WEBVTT - Conversation with a Chauvinist 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.080 Hold up, because what's the definition of shelving this? Could 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:05.720 you could? You could? You could? You could hold let me, 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:10.319 let me get the misogynist. A misogynist is worse than 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:20.720 the shows. A missigetist. Don't give you massages, oh massuits, 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:26.160 massage my knee. Uh see, she knows a massages massage 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:30.920 of this giving massages here trying to interrupt you here, bullshit, 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:34.519 hec you're trying to call here to talk about his 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:36.519 truth because you know, you know he tried to call 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:39.280 me during that. I gotta talk to you about that. 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:41.760 Like you see, I'm going inline and you don't call me? 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.519 What you mean an attitude of superiority towards members of 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:49.640 the opposite sex, so it could be women or hold that, 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:54.800 repeat that, repeat. What is cheval is precutice, belief in 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:59.600 the superiority of one's own gender, group or kind. So 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.880 being that this is no sellings, I'm I'm I'm, I'm 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:10.200 I'm low man, Peter Boston, the low you're on the mic. 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:13.039 We're good, we lie, we hid them. So is it 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:20.360 fair to call what what's the what's what's uh? What's masculinity? 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:22.480 So is it fair to call your solving this is 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:25.240 that a real definition. Do you feel like your prejudice 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:32.920 muk no, No, because prejudice. Look this up. Prejudice means like, 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:37.120 I'm I'm kind of developing opinion or a hate towards 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:43.120 women without any experience. That's what prejudice is. Prejudice is 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:46.640 when I say something that's based on I don't even 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:50.360 have to have experience with them. Everything we're talking about 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:54.600 has to do with experiences. So it's personal experiences that 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:59.120 we're talking about. It's it's certainly profiling, but it's not. 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:02.560 But it's not, it's not prejudice. Yeah. Yeah, So I 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:05.040 am profile. So mom, you called me the profile guy 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:09.040 you call a profile and masculinity. So my man moved. 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:14.480 My man, SP's up? What's that? Man? Was going on? Brother, 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:20.639 we're getting in more trouble. So I did your podcast right, 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:23.360 and my childhood friend right that I grew up with. 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:27.960 She's married and everything she said listening to y'all podcast 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:33.240 was like being in the orgy and unwarned, unwarned, Like 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:36.400 she just stumbled in the room into an orgy and 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:40.359 me and nothing on her face. Yeah that's beautiful, man, 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:44.360 nothing on another woman's face. Her specific like all the 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:49.120 men got into an accidental orgy and ain't got nothing 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:52.600 in your face. That's that's how that's how that stop. 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:58.079 That's how much testosterone she must have felt. That podcast 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:00.800 was there, and I like that. I like that ask 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:03.760 a question, That's what I invite. Yeah, what is wrong 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:07.880 with test stops the wrong or the male's opinion, or 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:11.800 even hearing the male's opinion. I felt like when we 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:16.240 did our podcast, we were trying to give that energy 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.040 to the women so they understand what we what we feel, 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:21.040 because I feel like a lot of women don't even 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:23.040 know what men feel because they don't really give a 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:26.720 funk and a lot of instancetes, you know what I mean? 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.679 Women really care how men feel? I think so. I 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:33.920 don't think they care, but I think they're interested. And 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:36.440 we're gonna give it to him every time. That's for 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:40.240 show you our show, That's what you're gonna get every time. 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:46.480 But do you think women care about how men feel? No, honestly, 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:50.760 I honestly don't think they care. And and and what 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:53.080 I mean by that I'm talking about like honestly, well, 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:55.440 let me make sure I clarify myself. I think that 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:59.920 on the level in relationships. Uh. I think when they 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:03.120 not a relationship, they do a lot of talking, consulting 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:05.360 and all that ship they want to they want to 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:10.400 hear how we think they want to hear our perspectives. 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:14.360 You know, I guess I don't think that. I don't 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:16.480 think they give a funk how we actually feel though 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:18.960 about ship. I think they want to use that ship 0:04:18.960 --> 0:04:22.400 as ammunition in a relationship, and if they're not in 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:25.719 a relationship, they're like, fuck it, let's and then I 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:28.839 guess it's still ammunition. It's like, let's see what the 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.080 other side is doing. Let's see what the other funding 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.599 side is doing. So when I do get a motherfucker, 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.760 I feel like I'm ahead of the curve and I 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:38.320 can you know, That's why I think a lot of 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:41.599 this ship is dysfunctional me because a lot of times 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:46.400 it's coming from second hand information or oh I got you. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:48.520 Have you ever heard met a women that say I 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:50.279 grew up around a lot of dudes, so I gotta 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:53.119 all my friends, all my my my, my best friends 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:55.440 are male, and then they come at you with some 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:59.720 bullshit racist like a racist person. My friend is I 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:06.200 gotta black friends? You know, shut the door, Shut the 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:13.280 door fall back up. Yeah, So, um, do I think 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:18.200 women care about Do I think women care about how 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:27.600 we feel? H I want to believe So I think 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:31.480 I do. That was spoken like a true woman. Damn here, 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:34.040 I want to believe. Women always want to believe something 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:41.119 you hear. I'm not sure. I'm genuinely trying to think 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:45.040 do they care about man? Like, the more I was talking, 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:48.200 even when I was giving you my answer, I had 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:51.200 to like kind of think like, no, they don't give, 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:55.920 only to the extent that how we feel impacts them 0:05:55.920 --> 0:06:03.120 getting what they wanted exactly. So I just pragmatic sympathy. 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:16.760 It's pragmatic sympathy. Words are y um um ship okay, 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.560 because I feel like the thing that I do like 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:23.599 about your ship, right is I like the fact that 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:26.680 in today's time, is not the ship to be a 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:30.080 straight up man. If you're not soft, if you're not 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:35.120 bending over for whatever the cause is, motherfucker's is treating 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.800 you like something is wrong with you, you know what 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:41.000 I mean? Like, like I always say that to women, 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:46.320 like stop making these men compromise, you know what I mean? 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:49.479 The worst thing you can have is a floppy, flexible man. 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:53.919 You want your man stern and solid and straight. But 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:58.320 I feel like women. I do feel like women want 0:06:58.360 --> 0:07:01.479 you to give them a side of you that everybody 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:08.600 else hasn't had mhm right, and decide that they're supposed 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:15.520 to give you usually other people had. If that makes sense, 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.720 It makes a lot of sense because with that, the 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:22.200 thing that they're supposed to offer us, it's something in 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:29.480 two thousand twenty one that nine who you ask, they're 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:35.880 they're offering all sorts of other marginally valuable values. Marginally marginally. 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:41.320 He is fucked up this this dude, I love that. 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:43.520 I'm that's one of my new best friends, Pete is 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:48.080 called you know, you know, I want to touch on 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:53.040 this just for having us on here, and you're saying that, um, 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:56.000 they want us to do certain things, like they want 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:59.840 us to be great communicators. You know a lot of 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:02.200 him and say that I need you to communicate. I 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:04.760 need you to do this, you know. And some of 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:08.520 them got to understand this, and not all dudes is this, 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:13.440 but you know we I come. I gotta street background, 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:17.360 you know, and certain folks got it. You don't even 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:18.880 have to have a street background. Let me let me 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:20.840 make sure that's understood. You don't even have to have 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:24.320 a street background. As men, we've been known not to talk. 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:27.880 We've been known don't tell on people. Uh, don't snitch, 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:34.000 uh you know, don't cry, don't don't don't so and 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:41.240 just hope that don't don't tell them your background and education, Well, 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.120 because I don't want you just to be because people 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:46.640 will hear you black crip giving this unwarned opinion. Well, 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:49.960 y'all got my masters in psychology, right, you know what 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.320 I mean? Back to that, back to the don't don't 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:57.000 don't keep that going? Well, yeah, because you know, you know, 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:00.640 as growing up as males is, don't do this, don't 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:05.920 tell on people, don't talk, uh, don't cry. So then 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.880 when we're getting these relationships, like you said, a female 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:12.600 is asking us now to break that. And we've been 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:15.640 doing that longer than we're being even around you. So 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:19.959 we've been not talking, we've been not telling and not 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:24.439 giving up information right for all however many years it 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:29.320 is prior to her. So you want us to break 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:32.959 that habit, you know, So it's very hard for dudes 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:35.400 to do that. You know, I gotta interject real quickly. 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:38.080 They don't want you to break the habit. They want 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.400 you to perceive them as so special that you want 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:44.200 to break the habit. No, no, say it again, please repeat, 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.360 repeat again. They don't want you to break the habit. 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.760 They want you to perceive them as being so special 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:53.320 that you want to break the habit. And that's that's 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:58.040 a big difference. You're right, you're right. And the thing is, 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:03.520 though it's hard, you know, coming up when you come 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:05.840 up it from the streets, when you come up, just 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:10.480 as a male, it's hard to break that habit for anything, 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:14.319 even yourself, Like, even for yourself, it's hard to break 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:17.120 that habit when you when you know you might know, 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:19.840 guys have been y'all all have been in relationships and 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:24.599 you probably have fucked them off. And in those relationships 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:27.800 that you fucked off, you knew that it was probably 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:30.560 something you could have did outside of what you did 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:34.880 the fucking relationship off. But hommy, you was battling with ship, 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:39.160 whether it was from your past, present, or whatever the 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.120 case may be, you was battling with it just as 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:44.200 a man like I can't. I can't do this. This 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:47.120 ain't what men do. This ain't what I do. Like, 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:49.440 I can't show you that I feel I can't show 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:51.840 you that I'm crying. I can't do that. If I 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:56.080 do that, she's gonna have a hunted Joe's funny you 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:58.400 have a crowd in front of a girl, asked I 0:10:58.480 --> 0:11:01.520 have I have cried in front of a woman. I mean, 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:03.880 so I'm gonna talk about crying since you just asked 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:07.840 me that question. When I was younger, I couldn't cry 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.680 for ship, even if it was like worthy of crying. 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:13.400 You feel me like I was so hardened by my 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:19.440 my upbringing, by my household and you know, hyper masculinity, 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:24.560 hyper masculine pops, even a mom that was like super tough. Right, 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:30.280 So really, you know, I don't believe any child it's 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:34.080 born hard or wants to be hard. We developed that 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:39.680 ship just to learn behavior, right, So for me, I 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.560 would feel like, what the fund is wrong with? You? 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:45.880 Asked like you you can't even cry in situations that 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:50.120 you should be crying. You you feel bad, but your 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:55.840 your core uh emotion is anger and that anger ran 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.640 through me for like many years. You feel me where 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:01.080 to where it fucked up relay ship ships and fucked 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:04.720 up how I interact with people that I care about? Right? 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:10.520 And so when I first was able to cry around 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:14.200 a woman. To me, honestly, Bro, that ship was a 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:19.320 liberating experience because like, I needed to do that. And um, 0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:22.160 I'm not gonna go too deep into this this one, 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:25.160 but it was times where I just cried by myself 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:29.320 and I just felt better. I just felt instantly better. Bro. 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:33.200 And and I think the hypermasculinity that we have within 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.960 us because we got to survive in the streets. You 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.199 know what I'm saying. You ain't gotta be a crip 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:40.640 of blood, none of that. If you grew up, you 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:46.040 know what I'm saying, when we was really outside, you 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:52.240 went from maybe not so hard to like, I gotta 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:55.880 make my name. I gotta be a certain type of nigga. 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.640 And you like my my cousin alluded to in one 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:02.920 of our episodes. Man, we we got different characters. It's 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:07.959 the reason my name is sp spog, whatever your name is, Glasses, 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:14.480 that's mood. You know what I'm saying. Hear, but he's 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.360 still a gangster. White people can cry, but it's cool, 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:19.480 but like, but no, it's the reason why we have 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.240 most on God, bro, Like, and I don't want and 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:25.160 I don't want to cut you off. White people can 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.960 cry like it's okay for white me and to cry. 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:32.920 Kanye cried. Niggas thought he was losing his mind, but 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:36.840 he was going through pay and everybody. But think about that, 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:40.520 because like he cried on television at the thought of 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.560 aborting his daughter. If he would have let his wife 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:46.520 abhord his daughter, and he thought of a world without 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:51.200 his kid, he cried. And the first thing, every motherfucking 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:55.319 sister me and oh this nigga losing his mind. He 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:59.480 That's why I don't believe when women, especially the sisters, 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:01.760 say they are k with you crying in front of them. 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.640 They're all gonna try to comfort and lie to you. 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:08.400 But they do expect you to be stern, beyond belief, 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:12.400 but at the same time floppy as a fucking disk 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:15.640 emotional nigga. Kill you though, Think about what a woman 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:18.520 asked of you, bro. They want you to be. We 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:23.239 talked about this that day. They wanted to be organized confusion. 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.880 There's there's a control element to that. I want you 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:29.800 to be as vulnerable as you can possibly be with me, 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:32.080 and I'm also at the same time gonna hold that 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:35.520 against you. There's a there's a there's a certain power 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:39.200 play there, that's a chessboard move, and they all will 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:43.040 deny it. Like I've watched his story, like my man 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:45.800 so asked. My whole experiences the exact opposite. I grew 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:49.160 up everything could make me cry, and once I passed 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.600 twenty nothing could make me cry, and it was a 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:55.960 ton of worthy things to cry about. And I couldn't 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:59.520 express myself that way. So even like I could communicate great, 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:03.640 like can explain myself well, but if you're explaining like 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:07.360 women say they want communication, they don't want communication. Women 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:09.880 won't understand it. They don't want it to have a 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.520 conversation where they may have to adjust what they think. 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.640 They want you to feel what they're saying. So you 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.360 don't really want to communicate. That's just not true. They 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.880 be You know what the realist interaction ever captured on 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.520 film between the man and one was it was Rosie 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.600 Perez on white men can't jump or she didn't want 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:35.480 to gossa. She wanted you to sympathize with dry mouthedness. Yeah, 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:42.120 that and and and that goes back to the point 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:45.320 I'm saying she didn't want to communicate when the man 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:48.280 responded in simple because communication is a is a thing 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:51.800 of language, right, is language. So we're talking to someone 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:54.280 like in that movie white man can't drump right and 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:59.040 white men can't jump. If you tell me you're thirsty, 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:02.080 come communication. It's like, Okay, I got you. I'm going 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.320 to get you some water. And then if you come 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:08.560 back and tell me you don't want water, you don't 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:14.360 want to communicate. That's how we talk. We have to 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.520 use language because that we all understand it. They we 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.040 all understand. They don't want to communicate, they want to 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:23.240 be understood. And the problem with that is it's selfish, 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:27.840 is fun, and it's very hard to understand somebody that 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:31.680 does not effectively communicate. I mean that it's it's what's 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:35.160 supposed to happen via diffusion, meaning a woman of the men. 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:40.400 Either way, he just added a word that I need 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:47.120 people to really focus on in the communication process. It's effective, 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:54.200 you said, effectively communicating, And that is the big issue. 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:59.240 Everybody communicates, you know, but if you really think about, 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:04.399 nobody communicates effectively. But but again, I don't even think 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:09.439 they're doing it ineffectively because it will require you to listen. 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:14.680 No no, no, a communication no listen. Communication is communication? 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:18.159 Is this if I go like this and wave and 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:22.159 say hi. I communicate it. But but it requires like, 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:26.080 so you have to listen. Women don't want to listen, 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:29.840 they want to be heard, so listening right, So like 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:32.600 me and my man low talk about this right. Clinically, 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:36.159 the definition of listening is to listen. In so when 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:38.560 somebody speaking with you is to list and then end. 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:43.439 Women want to be heard. To hear is to acknowledge sound. Right. 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:45.600 So that's why when you're talking to a woman, you 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:48.880 could say something directly to them and they'll be like, well, 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:54.760 it sounds like you said, feel me. They're acknowledging the 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:58.080 sound of your voice. They're acknowledging the sound of the words. 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:02.600 They're not listening, they're acknowledging sounds. That's why nine out 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:06.159 of ten times women respond back with it sounds like 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:09.040 you said, and not just women, people who are hearing 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:12.680 and not listening. It sounds like you said, No, this 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:16.040 is what I said because I use perfect English or 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:18.679 slag because that you know all the definition of the words. 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:22.320 But can I add perception to to this? Guys? Is 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:27.000 because a lot of people they communicate and then they like, 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.080 like if I'm talking to my cousin, I'm talking to you. 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:34.160 The perception and and and on our show we talked 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.600 about tone and delivery, but the perception of what you 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:41.040 said we'll throw people off too, like they you might 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:44.560 be thinking it one way and they receive it another way. 0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.119 And now we have a whole different debacle, Like we 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.879 were on a whole different fucking conversation that we didn't 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:53.320 we I didn't even plan it to be that. So 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:58.280 now I'm in a situation where we're arguing about something 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.520 that I didn't even really plan on arguing about. And 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.040 that's the issue too, Like people have to be able 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:09.720 to communicate with listening, understanding, you know, and and really 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.320 take their fucking feelings out of this ship. People will 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.680 be sensitive about everything sometimes to the point where it's 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:20.359 like everything I say to you, you you're waiting for 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:23.919 that you gotta trigger. But that's when triggered people. But 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:27.439 that's because they're not listening. They're they're they're waiting to respond. 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:30.560 If you're waiting to respond, you're not listening. Waiting to 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:34.800 respond is actually an action. It's not like it's tough 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:39.160 to listen and wait to respond, right, it's tough, right, 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:41.560 So that's why they're looking to say something before you 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:47.760 even end the lists. Listen, before you end the list. 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:51.720 They're looking to respond. So people in head shout out 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:53.480 to head, shout out to my djuse but he always 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:56.919 say this, no, listen to what I'm saying. Stop what 0:19:57.080 --> 0:20:01.240 stop waiting to respond. So it's it's rough to communicate 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:04.639 with two different styles of people. You feel me women 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:07.679 and men are just very true from other planets. You 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:10.920 feel me so And that's a big issue too, because 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:14.120 we're not we're not the same. When do we get 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.520 to a point where we start to like look at 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:21.600 the other person and try to dive into and study them. 0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:25.879 That's but that's the ultimate growth, The ultimate growth, The 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:29.080 final level of growth, I believe, right is when you 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:31.080 just stop even giving the funk about what you think. 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:35.520 When you stop giving a funk about what you feel 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:37.879 as weird, does it sound all right? I'm sorry? I 0:20:37.960 --> 0:20:40.520 need you to, you know, because some people in the 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:44.160 back they don't be hearing that. Repeat that again, those 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:46.240 in the top of the bleachers day, in the top 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:49.720 of the belief I'm sorry. Lines like that, they gotta 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:55.239 get repeated. I think the ultimate growth is when you 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:57.919 stop worrying about what you think and worrying about what 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:01.800 you feel and start worrying about the other person. And 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:05.600 and it's a tough place because it leaves you vulnerable. 0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:10.800 But everything great happens based around vulnerability. Even when I 0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:14.359 make music, the times I'm most vulnerable or put myself 0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:17.399 in vulnerable spaces is when the art is receiving in 0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:21.200 its greatest form and it's rewarded either with extreme emotion. 0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:23.800 So if we're talking about let's say two Park must die, 0:21:24.880 --> 0:21:27.240 it's gonna be some people who hate it, right, But 0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:30.200 then they have never given my art this much emotion. 0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:33.200 And the people who actually can catch on to what's 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:36.920 going on are they're gonna respond in the all, men, 0:21:36.960 --> 0:21:40.120 you're a genius, This is brilliant, so you're gonna get 0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:45.159 the extreme of both. So I think, even when it 0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:49.679 comes to as men dealing with women, the ultimate growth 0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:52.800 is to stop worrying about what you think and feel 0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:55.800 because long as you have And that's why I said, 0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:57.639 it's rough to try to explain to them how you 0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:01.520 feel because you're asking them to come to around that 0:22:01.600 --> 0:22:05.000 they have no experience. Then you know, it's like asking 0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:08.920 your son too to play golf at Tiger Woods level, 0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:13.119 and he's never played golf, and women have never been meant. 0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:16.360 So I think for us, the smartest thing you could 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:19.040 do is pretty much be like, all right, what do 0:22:19.119 --> 0:22:22.880 you think and what do you feel? Yeah? You said 0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:26.119 something interesting about like dealing with women, you know, And 0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:30.000 I think that in relationships, both man and women spend 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:32.879 too much time trying to deal with the opposite and 0:22:32.920 --> 0:22:37.600 there's not a lot of a like bilateral attitude and 0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:42.159 agenda going in. It's what can we do to we 0:22:42.200 --> 0:22:44.680 want to do blank? How do we do blank? How 0:22:44.680 --> 0:22:49.719 do we accomplish that? And more worried about the individual 0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:52.119 parts of a hole than the actual hole itself. I 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:58.600 think that's where a lot of relationships struggle. Yeah. Yeah, 0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:05.560 I didn't want to make so all the masculinity, but 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:09.040 I'm saying it's just I think the more I think 0:23:09.080 --> 0:23:13.840 about it, I realized that ship where it's like, um, 0:23:14.080 --> 0:23:20.879 you you almost can't listen, because again, I think a 0:23:20.920 --> 0:23:24.960 woman wants to be heard. That's something that experience has 0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:29.159 taught me. They want to be heard. If you, like 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:33.080 I said, if you try to listen, it's not gonna work. 0:23:35.200 --> 0:23:37.720 So I want to enter this and though they're like 0:23:39.320 --> 0:23:41.399 and this is kind of personal, but I'm just gonna 0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:44.120 say it, like I would never be in a relationship 0:23:44.480 --> 0:23:49.040 ever if like I look for that, I'm gonna look 0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:52.040 for that first. Are you willing to hear me? Are 0:23:52.080 --> 0:23:57.200 you willing to understand my background, my flaws? No? No, no, 0:23:57.480 --> 0:24:00.440 but I'm just give your hands up answering. I don't 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:02.880 think that's true. I don't think that's it's true. That's true. 0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:06.320 It might be true, it's true, but they're not gonna 0:24:06.359 --> 0:24:11.040 understand anything. And let's not even say understand. Let me 0:24:11.119 --> 0:24:14.200 let me change the words and understand, like because I 0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:18.400 don't expect perfection because I know I'm sucking cold. I'm 0:24:18.440 --> 0:24:22.280 an asshole, so you're perfectly cold. I'm perfectly cold. But like, 0:24:22.320 --> 0:24:24.520 at the end of the day, are you going to 0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:26.760 even just hear me out? I don't even want you 0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:29.919 to understand because you said something earlier week. You know, 0:24:30.000 --> 0:24:33.280 we're two different species, were too, we're to two different 0:24:33.280 --> 0:24:35.680 types of people. But I don't want to never get 0:24:35.720 --> 0:24:39.320 into another situation where I'm being shut out, like you 0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:41.800 don't give a funk about what I'm talking about, Like 0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:45.000 everything is all the way on you you feel me. 0:24:45.359 --> 0:24:48.159 Everything is that. I mean, I don't want to be 0:24:48.240 --> 0:24:50.520 not I don't think the sisters is that bad though. 0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:53.240 I don't think they just I totally want to shut 0:24:53.280 --> 0:24:57.720 you out right. I just think they happen to value 0:24:57.760 --> 0:25:00.480 their agenda more than yours. But that's a that's bad 0:25:00.560 --> 0:25:07.000 because that's that. But see, see, because they want us 0:25:07.040 --> 0:25:12.560 to value that, they want us, they want us well, okay, 0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:18.080 so listen, all right, let me ask you. Let me 0:25:18.280 --> 0:25:23.200 let me see that. So, so Glasses, women always think 0:25:23.240 --> 0:25:27.880 they know best, and Glasses, but sorry, I just want 0:25:27.880 --> 0:25:31.239 to ask you one question, So Glasses, even when you're 0:25:31.280 --> 0:25:34.040