Speaker 1: Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
Speaker 1: put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
Speaker 1: share with you on our daily podcast you.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Delilah.
Speaker 1: Are you writing in a car with someone you love
Speaker 1: or are you home with someone you love? Are you
Speaker 1: home with your husband or your wife or your sweetheart? Well,
Speaker 1: if you're in a car, then you're in a trapped
Speaker 1: environment and I can talk to you. If you're at home,
Speaker 1: they can walk in the other room or change the
Speaker 1: channel or whatever. But wherever you are, if you are
Speaker 1: in conflict with your sweetheart, with your partner, maybe ah,
Speaker 1: this is a new thing, or maybe it's an everyday thing.
Speaker 1: Maybe you just can't stop fussing and fighting and you're
Speaker 1: in conflict and there is no peace. I want you
Speaker 1: to think about something. When was the last time you
Speaker 1: let your walls down and let that person in all
Speaker 1: the way into your heart? When was the last time
Speaker 1: you said I want to know how you feel. I
Speaker 1: want to care about how you feel. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to get defensive. I'm not going to argue with you.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell you your feelings are not valid
Speaker 1: or I didn't really hurt your feelings by saying what
Speaker 1: I said or doing what I did. When was the
Speaker 1: last time you listened and let them all the way
Speaker 1: into your heart. We're so used to being defensive, argumentative,
Speaker 1: to gaslighting our partners, or not listening, not making them
Speaker 1: feel heard, feel seen, feel precious, feel loved. Love Someone
Speaker 1: show them that by listening and letting them in your heart. Hi, Matthew,
Speaker 1: thank you for your patience.
Speaker 2: This is Delilah. Hi. What can I do for you?
Speaker 3: Matt I'd like to make your dedication to my life.
Speaker 1: What's her name?
Speaker 3: Her name is Christina?
Speaker 1: And what do you want to tell the world about
Speaker 1: your bride.
Speaker 3: We've been together for a year and a half now
Speaker 3: and everybody's been against us, and about a month ago
Speaker 3: we split up. Well, we learned real quickly we could
Speaker 3: not live without each other.
Speaker 1: Why is everybody fighting against you?
Speaker 3: Her family didn't like my family. My family don't like
Speaker 3: her family. So Romeo and Juliet story.
Speaker 1: Her family and your family don't get along, Yes, ma'am,
Speaker 1: but you're the two that are married. Yes, it doesn't
Speaker 1: really matter what her family or your family thinks.
Speaker 3: It was a lot of stress of allowing people trying
Speaker 3: to come in between us, and it was decided that
Speaker 3: we needed a break, and we both realized that was
Speaker 3: the worst of we've ever done it. It was horrible
Speaker 3: away from each other.
Speaker 1: There's a very old book that says, and a man
Speaker 1: shall leave his mother, and a woman shall leave her home.
Speaker 1: And what that means is that you need to break away.
Speaker 1: Not that you stop loving your parents or stop honoring
Speaker 1: your parents, but you have to make a break from
Speaker 1: your parents and establish your own life.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, we have a beautiful, pretty much old daughter
Speaker 3: now and life is wonderful. I've recently got a great
Speaker 3: job and she's going to call us to be a nurse,
Speaker 3: and life is going great. And I love her so much.
Speaker 3: You know, she completes me.
Speaker 4: She really does well.
Speaker 2: Do me a favor.
Speaker 1: If anybody suggests again that they know better what you
Speaker 1: should be doing in your married life, suggests that they
Speaker 1: mind their own business.
Speaker 3: Yes, i'ned that I've learned that. But where my love
Speaker 3: and art?
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Delilah Show.
Speaker 2: Who is this?
Speaker 5: Hi?
Speaker 6: This is Jackie.
Speaker 1: What can I do for you?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 7: Actually, my boyfriend of the year we got into an
Speaker 7: argument last week and I don't know, like I felt
Speaker 7: really distanced from him lately, and I don't know if
Speaker 7: he's listening, but I just was hoping that you could
Speaker 7: play a song for us.
Speaker 1: So what was this little argument over I.
Speaker 6: Want to go back to school and his life is
Speaker 6: headed in a different direction, and I don't know if
Speaker 6: I'm going to be moving And you know, we haven't
Speaker 6: been together very long, and we're both really young, and
Speaker 6: so it's just kind of hard to know where our
Speaker 6: lives are leading us. And so you know, we just
Speaker 6: kind of argued about what we were going to do,
Speaker 6: and so it's really tough.
Speaker 2: But how old are you?
Speaker 7: I'm eighteen.
Speaker 1: Well here's a concept. Why don't you cross that bridge
Speaker 1: when you get to it? Yep? I mean, instead of
Speaker 1: future tripping and trying to decide what's going to happen,
Speaker 1: why don't you just love each other and enjoy each
Speaker 1: other this company, and have a great summer and wait
Speaker 1: and see what happens once that happens.
Speaker 6: I think that's a wonderful idea, Delilah.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you live in the hour, if you
Speaker 1: live in this moment, if you live in the day
Speaker 1: that God has given you, then the future will take.
Speaker 2: Care of itself.
Speaker 1: Honey, alrighty, but if you spend all your time and
Speaker 1: energy worrying about what's going to happen in the future
Speaker 1: and are we going to be able to stay together
Speaker 1: and should we date other people? And it's too many
Speaker 1: miles and blah blah blah blah blah, you'll not only
Speaker 1: mess up your future, you'll be messing up here here
Speaker 1: and now.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you're right. I hope he's listening, because I wishly
Speaker 6: could have heard that you said that too. I don't
Speaker 6: think I could tell him as well as you just did.
Speaker 2: Oh, I think you can.
Speaker 6: All right, Thank you so much, Jelilah.
Speaker 2: All right, good night, honey, good night. Hi Sean. What
Speaker 2: can I do for you?
Speaker 5: Well, I don't know right now with the caller, but
Speaker 5: we're having a bit of a trouble in our relationship,
Speaker 5: Like right now we're separated temporarily because me.
Speaker 1: And my significant other who may not be my significant other,
Speaker 1: because I don't know if we're going to make it work,
Speaker 1: but I really want it to work because I love.
Speaker 2: Her with all my heart and soul.
Speaker 5: Exactly is that.
Speaker 2: Where you're at?
Speaker 5: Exactly? You always know it?
Speaker 2: What led to.
Speaker 1: This separation between you and what's her?
Speaker 2: Name.
Speaker 5: Her name's Chelsea.
Speaker 1: What happened with you and Chelsea that you're in this quandary?
Speaker 5: Well, basically we were. We had a big fight and
Speaker 5: then over what she was talking to her ex boyfriend,
Speaker 5: who we've had problems with in the past.
Speaker 1: We've had problems with. Obviously, if she's talking to him,
Speaker 1: she's not having problems with it.
Speaker 5: Well, she had a problem with him in the past,
Speaker 5: but she got over it and I never did.
Speaker 1: She's still emotionally connected to her ax, which drives you nuts. Yes,
Speaker 1: and for whatever reason, she can't let go of that
Speaker 1: emotional tie and still Oh.
Speaker 5: Yes, she told me today that she that it was
Speaker 5: over between them and now she's devoted to me, and
Speaker 5: that made me really happy. And I just wanted to
Speaker 5: see if you can play a song for us that
Speaker 5: shows her that I forgive her and I understand.
Speaker 1: But what's to forgive, honey. She's not in the wrong
Speaker 1: for no.
Speaker 5: She I don't know how to say it, but.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, if she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend,
Speaker 1: that's not something she can control.
Speaker 5: Yes, I know that, it's just that she in a
Speaker 5: way has deceived me.
Speaker 2: Okay, so she can control the line.
Speaker 1: But if she still is emotionally connected to him, that's
Speaker 1: not something that can be wished away or made to
Speaker 1: go away, or you know, she can be honest with
Speaker 1: you about it, but if they still.
Speaker 5: Have an emotional sort of the deception, she lied a
Speaker 5: lot about the situation. That's the main part of it.
Speaker 1: Why are you wanting to stay in a relationship with
Speaker 1: somebody who is not emotionally.
Speaker 2: Available to you?
Speaker 5: Well, now, after talking to her today before she went
Speaker 5: into work, she explained everything to me and it said
Speaker 5: that she is now and I'm giving her a second
Speaker 5: chance because I believe that everyone deserves a second chance.
Speaker 2: Everyone does deserve a second chance. So I'm glad you
Speaker 2: guys are working it out.
Speaker 1: Good luck, sweetheart, Thank you, Hi Will, This is Delilah.
Speaker 1: What can I do for you tonight?
Speaker 4: The middle of a divorce and the child custody battle,
Speaker 4: and I know the relationship's over, but trying to get
Speaker 4: over it's been a real struggle with me because I
Speaker 4: have a lot of history with my wife and she's
Speaker 4: got a lot of mental problems and addictions, and I
Speaker 4: still have feelings for even though I know that it's
Speaker 4: for the best, and I'm trying to get that through
Speaker 4: to my own head. I find it difficult every day
Speaker 4: to be a challenge. You know, we have a child involved,
Speaker 4: and but I'm listening thinking myself, it's when.
Speaker 5: Does it end?
Speaker 1: When does your heart stop loving her? I guess when
Speaker 1: you love somebody with all of your heart, even though
Speaker 1: you see that it's not healthy, you see that it's
Speaker 1: not good, you see that it's destroying you, you still
Speaker 1: love them. The love doesn't go away. But what you
Speaker 1: have to do is decide, Okay, I love her, I
Speaker 1: will always love her, but I cannot be in relationship
Speaker 1: with her because it hurts too bad. Right, you have
Speaker 1: to get to a point where you can accept that
Speaker 1: somebody you love is not somebody that you can be
Speaker 1: in relationship with. That you can still love her, you
Speaker 1: can still wish her well, you can still cherish all
Speaker 1: those wonderful memories. You can still miss her, But you
Speaker 1: can't put yourself back in that mess.
Speaker 4: No, I can't.
Speaker 1: If your heart doesn't love again for years, it may
Speaker 1: take a long time.
Speaker 2: Who knows.
Speaker 1: It was twenty years for me before my my heart
Speaker 1: felt right and at home again, that I was able
Speaker 1: to truly give myself completely.
Speaker 2: But I still had a full life in that time.
Speaker 1: I just didn't allow myself. It's not that I didn't
Speaker 1: allow myself. I couldn't be in love because I wasn't
Speaker 1: in love. Let me find a song for you.
Speaker 4: Thanks you for talking with me.
Speaker 1: I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
Speaker 1: much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
Speaker 1: more with you each weekday on Hey, It's Delilah to Lo.