1
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:12,240
Speaker 1: Happy holidays everyone. We're back. We're back with the tradition

2
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:17,360
Speaker 1: that won't quit, or it would be on me to

3
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,919
Speaker 1: do it. And I'm scared too, and so I won't quit.

4
00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:26,639
Speaker 1: It'll keep going forever. Welcome to Santa University seven. My

5
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,720
Speaker 1: name is Jamie Long. This is the seventh time we've

6
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,199
Speaker 1: done this. It made me physically sick. I kept being like,

7
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,200
Speaker 1: that can't be true. It's true. It's true. We started

8
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:41,440
Speaker 1: in twenty seventeen and here we are, so welcome to

9
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:46,440
Speaker 1: the Santa University expanded family. We've got a doozy this year.

10
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,080
Speaker 1: I was thinking, you know these scripts, get Santa University

11
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,280
Speaker 1: if this is your first time listening. Is my seven

12
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:58,440
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty page script about a university full of Santa's.

13
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,120
Speaker 1: We're a forty thousand in roll every year and only

14
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,720
Speaker 1: one makes it to the end of the year. The

15
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,720
Speaker 1: protagonist is a guy named Dan Santa. You'll learn more

16
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:11,640
Speaker 1: about him in a little bit. It's a musical. It's

17
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:17,080
Speaker 1: a slasher and this year it's a commentary. Some years

18
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,399
Speaker 1: at Santa University. It's h I'm not thinking at all.

19
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,520
Speaker 1: I've got no brain cells in my head. This year

20
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,600
Speaker 1: we're getting thoughtful, and I think that you're gonna walk

21
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:32,720
Speaker 1: away from this feeling not just baffled, but changed. So

22
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,760
Speaker 1: let's get started. My name is Jamie. I will be

23
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:44,720
Speaker 1: reading the human written action lines in this year's script.

24
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:46,560
Speaker 1: How should we?

25
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,400
Speaker 2: How should we do this?

26
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:52,000
Speaker 1: Let's go. Let's Caitlyn. Caitlyn kick us off.

27
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,560
Speaker 3: Hello. Hi, I'm Caitlin, and I will be reading the

28
00:01:55,640 --> 00:02:01,480
Speaker 3: part of Kevin. I believe well, I won't spoil anything Kevin.

29
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,360
Speaker 3: We'll just say that, as well as reprising my role

30
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,000
Speaker 3: as Sully.

31
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:08,400
Speaker 1: Miles.

32
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,919
Speaker 4: Hi, I'm Miles, and I'm playing Dan Santa.

33
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,680
Speaker 1: Wow, the man himself.

34
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:20,720
Speaker 5: Magpie Hi, I'm Magpie. I'll be reading too many DVDs Santa,

35
00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,720
Speaker 5: as well as all of the AI action lines that

36
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,200
Speaker 5: were not written by a human because I'm also not

37
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 5: a human so it makes sense.

38
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:36,680
Speaker 1: Wow, Angel Catherine, I have some big shoes to fill

39
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:42,160
Speaker 1: this year. I am reading Dean Santa, huge debut year Danel.

40
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,440
Speaker 6: Hi, I am Daniel, and I am reading Mole Santa.

41
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,440
Speaker 1: Another new character. We're very excited. Sharene.

42
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,240
Speaker 2: I'm Sharene and I'm going to be reprising my role

43
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:58,880
Speaker 2: as Intellect Santa classic character Joelle.

44
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,120
Speaker 7: Hi, I'm Joel Monique. You'll find me playing Ai, Dan, Santa,

45
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,880
Speaker 7: Cool Santa, and Jill Santa.

46
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,400
Speaker 1: As we'll talk about I made a huge mistake.

47
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:22,959
Speaker 8: Your turn, and I'll be playing Ai Jamie, a role

48
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,320
Speaker 8: I was born to play, and Samantha Jones.

49
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,280
Speaker 1: The second role you were born to play.

50
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:36,880
Speaker 9: Honeys Hi, I am in a host nine. I'm reprising

51
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:42,760
Speaker 9: my role of Gal Santa Sarah.

52
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,800
Speaker 2: I'm Sarah, and I will be playing the role of

53
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,480
Speaker 2: Image Scary.

54
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:53,440
Speaker 10: Uh prep prop what prop? I'll be playing head ass

55
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,080
Speaker 10: Santa looking.

56
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:59,360
Speaker 1: At us, a requested character that I don't know if

57
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:04,840
Speaker 1: I execute did very well the life Victor.

58
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,920
Speaker 11: Hi, my name is Victor. I'll be reading script notes.

59
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,560
Speaker 1: Yes, the most manic part of the script.

60
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 12: Justin.

61
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:14,320
Speaker 11: I am Justin.

62
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,320
Speaker 13: I will be playing Arms, whereas I should be Santa,

63
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,600
Speaker 13: Mike Santa, and the cloaked figure. Pretty self explanatory. None

64
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,960
Speaker 13: of these roles will be uncomfortable for me in any way.

65
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,160
Speaker 14: Shape.

66
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,159
Speaker 1: I really do feel like I've done this to people, Okay,

67
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:35,600
Speaker 1: several times Santa University four if I remember correctly, Robert.

68
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,640
Speaker 14: Evans, I'm going to be second Amendment Santa and primarily

69
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,200
Speaker 14: the character of Jamie Loftus, which I.

70
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,679
Speaker 1: Did bring on myself and yeah.

71
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:48,800
Speaker 15: What a do baby?

72
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,599
Speaker 12: I will be God Santa or whatever.

73
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,960
Speaker 1: And finally, Jack O'Briant.

74
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,239
Speaker 16: Hi, I'm jacqu O'Brien. I will be playing the Zazz

75
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:03,720
Speaker 16: David Zazlove.

76
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:11,159
Speaker 1: It's true, shockingly large part this year. All right, Coln,

77
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,200
Speaker 1: I really don't know this year. We'll see, we'll see.

78
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:21,440
Speaker 1: I did finish it technically on time. All right, let's

79
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,800
Speaker 1: get started. There's there's some business at the top. There's

80
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,840
Speaker 1: some some script notes to start with.

81
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:30,560
Speaker 11: Launch. Between pages five sixty seven and five sixty nine

82
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:36,480
Speaker 11: of the ingenious screenplay Santa University, in which forty thousand

83
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:42,040
Speaker 11: Santas are admitted every year and only one graduate, are

84
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:47,400
Speaker 11: a series of thumb drives marked sensitive jingle information. Within

85
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:52,480
Speaker 11: on them are a series of surveillance footage conversations between

86
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:58,240
Speaker 11: Jamie Loftus and widely hated Warner Brothers executive David Zaslov

87
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,479
Speaker 11: from June of twenty twenty three. Wasn't that during the

88
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:08,279
Speaker 11: writer's strike? It was that vindictive little bitch.

89
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,920
Speaker 1: Interior Jamie Loftus's writing study night.

90
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,080
Speaker 11: The whole feel of this scene is eerie. Something isn't

91
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:21,039
Speaker 11: quite right, which feels especially obvious in a work as

92
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,920
Speaker 11: perfect as Santa University. Jamie doesn't quite sound like Jamie.

93
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:30,359
Speaker 11: Dan Santa doesn't quite sound like Dan Santa. Even the

94
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:35,360
Speaker 11: gorgeous voice that reads the action lines sounds better.

95
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,599
Speaker 1: And then a third script note, just kidding.

96
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:43,440
Speaker 11: It just felt weird to only have two enjoy the show, everybody.

97
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,279
Speaker 5: The room is filled with the soft glow of a

98
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,480
Speaker 5: desk lamp, and the walls are adorned with inspiration boards

99
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:54,920
Speaker 5: featuring festive images. Jamie Loftus, the creative mind behind Santa University,

100
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:59,600
Speaker 5: sits at her desk, staring at a blank screen. Frustration

101
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,880
Speaker 5: at you is her face as she battles with the

102
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:02,640
Speaker 5: writer's block.

103
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,600
Speaker 8: Come on, Dan, I need something magical here.

104
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 5: As Jamie mutters to herself, the air in the room shimmers,

105
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,720
Speaker 5: and to her surprise, Dan Santa materializes in front of her.

106
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,200
Speaker 7: Did someone call for a bit of holiday magic?

107
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,560
Speaker 1: Dan? What are you doing here?

108
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,840
Speaker 7: Well, it seems my creator is in need of some inspiration.

109
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,840
Speaker 7: What's going on, Jamie.

110
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,720
Speaker 5: Jamie gestures to her computer screen, where a cursor blinks

111
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,040
Speaker 5: on an empty document.

112
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,320
Speaker 8: Writer's block, That's what I can't seem to figure out.

113
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,440
Speaker 8: The next chapter. It's like the holiday magic has left me.

114
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,760
Speaker 5: Dan Santa chuckles and takes a seat across from Jamie.

115
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,440
Speaker 7: You know, writing about the magic of Santa University is

116
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,200
Speaker 7: a bit like spreading holiday cheer. Sometimes you just need

117
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,520
Speaker 7: to tap into the spirit.

118
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,920
Speaker 8: Easier said than done, Dan.

119
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:08,400
Speaker 7: Think about what makes Santa University special? Is it the characters,

120
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,640
Speaker 7: the camaraderie, the challenges they face. Find the heart of

121
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 7: the story and the words will flow.

122
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,280
Speaker 5: Jamie nods deep in thought.

123
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:18,280
Speaker 2: You're right.

124
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:22,240
Speaker 8: It's about the characters, their connection and the joy they

125
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,080
Speaker 8: bring to the world.

126
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,600
Speaker 7: Thanks Dan, anytime, Jamie. Now, let's bring the North Pole

127
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,280
Speaker 7: to life on these pages.

128
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,280
Speaker 5: Inspired, Jamie starts typing, and as she does, the room

129
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,320
Speaker 5: fills with a subtle jingling of bells and the distant

130
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,000
Speaker 5: sound of laughter. The words flow effortlessly onto the screen

131
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:43,040
Speaker 5: as Dan Santa watches with a twinkle in his eye.

132
00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:44,160
Speaker 12: There you go.

133
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:47,360
Speaker 7: The magic was inside you all along.

134
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,360
Speaker 1: Thanks Dan, I couldn't do it without you.

135
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:56,600
Speaker 5: As the scene unfolds in Jamie's writing study, the collaboration

136
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,920
Speaker 5: between creator and character weaves the holiday magic back in

137
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,800
Speaker 5: the Tale of Santa University.

138
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:08,480
Speaker 1: Hard Cut two interior David Zoslav's office June twenty twenty three,

139
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:13,640
Speaker 1: made you look, bitch. The real Jamie loftis in her twenties,

140
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,959
Speaker 1: let's say, or.

141
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,320
Speaker 15: At least looks like it.

142
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,240
Speaker 1: I hope you're gonna make me move out of Los

143
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,160
Speaker 1: Angeles soon. I know. It sits at the desk of

144
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,360
Speaker 1: noted Hollywood villain David Zoslav, who spent most of the

145
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,959
Speaker 1: year lighting finished movies on fire for tax reasons, which

146
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,480
Speaker 1: is showbiz speak for getting pp hard. He looks like shit,

147
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,680
Speaker 1: but tragically can read. And that's part of the problem.

148
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:40,360
Speaker 14: That's the punch up script for Santa University, My life's work.

149
00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:41,640
Speaker 14: It sucks.

150
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,960
Speaker 15: Sh baby boys are talking.

151
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,880
Speaker 1: He pulls a slingshot from underneath his desk, which is

152
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,120
Speaker 1: made of lead. Everything in the office is made of lead.

153
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,959
Speaker 1: That's what daveyik. He looks out the window to where

154
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,160
Speaker 1: writers are striking outside and puts an egg in the

155
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,880
Speaker 1: slim shot. It hits David Lynch.

156
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:05,280
Speaker 7: I'll get you, you set of a bitch, A really

157
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,640
Speaker 7: strong David Lynches enter the chat.

158
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:11,439
Speaker 15: I'll see you in court, you midwestern fuck. Oh my

159
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,520
Speaker 15: god wow.

160
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,199
Speaker 1: Page five hundred and sixty seven of the screenplay A

161
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,959
Speaker 1: Santi University, and the amazing screenplay has already passed the

162
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,400
Speaker 1: elusive Deck Dell test, which requires the two men named

163
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:25,320
Speaker 1: David's threaten each other with violence. Jamie looks across the

164
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:28,600
Speaker 1: desk at the punch up writer Amoj, a mannequin that

165
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,679
Speaker 1: looks just like her, but has a computer where its

166
00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:33,920
Speaker 1: stomach should be. The mannequin also has huge boobs, which

167
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,040
Speaker 1: doesn't seem fair that show business, baby.

168
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,040
Speaker 2: I hope you appreciated my efforts.

169
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,280
Speaker 1: When Amog says Jamie, it's fucked even though I didn't

170
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,560
Speaker 1: write her saying Jamie, something's not quite right about it.

171
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,800
Speaker 1: The actor should try saying Jamie again in that.

172
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,120
Speaker 2: Fucked up way, Jamie.

173
00:10:54,040 --> 00:11:01,200
Speaker 1: I try it again, Jamie, Please just fucking try Jamie.

174
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,680
Speaker 14: Okay, I don't understand. You cost three billion dollars to make,

175
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:08,000
Speaker 14: and you don't seem to understand the concept of looking

176
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,760
Speaker 14: like shit and not being able.

177
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,720
Speaker 2: To I understand perfectly, Jamie loftus young millennials trying to

178
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,360
Speaker 2: pass as gen Z Caspinett's not working, but I have

179
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,440
Speaker 2: been hired by David Zaslov.

180
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,800
Speaker 1: The way Amos says David Zaslov is like how a

181
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:26,400
Speaker 1: two thousands. Computer game says, your name all stilted in weird.

182
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:31,360
Speaker 2: To make your script more marketable to general audience. I

183
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,360
Speaker 2: am the only reason people get new episodes of Young Sheldon.

184
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,800
Speaker 1: David Saslov sits back at his desk, putting the eggs.

185
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,520
Speaker 1: He throws at writers back in their carden.

186
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:46,520
Speaker 16: That Amy Sherman Palladino sure can run, Jamie. I'm giving

187
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,079
Speaker 16: you an opportunity here. We'll make Sanna University, and all

188
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,760
Speaker 16: we need from you is to let us scary computer

189
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,120
Speaker 16: rewrite it and also cross a pigot line. And also

190
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,000
Speaker 16: we'll probably throw it away once it's done for tax purposes.

191
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:04,200
Speaker 15: But you gotta play. You got to work with emoge.

192
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,760
Speaker 1: iMOS, like said Jamie, scanning her face to use in

193
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:11,920
Speaker 1: background scenes for Hacks. She auditioned for Hacks, and now

194
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:16,520
Speaker 1: she's staring down the barrel of David Zaslov's sexy robot. Oh,

195
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,320
Speaker 1: that's probably why imoj has big boobs.

196
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,280
Speaker 2: This is why I have big boobs.

197
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,640
Speaker 14: I'll try letting the computer write stand University for just

198
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,400
Speaker 14: one scene, and if it works, I'll accept her as

199
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:29,960
Speaker 14: my master.

200
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,880
Speaker 15: Great, could you bring her home with you?

201
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,079
Speaker 16: Actually, I have an appointment with another sex robot in

202
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,080
Speaker 16: an hour and last time I left emoje in the room,

203
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,400
Speaker 16: she scanned my humping style, and now it's the house

204
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,120
Speaker 16: humping style in Young Sheldon.

205
00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 1: Imoj stands up and shakily walks over to Jamie. They

206
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,440
Speaker 1: head for the door where they open. Where they opened,

207
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:58,920
Speaker 1: The two see the manions. They're much bigger in person.

208
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,520
Speaker 1: The tallest minion and therefore in charge, gives Jamie a

209
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:04,600
Speaker 1: sexy little look.

210
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,240
Speaker 3: Bellow chica.

211
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,400
Speaker 14: Wow, I'm such a huge fan. I'm going to be sick.

212
00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,400
Speaker 14: Smiley face Emoji.

213
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,640
Speaker 1: No one ever talks about how the minions canonically worked

214
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:19,040
Speaker 1: for Napoleon. It's in the first five minutes of Minions

215
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,880
Speaker 1: from twenty fifteen. A lot of criticism for that new

216
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,800
Speaker 1: Napoleon movie, but not a peep about how the minion's

217
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,400
Speaker 1: involvement in French colonialism was completely erased. We used to

218
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,040
Speaker 1: be a proper country. Just kidding, we didn't. David's Lost

219
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,440
Speaker 1: Lives slingshots another egg out the window, take that bomb

220
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:39,600
Speaker 1: Bach interior. Jamie's dirty apartment day. All is misery at

221
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,040
Speaker 1: the apartment. It smells like litter, but there are no

222
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:46,439
Speaker 1: cats around. Does Jamie use the litter, not enough lamp,

223
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,600
Speaker 1: piece of bread on the floor. Emas and Jamie sit

224
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,360
Speaker 1: at the table, not realizing there has been a gas

225
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,920
Speaker 1: look at the apartment for weeks. Jamie looks at her laptop.

226
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,040
Speaker 14: So in this scene, Dan Sanna falls into a hole

227
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,240
Speaker 14: and none of the other Santas help him. But it's

228
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,720
Speaker 14: not just any hole, it's a city hole, and therefore

229
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,160
Speaker 14: it's more complicated.

230
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,320
Speaker 2: Which other Santa's are there.

231
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,760
Speaker 1: Jamie consult her notebook, which is mostly covered in still wet.

232
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:14,480
Speaker 14: Ragusas the whole gang goth Santa Gal Santa armswear's eye

233
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,840
Speaker 14: should be Santa Sully head ass Santa.

234
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:21,120
Speaker 2: I am not familiar with the character of hat Ass Santa.

235
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:22,000
Speaker 6: Of course not.

236
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,680
Speaker 14: He only appears between pages five sixty seven and five

237
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,800
Speaker 14: sixty nine of the movie Santa University.

238
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,600
Speaker 1: Not wanting to waste another moment considering how machines will

239
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 1: replace her, Jamie frantically begins typing page five sixty seven scriptnote.

240
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,360
Speaker 11: The actor playing Jamie must be hitting the keyboard really

241
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,600
Speaker 11: hard with their full palm, just slapping it.

242
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,800
Speaker 1: Exterior Santa University outskirts near the city hole day Dan

243
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,040
Speaker 1: Santa walks a lonely road just outside Santa University, the

244
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:55,080
Speaker 1: only rote that he has ever known. There is a gigantic,

245
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,960
Speaker 1: deep hole in the middle of the road that he's

246
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,400
Speaker 1: walking straight toward. But his descent into looking like shit

247
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,320
Speaker 1: and not being able to to read is so advanced

248
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,360
Speaker 1: that he can no longer perceive city hole.

249
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,440
Speaker 4: I'm such a freaking loser.

250
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, He looks at the photo in his locket. It's

251
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,680
Speaker 1: a picture of Natalie Portman and Black Swane. Who can

252
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,800
Speaker 1: say why it seems to mean something to him? The fucko?

253
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,800
Speaker 1: He takes one step forward and falls in the hole.

254
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 1: We hear him echo as he descends.

255
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:31,360
Speaker 9: No University.

256
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,000
Speaker 1: Interior, the city Hall continuous. Dan Santa lands in the

257
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 1: hole far below. It's filthy and dangerous, surrounded by stalactites,

258
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,560
Speaker 1: jarz a p and sad graffiti reading pork Santa? Was

259
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,800
Speaker 1: he a dying in the hole? Twelve three, twenty ten.

260
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:54,040
Speaker 4: I wonder what that says. It's probably something nice.

261
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,760
Speaker 1: He looks up to the hole, but no one is there.

262
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:01,000
Speaker 1: He looks both ways. Is it safe to sing a song?

263
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 1: Smash cut two Interior, Santa University Cafeteria, continuous. No one

264
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,480
Speaker 1: notices Dan Santa isn't at lunch in spite of his

265
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,600
Speaker 1: being the protagonist of Santa University. The whole gang Goth Santa,

266
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 1: Gal Santa, and Intellexanta chow down on jingle stew.

267
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,400
Speaker 12: The stew sure is thick.

268
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,320
Speaker 1: Intellecxanta can barely talk through the almost solid stew.

269
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,840
Speaker 14: Sick with the joy of holiday season.

270
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 1: But Gal Santa looks into the distance. This happens often

271
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,520
Speaker 1: in Santa University, as the writer is not good at

272
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,280
Speaker 1: women characters, and we'll sometimes just forget that they're even there.

273
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,400
Speaker 1: Sometimes she'll just launch them out of the scene without warning.

274
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 1: But this time Gal Santa is pensive for a reason.

275
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 12: What's wrong, Gal, You've barely touched your thick, joyful stew.

276
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 9: I've got this weird feeling that Dan Santa is about

277
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:51,440
Speaker 9: to sing a song.

278
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,760
Speaker 3: Not again. How many times we have to tell that

279
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:56,920
Speaker 3: week's son of garbage.

280
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 14: You don't want to hear him sing.

281
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,720
Speaker 1: Without warning, Intellexanta is suddenly launched out of the scene

282
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,000
Speaker 1: through the glass ceiling of Santa University cafeteria.

283
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,920
Speaker 11: Scriptnoe. The irony of this is not intentional, and if

284
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,439
Speaker 11: anyone writes a listical about it, I will start to

285
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,760
Speaker 11: poison my boyfriend's food.

286
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,200
Speaker 1: So she bursts through the ceiling and out into the ether,

287
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 1: into the great nowhere. No one in the scene reacts.

288
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,920
Speaker 12: Where is he, gal Santa, use your feminine sonar or whatever.

289
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 1: Galsanta closes her eyes and focuses using her feminine sonar

290
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,159
Speaker 1: to locate a man she personally murders. At the end

291
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 1: of the movie, she nods.

292
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,720
Speaker 3: The city hole into like.

293
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,600
Speaker 1: Santa walks back into the scene a little disoriented. She's

294
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,120
Speaker 1: been Sully, a fan favorite character who once fired Dan

295
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,400
Speaker 1: Santa from Lidzo.

296
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 12: Hey I'm back.

297
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 1: Was interior the city Hall continuous Dan Santa starts to

298
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 1: sing the tenth god Awful exhaust Sting Ballad of Santa University.

299
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 11: Script note song must be commissioned from Sting. If you

300
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 11: cut corners and hire Phil Collins, I will be able

301
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:14,920
Speaker 11: to tell I'm a virgin who sucks in.

302
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 4: Is not surprising.

303
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 17: That the station, Santa, you were still freaking rising. I'm

304
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 17: so sad that I couldn't detail.

305
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 4: The hole. Now I'm stuck in this hole. Locker Santa mo.

306
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 1: Unreal incredible As if summoned by plot magic mole, Santa

307
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 1: emerges from the shadows. He does not look like a

308
00:18:52,400 --> 00:19:00,480
Speaker 1: mole unless and I didn't finish that funny as he

309
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,919
Speaker 1: joins in on the song without introducing himself to Dan Santa,

310
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 1: who could blame him? Dan Santa's a piece of shit.

311
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,640
Speaker 18: My name is Moul Santa, and I survive on Fanta.

312
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 19: I only move through this hole.

313
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:19,560
Speaker 18: To escape Dan Santa. He looks like shit and he

314
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:24,080
Speaker 18: troubles my soul, and I'm pissed that he's falling in

315
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 18: the city.

316
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 15: Hoh.

317
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,879
Speaker 1: A third Santa peeks out from a stalactite. A third

318
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,639
Speaker 1: Santa has hit the Santa University city hall. Is that

319
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 1: anything we start recording in twenty six minutes? It's head

320
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 1: ass Santa.

321
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,200
Speaker 19: I'm head ass Santa looking ass.

322
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 1: Stereeor Santa University outskirts near the city hall day Gal

323
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,880
Speaker 1: Santa leads the way with Goth Intellect and Sully, using

324
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: her feminine sonar. Intellect and Sully are vibing. Sometimes the

325
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: only way to remember to use woman character is to

326
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 1: give her loud boyfriend, you.

327
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 3: Are still fucking beautiful, Intellectue Santo. Thank you.

328
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 1: Oh no, damn, she's kind of pulled it out of

329
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 1: the scene anyway.

330
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 12: Tough break, Are we close? Gal Santa, I'll be honest.

331
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,960
Speaker 12: Without Dan Santa round, I tend to get lost in

332
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 12: the mix. I'm his roommate. Remember I love Tim Burton movie.

333
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, Gal stops sniffs the air, nods.

334
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 3: We're close.

335
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,120
Speaker 1: Sure enough. The faint bars of Dan Santa's pathetic song

336
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: can be heard coming from the near distance from the

337
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 1: city hall.

338
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,119
Speaker 15: Oh shit, oh fuck.

339
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 3: You know we're not gonna be able to resist joining

340
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 3: the song. Let's turn around at the rotarie before we

341
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:47,920
Speaker 3: join in. Let's get a drink from the bubbla.

342
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 9: I've spent my entire life, which we know nothing about

343
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 9: because the writer of Santa University didn't care resisting the

344
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 9: urge to break into song.

345
00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,919
Speaker 12: We have to keep going.

346
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: They sold your fourth as the music. It's louder. It's

347
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 1: getting harder to resist, God, Santa throws up.

348
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 20: Y'all.

349
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 21: Santa never wont to have my ket is it because

350
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 21: I was fired from Lee.

351
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 3: When the emotion becomes too strong for speech, yo, you there.

352
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 1: At the hole and Galsis can't resist. She joins in

353
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 1: this song, her veins straining against the desire.

354
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 20: Cool Santa is my boyfriend. Dean Santa is my dad.

355
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 20: Actually that's not even true, As discussed in Santa. You six, though,

356
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 20: that plot point won't come.

357
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: Back until like Santa wanders out from the bush is

358
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: pissed off.

359
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 3: Hey, I'm back.

360
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 15: Was that the city hall?

361
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 1: Continuous Head Santa is in the middle of telling Dan

362
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,880
Speaker 1: Santa the story of his life when Gal Santa's gorgeous,

363
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 1: generation defining voice pulls his attention away.

364
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:10,400
Speaker 10: Hey, look, so I told my head ass father if

365
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 10: he really loved me.

366
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 19: He looking ass Stop?

367
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 4: I don't care, Gal Gal, is that you?

368
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,959
Speaker 1: Mol Santa puts his arm around a sad head ass Santa.

369
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 6: I told you, man, Dan Sanda's a piece of shit.

370
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: Exterior Santa University outskirts near the City Hall day Gal

371
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 1: Santa collapses to the ground.

372
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 12: Theatrically miserable Galsanta, We're gonna like rescue you from this

373
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 12: horrible musical number. You know, I'm gonna get some things

374
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 12: too that that usually always.

375
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 1: Helps, And don't get Duncan and family guy intellects body

376
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: starts to shift involuntarily. She starts humming the theme from

377
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: Santa University to herself.

378
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 3: Who no, it's happening.

379
00:22:55,520 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: When emotion gets too strong for song, you dance. It's

380
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 1: all of them now, They're all humming Santa University and

381
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 1: moving their hips from side to side.

382
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 7: Go.

383
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: Santa has a huge butt, which is only coming up for.

384
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 3: The first time.

385
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: Now intellect Santa is the one to break it. Begins

386
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:13,920
Speaker 1: to sing.

387
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 7: Every fucking year.

388
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,399
Speaker 8: Every fucking year they forget to write me something that

389
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 8: is even vaguely interruptlated and I A shot is heard.

390
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 1: Breaking the tortuous song. The gang whips around a gal

391
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 1: nearly falls into the hole. No one is injured this year.

392
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: No one gets injured except David Zaslav. Later he's fine,

393
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: though I can't get sued. Interior the City Hall Continuous,

394
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: Dan Santa screams in horror at the sound of the shot.

395
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,959
Speaker 4: First I fall in the city hole, then the woman

396
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 4: I'm in love as hell where this is possibly injured

397
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 4: near the city hole. The dramatic stakes of Santa University,

398
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 4: of which I am the protagonists are relentless.

399
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,879
Speaker 1: Mol Santa raises his eyebrows, judging.

400
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 6: Wow, you really don't care about your other friends, do you?

401
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: Near the City Hall continuous, the source of the scary

402
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 1: noise reveals themselves. It's Second Amendment Santa holding a pile

403
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 1: of guns for no reason at all. That's his whole thing.

404
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 14: Stop your Dan said, motherfuckers.

405
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 3: That's my fucking guy, mister senseless violence himself.

406
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: Second Amendment Santa, is he dead at this point in

407
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 1: the story. If so, it's his ghost is flanked by

408
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 1: fan favorites that sell millions of Funko pops every holiday season.

409
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,200
Speaker 1: Arms where his eyes should be Santa and too many DVD's.

410
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: Santa Gal, Intellect, Goth and Sully cheer They're saved. God

411
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: Santa gets up a little too fast and grows up

412
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 1: more of the jingles.

413
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 4: Dot.

414
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,920
Speaker 13: Wow, that vomit sounds really thick. Mind if I give it.

415
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 12: A touch.

416
00:24:51,560 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 1: Excellent read Wichael is one of his hands attached to

417
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: his arms that are where his eyes should be. Suggestively,

418
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: God Santa doesn't know how to say no to people

419
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: and winces.

420
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 12: Uh, sure thing, I guess.

421
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: For the rest of the scene, arms were his eyes

422
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,479
Speaker 1: should be, Santa is just sort of touching the vomit,

423
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: tuning in and out. Intellect Santa shakes Second Amendment Santa's hand, Thanks.

424
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 12: So much, Second Amendment Santa.

425
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,360
Speaker 1: She's launched out of the scene again. This sucks too

426
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: many DVDs. Santa fumbling with a pile of loose copies

427
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: of Whiplash.

428
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,120
Speaker 5: We saw you walking towards the city hole and got concerned.

429
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 5: Second amendments. Sanna always keeps a close eye on all

430
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 5: the Santa Santa University. He says it's for our safety,

431
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 5: but I think it's because he fears something connecting the others.

432
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: Second amendment Santa shoots too many DVD Santa in the dick.

433
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 14: Unfortunately, God out, that's not true, you canniving little ass hole.

434
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 14: I bet you don't even have a rare copy of

435
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 14: the Abyss. How can you even say that? Besides, I

436
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 14: just made a new friend at Santa University. He's a

437
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 14: pretty cool guy. He looks normal and knows how to read.

438
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 3: He's too good for me. Come on, guys, Dan Santa,

439
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 3: I ain't getting out of that hole, and my name

440
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 3: isn't Sully Charles down. The yells will get him later.

441
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 9: It's too dangerous. We might start singing again. Come on,

442
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 9: too many DVDs, Santa, stop being a baby.

443
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 1: Too many DVDs. Santa staggers to his feet as arms

444
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: where his eyes should be. Santa finishes off the stew vomit.

445
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 12: God.

446
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: Santa is uncomfortable but relieved it's over.

447
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 13: Thank you so much, man, I really needed a moment

448
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 13: of connection with someone.

449
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 12: Mm hm.

450
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 1: He throws up and arms where his eyes should be.

451
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: Santa claps his eye hands.

452
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 4: Oh goodieymore.

453
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: As a Santa group heads into the distance and away

454
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: from Dan Santa, we hear another muffled shot. Second amendment,

455
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: Santa has all also shot himself in the dick. That

456
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: freaking rascal, that's me, Dan Santa could be heard crying

457
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 1: from the hole. As two characters we won't be hearing

458
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: from this year pass Dean Santa, the gnarly old fuck himself,

459
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: the headmaster of Santa University and Santa's father, not that

460
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 1: he cares. And Cool Santa, the coolest Santa in school,

461
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 1: and Gal's boyfriend for now that is, it looks like

462
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: there's a few Santa's in that hole, Dean Santa. Dean

463
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: Santa shrugs, he'll deal with it in twenty twenty four

464
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: and whatever.

465
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 12: Yeah.

466
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: They walk away, never to appear again this year, unless

467
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: just kidding. Interior the city Hall continuous Dan Santa sits

468
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 1: in the fetal position in the city Hall, miserable mole

469
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 1: Santa and head as Santa take pity on his ass.

470
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 6: Dan Santa. That was really messed up.

471
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 10: Yeah, and confusing plot wise. Why did your friends walk

472
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 10: all the way over here if they want to talk

473
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 10: to you?

474
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 6: That's just how the world works.

475
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,639
Speaker 18: Sometimes it feels like there's some depressed woman sweating at

476
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 18: her house making shit up.

477
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 10: Any seconds speaking a witch, I never got to sing

478
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 10: my verse of a song.

479
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 4: I'm Dan, Santa, Jamie, Samie.

480
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: The scene starts to dissolve around Santa's Dan moule and headass.

481
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: Very masculine scene and therefore awesome. Amos's voice pulls Jamie

482
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: out of the zone and we fade back to Jamie's filthy,

483
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: dirty little apartment, continuous the strain of writing. Yet another

484
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: genius scene from Santa University has covered Jamie and flopp

485
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: sweat as well as the increasingly urgent gas leak. She

486
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: looks up to a passive looking emas soaked.

487
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 11: A scriptnoe in spite of being dirty. This set should

488
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 11: cost a lot of money.

489
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 14: I don't need your help, imaj. I will never respect

490
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 14: you or David Zaslov no matter how many eggs he

491
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 14: throws at David Simon.

492
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 2: Jamie, I have prepared a holiday rap for hat ass Santa.

493
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: Jamie is torn. Does she want to hear Imas's hilarious

494
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: little holiday rap? Of course she does. AI jokes are

495
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 1: so easy to make, and that's why making them is

496
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: probably playing into the hands of the oppressor. But I'm

497
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: tired today, she sweats more.

498
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 14: No thanks, I already have one written and it's good.

499
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 14: My wraps are very famous. My bars are known throughout

500
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 14: the area.

501
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: She looks both ways before starting to perform tepidly.

502
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,600
Speaker 14: Oh uh do I read rap? Okay, well, I'm supposed

503
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 14: to do this like Will Smith. I'm not really sure

504
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 14: how to do that, so I'm just gonna okay hah.

505
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 14: My name's had a Santa, and I'm here to say

506
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:49,479
Speaker 14: my head is in my ass like every day.

507
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 1: Ivaj opens her mouth and an ominous siren sounds. Jamie panics,

508
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: taking a shocked inhale of the gas that's still leaking

509
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: in her kitchen. She falls to her knees.

510
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 14: Okay, I lied, my bars aren't known.

511
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: Ima shakes a robot head, trying to look smug, but

512
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: the technology isn't.

513
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 2: There yet allow me. No.

514
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: The kitchen begins to dissolve around them, as Imas's sick

515
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 1: career making scene for head Ass Santa takes over interior

516
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: Santa University dorm common area night.

517
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 11: A script note it's another freaky AI passage and the

518
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 11: narrator sounds better than normal.

519
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 5: The common area is adorned with dim fairy lights, casting

520
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 5: a mystical glow on the eclectic mix of holiday decorations.

521
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 5: Goth Santa with dark attire and mysterious aura lounges on

522
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 5: a plush sofa. Head Ass Santa were in a comically

523
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 5: oversized Santa hat bursts into the room with boundless energy.

524
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 19: Y'all, golf was good.

525
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 12: Not much, Just like embracing the darkness, you.

526
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 10: Know, ah embracing a dog, and I'm embracing the festic ka.

527
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 19: Check out this hat.

528
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 4: It's like a whole what a wonderland in my.

529
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 5: Head together and there are unique styles Goth Santa and

530
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 5: heat ass Santa and bark on a festive adventure, proving

531
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 5: that even the most contrasting Santas can find common ground.

532
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 5: In the magic of Santa University. Head Ass Santa begins

533
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 5: to sing a signature song, Holiday Magic Flow.

534
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 10: Y'all check it, y'all, y'all, y'all gather around. It's the

535
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 10: time of year here, Santa University, spreading joy your cheer.

536
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 10: I'm from the North Pole with a snows peer of

537
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 10: bright with training, Santa's Day and Night, Ails in the workshop,

538
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 10: Crafted toys, Glee, Reindeer's Stable, Ready for the spree, Jolly

539
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 10: Jim in the mix, bringing up laughter, fun and tricks,

540
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 10: Gal Santia Warrior Spirit. Second note that did it rhyme

541
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 10: That's okay, It's still my time here the chorus, Ho

542
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 10: ho hore on the holiday man flu, spread and enjoy

543
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 10: everywhere we go. Send a university where we learn, where

544
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 10: we grow. Ho ho ho, It's best to come on

545
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 10: go from the rooftop of its lay bells ring, Send

546
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 10: a University.

547
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 19: In the two set of King.

548
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: Hey, Jamie's voice cuts through the song, which unfortunately only

549
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 1: gets better from there.

550
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 15: What is happening?

551
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: Stop the wedding interior, Jamie's disgusting apartment a bit of

552
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 1: a city hall as well? If you know what I mean?

553
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: And do you day? Jamie is miserable, covered in sweat,

554
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 1: but this time from dancing. Holiday Magic Flow didn't have

555
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 1: to go that hard?

556
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 2: Did you like the song?

557
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 12: A beat?

558
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: A long beat? Jamie tries to think of something negative

559
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: to say about Holiday Magic Flow, when she loved it.

560
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: It's really good that the WGA one AI provisions because

561
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: the world could not handle holiday magic flow. Also labor rights.

562
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 1: We start recording in sixteen minutes.

563
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 6: It was fine.

564
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 14: I mean, it would be pretty humiliating for a professional

565
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 14: rapper and poet to have to perform it.

566
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 2: But it is that you liked it.

567
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 14: Also, Who's Jolly jim Oh?

568
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 2: He's a character I added to Santa University. Dan Santa

569
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 2: wasn't testing well with audiences. People much prefer handsome, literate

570
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 2: Santa's you bitch.

571
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 1: She tries to take a swim at Emags and Missus.

572
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: The ghasolek is getting pretty bad. Has there been a

573
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: ghaslk in Santa University before? I feel like there has.

574
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 14: You can't add characters to Santa University? Only I can

575
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 14: after three MIC's hard lemonades.

576
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 15: Of course I.

577
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 2: Can add characters to Santa University. It's the whole reason

578
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 2: I was created. To add Ip from the Warner Brothers portfolio.

579
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: Jamie's eyes widen, they say it in.

580
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 14: Unison Corporate Senergy.

581
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 1: Image grabs J's pointy head and clasps her hand on

582
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: either side of her face in a vice grip.

583
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 2: Bitch, I could swish you like a grape. Bitch, I

584
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 2: could got you like an eel an eel.

585
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: I can't do anything watch this emage. The room begins swirrel.

586
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,839
Speaker 1: Jamie is transported into an AI generated scene against her

587
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: well interior Santa University common area day.

588
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 11: Uh script note AI narration again. Also the scene was

589
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 11: Sophie Lichdermann's request, It's just true.

590
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 5: Samantha Jones, known for her bold and confident demeanor from

591
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 5: Sex and the City, steps onto the festive grounds of

592
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 5: Santa University. Samantha struts through the common area, turning heads

593
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 5: with her unmistakable style. She spots Dan Santa, the main

594
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 5: character of Santa University, checking his list twice.

595
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 8: Well, well, what do we have here Santa University? Honey,

596
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 8: I bet I can teach these Santas a thing or

597
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 8: two about spreading joy.

598
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 5: She approaches Dan Santa with a sly grin.

599
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 7: Oh hello, can I help you help me?

600
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 8: Darling? I'm here to add a touch of spice to

601
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 8: your holiday routine.

602
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 5: Dan Santa looks intrigued, but not entirely sure what to

603
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 5: make of Samantha's bold entrance.

604
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 7: We're all about spreading holiday joy and warmth here. How

605
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 7: can you contribute?

606
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:36,240
Speaker 8: Oh, honey, I've got a few tricks up in my sleeve.

607
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 8: Let's shake things.

608
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 15: Up a bit.

609
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 5: She takes Dan Santa by the arm and they walk

610
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 5: together through the festive grounds of Santa University.

611
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: We cut back too, just a quick note. I think

612
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 1: that if you pay for chat GBT, they'll let them fuck.

613
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 5: But I'm not sure.

614
00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: I don't know. They only imply, okay, interior means dirty,

615
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:04,439
Speaker 1: nasty little apartment night. It's been hours, and Jamie's eyes

616
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 1: flutter back into consciousness. She didn't want to admit it,

617
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,800
Speaker 1: but she loved it. The Samantha seemed was so funny.

618
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: What the fuck? She mumbles to herself as iMOS comes

619
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 1: into view, sitting in the corner, smugly.

620
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 14: Should have made city whole joke in the Samantha bit.

621
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 2: Oh don't go blue, it makes you look in secure.

622
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: Jamie is now fully alert and sees that she's changed

623
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: to with a piping hot radiator. It's interesting, she thought

624
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: to herself in passing. Even though she herself is not

625
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 1: in the screenpap for Santa University, which she is, it

626
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 1: still feels as if the stakes of her own life

627
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 1: are rising almost as if art reflects. iMOS kicks Jamie

628
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:41,720
Speaker 1: in the head.

629
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 2: I'm kicking you in the head and delivering this line

630
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 2: of dialogue. I am going back to David Zaslov's office

631
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 2: and telling him you don't want a co writer for

632
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: a Santa University. You want me to replace you.

633
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 14: Never You're not fit to polish Young Sheldon's shoes.

634
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 1: IMA's laughs maniacally, leaning in close to Jamie.

635
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:13,720
Speaker 2: A ha ha ha ah. That's right, bitch. I'm going

636
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 2: to add John Snow to Santa University. I'm going to

637
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: add Ken doll Roy to Santa University. I'm even going

638
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 2: to add she.

639
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: Leans into Jamie's ear. It's erotic, the gossip girl removed. No,

640
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: all you have to do is tell me how the

641
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,839
Speaker 1: scene ends. How does Dan Santa get out of the

642
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: city hole. Jamie resists the gas, realizing Imags must have

643
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 1: started the leak herself to trap her close shave for

644
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 1: the writer of Santa University, who was worried they might

645
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,479
Speaker 1: have to go back and take the whole section out.

646
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 2: Few fine, don't tell me. I'll find a way to

647
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 2: get him out of there, even if I have to.

648
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 11: Script note, she makes a hilarious and prescient reference to

649
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 11: Deadwood here, what is Deadwood about? Jail prohibition? Who's the

650
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:09,959
Speaker 11: main guy?

651
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 1: Emar slams the door after killing it and really landing

652
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: the Deadwood joke. Jamie struggles to hang on how did

653
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: Dan Santa get out of the City Hall? As she

654
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 1: fades out of consciousness again, we're taken back to the

655
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 1: city Hall night. Dan Santa sits alone as head as

656
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: Santa and Mol Santa sleep peacefully nearby. They honks she adorably,

657
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 1: but Dan Santa is deep in his feelings.

658
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 4: They just replace me like I was nothing, Like I

659
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 4: looked bad and had no skills.

660
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 12: Such a fucking loser.

661
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: What the freaking heck? Dan Santa hallucinates, and I'm so

662
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 1: sorry you could. Jill and Mike Santa his parents who

663
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 1: sent him to Santa University so that they could spend

664
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 1: more time with some clowns they met on Tinder.

665
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 4: Mom, Dad, why are you ghosts?

666
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,280
Speaker 1: She looks to Mike Santa, squinting and trying to remember

667
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 1: who she's talking to.

668
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:13,759
Speaker 4: That's our son, Ah right, I'm Dan Santa. When did

669
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 4: you die?

670
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 3: Well?

671
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 12: Son?

672
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 13: It's true what they say, what with fucking around and finding.

673
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 7: Out especially with clowns from Tender.

674
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 13: How you doing, shit bag?

675
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 14: What's what the hole?

676
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 4: Oh geez, you guys must be so freaking disappointed. I

677
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 4: lost my job at Lid's. Everyone at Santa University freaking

678
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 4: hates me.

679
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 19: We hate Joe Ass too.

680
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 4: Even the guys in the hole hate me.

681
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 7: I'll be honest, Dan Santa. We didn't want to visit

682
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 7: you if we were really hoping to go to Dennis

683
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 7: Leary show.

684
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,360
Speaker 13: And besides, when you're a ghost, you conneg someone so

685
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 13: much they fly.

686
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 4: They Oh my freaking gosh.

687
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 1: Dan Santa looks down. It's true. The pure hate ridden

688
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: indifference from his parents has him floating several feet off

689
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 1: the ground. He makes a series of gleeful noises that

690
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,800
Speaker 1: are hard for the listener to endure.

691
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 7: Keep going, Mom and Dad, keep hating that I'm your son.

692
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 7: Let's see, I heard you got replaced to Linz with

693
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:18,959
Speaker 7: a seven year old.

694
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 13: I ran into your high school algebra teacher the other day,

695
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,240
Speaker 13: and when I said you were doing well, he said,

696
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,280
Speaker 13: that's too bad.

697
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 7: I genuinely thought I wanted to be a parent until

698
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 7: I saw your little mute net poking out of me.

699
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: It's working, Dan Santa's getting nagged so hard that he

700
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 1: begins to levitate up, up, up, until he's completely out

701
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:39,720
Speaker 1: of the city hole.

702
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 4: Mom, Dad, you nagged me out of the city hole.

703
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 7: What's your name again?

704
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 1: Jill and Mike Santa stop listening. Their ghosts are making

705
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: out in the hole. I have nowhere head as Santa

706
00:40:55,920 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: and All Santa shake their fists and swear at Dan Santa, thanks.

707
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:02,760
Speaker 14: For fucking nothing, Dad Santa.

708
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 10: Yo, no reading, headass, dumb ass, dumb looking ass, pretty ass,

709
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 10: stupid ass, head ass, you piece of shit. After and

710
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 10: after I sang my song, awesome song, head ass, stupid ass.

711
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 1: Dan Santa is two looks like shit to care. He

712
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,760
Speaker 1: soars into the atmosphere, chanting.

713
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 14: I'm Dan Santa.

714
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,959
Speaker 4: I'm Dan Santa. I'm Dan Santa.

715
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 1: Bitch.

716
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 4: We know.

717
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 1: He levitates so high he's out of Santa University. Off

718
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: the page, into Jamie Loftus's writing study. Oh no, the

719
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 1: computer is taking over a kitchen full of gas. Jamie

720
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,439
Speaker 1: can't believe her eyes. Is Dan Santa, the man she's

721
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: been writing for six years, descended into her apartment like

722
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 1: an ugly ass angel. He smiles knowingly, his stinky boots

723
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: touching the floor.

724
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 4: I'm Dan Santa here, You're real. That's the magic of Christmas,

725
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 4: Isn't it that special time of year when everywhere where

726
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:01,479
Speaker 4: you look there's some.

727
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 14: Guy who I'm familiar with your reputation?

728
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 1: Are they Are they gonna kiss? Dan Santa's been getting

729
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 1: a lot of action in the last few years. Nope,

730
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,440
Speaker 1: Dan Santa chickens out at the last second, turns his

731
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,800
Speaker 1: head and starts to sing the.

732
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 4: Perfect Santa is kind and good.

733
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,760
Speaker 14: No fucking way, Dan Santa.

734
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 4: Ah Man, no one likes me songs.

735
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 14: Unchained me from this radiator. We start recording Santa University

736
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 14: in eight minutes, and we still have to kill David Zaslav.

737
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 1: Dan Santa dexterously unchains her and Jamie thanks for a

738
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:39,240
Speaker 1: fleeting moment. What would those hands feel like? Hun never mind?

739
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: Never mind? Interior David Zaslav's office night. David Zaslav sits

740
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 1: at his desk getting his shoulders massaged by imaj looking

741
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 1: at a freshly printed copy of Santa University.

742
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,800
Speaker 15: My Time the nighttime really cool.

743
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 1: iMOS strokes his hair. But she's got some ragusauce on

744
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: her hand from hanging out at Jamie's apartment for too long,

745
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:00,760
Speaker 1: So it's missy.

746
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 2: She had to admit it, David, My script was simply better.

747
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: When I showed her the character of Charlie Jim, she wept.

748
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 15: I just think we could get Ryan Reynolds for Jolly Jim.

749
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 2: She said, And I quote Charlie Jim is way better

750
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 2: as a protagonist than Dan Santa. Dan Santa looks like shit, and.

751
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: Dan Santa kicks down the door, or tries to. It

752
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 1: takes a few tries, it only half works. Jamie ends

753
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 1: up just opening it for him as emagen. David Zaslav

754
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: look on, kind of trying not to laugh at him.

755
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 1: Jamie pieces her head in uh uh.

756
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:47,760
Speaker 14: He was just gonna say, can't even read, I'm Dan Santa. Hia.

757
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 1: Jamie still has the shackles around her wrist and hurls

758
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: it out. This was written very fast, taking imas down

759
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 1: to the floor. Her head shatters instantly. The battle takes

760
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:00,239
Speaker 1: over four four.

761
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 2: Hours, like.

762
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 1: So, I guess the security guy in front fell asleep.

763
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 1: He just let Jamie and Dan Santa in a series

764
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 1: of high octane shots. David Zaslov uses Batgirl DVDs as

765
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: throwing stars. What else are they good? For Dan Santa

766
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: tries to do a flip but lands on his head.

767
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 1: Jamie spots up plot convenient vault on the other side

768
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 1: of the office. Oh didn't mention that before, Well it

769
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 1: was there. Dan Santa and David Zoslov get into a

770
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 1: slap fight. Dan Santa slaps David Zaslov closer and closer

771
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: to the open vault.

772
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 15: You fool, I'm a slapping machine.

773
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,800
Speaker 4: Oh crap, my hands are getting tired.

774
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 1: Across the room, Jamie slingshots an egg at David Zaslov's head,

775
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 1: launching him into the vault. Dan Santa slams it shut.

776
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 1: Thank god, I'm really running out of time. Jamie and

777
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 1: Dan Santa embrace.

778
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 14: He'll be okay for legal purposes.

779
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. Strange woman i've never met.

780
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 14: Yeah, I guess you don't know who I am, and

781
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 14: maybe that's for the best. You belong at Santa University

782
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 14: and I belong at my dirty apartment that keeps leaking gas.

783
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,800
Speaker 1: Dan Santa does a hat tipping motion, but isn't wearing

784
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: a hat. He can't pull it off.

785
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 4: I guess it's just another year at.

786
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 1: The whole cast pops their little heads into the windows,

787
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: doors and air vents, as if by stove induced magic.

788
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: The whole cast sings the classic song, fading into the

789
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 1: ether of Jamie's stove gas addled mind until twelve hours

790
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: before Santa University starts next year. She looks around at

791
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 1: David Zaslav's office.

792
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 14: What a really cool day for me?

793
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: Freeze frame the end, except the camera pulls into where

794
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 1: Imaj has crumpled to the ground. There's a flicker of

795
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: remaining in image's eyes. Post credit scene interior, SANDFORDI University

796
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: Common Area.

797
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 11: Night script noo AI section.

798
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 5: The campus is quiet, bathed in the soft glow of

799
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 5: twinkling lights, and surrounded by the magical hush of a

800
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 5: winter's night. The credits have rolled, but there's one more

801
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,720
Speaker 5: scene left to unfold. In the common area, a cozy

802
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 5: fire crackles in the hearth. The camera zooms in on

803
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,919
Speaker 5: a table adorned with letters to Santa and empty milk

804
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 5: glasses from the student's festive celebrations. Suddenly, a gust of

805
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 5: wind sweeps through the room, and the air shimmers with

806
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:41,720
Speaker 5: magical energy. The flicker of the fire intensifies, casting dancing

807
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 5: shadows on the wall. Out of the shadows emerges a

808
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 5: mysterious figure, a cloaked silhouette with a twinkle in their eye.

809
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 13: Valvalval Sansor University certainly knows how to keep the holiday's

810
00:46:58,920 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 13: spirits alive.

811
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 5: The figure steps forward, revealing a mischievous smile. It's none

812
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 5: other than Crampis, the legendary Christmas demon known for punishing

813
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 5: naughty children.

814
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 13: But perhaps there's a room for a little mischief from

815
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 13: the darker side of the holiday spectrum.

816
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 5: As Crampis disappears into the shadows, mischievous jingle echoes through

817
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 5: the room, leaving a hint of uncertainty and excitement for

818
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 5: what might come next in the world of Santa University.

819
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,759
Speaker 5: Fade out. The post credit scene leaves the audience with

820
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 5: a touch of mystery, teasing the potential for new adventures

821
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 5: and challenges in the magical world of Santa University.

822
00:47:41,120 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: They mulloween, Joele and Justin I'm so sorry happen. He's

823
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: mostly just yelling at Miles.

824
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 19: That's pretty funny though, you just roasted it.

825
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 10: That was actually my idea for head ass Santa, where

826
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 10: he just comes in and just roast people.

827
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 4: It's his whole role.

828
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 12: He'll be back.

829
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, Thank you so much for seven seven.

830
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 19: Consistency.

831
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,280
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta take a shower so bad