WEBVTT - Seth’s Story 0:00:15.356 --> 0:00:15.836 Pushkin. 0:00:19.356 --> 0:00:22.876 Hey, it's Jake. I hope you enjoyed our season The 0:00:22.916 --> 0:00:26.876 Truth about Sarah. We'll be having a live event later 0:00:26.956 --> 0:00:30.076 this year. It's going to be a conversation between me 0:00:30.636 --> 0:00:33.956 and my co host Jess McHugh, and we want to 0:00:33.996 --> 0:00:37.636 hear from you too. What questions do you have for 0:00:37.756 --> 0:00:41.876 us about this season? Send your questions to deep Cover 0:00:42.156 --> 0:00:46.036 at pushkin dot fm. That's deep Cover All one word 0:00:46.356 --> 0:00:50.436 at Pushkin dot fm, and stay tuned for more details 0:00:50.716 --> 0:00:55.436 on this event. Heads up. This episode contains a reference 0:00:55.476 --> 0:01:02.116 to suicide and detailed descriptions of combat. Hey, it's Jake here. 0:01:02.716 --> 0:01:06.396 I hope you enjoyed The Truth about Sarah this season. 0:01:06.996 --> 0:01:09.876 There were so many interviews Jess and I did that 0:01:09.956 --> 0:01:13.636 we just couldn't fit in, but that really stayed with us, 0:01:14.316 --> 0:01:17.116 kind of looping in our heads. Some of them are 0:01:17.156 --> 0:01:20.236 pretty haunting, and we wanted to share a few of 0:01:20.276 --> 0:01:24.356 these with you. This first one involves that song that 0:01:24.396 --> 0:01:26.756 you heard about in the last episode of the series, 0:01:27.396 --> 0:01:30.716 the Country Ballad, the one that Sarah went to Nashville 0:01:30.756 --> 0:01:34.676 to help create. In this episode, we're going to show 0:01:34.716 --> 0:01:37.876 you how that song came to be and introduce you 0:01:37.996 --> 0:01:42.676 to one person in particular who helps veterans make these songs. 0:01:43.436 --> 0:01:47.396 His name is Seth Cole, and once upon a time 0:01:48.396 --> 0:01:53.836 he was friends with Sarah Kevanaugh. Back in twenty nineteen, 0:01:54.436 --> 0:01:58.996 Sarah joined a songwriting program. It was run by Creative Vets, 0:01:59.476 --> 0:02:03.076 a nonprofit out of Nashville that helps veterans heal from 0:02:03.116 --> 0:02:07.596 trauma through music and art. You might remember the song 0:02:07.636 --> 0:02:10.876 that Sarah helped to create through that program. It was 0:02:10.876 --> 0:02:13.236 in our last episode and. 0:02:13.316 --> 0:02:21.036 Na smell the Soul a fields of Blood and down Ever, 0:02:21.476 --> 0:02:29.556 lookgat how heavy the silence was. Let's go back before 0:02:29.756 --> 0:02:30.636 the last ye. 0:02:30.876 --> 0:02:35.196 Sarah actually helped write two songs in Nashville. The second 0:02:35.476 --> 0:02:39.236 is a kind of soul searching love ballad called still 0:02:39.356 --> 0:02:42.996 See Me. The lyrics, well, they're all about this woman 0:02:43.196 --> 0:02:46.276 who's lost her way in life. Here, have a listen, 0:02:46.956 --> 0:02:56.036 goods round down, can't find me, good things, I'm done everything, 0:02:57.196 --> 0:02:59.156 scene on the darn. 0:02:59.876 --> 0:03:03.196 Sense, I'm not res. 0:03:04.556 --> 0:03:14.436 Scene fuste scene. 0:03:11.356 --> 0:03:15.196 I'm not who I used to be, and I can't 0:03:15.236 --> 0:03:19.676 find the me I've known. Yeah, it's almost like she 0:03:19.836 --> 0:03:23.196 was giving us a peek behind the curtain, hinting at 0:03:23.236 --> 0:03:25.756 the double life that she was leading and all the 0:03:25.836 --> 0:03:28.196 confusion and heartache that it caused. 0:03:28.796 --> 0:03:30.676 We all listened to her song and thought, oh, this 0:03:30.716 --> 0:03:33.316 is great, you know, wonderful, you got some more healing, 0:03:33.996 --> 0:03:35.716 and then just to come find out, you know, it 0:03:35.796 --> 0:03:38.436 was all a lie. It was all just smoke and mirrors. 0:03:39.836 --> 0:03:42.476 That's Seth Cole. He's the guy that I was telling 0:03:42.516 --> 0:03:46.356 you about. He works at Creative Vets. He's their veteran 0:03:46.396 --> 0:03:51.916 outreach coordinator, and Seth he actually met Sarah back when 0:03:51.916 --> 0:03:54.756 she was living her double life as a wounded veteran. 0:03:55.396 --> 0:03:55.596 Well. 0:03:55.676 --> 0:03:58.996 Seth was happy for Sarah that she'd found some catharsis. 0:03:59.716 --> 0:04:02.476 He told me that when you heard her song still 0:04:02.516 --> 0:04:06.356 see me, something about it just didn't seem right. 0:04:07.876 --> 0:04:11.836 I I couldn't put my finger on it, but I 0:04:12.036 --> 0:04:15.556 just didn't. I didn't believe the song. I did not 0:04:15.676 --> 0:04:17.916 believe this song that was That was the first thing 0:04:17.956 --> 0:04:19.876 that I had thought. But I was just like, oh, well, 0:04:19.956 --> 0:04:22.196 maybe you know, there are a few things in there 0:04:22.196 --> 0:04:23.716 that didn't make sense to me because a lot of 0:04:23.756 --> 0:04:25.316 the songs you can listen to and you can like, 0:04:25.356 --> 0:04:27.796 oh yeah, yeah, I could see that happening, but hers, 0:04:27.796 --> 0:04:30.196 it just it just had something to it. 0:04:30.276 --> 0:04:32.556 I didn't. It just wasn't wasn't connecting. 0:04:34.116 --> 0:04:37.556 When I interviewed Seth back in November, we talked for hours. 0:04:38.596 --> 0:04:43.556 I heard his whole story, and, like so much of 0:04:43.596 --> 0:04:47.436 what you've heard this season, that story it will once 0:04:47.476 --> 0:04:50.756 again change the way that you think about Sarah Kavanaugh. 0:04:56.156 --> 0:05:01.076 Welcome back to Deep Cover Season six, The Truth about Sarah. 0:05:01.116 --> 0:05:25.956 This is Seth's story. Let me start by telling you 0:05:26.236 --> 0:05:29.716 how Seth found his way to Creative Vets. He first 0:05:29.796 --> 0:05:33.756 joined as a participant, a veteran looking for something, anything 0:05:33.836 --> 0:05:37.636 that might help him find some solace. Then he volunteered, 0:05:37.956 --> 0:05:42.276 and eventually he joined the staff. Now Seth's the guy 0:05:42.356 --> 0:05:45.236 you talk to when you reach out to Creative Vets. 0:05:45.876 --> 0:05:50.356 Veterans who call are sometimes shy and skeptical, but Seth, 0:05:51.116 --> 0:05:52.796 he's got a hell of an opening spiel. 0:05:53.636 --> 0:05:55.556 I just say hey. I'll start out. 0:05:55.556 --> 0:05:57.636 My name is Seth Cole. I'm a veteran of the 0:05:57.676 --> 0:06:00.396 Iraq War, and I made it about six months into 0:06:00.396 --> 0:06:03.116 my deployment before I was hit with Martin nineteen grenade 0:06:03.756 --> 0:06:06.636 and that completely ended my career. I ended up going 0:06:06.676 --> 0:06:09.636 back to Walter Reed and I woke up and fifty 0:06:09.676 --> 0:06:11.956 seven where they were talking about cutting my right arm off. 0:06:12.116 --> 0:06:13.956 You're just dropping all this on them. 0:06:14.236 --> 0:06:16.076 I'm just dropping all of it on them because I 0:06:16.116 --> 0:06:18.516 want them to do the same thing with me. I 0:06:18.556 --> 0:06:21.436 want them to reciprocate exactly what I just did. If 0:06:21.476 --> 0:06:24.116 they went through something so totally dark that it put 0:06:24.196 --> 0:06:26.756 him in that space of mine that you know, I 0:06:26.796 --> 0:06:29.276 can't go further. I need them to tell me that, 0:06:29.316 --> 0:06:30.876 and so I tell my whole story. 0:06:31.836 --> 0:06:35.676 Seth's story it has a rocky start. He grew up 0:06:35.676 --> 0:06:38.596 in Kansas in a small town called Stafford. 0:06:39.956 --> 0:06:43.636 I've went all the way through life, you know, pretty 0:06:43.676 --> 0:06:47.196 much five years old, didn't know a dad, didn't know 0:06:47.276 --> 0:06:49.756 anything about life. My mom said, my dad ran off. 0:06:50.116 --> 0:06:52.516 She brought another guy into my life at five. That 0:06:52.676 --> 0:06:56.196 was my stepdad. When I was fourteen, my mom and 0:06:56.316 --> 0:07:00.916 my stepdad got divorced and she decided that she wanted 0:07:00.956 --> 0:07:02.996 to marry a new guy, and that guy didn't want 0:07:02.996 --> 0:07:05.516 any kids. So at fourteen, I was kicked out of 0:07:05.556 --> 0:07:08.556 the house. You were fourteen at the time, Yeah, I 0:07:08.636 --> 0:07:10.996 was fourteen. I've been living on my own since I 0:07:11.036 --> 0:07:11.956 was fourteen years old. 0:07:12.276 --> 0:07:15.196 And were you so? Were you? Were you going to school? 0:07:15.476 --> 0:07:15.756 I did? 0:07:15.916 --> 0:07:18.596 I did up until about junior year, and then in 0:07:18.716 --> 0:07:21.076 junior year, I just couldn't keep up with it anymore. 0:07:21.076 --> 0:07:25.356 It was either work or go to school. And so 0:07:25.516 --> 0:07:28.156 I was just I was tired of finding myself not 0:07:28.276 --> 0:07:30.876 being able to have water, not being able to have electricity, 0:07:30.956 --> 0:07:33.116 or not being able to have gas or you know. 0:07:33.196 --> 0:07:34.116 So I had to I had to. 0:07:34.036 --> 0:07:35.396 Figure something out, and I had to go get a 0:07:35.396 --> 0:07:35.876 better job. 0:07:37.156 --> 0:07:41.036 So Seth gets a job painting grain elevators. You know 0:07:41.276 --> 0:07:44.236 those big metal towers pointed at the top. You see 0:07:44.236 --> 0:07:49.116 them scattered throughout the Midwest. Anyway, Seth painted those and 0:07:49.636 --> 0:07:52.316 he picked up other jobs wherever he could. He says 0:07:52.436 --> 0:07:55.996 he worked long hours, not much pay. He was stuck, 0:07:56.516 --> 0:07:59.356 and he knew he needed a way out, a way forward. 0:08:00.116 --> 0:08:01.556 I was just like, Okay, what am I going to 0:08:01.556 --> 0:08:02.916 do with life? And how am I going to get 0:08:02.916 --> 0:08:04.876 out of the situation. So I went to the military, 0:08:04.956 --> 0:08:06.556 then the National Guard. It was like, yeah, we can 0:08:06.556 --> 0:08:09.596 get you in there. We'll ship you out in about May, and. 0:08:09.676 --> 0:08:10.596 That was that. 0:08:11.156 --> 0:08:14.316 Seth was now a member of the US military. After 0:08:14.396 --> 0:08:17.876 some training, he was sent overseas in two thousand and seven. 0:08:18.756 --> 0:08:22.796 So I got deployed to Mamadia Iraq. I saw a 0:08:22.836 --> 0:08:25.676 lot of things that I probably didn't want to, you know, 0:08:25.756 --> 0:08:28.516 that very first week, and then after that it was 0:08:28.596 --> 0:08:33.076 just like downhill, you know, everything from dead camels to 0:08:33.756 --> 0:08:34.476 dead humans. 0:08:35.156 --> 0:08:39.236 Seth says that from the start it was chaos, just 0:08:39.436 --> 0:08:42.196 one thing after another, and it didn't let up. 0:08:42.836 --> 0:08:45.396 Every day from that point on was either a mortar 0:08:45.436 --> 0:08:48.476 attack or a rocket attack, or you know, some sort 0:08:48.516 --> 0:08:51.676 of crazy thing that happened. We had mass casualty come 0:08:51.756 --> 0:08:55.636 in and everybody was being run out by gurneys and 0:08:55.876 --> 0:08:58.076 I'm probably one hundred yards away looking at this. We 0:08:58.076 --> 0:09:00.636 were in one of the worst areas in Iraq, and 0:09:00.956 --> 0:09:01.476 it showed. 0:09:02.876 --> 0:09:06.116 One day, Seth was given an assignment to set up 0:09:06.116 --> 0:09:10.356 a radar system in between two villages. Seth was with 0:09:10.436 --> 0:09:13.796 his buddy, another soldier. Someone took a shot at them 0:09:13.996 --> 0:09:17.356 from behind a tree line. The bullet hit the sandbag 0:09:17.356 --> 0:09:20.036 in front of him. His buddy, who was holding this 0:09:20.156 --> 0:09:23.676 Mark nineteen grenade launcher, jerked it down into his lap 0:09:24.236 --> 0:09:26.756 and it was an old piece of gear no safety. 0:09:27.316 --> 0:09:31.796 The trigger depressed it fired, The round hit a wall, 0:09:32.236 --> 0:09:36.596 ricocheted and exploded three feet from Seth's face. 0:09:37.676 --> 0:09:40.276 As I just thought about it for a second. I 0:09:40.676 --> 0:09:43.356 had dropped a piece of brain out of my head, 0:09:43.756 --> 0:09:45.716 which I thought was a clot. I picked it up 0:09:45.916 --> 0:09:48.116 just to, you know, just to make sure, and it 0:09:48.316 --> 0:09:49.756 was a piece of brain, and I was like, oh 0:09:49.756 --> 0:09:52.156 my god, this is not good. At that point, I 0:09:52.236 --> 0:09:56.436 was just like, oh, oh crap, I'm dead. And so 0:09:56.516 --> 0:09:58.996 I passed out and I was in and out of consciousness. 0:09:59.116 --> 0:10:02.596 They did like the triage and bagdad. They did a 0:10:02.676 --> 0:10:06.236 surgery and ballade and then I woke up and ic 0:10:06.436 --> 0:10:08.036 you and Walter read. 0:10:09.236 --> 0:10:13.156 Seth suffered a traumatic brain injury. He spent three and 0:10:13.156 --> 0:10:17.156 a half months recovering at Walter Reid, then another year 0:10:17.196 --> 0:10:20.476 and a half at a hospital in Fort Riley, Kansas. 0:10:21.396 --> 0:10:24.556 Once he was stable, he moved to Washington State and 0:10:24.756 --> 0:10:28.036 tried to start over. He enrolled in college in a 0:10:28.036 --> 0:10:33.596 clinical psychology program, but then the seizures started bad ones. 0:10:33.996 --> 0:10:37.556 He had to drop out. He couldn't drive, he couldn't work. 0:10:38.436 --> 0:10:43.116 He told me he felt completely cut off alone, and 0:10:43.196 --> 0:10:48.956 things got dark, so dark he thought about ending his life. Then, 0:10:49.196 --> 0:10:53.836 in twenty sixteen, almost a decade after his time in Iraq, 0:10:54.756 --> 0:10:56.276 he got a lifeline. 0:10:56.316 --> 0:11:00.596 The What A Way of Project. They reached out to 0:11:00.636 --> 0:11:02.236 me and they said, hey, we want to put you 0:11:02.276 --> 0:11:06.236 into this program called the Independence Program, and it's a 0:11:06.276 --> 0:11:09.396 lifelong deal where we follow you throughout life and I'll 0:11:09.556 --> 0:11:12.036 help you with services. Help you get a CSS, which 0:11:12.076 --> 0:11:15.316 is community support specialist more or less just a caregiver 0:11:15.396 --> 0:11:18.956 to help you clean your house, take you to appointments. 0:11:19.156 --> 0:11:21.636 Do you know, because at one point, with all those seiters, 0:11:21.636 --> 0:11:22.356 I couldn't drive. 0:11:23.396 --> 0:11:25.556 All of a sudden, Seth had the support that he 0:11:25.636 --> 0:11:29.316 desperately needed. He got all kinds of help from Wounded Warrior, 0:11:29.996 --> 0:11:33.716 including retreats where he could connect with other veterans. 0:11:34.476 --> 0:11:36.236 One of the things that they had though for this, 0:11:36.396 --> 0:11:38.996 saying was a financial summit to kind of teach you 0:11:39.036 --> 0:11:43.716 how to balance the budget, keep savings, to you know, 0:11:44.436 --> 0:11:46.236 play with the stock market if that's what you want 0:11:46.236 --> 0:11:49.836 to do. And that's where Sarah Russell, Travis and. 0:11:49.796 --> 0:11:55.476 I all met Sarah as in Sarah Kavanaugh. At the time, 0:11:55.876 --> 0:11:59.516 Sarah was also enrolled in the Wounded Warrior Independence Program. 0:12:00.356 --> 0:12:03.636 She even had someone helping her at home with daily tasks. 0:12:04.476 --> 0:12:07.716 At that retreat, Seth formed deep connections with the people 0:12:07.756 --> 0:12:10.436 that he met there was Russ the Salt of the 0:12:10.476 --> 0:12:14.716 Earth former Green Beret. There was Travis from Detroit who 0:12:14.836 --> 0:12:19.756 was a double amputee, and then of course there was Sarah. 0:12:20.116 --> 0:12:22.876 Seth told us that he heard stories from Sarah about 0:12:22.876 --> 0:12:26.196 her service stories you may recognize by now. 0:12:27.076 --> 0:12:30.156 She said she went to Afghanistan, she ended up having 0:12:30.196 --> 0:12:34.156 an ide go off pretty much right beside her and 0:12:34.356 --> 0:12:35.836 broke it, shattered her hips. 0:12:36.596 --> 0:12:40.116 Seth remembers the first time that he saw Sarah standing 0:12:40.156 --> 0:12:42.756 in the hotel lobby mingling with the other vets. 0:12:43.956 --> 0:12:48.396 She was she was outgoing. That that was the biggest thing. 0:12:48.516 --> 0:12:50.956 Like she was talking to everybody and she was out going. 0:12:50.996 --> 0:12:56.596 She definitely struck an interest because I wanted I wanted 0:12:56.596 --> 0:12:58.516 that bug that she had, if she was able to 0:12:58.556 --> 0:13:00.476 go through all the crap that she said she was 0:13:01.516 --> 0:13:01.796 and be. 0:13:01.796 --> 0:13:02.836 Able to be that bubbly. 0:13:02.956 --> 0:13:04.836 I wanted that bug because I wanted to be able 0:13:04.876 --> 0:13:06.836 to get back to being a social butterfly. And so 0:13:07.836 --> 0:13:11.396 I just kind of gravitated words that and I guess 0:13:11.476 --> 0:13:15.236 that you know, Travis and Russ both saw the same thing. 0:13:15.716 --> 0:13:18.316 It organically kicked off. We hung out with each other 0:13:18.356 --> 0:13:18.996 the whole time. 0:13:19.596 --> 0:13:23.116 This is something that we've seen before. Sarah shows up 0:13:23.116 --> 0:13:26.596 at these events, surrounded by real vets, many of them struggling, 0:13:27.436 --> 0:13:31.636 and somehow she just fits right in. She finds community, 0:13:31.916 --> 0:13:35.116 She blends, she bonds. She knows how to connect in 0:13:35.156 --> 0:13:38.916 these small group settings where people can often be guarded 0:13:39.436 --> 0:13:45.356 but also quietly yearning for connection, and she doesn't overplay it. 0:13:46.076 --> 0:13:50.316 A sore hip here, a bad back there, nothing wild, 0:13:50.596 --> 0:13:54.276 at least not at first, nothing that sets off alarms, 0:13:54.396 --> 0:13:56.756 just enough to pass as one of them. 0:13:57.076 --> 0:13:58.636 Every once in a while she'd be like, oh, my 0:13:58.716 --> 0:14:01.156 hips are tired, and so Russ had picked her up 0:14:01.156 --> 0:14:03.716 and give her a piggyback ride. She was blaming that 0:14:03.756 --> 0:14:06.316 on Oh my hips are killing me and my back's certain. 0:14:06.396 --> 0:14:09.356 I've got so many metal rods in my body, you know, 0:14:09.396 --> 0:14:12.116 And so I mean, it was just like the normal 0:14:12.196 --> 0:14:14.236 stuff that if somebody had been through an ID or 0:14:14.236 --> 0:14:17.276 somebody'd been through a traumatic incident, you know that you know, 0:14:17.436 --> 0:14:20.156 really hurt their body. That that was the kind of 0:14:20.156 --> 0:14:23.036 stuff that she was portraying. You know, it was just like, Okay, yeah, 0:14:23.556 --> 0:14:25.596 you're pretty messed up, just like the rest of us. 0:14:25.636 --> 0:14:28.316 You know, we got Travis who's a double amputee wheeling 0:14:28.396 --> 0:14:29.116 beside us. 0:14:30.836 --> 0:14:34.156 After the retreat. This new group of friends continued to 0:14:34.196 --> 0:14:37.796 swap advice, share what they learned about how to navigate 0:14:37.836 --> 0:14:41.236 the system and make the most of the resources available 0:14:41.316 --> 0:14:46.636 to veterans and get this. It was actually Sarah who 0:14:46.636 --> 0:14:49.756 first told them about Creative Vets, the program that helps 0:14:49.836 --> 0:14:53.836 veterans make songs about their life, and there was another 0:14:53.916 --> 0:14:58.116 program that Creative Vets ran also where veterans could create 0:14:58.356 --> 0:15:03.996 artwork like paintings. Sarah, she passed this info along. Seth 0:15:04.036 --> 0:15:07.996 eventually signed up kind of half convinced, and he got 0:15:08.036 --> 0:15:11.996 accepted into one of Creative Vets art programs. At the time, 0:15:12.476 --> 0:15:15.796 he didn't know what impact it would have. He just 0:15:15.876 --> 0:15:18.876 knew he was in a dark place, really dark. 0:15:20.516 --> 0:15:23.756 So before that, I had been planning on just going 0:15:23.796 --> 0:15:29.196 and saying goodbye to Russ and you know, even Sarah 0:15:29.236 --> 0:15:32.996 at that time, and just kind of coming back and 0:15:33.036 --> 0:15:35.156 eating a bullet. I had been thinking about it for 0:15:35.196 --> 0:15:37.716 a very long time. I had a spot picked out, 0:15:37.836 --> 0:15:40.396 you know, so that was what it was going to be. 0:15:42.516 --> 0:15:46.476 But fortunately something got in between him and that bullet. 0:15:46.636 --> 0:15:49.156 That date he'd made on the calendar to attend to 0:15:49.196 --> 0:15:52.676 the Creative Vets retreat. It was an art program, held 0:15:52.676 --> 0:15:56.596 in the campus of USC in Los Angeles. He spent 0:15:56.636 --> 0:16:00.036 two weeks there. Russ and Sarah went with him. The 0:16:00.076 --> 0:16:04.396 three of them hung out and explored the city, Venice Beach, Malibu, 0:16:04.516 --> 0:16:08.716 the Santa Monica peer in class. Set did his artwork 0:16:09.236 --> 0:16:12.876 and he made a piece called Dinner before Disaster. It 0:16:12.956 --> 0:16:14.956 was his way of telling the story of what had 0:16:14.956 --> 0:16:18.036 happened to him in Iraq. The title comes from that 0:16:18.196 --> 0:16:21.996 moment just before the grenade exploded, when he'd been eating 0:16:21.996 --> 0:16:25.556 a meal. He welded a metal brain and he set 0:16:25.596 --> 0:16:28.556 it next to a ceramic bowl. Then he caught a 0:16:28.636 --> 0:16:31.196 chunk out of that brain to show the part that 0:16:31.276 --> 0:16:36.196 was lost, and he scattered sand all around it. For 0:16:36.356 --> 0:16:40.836 Seth making this was so cathartic, and it brought him 0:16:40.876 --> 0:16:43.836 a realization about the power of creating art. 0:16:44.396 --> 0:16:47.716 I went out there and in the time that I 0:16:47.796 --> 0:16:51.116 was out there doing all that stuff, a light bulb 0:16:51.196 --> 0:16:52.716 hit and I was like, man, I could share this 0:16:52.756 --> 0:16:54.796 with everybody, and this kid actually helped them to get 0:16:54.876 --> 0:16:56.036 through some of these traumas. 0:16:56.836 --> 0:16:58.796 And so when. 0:16:58.276 --> 0:17:00.116 I got done with the program, instead of going and 0:17:00.156 --> 0:17:02.316 eating that bullet, I went back and threw myself into 0:17:02.316 --> 0:17:07.756 the VA and the volunteer side, and so you know 0:17:07.796 --> 0:17:11.876 that that was my life changing moment. 0:17:11.916 --> 0:17:15.316 It just it put a new sense of purpose into me. 0:17:24.316 --> 0:17:42.236 We'll be right back. After his time in Los Angeles 0:17:42.356 --> 0:17:45.276 at the art retreat, Seth did okay for a while. 0:17:45.996 --> 0:17:49.876 Then COVID hit and Seth, like so many of us, 0:17:50.036 --> 0:17:53.716 struggled with the shutdowns and the isolation. Then you got 0:17:53.716 --> 0:17:57.276 a call from the executive director of Creative Vets asking 0:17:57.356 --> 0:18:00.356 him if he wanted to participate in a songwriting program 0:18:00.596 --> 0:18:01.196 over zoom. 0:18:02.076 --> 0:18:04.676 Everybody was, you know, sitting in their house and I 0:18:04.716 --> 0:18:06.556 was getting back to that spot again, you know. But 0:18:06.596 --> 0:18:09.116 I was like, Okay, there's something that's going to happen. 0:18:09.196 --> 0:18:12.156 And Richard called and he was like, Hey, we're going 0:18:12.236 --> 0:18:15.276 to do a virtual song right since we can't bring 0:18:15.316 --> 0:18:16.396 everybody out to Nashville. 0:18:16.396 --> 0:18:18.196 Would you be up for that? I said, yeah, why not. 0:18:19.556 --> 0:18:22.636 Seth was not a musician, but because the whole art 0:18:22.636 --> 0:18:25.876 retreat in Los Angeles had gone so well, he figured, 0:18:26.436 --> 0:18:29.276 let me give this a try. Seth was assigned a 0:18:29.316 --> 0:18:33.076 mentor and a songwriter who listened carefully to his story. 0:18:34.236 --> 0:18:37.116 They asked me, you know, what do you have on 0:18:37.156 --> 0:18:37.516 your mind? 0:18:37.556 --> 0:18:40.036 And I was like, look, I'm interested in being able 0:18:40.076 --> 0:18:42.036 to take pretty much my whole life, you know, and 0:18:42.076 --> 0:18:44.356 put it into here and then that way that I 0:18:44.396 --> 0:18:47.076 can just put all that Charlotte behind me. And they 0:18:47.076 --> 0:18:50.116 were like, okay, yeah, let's do that. And so I 0:18:50.116 --> 0:18:52.236 started pretty much from the beginning where I did with you, 0:18:52.596 --> 0:18:56.596 and I went all the way through everything. This took 0:18:56.676 --> 0:18:59.596 like six hours or more just to be able to 0:18:59.596 --> 0:19:00.636 get everything done and on. 0:19:02.156 --> 0:19:03.476 You know, that piece of paper. 0:19:04.236 --> 0:19:06.156 And by the time we were all said and done, 0:19:06.596 --> 0:19:09.636 they had the melody, the song, the leader, all that 0:19:09.636 --> 0:19:12.396 stuff put together, and we took it over to the 0:19:12.396 --> 0:19:14.996 studio the next day and put it down on track. 0:19:15.956 --> 0:19:19.836 For years, Seth carried the weight of his story without 0:19:19.836 --> 0:19:23.436 a place to set it down. But here, through this 0:19:23.556 --> 0:19:27.596 songwriting program, he found this space and the courage to 0:19:27.676 --> 0:19:33.356 lay it all out. Trauma, memory, truth all transformed into melody. 0:19:34.076 --> 0:19:37.476 What had once felt unspeakable was now a song. 0:19:38.796 --> 0:19:41.916 You know, just such an amazing experience come out of there, 0:19:42.076 --> 0:19:45.156 even being virtual. When I got off the computer, I 0:19:45.236 --> 0:19:47.956 was so happy and elated and just ready to go. 0:19:48.956 --> 0:19:51.556 And the song, it was something that he could share. 0:19:52.436 --> 0:19:55.916 You've been able to put this out and get things 0:19:56.236 --> 0:19:58.756 you know on paper that you know you don't ever 0:19:58.796 --> 0:20:00.876 have to talk about again. Now you can pass this 0:20:00.956 --> 0:20:03.476 song over to somebody and that'll explain. 0:20:03.236 --> 0:20:03.996 Your story for you. 0:20:04.316 --> 0:20:06.476 What was it like the first time you heard this song, 0:20:06.556 --> 0:20:10.876 like as an actual song with music and someone singing, Oh. 0:20:10.716 --> 0:20:14.476 My gosh, it was like goosebumps everywhere like that. That 0:20:14.676 --> 0:20:16.316 was my story coming to life. 0:20:16.516 --> 0:20:19.036 And it actually made an impact on not only me 0:20:19.196 --> 0:20:21.996 but the people around me, because every time that I 0:20:22.036 --> 0:20:23.996 shared that song, every time that I sang that song, 0:20:24.036 --> 0:20:28.916 every time I played it, it was just someone came 0:20:29.036 --> 0:20:31.556 up with something new to say about it. 0:20:31.596 --> 0:20:34.036 Well, do you sing? Can you sing a lyric? A 0:20:34.076 --> 0:20:36.756 line for me? Are you not a singer? I do sing? 0:20:37.516 --> 0:20:42.956 Give us a line? Then all right. 0:20:44.476 --> 0:20:50.836 You don't get to choose your flesh shan blue hell 0:20:51.036 --> 0:20:58.196 you raised away from Sometimes it calls your dell tane. 0:20:58.276 --> 0:21:01.676 Fancy you fold your hands to the man upstairs when 0:21:01.716 --> 0:21:05.596 the way he's putting on is just too much. 0:21:07.516 --> 0:21:09.076 You can choose. 0:21:09.636 --> 0:21:15.316 Break you down, fine, to keep you alive man, finely 0:21:16.316 --> 0:21:18.276 side to rise bub. 0:21:23.636 --> 0:21:23.956 Man. 0:21:27.036 --> 0:21:30.356 Yeah, that song gets me every time anyway, So sorry 0:21:30.436 --> 0:21:35.836 for the non warm up singing, No You're good. Debut 0:21:35.876 --> 0:21:39.556 at the opry. I've had a couple of times. We've 0:21:39.596 --> 0:21:43.796 been on the field of the Titans game. We've been, 0:21:44.716 --> 0:21:46.796 gosh where else it played on the field of the 0:21:46.796 --> 0:21:47.476 Titans game. 0:21:48.116 --> 0:21:51.596 Ladies and gentlemen, here the fourth that song Rise up Bull, 0:21:51.636 --> 0:21:54.516 Please put your hands together for correct Campbell. 0:21:59.956 --> 0:22:04.276 Some people have a picture perfect childhood with the house 0:22:04.356 --> 0:22:04.916 of Home. 0:22:05.356 --> 0:22:05.796 Know you. 0:22:09.836 --> 0:22:13.076 Seth told me about this moment standing in the Titans 0:22:13.116 --> 0:22:18.596 stadium before tens of thousands of fans and these musicians 0:22:18.676 --> 0:22:22.156 are performing his songs, belting out the words to his 0:22:22.276 --> 0:22:27.156 story like an anthem of hardship and resilience. People are cheering, 0:22:27.836 --> 0:22:31.316 and then, in a scene that could probably only happen 0:22:31.396 --> 0:22:34.956 in America, they offer Seth one final tribute. 0:22:35.716 --> 0:22:38.636 Seth, thank you so much. You've given so much to 0:22:38.716 --> 0:22:42.036 your country. Now as a single father of five, you're 0:22:42.076 --> 0:22:45.076 giving so much to these kids. And how about a 0:22:45.156 --> 0:22:49.076 twenty twenty four Nissan Pathfinder planning a magician so you 0:22:49.116 --> 0:22:59.556 can get these kids in to store. We loved brother, 0:23:01.436 --> 0:23:04.076 what more time with that doll, Ladies and gentlemen. 0:23:07.636 --> 0:23:09.556 My kids that I were all setting out and it 0:23:09.676 --> 0:23:12.036 was just one of the most emotional moments in my life. 0:23:12.116 --> 0:23:15.116 It was really one of those experiences I can't put 0:23:15.156 --> 0:23:15.636 into words. 0:23:15.636 --> 0:23:16.596 It was just all emotion. 0:23:28.436 --> 0:23:31.356 Even though Seth has found some healing and community at 0:23:31.436 --> 0:23:35.596 great events, it still hasn't been an easy path for him. 0:23:35.956 --> 0:23:38.996 His friend Travis, the one from Detroit who was a 0:23:38.996 --> 0:23:43.956 double amputee, he passed away in twenty twenty one. His 0:23:44.036 --> 0:23:48.356 memory stays with Seth and it still kind of tears 0:23:48.396 --> 0:23:50.796 him up that he couldn't have done more to help 0:23:50.836 --> 0:23:52.476 this friend and fellow veteran. 0:23:54.116 --> 0:23:58.156 I had just talked to him the month before and 0:23:59.596 --> 0:24:01.956 he was doing good. He was learning language, he was 0:24:02.076 --> 0:24:04.876 you know, he had a plan for life. And you know, 0:24:05.076 --> 0:24:10.036 something happened that week that, you know, just completely threw 0:24:10.116 --> 0:24:12.676 him back into that spiral, and so he went back 0:24:12.716 --> 0:24:16.156 to go find pain relief and found death instead. 0:24:17.516 --> 0:24:21.436 Seth told us that Travis never applied to a program 0:24:21.476 --> 0:24:25.556