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Speaker 1: I told my best friend that I wouldn't be her

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Speaker 1: bridesmaid after what she tried to do to my boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: You won't believe how she responded.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, how can you respond like doing

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Speaker 2: something with the boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: I mean, what's she doing?

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Speaker 2: That's the question. Is she doing arts and crafts? Is

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Speaker 2: she giving a little massage? Is she making macaroni salad?

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Speaker 2: Is she slobbing on his cob salad? Wow? This is

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Speaker 2: turning to be a delicious barbecue right now?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, slathered up, Oh goodness everywhere, a little sweet,

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Speaker 1: oh goodness, great, delicious, well roasted, lots of meat, pit roasted.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what's he called us? A spit roasted?

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Speaker 2: Oh god.

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Speaker 1: My friend Mary and I have known each other since

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Speaker 1: we were children. We've grown a part over the past

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Speaker 1: few years, but she still considers me important enough to

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Speaker 1: make me a bridesmaid. I hope she, like Opie says

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Speaker 1: that she still considers me important enough.

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Speaker 2: Yeah important, No, no, no.

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Speaker 1: Her running is set to be in three weeks. One

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Speaker 1: reason though I'd sort of distance myself from her was

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Speaker 1: because of her treatment of my relationship. My boyfriend Jack

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Speaker 1: and I have been together for three and a half years.

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Speaker 1: He's a wonderful person and there's no doubt in my

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Speaker 1: mind that this is the man that I want to marry.

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Speaker 1: But Mary is under the impression that Jack is too

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Speaker 1: good for me.

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Speaker 2: Aren't you usually gassing your friends up?

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Speaker 1: You know, like, oh my god. If anything, people say like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're too good for him, honey, like you can do

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Speaker 1: so much better, or like you're good for each other. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe, like you found love. Maybe it's a

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Speaker 1: tough love approach, like well, it's actually not that he sucks,

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Speaker 1: it's that you suck. You find to saying you sucked.

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Speaker 1: That's so you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

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Speaker 2: The tough love like, hey, instead of your highlights look great,

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Speaker 2: like you look like a dumpster fire.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, instead of like you have such a great personality,

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Speaker 1: you have the personality of a plank of wood that

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Speaker 1: I want to burn.

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Speaker 2: Of course, just preparing you for the real world. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And a good friend doesn't lie to you exactly.

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Speaker 1: They'll say stuff like I hate you, yeah, and everything

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Speaker 1: about you.

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Speaker 2: And that's the truth.

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Speaker 1: And that's the truth.

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Speaker 2: I'm just speaking. That's true.

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Speaker 1: And not only do I hate you, but your boyfriend

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Speaker 1: probably hates you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's why I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You just shouldn't be with him. He's just he's just

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Speaker 1: way too good, honestly, like way too good, like so good,

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Speaker 1: like oh oh.

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Speaker 2: Kind of really amazing. It hits me in different places.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like like like in my in my stummy, he's

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Speaker 1: just rearranging all my organs on a daily basis, in.

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Speaker 2: My sausage hole, in my special delivery. That comes from

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Speaker 2: a very wealthy background. His parents are certainly very wealthy.

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Speaker 2: He was practically guaranteed a lavish life from the moment

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Speaker 2: that he left the womb. Jeeves, give me my baby cigar.

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Speaker 2: Come in, yeah, Jeeves, and these baby shoes are too

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Speaker 2: tired to walk in, Kenny me, except he's like thirty.

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Speaker 3: Kenny me, Jeeves. I need to be bumped, Jeeves. I

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Speaker 3: need my royal scepter to be polished. Please get to work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you know what that means.

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Speaker 1: That means, Jeeves, Jeeves, I don't want to do that.

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Speaker 1: I say, can you take it for me and do

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Speaker 1: a little misdoubt fire, Except instead of dressing like an

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Speaker 1: old woman, I want you to dress like me.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: This is in stark contrast to my childhood when the

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Speaker 1: police would come and arrest me on a daily belliate

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Speaker 1: in the night because I was a lady of the

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Speaker 1: lady of the night, Officer, officer, Do you need any

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Speaker 1: any help over me?

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Speaker 2: Here?

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Speaker 1: Can I give you a hand?

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Speaker 2: Can I give you my jeeves? Jeeves do my dirty work.

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Speaker 1: This is a stark contrast to my childhood. I grew

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Speaker 1: up in a low income neighborhood, often wondering where my

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Speaker 1: next meal was or how I was going to help

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Speaker 1: pay the bills at a young age, et cetera. I'm

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Speaker 1: grateful and proud for where I am today. Nice I

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Speaker 1: like it. Ope, it sounds like you pulled yourself up

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Speaker 1: from your bootstress right where Jack couldn't even tell his

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Speaker 1: boot from his freaking royal scepter.

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Speaker 2: He was doing, Jack Diddley that he was the only

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Speaker 2: thing he was doing was jeeves.

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Speaker 1: Jeeves.

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Speaker 3: Polish that royal scepter now, Master, No, it was already

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Speaker 3: polished two hours ago. This is more that can swallow

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Speaker 3: it got dirty jeeves.

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Speaker 1: Jack is also considered to be conventionally attractive, always looking

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Speaker 1: like he should be on some magazine or billboard somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Oh but it sounds like you just freaking hit gold

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Speaker 1: right Hereacious. Jack's good looks and background have led Mary

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Speaker 1: to believe that Jack deserves better than me, as according

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Speaker 1: to her, there's no way I could have pulled someone

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Speaker 1: so attractive and so rich.

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Speaker 2: Again, just just what a what a kind hearted friend?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: Someone have friends like that? Why do you need emies?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Seriously, holy shit, she's like she is Apparently she is mean.

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Speaker 1: Here's my question.

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Speaker 2: When someone says that something like that to you, even

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Speaker 2: just one, two, three times, don't you stop being friends

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Speaker 2: with them?

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Speaker 1: I cannot imagine being friends with someone that was like

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Speaker 1: like that said that seriously to me? And also, why

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Speaker 1: is that? If that person true, he believes that, why

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Speaker 1: is that person friends with you?

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Speaker 2: Why?

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Speaker 1: It doesn't make anything other than to have a punching bag. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe that's it. Maybe this, this freaking freaking Mary

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Speaker 1: just wants to go Mike Tyson on your and just

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Speaker 1: pummel your self esteem off and beat you to smithereens,

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Speaker 1: eat it, poop it out, and then put that poop

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Speaker 1: on top of you.

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Speaker 2: Delicious.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty disheartening to hear those things constantly, and it

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Speaker 1: does take a toll on you. And the friendship. No

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Speaker 1: fucking shit shit yeah, yeah, oh pee, you do not

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Speaker 1: have to take this. Whenever Jack is around, she's quite

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Speaker 1: polite and respectful, never once making those comments. And then

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Speaker 1: eventually the comment stopped. Mmm, okay, okay, at least they stop.

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Speaker 1: But still I'm looking at the whole history of the

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Speaker 1: friends that I'm like, bro, I it's sus it's us,

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Speaker 1: It's it's us for sure. Mary invited me to lunch

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Speaker 1: with our fiance and his friend Gary. From the moment

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Speaker 1: I arrived, Mary and her fiance were consumed in their

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Speaker 1: own conversation, paying no attention to the both of us.

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Speaker 1: It was fine, as Gary seemed to be a great

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Speaker 1: lad in a great chat. He asked me why I

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Speaker 1: was single, and I told him that I was actually

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Speaker 1: in a happy, committed relationship. Gary, where are you getting

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Speaker 1: this bad info? Yeah? He was taken aback by my answer.

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Speaker 1: He told me that Mary had set up a blind

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Speaker 1: double dat of sorts for the both of us. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, she's like, I think, actually, h this guy

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Speaker 1: would be great. Gary's a little bit more of your

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Speaker 1: own speed, you know, like ugly and poor.

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Speaker 2: He's got this drooling thing like he just constantly salivates

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Speaker 2: all over himself.

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Speaker 1: You can get past that and go to his personality.

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Speaker 1: That sucks too, And I think you would be perfect.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. He's not quite as terrible as you, but

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Speaker 2: he's the best I could find. Yeah, closest.

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Speaker 1: I really had to dive into the dumpster for this one.

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Speaker 1: But I think you guys will be very unhappy together.

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Speaker 2: Just the opposite of a good friend in every way. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also, like, how was she pitched to Gary?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 1: Op? Was it? Like? Hey, I also I have this friend.

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Speaker 1: She's she's terrible.

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Speaker 2: I got this fart sack of a woman. Yeah, she

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Speaker 2: would be great for you.

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Speaker 1: She's currently dating someone that's really like amazing, But honestly,

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Speaker 1: he's going to go out of the picture at any moment. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it looks like she just completely just like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: shouldn't tell him anything. Yeah, my god, he was taken

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Speaker 1: aback by man, so he told her was a blind date.

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Speaker 1: I was very confused and slightly angry. I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be confrontational at lunch, especially in public, so I

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Speaker 1: just carried on with lunch. Luckily, Gary wasn't upset and

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Speaker 1: ended up making a few jokes about the whole ordeal.

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Speaker 1: So it seems like Gary's pretty chill.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's good. Well.

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Speaker 1: I called Mary later on in the day and asked

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Speaker 1: her a ton of questions about why she thought it

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Speaker 1: was okay to do that. Yes, it's not okay. Why

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Speaker 1: in no world is this okay? At first she tried

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Speaker 1: to deny it, but then she tried to justify it

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Speaker 1: by saying, Gary is a man who's more in my league.

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Speaker 1: If Opie's person is okay being with Ope, then it's fine.

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Speaker 2: What do you care? What do you care rather than

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Speaker 2: you care.

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Speaker 1: About the guy that saucge Oh god, she wants to

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Speaker 1: So Jack is the boyfriend. I think she knows who

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Speaker 1: she wants to Jack?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Jack and and jack off?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the butler Jeeves Jeeves Jeeves.

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Speaker 1: Gary is a man who's more in my league, and

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Speaker 1: since he was also a groomsman, we needed to get

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Speaker 1: to know each other better. I was shocked by her bluntons,

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Speaker 1: so I just told her I didn't want to be

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Speaker 1: her bridesmaid anymore, which, thank the Lord, a long time coming.

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Speaker 1: I like it, Like, who freaking does that does that

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Speaker 1: to you? It was a pretty impulsive decision, but I

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Speaker 1: still stand by it as you should and don't take

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Speaker 1: like like your friends are supposed to be your friends

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Speaker 1: and supposed to hype you, like hype you up.

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Speaker 2: They're supposed to build you up as yeah.

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Speaker 1: To make you think that you're more than you are, Like,

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Speaker 1: that's a good friend. A friend is like no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: not only can you be better, but I believe that

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Speaker 1: you are like the best version of yourself and you

200
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Speaker 1: can continue to improve to support that. Mary didn't take

201
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,000
Speaker 1: it well. She tried to apologize and said it was

202
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,720
Speaker 1: a mistake. And it's been a few days and her

203
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,960
Speaker 1: fiance has been texting me asking me to suck it

204
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,079
Speaker 1: up for the wedding. I feel pretty conflicted right now.

205
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Speaker 1: So what do you think?

206
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:12,640
Speaker 2: Like?

207
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,040
Speaker 1: Is Op the a hole? Is Mary the a hole?

208
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,400
Speaker 1: What do you think about? I don't know this Jack

209
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,240
Speaker 1: character that's so good looking and so rich? Oh god,

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Speaker 1: what would you do in this situation if your friend

211
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Speaker 1: said to you about your partner or significant other, or

212
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,520
Speaker 1: even if like you have this crush yeah, and let's

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00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,719
Speaker 1: like like like even if it's like Tom Holland is

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Speaker 1: your crush or something like, oh man, I got to

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Speaker 1: crush on Tom Holland. I hope he notices me. I

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Speaker 1: don't even think I would say, like, oh, Tom Holland's

217
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,080
Speaker 1: too good for you. Yeah, but what would you do?

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Speaker 1: What would you do if your friend said your crush

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00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,200
Speaker 1: or your significant other was too good for you and

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Speaker 1: you should try someone a little bit within your own league?

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Speaker 1: Put your answers, what you would say in the comments?

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Speaker 1: But John, what do you think?

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Speaker 2: I mean? It's just like again one of those clear

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Speaker 2: cut cases of like, no, no one in their right

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Speaker 2: mind would ever even even you know what, I could

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Speaker 2: give it to to the friend, even if maybe she

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Speaker 2: thinks that, you know, okay whatever, never ever act out

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Speaker 2: and speak out on it and just try to find

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Speaker 2: way find other ways to build up your friend, Like

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Speaker 2: that's what friendship is about.

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Speaker 1: And also there are more reasons that people are together

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Speaker 1: other than money and looks. Yes, right, And so to

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Speaker 1: think that all like better cars for one, gay boom houses,

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Speaker 1: marriage with no pre nups.

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Speaker 2: Yes, tropical island vacations.

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Speaker 1: Face plant surgery, you know, just just take his face,

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Speaker 1: put it on yours, to take your face put it

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Speaker 1: on his, you probably will be more matched in terms

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Speaker 1: of good looks. Not psychopathic at all, No, No, just

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Speaker 1: do a little handibal lecture and you're going to get that,

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Speaker 1: you know, handble elector to uh get out of prison.

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Speaker 1: He steal he like cuts the f off a guard

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Speaker 1: and puts it on and it goes like.

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Speaker 2: This, oh like Dwighton did.

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Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, that's a reference to handile elected.

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Speaker 2: Ah. I don't watch movies.

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Speaker 1: So what would you say to to to Mary.

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Speaker 2: I would say, I'm not your friend anymore, and you

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Speaker 2: shouldn't do this to anyone again. And that's what you

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Speaker 2: should do too.

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Speaker 1: Don't take it from anyone. Have good friends around you

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Speaker 1: you deserve, like you deserve, but like people support you,

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Speaker 1: and if people aren't like supporting you, then you should

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Speaker 1: probably not have them in your life. And like sometimes

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Speaker 1: you need tough love for sure, Like if you're addicted

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Speaker 1: to crystal meth, like a good friend will probably be like, yo,

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Speaker 1: like I don't think you're you're achieving your potential, but

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Speaker 1: not be the coolest thing to do. Yeah exactly, that's

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Speaker 1: exactly what they would be saying. Or they would be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: like if you sell it, maybe you can make money

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Speaker 1: breaking bad too. But yeah, good friends support you and

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Speaker 1: and try to help you become the best version of yourself.

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Speaker 2: End of story.

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Speaker 1: And if store so, get more of those friends. So you.

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Speaker 2: Today, I effed up by turning eleven dollars in bitcoin

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Speaker 2: to four point five million dollars then throwing it in

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Speaker 2: a landfill.

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Speaker 1: See that was the greatest investment of all time, and

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Speaker 1: then you just trashed it.

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Speaker 2: Now the landfill is four point five million, Richard.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, if you're ever sifting through that landfill, you know,

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Speaker 1: make that drive.

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Speaker 2: So this f up started around eleven years ago when

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Speaker 2: I was a poor college student.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's start from the very beginning. Eleven years ago.

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Speaker 1: That's like the beginning of bitcoin. It was the dawn

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Speaker 1: of time, the dawn of a new era.

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Speaker 2: I had just enough money to survive on or at

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Speaker 2: least the student definition of surviving. I had a hugely

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Speaker 2: overinflated sense of how intelligent I was, rare for someone

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Speaker 2: on reddits.

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Speaker 1: I know, to be fair, you have to have a

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Speaker 1: severely high AQ to understand Rick and Morty.

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Speaker 2: I am poisoned with a beautiful mind that you cannot come.

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Speaker 1: You cannot comprehend the depths, the inn machinations of my mind.

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Speaker 2: I thought, instead of getting a part time job, I

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Speaker 2: would make some money the good old fashioned way on

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Speaker 2: the internet.

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Speaker 1: Baby, that's the best way to make money, you know,

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Speaker 1: a straight straight ty lo pesident. Yeah, I'm out here

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Speaker 1: on my garage books. Yeah, you know what's better than

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Speaker 1: these Lamborghinis, nalage.

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Speaker 2: I'm smart enough, so why not try it? So I

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Speaker 2: set up a few web pages with the sketchiest of

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Speaker 2: ad networks. Now, I ran these sketchy web pages as

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Speaker 2: best I could, which, to be fair, earned me a

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Speaker 2: few hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: Let's go. And that's actually pretty good, dude.

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Speaker 2: That is pretty good. And I also came across a

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Speaker 2: thing called bitcoin.

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Speaker 1: Bitcoin, which is this what is the thing technology?

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Speaker 2: And people were giving them away for free on some websites.

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Speaker 1: Really that's so nuts, dude, dude, that is crazy in

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Speaker 1: the day wild West of bitcoin. It's like bitcoin was

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Speaker 1: like what like a cent or something. I mean in

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Speaker 1: the beginning, like it had to be like nothing, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was nothing.

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Speaker 2: Like It's it's almost as crazy as an amazing platform

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Speaker 2: like cou coin giving away money, like as much as

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Speaker 2: five hundred dollars. Here they do, hey, yeah, they do.

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Speaker 2: Everything I read about them said they were going to

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Speaker 2: be the next big thing. So awesome. I'll get some

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Speaker 2: of those myself. Fill those virtual pockets to number. Over

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Speaker 2: the course of one semester, I had gotten around one

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Speaker 2: hundred and fifty bitcoins too.

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Speaker 1: That's so many.

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Speaker 2: That's so many, which, Sam, Are you ready for the

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Speaker 2: grand reveal? Yea, the price it was? Are you really ready?

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Speaker 2: I'm ready. I'm ready, solely prepared.

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Speaker 1: My soul hurts not having bought bitcoins so many years ago,

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Speaker 1: but I'm ready to hear the number now.

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Speaker 2: These one hundred and fifty bitcoins at the time were

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Speaker 2: worth eleven dollars.

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Speaker 1: That's not that much. But now they're worth.

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Speaker 2: Like four point five million dollars.

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Speaker 1: That is an increase in price, dude, according to my calculations.

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Speaker 2: That's that's an investment. What a waste of effing time.

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Speaker 2: These things weren't exploding like they were supposed to. So

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Speaker 2: back to my much better betting and awesome trademark websites.

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Speaker 1: Wait betting site okay, so so gambling.

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Speaker 2: Gambling and awesome trademark which awesome awesome trademarks. Those bitcoins

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Speaker 2: were stored on my laptop. I upgraded my laptop the

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Speaker 2: following semester with more RAM and a bigger super fast

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Speaker 2: hard drive, and I wrote a little sarcastic note to

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Speaker 2: myself about the bitcoins and folded it over my old

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Speaker 2: hard drive.

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Speaker 1: That is the least secure way to keep track of

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Speaker 1: your bitcoin.

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Speaker 2: Dude.

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Speaker 1: If you spill a little bit of coffee on your

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Speaker 1: little post it note, you can't read the numbers anymore,

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Speaker 1: you're done, exactly.

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Speaker 2: Like, basically, that sticky note means he lost it all,

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Speaker 2: and he never would have lost that bitcoin if he

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Speaker 2: had just used coup coin. Two coins the way to go, exactly.

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Speaker 2: And they're giving away five hundred dollars to one person

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Speaker 2: that signs up five hundred spack of rounds and you

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Speaker 2: can earn up just sixty percent interest, Like, it's a

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Speaker 2: no brainer to join.

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Speaker 1: That five hundred turns into more than five hundred.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, So join with our biolink for a chance

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Speaker 2: to win that five hundred smack of rooms. Baby. Now,

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Speaker 2: that was the last time I paid attention to bitcoin,

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Speaker 2: but it was not long before I graduated and started

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Speaker 2: earning some decent ish money. Congratso Pe making his way

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Speaker 2: in this world. Fast forward to last month, and I'm

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Speaker 2: moving to a smaller apartment in a more expensive area

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Speaker 2: and had to be really picky about what I could

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Speaker 2: bring with me. I had an old box of PC

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Speaker 2: parts and had a quick look through and marveled at

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Speaker 2: the two hundred and fifty six megabyte ramsticks and the

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Speaker 2: forty gigabyte hard drives. You know, even had a few

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Speaker 2: floppy discs, like just some archaic, ancient, ancient knowlogy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is ancient alien stuff right here.

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Speaker 2: It might as well just have hieroglyphics gritting on. I mean,

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Speaker 2: this is just useless. All of it was completely worthless

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Speaker 2: with today's hardware. So in the trash it went.

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Speaker 1: Wellch You know, if you're like following Marie Condo, what

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Speaker 1: does like what actually sparks joy? Maybe none of that

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00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,840
Speaker 1: stuff sparks joy, and he wanted to get rid of it.

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Speaker 2: You know what sparks joy? Four point five million dollars, bro,

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling joyful now. I use that box to pack

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Speaker 2: some stuff in and move to my new apartment a

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Speaker 2: few days later, and because of my severe laziness, several

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Speaker 2: boxes remained full of stuff for weeks. On end tonight,

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Speaker 2: after a four hour Reddit session, I unpacked one of

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Speaker 2: those boxes and I found a little scrap of paper,

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Speaker 2: and you know what that scrap of paper said, Sam,

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Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty bitcoin roughly equals eleven dollars Monkey

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Speaker 2: seven seven.

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Speaker 1: Four three one, Monkey seven seven.

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Speaker 2: Four three one. That was the key to the kingdom.

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Speaker 2: I chuckled to myself for a split second before realizing

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Speaker 2: that bitcoin is worth a fair bit more today, fair bit,

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Speaker 2: fair bit, a fair bit. And at this point I panic.

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Speaker 2: I've been googling for hours and hours, but it seems

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Speaker 2: I'm totally eft and the bitcoins are gone.

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Speaker 1: That is the most heartbreaking thing ever to like know

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Speaker 1: that you had millions of dollars and then realize that

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Speaker 1: one dumb mistake cost you four point five million dollars.

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Speaker 2: Bro, It's like hard to fathom that we can make

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Speaker 2: mistakes that well, Like, usually a mistake is something like

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Speaker 2: I decided to, uh, you know, let someone stay in

394
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Speaker 2: my house and they trashed a place, or of like,

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Speaker 2: oh I should have trusted. This is literally just like

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Speaker 2: I just wrote a sticky note and I just tossed something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and hear like like that mistake is like life

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Speaker 1: changing money.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. I mean never would have to work

400
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 2: a day.

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00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 1: If you put that four point five million dollars in

402
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:50,120
Speaker 1: cou Cooin sixty percent, Apy stop sixty percent.

403
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:51,040
Speaker 2: Stop it.

404
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,800
Speaker 1: That's like two million, over two million dollars.

405
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Speaker 2: You could have had it all. Sorry, you suck