1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: I always felt stuck behind and late until I did this. 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 1: If you're starting this year already feeling behind, you are 3 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: not alone, and more importantly, you are not behind. Let 4 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 1: me tell you a fact most people don't know. Studies 5 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,600 Speaker 1: show that nearly seven out of ten adults feel behind 6 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: on their life timeline, behind in love, behind in their career, behind, financially, 7 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: behind where they should be by now. And here's the twist. 8 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: Everyone is comparing themselves to everyone else, and everyone thinks 9 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,559 Speaker 1: they're losing. People fascinate me. The married people envy the 10 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: single people. The single people envy the married people. People 11 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: with careers envy people who are entrepreneurs, people who are entrepreneurs, 12 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: envy the people with stability. No one feels ahead. Everyone 13 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: feels behind. How many of you listening right now feel 14 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: like you're behind in one of these areas. You're starting 15 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,919 Speaker 1: the year and you're already thinking, look at that person 16 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 1: they got promoted last year, Look at that person they're 17 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: making a difference. Look at that person they've got their job. 18 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: Look at that person they've got a few more followers 19 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: than me. Today, I want to show you number one, 20 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: why you feel behind psychologically and culturally. Number two why 21 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: your timeline is not late statistically and scientifically, and number three, 22 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: how to stop letting comparison ruin your year. I also 23 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 1: want to give you the steps to rebuild confidence, momentum, 24 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: and purpose all in this episode. This episode might be 25 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: one of the most important ones you hear all year. 26 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: Let's begin. Let's talk about the truth about why you 27 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: feel behind. There are three main reasons we feel behind, 28 00:01:55,800 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: and none of them are your fault. Reason Number one, 29 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: we compare our insides to other people's outsides. There's something 30 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:12,359 Speaker 1: called the highlight bias. You see people's weddings, promotions, vacations, homes, milestones, 31 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: but you never see their breakdowns, their failures, their doubts, 32 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: their setbacks, or their insecurities. Statistically, people overestimate how happy 33 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: others are and underestimate how happy they are. You're comparing 34 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: your confusion to someone else's filter. Now wonder you feel behind. 35 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: Stop comparing yourself to others. You don't know the battles 36 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: they hide or the bridges they had to burn to 37 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: get there. Stop comparing yourself to others. Your timeline is 38 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: custom made. Theirs was never designed to fit you. Stop 39 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: comparing yourself to others. Success looks different on everyone, and 40 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: so does the struggle. Stop comparing yourself to others. Your 41 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: progress is happening quietly internally, in ways no photo or 42 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:11,639 Speaker 1: post can capture, and stop comparing yourself to others. You're 43 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 1: not here to match anyone. You're here to become the 44 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: person only you can be. So the reason we compare 45 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 1: ourselves is because we don't know enough context. If you 46 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: only see someone's post and assume you know them, you 47 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: know nothing. If you only see someone's tweet and assume 48 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: you know them, you know nothing. If you only see 49 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: someone's status update and think you know them, you know nothing. 50 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: When you envy someone, you have to learn to study them. 51 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: When you study someone, you get context. And when you 52 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: get context, you realize you're more likely in the same 53 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: place or even better off. Robin Roberts famously said if 54 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:00,080 Speaker 1: everyone throw their problems into a pile, that immediately he 55 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:05,119 Speaker 1: grabbed theirs back. We compare the worst of our lives 56 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: to the best of everyone else's. Of course, you feel 57 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: behind when if you were actually able to get to 58 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: know people deeply. This is one of the reasons why 59 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,479 Speaker 1: having a shallow understanding of lots of people is so 60 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: harmful because when you have a shallow understanding of everyone, 61 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: you think everyone's doing better. When you have a deeper 62 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: understanding of everyone, you recognize you're all kind of going 63 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: through the same thing. Reason number two. You were sold 64 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: a timeline that doesn't exist. Graduate by twenty two, career 65 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:39,280 Speaker 1: by twenty five, married by thirty, kids by thirty five, 66 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 1: successful by thirty seven, fulfilled by forty. This timeline was 67 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: invented in the nineteen fifties and hasn't been real for decades. Today, 68 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 1: the average age of marriage is the highest it's been 69 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: in history. Most people change careers three to seven times. 70 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: People find their purpose in their thirties, fifties, even sixties. 71 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 1: The average age of a successful entrepreneur is not twenty one, 72 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 1: it's forty five. 73 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 2: You are not late. 74 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:16,559 Speaker 1: The timeline you're comparing yourself to is outdated. You're not late. 75 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: You might be moving slower because you've had more to carry, 76 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: not because you're doing something wrong. You're not late. Half 77 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,679 Speaker 1: the people you think are ahead of you just feel 78 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 1: as confused inside. You're not late. You're taking a real path, 79 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: not the imaginary one you thought you'd be on at eighteen. 80 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,559 Speaker 1: You're not late. You're building your life while figuring yourself out, 81 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: and that takes time for everyone. See this idea that 82 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,480 Speaker 1: there was a perfect time to have kids, a perfect 83 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: time to get married, a perfect time to win it. 84 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: Life isn't real. Everyone's timeline is absolutely different. And when 85 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: we tried to live our life based on what the 86 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: people around us are doing, think about how life would 87 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,359 Speaker 1: go for a second, if you did everything at the 88 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: time everyone around you did it, how would that feel. 89 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: That means you'd have to rush getting married to someone 90 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 1: you don't love because you hadn't found them yet. You 91 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: had to rush having children because everyone else was having 92 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: them and you felt behind. If you do things that 93 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: you don't want to do just because you feel behind, 94 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: you will never be happy in your life because decisions 95 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: should be made when you're happy, when you're ready, when 96 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 1: you're peaceful, when you're content, when you're excited, not when 97 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: you're scared or anxious or nervous. Reason number three is 98 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: our brain is wired for falling behind anxiety you're Scientists 99 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: found that humans experienced something called temporal comparison stress. We 100 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: don't just compare ourselves to other people, We compare ourselves 101 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: to the person we thought we'd be by now. Think 102 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,359 Speaker 1: about that for a second. You don't just feel behind 103 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: because of other people. You feel behind because of the 104 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: pressure you put on yourself. We feel behind not because 105 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: life is wrong, but because our expectations were unrealistic. We 106 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 1: feel behind because we thought we'd be in this position 107 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:28,000 Speaker 1: by now, and everything else is just a reminder of 108 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: our inadequacy. But remember when you made that timeline, you 109 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: didn't really know that much. How many of us at 110 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: eighteen thought we knew when we were getting married. How 111 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: many of us at twenty five thought we knew when 112 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: we'd have kids. How many of us at fifteen thought 113 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: we knew when we'd be successful. But what was that 114 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: based on. It wasn't based on reality. 115 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 2: It was just an. 116 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: Imaginary, made up version of what we thought life was 117 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: going to be. Like, here's the truth. No one predicts 118 00:07:55,360 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: their life accurately, not one single person. Your plan wasn't wrong, 119 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: It just didn't account for the fact that you're human, right. 120 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: Your plan wasn't weak. It's just that you didn't realize 121 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: there was so much more to life. Your plan wasn't 122 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: slow or unorganized, it was just you learned so much 123 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: more about yourself moving forward. Maybe you knew exactly what 124 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: you wanted to be at eighteen, but then when you 125 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: actually became it and you did that job, you realized 126 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: there was nothing like what you wanted. There's nothing wrong 127 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,080 Speaker 1: with that. You didn't make a mistake, you didn't go 128 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: off track. You actually just discovered what that passion felt like. 129 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: In reality. I grew up in my teens thinking I 130 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: may want to be a graphic designer or an art 131 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 1: direct I loved it. I never actually did that for work. 132 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: I used it a lot as a hobby. I never 133 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: actually did it for work, But I think if I 134 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 1: would have, I would have figured out quite quickly that 135 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: that wasn't me. I ended up becoming a consultant. That 136 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: was definitely not me. But if I sit there and 137 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: I go wow, and I was there at this point, 138 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: I was twenty six years old. I was a consultant. 139 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: It wasn't what I wanted to do. And if I 140 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: thought to myself, I messed up, I'm behind. What can 141 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: I do now, I'll never be here today. I'm here 142 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: with you today because at twenty eight I decided to 143 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: move in the direction of what I cared about. 144 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 2: And you can too. 145 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: Let me give you some real evidence. Most people arrive 146 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 1: later than you think. Research shows that the average person 147 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: finds career clarity in their mid thirties. The average person 148 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: hits financial stability in their late thirties to mid forties. 149 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:05,719 Speaker 1: Creative breakthroughs often happen around age forty to fifty. Emotional 150 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: maturity peaks around forty five to fifty five. If anything, 151 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: you might be ahead of the schedule, but you're definitely 152 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 1: not behind. The evidence shows that just because we hear 153 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: a couple of stories of a twenty one year old 154 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,960 Speaker 1: billionaire and a thirty year old who's really mature, and 155 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: a thirty five year old who saved the planet, we 156 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 1: start measuring ourselves against these one percent or even less 157 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: than not recognizing the majority of people are in exactly 158 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 1: the same space we are. Here's some more evidence life 159 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: satisfaction has a use shape. Studies across one hundred and 160 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: thirty countries show a consistent pattern. Life satisfaction dips in 161 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: your twenties and thirties, then rises in your forties, fifties, 162 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:55,479 Speaker 1: and sixties, Meaning feeling lost now isn't a flaw. It's universal. 163 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: It's part of the human curve, and the reason why 164 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: I say that is because your twenties and thirties are 165 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: also when you put so much pressure on yourself. You 166 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: care more about what people think, You think you should 167 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: be somewhere else, You care more about what other people 168 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 1: are doing. As you start to lose that as you 169 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 1: get older, it just has less of a hold in 170 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 1: control over you. But if we were able to step 171 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 1: back and go, I want to put positive pressure on 172 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: myself but not break myself. It's almost like being in 173 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,840 Speaker 1: the gym and lifting weights. You want to lift enough 174 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 1: to challenge yourself and push yourself, but not to hurt yourself. 175 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: Sometimes the pressure we put on our mind is hurting us, 176 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 1: not helping us. And here's even some more evidence late 177 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: bloomers are more common than the early ones. Oprah got 178 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 1: her show at thirty two. Vera Wang became a designer 179 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: at forty. Tony Morrison published her first book at thirty nine. 180 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: Ray Krok franchised McDonald's at fifty two. Success is not early. 181 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:02,079 Speaker 1: Success is aligned. You're not behind you unfolding. If all 182 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: of those people just felt they were behind the whole time, 183 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: they wouldn't have been present enough to capture the opportunity 184 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 1: at that time. Your goal is not to think about 185 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: whether you're ahead or behind. And here's the scary thing. 186 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: Here's actually the biggest mistake we make. If you believe 187 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: you're a head, it means you'll fall behind one day, 188 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 1: And if you feel you're behind, you'll always want to 189 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: be ahead, but then scared that someone else will get ahead. 190 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:32,079 Speaker 1: It's a slippery slope to think that everything is a 191 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 1: ranking system. It is a slippery slope to live that way, 192 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: to think that you're ahead or behind, because then you'll 193 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: feel worse when you're behind. You'll feel insecure when you're 194 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: at the top. If people feel that life is a race, 195 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 1: you'll feel insecure and anxious at the top, and you'll 196 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 1: feel depressed and disappointed at the bottom. When you realize 197 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: that life is not a race, it is simply your path, 198 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: you don't feel the insecurity of being number one, and 199 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 1: you don't feel the depression of being lost. You recognize 200 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,079 Speaker 1: you a where you're meant to be doing what you're 201 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: supposed to do. Because we have to recognize that feeling 202 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: behind can be dangerous. When you believe you're behind, you 203 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 1: do three things. Number One, you rush decisions you should 204 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: take slowly wrong jobs, wrong relationships, wrong priorities. Number two. 205 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 1: You quit things too early. You assume slow progress means 206 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: wrong direction. Number three, you stop enjoying the life you 207 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 1: actually have. You live inside imaginary pressure instead of real possibility. 208 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 1: Feeling behind doesn't speed you up. It steals your piece 209 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 1: and sabotages your progress. 210 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 2: So what do we do? 211 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: How do you stop feeling behind? Here are the practical 212 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 1: frameworks that actually work. Framework number one. Compare less, connect more. 213 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: Don't ask where where are they compared to me? Ask 214 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:07,320 Speaker 1: where am I compared to yesterday? Your only real competition 215 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: is the person you were twenty four hours ago. This 216 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: is one of the best mindsets I could possibly give. You. 217 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 1: Only measure yourself based on how you're growing compared to 218 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: where you want to be and who you are. Stop 219 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 1: living your life thinking about where everyone else is or 220 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: what you thought you'd be at fifteen and now you're 221 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:32,040 Speaker 1: thirty years old. Have you grown since yesterday? Have you 222 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: grown since last week? Are you taking the steps to 223 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: do that? That's where your focus should be. Framework number two. 224 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: Rewrite your timeline. Take a piece of paper and write, 225 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: my life is not late, it's layered. And now ask 226 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 1: yourself what did I survive? What did I learn? What 227 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 1: did I build internally that no one can see? When 228 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: I lived as a month for three years, it wasn't 229 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: available to everyone else. Everyone thought I was behind, Everyone 230 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 1: thought I was lost. Everyone around me moved forward, but 231 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: I was making real internal progress that no one else 232 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: could see. That was progress. It was invisible, but real. 233 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 1: And most of your growth happens before anyone sees the results. 234 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 1: So just because everyone can't see what you're doing, it 235 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that it's not valuable. And not everything that 236 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: is valuable can be seen, and not everything that is 237 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: seen is valuable. Just because you can see what someone's 238 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: doing in the success they're having, that doesn't mean they're ahead, 239 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: because you could be growing underground and you're about to grow. 240 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: I met so many people when I first started creating 241 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:52,359 Speaker 1: content who are far ahead of me and followers far ahead, 242 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: and they didn't take me seriously because they didn't think 243 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: that I would take it seriously. I wanted to collaborate 244 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: with them, I wanted to work with them, but they 245 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 1: didn't want to do that with me because I wasn't 246 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: big enough, not realizing that if we think we're bigger, 247 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: or better or ahead or behind will never grow? Framework 248 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: number three, identify your season. You're not behind, You're in 249 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: a season. Are you in a season of healing? Are 250 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: you in a season of rebuilding? Learning, transitioning, p resting, experimenting. 251 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: You can't compare your season one to someone else's season seven. Also, 252 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: all of these cycles have a different pace. Healing has 253 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: a different pace to transitioning. Transitioning has a different pace 254 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 1: to performing. Performing has a different pace to growing, learning, building? 255 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: Which season are you in? Get really clear about what 256 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: twenty twenty six is about for you? Is twenty twenty 257 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 1: six about healing, because then that's going to look very 258 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 1: different to someone who's building. I've had years when we 259 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: have been planting seeds, and I won't see the success 260 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 1: of that in this year. I'll only see it in 261 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: the year after. Is my year of failure? Because I 262 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:17,440 Speaker 1: didn't see it? Definitely not. Framework number four. Define progress 263 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: as consistency, not speed. If you take one step every 264 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 1: day this year, you'll be three hundred and sixty five 265 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 1: steps ahead by next January. That's transformation, quiet and consistence. 266 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,680 Speaker 1: Progress is a direction, not a deadline. So let's talk 267 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,959 Speaker 1: about speed. Let's say for one month you're at a 268 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 1: speed ten out of ten, but for the rest of 269 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,120 Speaker 1: the year, you're at a zero out of ten. Guess 270 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 1: what you were at five out of ten for the 271 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 1: whole year. But if you are just a consistent six 272 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: or seven, you're already beating the speed of one month 273 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 1: at ten out of ten. Consistency beats speed. If you'll 274 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 1: eventually run out of speed, if you'll run out of 275 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: speed and run out of steam, consistency is always going 276 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 1: to win. Framework Number five. Ask the question that changes everything. 277 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 1: Instead of asking why am I behind? Ask what is 278 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,000 Speaker 1: this season preparing me for? The answer will change the 279 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 1: way you see your timeline. You have to reframe it. 280 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,560 Speaker 1: You have to look at it from a different angle. 281 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,920 Speaker 1: There have been so many years where everyone else could 282 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 1: think I haven't achieved anything, and I'm not moving forward, 283 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 1: but we're planning the seeds for next year. There are 284 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 1: times in my life where I thought I was falling behind, 285 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:40,679 Speaker 1: but now I realize I was actually falling into place. 286 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,640 Speaker 1: I want to share with you the five practical steps 287 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: to take this year. Number one, make a this is 288 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:52,880 Speaker 1: my season statement. Define where you are and own it. 289 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 1: Don't worry about anyone else's season. What season are you in? 290 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: Number two remove three social media accounts that trigger comparison. 291 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: Protect your mind. If you keep comparing yourself to everyone, 292 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: you will always feel behind. It is not your fault, 293 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: it's how we're wired. Number three set one goal for 294 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:18,520 Speaker 1: ninety days, not the year. Shorter cycles equals more wins, 295 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: more progress. Number four track actions, not outcomes. We often 296 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,199 Speaker 1: think the outcome decides whether we did something right. Let 297 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 1: me give you an example. Let's say you work really 298 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:34,520 Speaker 1: hard on something and the result goes badly. Were you wrong? 299 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,040 Speaker 1: Because let's say you didn't work hard at all and 300 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: the result went well, were you right? We have to 301 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,679 Speaker 1: focus on our action, not just the outcome, because if 302 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 1: you did everything right and you continue to do that, 303 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 1: you will get the right outcome. But if you rely 304 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: on chance or hope or luck, you can't make that impactful. 305 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 1: Outcomes belong to time. Actions belong to you, and this 306 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:02,640 Speaker 1: one celebrate invisible pro. I was giving a talk at 307 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: my company's holiday party recently, and I shared this with them. 308 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: I shared that I recognize all the things that they 309 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:15,159 Speaker 1: do that I see, but more importantly, I want to 310 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: honor all the things that I don't see. I believe. 311 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,199 Speaker 1: There is so much invisible work that you do, that 312 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: I do, that we all do, that is never seen, 313 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 1: and it's your job to try and celebrate it for yourself. 314 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 1: Your internal transformation will always come before external results. Always. 315 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,120 Speaker 1: Let me leave you with this. You are not behind. 316 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: You're learning lessons now that others will have to learn later. 317 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: You're not behind. You're doing your best in a life 318 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: that hasn't always been easy. You're not behind. Everyone's figuring 319 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 1: things out privately while pretending they're ahead. You're not behind. 320 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,119 Speaker 1: You're just on a timeline no one has ever lived before. 321 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 1: Stop punishing yourself for not being where you thought you'd be. 322 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 1: Start appreciating yourself for not giving up, because one year 323 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 1: from now you won't be behind. You'll just be grateful 324 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: that you got started. Your path is not delayed, it's deliberate, 325 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 1: and this is your year to walk it with confidence. 326 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: I'm wushing you all the best for the year ahead. 327 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 1: Remember forever in your corner and always rooting for you. 328 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 1: If you love this podcast, you love my episode with 329 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 1: Lewis Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you should 330 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 1: stop chasing society's definition of success and how to be 331 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 1: more intentional with your goals. You don't want to miss it. 332 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,640 Speaker 2: Like it's not about being perfect. It's about just every day, 333 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 2: one step at a time, trying to be better, trying 334 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,680 Speaker 2: to do more. I'm learning a lot about myself. I 335 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 2: have to break myself down in order to be out 336 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 2: to be better.