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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. Oh stuff. I never

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Speaker 1: told you production buy Heart Radio. And as this comes.

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Speaker 2: Out, I recently had a birthday, Samantha, You're coming up

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Speaker 2: on a birthday. And I've seen a lot of articles

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Speaker 2: about this a topic you brought to my attention years ago,

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Speaker 2: about what is the midlife crisis?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 3: What is it?

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Speaker 2: And I actually have seen a lot of people writing

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Speaker 2: about it about what does the millennial life crisis look like?

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Speaker 2: What does all these other things look like. I was

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Speaker 2: talking to my friend the other day where it's like,

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Speaker 2: I still feel I just feel like a kid, Like

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like an adult even though I am.

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Speaker 2: And I know we talk about this in here, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. So I have this birthday that goes by

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, I still feel pretty young.

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Speaker 1: I'm still really young. It's strange, though.

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Speaker 2: It is a bizarre thing where you're like, I should

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Speaker 2: probably feel a little bit a little bit older than

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Speaker 2: maybe more my age.

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Speaker 1: Perhaps, But it's interesting. It's interesting, especially.

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Speaker 2: Because my mom is coming over tomorrow and I don't know,

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Speaker 2: having her in my apartment with my mess of Star

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Speaker 2: Wars toys.

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Speaker 1: It's just an interesting experience.

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Speaker 3: Understandable.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well, listeners, please write in if you have any

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Speaker 2: thoughts about this, but in the meantime, please enjoy this

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Speaker 2: classic episode. Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome

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Speaker 2: to Stefan Never told your protection of iHeart Radio.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Annie, you and I have been talking about this

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Speaker 3: for a minute, and I have sent warning texts to

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Speaker 3: all my friends about the fact that I am in

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Speaker 3: quite a place sure mentally as of late, to the

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Speaker 3: point that everybody's like, seriously, are you okay? And to

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Speaker 3: the point my partner's like, how about how about if

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Speaker 3: we go visit? How about we go outside? How about

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Speaker 3: we touch the grass? As the new expression goes. But

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Speaker 3: I did want to ask you, did you ever go

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Speaker 3: through what is known as quarter life crisis? Now I

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Speaker 3: know it's actually I guess this is a millennial thing

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Speaker 3: because I feel like John may I really pushed that

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Speaker 3: out in his lyrics.

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Speaker 1: Did he does he have a song about quarter life crisis?

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Speaker 3: He literally say about having a quarter life crisis in

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Speaker 3: one of his very moody songs.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's okay.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm having to wow, thanks to meoth that I'm

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Speaker 2: having to reckon with the fact I'm at the quarter

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Speaker 2: of my life at least WHOA, I.

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Speaker 1: Don't think I have.

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Speaker 2: I've definitely had moments where but they're usually fleeting, but

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Speaker 2: I've had moments where I'm like, I've got to make

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Speaker 2: a change and like what am I doing with my

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Speaker 2: I don't oh, not have so I don't have a

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Speaker 2: significant other, I don't have all these things. And then

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Speaker 2: usually like within an hour, I'm out of it, like

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Speaker 2: I changed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fine.

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Speaker 2: I think it helps that I did travel a lot

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Speaker 2: when we could travel a lot, and I always was busy,

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Speaker 2: and you know, it's always hiking and stuff.

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Speaker 1: But I don't.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's coming, maybe it's on the horizon, but not

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Speaker 2: as yet.

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Speaker 1: I don't think i've had one.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So the quarter life crisis, if your lifespan was

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Speaker 3: to say, eighty, would hit at twenty. So if your

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Speaker 3: lifespan goes to one hundred, it goes to twenty five, right,

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Speaker 3: So that's the quarter life And I really felt that,

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Speaker 3: and for some reason in my head I got sure

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Speaker 3: I definitely going to live to one hundred. So around

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Speaker 3: twenty five, I was like what am I.

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Speaker 1: Doing with my life?

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Speaker 3: This all was also a part of like whether or

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Speaker 3: not I was okay with my job whether I was not.

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Speaker 3: I was trying to find my identity and trying to

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Speaker 3: figure out you know, it was during the time I

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Speaker 3: was losing a lot of my old identity as the

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Speaker 3: Asian girl wanting to be white from a small town,

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Speaker 3: from going to from conservative to oh, that doesn't make

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Speaker 3: sense anymore, doing from religious to oh yeah, I don't

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Speaker 3: think this is me anymore type of moments. So to me,

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Speaker 3: that was a little bit of my quarter life crisis

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Speaker 3: because religion and Christianity was a big part of who

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Speaker 3: I was so losing that really did feel like I

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Speaker 3: was losing myself and had to redefine myself. So that

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Speaker 3: kind of what's my quarter life crisis. And at this point,

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Speaker 3: I'm in my forties forty one. I'm still young forties,

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Speaker 3: don't get me wrong. And I know I keep saying

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Speaker 3: it like I'm going to push over at any moment,

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Speaker 3: but I'm telling you, I went to work out yesterday

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Speaker 3: for the first time in what months, I'm in pain.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, So I feel like this is even more

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Speaker 3: defined right now because I can't stand up without literally

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Speaker 3: holding onto desks, tables, arms, and chairs to push myself up.

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Speaker 3: So I really feel like this is the moment for

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Speaker 3: me to talk about this because at this point I

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Speaker 3: sent you and Caroline, who was a good friend of mine,

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Speaker 3: and others like I'm either going to buy a house,

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Speaker 3: an RV, a new car, go on a ridiculously expensive vacation,

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Speaker 3: or a new dog like that was the taxon, Like

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Speaker 3: I don't know what's happening, but I need to do

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Speaker 3: one of these things to shake up my life. And

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Speaker 3: that's when I started thinking, Oh, it's the life crisis point,

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Speaker 3: like if I die eighty two, this is it, right,

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Speaker 3: this is the midlife point, which by the way, is

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Speaker 3: defined to happen around forties to sixties. And though it

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Speaker 3: is not an actual mental health like thing, people are

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Speaker 3: still acknowledge it. Don't get me wrong. There's a debate

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Speaker 3: about it whether it exists. In twenty six percent of

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Speaker 3: Americas apparently have reported to have had one. And of

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Speaker 3: course we do have the stereotypical as I said, going

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Speaker 3: on to extravagant buys, which is what I just, you know,

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Speaker 3: kind of was a stereotype. I really do. I've been

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Speaker 3: looking at each one of those things. BT dubs sending

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Speaker 3: you links, sending my partner links and like, somebody approved

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Speaker 3: this for me, and no one has yet to do so,

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Speaker 3: So I feel like I've been betrayed a little bit.

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Speaker 3: But all of these things that we know that the

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Speaker 3: forty five fifty sixty year old man buying the Porsche

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Speaker 3: all of a sudden, leaving his wife of fifteen twenty

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Speaker 3: years for the twenty year old whatever, these are all

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Speaker 3: stereotypes we're talking about. But when it comes to women,

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Speaker 3: it seems to be a little different. And I wanted

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Speaker 3: to know what that was. And first and foremost, let's

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Speaker 3: go ahead and define what is a midlife crisis, because

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Speaker 3: you know we love to do that. Which is a

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Speaker 3: period of emotional turmoil in middle age, characterized especially by

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Speaker 3: a strong desire for change. This is Merriam Webster's definition,

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Speaker 3: by the way. And yeah, I feel that. I feel that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it's because of middle aged. Of course,

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Speaker 3: some of the articles which I talked about the twenty

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Speaker 3: six percent came from the healthline dot com article about

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Speaker 3: midlife crisis and women. Some of this talks about possible menopause.

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Speaker 3: And you know, I'm not sad about menopause because there's

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Speaker 3: nothing in me that wants to have a child, so

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Speaker 3: it doesn't bother me per se, of course, and I'm

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Speaker 3: sure we can have this other conversation and we'll come

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Speaker 3: back to it. We should come back to it. I

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Speaker 3: am very worried about not wanting to have sex, which

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Speaker 3: you and I have talked about whether or not that

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Speaker 3: it makes us normal and whether or not that redefines us.

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Speaker 3: We talked about asexuality as an actual sexuality and being

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Speaker 3: a part of the quick community, and that's important that

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Speaker 3: we need to talk about that. But as the one

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Speaker 3: myself who has been fairly sexual from my twenties to

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Speaker 3: my nows, which is a short amount of times of

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Speaker 3: course beforehand, but I haven't actually hadn't engaged with a

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Speaker 3: partner up until that point, I feel like, oh no,

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Speaker 3: I've missed out on so much of that and now

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Speaker 3: I'm losing it. It makes me sad. So again, that's

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Speaker 3: a whole different conversation of how that defines us as

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Speaker 3: being women who are aging but trying to remain what

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Speaker 3: used to be norm for us as individuals. But that's

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Speaker 3: not again a different conversation now. I looked back to

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Speaker 3: the med life crisis because I was like, what the like,

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Speaker 3: I'm not happy, I don't want to be here. But

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Speaker 3: at the same time, I started looking at the different

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Speaker 3: factors of my life specifically, and I am one of

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Speaker 3: the anomalies, but started to become more of a norm now.

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Speaker 3: But I guess more of an anomaly in my age

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Speaker 3: group was hit the forties mark to not have a family.

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Speaker 3: I don't have children, I don't have a spouse. I

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Speaker 3: have a partner. But as committed as we are, we

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Speaker 3: are still very independent. I don't own a home. I'm

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Speaker 3: absolutely renting in a very cute little home that I've

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Speaker 3: made for myself. But does it include neighbors in the building?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Do we share a washer dryer as a unit? Yes?

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Speaker 3: I am able to afford my own car. I am

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Speaker 3: now getting to the point that I'm actually fixing my

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Speaker 3: teeth like an adult that should have been fixed twenty

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Speaker 3: five years ago apparently. But yeah, all these things. I

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Speaker 3: have a dog, I don't have children. I have just

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Speaker 3: figured out what the hell this four oh one k

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Speaker 3: life is and savings is about. That, of course, I

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Speaker 3: also has to do with me being in a job

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Speaker 3: that is woillfully neglected by the government, by the economy,

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Speaker 3: by society, in itself, and so getting pennies to a

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Speaker 3: job that worked me twenty hours a day. So we

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Speaker 3: know that those are the outside influences to that. But

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Speaker 3: all of that to say, you know, I'm not your

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Speaker 3: typical in that I'm not in that housewife, wife, mother,

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Speaker 3: grandmother state of being. So it is my midlife crisis,

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Speaker 3: I feel like, is very different from what we know of.

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Speaker 3: And I'm sure there needs to be new data and

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Speaker 3: I'm sure that it will come upon it one day. Yes,

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Speaker 3: maybe I said this as a question into the but

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Speaker 3: like all of these things, so I'm like, what is this?

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Speaker 3: Is this? What this looks like? Who am I?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And it also comes down to the point like one

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Speaker 3: of the big questions is the definitions and maybe this

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Speaker 3: new crisis, what men were going through, what we have

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Speaker 3: seen men do just literally putting caution to the wind.

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Speaker 3: Again stereotypically, I'm not necessarily saying that that's all true,

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Speaker 3: but my stereotype. But what we see as a caricature

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Speaker 3: of well not too much of a caricature, but like

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Speaker 3: a little stretch, little bit of a stretch that men

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Speaker 3: just kind of throw caution to the wind and move on.

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Speaker 3: That women who are have become breadwinners, have become more

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Speaker 3: likely to have less children, have become less dependent on

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Speaker 3: men because we earn our own money. There's a wide

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Speaker 3: gender gap. We know this, gender pay gap. We know this,

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Speaker 3: but it's at one point in time did seem like

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Speaker 3: it was closing a bit for some of the communities.

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Speaker 3: So that also means less dependency on our men if

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Speaker 3: it is a heterocys relationship. So that's changed all around.

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Speaker 3: So I'm wondering if we are. We haven't seen or

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Speaker 3: talked about it as much for women until recently because

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Speaker 3: of those changes, which is where I am. I would

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Speaker 3: probably be the face of that, not necessarily, but just

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Speaker 3: like the lack of having all of those responsibilities that

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Speaker 3: once was always on women, That makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a lot of kind of varying thoughts

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Speaker 2: about this. When I was growing up, my mom had

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Speaker 2: a best friend who was an artist and she was

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Speaker 2: kind of known as like affectionately, the weirdo.

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Speaker 1: But she.

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Speaker 2: When she approached I guess her she had her midlife crisis.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if she did, but she bought this

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Speaker 2: jeep that was bright sunburnt orange, and everyone joked it

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Speaker 2: was her midlife crisis car and I was a kid.

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Speaker 1: And I remember hearing that, thinking that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: But to this day, like I do remember that. I remember,

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Speaker 2: and she was the one who made the money in

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Speaker 2: that particular family situation, and she did have a lot

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Speaker 2: going on, difficult things going on, So I think of that.

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Speaker 2: I also think, like, again, I don't I haven't had

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Speaker 2: a mid life crisis, or I don't think I've had

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Speaker 2: a quarter life crisis.

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Speaker 1: But recently I've.

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Speaker 2: Been thinking because Quarantine universary is this weekend for me

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Speaker 2: for a lot of us, and I'm going to celebrate it.

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Speaker 2: But I was thinking, like, wow, this is two years.

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Speaker 2: You've barely loved this apartment two years. Yeah, And that

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Speaker 2: made me pause. That made me pause for a second,

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Speaker 2: because I am somebody who's very like I want to

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Speaker 2: do all this stuff, and I want to go everywhere,

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Speaker 2: and I want to travel in a lot of ways,

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Speaker 2: staying in my apartment has been not a bad thing

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Speaker 2: and interesting and I've learned a lot.

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Speaker 1: But I think in that way of what you're saying of.

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Speaker 2: Women now not kind of changing the roles the from

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Speaker 2: what the stereotypical traditional role was to now or much

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Speaker 2: more like late to get married, or get a house

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Speaker 2: or if we do those things at all. I did

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Speaker 2: have that moment of like, is that a waste of

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Speaker 2: a two years?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, totally that's what it is. But that actually that's

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Speaker 3: a good segue because I also thought, well, maybe it's

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Speaker 3: not this midlife crisis that I'm at. Maybe that's not

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Speaker 3: what it is. Maybe it's this existential crisis, which I've

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Speaker 3: always heard it seems such like a kitchy like goofy

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Speaker 3: word that people use just to be real out there,

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Speaker 3: like the kind of like the new ag level of

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Speaker 3: like what is this? You know? Yes, I have to

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Speaker 3: use the noise for that, and if you don't know,

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Speaker 3: an existential crisis is a psychological episode in which a

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Speaker 3: person questions the meaning of their life and of existence itself.

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Speaker 3: And that's from dictionary dot com and y'all yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think, especially for so many of us in the

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Speaker 3: last two years, that has been the moment like what

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Speaker 3: is this life? And oh my god? What am I here?

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Speaker 1: For?

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Speaker 3: Am I making a difference? And of course there's a

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Speaker 3: bigger conversation in this because there's an intersectionality in this

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Speaker 3: conversation about this type of crisis when it comes to

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Speaker 3: climate change, when it comes to racial issues, when it

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Speaker 3: comes to working within war torn countries and what that

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Speaker 3: looks like for them, when we talk about feminism in

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Speaker 3: itself and feminist issues today. We know that Texas has

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Speaker 3: allowed for that really overarching anti abortion law, which is

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Speaker 3: really upsetting and as a whole other I know, segue

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Speaker 3: we're gonna have to get into because a lot of

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Speaker 3: big changes that are happening and I hate it. I

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Speaker 3: hate it, I hate it, I hate it, but it

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Speaker 3: does put you into that moment of the crisis and

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Speaker 3: also with that existential dread. Yeah, I'm talking about that.

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Speaker 3: So what is existential dread? Again? It's that same questioning

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Speaker 3: of life and death and the uns certainties that surrounds them,

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Speaker 3: like you literally sit and dread and wait on it.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of that, like it's the what's the meaning

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Speaker 3: of life? Why should I care about this?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: My god? Is are we killing humankind? There's no hope?

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Speaker 3: And I'm laughing because if we don't we cry? Am

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Speaker 3: I right? Am I right? One blogger from the astat

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Speaker 3: Psychological Services says about it. It's oftentimes triggered by things

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Speaker 3: like unwanted life transitions, the feeling of reaching a standstill

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Speaker 3: in life, life altering experiences, traumatic experiences, crisis. On a

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Speaker 3: larger scale, it could be a depression of anxiety. Yes

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Speaker 3: I have both those things. A death of a loved one,

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Speaker 3: feeling like you're failing at your career, losing faith in

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Speaker 3: religion y'all. Like I said, that was my quarter life's crisis, Like,

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Speaker 3: there are so many of those things that line up

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Speaker 3: with it. And we talk about this on an intersectional

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Speaker 3: level when we talk about for women, for black women,

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Speaker 3: for women who are dealing with climate change or actually

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Speaker 3: acknowledging it and trying to make a change, Like we

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Speaker 3: see this in the deeper level of oh, by god,

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Speaker 3: we've failed. What do we do? Or no one's listening?

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Speaker 3: What do we do? And honestly, being a social worker,

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Speaker 3: it was consistent, like it's feeling like I'm constantly failing.

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Speaker 3: Nothing is changing. I can't change the system from where

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Speaker 3: I'm at, but no one from the head up cares

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Speaker 3: enough to actually change it, which I feel like we've

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Speaker 3: seen more and more today. Maybe it's because of social

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Speaker 3: media that we actually can acknowledge that fact that we

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Speaker 3: see the paid discrepancies, we see the amount that CEOs

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Speaker 3: and corporations make and how little they're willing to get

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Speaker 3: to their own employees who are actually running the company

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Speaker 3: and making the profit for the company.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: Again, I know I go onto this spill a lot,

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Speaker 3: but there's been moments of like, how do we change this?

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Speaker 3: So because I can't figure out how to change this

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Speaker 3: on a massive scale, I'm like, I need to change

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Speaker 3: something about my life my surroundings right now. Annie, let's

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Speaker 3: go on a resort trip where is sustainable and conscientious y'all.

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Speaker 3: I've been trying, and he's not listening.

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Speaker 1: To it, she sent me.

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Speaker 2: I'm listening, but I have gotten many texts where I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I'm unclear how I should respond this.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a fun idea.

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Speaker 3: That's a great ideas, Mantha, what do you want me

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Speaker 3: to do?

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Speaker 2: I'm just you know, it's like it's emotion your approach

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Speaker 2: to dog.

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Speaker 1: You're like, Okay, yeah, it is.

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Speaker 3: It's true, y'all. I get very intense about it and

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Speaker 3: that we need to do this right now, which makes

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Speaker 3: me really over overtly passionate about things. And honestly, this

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Speaker 3: has put me into maybe this is part of again

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Speaker 3: my crisis in general, put me into astrology and back

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Speaker 3: into astrology and astronomy because I'm like, what if this

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Speaker 3: is exactly who I am? Which also leads me back to, oh,

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Speaker 3: I don't actually know my birthdate because I was adopted,

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Speaker 3: and I don't know if this is true. I don't

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Speaker 3: know when I was born. I don't actually know where

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Speaker 3: I was born. Oh God, what's wrong with me? There's

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Speaker 3: so many things, so many layers to this, and of

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Speaker 3: course this is women's history months. So I'm like, are

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Speaker 3: we making an impact? Are we okay?

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Speaker 1: Y'all?

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Speaker 3: I'm not okay. Can you tell someone send now, send donuts?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: But you know, I have a feeling, like I said,

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Speaker 3: because of the things that we've gone through in the

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Speaker 3: last two years, last four years for many people, all

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Speaker 3: of their lives. Again, that's that intersectional level that we

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Speaker 3: really do want to talk about. This is a consistent thing,

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Speaker 3: but trying to live it out and not even realizing

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Speaker 3: you're in a crisis moment and also not realize not

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Speaker 3: being able to do anything about it. I joke about

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Speaker 3: the fact that I can do these things. I'm not

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Speaker 3: gonna lie. I've definitely gotten the privilege of actually being paid.

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Speaker 3: Still not being paid as much as our mail counterparts

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Speaker 3: that I guarantee, but still being paid a lot more

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Speaker 3: than what I was when I was working a job

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Speaker 3: that really really had a lot of emotional mental impact.

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Speaker 3: Not that this doesn't it does, but not to that

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Speaker 3: same level, knowing that I can actually get that done,

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Speaker 3: knowing that if it came down to it, yes, I'm

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Speaker 3: finally again getting to be, in a like be able

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Speaker 3: to address my issues with teeth because it seems to

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Speaker 3: be a privilege, which it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be

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Speaker 3: mental care. I care. Mental health should not be a privilege.

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Speaker 3: And that's again all right, cool, cool, Cool. I am

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Speaker 3: able to have the time to do these things because

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Speaker 3: I don't have children that I'm responsible for and scheduling

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Speaker 3: for them as well or paying for them as well.

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Speaker 3: I know this. I know that this is a privilege

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Speaker 3: beyond measure, and so for many people who are constantly

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Speaker 3: in crisis adding this to it, and especially again when

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Speaker 3: it comes to women, women of color, marginalized people's, this

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Speaker 3: is a whole different level. And I joke about what

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Speaker 3: it is, and we joke about it as a stereotype

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Speaker 3: because we do see it as a middle class privilege.

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Speaker 3: Having a midlife crisis is an upper middle class privilege,

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Speaker 3: and it's absurd.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you touched on something that we've talked

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Speaker 4: about a lot in coping with trauma and some unhealthy

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Speaker 4: coping mechanisms with trauma, which is control and like a

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Speaker 4: feeling of control and that you feel like.

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Speaker 2: All the stuff in your life is out of your control.

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Speaker 2: You can't fix all of these things, So buy a house, right, No,

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Speaker 2: make you feel better like that? That makes sense to me.

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Speaker 2: It is unfortunate that we feel so out of control.

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Speaker 2: There's so many aspects of our lives, but it does

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Speaker 2: make sense to me that having this moment of like

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Speaker 2: I need to do something that makes me feel like

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Speaker 2: I have some modicum of control in my life.

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Speaker 3: And again for women, those who are in the marginalized communities,

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Speaker 3: that is compounded by the responsibility that's given to you. Immediately. Yes,

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Speaker 3: white men, we are saying you have you have it easier,

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Speaker 3: so shut up, don't come out when it comes to

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Speaker 3: basic conversations like this. So one of the things in

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Speaker 3: the helpline article that I was reading, it does say

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Speaker 3: many other symptoms of midlife crisis overlap with depression, anxiety

404
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 3: disorders and hormonal imbalances. Again, they talked about menopause a

405
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 3: little bit and that there are like things that you

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Speaker 3: can do when it comes to medication, antidepresses, all of

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00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 3: that that if you truly need it. Sure like I'm

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Speaker 3: one of those who will always say if it's something

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Speaker 3: that you actually need and helps you go at it,

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Speaker 3: as long as it's not harming or you're not abusing it, great,

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Speaker 3: But there are some other ways they say that you

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Speaker 3: can offset this what they call midlife blues, which it's patronizing,

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Speaker 3: but okay, it says talk to a therapist. Once again,

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Speaker 3: We've talked about this before. How that is a privilege

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Speaker 3: in itself. I'd said it earlier. It's absurd, but it is,

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Speaker 3: and I'm sorry and I hate it. But if you

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Speaker 3: are able to do so, do it. Cognitive therapy, life coaching,

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00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 3: group therapy might be something that could help, especially when

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Speaker 3: it comes to grief, managing anxiety, and maybe even just

420
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Speaker 3: future planning. Who knows. Talking to your friends, if you

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00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,959
Speaker 3: have really good friends, it's nice as in fact, they

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Speaker 3: said in the same article, A twenty twelve study shows

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Speaker 3: that what many women know from firsthand experience midlife is

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Speaker 3: easier if you surrounded by a circle of friends. Women

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Speaker 3: with friends have a greater sense of well being than

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Speaker 3: those who don't. Not even family members have as great

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Speaker 3: an impact. And I feel like, yes, I can attest

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Speaker 3: to this. Again, Annie and Caroline were two of the

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Speaker 3: people I meet. Oh and Dominique of course immediately texted

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Speaker 3: like help, I'm going to buy one of these things.

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00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 3: And just having them be like okay, what was enough.

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Speaker 3: This was just like coming bringing me back to reality.

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Speaker 3: It was like, okay, you are correct, thank you very much.

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Speaker 3: I needed that. But I think that's a really big

435
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 3: part of it. And again for my parents. For my mom,

436
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 3: she didn't have friends. We talked about that earlier another episode.

437
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 3: She didn't have friends until after all her kids left,

438
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 3: and her friends were her kids. So that is also

439
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 3: a privileged thing as well, which makes me sad. Yeah,

440
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 3: it shouldn't have to be. But I know if all

441
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 3: you do is work, there's not so and then you

442
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 3: just want to come home and rest. There's so little

443
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 3: you can do about that. And that's again a different conversation.

444
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 3: Reconnect with nature. As I said, go touch the grass.

445
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 3: I have very muddy grass, but whatever, But we uh.

446
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 3: My partner has family in Florida near the beach. He

447
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 3: took me there to be like, I'm easy to calm

448
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 3: down and it did help. Talking about your home remedies

449
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 3: and healthy eating. Again, I'm not gonna say that's the thing.

450
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,439
Speaker 3: Is their suggestion. I don't know, but some people do

451
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 3: like hobbies. So if it's learning to bake bread, go

452
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 3: at it. Learning to plant gardens beautiful. I mean, that

453
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 3: has been two of the big things that I've seen

454
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 3: people do as self care. They need to be able

455
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 3: to care for their plants, or are being able to

456
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 3: learn to bake bread or doing these things. If that's

457
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 3: something you need, great. If you are someone who struggles

458
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 3: with eating and you want to figure out something healthy, cool,

459
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,640
Speaker 3: just do it in a manner that is showing love

460
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 3: to yourself period and not abiding by unattainable standards that

461
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: are set by society, which is stupid and usually the

462
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 3: meaning and very very false and damaging to women. Put

463
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 3: that in there. Write down what you've accomplished. You know

464
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 3: that's not a bad idea. Aie just got into shockma,

465
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 3: and then take steps toward a new future. I don't

466
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 3: know what that means talking about maybe hey, you are writing,

467
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 3: write that novel you've been talking about. Don't write that novel.

468
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 3: Toss out that novel. Whatever you need to do. Have

469
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 3: a cleansing party, you know, taking all the things that

470
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 3: you thought was bad in your life. Burn that in

471
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 3: a very contained environment. I don't know. Get into astrology

472
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 3: like me and tell me about my sign. Someone tell

473
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:28,959
Speaker 3: me about my side.

474
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 1: I have a friend for you.

475
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: Okay, cool hill, I would words up to a twenty six.

476
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 3: And then there are so many other things. Reading books again,

477
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 3: doing what is something that you love, whether it's taking

478
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 3: time off and again, maybe taking a bath, maybe that's

479
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,919
Speaker 3: your thing. Sitting, crocheting. I tried that, didn't get very

480
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 3: far with that, but okay, we'll by come back and

481
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 3: revisit this. Watching a favorite beloved movie, whatever you need,

482
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 3: reaching out to an old friend that you've missed, all

483
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 3: the good things. Some suggestions. But yeah, for those who

484
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 3: are with me, I love you, I'm thinking of you.

485
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 3: Don't buy that thing you don't need it's gonna be okay.

486
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,919
Speaker 3: Or do if it makes you happy.

487
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think the key is to like, not

488
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 2: do it on impulse, like.

489
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 3: Sure, think about it, take take a week before you actually.

490
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 2: Think about it, talk to people about it.

491
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 3: See, I don't think there's funny thing yet.

492
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, well there's time, but you know, give me a

493
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:35,800
Speaker 1: minute though. Yeah, well we'll converse about that later. But yes, yes, yes,

494
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 1: yes listeners.

495
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: If you have any experience with this, any ideas about this,

496
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 2: any thoughts, we would love to hear from you. Our

497
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 2: email is Stuffania mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You

498
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 2: can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or

499
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 2: on Instagram at stuff I Never Told You. Thanks always

500
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: start superducer Christina. Thank you, Christina, and thanks to you

501
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 2: for listening Stuff I've Never Told You. The protection of iHeartRadio.

502
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, if is it the aheart

503
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to favorite chips