Speaker 1: I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know every part of me. It's
Speaker 1: beautiful and then will always out Way if you feel
Speaker 1: it with your hands and be here, She'll some love
Speaker 1: to the food I get there. Take you one day, Anita,
Speaker 1: did you and die? Out Way? Happy Saturday, Outweigh. I'm
Speaker 1: Leanne Ellington and I'm a friend of Amy's and the
Speaker 1: author and creator of Stressless Eating, and I am back
Speaker 1: again as the resident guest host for a few episodes
Speaker 1: of Outway, which we started doing a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: It's been super fun, so if you miss those, definitely
Speaker 1: go back and check those out. And we are going
Speaker 1: to just keep on trucking along with this week's episode
Speaker 1: of Outweigh, which is all about this idea of are
Speaker 1: you using food and exercise as a weapon. So just
Speaker 1: for some context, I've been on diets and weight loss
Speaker 1: program since I was in third grade, so you know,
Speaker 1: if losing weight were an Olympic sport, I would have
Speaker 1: taken home the gold medal by the time I was ten.
Speaker 1: But in reality, all that happened to me was I
Speaker 1: simply got really good at out smarting whatever plan or
Speaker 1: program I was on. And I got really good at
Speaker 1: fake it till you make it and motivational pump me ups.
Speaker 1: And I got really good at tricking the scale and
Speaker 1: tricking my stomach and tricking my mind. And I got
Speaker 1: really good at living life hungry, you know, hungry and
Speaker 1: tired and miserable and restricted. And so yeah, I mastered
Speaker 1: those things, or at least I thought I did, but
Speaker 1: there was a major cost. Essentially, I got really good
Speaker 1: at out smarting and deceiving myself. But it didn't just
Speaker 1: stop there. There was another really big fact that came
Speaker 1: about as a result, because in order to maintain my
Speaker 1: results or feel can I put this in air quotes,
Speaker 1: you know, feel in control of my body. But obviously
Speaker 1: I wasn't in control. I had to continue to outsmart
Speaker 1: myself every single day in order to feel like I
Speaker 1: was in control. And that well, that just flat out
Speaker 1: exhausted me, to be honest, not to mention, it consumed
Speaker 1: my life, and it consumed all of my inner thoughts.
Speaker 1: And you know, if a friend called me to have dinner,
Speaker 1: my first thoughts would be something like, ah, are they
Speaker 1: going to have a salad there that would fill me up?
Speaker 1: Or just freaking out thinking what am I going to eat?
Speaker 1: And then another one of my inner voices would chime
Speaker 1: in and say, well, if I'm really you know, air
Speaker 1: quotes good all week and do extra cardio sessions at
Speaker 1: the gym, then I can quote unquote earn my cheat
Speaker 1: meal and feel really good about it. And so, looking
Speaker 1: back at the unten times that this happened, or the
Speaker 1: bazillion different types of situations like this that occurred in
Speaker 1: my life on a daily basis, now I can see
Speaker 1: clear as day that I was missing out on my life.
Speaker 1: You know, instead of getting excited about connecting with people
Speaker 1: I love, I was stressed about what to eat or
Speaker 1: how my body appeared when I was with them. Or
Speaker 1: instead of engaging and focusing in on the conversations or
Speaker 1: connections at hand, I was focusing in on what I
Speaker 1: should eat or shouldn't eat and if anyone would judge
Speaker 1: me if I got dessert, And instead of actually sitting
Speaker 1: down and gifting myself the experience of a delicious meal
Speaker 1: cooke to my liking in a fun environment with beautiful people.
Speaker 1: I was feeling guilty or anxious or psychoanalytical about food
Speaker 1: and my body. So yeah, I had motivation and discipline
Speaker 1: and willpower and check in short term spurts, And yeah,
Speaker 1: I was able to lose weight on demand or drop
Speaker 1: a gene size in record time, or whatever you know
Speaker 1: words I was using at the time. But you know
Speaker 1: what else I had. I had a very toxic relationship
Speaker 1: with my body and a very toxic relationship with my
Speaker 1: food as a result. And to be honest, that toxicity
Speaker 1: had very little to do with what I was eating
Speaker 1: or how much I weighed. It had everything to do
Speaker 1: with my relationship with food and my relationship with my
Speaker 1: body and my whole life. I was so concerned with
Speaker 1: being skinny or fit or whatever words I was using,
Speaker 1: I never realized how much it was costing me and
Speaker 1: my mental emotional health, not to mention costing me my
Speaker 1: freedom because food was the boss of me, or I
Speaker 1: was just a slave to some brutal workout routine to
Speaker 1: ensure that I didn't go gain anything back. And so
Speaker 1: twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five
Speaker 1: days a year, the life and body I was working
Speaker 1: so hard to create was actually at the mercy of
Speaker 1: this prison and at the mercy of exercise, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: what to eat and how to stick with it weren't
Speaker 1: the real problem in the end. I mean, I told
Speaker 1: you I the motivation and discipline game backwards and forwards.
Speaker 1: The real struggle was the simple truth that if I
Speaker 1: wanted to win those air quotes games every single day,
Speaker 1: it involved massive amounts of energy and grit and blood,
Speaker 1: sweat and tears to maintain it. Because no matter how
Speaker 1: motivated or disciplined I got myself to be on a
Speaker 1: day to day basis, food and exercise still ruled my
Speaker 1: every move, And no matter what size I wore or
Speaker 1: how much weight I lost, I still had what I
Speaker 1: now refer to as a fat head and a fat
Speaker 1: self image sitting on top of my body, carrying around
Speaker 1: the weight of the weight that I've mentioned on pretty
Speaker 1: much every outweigh episode I've been on. And what I
Speaker 1: realize is that it doesn't matter how much you weigh
Speaker 1: or what size you wear, if you have what I
Speaker 1: call a fat head or a fat self image sitting
Speaker 1: on top of your body, you will always be carrying
Speaker 1: around that weight of the weight too, And most women
Speaker 1: think they have a weight problem, or a food problem,
Speaker 1: or a laziness problem. But I don't believe any of
Speaker 1: those things are the problem. And yes, women are walking
Speaker 1: around with a weight problem. But it's the weight of
Speaker 1: the weight that I keep mentioning that's weighing us down.
Speaker 1: And it's the weight of shame and blame and guilt
Speaker 1: and comparison itis that usually comes alongside, you know, typical
Speaker 1: weight loft methods AKA you know, your inner critic, your
Speaker 1: inner naysayer. There's the weight of the plans and programs
Speaker 1: that cause you to restrict yourself and punish yourself or
Speaker 1: persuade yourself to do the things you don't really want
Speaker 1: to do. And then there's the weight of waiting for
Speaker 1: the weight to live the life that you want to live,
Speaker 1: and to wear what you want to wear, and do
Speaker 1: what you want to do, and have the life that
Speaker 1: you want to have and really just be who you
Speaker 1: want to be. And that is the weight that is
Speaker 1: truly weighing you down and keeping you on this roller
Speaker 1: coaster of a ride with your body, because that's what
Speaker 1: inevitably comes along for the ride when you're using food
Speaker 1: and exercise as a weapon that works against you rather
Speaker 1: than a helpful tool that works for you. So how
Speaker 1: can you tell? How can we tell if we're using
Speaker 1: food and exercise as a tool or as a weapon.
Speaker 1: I should say, is a tool to get ourselves healthy.
Speaker 1: And again you can't see me, but I'm putting healthy
Speaker 1: in air quotes because that's kind of part of the problem,
Speaker 1: is our version of healthy has gotten skewed. But you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, are you using it to get
Speaker 1: you healthy or are you using it as a weapon,
Speaker 1: a weapon of punishment, control, restriction, or shame. And so
Speaker 1: there's four different you know, kind of signs and symptoms
Speaker 1: that I talk about with my clients, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to just share all of them with you here today.
Speaker 1: So let's dive in now real quick. I want to
Speaker 1: just revisit this distinction between using something as a tool
Speaker 1: versus using it as a weapon. And I mentioned this
Speaker 1: on the is social Media Helping or Harming your relationship
Speaker 1: with your Self Esteem? Episode? But it definitely bears repeating.
Speaker 1: So the difference between using something as a tool and
Speaker 1: using it as a weapon. So a very obvious example
Speaker 1: would be when I had spine surgery and I was
Speaker 1: in a lot of pain. Afterwards, they prescribed me opiates
Speaker 1: as a tool to help me deal with my pain,
Speaker 1: and using them responsibly, I could use them as a
Speaker 1: tool for what they were designed for, to help me
Speaker 1: manage my pain. Right, But to the tens of thousands
Speaker 1: of people that die from opioid overdoses every single year,
Speaker 1: that same drug, that same substance is no longer a
Speaker 1: helpful tool. But instead now it's become a weapon of
Speaker 1: abuse and destruction and addiction. And yeah, even though technically
Speaker 1: it's the same substance, in one case, it's a helpful
Speaker 1: tool and in one case it's a destructive weapon. And yes,
Speaker 1: that's a very extreme example, but I really just want
Speaker 1: you to get the concept here. And so sugar is
Speaker 1: another example. It can absolutely be a tool for pleasure
Speaker 1: and creativity and baking in the kitchen or you know,
Speaker 1: connecting with family or friends over a treat, and a
Speaker 1: tool to help regulate insulin and blood sugar for a
Speaker 1: diabetic Now. I know sugar has been kind of villainized
Speaker 1: in today's society, and that's not the point of today's episode.
Speaker 1: But sugar as it's designed, it's not this bad or
Speaker 1: evil thing, right, but too much of it, or using
Speaker 1: it mindlessly, or using it to fill a void of sadness, loneliness, comfort, stress,
Speaker 1: you name it, or any way of abusing it where
Speaker 1: it does harm your health or your lifestyle. That same
Speaker 1: sugar that seems substance, used in a different way can
Speaker 1: become a weapon that harms us in the long run.
Speaker 1: Now back to food in your body. So how can
Speaker 1: you tell if you're using food and exercise as a
Speaker 1: tool or if they've become a weapon. Well, let's talk
Speaker 1: about that. So, like I said, there's four different signs
Speaker 1: and symptoms that I talk about with my clients, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to lay them all out for you here
Speaker 1: right now, starting with the first one. So, the first
Speaker 1: symptom is you're using food as a weapon of mass control.
Speaker 1: And so if you've been living in that diet mentality
Speaker 1: or disordered eating pattern for a while and your air
Speaker 1: quotes diet brain is the one calling the shots, it's
Speaker 1: only natural that it might start to feel like food
Speaker 1: controls you more than you control it. And this is
Speaker 1: when food has the tendency to become a means for
Speaker 1: you to control yourself, compare yourself, or judge yourself, So
Speaker 1: examples of this might look like just always thinking about
Speaker 1: or counting or measuring or weighing your food, or constantly
Speaker 1: restricting yourself or starving yourself or punishing yourself. Maybe you're
Speaker 1: always just you know, cutting calories or using food as
Speaker 1: a comfort or an escape, or maybe it's become a
Speaker 1: weapon of feeling guilty after you eat, or feeling a
Speaker 1: shame because of what or how much you eat, or
Speaker 1: just feeling cranky or depleted or hungry or sad because
Speaker 1: of food. Right, but it doesn't just stop there. For
Speaker 1: a lot of people, somewhere along the way, food became personal.
Speaker 1: And this is exactly what happened to me. So that's
Speaker 1: why I know about it. But instead of it simply
Speaker 1: remaining this inanimate object like a plant or a thumbtack,
Speaker 1: it became a means of judgment and control and comparison.
Speaker 1: So what's the solution. And again, as we've said before
Speaker 1: on this podcast, it's simple, not easy, right, but the
Speaker 1: solution is to make peace with food and instead of
Speaker 1: using it as a weapon, to use it as a
Speaker 1: tool of influence. But also notice what I did not say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I did not say that the solution was to go
Speaker 1: control food some more, or get better at controlling food
Speaker 1: or dieting more, or get better at dieting, or go
Speaker 1: on yet another attempt to lose weight. Okay, that's not
Speaker 1: what I said. The solution I'm talking about here is
Speaker 1: making peace with food and changing your relationship with food
Speaker 1: while you move towards health. Okay, And here's what I mean.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of voices out there labeling certain foods
Speaker 1: as good or bad, right or wrong. But I believe
Speaker 1: that it's these blanket statements that add shame and judgment
Speaker 1: to a topic that doesn't require anyone else's opinions or
Speaker 1: feedback or labels. And yeah, food is personal, right when
Speaker 1: it comes to your desires, your preferences, and what tickles
Speaker 1: your fancy, But it doesn't have to be used as
Speaker 1: a weapon or a source of judgment. And to boot,
Speaker 1: it's no one's business but your own. We do enough
Speaker 1: of it on our own, but having it come from
Speaker 1: third parties as a whole nother level. Because what you
Speaker 1: eat and how much you eat and the way you
Speaker 1: eat is personal and it's a personal choice. And food
Speaker 1: is a resource, a tool, and a form of energy,
Speaker 1: and it's no one's business but your own, and the
Speaker 1: judgment that comes alongside food and what you eat, it's
Speaker 1: completely optional, and when it's there, it takes away the
Speaker 1: pleasure and the connection and the power that food has
Speaker 1: to create. And when I say power, I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a powerful tool of healing and connection and pleasure
Speaker 1: in all of those things. But again with the judgment,
Speaker 1: it takes away the power of it and the influence
Speaker 1: of it and makes it a weapon. But if you
Speaker 1: start to call the truce with food, and if nothing more,
Speaker 1: just stop making it out to be the enemy or
Speaker 1: the bad guy. And if little by little you remove
Speaker 1: the disconnect that you have with food and create some
Speaker 1: new connections in your brain, one day you and food
Speaker 1: really can become friends. And then, and really only then,
Speaker 1: will you be able to use food as the powerful
Speaker 1: tool that it truly is. And like I said, it's
Speaker 1: a tool for pleasure and nourishment and connection and healing.
Speaker 1: But in the meantime, if that feels like too far
Speaker 1: of a stretch, I just invite you to let it
Speaker 1: be neutral. Let it just be food. Symptom number two
Speaker 1: is that you're using your body as a weapon of
Speaker 1: mass control. So again, when your default brain is the
Speaker 1: one in charge. You might feel like your body controls
Speaker 1: you more than you control it, as in you feel
Speaker 1: like a prisoner in your own body, or a prisoner
Speaker 1: to your weight or your size. And this is when
Speaker 1: you might have the tendency to use your body to
Speaker 1: control yourself or compare yourself, or judge yourself, or just
Speaker 1: compare and control and judge your body. And so examples
Speaker 1: of this are how this might show up when used
Speaker 1: as a weapon. Is you know, examples like punishing your
Speaker 1: body with grueling workouts, or obsessing over the scale, or
Speaker 1: just you know, simply letting the scale dictate your self worth.
Speaker 1: You know, using comparison as a weapon. So whether it's
Speaker 1: the clothes you want to wear, your body type, the
Speaker 1: number of pushups you can do, anything comparing yourself to
Speaker 1: somebody else is going to be using comparison as a weapon.
Speaker 1: So allowing your body to create a disconnect in your
Speaker 1: relationships or block intimacy. I hear this happened with my
Speaker 1: clients all the time. This was a big thing for me.
Speaker 1: Using the mirror as a weapon to compare or reject yourself,
Speaker 1: that's a big one. Using pictures or photos as a
Speaker 1: weapon to compare or reject yourself, and that's picture of
Speaker 1: your self, pictures of others, using social media or the
Speaker 1: media in general as a weapon to compare or reject yourself,
Speaker 1: and using your body as an excuse not to do
Speaker 1: the things that you want to do, or using your
Speaker 1: body as an excuse to why you aren't happy, fulfilled, successful,
Speaker 1: fill in the blank. Okay, so that is how you
Speaker 1: know that. And again there's no shame to this, but
Speaker 1: we're all about awareness. Here is just okay, now I
Speaker 1: can see that these patterns they're not normal, or they
Speaker 1: don't have to be my normal, right, and let me
Speaker 1: rephrase that. Actually, now that I just said that, it's
Speaker 1: not that they're not normal, they're natural and normal. Given
Speaker 1: the programming that we've all gotten, I had it too,
Speaker 1: But what I met was it doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: your version of normal. It doesn't have to stay your
Speaker 1: default any longer. And so the solution, like what's the alternative, Well,
Speaker 1: the solution is to make peace with your body and
Speaker 1: start to use it as a tool of influence. And again,
Speaker 1: notice what I did not say. I did not say
Speaker 1: that the solution was to go lose weight or whip
Speaker 1: your body into shape or try to air quotes perfect yourself. Right.
Speaker 1: So it's one of those things where, you know, making
Speaker 1: peace with your body. A lot of people think like, oh,
Speaker 1: I have to lose weight in order to make peace
Speaker 1: with it. And that's where I'm inviting you to kind
Speaker 1: of think about this backwards, like what if you made
Speaker 1: peace first? And that was actually the gateway too. If
Speaker 1: you want to change it, go for it, right, But
Speaker 1: the solution is to make peace with your body while
Speaker 1: you change it if you want to change it. And
Speaker 1: I know that wanting to change your body is considered
Speaker 1: bad or wrong in a lot of the health world
Speaker 1: or the body positivity communities, and for again reasons be
Speaker 1: on the scope of today, I don't agree with that,
Speaker 1: and Amy and I are actually going to be talking
Speaker 1: about that specifically in another episode of Outweigh coming up soon.
Speaker 1: But back to what I was saying, your body and
Speaker 1: your brain they are miraculous. They are miraculous pieces of machinery.
Speaker 1: And sure they're also extremely complex, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1: But if you start tuning into your body, like what
Speaker 1: do I need? What do I want? The requirements, the desirements,
Speaker 1: which is a word I just made up, you're going
Speaker 1: to find that a lot of that mystery starts to
Speaker 1: go away. And the reason I say that is because unfortunately,
Speaker 1: most women are totally ignoring their bodies or spending their
Speaker 1: time shaming it, calling it names, blaming it, comparing it.
Speaker 1: And that's why they don't. You know, if you ask
Speaker 1: a lot of women what does your body need or
Speaker 1: what do you want? They don't know because they're so disconnected. Right.
Speaker 1: But when you lay down the weapons of control and
Speaker 1: comparison and judgment, it leaves you the space to go
Speaker 1: meet your body again and use this miraculous body and
Speaker 1: nervous system of yours, your body, your breath, movement to
Speaker 1: go set your body free. And yes, I said use
Speaker 1: movement as a tool towards freedom in your body, not
Speaker 1: using exercise as a way to punish your body. And
Speaker 1: that means, you know, things like changing your relationship with exercise,
Speaker 1: because most of us learned I know that I did
Speaker 1: that exercise was this harder, faster, more, no pain, no gain,
Speaker 1: mentality and finding something that you love that feels safe
Speaker 1: to you and where there isn't any judgment placed upon you.
Speaker 1: That's what I mean by changing your relationship with exercise
Speaker 1: or movement so that you can go find something like that.
Speaker 1: Other examples, it means, you know things like using the
Speaker 1: mirror is just a mirror, not as a means to
Speaker 1: reflect on the parts of your body that you don't
Speaker 1: approve of, and beginning to get to know yourself naked,
Speaker 1: which again most women totally avoid. So it means changing
Speaker 1: your relationship with the mirror. It means things like changing
Speaker 1: your relationship with the scale, because if you're going to
Speaker 1: weigh and measure yourself, and again this isn't a black
Speaker 1: and white like you shouldn't measure yourself or your way
Speaker 1: or you should or shouldn't. It's not black and white.
Speaker 1: It's different for everyone. But it's crucial that your self
Speaker 1: esteem is not at the disposal of that number, and
Speaker 1: so you might find that you have to change your
Speaker 1: beliefs about what those numbers do and don't represent. And
Speaker 1: again that's something that will never happen them through a diet.
Speaker 1: Other examples of using it as a tool, It means
Speaker 1: using pain as a tool and an indicator that your
Speaker 1: body might need some rest or rejuvenation, or maybe that
Speaker 1: you have some muscular imbalances that need to be taken
Speaker 1: care of, or that your breathing or movement patterns need
Speaker 1: to be addressed, or that your nervous system needs some love.
Speaker 1: Like pain is really a signal from the brain telling
Speaker 1: like giving you alert but a lot of us use
Speaker 1: it as a weapon to shame ourselves. I know for me,
Speaker 1: pain was a big source of shame for me and
Speaker 1: made up stories that my body was broken, all those things.
Speaker 1: You get the picture. So it might mean having to
Speaker 1: change your relationship with pain if you are one of
Speaker 1: those people that are in pain. And I get it,
Speaker 1: all these things that I'm talking about right now, the
Speaker 1: weight loss industry, the health industry, is not really talking
Speaker 1: about this. They're throwing more and more diet and exercise
Speaker 1: plans at you. So if nothing more, I just invite
Speaker 1: you to stop looking at your body as a burden
Speaker 1: or a curse or your downfall. Right, there's people all
Speaker 1: over the world with circumstances far more life altering than
Speaker 1: backfat or muffin top right. And I mean this with
Speaker 1: so much love, and this is not a judgment, but
Speaker 1: I do invite you to just give yourself a bit
Speaker 1: of a reality check when you forget those things, because
Speaker 1: we all need a reality check once in a while
Speaker 1: myself included. Trust me, everything I share is stuff that
Speaker 1: I need to hear as well. Bottom line, your body
Speaker 1: and you are a tag team for the rest of
Speaker 1: your life, whether you like it or not. So my
Speaker 1: invitation to you is, like, what if the solution was
Speaker 1: to just wave the white flag and begin to make
Speaker 1: peace with your body? Right and if nothing more, start
Speaker 1: playing on the same side and the same team as
Speaker 1: your body and not finding against it, And then you
Speaker 1: can start identifying and eliminating all the disconnects that you
Speaker 1: have with your body and create some new connections, ones
Speaker 1: that actually serve you and your happiness. Symptom number three
Speaker 1: is you are walking around feeling weighed down by whatever
Speaker 1: plan or program or structure you are or, let's be honest,
Speaker 1: aren't following. So if your game plan is sucking the
Speaker 1: life out of you and bogging you down, chances are
Speaker 1: you're not gonna stick with it long term, and it's
Speaker 1: gonna end up being another short term band aid and
Speaker 1: you'll end up putting it in the category of great.
Speaker 1: Here's another thing I tried that didn't work for me,
Speaker 1: And we talked about all a lot of this in
Speaker 1: the episode around losing that trust in yourself and how
Speaker 1: to earn your trust back. But examples of this of
Speaker 1: being weighed down or bogged down by whatever plan or
Speaker 1: program you're following. So this might include, you know, not
Speaker 1: enjoying your food or fitness plan, but committing to it anyways,
Speaker 1: you know, feeling like crap all the time, right, like
Speaker 1: having no energy, feeling grumpy or hungry all the time,
Speaker 1: feeling ashamed of what you're doing to get there. Maybe
Speaker 1: you know, worried that it's not safe for your body
Speaker 1: or that you're setting a bad example to those around you,
Speaker 1: and kind of having that voice in the back of
Speaker 1: your mind. You know. Maybe it involves just being frustrated
Speaker 1: with yourself for what you are or aren't doing, or
Speaker 1: where you're not complying. Maybe it's just constantly needing a
Speaker 1: new fix of motivation or accountability because your plan is
Speaker 1: too hard to stick too long term and you're reliant
Speaker 1: on that external point force to keep it going. Maybe
Speaker 1: for you, it just shows up is feeling tired or
Speaker 1: sore or achy, or or maybe even injured. I know,
Speaker 1: for me, back in the day, I used to beat
Speaker 1: my body to submission and cause injury because I was
Speaker 1: so focused on losing weight and I was experiencing, you know,
Speaker 1: symptoms of overtraining, but ignoring it and keeping going. So
Speaker 1: that's one sign. Right. Maybe you're just feeling overloaded by information,
Speaker 1: or you're overwhelmed and confused, or like things are more
Speaker 1: complex than you want them to be, or then you
Speaker 1: really know that they should be because it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be so complex, Or maybe it shows up for
Speaker 1: you as you're just adding even more to an overpacked,
Speaker 1: overstressed life. And we all know that the solution to
Speaker 1: overwhelm is not to add more, right, So what is
Speaker 1: the solution again, It's about ditching the weight of the weight.
Speaker 1: It's ditching the weight of the journey that's making you
Speaker 1: hate who you have to be or what you have
Speaker 1: to do to get there. And then it's about finding
Speaker 1: out what would work for you. It's about experimentation and
Speaker 1: experimenting to find out what works for you. Because no
Speaker 1: one can tell you that or give that to you
Speaker 1: or feed it to you. You've got to discover it. Right.
Speaker 1: They can give you the structure and the frameworks, but
Speaker 1: in terms of the specifics, like you've got to go
Speaker 1: uncover it and discover it. And chances are that if
Speaker 1: you're not enjoying what you're doing or how you're feeling,
Speaker 1: it's probably not the right roadmap for you. You need
Speaker 1: your own roadmap too, not some cookie cutter, one size
Speaker 1: fits all. And the solution is really to eliminate the
Speaker 1: disconnect that your planner program is creating and find ways
Speaker 1: to create connection instead, you know, connection to yourself, connection
Speaker 1: to your body, connection to food, and so. In other words,
Speaker 1: it's it could be a SA is finding something that
Speaker 1: you enjoy and something that you wouldn't have to convince
Speaker 1: or persuade or coerce yourself to stick with because you
Speaker 1: really don't like it. And I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people think that change in transformation has to be miserable
Speaker 1: or that you're not supposed to enjoy the journey. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people think that change and transformation
Speaker 1: has to be miserable or that you're not supposed to
Speaker 1: enjoy the journey. And I couldn't disagree more. I mean,
Speaker 1: if there's hard work that has to be put in right,
Speaker 1: but you can work smarter, not harder. But that to
Speaker 1: be said, if you're not esteemed, broccoli and pushups kind
Speaker 1: of gal, then don't commit yourself to eternal broccoli dinners
Speaker 1: and becoming a world record push up er, which I
Speaker 1: think is another word I just made up, but you
Speaker 1: get my point. On the flip side, if you love
Speaker 1: brownies and lazy days on the couch once in a while,
Speaker 1: it's important that you create a journey that enables you
Speaker 1: to include those once in a while while getting to
Speaker 1: your goals. And that might sound so counterintuitive to what
Speaker 1: you learned about health and weight loss, but trust me,
Speaker 1: it's how I approach it, and how it's It's how
Speaker 1: all of my clients approach it too, because it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be this either or conversation. You know, a
Speaker 1: lot of people think it's okay, I have to choose
Speaker 1: happiness or health, weight loss or enjoying my life, and
Speaker 1: I say, like, choose both. Have an and conversation rather
Speaker 1: than an either or conversation. And again, that's why a
Speaker 1: cookie cutter, one size fits all plan is not going
Speaker 1: to help you figure out what works for you. And
Speaker 1: I invite you to take an experimentation mindset and test
Speaker 1: out a combination of modalities so that you can figure
Speaker 1: out what you enjoy and what can make you a
Speaker 1: better version of yourself in the meantime, and not only
Speaker 1: what do you enjoy in life, but also like what
Speaker 1: what do you want to stick with and what would
Speaker 1: make you stick with it? Right? And you will never
Speaker 1: stick with it if you're weighed down by the weight
Speaker 1: of plans and programs that aren't sustainable, enjoyable, or doable.
Speaker 1: It really is that simple. And symptom number four that
Speaker 1: food or exercise or your body has become a weapon
Speaker 1: is you're waiting for the weight to go live your
Speaker 1: life the way you really want to. So thinking things
Speaker 1: like you know, when I lose the weight, then I'll
Speaker 1: wear that or commit to that, or feel that way
Speaker 1: or feel successful, happy, love to fill in the blank again,
Speaker 1: that's just a sign that your current self image is
Speaker 1: doing the talking. And please don't hear what I'm not saying.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying not to want more for your future
Speaker 1: by all means, you know aim high. But if future
Speaker 1: thinking is causing you to miss out on your life
Speaker 1: right now, there's a good chance you're waiting for the
Speaker 1: weight to live your best life. And so examples of
Speaker 1: this might include just not being present or holding yourself
Speaker 1: back in areas of your life that you truly want
Speaker 1: to be moving forward. And so maybe it's your love life,
Speaker 1: your career, hobby's family, whatever it is. Because you're waiting
Speaker 1: till you are air quotes, thinner or have it all together,
Speaker 1: maybe it looks like you just don't know yourself and
Speaker 1: like yourself in trust yourself. And so you know, we've
Speaker 1: talked about this on past episodes too, but if you
Speaker 1: don't know yourself, or if you're disconnected from yourself, it's
Speaker 1: harder to create change in yourself and to connect to others.
Speaker 1: And if you don't like yourself, you're skipping a big part.
Speaker 1: It's one thing to love yourself, and I've found honestly,
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of the people that I work with,
Speaker 1: they do actually love themselves, but liking themselves that's a
Speaker 1: whole separate thing. And a lot of women straight up
Speaker 1: don't like themselves and they don't like to even be
Speaker 1: around themselves. And if you don't like yourself, that is
Speaker 1: something that you might want to take a look at
Speaker 1: as well. Again, no shame about it, but it's something
Speaker 1: to look at. And if you don't trust yourself and
Speaker 1: you don't believe yourself that you'll follow through on the
Speaker 1: promises you make to yourself, and you're going to have
Speaker 1: a really hard time creating that future that you desperately
Speaker 1: desire if you don't trust yourself. And so the solution
Speaker 1: is to stop waiting for the wait and to just
Speaker 1: go do all you can do right now, to start
Speaker 1: influencing yourself and influencing your body and influencing your life
Speaker 1: right now. Because what do they say everywhere you go
Speaker 1: there you'll be right. And so go live life as
Speaker 1: that person right now while you go work towards your goals.
Speaker 1: I mean, just think about it. What would you be
Speaker 1: doing differently and who would you start being if you
Speaker 1: started living life right now as the person you'll think
Speaker 1: you'll be when you achieve the body that you desire.
Speaker 1: So how would she walk, how would she talk? How
Speaker 1: would she act? How would she feel? Right now? And
Speaker 1: so that's where I invite you, like, get to know
Speaker 1: yourself and learn to like yourself and learn to trust
Speaker 1: yourself again, and then that journey towards self acceptance and
Speaker 1: self love and body love will be a heck of
Speaker 1: a lot easier because your life is happening right now,
Speaker 1: whether whether you choose to accept it or not. Right,
Speaker 1: it's happening right now. And so if you spend all
Speaker 1: of your time living and worrying and projecting into the future,
Speaker 1: you're gonna miss out on your life. So I'm just
Speaker 1: inviting you not to wait for the weight to start
Speaker 1: living your life as your most beautiful, powerful and confident self,
Speaker 1: because I promise you you don't have to. And so
Speaker 1: the bottom line is, your life and your body are
Speaker 1: comprised of so much more than what you eat and
Speaker 1: what you weigh and how many you know squats you
Speaker 1: can do, and in fact, all of these measurements they
Speaker 1: can be used against you as a weapon if you're
Speaker 1: not aware. And that's why we're even having this conversation today.
Speaker 1: And again you're allowed to want more for yourself, and
Speaker 1: I go, I say, you know, go make those changes
Speaker 1: and set those goals and take your life to the
Speaker 1: next level. But don't turn into your own internal supercritic
Speaker 1: just to get there. And know when you're using food
Speaker 1: in your body or the experience itself as a weapon
Speaker 1: against yourself rather than a tool of freedom. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: really what I wanted you to get. And so hopefully
Speaker 1: today's episode of Outweigh gave you the insight that you
Speaker 1: needed to figure out what that looks like for you,
Speaker 1: and just whatever you do, don't give up on your freedom.
Speaker 1: I used to think that I had to live in
Speaker 1: that diet prison, you know, filled with all of that
Speaker 1: control and shame and stress. But I promise there is
Speaker 1: a better way. You know, you don't have to give
Speaker 1: up on carving out your own freedom. And don't believe
Speaker 1: the lie that this is who you are forever and
Speaker 1: this is how you have to live, because you were
Speaker 1: meant for so much more. Okay, And if you liked
Speaker 1: what you heard today and want to hear more about
Speaker 1: just rewiring your brain your self image, head on over
Speaker 1: to Stressless Eating. I've laid out my entire five step
Speaker 1: game plan. It's the exact system my clients used to
Speaker 1: heal their all or nothing diet mentality for good. But
Speaker 1: of course, you know, no restricting, no using food and
Speaker 1: body as a weapon, learning how to really use it
Speaker 1: as a tool of influence. So I've laid it all
Speaker 1: out for you five easy steps over at Stresslessheeding dot com.
Speaker 1: And if you like today's episode, you'll be happy because
Speaker 1: Amy will be back next week for some more outweigh
Speaker 1: and I just happen to know that there is some
Speaker 1: amazing stuff plan coming up. So until we meet again,
Speaker 1: I'm Leanne Ellington signing up out