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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Rent and I

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Speaker 1: Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrubbing in.

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Speaker 1: I do have to say, oh, yeah, I think I

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Speaker 1: might smell. Wow, she just nose to pit right there

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Speaker 1: and like just really got it in there. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I what's the verdict? That stinky? Yeah? So I think

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Speaker 1: that I'm getting used to my natural deal rant And

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Speaker 1: I was gonna ask if you're doing that. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I've been using this deodorant for a very long time,

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Speaker 1: but I think either I don't know what's going on.

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Speaker 1: My body chemistry changed, but it's not as it's not

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Speaker 1: as effective. I'm not wearing perfume anymore because of my hashimotos.

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Speaker 1: So it's like a real situation over here. Dang, good

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Speaker 1: thing we're not outside by side. Correct for good, I

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Speaker 1: don't know what's five feet away. Yeah, and good thing.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend has signed us issues and can't smell anything.

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Speaker 1: Devastating Lord works mysteriously doesn't. He gives you a natural

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Speaker 1: deodor thing Hoshimotos can't work fragrances. And then you're with

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Speaker 1: a boy, a boy, a man who's zaddie. Okay, relaxed

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Speaker 1: because of the sinuses? Correct, Does he have any interest

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Speaker 1: in fixing that? Like a little Kayne. No, he has

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Speaker 1: no interest. Yeah, he's like, why why would I do

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Speaker 1: that to myself? It is funny because we were actually

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Speaker 1: we drove down to Baja Mexico this weekend and we

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Speaker 1: were driving through some this town that was like right

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Speaker 1: on the water, and it smelled like rancid fish, Like

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Speaker 1: you must smell just like fish that's been like in

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Speaker 1: the sun for two days straight. It was very bad,

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Speaker 1: and everybody on like the shuttle could was like really

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Speaker 1: having a tough time. And he was like, I smell nothing.

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Speaker 1: I have something to say that what if that's the case.

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Speaker 1: How did he smell your breath when he said it

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Speaker 1: was stale? It's it's you just can't smell all the time,

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Speaker 1: but smell for a long time. It's not that he

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Speaker 1: doesn't have smell, guys. It's like it's it ebbs and flows,

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Speaker 1: like with the seasons and the changing the sinus like, okay,

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Speaker 1: but he has no desire to solve that problem. Okay,

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Speaker 1: not being able to simple pleasures simple pleasures. He's like, well,

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Speaker 1: I either have to get it fixed and I can

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Speaker 1: smell everything like Tonya's non effective natural. This is new.

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Speaker 1: This is brand new as of like two days ago.

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Speaker 1: This is new this Yeah, your body has to adjust

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Speaker 1: to it. No, no, no no, I'm saying the smell, the

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Speaker 1: fact that I'm smelling is new, Like it's not like

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Speaker 1: this has been going on. Why why is that happening?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I have no idea, but I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: fix thoughts and prayers to you, prayers to you and yours.

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Speaker 1: How are you doing? Great? What did I do? What

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Speaker 1: did I do this weekend? At a riveting weekend? Tell

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Speaker 1: me about it? Stud Oh you know what I did? Do?

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Speaker 1: I did? Remember how I talked about this on my Instagram.

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Speaker 1: But remember how I was saying, like I want to

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to like do things where I can't talk

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Speaker 1: about this on the podcast. No, you talked about on

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Speaker 1: the vibe Thank you very much. Weekend, So I didn't

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Speaker 1: talk about the UM. I went to an event and

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Speaker 1: like normally these as Tona calls the industry events, What

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Speaker 1: else are they? I don't know, it's just funny. And

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Speaker 1: it was a dinner, so there weren't there weren't any

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Speaker 1: plus ones. And typically if I don't have a plus one.

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Speaker 1: I am like, I'm not going, but I committed to

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Speaker 1: this one. And the day comes and I remember that

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Speaker 1: I didn't have a plus one, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: how do I cancel us? A minute, like, I was

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Speaker 1: thinking of every excuse in the book, phoebe it and

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Speaker 1: edible like, which wouldn't even matter because I wanted to

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Speaker 1: do anything because she's STU owner. But I was like

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Speaker 1: trying to think, and finally I go, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go worst case it's awkward, and I

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Speaker 1: leave right get a good meal. I go. It's at

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Speaker 1: this beautiful mansion in Beverly Hills. Kirby Johnson was there.

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Speaker 1: I love Kirby. She's like one of my favorite and

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Speaker 1: I never get to see her unless we're at those things,

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Speaker 1: so industry events, industry events, see her industry events. I

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Speaker 1: love seeing her to the industry event, and so we

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Speaker 1: caught up and chatted, and then I sat next to Um,

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Speaker 1: this girl who was with the PR company Um, and

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Speaker 1: we just had the best conversation and had so much

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Speaker 1: in common, and like everyone that I was seated next

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Speaker 1: to was so kind and warm and like everyone was

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Speaker 1: like very like asking about each other and it was

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Speaker 1: such a great experience that made me go, why do

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Speaker 1: I why do I fear these things? I get so

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Speaker 1: in my head about it that I forget about the

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Speaker 1: other outcome, which is it could be great. Yeah. And

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Speaker 1: the thing is with these industry events, um, the ones,

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Speaker 1: I I don't know if I'm not cool enough, but

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Speaker 1: I never get a plus one on like I've always invited,

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Speaker 1: like sans plus one, Like it's just like Tanya rat

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Speaker 1: that's it, no plus one and I so I'm like

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Speaker 1: used to this, but it is when you walk in,

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Speaker 1: you don't know who's gonna It's not like there's like

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Speaker 1: a guest list so you can see who's there. Like

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Speaker 1: you have literally no clue who's going to be at

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Speaker 1: these things. And I remember I went to a rare

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Speaker 1: beauty one and I'm like, not, first of all, I'm

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Speaker 1: not in the beauty space at all, but it was

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Speaker 1: on International Women's Day and so um, and that's where

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Speaker 1: Eline Kaushi she In was like giving like speaking, she's

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Speaker 1: Selena Gomes as manager, and so I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: hear her speak, and so I went and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, that's where I end up meeting Victoria

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Speaker 1: Garrick and like all these people that I really like

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Speaker 1: enjoy following now and I feel like I've created some

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Speaker 1: sort of relationship with an. Eileen is one of the

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Speaker 1: endorsers of my book. I met her and was like

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Speaker 1: really inspired by her and went up to her after

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Speaker 1: and like talked to her, and um, she's now one

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Speaker 1: of the endorsers of our book, and so it's like

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Speaker 1: everything kind of I don't know. I feel like these

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Speaker 1: these industry events can be like intimidating in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: but like once you kind of walk in, then it

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Speaker 1: just becomes cute vibes, cute vibes, cute vibes, like so

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Speaker 1: it's almost like recruitment for sororities. I hated that, Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I loved it. Yeah, but it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: you're walking into a new sorority house. You don't know

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Speaker 1: what to expect, and then you start talking to people

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Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is actually really

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Speaker 1: cool and I can like bond with these people. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of similar did you get hazed? No, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if that was like way back in the day,

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Speaker 1: but by the time I was in sorority. Nothing was

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Speaker 1: more fraternity fraternity and like we just got gifts. Like

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Speaker 1: we just got gifts. It's the opposite of nothing, like

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Speaker 1: like even something that could be borderline hazing, just something

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Speaker 1: unpleasant like yet to stay up all night or something

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Speaker 1: like that. No, I mean, initiation was like long and

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Speaker 1: we had to stay in rooms together and like you know,

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Speaker 1: but it was cute because we were all together and

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Speaker 1: like getting initiated cute. It's so cute. I had a

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Speaker 1: different experience, Like we didn't what they didn't live in

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Speaker 1: the houses. They were just used for like meetings and

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Speaker 1: stuff and like rush, but you didn't like stay in

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Speaker 1: the houses. But rush was different because when you're going

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Speaker 1: through rush, they're all trying to talk to you to

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Speaker 1: get you to be apart, so like you don't really

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Speaker 1: have to do anything, like you're kind of like you

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Speaker 1: go in and they're all like coming to you without

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Speaker 1: you selling you on their sorority. Right, So that's very different.

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Speaker 1: When I tell you I was in my glory days,

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Speaker 1: in my sororiity, I peked. Would you say you peaked

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Speaker 1: in sorority life? I peaked at like I was and

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Speaker 1: also becoming it was black when I was in college,

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Speaker 1: so I was front Row Center at my door, like

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Speaker 1: so basically, like the door is like the first thing

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Speaker 1: that everybody sees, you know, so I was always like

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Speaker 1: one of the first ones like that in the door

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Speaker 1: because they didn't want all blondes. They want to be

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Speaker 1: like we have brunette diversity. So I was always just

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Speaker 1: like in front row Center, And it was just so

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Speaker 1: much fun. I just felt it to be I don't know,

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Speaker 1: really pleasant, warm fun, you know, learning these songs together.

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Speaker 1: We're coming back early from summer break to like do

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Speaker 1: all this stuff and make posters and like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I found it just to be so fun. And also

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Speaker 1: like living together, we have these um what do we

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Speaker 1: call them sleeping uh, sleeping porches, So basically you don't

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Speaker 1: sleep in your bed, so you have like we all

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Speaker 1: had rooms. So imagine like a house with like fifty rooms,

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Speaker 1: right maybe it was, Yeah, they're huge, was huge, and

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Speaker 1: there's two people to a room, three people to a room,

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Speaker 1: and then there was a one big room with like

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Speaker 1: five girls and that was usually the older girls got

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Speaker 1: that room. And basically it's just like a closet, closets, desks,

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Speaker 1: and a day bed, and the day bed is like

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Speaker 1: if you want to take a nap during the day,

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Speaker 1: and then everybody slept in the sleeping porches. So it's

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Speaker 1: just like this giant room with bunk beds, and it

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Speaker 1: was always the lights were always off. It was always

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Speaker 1: pumping with air conditioning, and you only go in there

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Speaker 1: to sleep, so you could like go and take a

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Speaker 1: killer nap at like two pm and just like zonk

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Speaker 1: out because it was always dark, always cold, usually quiet,

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Speaker 1: and like if girls would sneak a guy in there

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Speaker 1: and we'd wake up. One time I took one time

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Speaker 1: I took Nike will and I like didn't let myself

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Speaker 1: get into me. I was always on the top bunk

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Speaker 1: and I didn't give myself enough time to get into

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Speaker 1: my top bunk and I could, and I guess everybody

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Speaker 1: in the sorority was like watching me, just like cracking

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Speaker 1: up because I was like trying to get into my

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Speaker 1: bed and like I couldn't. I couldn't get up the

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Speaker 1: stairs and I kept like falling And yeah, two times,

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Speaker 1: do you think dark haired sorority Tanya and poofy hair

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Speaker 1: Becca college would have friends? Interesting? I think so, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I was so like judge. I was like

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Speaker 1: very Christian judge. I was didn't drink and party. I

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Speaker 1: was very like judgmental about it too. You know what's interesting,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't judgmental. I went to a college. I was

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Speaker 1: very drug heavy, like drugs all over the place. But

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Speaker 1: I will say I he never wanted I had no

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Speaker 1: interest in partaking in it. But you but yeah, I

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Speaker 1: drink a lot. I drink a lot of alcohol. But

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Speaker 1: I never had any interest in taking any drugs. And

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Speaker 1: I also never felt embarrassed to say like no, I

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Speaker 1: don't want that. No, I don't care, like no, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I said no thank you probably a million times. I

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Speaker 1: like that polite Yeah I'm good, Really I'm good. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: thanks much? What was the just for fans? I was

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Speaker 1: a cap alphath data forever you were thriving in that

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Speaker 1: time of your life. Why have you ever considered going

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Speaker 1: back to jet black? You know, I just feel like

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Speaker 1: blonde suits me more. It's also very harsh. My skin

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Speaker 1: is very white and the black hair felt and it

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Speaker 1: was like black out of a box, like I did

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Speaker 1: the box the jet so to get it out of

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Speaker 1: the jet black, I had like a really weird Ronald

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Speaker 1: McDonald phase of life where my hair orangey and like

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Speaker 1: because I had to get it, you know, getting it

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Speaker 1: from black to blond. It was like quite the journey.

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Speaker 1: So I just I think I'm good here. I feel sophisticated.

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Speaker 1: I feel it. Yeah, I don't feel it's naughty. You know. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's a big house. I found it on Google Maps.

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Speaker 1: Can you see how many rooms are in there? Because

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Speaker 1: forty is like blowing them do building. It's not a dorm,

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Speaker 1: but it's like it's essentially it's essentially it's essentially a

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Speaker 1: small dorm. Oh, but it's not a house. It is

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Speaker 1: a house, a kitchen, a living room, dining room, courtyard.

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Speaker 1: It's not it's at home. Okay, I'm not saying how

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Speaker 1: it made you feel. I'm talking about going out. We

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Speaker 1: had a house mom, she lived in the house with us.

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Speaker 1: Kitchen Okay, I got seventeen square feet. I mean that

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Speaker 1: is substantial. Yeah, they're giant. Greek row was like, wow, girthy, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was girth. I would put you in the front

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Speaker 1: of a sorority of I was like in charge of

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Speaker 1: who's going to be the first person for them to see? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much. I would send you out first,

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Speaker 1: and I was from the soldiers. I was what was

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Speaker 1: I What did I want to be? Oh? No, I

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Speaker 1: was a pledge mom one year. So I was kind

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Speaker 1: of like the teacher to like all the new freshmen,

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Speaker 1: like I taught them all the stuff and that. So

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Speaker 1: that clicks so much much. Yeah, and I still follow

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Speaker 1: some of my little Kite sisters on Instagram doing big things. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was Sigma Kappa loving the Dove One Heart One Way. Wow,

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Speaker 1: what were your songs? Oh my Sigma, didn't you quit?

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Speaker 1: Didn't you like leave it? I went a lum. I

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Speaker 1: went alumni because after because I was only there for

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Speaker 1: a year, and to drop I had to write a

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Speaker 1: letter and I was like, I'm not doing that, So

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Speaker 1: I went a lum. So forever, One Heart, One Way.

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Speaker 1: I will say I was not a super active participant

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Speaker 1: in the sorority, as you can imagine, shocking. I did

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Speaker 1: it because my best friends did it, and that was

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Speaker 1: a lesson of like not needing to do everything everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not for everybody. No, No, it's different. I mean

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Speaker 1: it's it's a different thing, but it's great. It's a

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Speaker 1: great way to meet people. It takes me back to

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Speaker 1: these industry events, same thing, you know. But what I

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Speaker 1: was saying is that one of my New Year's goals

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Speaker 1: was like to do things that intimidate me that I'm

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Speaker 1: scared to do. And I was thinking grand things, you know,

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Speaker 1: like big things, career moves. And I realized on the

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Speaker 1: way there, I was like, Oh, this is something that

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Speaker 1: I can put into practice as this goal, because sometimes

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Speaker 1: we you know, the magic happens in the mundane and

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Speaker 1: the mundane, the magic happens in the mundane. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I put this thing on my vision board this year,

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Speaker 1: and I found it to be so like poetic. It

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Speaker 1: was something like something in the magic that wasn't magic,

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Speaker 1: but it's something in the every day. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: that's it. It's the every day. It's not crossing off

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Speaker 1: you know, these big life goals. I'm like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's it. You know, like when I would get New

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Speaker 1: York Times bestselling author shortly in a couple of weeks,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be like a huge life moment. But

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Speaker 1: it's not about the big life moments. It's about the

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Speaker 1: every day. That's pretty big thought that what that's gonna be. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I don't want to like, you know, put

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Speaker 1: the cart before the horse. Yeah, not be attached the outcome.

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Speaker 1: But I'm already attached the outcome. So yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: the outcomes at touched. If it doesn't happen, it's going

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Speaker 1: to be a a real, a real problem. I feel

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Speaker 1: like it's gonna happen. I'm not I'm not even concerned

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Speaker 1: about the alternative. And if it doesn't, we'll be there

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Speaker 1: to dream for more. You know, Oh my gosh, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna be Wow. We're not gonna go there right now.

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Speaker 1: We're not gonna go, but just preparing everybody here, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna be it's gonna be dark, just preparing us for

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Speaker 1: what could happen, could happen. Yeah, Um, yesterday I went

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Speaker 1: to a birthday celebration for our friend Audrey. Yeah. I

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Speaker 1: saw that because like making new friends a lot, and

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Speaker 1: like I love Audrey, like and you know what, I

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Speaker 1: remember the story about Audrey when you went to that

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Speaker 1: event and by herself myself, and it was a very

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Speaker 1: intimid intimidgrading, intimidating group of people. I was trying to

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Speaker 1: merge my words. It was like models, you know, Like

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Speaker 1: me was like, hey, which you are a mom model

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Speaker 1: for Becca Tilly by Macy's Model adjacent. Yeah, model adjacent,

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Speaker 1: But you were like it was a very intimidating group.

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Speaker 1: But I met this really really sweet girl and she

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Speaker 1: was so kind and so warm, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: who wasn't she was like she was? Her name was Audrey,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, Audrey's the best. So we reconnected

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Speaker 1: last year at the Angel City Soccer Games, which you know,

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Speaker 1: I went to multiple and she had her birthday yesterday

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Speaker 1: and it was so cool. It was a sound of bath.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever done a sound bath? It's like those

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Speaker 1: bowls that like you kind of do what they are. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I did one in Sedona like years ago, and it

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Speaker 1: was my first one because you just sit there and

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Speaker 1: listen to the sound. It's kind of like you just

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Speaker 1: close and close your eyes and relax and like listen

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Speaker 1: to the sound. Is describe that. I don't even know

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Speaker 1: how to properly describe it, but it's like these bowls

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Speaker 1: that like you kind of do an instrument around and

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Speaker 1: it makes like like sounds going to give you an interpretation.

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Speaker 1: So the scrubbing in sound bath, here we go. But

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Speaker 1: it's way more relaxing than that and peaceful but the

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Speaker 1: best part. It was just so great because she loves

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Speaker 1: sandwiches and sound bath. So we had some like delicious

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Speaker 1: sandwiches from where it's called potato chips. Dully, what's Hollywood? Um?

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Speaker 1: He says, allow me um. And then Jetty led the meditation.

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is so alay. I love it,

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Speaker 1: Like Ja Shetty led a meditation before sound Bath. It

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Speaker 1: was awesome. I love Jatt. Yeah, so that's gonna scar

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Speaker 1: band at some point. He's just very busy, busy man.

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Speaker 1: But we it was so it was so lovely, and

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Speaker 1: you know, it really struck me because I love continue

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Speaker 1: with your thought. I had just remember something when you

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Speaker 1: go around like at a birthday or like a celebration,

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Speaker 1: and everyone says like what they love about the person,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was so cool because everyone about Audrey

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Speaker 1: was like she makes you feel safe, like she makes

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Speaker 1: you feel seen in a room. She's so kind. And

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Speaker 1: I was thinking, what a like amazing thing for people

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Speaker 1: to say about you, Like what gift do you know

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Speaker 1: that you give people that you make them feel that way?

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Speaker 1: She really does do that. Because I remember I was

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Speaker 1: I was uncomfortable because it wasn't like a big industry man.

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Speaker 1: It was a very intimate one. It was like at

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Speaker 1: one table of us and I was like, Hi, model,

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Speaker 1: high sports, illustrated gal. Like it was just like this

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Speaker 1: crazy table and I just sat. I didn't know either

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Speaker 1: of the people next to me. The girls I don't

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Speaker 1: remember who was to the ride of me, but she

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Speaker 1: wasn't so friendly. They got had Andrey to the left

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Speaker 1: because she was like very chatty and like asking me.

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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I love this girl. Followed her

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and we never like we connected other like

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Speaker 1: when I see her around and stuff like that. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, we never really took our friendship to the

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Speaker 1: next level. But I do love her. She's great. And

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Speaker 1: then she's best friends with Marianna Hewitt, who I saw

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Speaker 1: yesterday at the grocery store and she was the thing yesterday,

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Speaker 1: I know. So I saw her and she was like

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Speaker 1: I just saw Becca, and I was so out of it.

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Speaker 1: I was like it couldn't really engage. I was like

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Speaker 1: Becca Becca Toba. But yeah, she was like I just

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Speaker 1: saw Becca, and I was like, oh, And then it

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Speaker 1: occurred to me after I left he I was like, hell,

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Speaker 1: did she see Becca? I'm always at things with Marianna.

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Speaker 1: Though Marianna. I thought Marianna. I think everyone says a

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Speaker 1: different way. But I think one time we asked when

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Speaker 1: she says Marianna about everyone? Oh my gosh, I've been

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Speaker 1: saying it around my whole life. Marianna Hewett, who's like

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Speaker 1: ultimate boss, influencer, businesswoman. Yeah, I've been calling her Marianna.

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Speaker 1: She started the brand Summer Fridays and she I've just

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Speaker 1: always like, since I've been in this like influencer space,

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Speaker 1: I've looked up to her just like in what she does,

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Speaker 1: and she's just she's great. She's like the the So

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Speaker 1: she's Audrey's best friend, so she's like the Tana. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we loaded up on Summer Friday's stuff yesterday. What yeah,

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Speaker 1: Allison was She kept saying that phrase to me over

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Speaker 1: and over and I was like, what's up her Fridays?

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Speaker 1: And yeah, we should have marian on. Yes, yes, she

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Speaker 1: started with Lauren Ireland. They are co owners and founders.

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Speaker 1: I wonder who is more of the Tanya, who's more

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Speaker 1: the beck On that friendship of who Mario, Marianna and Audrey.

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Speaker 1: Audrey and I have a law in common, so she's

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Speaker 1: the back up. But I think that she may be

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Speaker 1: the ton I don't know. We should ask that rivet

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Speaker 1: rivet riveting conversation. Um, we're going to take a break

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Speaker 1: and we'll be right back. Because was Oh, you went

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Speaker 1: on a trip this weekend. It was gone. You were

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Speaker 1: gone for for the whole time. I want to talk

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Speaker 1: about having BFF time and we'll be right back. All right,

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Speaker 1: So you went out of town this weekend. I went

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Speaker 1: to town. It was robbie sister in law birthday. So

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Speaker 1: sister in laws, yes, yes, yeah, So you were out

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Speaker 1: of town. We went to Mexico this weekend. And I

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Speaker 1: will say because we went to a place that's driving

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Speaker 1: distance from l a Um, which I've forgotten how I

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Speaker 1: forget how close it is, you know, because I was

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Speaker 1: like hop on a plane, but it is drivable. And

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Speaker 1: so it was interesting because my phone was like in

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Speaker 1: and out of service. I would have service, like I

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Speaker 1: had WiFi when we were in the hotel, but it

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Speaker 1: was very spotty, and so I really was like Swan's

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Speaker 1: phone all weekend. And it was okay, I feel like monsy.

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Speaker 1: People are like, oh, it was so nice to disconnect.

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Speaker 1: It was fine. Yeah, Like I found that it was

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Speaker 1: it was I was okay, okay, yeah, it was just fine.

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Speaker 1: I made it to survive. I survived. But it made

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Speaker 1: me think because you were like last night you text me,

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Speaker 1: You're like, how are you doing? How's my girl? And

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Speaker 1: I was like I'm great also, and then you really

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Speaker 1: I miss you? And I was like same, and I realized,

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Speaker 1: aside from the podcast, we have not hung out or

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Speaker 1: had one on one time, and like months, I can't

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Speaker 1: think of the last time, like literally literally could be

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Speaker 1: a year, my year, or maybe one on one maybe

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Speaker 1: one on one I'm thinking back to or whatever. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I've come over to your house before. But then like

405
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Speaker 1: Jojo Ali were there, it was like we we should

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Speaker 1: do like a BFF night and hang out because I

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Speaker 1: love quality time when it's all of us, like Robbie

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Speaker 1: and Haley and everybody. I love that. But it's also

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Speaker 1: like we have to, you know, nourish our friendship. We

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Speaker 1: need our friendship needs nourishment. It's like we need to

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Speaker 1: be watered. We're a plant that needs to be watered.

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Speaker 1: We are a plant that needs to be watered that

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Speaker 1: we need that tender love and care. We need the

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Speaker 1: sunlight and the time and the effort and the energy. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I think we should plan something to to nourish.

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Speaker 1: Happy to do it in two weeks. In two weeks,

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Speaker 1: two weeks, she's a busy gal. Next week, you know,

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Speaker 1: should find a New York post book launched. Then we'll

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Speaker 1: do it. You know What's interesting. So I always felt

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Speaker 1: like my life when I was single was pretty packed,

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Speaker 1: just like work and friends, Like I really filled my time.

422
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 1: And then when you get into a relationship, it's a

423
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 1: whole another set of like stuff added into it, you

424
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: know what I mean, not just like your partner, but

425
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 1: then like their their family and their friends that you

426
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: have to you know what I mean, Like we're always

427
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: trying to make time to double date and make sure

428
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 1: that we get quality time with like all of our

429
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 1: friends and family, and it's like very it's an interesting

430
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 1: balance that I've never experienced before. I also think that

431
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: I'm very happy for both of us that were both

432
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: in relationships where like we want to be with our

433
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 1: partner and like and do those you know, it's interesting.

434
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that because I feel like a

435
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: lot of married people don't like each other, and like

436
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: that makes me sad because I really like Robbie makes

437
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:12,880
Speaker 1: everything better. I genuinely feel I enjoy life more having

438
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 1: him doing it with me. That's all I feel, too.

439
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel any different. What do you mean?

440
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel what all these other people feel.

441
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: Do you think those people at one time felt pat

442
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: Though hard to say, I feel like we're in the

443
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: room with two people who were married, who like love

444
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 1: being with their well, and that's true, but I will

445
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 1: say this, Um, it's been twenty years married, twenty five

446
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: years together. And the analogy I make I thank you,

447
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. The analogy and maker is that

448
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 1: there's mom and dad, and there's Mark and Amy. Mom

449
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 1: and dad bicker, Mom and dad drive each other crazy.

450
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,159
Speaker 1: Mark and Amy show up. When we get off on

451
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: our own somewhere, like we went to Cape Cod this summer.

452
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 1: We can get the two of us off together, just

453
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: the two of us and the kids are taking care

454
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: of Everything's fine. Mark and Amy come right back market.

455
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: Amy are so in love and they have the best

456
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: time and they laughed together and there it's just like

457
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 1: it was at the beginning. That's Mark and Amy, but

458
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: Mark and Am around them once a year. Yeah, but

459
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:18,920
Speaker 1: we're Mom and Dad the rest of the time. So

460
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: like before you got to do the too too to rule,

461
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 1: we don't come anywhere near the two to the T

462
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 1: two two rule? Is what is it again? To day

463
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: nights today? To day nights a month, two weekends away

464
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: a year, one weekend, one weekend away every two months, okay,

465
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 1: and then a week away every two years something like that,

466
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: something that we do. None of those things. We've had

467
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: one day night like the past year, and one of

468
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,400
Speaker 1: our daughters joined us halfway through it. So how old

469
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 1: is our oldest? Okay? So sixteen years ago? So y'all

470
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: have been married or together for nine years? Um? So

471
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: y'all had Mark and Amy for nine years? Or was

472
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 1: there ever a moment where the Mom and Dad energy

473
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 1: market was strong? Mart is still strong? Come out one

474
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 1: Santa Mart market. Amy is gonna gradually start to take

475
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: over Mom and Dad over the next year. That will

476
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: really be the test the long term Mark and Amy

477
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: post Mom and Dad. Yeah, yeah, Wow, it's interesting. It's

478
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 1: just it's we got a cat that's at a vet

479
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: right now because it's swallowed a sewing needle. Like just

480
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: stuff just keeps coming up and it's all bad, and

481
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 1: we had a dog pass away recently. Like there's so

482
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: much there's always so much stuff going on. But it's

483
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: interesting because I had the um these friends that I met,

484
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: and they were describing their parents and how they had

485
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: this relationship where it was just like they did everything together,

486
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 1: they loved being together. They just really adored each other

487
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: as humans and best friends, and I don't know, really

488
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: like resonated with me. And I like when I was

489
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: talking after I talked to this person, I was talking

490
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 1: to Robbie and I was like, I genuinely feel that

491
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: way about you. Like I understand he can't be with

492
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: me every step of the way, and there are things

493
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: I do without him, but like, overall, I really enjoy

494
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 1: my life more with him in it. Yeah, Like the

495
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: preference day to day is to have him with you. Yeah,

496
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: be involved in what you're doing for sure. Yeah, but

497
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 1: I think you become so connected over the years. It's

498
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: almost like a part of you, you know, like your

499
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 1: partner is like a part of you. You wouldn't ever

500
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: want to be without that. But also every day you're

501
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: on saying, oh, thank God for my right arm. I

502
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,480
Speaker 1: love my right arm so much. But also if you

503
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 1: lost your right arm, you'd be desperate, you know what

504
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Interesting, Like, over time, it just becomes like

505
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 1: a part of your body don't appreciate every day, so

506
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: you really have to practice appreciation. I do, I do?

507
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:09,199
Speaker 1: I do? I really do? I really do? And then

508
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: I feel like East and Allison or East and Allison.

509
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: I mean, this is the one hour week I'm not

510
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: with Allison and it's absolute hell. Let me tell you,

511
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 1: just kidding. It's so much fun being here. But I

512
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 1: love it. I love doing everything with Alie. I don't

513
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: want to get everything else and she's great and we're

514
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 1: looking forward to being old people doing everything all the time. Yeah, yeah,

515
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: Like I think that. I like I like that because

516
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 1: someone asked me the other day on like I think

517
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 1: I put a question box on or something and they're like,

518
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: how do you do you consider yourself codependent? And I

519
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 1: was like, I never have, but I think guy am

520
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: more than I've ever been. Now here's the thing. I

521
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: don't think you're coding. I think there's a difference between

522
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 1: like you because I feel the same way because I'm

523
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: like I do I want robbing around all the time.

524
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: I love having a round, But codependent is like you

525
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,720
Speaker 1: need somebody, whether that's Hayley. Do you break up with

526
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: Haley tomorrow, You're going to feel that slot because you're codependent.

527
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 1: If you guys broke up tomorrow, you wouldn't need to

528
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 1: just feel that void because I'd be mourning for years. Well, right,

529
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: but like you're not codependent on another human, you know

530
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Like you're

531
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: not going from relationship to relationship because you can't just

532
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: like be on your own. So I don't think you're codependent.

533
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 1: I just think you're with a partner that you really enjoy,

534
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: which is a blessing. Yes, but I do notice that,

535
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: you know, it's like I get anxious when I think

536
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 1: about her leaving, like for you know, tour and long

537
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 1: term ands of outward throw me. I'm the one leaving Robbie.

538
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, gotta go to Good Morning America, see it

539
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: in three days. Well, I on the other way around,

540
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, I always try to explain to

541
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 1: her it's harder. It's I know it's hard for her too,

542
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: but she's also got so much going on. I'm busy

543
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: that like she's not. It's way easier for her than

544
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: it is for me. Yeah, it's easier for the person gone,

545
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 1: for sure, person who stays. But um, yeah, I just

546
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 1: I was thinking, like, how great. I feel so grateful.

547
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: I never thought I would be in a relationship where

548
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: I loved being around the person. I never thought you

549
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: would either, thank you so much. I really thought. I

550
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, Beca just doesn't have that

551
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: chip like the ship. She just doesn't have that chip.

552
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: It's and you thought she would just you know, grow

553
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: old alone. And no, I don't think she grow old alone.

554
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: But I just didn't think that she had, um the chip,

555
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 1: the chip like that. I just didn't think she had it.

556
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: She would date, but she wouldn't be in love and

557
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: she would just do that the rest of her life,

558
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: like I would just experience mediocre like connection. Yeah, that's

559
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: so sad. Well, I actually, like we had a lot

560
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: of break the ruse. We had a lot of conversations

561
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, but Becca kept saying, I just

562
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: I don't think I have it. He was coming from you. Yeah,

563
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: I just think that I probably would have stayed single,

564
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: Like I just would have been I would have been

565
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 1: that person that you are like, hey, come on over,

566
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: you know, like I just think I would have been

567
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: that person because I think I liked being single more

568
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 1: than like trying to force a relationship, which I never

569
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: really did. I never felt like I mean I didn't.

570
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I forced a relationship with Robert.

571
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 1: I just think I was like so emotionally disconnected from

572
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 1: myself that like it was very uh. But looked at it,

573
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: it was like so cool, and I was like, wow,

574
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: the fact that she can just like go days without talking, yeah,

575
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: like not care. I was like what I would give

576
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: to not care. But I did care, Like I was

577
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 1: talking about this other day in therapy that I did

578
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 1: care when he would go on his trap with all

579
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: the like remember he like did all those tours with

580
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 1: like yeah, but it was I don't know, it's a

581
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 1: different type of care. Like you were so chill, like

582
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: you were just like ice. Yeah it was. It was melted.

583
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: You melted. Shoot, Yeah, you melted. Build it up again

584
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: not I don't know if you can once it's not

585
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: it's like yours. Once the ice is melted, it's just

586
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 1: like a hot, burning, hot, fiery part. He just put

587
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: ice over burning fire. She's gonna melt. She's water. Wow,

588
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 1: that's me. Shoot, she's she's different. She's different. Actually, you know,

589
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 1: somebody said it the other day, maybe it was Robbie.

590
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 1: He was like, you know, she's doing a lot of

591
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 1: Tanya things lately because you've been like very emotional and

592
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 1: sensitive and like thoughtful. What the heck I have always been.

593
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: I've always been thoughtful, but at a different level, like

594
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: I can't remember now, but it was something like, you've

595
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: just been on a different level of thoughtfulness. It's like,

596
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: my girl and I like the grine, like my heart

597
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: grew three sizes or whatember sound like? It sounds like

598
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: a band compliment, taking us a backhand. I didn't, but

599
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: now I did. I didn't mean it as now that

600
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 1: you know, thoughtful, good person sensitive, like crying more. I

601
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: do cry more. It's so it hurts, like it physically

602
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: hurts to cry. Yeah, it's not all rainbows and butterflies.

603
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: I had a crying fit I wanted to share with

604
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: you the other day. While watching Sex in the City.

605
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: I was watching the episode where Aiden replaces Carrie's laptop

606
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 1: because I really wanted to get mad. And that episode

607
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: where Miranda's mom dies. Remember that, Oh yeah, oh my god,

608
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: the part where that she's like shopping for a bra

609
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: off for the funeral, and the saleswoman like comes in

610
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: and she's trying to help with the braun and she's like, no,

611
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: get your hands off me. And then she's like she

612
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: just brings her and hugs her and she's like and

613
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: I had that feeling I would never hug my mom again.

614
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And just like started like heaving crying,

615
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: and we just talked about it. I hadn't like cried

616
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 1: like that from like watching show or moving a really

617
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: long time, and I that was le when you think

618
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 1: about that, Did it feel good like the release? It did?

619
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 1: I was watching with Alasad House and lost her mom

620
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,959
Speaker 1: a few years ago, and so we had a moment

621
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,399
Speaker 1: watching this together and uh, it did feel it felt good.

622
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,720
Speaker 1: And then I switched right back to anger aiden walking

623
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 1: and I got your new laptop. It's got a little

624
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: handle like a cute little purse, and I was like,

625
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 1: oh God, I want to french this man in the

626
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 1: face so badly. I thought that was nice of him.

627
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 1: Response to the picture. I was just gonna say, I

628
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: got sent that damn picture so many times. I made

629
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 1: me angry every time. Okay, so we're back to just pure. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

630
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 1: I I don't like Aiden. I don't like him at all,

631
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 1: and I'm so sad he's coming back. What about character growth?

632
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: What about growth in someone? What if he went to

633
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 1: therapy all these years and is not selfish like he

634
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 1: once was? He was selfish, I don't I think he

635
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 1: was because he was Carrying. He wanted he had this

636
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: version of what he wanted Carry to be in his head,

637
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 1: and that's what he loved and that's what he was

638
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 1: responding to. That was not what Carry was, just because

639
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 1: of the smoker situation. But three things, well were the

640
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: three things they were back to back too. It was

641
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: the her computer breaks and he's like, I'm going to

642
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: fix this in the way I think is best for Carry,

643
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 1: not what Carry wants. Understand her love language. It happens,

644
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: and she tried to tell him over and over. He

645
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: wasn't listening. And then the next episode he's like, we're

646
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 1: going to the country. I'm taking to the cabin and

647
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: she does not want to do that. It's not the

648
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 1: kind of girl Carry is, and he wanted to make

649
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 1: her into that kind of girl. But she stood around.

650
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 1: She was like I don't like this right, like she

651
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to do this isn't who

652
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 1: I am. Yes she did, but he was not happy,

653
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: and well sometimes sometimes we don't like being told what

654
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 1: we need to hear. But you learn from it. And

655
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: then he lost her, so maybe he learned and then

656
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 1: he saw her in the Middle East in the movie.

657
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: We don't talk about that movie, y'all. Areas. I love

658
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 1: both of them now. The first one was like okay,

659
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: but the second want to just pure garbage. But those

660
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 1: don't exist, so like to me, I left off where

661
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: the series left off. Okay, well that's actually not We're

662
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 1: left also know there's been storylines in between, so much

663
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,439
Speaker 1: great television right now, and you guys are just watching

664
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,359
Speaker 1: stuff and twenty five years ago East and I don't

665
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:49,839
Speaker 1: get it. So chevision. I'm binging Succession. I'm loving every

666
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: second of it. I can't wait. I'm trying to think

667
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,919
Speaker 1: in my mind when I can get to a TV

668
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: next to watch more Succession. It's so incredibly good. This

669
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 1: great list I left after that I wanted in the

670
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,479
Speaker 1: new season. If Servant is out an Apple TV plus,

671
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: I just Severance is what I was talking about. Severance

672
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 1: is great, but I'm talking about servants and there's so

673
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: much good stuff out there. You named three shows, so group.

674
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: I watched The hatchet Wielding hitch Hiker last night. Do

675
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: you remember that the guy that went viral and we

676
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 1: watched the trailer for that. I haven't seen the whole thing,

677
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: but it's it's kind of weird because it's almost like

678
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: they took this viral moment from this hitchhiker guy who

679
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: saved someone from hurting someone else with a hatchet by

680
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: hitting him in the head with the hatchet, and he

681
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: went viral for his interview, and then they tried to

682
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 1: almost make him a celebrity. But it was like taking

683
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 1: someone It was almost like taking like a wild animal

684
00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: and expecting them to know how to be trained in

685
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: the span of like a day. It was wild. Your

686
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,840
Speaker 1: algorithms are so different than mine. This is like a

687
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: Netflix documentary that got releases, but like, never once is

688
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: that popped up in my thing. Mine's like Pressure Cooker

689
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: and Matilda the Musical, and that's the world I'd like

690
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: to live in. It was interesting. Yeah, I have my

691
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 1: list here, the last of us on HBO. I want

692
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: to watch that The Crown. I haven't finished you. I

693
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: don't want to watch that on Watch Wednesday. Ye don't

694
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,839
Speaker 1: want to get to that hand or and Disney Plus,

695
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: but Kinda Forever is coming out in Disney Plus in

696
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. Plus its no Oscar season and

697
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: now Monees are out tomorrow, so I mean they gotta

698
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: watch all the Best Picture nominees. So I gotta watch

699
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 1: the Benchees of innis sharing and the Fable moans that

700
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 1: there's so much to watch, I'll never catch up. You

701
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:46,359
Speaker 1: should watch a True Crime scene Kitchen. It's really really good,

702
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:51,439
Speaker 1: you know. HBO is the first three seasons of The Flintstone. Also,

703
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 1: if you haven't watched just like that season one, yes,

704
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: get caught up. You can get caught up. I haven't

705
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,760
Speaker 1: finished season one and get wait to like hate watching

706
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: to again. It was such a like unique experience watching

707
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: a show that I got so angry at but then

708
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,839
Speaker 1: like was excited to watch. It was a weird emotional

709
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 1: roller coaster for me. We need to get to email,

710
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,720
Speaker 1: so we're gonna take we have a strip club email

711
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 1: and alright, Mark left us with the tease for this

712
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: one of the emails. Stay, but are we starting with

713
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep teaching this is from Emily listening from

714
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 1: the very beginning and I love your friendship. I decided

715
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,720
Speaker 1: to email for the first time since my situation involved

716
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,800
Speaker 1: my best friends since middle school for contact. We're in

717
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: our mid thirties, were both married. She's been struggling with

718
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 1: infertility and had a miscare last year. My husband and

719
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,279
Speaker 1: I decided to start trying for a baby at the

720
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 1: end of last year, and she warned me it can

721
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: take multiple months to get pregnant. We got pregnant on

722
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: our first try. I'm thrilled, but I haven't told her yet.

723
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: I'm concerned how it's going to make her feel, and

724
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to call her any pain. At the

725
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: same time, I want to celebrate this life moment with

726
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 1: my best friend. How do I tell her? How can

727
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 1: I be a sensitive to her feelings as possible in

728
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: this situation? This one is hard. Yeah, this is hard

729
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 1: because it is sensitive. But you know, I think that

730
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: as a best friend, I'm just thinking if this was us,

731
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 1: and I don't know because we're not in this exact situation,

732
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: but I do think is a best friend or someone

733
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 1: close in your life, you can hold space for disappointment

734
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: because you want something and also excitement for the person

735
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 1: who you love. So I think there's room for her

736
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 1: to maybe feel disappointed or jealous or envious that you

737
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 1: got pregnant immediately and she hasn't be able to do that, um,

738
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 1: but also be so excited because you're her best friend

739
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 1: and that she wants everything good for you. And I

740
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: also think that you know being the fact that you're

741
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 1: even emailing and that you're so empathetic to what she's

742
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 1: going through is such a beautiful thing. And you can

743
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: even lead with that and say like, I was nervous

744
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: to share this with you because of everything that you've

745
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 1: gone through, UM, and kind of be sensitive in that way.

746
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: But Becca is right, you know, just because just because

747
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: you're having something really happy happen in your life doesn't

748
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 1: mean you can't share it with your best friend and

749
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 1: still also grieve with her and be there for her

750
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: through her process. Yeah, I think you just say like

751
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: I have, I've been so excited to share this news

752
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: with you, specifically because you're going to be someone that

753
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 1: is so important in this baby's life. And I also

754
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 1: know that this is um hard, hard information for you

755
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 1: to hear too, And I'm still with you in your process,

756
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: But I, um, I wanted to share this with you,

757
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 1: and you know, I think you're allowed to be so

758
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,360
Speaker 1: excited about this. This is a very exciting time in

759
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: your life, so don't you know dim your joy. But

760
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,800
Speaker 1: also I think you're a very compassionate, empathetic friend, and

761
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 1: I think you'll be able to handle it wonderfully. I

762
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 1: think you just acknowledge, you know, acknowledge how important it

763
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 1: is that you were so excited to tell her, and

764
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: also know that it's a difficult time for her to Yeah,

765
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 1: we had a similar situation. Where are our friends, our

766
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: best couple of friends. They really struggled and we luckily

767
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: fortunately had no trouble at all. So it's an awkward thing.

768
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: They are the best people in the world, and they

769
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,720
Speaker 1: couldn't have been happier for us now behind the scenes

770
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: where they upset, I don't know. To us, they couldn't

771
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 1: have been greater and happy ending. They have two kids

772
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,360
Speaker 1: of their own now, and our kids love playing with

773
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,360
Speaker 1: their kids, and they're play anymore of the old for that.

774
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: But you know what I'm saying, they're very close. It's great.

775
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: It's a happy ending, and I think they'll be a

776
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: happy ending here too, so you know what it clicked

777
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: in for them, which is such a crazy thing. And

778
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 1: you hear these stories sometimes when they gave up. They

779
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 1: one new year, they made a resolution that we're done.

780
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: We're not trying anymore, no more I VF, no more doctors,

781
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: no more anything. We're done. We're just gonna be pet

782
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: parents and be happy with that for the rest of

783
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 1: our lives. She was pregnant in March of that year.

784
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: That happened with the friends of ours. They could couldn't

785
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 1: get pregnant, couldn't get pregnant, couldn't get pregnant, ended up adopting,

786
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,360
Speaker 1: and after they adopted, she got pregnant. She got pregnant,

787
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 1: So now they have to Yeah, but I think there's

788
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: space for celebration and hard times. I agree, and especially

789
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 1: within a friendship. I think it's kind of the navigating

790
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: life circumstances. But I think she'll be very happy for you,

791
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 1: And I think, um, I think you deserve to be

792
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,279
Speaker 1: excited about this congratulations when we're very happy for you,

793
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,919
Speaker 1: very happy for you. All Right, here we go anonymouss

794
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,839
Speaker 1: about strip club. My husband's going to a bachelor party

795
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 1: in the spring and they're planning on taking the room

796
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,360
Speaker 1: into a strip club, which I'm totally cool with, but

797
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 1: I know the future bride is not okay with her

798
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: future husband going to a strip club, and he has

799
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 1: lied to her in the past, saying he's never been

800
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,359
Speaker 1: to one, even though he was at one the week

801
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 1: before they had the conversation for a different bachelor party

802
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: that my husband was also at. I need advice on

803
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 1: how to proceed. Do I encourage my husband to abort

804
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: the strip club idea if he refuses. Do I give

805
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 1: the future bride heads up so she can set clear

806
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: boundaries before the bachelor party occurs. Or do I leave

807
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,360
Speaker 1: the situation alone because I'm overthinking it and it's not

808
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 1: my business. I'm not super close with the bride, but

809
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: I consider her a friend. I'd hate for this to

810
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 1: blow up someday after they're married, if she were to

811
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 1: accidentally find out. I hate that he lied. Why it's bad.

812
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: It's bad? But does she get if this isn't herd

813
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: I thank you, Stay, I thank you you played with

814
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 1: the girl so like talk about it, be like, oh

815
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 1: my gosh, Like is your whatever it's called? Ted? Is

816
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 1: Ted excited for his bachelor party? What is he gonna

817
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: just like have a normal conversation and then just be like, oh,

818
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 1: are they going to go to a strip club? And

819
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 1: then see what she says and then just kind of

820
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 1: lead her, like lead her to the path. What if

821
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: she's what if she's like, no, I'm not comfortable with that,

822
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 1: so they're not going, And then you can be like, oh,

823
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 1: does he know that? I don't know if I love that.

824
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: I think I think and I think you stay out.

825
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 1: But the only reason I think stay out is because

826
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 1: she's not a best friend, but she's a friend. Yeah,

827
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 1: but I think I would be I would handle something

828
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 1: differently with you than I would with someone who's more

829
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: like an acquaintance friend like who I don't know. I

830
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: don't know, but I think I would handle something differently

831
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: with you than I would with someone who I was

832
00:45:55,680 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: just like close way through a relationship. That makes sense,

833
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 1: Like it sounds like she's friends with this girl, because

834
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:06,479
Speaker 1: she did say acquaintance. She said friend, consider her friend.

835
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, not super close with her is what

836
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 1: she said. It's going to blow up one day, but

837
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: when it does, that's between them. That's not on you.

838
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: I don't see it blowing up one day, And she

839
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 1: knows that you knew, and it destroys the friendship and

840
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 1: everything she can help prevent it. What a blessing. It's

841
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 1: too late. He's already lied to her. That's my issue

842
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:28,839
Speaker 1: with this whole thing is that he lied to her

843
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 1: about something that, like, I don't know, it wasn't necessarily

844
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,319
Speaker 1: he needed to lie about, which makes me just kind

845
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 1: of feel like towards him and she's going to marry him.

846
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: That's the only thing where I'm like, does she say

847
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: something like what if she was just casually like, oh

848
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,600
Speaker 1: my gosh, I can't believe they're going to a strip club?

849
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 1: Like and then she's like what right? Right? That's what

850
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Bring it up in like a non serious way,

851
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: just so that she can get the information she needs.

852
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 1: But you have to make it this like we need

853
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 1: to talk conversation, Like does she just say, like, how

854
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:06,919
Speaker 1: do you feel about them going to a strip club?

855
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 1: And she's like, I didn't know they were going to

856
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: a strip club? Then you walk away? What's the wedding?

857
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:19,760
Speaker 1: Get calle off right behind I don't know I'm toward.

858
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 1: Does she leave it? Does she just stay say I

859
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 1: don't I hate strip clubs? I don't. It's like it's

860
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 1: like entertainment from medieval times. That's why I just get involved.

861
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: Just when when we were getting married, Alison and her

862
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,279
Speaker 1: friends went to like like a wine weekend. They went

863
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: away to Temecular or something, and one of her friends

864
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 1: called me and was like, I need to let you

865
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 1: know this. One of the other girls is going to

866
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: surprise Allison with a stripper in the room and if

867
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 1: you want, I will stop it. And I said, let

868
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: this happen. I want to see. This guy's totally different,

869
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 1: it's completely institute. The other reason I wanted to see

870
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:03,800
Speaker 1: what happened is they said he was going to be

871
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: in costume as a banker, and that theme made me laugh,

872
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: and I want to see how that happened. It was bad.

873
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 1: I should have called it off before it was all

874
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: fun and off. He was definitely an outscore, not a

875
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 1: good time. Uh, there's a couple of funny pictures. Alison

876
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 1: thought it was funny little so it's like I'd rather

877
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 1: not that not happen. Yeah, you know, the banker thinks

878
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,840
Speaker 1: funny like I've never seen I've never heard of the

879
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 1: banker fantasy firefighter please bankers glasses? Yeah, ching I'm talking

880
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: about this. I is there any world men that if

881
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: she said something to her husband, no, you can't do

882
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 1: the train to be like hey does does so and

883
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: says wife? No? Like does everyone? Has everyone come to

884
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 1: what the strip club? Like? I know you and I

885
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: have talked about it, but just making sure because I

886
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:05,760
Speaker 1: don't want to be uncomfortable for me and said bride.

887
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:11,839
Speaker 1: If I'm the husband, I'm saying that's between them, then

888
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: I think maybe you just let it, just let it

889
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: go just like that. It's my friend. I know she

890
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 1: feels passionately about this, but wouldn't make a difference to

891
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: the bride if she told her, Hey, he's lied. He

892
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,840
Speaker 1: has gone to strip clubs. So you don't have to

893
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 1: tell him that he lied. You don't have to like

894
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:36,320
Speaker 1: tattle or gossip. Okay, Tanya, what is the plan that

895
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 1: you're saying she could lead her to the horse to

896
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 1: the water? What how does that look out? You're the

897
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: friend to Ted's and I'm the friend that knows that

898
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 1: your your husband Ted is going to strip club? Well,

899
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 1: what's your name, Sarah? I don't have a name. Lily

900
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,759
Speaker 1: is Ted so excited for his batchlor party? I know

901
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: Sam talks about it. They're so stoked. Yeah, I think

902
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 1: they're super excited. It sounds like it's gonna be fun.

903
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 1: What's on the Do you know what's on the agenda?

904
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: I haven't even asked. You know, they're just gonna do

905
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 1: their thing. Yeah. Is there anything that's like off limits?

906
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 1: Because I know, you know, when Sam had his there

907
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 1: were I kind of set some ground rules because I like,

908
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 1: don't like strip clubs, and so I just like, no

909
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 1: strip clubs, no strippers, but you know, have fun. Oh

910
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 1: I heard that you were okay with strip clubs. I

911
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:34,279
Speaker 1: am now. I am now, but I wasn't then. Okay, Yeah,

912
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not comfortable strip clubs. But I don't

913
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 1: even think Sam does that. Does Ted know that. Yeah,

914
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,320
Speaker 1: we've talked about it. He's never been to one before,

915
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 1: so I think we're good. I don't think he has

916
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 1: any interest in them. I would just say, coming from

917
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,879
Speaker 1: somebody who's been there, done that, make sure you guys

918
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 1: have your boundary set before he goes. But I mean

919
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 1: it's all good. Yeah, I mean I trust him, So okay,

920
00:50:54,800 --> 00:51:00,479
Speaker 1: gonna be fine. Awesome, Lily, Thanks anyway, are you excited

921
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 1: about the wedding? Yeah, pivot, just pivot the conversation to

922
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:14,360
Speaker 1: accomplished accomplishment. We don't maybe because maybe her shoe on

923
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 1: her shoe tonight and just say, hey, you know, I'm

924
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,319
Speaker 1: just curious for the bachelor party. Is there any plan

925
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 1: to go to strow Club? And then that's as far

926
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 1: as you can go. Yeah, okay, I'm not I'm not

927
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: opposed to that. Thank you. You can use to feel

928
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 1: free to relyind the podcast and type it up if

929
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 1: you need, But I do feel for you. This is

930
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 1: a complicated situation. But it's the lying that like like

931
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 1: if you're if the husband came up to you and

932
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 1: it was like, look, my friends are throwing me this

933
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 1: awesome bachelor party. We're going to a strip club. I

934
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:46,359
Speaker 1: know you hate it. It's a once like I don't

935
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 1: do it off. Like if he was opened and upfront

936
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:52,279
Speaker 1: about it, I would feel a certain type of way,

937
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:55,839
Speaker 1: but the fact that he's like lying about it, it's

938
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,480
Speaker 1: just dark. I think I think that conversation is fine

939
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 1: because then like at that point you like, oh, you's

940
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 1: just that boundaries like yeah, no worries, I got it.

941
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: She's that's you tried. I tried. I think that's at

942
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 1: least you have your conscious is a little more clearly.

943
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 1: Strip clubs manan, why can't they be banned? Just keep

944
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,399
Speaker 1: him in Ozark? You know, bachelor party, bachelor bachelor party.

945
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: What do you say, banned? And yeah, I just banned them. Well,

946
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 1: I don't think everyone has a problem with them, but like,

947
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 1: why do we need them? It just seems like an

948
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 1: outdated concept batch. It just seems like something that's outdated

949
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 1: and antiquity. Do make it work and it's just like

950
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 1: not you know of women standing on a stage and

951
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 1: just men just giving just funneling money into them. I

952
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 1: like that idea. I think, like just taking money from

953
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,919
Speaker 1: them there, Like I'd like that, oh that women keeping

954
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 1: your clothes on? Yeah, ideally like they're in a pant suit.

955
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: You guys are just giving come to a scrubbing in line,

956
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 1: throw as much cash up stage you want happy to.

957
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 1: I think if like you know, if women want to

958
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 1: do that and men want to go. I think that's

959
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 1: the case sometimes. But I do think that some women

960
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 1: are like I'm gonna it's an empowerment angle and like

961
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 1: I can do what I want with my body. And

962
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: if a guy is single and he is doing it

963
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: in a respectful way, whatever that looks like whatever. I

964
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 1: think the problem is when it causes discourse in couples. Discourse, yes,

965
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 1: that's what that is. Arguments, just kind of a conversation.

966
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:41,280
Speaker 1: But I think I know what you're saying, consuption, disruption, whatever, discourse,

967
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 1: Well regardless, I think if you're with a partner who

968
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 1: lies about it, regardless of where they're going, what they're

969
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:54,719
Speaker 1: doing a partner, that's the problem. So on that note,

970
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 1: I think the podcast is over. I have to bid

971
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,399
Speaker 1: you farewell, but have no fear because we are back

972
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:05,759
Speaker 1: Thursday with Candice King. But we haven't talked to since

973
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 1: two thousand nineteen on the podcast. On the podcast, but

974
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: we've been talking to her regularly outside of the podcast. Yeah,

975
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 1: so we're going to catch up with her and we'll

976
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 1: be back on Thursday. So have a great week. Bye bye,