WEBVTT - Minisode: Couples Counseling with Sam Jay & Yanise Monét

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job. I'm here

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<v Speaker 1>with my friends yah Yah and Sam. Okay Hi's but

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, guess we have a special tree. We

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<v Speaker 1>created a new segment for the podcast and the air

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<v Speaker 1>minisodes where we have different couples come on and we

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<v Speaker 1>talk to you guys. We go through some of the

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<v Speaker 1>things that I know are problems between the relationship because

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<v Speaker 1>of the time that I've spent with them, and some

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<v Speaker 1>other things that you guys provided us with which might be.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, recurring problems.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, now, just this is We're with Sam and yah

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<v Speaker 1>Yah finally in one room, and both of both Sam

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<v Speaker 1>and yah Yah have been on the podcast separate, individually,

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<v Speaker 1>and now they are sitting across from me with a

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<v Speaker 1>bottle of patron Repisodo.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I was supposed to be Don Julio, but anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>I was kind of disappointed.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry, at least I called for alcohol. I knew you

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<v Speaker 1>were gonna want alcohol, you know. Okay, so girls, we're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna start with my favorite topic. Sam fucking hates when

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<v Speaker 1>I do this shit because I riled yah Ya up.

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<v Speaker 1>And for the those of you who may have missed

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<v Speaker 1>Yahya's episode. She's a fucking piece of work. Okay, you

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<v Speaker 1>have to know her.

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<v Speaker 2>You can hear her.

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<v Speaker 1>Once you hear her talk for five minutes, you're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>know what I'm talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>But she is tricky.

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<v Speaker 1>She is tricky, and she is all woman, and she

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<v Speaker 1>is wearing the pants at the same time. And I mean, Sam,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm wearing the pants.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you are.

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<v Speaker 1>You're wearing wearing you know, Sam seems like she's wearing

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<v Speaker 1>the pants. But really, through your psychodrama and the way

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<v Speaker 1>you are, you are wearing the pants.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow, thank you, Chelsea.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you agree with that?

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<v Speaker 3>I do? Yeah, I absolutely Do you agree with that?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, you're very manipulative. Well, I don't mean that in

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<v Speaker 2>a negative sense.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, how do I have am I supposed to take that?

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<v Speaker 1>Manipulative is not the right that's not a good term.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not the right word.

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<v Speaker 3>She knows how to wield her power.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, manipulative.

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<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't say you're manipulative at all, baby. I would

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<v Speaker 4>just say you're aware of your.

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<v Speaker 2>Feminine Yes, that's a great way to put it.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, then in that case, think you're a manipulative too,

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<v Speaker 4>because you are aware of.

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<v Speaker 3>Your feminine whiles.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I'm as aware of my feminine

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<v Speaker 1>wiles as you are. Mine's a different thing. Mine's more

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<v Speaker 1>of a masculine energy. Yours is a very feminine energy.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think that's good because that makes you like

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<v Speaker 1>a real You're like very womanly.

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<v Speaker 3>I would say, Okay, I like that.

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<v Speaker 2>I like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like yeah, I mean I was looking at her titty,

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<v Speaker 1>so I was like, oh, you.

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<v Speaker 3>Too, I like that too.

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<v Speaker 1>But one of my favorite parts of your relationship is

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<v Speaker 1>that you guys have broken up and gotten back together

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<v Speaker 1>so many times, because I think that's a sign of

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<v Speaker 1>a real You're tried and true, you've run the gamut

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<v Speaker 1>of time. And Sam doesn't like this subject matter because

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<v Speaker 1>she's guilty of a lot of chainery bad things, right right, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>bad things, and they're past that part of their relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think it's always fun to go back and

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<v Speaker 1>really you kind.

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<v Speaker 3>Of to relieve the trauma.

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<v Speaker 4>Cool, all right, let's go okay, well noble.

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<v Speaker 1>But you you have to tell me your perspective of

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<v Speaker 1>from that, like how it was. You don't have to

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<v Speaker 1>get into details, but how you've grown and how your

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<v Speaker 1>relationship has evolved from then. To now and like your

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<v Speaker 1>trust level and your love level, all of it.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, would you like to start?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, she doesn't. Ever, she doesn't even want to finish.

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<v Speaker 2>She doesn't want to start or finish.

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<v Speaker 4>I think that we had to we had to grow

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<v Speaker 4>back trust. But there are different times where I've lost

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<v Speaker 4>Marius trust as well, so I think it was a

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<v Speaker 4>mutual thing, just at different times. Hers happened later on

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<v Speaker 4>in our relationship, and mind happened in the beginning of

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<v Speaker 4>our relationship. M hm.

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<v Speaker 2>And did you learn your lessons so to speak, when

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<v Speaker 2>you got caught?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh no, because I didn't get caught because I'm smart,

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<v Speaker 4>So I didn't do anything. We weren't together technically, in

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<v Speaker 4>my what we weren't together technically weren't we were dating,

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<v Speaker 4>We weren't in an exclusive relationship.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, Okay, I disagree, boy, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>But well tell us your version of things.

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<v Speaker 4>Five versus of the things is. I came to Atlanta,

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<v Speaker 4>we said that we were going to be together. That's

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<v Speaker 4>what we said. And then I left to go home

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<v Speaker 4>under that understanding, And in two weeks you were dating

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<v Speaker 4>somebody else and lying to me about it and hiding it.

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<v Speaker 4>And I had to find out about it through a

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<v Speaker 4>friend of ours.

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<v Speaker 3>So I mean that's what happened.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but see it doesn't really that it kind of happened,

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<v Speaker 4>but it didn't really happen that way.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, but no, respond to what she's saying, Well, my

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<v Speaker 1>version is around, like Stevie Wonder, You're like, what, what's.

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<v Speaker 3>My version is? We weren't together, like we were dating,

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<v Speaker 3>but we weren't. But why when we said that.

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<v Speaker 4>We were going to be there we were don't get

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<v Speaker 4>But you can't agree to something and then go, well,

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<v Speaker 4>the bitch a here. So what I agreed to doesn't matter,

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<v Speaker 4>and I don't have to address what I agree to.

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<v Speaker 4>I could just go on and do whatever the fuck

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<v Speaker 4>I want and lie about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, hey, we've already been down there broad see see

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<v Speaker 4>look I've already apologized.

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<v Speaker 3>We're past this.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, we're just we're just revisiting trauma.

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<v Speaker 4>We just gotta say what you did. It's not me

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<v Speaker 4>saying it, like doesn't know what you.

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<v Speaker 1>Did, yeah, because you know what you could say, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>y'all it's like, yeah, I'm totally guilty, and I.

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<v Speaker 4>Said that I wasn't a good person in the beginning

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<v Speaker 4>of our relationship. Okay, well, so not when we worked together,

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<v Speaker 4>because that is that is skirting some of what you did. Okay, Sam,

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<v Speaker 4>feels like we were together, and so we were together

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<v Speaker 4>at that time. In my head, I don't feel like

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<v Speaker 4>we was really together.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't feel like that.

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<v Speaker 4>But you know, I did probably tell her we were together.

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<v Speaker 3>I can admit that.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, great, that's progress.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks, Now it's over forever, yes see?

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<v Speaker 2>And how did you regain your trust for y'all? Y'all

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<v Speaker 2>after that happened? Sam?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, she never did anything like that again.

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<v Speaker 3>No, that's not true either. Oh my god, well it's not.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you just finding out about this too? Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think you're a good therapist.

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<v Speaker 4>You feel like after that that was the only time

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<v Speaker 4>you ever did anything rock shady like on that level,

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<v Speaker 4>or you do?

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<v Speaker 2>You are?

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<v Speaker 1>But that leaves yeah, yeah, even if you weren't up

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<v Speaker 1>to something, it seems like you're up to something.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you might not be, but it seems like

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<v Speaker 1>you are. I'm not because you have that flirtatious way

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<v Speaker 1>of going through life where you're like there's like a

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<v Speaker 1>twinkle in your eye, like you've got a sequel.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm just happy. Oh my gosh, that's just happiness. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't know, and I don't intentionally flirt. I may just

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<v Speaker 4>be like, hey, I don't flirt like that. Well, if

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<v Speaker 4>you feel like you didn't ever do anything ever again.

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<v Speaker 3>Not on that level.

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<v Speaker 2>You were flirting with Daniel, Vanessa's boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 3>And my god Daniel.

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<v Speaker 2>She said I'm gonna fuck Daniel. I was kidding.

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<v Speaker 3>I really was not gonna Daniel.

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<v Speaker 4>I was just fucking with Vanessa to piss her off.

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<v Speaker 3>But I flirt. I was playing. You said you were

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<v Speaker 3>going to fuck Daniel too. I did.

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<v Speaker 1>That would have been fun. That would have been really

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<v Speaker 1>something that I would have liked to see. Okay, with

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<v Speaker 1>this kind of relationship, you've managed to get through all

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<v Speaker 1>of that ship right, You've circled back to each other

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<v Speaker 1>how many times? To Mary's account, what was the longest

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<v Speaker 1>time apart you spend when you broke up when you

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<v Speaker 1>got married, Sam, But.

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<v Speaker 3>I think, yes, that's the longest time.

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<v Speaker 4>Well no, because I can we weren't together before that, see,

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<v Speaker 4>so see, and that's what I feel like.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like we was together. You was just tripping.

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<v Speaker 4>We were together before I got married. In my head

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<v Speaker 4>when I called you and said.

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<v Speaker 3>Be with me and you said no. But in my

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<v Speaker 3>head we knew it was always it was not together.

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<v Speaker 4>I formerly said, hey, I'm tired of playing games and

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<v Speaker 4>I just want to be with you, and you said,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm still having my fun.

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<v Speaker 3>Girl.

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<v Speaker 2>I've definitely heard this version before, so it must be true.

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<v Speaker 4>So then we weren't together, but we knew that we

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<v Speaker 4>had an understanding that we was going to be together.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh we did, Yes, we did. I did not have

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<v Speaker 3>that black date do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, But it sounds like you had an understanding with yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>and I feel like you probably do that a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>You have had a whole conversation with yourself and you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>this is what's going to happen. Oh, I have an

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<v Speaker 1>update for you that reminds me of asking people to

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<v Speaker 1>leave saying thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>Remember how we.

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<v Speaker 1>Were practicing how to get people out of your house

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<v Speaker 1>at a dinner party, and whose idea was it?

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<v Speaker 2>Was?

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<v Speaker 4>It?

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<v Speaker 2>Yours?

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<v Speaker 1>To stand up and say, well that was oh no,

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<v Speaker 1>we were telling you tell me to do it. It

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<v Speaker 1>was fortune right. She was like, yes, well did you

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<v Speaker 1>do it?

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<v Speaker 3>You tried it.

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<v Speaker 1>I have done it a couple of times and what

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<v Speaker 1>happened they got to be left, I mean, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>it's pretty clear what I mean anyway. It's not like

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<v Speaker 1>I had to work on that, like telling people it's

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<v Speaker 1>a wrap for the night.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't think I've had to do that since we

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<v Speaker 4>got back. I don't think I've had.

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<v Speaker 3>To do that.

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<v Speaker 1>We haven't had a dinner party, all right, because you're

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<v Speaker 1>too busy buying new furniture.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean that.

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<v Speaker 4>And also we've just been busy, so I just haven't

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<v Speaker 4>had time, like to plan it out.

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<v Speaker 3>And cook and stuff and invite people to have people over.

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<v Speaker 1>That's actually a good thing to discussed because you both

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<v Speaker 1>have different, very different viewpoints about having company over, which

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<v Speaker 1>I'll break down for you what happens. Sam has friends

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<v Speaker 1>over comics probably, and then they stay over till like two, three,

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<v Speaker 1>six in the morning, and yeah, yeah, and then Sam

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<v Speaker 1>goes to the comedy seller or whatever comedy club to

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<v Speaker 1>run her set and.

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<v Speaker 4>Leave me with the company that I do not want

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<v Speaker 4>to entertain anymore. But I don't leave you. I told

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<v Speaker 4>them I'm the one who said that's a wrap. I

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<v Speaker 4>tell people is done. No, she just gets up and

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<v Speaker 4>be like, all right, y'all, I got a show and

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<v Speaker 4>it's like, oh oh, I'd.

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<v Speaker 3>Be like, all right, y'all, I got a show like

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<v Speaker 3>this is done.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but people are still drinking and you but you

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<v Speaker 4>keep feeding them and giving them drinks. You don't go

0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:42.880
<v Speaker 4>because I think it's rude to be like, get up

0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:44.719
<v Speaker 4>and get the fuck out. Well, then that's why they

0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.600
<v Speaker 4>I think that's rude because see, I'm from the South.

0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:51.040
<v Speaker 4>I have Southern hospitality, unlike some people, I don't know

0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:52.880
<v Speaker 4>that there's Southern hospitality. I think that you don't want

0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:56.040
<v Speaker 4>to perceived a certain way, so you do things that

0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:59.200
<v Speaker 4>work against what you actually want, Whereas I don't care

0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:02.280
<v Speaker 4>about how I'm perceived because I know who I am,

0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:03.600
<v Speaker 4>so it doesn't really matter to me.

0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:04.840
<v Speaker 3>So I.

0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.880
<v Speaker 4>Do I do things that make sense for me, and

0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't put myself in precarious situations that I don't

0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:15.120
<v Speaker 4>want to be in. That sounded like a deg it did?

0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:17.559
<v Speaker 4>It did sound like a dig again. I don't think

0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:19.720
<v Speaker 4>you're a good therapist. I think you're doing worse work.

0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:21.679
<v Speaker 2>I don't. I don't think I'm no.

0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:23.480
<v Speaker 1>I think when you leave here, you're going to be

0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:25.480
<v Speaker 1>closer because you survived it together.

0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:27.559
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Okay, I look at it that.

0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:31.160
<v Speaker 4>It's not a dig, like I'm just saying you said

0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.480
<v Speaker 4>I know who I am, so I'm saying I think

0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:36.040
<v Speaker 4>you know who you are too, But I don't think

0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:37.760
<v Speaker 4>you assert that I'm saying I know who I am.

0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:39.440
<v Speaker 4>So I know I'm not rude. I know I'm not

0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:41.800
<v Speaker 4>this to people. But if it's time for this to

0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.320
<v Speaker 4>be over, it's time to be over. And if your

0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:46.400
<v Speaker 4>perception of that is, oh, Sam is rude, that's on you.

0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:47.640
<v Speaker 3>That really has nothing to do with me.

0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:49.240
<v Speaker 4>But I'm not going to have you just sitting around

0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:51.200
<v Speaker 4>my house when I don't want you there, so that

0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:52.320
<v Speaker 4>you don't think something.

0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.920
<v Speaker 3>No, it's not that I just don't have them sitting there.

0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:57.920
<v Speaker 4>It's just like I just don't want to be rude and.

0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.200
<v Speaker 1>Be like it is hard to say to someone and

0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:03.320
<v Speaker 1>get out like having a good time it's not right.

0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:05.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean, yeah, exactly if you're having a good time.

0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.120
<v Speaker 1>But it's also really like it I wish I was

0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.200
<v Speaker 1>more like Sam, like you would think I am, but

0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:11.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm not. It's like it's hard for me to like

0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.040
<v Speaker 1>not want to hurt because I feel like I'm like, oh,

0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:15.240
<v Speaker 1>they're gonna think I don't want to hang like I

0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:16.720
<v Speaker 1>always think I have to hang out. I have to

0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:18.719
<v Speaker 1>hang out even when I don't want to fucking hang out.

0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:21.000
<v Speaker 1>I want to go home so I can relate to why.

0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:23.560
<v Speaker 1>It's hard to say, but it is better to just

0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:24.320
<v Speaker 1>not give a fuck.

0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:26.760
<v Speaker 4>That's hard to do too, but I'm gonna try it.

0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.240
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to try that way Fortune told us to do.

0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:33.400
<v Speaker 1>And just well, Fortune was like almost like someone impersonating

0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.880
<v Speaker 1>a person trying to teach us how to say goodbye.

0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:40.520
<v Speaker 1>Remember it's very mister Rogers. Yeah, it's like and now

0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.920
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna say, stand up and puff your chance out.

0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.079
<v Speaker 2>And say, okay, well that was a good night.

0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:49.319
<v Speaker 3>Something like that.

0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:51.079
<v Speaker 2>But I learned.

0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:53.439
<v Speaker 4>I learned a lot, and you learned a lot apparently

0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:54.880
<v Speaker 4>because it worked when you tried it.

0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I did. And I'm in between the two of you.

0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:00.240
<v Speaker 1>I usually, you know, I don't give a fuck about

0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:01.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings

0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.600
<v Speaker 1>when they're hanging out with me. And it's really fucking

0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.600
<v Speaker 1>annoying because you know, as a comic, you sometimes you

0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.720
<v Speaker 1>feel like you have to fucking be funny, and I'm like, yeah,

0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.240
<v Speaker 1>I want to smoke a joint and walk down the

0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.559
<v Speaker 1>street and like last night, my friend was like, let's

0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:17.760
<v Speaker 1>I'll walk you home from dinner. I'm like, please, don't like,

0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:20.680
<v Speaker 1>I just want to fucking walk down the street listening

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.320
<v Speaker 1>to my music and not talking to a single person.

0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:26.520
<v Speaker 3>That's okay, Yeah, he's not wrong with that. Okay.

0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:28.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, thanks for listening to this Week with Sam and

0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:29.240
<v Speaker 2>Yah Yah.

0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:32.000
<v Speaker 1>You can check out Sam Jay who is on tour

0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:34.880
<v Speaker 1>now in cities all over the country and she's fucking funny.

0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:37.240
<v Speaker 1>If you haven't seen her on The Roast or on

0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:40.240
<v Speaker 1>her own special, then go watch both of those her

0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:43.320
<v Speaker 1>specials on HBO Max now known as Max And then

0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:47.080
<v Speaker 1>you can follow Yah Yah at Vanity dot Vixen on

0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Instagram and TikTok and it is worth the follow because

0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.800
<v Speaker 1>she's up to some well shenanigans.

0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:54.720
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you'll understand what I'm talking about.