1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: tip is how to ask for help in a way 4 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: that people are more likely to say. Yes. We all 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: need people to help us out from time to time. 6 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: Maybe you want a neighbor to water your plants while 7 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: you're on vacation, or you'd like a colleague to make 8 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: an introduction. Every time I have a book come out, 9 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: I hope that the various other authors and influencers I 10 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,840 Speaker 1: know will share my work with their audiences. Now, of course, 11 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 1: I get requests from other authors to share news of 12 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: their books too, and over time I started to notice something. 13 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 1: Some of these requests were far more effective than others. 14 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: Some people clearly sent the same email to everyone, and 15 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: sometimes this mass emailing would even be acknowledged as such 16 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: in the first sentence, Sorry, I don't have time to 17 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: write you all individually, but would you do this for me? Now? 18 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: I generally try to still be a good citizen of 19 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: the author world and help out, but I know that 20 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: part of my brain would always be thinking, well, if 21 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: you don't have time to write me individually, why should 22 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: I make time individually to do what you're asking. And 23 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: if I'm thinking this, then probably other recipients of the 24 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: mass email are thinking the same thing, and maybe they're 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 1: just deleting the email. So sure, the sender theoretically saved time, 26 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: but he or she didn't get the wanted results either. 27 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: But when somebody I've met writes me individually and asks 28 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: for help, the bias is always to say yes. I've 29 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: since come across research finding that this is how most 30 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: people react to such requests. When you are asked individually, 31 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: the responsibility is on you. You know, it isn't shared. 32 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: In the interest of preserving the relationship, You'll feel like 33 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: you need a good reason to say no, and so 34 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: the easiest course is, in fact, to say yes. The 35 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 1: asker could make it even easier to say yes by 36 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: being very specific about what he or she wants. Here's 37 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 1: a Facebook post you can share with about my project, 38 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: or could you post something on Twitter? Here's a tweet 39 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: you could use if you wanted. These requests are even 40 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: more effective if the person has thought through what you 41 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,519 Speaker 1: specifically could do, Like here's an idea for a before 42 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: breakfast episode and it fits with the theme of the podcast. 43 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: Now I know this, and so I always ask for 44 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: help individually. When my most recent book, Juliet School of 45 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: Possibilities came out last March, I emailed hundreds of people 46 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: with personal requests. The vast majority of these people responded positively. Now, yes, 47 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 1: this took a lot of time, but so what it 48 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 1: was a good use of time, and not just for 49 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: sharing the news of the book. I was able to 50 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 1: reconnect with several people who then kept me in mind 51 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: for few projects too. Technology makes it very easy to 52 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: communicate with lots of people at once, and sometimes that's fine, 53 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: But if you want people to use their precious time 54 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 1: to help you, you're generally better off investing the time 55 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: and asking for help personally and specifically, and then of 56 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: course thanking people, because when you do that, everyone's more 57 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,959 Speaker 1: inclined to help in the future. In the meantime, this 58 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the 59 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear 60 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: from you. You can send me your tips, your questions, 61 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 62 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: and Instagram at before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the 63 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: number four than breakfast Pod. You can also shoot me 64 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at heartmedia dot com 65 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters, 66 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch. 67 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts 68 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 69 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.