WEBVTT - The REAL Reason You Feel Behind (It’s Not What You Think!) Use THIS Simple Reset to Make Confident Decisions 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:05.360 I always felt stuck behind and late until I did this. 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:10.399 If you're starting this year already feeling behind, you are 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:15.520 not alone, and more importantly, you are not behind. Let 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.800 me tell you a fact most people don't know. Studies 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:22.600 show that nearly seven out of ten adults feel behind 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:28.240 on their life timeline, behind in love, behind in their career, behind, financially, 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:32.760 behind where they should be by now. And here's the twist. 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:37.640 Everyone is comparing themselves to everyone else, and everyone thinks 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:42.559 they're losing. People fascinate me. The married people envy the 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:47.280 single people. The single people envy the married people. People 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:52.120 with careers envy people who are entrepreneurs, people who are entrepreneurs, 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:57.040 envy the people with stability. No one feels ahead. Everyone 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:00.680 feels behind. How many of you listening right now feel 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:04.360 like you're behind in one of these areas. You're starting 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:06.919 the year and you're already thinking, look at that person 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:09.679 they got promoted last year, Look at that person they're 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:12.480 making a difference. Look at that person they've got their job. 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:14.520 Look at that person they've got a few more followers 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:19.360 than me. Today, I want to show you number one, 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:24.800 why you feel behind psychologically and culturally. Number two why 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:31.039 your timeline is not late statistically and scientifically, and number three, 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:35.920 how to stop letting comparison ruin your year. I also 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:39.080 want to give you the steps to rebuild confidence, momentum, 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:44.200 and purpose all in this episode. This episode might be 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:47.440 one of the most important ones you hear all year. 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:51.520 Let's begin. Let's talk about the truth about why you 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:55.320 feel behind. There are three main reasons we feel behind, 0:01:55.800 --> 0:02:00.200 and none of them are your fault. Reason Number one, 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:04.960 we compare our insides to other people's outsides. There's something 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:12.359 called the highlight bias. You see people's weddings, promotions, vacations, homes, milestones, 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:16.880 but you never see their breakdowns, their failures, their doubts, 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:23.120 their setbacks, or their insecurities. Statistically, people overestimate how happy 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:29.120 others are and underestimate how happy they are. You're comparing 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:34.560 your confusion to someone else's filter. Now wonder you feel behind. 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:40.280 Stop comparing yourself to others. You don't know the battles 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:43.280 they hide or the bridges they had to burn to 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:48.320 get there. Stop comparing yourself to others. Your timeline is 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:53.079 custom made. Theirs was never designed to fit you. Stop 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:57.840 comparing yourself to others. Success looks different on everyone, and 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:02.320 so does the struggle. Stop comparing yourself to others. Your 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:07.320 progress is happening quietly internally, in ways no photo or 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:11.639 post can capture, and stop comparing yourself to others. You're 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:14.640 not here to match anyone. You're here to become the 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:20.200 person only you can be. So the reason we compare 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:25.720 ourselves is because we don't know enough context. If you 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:29.640 only see someone's post and assume you know them, you 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.560 know nothing. If you only see someone's tweet and assume 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:36.680 you know them, you know nothing. If you only see 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:40.160 someone's status update and think you know them, you know nothing. 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:44.040 When you envy someone, you have to learn to study them. 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:47.360 When you study someone, you get context. And when you 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:50.880 get context, you realize you're more likely in the same 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:56.160 place or even better off. Robin Roberts famously said if 0:03:56.200 --> 0:04:00.080 everyone throw their problems into a pile, that immediately he 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:05.119 grabbed theirs back. We compare the worst of our lives 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:09.200 to the best of everyone else's. Of course, you feel 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.880 behind when if you were actually able to get to 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:14.440 know people deeply. This is one of the reasons why 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:17.479 having a shallow understanding of lots of people is so 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:20.599 harmful because when you have a shallow understanding of everyone, 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:23.120 you think everyone's doing better. When you have a deeper 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:26.039 understanding of everyone, you recognize you're all kind of going 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:30.120 through the same thing. Reason number two. You were sold 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:35.200 a timeline that doesn't exist. Graduate by twenty two, career 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:39.280 by twenty five, married by thirty, kids by thirty five, 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:44.200 successful by thirty seven, fulfilled by forty. This timeline was 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:48.960 invented in the nineteen fifties and hasn't been real for decades. Today, 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:52.600 the average age of marriage is the highest it's been 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:57.800 in history. Most people change careers three to seven times. 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:02.720 People find their purpose in their thirties, fifties, even sixties. 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.720 The average age of a successful entrepreneur is not twenty one, 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:08.159 it's forty five. 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:10.320 You are not late. 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:16.559 The timeline you're comparing yourself to is outdated. You're not late. 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:20.440 You might be moving slower because you've had more to carry, 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:24.880 not because you're doing something wrong. You're not late. Half 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.679 the people you think are ahead of you just feel 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:32.159 as confused inside. You're not late. You're taking a real path, 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:35.560 not the imaginary one you thought you'd be on at eighteen. 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:40.559 You're not late. You're building your life while figuring yourself out, 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:44.920 and that takes time for everyone. See this idea that 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.480 there was a perfect time to have kids, a perfect 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:50.200 time to get married, a perfect time to win it. 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:58.080 Life isn't real. Everyone's timeline is absolutely different. And when 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:02.080 we tried to live our life based on what the 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:05.400 people around us are doing, think about how life would 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:08.359 go for a second, if you did everything at the 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:11.320 time everyone around you did it, how would that feel. 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:14.080 That means you'd have to rush getting married to someone 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:17.359 you don't love because you hadn't found them yet. You 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.560 had to rush having children because everyone else was having 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:22.360 them and you felt behind. If you do things that 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:25.719 you don't want to do just because you feel behind, 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:30.960 you will never be happy in your life because decisions 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:34.080 should be made when you're happy, when you're ready, when 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:38.040 you're peaceful, when you're content, when you're excited, not when 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:43.080 you're scared or anxious or nervous. Reason number three is 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:47.960 our brain is wired for falling behind anxiety you're Scientists 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:54.120 found that humans experienced something called temporal comparison stress. We 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:58.760 don't just compare ourselves to other people, We compare ourselves 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:02.960 to the person we thought we'd be by now. Think 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:06.359 about that for a second. You don't just feel behind 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:10.520 because of other people. You feel behind because of the 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:14.920 pressure you put on yourself. We feel behind not because 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:20.520 life is wrong, but because our expectations were unrealistic. We 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:24.720 feel behind because we thought we'd be in this position 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:28.000 by now, and everything else is just a reminder of 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:32.160 our inadequacy. But remember when you made that timeline, you 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:34.720 didn't really know that much. How many of us at 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:37.560 eighteen thought we knew when we were getting married. How 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:39.720 many of us at twenty five thought we knew when 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:42.120 we'd have kids. How many of us at fifteen thought 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:44.720 we knew when we'd be successful. But what was that 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.080 based on. It wasn't based on reality. 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:48.320 It was just an. 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:51.000 Imaginary, made up version of what we thought life was 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:55.320 going to be. Like, here's the truth. No one predicts 0:07:55.360 --> 0:08:01.720 their life accurately, not one single person. Your plan wasn't wrong, 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:06.200 It just didn't account for the fact that you're human, right. 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:10.640 Your plan wasn't weak. It's just that you didn't realize 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:14.960 there was so much more to life. Your plan wasn't 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:19.400 slow or unorganized, it was just you learned so much 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:23.040 more about yourself moving forward. Maybe you knew exactly what 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:25.280 you wanted to be at eighteen, but then when you 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:28.080 actually became it and you did that job, you realized 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:31.280 there was nothing like what you wanted. There's nothing wrong 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:33.080 with that. You didn't make a mistake, you didn't go 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:37.800 off track. You actually just discovered what that passion felt like. 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:41.160 In reality. I grew up in my teens thinking I 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.840 may want to be a graphic designer or an art 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:46.720 direct I loved it. I never actually did that for work. 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:48.600 I used it a lot as a hobby. I never 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:50.000 actually did it for work, But I think if I 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:52.280 would have, I would have figured out quite quickly that 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:55.480 that wasn't me. I ended up becoming a consultant. That 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.720 was definitely not me. But if I sit there and 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.280 I go wow, and I was there at this point, 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:03.800 I was twenty six years old. I was a consultant. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.640 It wasn't what I wanted to do. And if I 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:09.280 thought to myself, I messed up, I'm behind. What can 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:12.880 I do now, I'll never be here today. I'm here 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.800 with you today because at twenty eight I decided to 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:17.840 move in the direction of what I cared about. 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:40.160 And you can too. 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:45.440 Let me give you some real evidence. Most people arrive 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:49.920 later than you think. Research shows that the average person 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:54.800 finds career clarity in their mid thirties. The average person 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:59.360 hits financial stability in their late thirties to mid forties. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:05.719 Creative breakthroughs often happen around age forty to fifty. Emotional 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:10.000 maturity peaks around forty five to fifty five. If anything, 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:13.280 you might be ahead of the schedule, but you're definitely 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:16.960 not behind. The evidence shows that just because we hear 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:19.320 a couple of stories of a twenty one year old 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.960 billionaire and a thirty year old who's really mature, and 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.800 a thirty five year old who saved the planet, we 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:29.800 start measuring ourselves against these one percent or even less 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:33.080 than not recognizing the majority of people are in exactly 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:36.840 the same space we are. Here's some more evidence life 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:40.480 satisfaction has a use shape. Studies across one hundred and 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:45.520 thirty countries show a consistent pattern. Life satisfaction dips in 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:50.080 your twenties and thirties, then rises in your forties, fifties, 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:55.479 and sixties, Meaning feeling lost now isn't a flaw. It's universal. 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:59.000 It's part of the human curve, and the reason why 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:01.480 I say that is because your twenties and thirties are 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.000 also when you put so much pressure on yourself. You 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:07.000 care more about what people think, You think you should 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:09.679 be somewhere else, You care more about what other people 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.040 are doing. As you start to lose that as you 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.680 get older, it just has less of a hold in 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.400 control over you. But if we were able to step 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.040 back and go, I want to put positive pressure on 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:23.960 myself but not break myself. It's almost like being in 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:25.840 the gym and lifting weights. You want to lift enough 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:29.439 to challenge yourself and push yourself, but not to hurt yourself. 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.520 Sometimes the pressure we put on our mind is hurting us, 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:37.360 not helping us. And here's even some more evidence late 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:41.840 bloomers are more common than the early ones. Oprah got 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:45.840 her show at thirty two. Vera Wang became a designer 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:50.640 at forty. Tony Morrison published her first book at thirty nine. 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:56.120 Ray Krok franchised McDonald's at fifty two. Success is not early. 0:11:56.760 --> 0:12:02.079 Success is aligned. You're not behind you unfolding. If all 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:05.480 of those people just felt they were behind the whole time, 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.000 they wouldn't have been present enough to capture the opportunity 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:12.600 at that time. Your goal is not to think about 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:14.840 whether you're ahead or behind. And here's the scary thing. 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:18.520 Here's actually the biggest mistake we make. If you believe 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.320 you're a head, it means you'll fall behind one day, 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:24.200 And if you feel you're behind, you'll always want to 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:27.600 be ahead, but then scared that someone else will get ahead. 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:32.079 It's a slippery slope to think that everything is a 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:35.840 ranking system. It is a slippery slope to live that way, 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:39.000 to think that you're ahead or behind, because then you'll 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:41.800 feel worse when you're behind. You'll feel insecure when you're 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:46.400 at the top. If people feel that life is a race, 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:50.440 you'll feel insecure and anxious at the top, and you'll 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:54.440 feel depressed and disappointed at the bottom. When you realize 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:57.480 that life is not a race, it is simply your path, 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:01.480 you don't feel the insecurity of being number one, and 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:05.880 you don't feel the depression of being lost. You recognize 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.079 you a where you're meant to be doing what you're 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:12.120 supposed to do. Because we have to recognize that feeling 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:16.280 behind can be dangerous. When you believe you're behind, you 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:20.640 do three things. Number One, you rush decisions you should 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:26.400 take slowly wrong jobs, wrong relationships, wrong priorities. Number two. 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:30.920 You quit things too early. You assume slow progress means 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:35.160 wrong direction. Number three, you stop enjoying the life you 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:40.920 actually have. You live inside imaginary pressure instead of real possibility. 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:45.160 Feeling behind doesn't speed you up. It steals your piece 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:47.360 and sabotages your progress. 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:48.560 So what do we do? 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.480 How do you stop feeling behind? Here are the practical 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:58.400 frameworks that actually work. Framework number one. Compare less, connect more. 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:02.360 Don't ask where where are they compared to me? Ask 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:07.320 where am I compared to yesterday? Your only real competition 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:12.120 is the person you were twenty four hours ago. This 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:15.040 is one of the best mindsets I could possibly give. You. 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:20.120 Only measure yourself based on how you're growing compared to 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.200 where you want to be and who you are. Stop 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:25.840 living your life thinking about where everyone else is or 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.160 what you thought you'd be at fifteen and now you're 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:32.040 thirty years old. Have you grown since yesterday? Have you 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:34.640 grown since last week? Are you taking the steps to 0:14:34.680 --> 0:14:38.200 do that? That's where your focus should be. Framework number two. 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:42.080 Rewrite your timeline. Take a piece of paper and write, 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.680 my life is not late, it's layered. And now ask 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:51.320 yourself what did I survive? What did I learn? What 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:55.400 did I build internally that no one can see? When 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:59.520 I lived as a month for three years, it wasn't 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:06.120 available to everyone else. Everyone thought I was behind, Everyone 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:10.640 thought I was lost. Everyone around me moved forward, but 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.360 I was making real internal progress that no one else 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.880 could see. That was progress. It was invisible, but real. 0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:21.600 And most of your growth happens before anyone sees the results. 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:25.160 So just because everyone can't see what you're doing, it 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:28.760 doesn't mean that it's not valuable. And not everything that 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:32.440 is valuable can be seen, and not everything that is 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:36.440 seen is valuable. Just because you can see what someone's 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.800 doing in the success they're having, that doesn't mean they're ahead, 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:44.560 because you could be growing underground and you're about to grow. 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:47.840 I met so many people when I first started creating 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:52.359 content who are far ahead of me and followers far ahead, 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:56.080 and they didn't take me seriously because they didn't think 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:59.280 that I would take it seriously. I wanted to collaborate 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:00.680 with them, I wanted to work with them, but they 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:02.360 didn't want to do that with me because I wasn't 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:06.200 big enough, not realizing that if we think we're bigger, 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:10.880 or better or ahead or behind will never grow? Framework 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:16.160 number three, identify your season. You're not behind, You're in 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:20.480 a season. Are you in a season of healing? Are 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:27.760 you in a season of rebuilding? Learning, transitioning, p resting, experimenting. 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:33.400 You can't compare your season one to someone else's season seven. Also, 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:37.640 all of these cycles have a different pace. Healing has 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:42.120 a different pace to transitioning. Transitioning has a different pace 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:48.920 to performing. Performing has a different pace to growing, learning, building? 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:52.880 Which season are you in? Get really clear about what 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:56.320 twenty twenty six is about for you? Is twenty twenty 0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:58.880 six about healing, because then that's going to look very 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:02.440 different to someone who's building. I've had years when we 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:05.960 have been planting seeds, and I won't see the success 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.240 of that in this year. I'll only see it in 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:11.040 the year after. Is my year of failure? Because I 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:17.440 didn't see it? Definitely not. Framework number four. Define progress 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:22.480 as consistency, not speed. If you take one step every 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:25.880 day this year, you'll be three hundred and sixty five 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:32.160 steps ahead by next January. That's transformation, quiet and consistence. 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.680 Progress is a direction, not a deadline. So let's talk 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:38.959 about speed. Let's say for one month you're at a 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.399 speed ten out of ten, but for the rest of 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:43.120 the year, you're at a zero out of ten. Guess 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:44.680 what you were at five out of ten for the 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.520 whole year. But if you are just a consistent six 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:51.240 or seven, you're already beating the speed of one month 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:56.200 at ten out of ten. Consistency beats speed. If you'll 0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:59.200 eventually run out of speed, if you'll run out of 0:17:59.240 --> 0:18:02.080 speed and run out of steam, consistency is always going 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:07.200 to win. Framework Number five. Ask the question that changes everything. 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.000 Instead of asking why am I behind? Ask what is 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:16.000 this season preparing me for? The answer will change the 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:20.720 way you see your timeline. You have to reframe it. 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.560 You have to look at it from a different angle. 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:26.920 There have been so many years where everyone else could 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.240 think I haven't achieved anything, and I'm not moving forward, 0:18:29.359 --> 0:18:32.200 but we're planning the seeds for next year. There are 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:35.640 times in my life where I thought I was falling behind, 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:40.679 but now I realize I was actually falling into place. 0:18:41.080 --> 0:18:43.640 I want to share with you the five practical steps 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:48.119 to take this year. Number one, make a this is 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:52.880 my season statement. Define where you are and own it. 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.520 Don't worry about anyone else's season. What season are you in? 0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:02.280 Number two remove three social media accounts that trigger comparison. 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:06.800 Protect your mind. If you keep comparing yourself to everyone, 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:09.560 you will always feel behind. It is not your fault, 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:13.159 it's how we're wired. Number three set one goal for 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:18.520 ninety days, not the year. Shorter cycles equals more wins, 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:24.560 more progress. Number four track actions, not outcomes. We often 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:27.199 think the outcome decides whether we did something right. Let 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:29.240 me give you an example. Let's say you work really 0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:34.520 hard on something and the result goes badly. Were you wrong? 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:37.040 Because let's say you didn't work hard at all and 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:39.960 the result went well, were you right? We have to 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:42.679 focus on our action, not just the outcome, because if 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.399 you did everything right and you continue to do that, 0:19:45.440 --> 0:19:47.880 you will get the right outcome. But if you rely 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:52.720 on chance or hope or luck, you can't make that impactful. 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:58.000 Outcomes belong to time. Actions belong to you, and this 0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:02.640 one celebrate invisible pro. I was giving a talk at 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:07.520 my company's holiday party recently, and I shared this with them. 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:11.040 I shared that I recognize all the things that they 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:15.159 do that I see, but more importantly, I want to 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:18.600 honor all the things that I don't see. I believe. 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.199 There is so much invisible work that you do, that 0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:23.879 I do, that we all do, that is never seen, 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:28.280 and it's your job to try and celebrate it for yourself. 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:36.119 Your internal transformation will always come before external results. Always. 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:40.120 Let me leave you with this. You are not behind. 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:44.720 You're learning lessons now that others will have to learn later. 0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:48.840 You're not behind. You're doing your best in a life 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:54.080 that hasn't always been easy. You're not behind. Everyone's figuring 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:59.000 things out privately while pretending they're ahead. You're not behind. 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:02.119 You're just on a timeline no one has ever lived before. 0:21:03.000 --> 0:21:07.160 Stop punishing yourself for not being where you thought you'd be. 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:12.920 Start appreciating yourself for not giving up, because one year 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:17.119 from now you won't be behind. You'll just be grateful 0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:21.760 that you got started. Your path is not delayed, it's deliberate, 0:21:22.200 --> 0:21:25.560 and this is your year to walk it with confidence. 0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:28.080 I'm wushing you all the best for the year ahead. 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:31.639 Remember forever in your corner and always rooting for you. 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:35.119 If you love this podcast, you love my episode with 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:38.879 Lewis Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you should 0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:43.480 stop chasing society's definition of success and how to be 0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:46.840 more intentional with your goals. You don't want to miss it. 0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:49.640 Like it's not about being perfect. It's about just every day, 0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:51.520 one step at a time, trying to be better, trying 0:21:51.520 --> 0:21:53.680 to do more. I'm learning a lot about myself. I 0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:56.480 have to break myself down in order to be out 0:21:56.480 --> 0:21:57.080 to be better.