Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached
Speaker 1: my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here
Speaker 1: to give you a device on anything and everything you
Speaker 1: need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or
Speaker 1: having issues with your family, or maybe you have a
Speaker 1: question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I
Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts
Speaker 1: in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious
Speaker 1: issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.
Speaker 1: All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at
Speaker 1: the sound of the beab.
Speaker 2: Him Cheeky's. I just wanted to see what your point
Speaker 2: of view out of this was. So. I was previously
Speaker 2: married for kick teen years. We got two beautiful kids
Speaker 2: out of that relationship. We've had a very good co
Speaker 2: parenting up until recently. He started a relationship was like
Speaker 2: expected to happen, Like I told him, I wanted him
Speaker 2: to be happy like regardless with anybody he was with.
Speaker 2: But the person that he's with now doesn't want him
Speaker 2: to have a relationship with his kids or anything. And
Speaker 2: he sent a message to my son's cell phone saying
Speaker 2: that he wanted to give me more custody. Should I
Speaker 2: just do it? Or what do you think I should do?
Speaker 2: What should I recommend me to do? I'm like lost
Speaker 2: right now. I don't know what to do, like going
Speaker 2: back and forth. I feel bad. I feel sad for
Speaker 2: my kids because they're fifteen and sixteen. Now I know
Speaker 2: they're older, they understand more, but like, I feel like
Speaker 2: it's hard because their dad's always been in their life
Speaker 2: and for him to just walk out for another girl,
Speaker 2: Like I mean, I feel like that's where I can't
Speaker 2: put my head around it. Like it's just very awkward.
Speaker 2: Now there's like no coe parentee, no nothing since he
Speaker 2: started this relationship, so it's kind of hard. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Please tell me your thoughts.
Speaker 1: I gotta take a deep breath because I'm very upset.
Speaker 1: But the look, I know it's hard and it hurts
Speaker 1: you for your children. But excuse my language, fuck this
Speaker 1: guy because I'm sorry, what an idiot And I usually
Speaker 1: don't speak this way, especially because I don't know this person,
Speaker 1: But I'm sorry if he's texting his son and saying
Speaker 1: that he basically wants to give up custody and wants
Speaker 1: nothing to do with his kids say, what are you thinking?
Speaker 1: And I always say this, and I have such a
Speaker 1: problem with women that come into men's lives and they
Speaker 1: try to conquer and divide, Like how how can he
Speaker 1: even think this is a good woman to be with
Speaker 1: if she doesn't want him to be close to his kids?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? This is a disaster waiting to happen.
Speaker 1: I think you need to get full custody. Get your
Speaker 1: children far away from this guy. If he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to be in their lives right now, fine, goodbye, good riddance.
Speaker 1: Get them baybi in Save your children and their hearts.
Speaker 1: It's going to hurt. Put them into therapy, give them
Speaker 1: lots of love, be there for them, be the mother
Speaker 1: and the father. That's what my mother was, and SAVISKI.
Speaker 1: For a long time, I was completely fine, and I'm
Speaker 1: still fine to this point, to this day. I was
Speaker 1: fine because I had such a great mother who was
Speaker 1: my mother and my father. You know, she was tough,
Speaker 1: but I didn't miss my dad. So especially if he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be in their lives, fine, bye, he
Speaker 1: will come back. He will come crawling back. And then
Speaker 1: that's bridge that you'll cry when you get there and
Speaker 1: it'll be your children's decision, but he'll have to deal
Speaker 1: with it with the consequences, and he is going to
Speaker 1: miss out. So if I were you, I would say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you what you want. God bless you
Speaker 1: take his ass to court if you do want full custody.
Speaker 1: But he still needs to be responsible in some way financially.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's a whole other story. But ooh, this man pissed
Speaker 1: me off. Oh my gosh, Sorry, guys, it's just breathe, Patty.
Speaker 1: I am sending you and your children a big hug.
Speaker 1: It's okay. It's gonna be fine. They have a great mother.
Speaker 1: They're not even gonna miss your dad. Maybe for a
Speaker 1: little bit. It's gonna be tough, but it's gonna be fine.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, let's move on to the next question,
Speaker 1: comes from Karina.
Speaker 3: Hey, Cheeky's I am really excited to be doing this.
Speaker 4: I am.
Speaker 3: First of all, I'm a huge fan. I love you.
Speaker 3: You're such an inspiration to latinas and I love what
Speaker 3: you sand for. I love everything about you. You're such
Speaker 3: a wonderful person. But I need your help. I wanted
Speaker 3: to see your input in work relationships. Unfortunately I want
Speaker 3: to say it, but yes, I am going to attend
Speaker 3: your relationship and I found some one at work that
Speaker 3: I really like. But I'm wanting to get your input.
Speaker 3: Do you think work relationship is just a passive thing
Speaker 3: or do you think that it could actually grow into something?
Speaker 3: And when do you think it will be like the
Speaker 3: right time to like separate myself from my current relationship
Speaker 3: or when do you think you it will be a
Speaker 3: time where I could be like, Okay, I know what
Speaker 3: I want your honest opinion.
Speaker 1: Okay, Karina, First of all, thank you for all the
Speaker 1: beautiful things you said, thank you for your support, thank
Speaker 1: you for sending me your question, and you did say
Speaker 1: you wanted my honest opinion, so I'm going to be honest.
Speaker 1: You're playing with fire, Karina. If you are in a
Speaker 1: ten year relationship and you are happy, I don't know.
Speaker 1: You didn't tell me all that. If you're happy, it's
Speaker 1: not worth it for a little fling, because if you
Speaker 1: guys are working together, that's going to get very sticky
Speaker 1: and very boring very quickly. You and this other person, right,
Speaker 1: because working with the person, living with the person, being
Speaker 1: with the person is just that's just too much. You
Speaker 1: guys need some type of like breather in space. So
Speaker 1: it might be fun and exciting right now, especially when
Speaker 1: something is forbidden, it's more exciting, right People get a
Speaker 1: kick out of that, and I think that's probably what
Speaker 1: you're feeling right now. But I don't think it's the
Speaker 1: right decision, especially if you are in a relationship already.
Speaker 1: You're starting this off, you would start it off on
Speaker 1: the wrong foot. And anything that starts off on the
Speaker 1: wrong foot will end on the wrong foot. Trust me,
Speaker 1: I know, been there, done that. If you are not
Speaker 1: happy in your current relationship, then you need to end
Speaker 1: that first, and not end it because you want to
Speaker 1: be with someone else. End it because you're not happy
Speaker 1: because it's not working out, because of whatever the reasons
Speaker 1: may be. But you really need to weigh things out.
Speaker 1: You need to put things on scale because it might
Speaker 1: be something that you can regret very quickly. This other
Speaker 1: person might seem exciting and it's something new and this
Speaker 1: and that like that only goes so far. So you
Speaker 1: got to really think and pray about this one, babe,
Speaker 1: because in my opinion, your playing with fired and you
Speaker 1: got to be careful with that. Because you will get burned.
Speaker 1: And that's my honest opinion, and I hope it helps,
Speaker 1: and I hope you make the right decision for yourself
Speaker 1: and also of course for your partner. Just end that
Speaker 1: before you start something.
Speaker 3: New, babe.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, guys, oh wow, our next question comes from
Speaker 1: it says your secret admirer.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's see, Hey, beautiful, I know that you're recently married,
Speaker 4: but I was wondering if you've ever thought about marrying
Speaker 4: a woman before. Love you bad damn girl.
Speaker 1: You guys, this episode is hot. Okay, well, secret admire
Speaker 1: I will be honest. Yeah, if you would ask me
Speaker 1: this question ten years ago, probably i'd be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely want to be with the girl. I see
Speaker 1: myself with the girl. I'd be happy with the girl.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't mind marrying a girl. And yes, I am recently
Speaker 1: married and I'm very happily married, thank god. And I've
Speaker 1: said this on the podcast a lot, guys. I was
Speaker 1: like fifteen percent, twenty percent, you know, lesbian, gay, whatever,
Speaker 1: and it's gone away. I feel I know that sounds funny,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I don't know. I'm happy in
Speaker 1: my relationship. I'm satisfied, and I'm good. I've always been
Speaker 1: honest with the media. He's from the very beginning. I said,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be so freaking honest with him about everything
Speaker 1: good to the bad, the ugly, and he knows all
Speaker 1: of this. But yeah, I mean I thought about it
Speaker 1: once in my life. So yeah, thank you for your question,
Speaker 1: my secret admire I hope you are doing well. I'm
Speaker 1: sending you a big hug. Okay, guys, last question comes
Speaker 1: from vat.
Speaker 5: Hi Cheeky's how are you? I would like some advice
Speaker 5: regarding making peace with the past version of yourself and
Speaker 5: just giving yourself grace and compassion. So a little bit
Speaker 5: about my situation. I am twenty four years old and
Speaker 5: I've struggled with my mental health for many years now.
Speaker 5: I actually had one of the worst years of my
Speaker 5: life last years, and it got so bad that I
Speaker 5: even had considered taking my own life away, but nevertheless,
Speaker 5: I decided to invest at all and just do the
Speaker 5: work I was healing. I was going to therapy, getting medicated,
Speaker 5: reading the Bible, really getting in tune with myself. But
Speaker 5: in that process, I've been alone. Prior to me doing
Speaker 5: the work, I just have lost a lot of friends
Speaker 5: and lost a very important relationship in my life. So
Speaker 5: I just can't help but feel that I'm paying some
Speaker 5: type of karma and I feel like I'm not worthy
Speaker 5: of the change moving forward. And I just want to
Speaker 5: get out of that mindset and mentality because I know
Speaker 5: that I have much more to give. But yeah, I
Speaker 5: just feel like my past I've been a people pleaser,
Speaker 5: so I'm just stuck in that mindset of I did
Speaker 5: something wrong to them, and I just don't deserve to
Speaker 5: be happy. So if you have any advice, I would
Speaker 5: appreciate it a lot. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, bed First of all, I'm so proud
Speaker 1: of you, so proud of you for being so young
Speaker 1: and doing the work, because you would be surprised. There
Speaker 1: are people that are a lot older than you that
Speaker 1: don't have the willpower to do it and you have.
Speaker 1: And you should be proud of yourself, and you should
Speaker 1: give yourself a pat on the back. And one thing
Speaker 1: that you will learn right now. You're young, but you
Speaker 1: seem to be like a very mature and wise young
Speaker 1: lady from hearing you out. But one thing that you
Speaker 1: will see is that there are seasons in our lives,
Speaker 1: and we're meant to evolve and to grow and to
Speaker 1: become the best versions of ourselves, especially when you are
Speaker 1: seeking it the way you are. And with that also
Speaker 1: comes shedding and people that were in your life with
Speaker 1: the last version of yourself, maybe the unhealthier version of yourself.
Speaker 1: Let's say, right, those people will stay there and they
Speaker 1: are not meant to come with you on this new
Speaker 1: and brighter and happier journey of becoming who you're meant
Speaker 1: to become. So don't look at it like you are
Speaker 1: losing these people and you are not worthy of love,
Speaker 1: because you absolutely are. What you're doing is you're creating
Speaker 1: space for new people for this new season of your life,
Speaker 1: for people that are going to be on the same
Speaker 1: energy level, the same frequency as you are, the same wavelength,
Speaker 1: all those things. Like you have to know right now
Speaker 1: it might feel a little lonely, but you're never alone
Speaker 1: and you have to know that and just be patient
Speaker 1: the right people will come into your life. Just know
Speaker 1: that those people are probably not meant to come with
Speaker 1: you on this next cycle, in this next chapter of
Speaker 1: your life. And I just talked about this on one
Speaker 1: of my episodes on Cheeky's and chill about being okay
Speaker 1: with losing the right people. It hurts and it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: But if they were happy for you, if they loved
Speaker 1: you and were supporting one hundred percent of who you
Speaker 1: want to become, because you're happier than they would stay.
Speaker 1: If they don't, it's because they're not the right people
Speaker 1: for you. So you got to be okay with that.
Speaker 1: And you're young, and I get it. But keep going
Speaker 1: to church, keep healing yourself, and you will see little
Speaker 1: by little. You don't want a lot of people. You
Speaker 1: want the right people in your life, even if it's
Speaker 1: two or three people, but as long as you know
Speaker 1: they're the right people. So be proud, be proud of
Speaker 1: yourself because you're definitely doing hard work, work that people
Speaker 1: go their whole lifetime not able to do or they
Speaker 1: don't have the willpower, and you're doing it. So I'm
Speaker 1: very proud of you.
Speaker 4: Vity And.
Speaker 1: Just be patient, be patient to give yourself grace and
Speaker 1: everything will be okay. All right, guys. Well, this concludes
Speaker 1: our episode, this episode of Dear Cheeky's. Thank you guys
Speaker 1: for listening. I hope that even if it isn't your
Speaker 1: question that I'm answering, that you can learn something and
Speaker 1: grow from some of the device that I'm giving and
Speaker 1: the questions that people are asking, And if you have
Speaker 1: a question, definitely leave it. I would love to help
Speaker 1: you in any way that I can and give you
Speaker 1: the best advice from the bottom of my heart. Leave
Speaker 1: your question at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill
Speaker 1: podcast Asia. This is a production of iHeartRadio and the
Speaker 1: Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael
Speaker 1: Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c h I
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