16.800 Similar to the last question where I was saying, don't 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:23.040 move to Kentucky and then find the church instead, Let's 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:26.800 make church the priority. What if what if we lived 0:20:26.800 --> 0:20:34.320 a life Christians that actually says in the way that 0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:36.879 we live, not what we say, not what we post 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:40.040 on Instagram, But what if we lived a life that 0:20:40.160 --> 0:20:45.960 reflected this idea that gathering with other Saints, other Christians, 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:51.760 other believers was very important to us. And what if 0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:57.440 we lived a life in such a way that career, jobs, 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:04.400 finding homes, findings for our kids revolved around this idea 0:21:04.840 --> 0:21:08.040 that we're making a priority above all of that for 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:12.320 a good, healthy church to sit under healthy, good biblical 0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:15.600 teaching from a good pastor, and a good church surrounded 0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:19.879 by other covenanting members of that church surrounding us. What 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:24.320 if we looked at it and lived a life that 0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:29.960 said career comes second to that where we live, in 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:32.040 what neighborhood we live comes second. 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:35.520 To that where my kids go to school. 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:39.879 Comes second to that, second to being in that healthy 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:44.600 church and showing up and giving glory to God through worship, 0:21:45.280 --> 0:21:48.680 through prayer, through wise teaching, which is the most important part. 0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:52.480 Is the preaching of the Word is the most important 0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:55.679