WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: Should I Dump my Partner for a Co-Worker?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached

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<v Speaker 1>my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here

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<v Speaker 1>to give you a device on anything and everything you

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<v Speaker 1>need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or

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<v Speaker 1>having issues with your family, or maybe you have a

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<v Speaker 1>question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts

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<v Speaker 1>in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious

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<v Speaker 1>issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at

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<v Speaker 1>the sound of the beab.

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<v Speaker 2>Him Cheeky's. I just wanted to see what your point

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<v Speaker 2>of view out of this was. So. I was previously

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<v Speaker 2>married for kick teen years. We got two beautiful kids

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<v Speaker 2>out of that relationship. We've had a very good co

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<v Speaker 2>parenting up until recently. He started a relationship was like

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<v Speaker 2>expected to happen, Like I told him, I wanted him

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<v Speaker 2>to be happy like regardless with anybody he was with.

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<v Speaker 2>But the person that he's with now doesn't want him

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<v Speaker 2>to have a relationship with his kids or anything. And

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<v Speaker 2>he sent a message to my son's cell phone saying

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<v Speaker 2>that he wanted to give me more custody. Should I

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<v Speaker 2>just do it? Or what do you think I should do?

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<v Speaker 2>What should I recommend me to do? I'm like lost

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<v Speaker 2>right now. I don't know what to do, like going

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<v Speaker 2>back and forth. I feel bad. I feel sad for

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<v Speaker 2>my kids because they're fifteen and sixteen. Now I know

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<v Speaker 2>they're older, they understand more, but like, I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>it's hard because their dad's always been in their life

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<v Speaker 2>and for him to just walk out for another girl,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I mean, I feel like that's where I can't

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<v Speaker 2>put my head around it. Like it's just very awkward.

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<v Speaker 2>Now there's like no coe parentee, no nothing since he

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<v Speaker 2>started this relationship, so it's kind of hard. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Please tell me your thoughts.

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta take a deep breath because I'm very upset.

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<v Speaker 1>But the look, I know it's hard and it hurts

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<v Speaker 1>you for your children. But excuse my language, fuck this

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<v Speaker 1>guy because I'm sorry, what an idiot And I usually

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<v Speaker 1>don't speak this way, especially because I don't know this person,

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm sorry if he's texting his son and saying

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<v Speaker 1>that he basically wants to give up custody and wants

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<v Speaker 1>nothing to do with his kids say, what are you thinking?

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<v Speaker 1>And I always say this, and I have such a

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<v Speaker 1>problem with women that come into men's lives and they

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<v Speaker 1>try to conquer and divide, Like how how can he

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<v Speaker 1>even think this is a good woman to be with

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<v Speaker 1>if she doesn't want him to be close to his kids?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you kidding me? This is a disaster waiting to happen.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you need to get full custody. Get your

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<v Speaker 1>children far away from this guy. If he doesn't want

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<v Speaker 1>to be in their lives right now, fine, goodbye, good riddance.

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<v Speaker 1>Get them baybi in Save your children and their hearts.

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<v Speaker 1>It's going to hurt. Put them into therapy, give them

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<v Speaker 1>lots of love, be there for them, be the mother

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<v Speaker 1>and the father. That's what my mother was, and SAVISKI.

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<v Speaker 1>For a long time, I was completely fine, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>still fine to this point, to this day. I was

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<v Speaker 1>fine because I had such a great mother who was

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<v Speaker 1>my mother and my father. You know, she was tough,

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<v Speaker 1>but I didn't miss my dad. So especially if he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to be in their lives, fine, bye, he

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<v Speaker 1>will come back. He will come crawling back. And then

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<v Speaker 1>that's bridge that you'll cry when you get there and

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<v Speaker 1>it'll be your children's decision, but he'll have to deal

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<v Speaker 1>with it with the consequences, and he is going to

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<v Speaker 1>miss out. So if I were you, I would say, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna give you what you want. God bless you

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<v Speaker 1>take his ass to court if you do want full custody.

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<v Speaker 1>But he still needs to be responsible in some way financially.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a whole other story. But ooh, this man pissed

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<v Speaker 1>me off. Oh my gosh, Sorry, guys, it's just breathe, Patty.

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<v Speaker 1>I am sending you and your children a big hug.

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<v Speaker 1>It's okay. It's gonna be fine. They have a great mother.

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<v Speaker 1>They're not even gonna miss your dad. Maybe for a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit. It's gonna be tough, but it's gonna be fine.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, guys, let's move on to the next question,

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<v Speaker 1>comes from Karina.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, Cheeky's I am really excited to be doing this.

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<v Speaker 4>I am.

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<v Speaker 3>First of all, I'm a huge fan. I love you.

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<v Speaker 3>You're such an inspiration to latinas and I love what

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<v Speaker 3>you sand for. I love everything about you. You're such

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<v Speaker 3>a wonderful person. But I need your help. I wanted

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<v Speaker 3>to see your input in work relationships. Unfortunately I want

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<v Speaker 3>to say it, but yes, I am going to attend

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<v Speaker 3>your relationship and I found some one at work that

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<v Speaker 3>I really like. But I'm wanting to get your input.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you think work relationship is just a passive thing

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<v Speaker 3>or do you think that it could actually grow into something?

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<v Speaker 3>And when do you think it will be like the

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<v Speaker 3>right time to like separate myself from my current relationship

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<v Speaker 3>or when do you think you it will be a

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<v Speaker 3>time where I could be like, Okay, I know what

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<v Speaker 3>I want your honest opinion.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Karina, First of all, thank you for all the

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful things you said, thank you for your support, thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for sending me your question, and you did say

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<v Speaker 1>you wanted my honest opinion, so I'm going to be honest.

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<v Speaker 1>You're playing with fire, Karina. If you are in a

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<v Speaker 1>ten year relationship and you are happy, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>You didn't tell me all that. If you're happy, it's

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<v Speaker 1>not worth it for a little fling, because if you

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<v Speaker 1>guys are working together, that's going to get very sticky

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<v Speaker 1>and very boring very quickly. You and this other person, right,

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<v Speaker 1>because working with the person, living with the person, being

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<v Speaker 1>with the person is just that's just too much. You

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<v Speaker 1>guys need some type of like breather in space. So

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<v Speaker 1>it might be fun and exciting right now, especially when

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<v Speaker 1>something is forbidden, it's more exciting, right People get a

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<v Speaker 1>kick out of that, and I think that's probably what

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<v Speaker 1>you're feeling right now. But I don't think it's the

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<v Speaker 1>right decision, especially if you are in a relationship already.

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<v Speaker 1>You're starting this off, you would start it off on

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<v Speaker 1>the wrong foot. And anything that starts off on the

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<v Speaker 1>wrong foot will end on the wrong foot. Trust me,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, been there, done that. If you are not

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<v Speaker 1>happy in your current relationship, then you need to end

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<v Speaker 1>that first, and not end it because you want to

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<v Speaker 1>be with someone else. End it because you're not happy

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<v Speaker 1>because it's not working out, because of whatever the reasons

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<v Speaker 1>may be. But you really need to weigh things out.

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<v Speaker 1>You need to put things on scale because it might

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<v Speaker 1>be something that you can regret very quickly. This other

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<v Speaker 1>person might seem exciting and it's something new and this

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<v Speaker 1>and that like that only goes so far. So you

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<v Speaker 1>got to really think and pray about this one, babe,

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<v Speaker 1>because in my opinion, your playing with fired and you

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<v Speaker 1>got to be careful with that. Because you will get burned.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's my honest opinion, and I hope it helps,

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<v Speaker 1>and I hope you make the right decision for yourself

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<v Speaker 1>and also of course for your partner. Just end that

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<v Speaker 1>before you start something.

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<v Speaker 3>New, babe.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, guys, oh wow, our next question comes from

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<v Speaker 1>it says your secret admirer.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, let's see, Hey, beautiful, I know that you're recently married,

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<v Speaker 4>but I was wondering if you've ever thought about marrying

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<v Speaker 4>a woman before. Love you bad damn girl.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys, this episode is hot. Okay, well, secret admire

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<v Speaker 1>I will be honest. Yeah, if you would ask me

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<v Speaker 1>this question ten years ago, probably i'd be like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I definitely want to be with the girl. I see

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<v Speaker 1>myself with the girl. I'd be happy with the girl.

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<v Speaker 1>Wouldn't mind marrying a girl. And yes, I am recently

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<v Speaker 1>married and I'm very happily married, thank god. And I've

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<v Speaker 1>said this on the podcast a lot, guys. I was

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<v Speaker 1>like fifteen percent, twenty percent, you know, lesbian, gay, whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's gone away. I feel I know that sounds funny,

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<v Speaker 1>but I feel like I don't know. I'm happy in

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<v Speaker 1>my relationship. I'm satisfied, and I'm good. I've always been

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<v Speaker 1>honest with the media. He's from the very beginning. I said,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be so freaking honest with him about everything

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<v Speaker 1>good to the bad, the ugly, and he knows all

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<v Speaker 1>of this. But yeah, I mean I thought about it

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<v Speaker 1>once in my life. So yeah, thank you for your question,

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<v Speaker 1>my secret admire I hope you are doing well. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sending you a big hug. Okay, guys, last question comes

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<v Speaker 1>from vat.

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<v Speaker 5>Hi Cheeky's how are you? I would like some advice

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<v Speaker 5>regarding making peace with the past version of yourself and

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<v Speaker 5>just giving yourself grace and compassion. So a little bit

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<v Speaker 5>about my situation. I am twenty four years old and

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<v Speaker 5>I've struggled with my mental health for many years now.

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<v Speaker 5>I actually had one of the worst years of my

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<v Speaker 5>life last years, and it got so bad that I

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<v Speaker 5>even had considered taking my own life away, but nevertheless,

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<v Speaker 5>I decided to invest at all and just do the

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<v Speaker 5>work I was healing. I was going to therapy, getting medicated,

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<v Speaker 5>reading the Bible, really getting in tune with myself. But

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<v Speaker 5>in that process, I've been alone. Prior to me doing

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<v Speaker 5>the work, I just have lost a lot of friends

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<v Speaker 5>and lost a very important relationship in my life. So

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<v Speaker 5>I just can't help but feel that I'm paying some

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<v Speaker 5>type of karma and I feel like I'm not worthy

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<v Speaker 5>of the change moving forward. And I just want to

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<v Speaker 5>get out of that mindset and mentality because I know

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<v Speaker 5>that I have much more to give. But yeah, I

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<v Speaker 5>just feel like my past I've been a people pleaser,

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<v Speaker 5>so I'm just stuck in that mindset of I did

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<v Speaker 5>something wrong to them, and I just don't deserve to

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<v Speaker 5>be happy. So if you have any advice, I would

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<v Speaker 5>appreciate it a lot. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, bed First of all, I'm so proud

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<v Speaker 1>of you, so proud of you for being so young

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<v Speaker 1>and doing the work, because you would be surprised. There

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<v Speaker 1>are people that are a lot older than you that

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<v Speaker 1>don't have the willpower to do it and you have.

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<v Speaker 1>And you should be proud of yourself, and you should

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<v Speaker 1>give yourself a pat on the back. And one thing

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<v Speaker 1>that you will learn right now. You're young, but you

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<v Speaker 1>seem to be like a very mature and wise young

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<v Speaker 1>lady from hearing you out. But one thing that you

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<v Speaker 1>will see is that there are seasons in our lives,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're meant to evolve and to grow and to

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<v Speaker 1>become the best versions of ourselves, especially when you are

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<v Speaker 1>seeking it the way you are. And with that also

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<v Speaker 1>comes shedding and people that were in your life with

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<v Speaker 1>the last version of yourself, maybe the unhealthier version of yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's say, right, those people will stay there and they

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<v Speaker 1>are not meant to come with you on this new

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<v Speaker 1>and brighter and happier journey of becoming who you're meant

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<v Speaker 1>to become. So don't look at it like you are

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<v Speaker 1>losing these people and you are not worthy of love,

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<v Speaker 1>because you absolutely are. What you're doing is you're creating

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<v Speaker 1>space for new people for this new season of your life,

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<v Speaker 1>for people that are going to be on the same

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<v Speaker 1>energy level, the same frequency as you are, the same wavelength,

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<v Speaker 1>all those things. Like you have to know right now

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<v Speaker 1>it might feel a little lonely, but you're never alone

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<v Speaker 1>and you have to know that and just be patient

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<v Speaker 1>the right people will come into your life. Just know

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<v Speaker 1>that those people are probably not meant to come with

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<v Speaker 1>you on this next cycle, in this next chapter of

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<v Speaker 1>your life. And I just talked about this on one

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<v Speaker 1>of my episodes on Cheeky's and chill about being okay

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<v Speaker 1>with losing the right people. It hurts and it's uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>But if they were happy for you, if they loved

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<v Speaker 1>you and were supporting one hundred percent of who you

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<v Speaker 1>want to become, because you're happier than they would stay.

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<v Speaker 1>If they don't, it's because they're not the right people

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<v Speaker 1>for you. So you got to be okay with that.

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<v Speaker 1>And you're young, and I get it. But keep going

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<v Speaker 1>to church, keep healing yourself, and you will see little

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<v Speaker 1>by little. You don't want a lot of people. You

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<v Speaker 1>want the right people in your life, even if it's

0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:01.080
<v Speaker 1>two or three people, but as long as you know

0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:04.559
<v Speaker 1>they're the right people. So be proud, be proud of

0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:09.920
<v Speaker 1>yourself because you're definitely doing hard work, work that people

0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:13.880
<v Speaker 1>go their whole lifetime not able to do or they

0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:17.079
<v Speaker 1>don't have the willpower, and you're doing it. So I'm

0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:17.640
<v Speaker 1>very proud of you.

0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 4>Vity And.

0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 1>Just be patient, be patient to give yourself grace and

0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:25.760
<v Speaker 1>everything will be okay. All right, guys. Well, this concludes

0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:29.240
<v Speaker 1>our episode, this episode of Dear Cheeky's. Thank you guys

0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:32.640
<v Speaker 1>for listening. I hope that even if it isn't your

0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.440
<v Speaker 1>question that I'm answering, that you can learn something and

0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:38.400
<v Speaker 1>grow from some of the device that I'm giving and

0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:40.680
<v Speaker 1>the questions that people are asking, And if you have

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:43.960
<v Speaker 1>a question, definitely leave it. I would love to help

0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:45.520
<v Speaker 1>you in any way that I can and give you

0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:47.959
<v Speaker 1>the best advice from the bottom of my heart. Leave

0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 1>your question at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill

0:13:50.840 --> 0:14:00.160
<v Speaker 1>podcast Asia. This is a production of iHeartRadio and the

0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:03.880
<v Speaker 1>Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael

0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:07.079
<v Speaker 1>Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h I

0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:10.600
<v Speaker 1>q U i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit

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<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:15.199
<v Speaker 1>your favorite podcast