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Speaker 1: Welcome to jay Dot in a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: What's Up Everybody? It is your friendly neighborhood Jill Scott

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Speaker 1: and I'm here with my cohorts Lia Sinclair. Hellllo, I'm

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Speaker 1: the Fantastic Age a great and dance jamming on the one,

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Speaker 1: Jemmy jiving on the splint Jimmy, baby, Baby, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm done, baby. I don't know what to say. Oh perfect, right? Oh?

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Speaker 1: What was what was rudy sound? It was Chris was

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to say. Wasn't there an animal

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Speaker 1: sound that she had a Oh yes, it was a

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Speaker 1: zebra or jirette? I don't remember that. As you could tell,

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Speaker 1: we all grew up on the Kasby Show. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we call that the Hustables post the rest. I'm just joking, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the Huxtables. We grew up on the Hunstables. Such a

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Speaker 1: great show man. It really was, and it still is,

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Speaker 1: Like I can't even front. I absolutely get some parenting

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Speaker 1: lessons every time I watch it. My kids are now

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Speaker 1: watching it. Wait a minute, I still use the one

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Speaker 1: about the stake on the trash? Can lid tell me

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Speaker 1: that one? Okay? So when Denise what no, no, not Denise.

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Speaker 1: When Vanessa or Dad bricky, and when she first brought

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Speaker 1: dad No home, she didn't tell them that he was

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Speaker 1: nine thousand years old and she brought the situation was

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Speaker 1: so jankie. The way she did what she did, and

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Speaker 1: that that the father was like, right. The father was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: do you like a good steak? He talking to Dadness.

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Speaker 1: He's like yeah, he said, let me say, I just

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Speaker 1: I just made you a perfect steak, little potatoes, little

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Speaker 1: onions on it. It's beautiful. He's like, you ready to

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Speaker 1: eat it? He's I'm sure ready to eat it. He

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Speaker 1: was like, so I go and I take a trash

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Speaker 1: can lead and I put that beautiful steak on that

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Speaker 1: trash can lead. Now do you want to eat it?

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Speaker 1: He said, no, sir, I don't. He said. Now that's

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Speaker 1: how she brought you in here on the trash can leave.

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Speaker 1: Oh lest see, yes, come on, it doesn't matter if

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Speaker 1: it's good. If you're bringing in here on a trash

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Speaker 1: can lead. Hollella presentation, baby want I don't want it.

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Speaker 1: I don't need it. I don't need it. So you

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Speaker 1: guys know that there are a lot of young people,

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Speaker 1: a lot of kids that that did not getting a

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Speaker 1: chance to see the Cosby Show. You know they're or

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Speaker 1: they're not watching the Huxtable Family. No, girl, No, I

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Speaker 1: think that's even another generation because you've got you know,

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Speaker 1: young young ones. Like let's say, like my kid, you

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Speaker 1: know who's eleving and he watches the Cosby showing my

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Speaker 1: nine year old he watches it too. That's my nephew.

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Speaker 1: For all of you who are in my biz wiz,

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Speaker 1: they both watch it. But because we introduced it to him,

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Speaker 1: you know, just like our parents introduced us to oh Man,

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Speaker 1: oh Man, Gomer Pile. That was my grandmother's show. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my grandmother liked that Gomer. It's a sweetheart. He just

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Speaker 1: he don't mean any harm. She just say what other

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Speaker 1: old shows? Let me think, was I introduced to, oh

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Speaker 1: the Lawrence Welk Show. That may be a Philadelphia thing,

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Speaker 1: but my grandmother and I would watch it often. It

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Speaker 1: was one of those shows where all the music was

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Speaker 1: like la la la, la la, and they had they

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Speaker 1: had pink gowns that would flow in the little wind,

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Speaker 1: and they had an orchestra. Every now and then there'd

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Speaker 1: be bubbles, you know that that kind of thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I I didn't really watch TV

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Speaker 1: too much with my grandmother. I want to say she

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Speaker 1: probably did watch old people's stuff, like you know, murder

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Speaker 1: she wrote or something like that. But but my mother

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Speaker 1: was really deeply into the beginning of those hour long dramas.

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Speaker 1: So she watched st Elsewhere, and she watched thirty something

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Speaker 1: and all of those shows that the beginning of. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well she wasn't into those. That's so weird, Like she

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Speaker 1: just did not watch any of that. Dallas or my

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Speaker 1: mom didn't watch any of that, So I missed that.

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Speaker 1: My sister was a little more into it. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know, tryd a weird upbringing. We we can't forget

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Speaker 1: about the soap operas because that was something that was like,

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Speaker 1: these are the days of our lives. I mean, that

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Speaker 1: was serious. My sister used to tape all my children.

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Speaker 1: She would like, record my children, will come on? Can

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Speaker 1: I tell y'all to this day? As like a radio girl.

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Speaker 1: One of my favorite opportunities was to interview the man

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Speaker 1: that plays Victor Newman and the woman that plays Catherine

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Speaker 1: from Young and the Restless. When I tell you he

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Speaker 1: and he speaks just like, how is your mother? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god? Victor newman in my life, sir. I've been

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Speaker 1: with you all my life, Sir, leather Jacket. I know

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Speaker 1: you're mad, sir. I just I feel that this whole

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Speaker 1: conversation is indicative of exactly what we came here to

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Speaker 1: talk about, which is the fact that we are oldest friend.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I noticed that I don't want to be

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Speaker 1: the bearer of bad news. Apparently, if you were born

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Speaker 1: after nineteen eighty, you have no idea what the hell

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Speaker 1: we're talking about. Yeah, they got TV Land. Well now

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Speaker 1: they don't put them all them shows on tv Land.

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Speaker 1: Now you're stuned older. They don't even come on no

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Speaker 1: more Nicko Knight. It doesn't nickod Knight. Where is that

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Speaker 1: coming over? Wo wow? Okay, because this is the kid

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Speaker 1: that I gave birth to. Love to remind me, he

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Speaker 1: pats me on my back slowly and goes, oh, so

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Speaker 1: old you You asked you old? Asked? Oh? He gives

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Speaker 1: me all the time. I'm like, well what, because I'm

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Speaker 1: the one that's like, well, wait a minute, I'm supposed

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Speaker 1: to log into the where to come? Well, why don't

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Speaker 1: they just say that that's normally what I end up saying.

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Speaker 1: Why don't that just say that it's like, well you

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Speaker 1: calling up hold up the um, come and fix the

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Speaker 1: uh fix the internet? So not not working? Kids, They're

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Speaker 1: being like, my mom thinks I'm a genius and I

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Speaker 1: just basically switched the HB in my court. My mom

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Speaker 1: is telling her friends I fixed TVs. I called Jack mcgoffer.

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Speaker 1: That's all too. Can I defend us for a second,

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Speaker 1: because I have to always remind people of the era

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Speaker 1: that we have grown up in. We grew up in

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Speaker 1: an era where in high school the internet came into fruition. Okay,

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Speaker 1: right in high school there was a deeper and then

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, we fastened forward to cell phones.

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Speaker 1: Like the level of swiftness. That's it's like no other generation.

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Speaker 1: I talked, me and my dad talked about this all

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Speaker 1: the time because he's like, oh, I no, you know

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Speaker 1: about all this. I'm like, Daddy, I have to strive

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Speaker 1: to keep up too. It's always something new, and it's

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Speaker 1: always I don't updates. I don't like when they change

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Speaker 1: my phone. How dare you? How dare you? And now

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Speaker 1: you're going to switch it up? The stuff that I

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Speaker 1: had is gone? Where is it? The cloud? The cloud?

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Speaker 1: We're not talking about the cloud. Let's not talk. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to talk to you. Young people don't even know.

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Speaker 1: Young people don't even understand the clouds. So I mean

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Speaker 1: young person about that, they'd be like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it is and I don't know how to get

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Speaker 1: nothing out of it, So there you go. I remember

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Speaker 1: when I was young, I thought that that we invented everything,

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Speaker 1: like our generation, like we invented everything. These old people

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Speaker 1: don't know anything about anything we've we we created it all.

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Speaker 1: They weren't even screwing until we started screwing, Like, how

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Speaker 1: is that even possible? How is it? I know that

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Speaker 1: I used to think that we were super like enlightened.

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Speaker 1: I definitely used to think of my parents as being

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Speaker 1: like that. They're old school, was, you know, just unaware,

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Speaker 1: even though I felt we were tapping into, particularly around

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Speaker 1: like their pro blackness. I felt like we were tapping

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Speaker 1: into that, but I felt like a hip hop like

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Speaker 1: we had took it to the next level, like we

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Speaker 1: took we took pro black to the world, like so

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Speaker 1: dumb and not even understanding at all what was the

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Speaker 1: black panther party? Right? I was like, I couldn't even

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Speaker 1: think that Asian, my parents were taking me to Marchian,

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Speaker 1: so I could never have even been as well. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying I didn't understand kind of global implications

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Speaker 1: of it all. Of course, I knew that the Black

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Speaker 1: Panthers existed, like I'm talking about, Like we grew up

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Speaker 1: seeing hip hop then being celebrated all over the world

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Speaker 1: public enemy being like in Germany, in Germany, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like, so for me, I'm thinking, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: we took this thing on the world tour, and they

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Speaker 1: grew up seeing jazz explode all over the place and

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Speaker 1: the blues become a part of most people's vernacular in

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Speaker 1: some way, shape or form. You know, they grew up

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Speaker 1: and well the music grew up with them. Every generation

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Speaker 1: there's something different, like then these are Okay, I was

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Speaker 1: about to say it, these young young people as you're

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Speaker 1: listening to this, young people, know that we are your aunties.

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Speaker 1: I am, I am, I'm playing sister. I'm a sister,

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Speaker 1: big sister. Okay, Lie is your big sister, agent as

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Speaker 1: well can be your big sister. I'm a whole I've

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Speaker 1: been I've been an auntie since I was twenty two,

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Speaker 1: So I just grew into my auntie status. It's fine

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Speaker 1: with me. I've been waiting for this. Only thing is

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Speaker 1: that I know that it gets a little deep when

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Speaker 1: I'm out in a hole grown up. It's like, hey, Hunty,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, miss, how many years? How many years

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Speaker 1: have you had your license? Because if that license is

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Speaker 1: more than a decade old, I'm not your auntie. Wait.

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Speaker 1: I told you all the lesson that I had to

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Speaker 1: learn off of Mary J. Blige right now has lap

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Speaker 1: me in my face. Oh, I say, like ten, maybe

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Speaker 1: thirteen years ago, back when I was a little younger,

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Speaker 1: and I was on the morning show with Mony Love,

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Speaker 1: and we're talking to Mary J. Blige on the phone

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Speaker 1: and I called her miss Mary m I I I,

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Speaker 1: I called her Mismary and and it wasn't and and

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Speaker 1: and you know she and of course she responded accordingly

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Speaker 1: and said I thought this interview was with Mony Love. Um.

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Speaker 1: But uh, circle back to now. I mean we we

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Speaker 1: we we've made up since then, we had a whole thing.

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Speaker 1: I say, I'm sorry. I said, she came to the

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Speaker 1: station a year later. Whatever we made up talk to

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Speaker 1: that was good. But the full circle of it all

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Speaker 1: is is that now someone can do that to me, yeah,

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Speaker 1: young people, because I don't know what else. Hey, listen,

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Speaker 1: a little ship. You're a little technically you little who

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Speaker 1: was technically young to us? Can we discuss that? What's

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Speaker 1: the cap? Okay, I'm gonna go with twenty three and

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Speaker 1: under twenty four and under it's young, Okay, I like that,

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Speaker 1: that's fairy. I might happy you with two years. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go twenty one and just you know, just yeah,

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Speaker 1: but even twenty two is still mad young. And twenty

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Speaker 1: three years to twenty four and now you're talking because

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Speaker 1: next year you're gonna be twenty five, you know, So

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say twenty four is like official, you're still

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Speaker 1: you're still a young buck. I feel like you're basing

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Speaker 1: that on one is acceptable to look at a young fellow.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. In my mind, I was going, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that's diggy. I can yeah. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I have a twenty one year old son. I'm sorry, terrible.

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Speaker 1: On five, I'm sorry, from the from the router to

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Speaker 1: the tutor. Do you understand me? From the router to

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Speaker 1: the tutor. Don't show up at my house on the

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Speaker 1: trash cantly assist because I want you to know something

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Speaker 1: you still mean? Okay. My girlfriend says she came home

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Speaker 1: one day and a whole year old was sitting in

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Speaker 1: her living room. Her son was about sixteen and seventeen

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Speaker 1: years old. She said, what do you want with him?

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Speaker 1: She's like, Oh, we're just friends and we're spending time together.

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Speaker 1: She was like, listen, I don't want you to get

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Speaker 1: anything confused. If by chance you are to have sex

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Speaker 1: with my son and and you are to get pregnant,

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Speaker 1: I need you to know he has nothing. He has

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Speaker 1: absolutely nothing. Everything you see around you with mine, and

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't share it with your old ass, not one second.

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Speaker 1: I would not do it. Be clear, I will not

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Speaker 1: be comfortable with you coming around. I will not be

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Speaker 1: comfortable with any part of it. And I just might

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Speaker 1: file for a junction to keep your ass away from

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Speaker 1: my kid. Well, at sixteen, she's all the way illegal

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Speaker 1: for what she's doing. What So number one. All that

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Speaker 1: whole speech was lovely. I enjoy did but I need

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Speaker 1: you to understand. Do y'all remember how when you was

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Speaker 1: in junior high school and the girls would just start

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Speaker 1: wind mill in their arms. Yeah, and they would just

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Speaker 1: start fighting, And I'm stopping there wouldn't be time for

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Speaker 1: no um for no speech. No. And y'all know I

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Speaker 1: love a speech. You know that I love it, Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: but what I will not do is speech. You you're

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Speaker 1: coming here to my under age. You're getting wind milt.

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Speaker 1: The mistake is that you don't bring them home, because

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Speaker 1: don't bring them home. However, I will say this, don't listen.

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Speaker 1: As we get older, we are hypocrites because when your

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Speaker 1: girlfriend want to mess, what you'd be like? Girl? Yes, girl, girl,

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Speaker 1: come girl, get that to it. You all what no,

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Speaker 1: old man. And when you was a teenager and you

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Speaker 1: was dating that dude that might have been in this

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Speaker 1: winning he was dead wrong. However, alright that data, twenty

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Speaker 1: year old you did. No, I don't think I did.

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Speaker 1: If my mother had windmill them, he would have. That's

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Speaker 1: all I'm saying. I can't remember, I'm thinking, but I'm

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Speaker 1: old now, so my memory is slipping. I'm still blaming

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Speaker 1: on the weed. I can't blame it on age yet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's fair enough too. But you know you've been

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Speaker 1: smoking weed for a long time, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: So that that definitely adds to the to the memory loss.

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Speaker 1: It's been a long it's been there, it is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my grandmother's my hero. Would y'all date somebody significantly younger

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Speaker 1: than you as a cat? As a cat says a cat,

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Speaker 1: like you know, rubbish the cat the man. But but

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Speaker 1: you know, one second thought, I'm sorry, Yo, you're right.

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Speaker 1: I was answering with the wrong. You're right. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: you right, the cat, You're right. I'm sorry. I wouldn't

256
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Speaker 1: do date nobody younger. You're right. I'm sorry, you're right.

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Speaker 1: I think y'all talk to ship because I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: I know people who have dainty younger men and they

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Speaker 1: were not a headache to talk to. It depends on

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Speaker 1: the person. I mean, I got my boyfriend by five years,

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Speaker 1: but you know he's still a grown as man. Yeah

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Speaker 1: five years. But like you ain't going you ain't going

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Speaker 1: into like the early thirst. No, no, ma'am, What am

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Speaker 1: I gonna do? I mean, I mean not configure out

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Speaker 1: what to do. I'm just saying that I don't. I'm

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Speaker 1: beyond that at this point, Like you know, I'm beyond it.

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Speaker 1: I might entertain it for a second, but I don't think.

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Speaker 1: I don't. Plus, when you think use I'm a younger man,

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Speaker 1: you really just think it's kind of usually from a

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Speaker 1: physical perspective of you can get you a nice man

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Speaker 1: of age. They got the stammina of us something and

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Speaker 1: is other thirdiest, baby you winning, And that's what I'm

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Speaker 1: doing over here, Holle, that's my plan. Amen. Applause of blood. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So think about I have a matching old person at

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Speaker 1: my house. Well that's what's up you guys. You guys

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Speaker 1: are not is old. The team is old. He was

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Speaker 1: also born old as I worked. Believe, both born elderly people.

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Speaker 1: And this is really what has attracted us to each

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Speaker 1: other over a period of years is that even when

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Speaker 1: we were in our early twenties. My daughter calls it,

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Speaker 1: he's the pop pop and I have the Nana energy.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's that kind of thing. I think we

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Speaker 1: both had that as young people. So it's just kind

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Speaker 1: of metched together over the years. It works out. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I Mean, like I said, I've really been waiting for

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Speaker 1: this time my whole life. Now, what I didn't know

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Speaker 1: was that there was going to be miraculous gray hairs

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Speaker 1: appearing spontaneously just just you know, just because I I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I didn't get enough sleep or wake up

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Speaker 1: with a new gray hair, Like, what are you doing? Honey?

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Speaker 1: I don't know? Womnute? I want of minded my business?

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Speaker 1: The next I white headed. I'm for real something. What's happening?

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Speaker 1: Is this what's happening? Yeah? But can't we have a

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Speaker 1: real honest conversation because we can't offer some knowledge in

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Speaker 1: this area. Because let me tell you something. That first

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Speaker 1: time that you see that first grade down in that

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Speaker 1: bottom area section, it's a moment. It's a moment, let

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Speaker 1: me tell you, because you don't know. I was taking

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Speaker 1: in front of my husband who was getting gray and

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Speaker 1: his beard, and I was like, well, you know, I

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Speaker 1: mean you got with a little young one. You know.

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Speaker 1: So I'm all in his face about it. He was

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Speaker 1: just like, um ma'am you have gray hair. I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I do not. He was. He said, you just can't

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Speaker 1: see it, says, I don't know you like that nigga?

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Speaker 1: Like girl had to go get a mirror out. I

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00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 1: was like, show it. It was terrible. I did some

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00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 1: things with my cell phone. Let's just say. I had

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00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 1: to go and delete it all. He was like, here's

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00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 1: the receipts is lay down on your back. Let me

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Speaker 1: show you because if you don't know, you don't know.

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Speaker 1: Even if you are getting waxed on a regular basis,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that they're not there. It just means

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Speaker 1: that you're pulling them out by the root. That's a torture.

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Speaker 1: But the s they are the stronger ones to pull.

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Speaker 1: You should know that, wow, are the stronger of the hairs.

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Speaker 1: They are always do you know? You notice them? They're prominent,

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Speaker 1: distinct texture and maybe a different texture. But the one

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Speaker 1: that's on my hairline, I'm like trying to push that

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00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 1: joker down. I'm like, why do you popping back up?

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Speaker 1: Because it wants to be seen. I have a great eyelash.

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Speaker 1: That's the worst too. My boyfriend got one of them.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that it was even a thing, like

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00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 1: it was even possible, But I have just one. Family

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00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:03,400
Speaker 1: doesn't curl with the stuff. Yeah, it's just sitting there though.

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Speaker 1: If you don't, if you don't see it, you don't

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Speaker 1: see it. But then when you see it, you can'tnot

328
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Speaker 1: see it because it's a gray eyelash. I got another one, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it just this just happened to me last week.

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Speaker 1: For the first time I have received my first black person. Um.

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Speaker 1: Wiggily mole. Um, it's a wiggly mole. Yeah, we're just

332
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 1: just preparing y'all that black people. We gotta do the research.

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Speaker 1: What is it about these moves? You know they often

334
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 1: say this thing, Black don't crack. But I'm gonna tell

335
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 1: you one thing, and with all the love in my heart,

336
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 1: black does not crack. But this show does crease. We'll

337
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 1: be back after the break Black creases. But see, this

338
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,879
Speaker 1: is the thing you gotta stop doing. All. You can't

339
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: do black ship forever if you want your black not

340
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,639
Speaker 1: to pray like, Okay, yes you can eat certain foods,

341
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 1: but up to a certain point, Like you can't just

342
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 1: be eating all our cultural stuff for forever. And honestly,

343
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: and this is no judgment because obviously I know many

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00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: of us may do it, but you know, drinking, smoking,

345
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 1: all that stuff, you do it for a long period

346
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:23,639
Speaker 1: of time, It catches up to It catches up to you.

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Speaker 1: It does. People don't believe in young people, particularly I

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Speaker 1: remember myself. I didn't believe it. I didn't believe any

349
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Speaker 1: of it. I was like, I think I'm pretty flawless,

350
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Speaker 1: and I think I'm always going to be this way.

351
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: And it wasn't so much about being egotistical. I just

352
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 1: felt like, this is the way. Oh I've grown into

353
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,159
Speaker 1: what my body is going to be, and now this

354
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: is what it is. And with that whole black dunk

355
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: crack business, like you need to know young women with love,

356
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,640
Speaker 1: you need to know that you have to take care

357
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 1: of this one body that you get. It gets harder

358
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 1: as you get older. It's easier for them, though it's

359
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: easy for them now. I mean like even still with

360
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 1: it's interested like you now you even see the T

361
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 1: shirts with the process of what you're supposed to do

362
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,679
Speaker 1: at night with your face cleanser, tuner, seer, rum primer.

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00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 1: Then I'm must the rights are in the you know,

364
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 1: it's just and mass three times a week. Yeah, and

365
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 1: don't forget that there really is genetics, you know. I

366
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:34,359
Speaker 1: look at my mother's face every day. I said, old Joyce,

367
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Speaker 1: you didn't come and set here on on my face.

368
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Speaker 1: Excuse the language, but that's what it feels like that

369
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: my mother has just applied herself to my face. And

370
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Speaker 1: I never like that about my dad. I look at

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Speaker 1: my father like that, dang man, why do you do that?

372
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 1: Why would you just park your ass all up in

373
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 1: me like it's fine, it's fine. Bottom line is us

374
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: take good care of yourself. You ain gotta obsess over it,

375
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 1: but do what you're supposed to do, like don't be

376
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 1: out here while and then complain that. I will say this,

377
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,719
Speaker 1: though you said all this toner and the blood lad

378
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: lad people are gonna regret using all this product. Old

379
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 1: people did have some things, right, I'm sorry Monana. Every night,

380
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 1: put a little bit of vasoline on that face, you

381
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: feel me. On her feet, put some socks on them,

382
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,360
Speaker 1: jokers feet was beautiful. Skin was beautiful. The day she passed,

383
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 1: skin looked like a baby. But what you're gonna do?

384
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 1: My grandmother used dove soap and I remember hating the

385
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: smell of it. Like even now, well it's not the

386
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: same anymore because now they have like cucumber dove and

387
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 1: you know, cocoa butter dove. But back in the day,

388
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 1: like I just thought equates old because I was like,

389
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: I don't want to use the old people the people soap. Yeah,

390
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: that's crazy, because I always thought Irish spring was for

391
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: old men. I was like, I was spring, that's like

392
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 1: old man, right, I thought that the white people. Yeah,

393
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 1: Irish spring was for white people. What about ivory? Remember

394
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:16,199
Speaker 1: the ivory ivory on the babies. I remember as like that.

395
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 1: So when you was little, like country where they will

396
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: wash clothes with it, mm hmm, Like I always looked

397
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 1: at ivory as that. The thing with Irish spring that

398
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: the one time that I saw it, it had dried

399
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: and cracked, and I thought, why would you want to

400
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: wash your body? Was a thing that will dry and

401
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: crack like that. As a little kid, I saw that

402
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 1: there was a fundamental problem with Irish spring. But one

403
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 1: thing that sometimes our conversations are going to be really deep,

404
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 1: there is something really wrong. I agree with you. I

405
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: agree with you. I wish with all the big boo

406
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: bite in my household like like you really are, like

407
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 1: like does beautifully like you're supposed to wear like a

408
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: night bra. Young women, let's talk about it right now, Jill.

409
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: Let's talk about as you get older. This is this life.

410
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 1: It's gravity, ship will happen and titties are heavy and

411
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: whatever miss Aga is about to say, y'all, y'all ignore

412
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: what she's saying, because what I'm trying to say is

413
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: you want them titties to sit up? You better listen

414
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 1: to miss Jill because I know the age about to

415
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: come in and bite all this. Yeah, I am, because

416
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: I personally think if he can't suck your titty while

417
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 1: it's under your armpit, he's not for you. Okay, we'll listen.

418
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: I am. That's fine. But I like to look good

419
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 1: in these clothes. And don't you want to look feel

420
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 1: good about yourself naked, like you know, like, oh, think

421
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 1: they're right here? Oh I feel wonderful about myself naked?

422
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 1: Do I look fantastic? It wasn't. I didn't mean to you.

423
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: I just meant I feel better when they're up and

424
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: then when they're down. I would like to feel better.

425
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: Though I came front that I would love to feel better,

426
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: so I'm in the process of doing that. Ug again.

427
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: This is the thing with health and physical wellness. As

428
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: you get older. You don't just arrive somewhere, you know,

429
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: you don't get off the bus and there you are.

430
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: I worked really hard for about two years where I

431
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 1: just ate right, and I exercised every day, and I

432
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 1: rolled my twelve miles and it paid off. It absolutely

433
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 1: paid off. But I got tired of that ship. I

434
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: got tired of that ship and I was hungry. I

435
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: was hungry, But there's a middle in their jail. It

436
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 1: didn't have to be so black. This time, I'm hoping

437
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: to find the middle because the extreme made me unhappy,

438
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 1: because the middle is a lifestyle versus the extreme, which

439
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:05,199
Speaker 1: was just a diet. Yes, what's the lifestyle. I've lost

440
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: a lot of weight a couple different times, you know,

441
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,919
Speaker 1: in between the children, YadA YadA, And I've seen pictures

442
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: of myself like, oh that was that was a season.

443
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 1: That was a little skinny season I did. And I

444
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 1: admit I've done nothing. I've done nothing I have the

445
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: last couple of years, I have decided to just, I

446
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: don't know, just do whatever I want. You was on

447
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: some African dance for a minute. I mean I dance.

448
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not I'm not a bump on a

449
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: log dance, but I don't dance. Sport to lose weight

450
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 1: to stay healthful. And that's the lifestyle portion of it,

451
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: where you find stuff that you really like to do

452
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: because you really like to do it. I actually really

453
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 1: like to play football, but wow, Jill, that's dope. I

454
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 1: really enjoy it, but I just don't have too many

455
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: people to play with. I would love to play pot

456
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 1: with you. Oh my god. I don't play any school.

457
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 1: I'd rather play him that watch them all day. I

458
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 1: play softball, I play basketball like, let's go, let me

459
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: know when we need to start the team. That's my

460
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: like for my lifestyle and not for nothing. I will

461
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: think that California does aid in this. But but a

462
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: bit like to take a hike. I love a bicycle ride.

463
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I won't lie to you, guys. I love

464
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 1: the fact that as a black woman, there's so many

465
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: different kinds of like healthy lifestyle choices in terms of

466
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: exercise and food that cater to us as a community.

467
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,200
Speaker 1: And I think that's great because you know, and I'm

468
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: down for it because I want us to live a

469
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 1: long time, and we got a lot of things up

470
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: against us. So I want us to live alone time

471
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: and live healthy for a long time, you know what

472
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: I mean. So I want to make sure that's clear.

473
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: I don't want anybody the way he just said, she

474
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: don't do nothing. You don't know. I'm working my way

475
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: through it. I was trying to heal my mind in

476
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: my heart for a little while. So she put my

477
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 1: my body on the back burning. But the body is

478
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: an important part of that equation. So I just want

479
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 1: to make sure put my little disclaimer out there. We

480
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 1: always have to throw that in there, that that the

481
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: body is is super important. For instance, you are pretty

482
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: much guaranteed to get some kind of arthritis if you're

483
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: a vertebrae, if you're a vertebrate, if you're dealing, if

484
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 1: you're standing with the spine or walking with a spine.

485
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 1: A cat's dogs bears like, is a thing I can't

486
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: You absolutely must fight it. You fight it with tumeric.

487
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: I'm taking down inflammation. You you fight it with vitamin

488
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: E oil and flax seed oils to keep things moving.

489
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: Like you you don't think about this. I used to

490
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 1: see my my elder woman down the block. I used

491
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: to see her and she looks so good to me.

492
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 1: She was taking kelp and I was like, I will

493
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: take kelp too, until I got in there smelled damn kelp,

494
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't think that you're doing

495
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: a right thing. I think insane because that stinks. I

496
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: remember going to the health food store my mother and

497
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: not understanding how you could spend a couple hundred dollars

498
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 1: on a small bag of herbs and vitamins and and

499
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 1: like fast forward now and my refrigerator. Girl, I never

500
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 1: bought me some chlorophyll for these brois. I didn't got

501
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 1: me some black sea oil. I didn't got me some milk,

502
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: the soul and all the other stuff, Jill that you

503
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: name attack. I got a flax erchia mixed together for

504
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 1: my smoothies. Like come on, now, ain't I got flax,

505
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 1: I got all that stuff. I got all that stuff.

506
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: I got all that stuff. And I think, really it's

507
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: become a more of a common thing. It's become more

508
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 1: of a common thing. But again it goes back to

509
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: those old school ways. We're returning back to old school

510
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: ways and not being so caught up in you know,

511
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: what is doing and all this kind of stuff. And

512
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: so really, as the new elders, I don't know who's

513
00:30:54,960 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: talking to she's coming or the rising elders want to

514
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 1: have to implement these things so that the younger folks

515
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 1: will know what to do, say hey listen, but they'd

516
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: be knowing honestly, for real, we need to just be

517
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: focused on our own selves because these young folks they

518
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: be knowing well and you know, vegetarians and serious about it.

519
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 1: They go into therapy. Hello, and I'm glad for all

520
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,479
Speaker 1: of that. I'm interested in seeing what's gonna happen to

521
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: all the bodies though. I am interested with you know,

522
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: so much plastic surgery, like what's gonna happen later and

523
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 1: the waste training. I want to see how the waste

524
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: training turn out. What are you what are you thinking

525
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: about waste training? I don't know. I've seen some wastes

526
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: that don't that don't look the ongoings like. It's interesting.

527
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: I have seen a few wastes in proportion to the

528
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 1: rest of their bodies that I'm like, oh that, I

529
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 1: wonder if that if you were born like that, because

530
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: some black women, some women period, but some Black women

531
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: are born that way. But the mouth that I've seen

532
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: here lately, it seems like it's a lot and it's

533
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: no judgment. I just feel like, if you want to

534
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 1: be snatched, you want to be snatched. I'm just curing

535
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: gonna be like, I just curious what it's gonna be

536
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: like for the body and the long term. And there

537
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: is such thing as extreme snatching, to be honest with you,

538
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: because some you know, some of us might pop it

539
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: on every few months or whatever. But there are some

540
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: who every day of their lives they have a way

541
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: straighter on, like that's the thing, and you are yeah, Oh,

542
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: my girlfriend just told me she's lovet with it the

543
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: other night because she had to do coming back. But

544
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 1: that's a constant swishing up your organs. And you're right, Asia,

545
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: I do wonder what happens. It's a lot. Can I

546
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: ask your questions? Have y'all learned anything? I would say, like, obviously,

547
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 1: we we think we can teach. But have you learned

548
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: anything for many of your young bulls? Young bull or

549
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: young bull? Or does that male or female? Yeah, you're

550
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 1: you're young and young, you're young John, whoever? Have you

551
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 1: learned anything really good from somebody significantly younger than you? Yeah?

552
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: Shut up? Like yeah, what she said? I was just

553
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 1: I was laughing because I got stuck for a minute,

554
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: like I hope I have. I'm just trying to remember.

555
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: I thought you was gonna say something sexual. Always really, Jill,

556
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: I mean that's why you're my friend. Okay, yes, good answer.

557
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: I mean you must to own your flowers. So what

558
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: was you saying? Anyway, Jim, shake your head, that's rights right.

559
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 1: Let's say I am in the process of building a

560
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: studio at home. And I've got a couple of young

561
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 1: friends that are like, Okay, this is what you do,

562
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 1: this is what you do, and this is what you do.

563
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: I watched the YouTube thing. I'm trying to do it myself.

564
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: But I was like, I need, I need to make

565
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 1: these phone calls and yeah, that's been helpful. It's funny.

566
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: You're right. That's only know the young people in my

567
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 1: life in a way, like when it comes to text

568
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: stuff or even like the look of things. I have

569
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: a challece in my young girl Dorry and Charlie. When

570
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 1: Charlie Max daughter, she I toold things at her because

571
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 1: she's young and she's in marketing, and I'm like, is

572
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 1: this fly still just well have you learned? Oh? I know,

573
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 1: ages got a list because you got a household dance

574
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: from dances too. I learned a lot of stuff, you

575
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: know what I learned about to get deep tapped out

576
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: at the jerk, I was like, I'm exhausted. Just Dirk, Dirk.

577
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 1: That's that's when I checked out that. Yes, that's when

578
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: I was like, that is silly. Did you just say no?

579
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: She didn't say that I was old. My son who

580
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: was a grown man. He was probably about eleven or twelve.

581
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:54,720
Speaker 1: With that, No, I have too many boobs for this dance. Well,

582
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: I learned. I get to learn dances and stuff like that.

583
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: But more significant thing that I've learned, I would say

584
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: it's from my little twenty somethings. I just be thinking

585
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: that they know how to choose themselves, and that's aspiring

586
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: to me. I'm like, you know, what's us? Yeah? Yeah,

587
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: Like they know how to choose themselves, and I have learned.

588
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 1: That's been something that I've implemented into my life life.

589
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, oh, that's a privilege of youth though,

590
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: choosing yourself, that's a life lesson that it was a

591
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 1: life lesson. But don't you think it gets harder as

592
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: you get older, only because you are old ass dogs

593
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: that don't want to do nothing new, and because you

594
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: have a lot of responsibilities to more than you're right,

595
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 1: You're right, you're right, right, Like the older you get,

596
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: the more can you realize that you're going to have

597
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: to take care of your parents. I can't deal with

598
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 1: this and we're about to do this because I don't.

599
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 1: Oh go god, oh god, I can do that. You

600
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: are now the adults in this situation. Yeah, and that

601
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 1: you know. For me, my mom is funny and a

602
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 1: trip and sometimes I'm like, how can I chastise her?

603
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 1: How can I teach her? And I'm like, but but

604
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 1: the reality is, I'm not going to I'm gonna have

605
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: to eat this one and the next one and the

606
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: next one after that and the next one after that

607
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: and have a little attitude and like, oh mom, and

608
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: now I'm the child moaning and whining to my mother

609
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: to please be considerate of my ass yes, and and

610
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: completely that they want. I'm trying. I'm trying. You're gonna

611
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 1: get in trouble, so mine, Well, I will say this

612
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: before I think you're bad joints. I think you're bad.

613
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: You're bad choice Sally, spank you if I could. Before

614
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: my my pass, Like I said, she was on her

615
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 1: way to move here to Philly, but I was really

616
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: kind of hype about it because she was living in

617
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 1: Atlanta for a long time with my sister. But me

618
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 1: and my sister would have played arguments where I could

619
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 1: hear them talking in the background and I'd be like,

620
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: who are you talking to? Don't be talking to my

621
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 1: mother like that. She was like girl, you get on

622
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 1: this phone and tell your mama. Look, she don't have

623
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,320
Speaker 1: to learn how to do My sister's biggest argument with

624
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 1: my mother used to be your mother calls me at work,

625
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: oh so child to do stuff that she can do

626
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: so and I was like, well, okay, all right, don't

627
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: be talking to my mama like that. I don't do

628
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: anything for that lady. You know, yeah, we all would.

629
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: You know, y'all would and have done anything for our

630
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:51,280
Speaker 1: mother's But they they even have like an adolescent stage

631
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 1: where they're being rebellious because because they want to, because

632
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 1: because they can. I'm gonna do what I want saying.

633
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: And my father will tell you that my parents are

634
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 1: eleven years age difference. I'm dealing with seventy and eighty one.

635
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: And my father is at the point where he was like, dang,

636
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: I will say some random ship, I will use a

637
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,840
Speaker 1: word that it's not supposed to be used. But you

638
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:12,879
Speaker 1: know what, at this point in my life, because I can,

639
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: and so it is my job as the elder now

640
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,919
Speaker 1: literally in the relationship, to be like, take this lightly letter.

641
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 1: I know he know, he's all over the place and

642
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,399
Speaker 1: he's not talking about what we're talking about. Right now.

643
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,439
Speaker 1: But I'm just don't say nothing, don't correct them, trying

644
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: not to correct please don't, I gotta. I think it's

645
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 1: super important that we show respect to our parents and

646
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 1: to our elders. I think that it is it's super

647
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: important to be respectful to your elders because it's going

648
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 1: to be your turn at some point, darling. But I

649
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,879
Speaker 1: also it's also a balance of keeping them on point.

650
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 1: I say to my dad all the time because he'll

651
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I'm in trouble or what did I say,

652
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, And I'm like, Daddy, I'm just making

653
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: sure that you understand what we're talking about, even though

654
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: you're making a joke. And I want to make sure

655
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: that we are giving your mind all that society that

656
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: we can give it. That's all that too. It's it's

657
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 1: a balance of it all, you know. I mean. Yeah,

658
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: also to now, and we talked about this before. Now

659
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 1: that I'm this age, I see the value so much

660
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,879
Speaker 1: in the things that they have to say. I want

661
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 1: to know about your childhood. I want to know about

662
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:18,839
Speaker 1: what did you do and what what was it like?

663
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: Or what do you know about our family? Like I

664
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: just recently started digging into my family history a little

665
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 1: bit more and things I wish that I had. I mean, now,

666
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 1: I talked to my mom a lot, and I know

667
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,279
Speaker 1: a lot about her personal story, and I think I

668
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: know a lot of stuff about my nana. But past that, no,

669
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking now as I get older, I'm really

670
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: wanting to know my family stories. I'm really wanting to

671
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 1: know these things that I wish my parents were here

672
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 1: to shed light on that more. So, like I would say,

673
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:52,800
Speaker 1: even now as you're starting to get older, they getting older,

674
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,360
Speaker 1: So get them to talk and write down, do whatever

675
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 1: you can, because you don't want to be trying to

676
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 1: look in the nineteen tenths, just trying to get a story,

677
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. That's why I just a

678
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 1: little tit for everybody. I tell my dad to use

679
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: his voice recorder, Like just record things you have thoughts

680
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 1: about family, you wanted, you're thinking about a story, You

681
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,720
Speaker 1: always got stories in your head just eighty one years,

682
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: just take your phone out and record it so I

683
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 1: can have it. Yeah, I'm glad that I got some

684
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 1: of my dad's stories. He is definitely suffering from dementia,

685
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 1: So that's another aspect of it, like I'm thinking, now,

686
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 1: you know my my since my dad has dementia and

687
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 1: high blood pressure. My mother had some level of high

688
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: blood pressure. Knowing about your people really makes you concentrate

689
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: on you know, genko beloba, you know, making trying to

690
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,359
Speaker 1: make sure your mind is still working. And I know

691
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 1: that I have a hard time. But I do call

692
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:58,959
Speaker 1: that marijuana as well, you know, remembering things. Um. Sometimes

693
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: I've taken to eating it more so than anything else.

694
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 1: But which is good at heart wise, I will say

695
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,920
Speaker 1: that's good heart, yes, But it all gets deep, it

696
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: all gets real as you get older. That click clack

697
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 1: in your knee, Yeah, that's that pop. You don't know.

698
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,720
Speaker 1: I could drop it and pop it with the best

699
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: of them. And no, ma'am, now you just hear it

700
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: when you pop. Now you just st I have to

701
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 1: go slow. I have to go slow. When I did

702
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: Blackish last year, I wasn't this year. I don't know

703
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 1: when which episode. Then you do a couple, I forget, No,

704
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 1: I just did one. Yeah. I had a lot of fun,

705
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: but I was learning how to dance from thee for

706
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: Team of Robinson, and I used my leg in a

707
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 1: way I had been practicing this, you know what I mean.

708
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 1: I have been practiced, practicing this, like you know, and

709
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: for at least three days, and I felt like, all right,

710
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: I got it. I got it man. At he said, bitch,

711
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: you ain't got no. And next thing I knew, I

712
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,959
Speaker 1: was on the floor and I was like, oh, man,

713
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,839
Speaker 1: like we're supposed to be recording and at least you know, like,

714
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed. What am I gonna do with this

715
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,479
Speaker 1: knee that just doesn't like me anymore? And I danced

716
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: it with the young people. What we had to scale

717
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,879
Speaker 1: that thing hall all the way down. You you can't

718
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 1: even imagine the kind of rapage that was on my

719
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 1: knee to shoot that damn Yeah. I was like just

720
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:41,479
Speaker 1: like holding it, like oh inside, oh when more take

721
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 1: you say okay, I'd be like listen and I love dancing.

722
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:52,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna go real hard for about five minutes.

723
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 1: Is it a house song? Because the pen on the song,

724
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 1: because if you follow me you can get lost perfectly

725
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 1: didn't get long, nigger. I'm gonna tell you right, you

726
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 1: can get in and wake up and realize that you've

727
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 1: been playing yourself. I had I stood up one time

728
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: we was out of the club. One night we went

729
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 1: to this party and he was dad so hard, I

730
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 1: mean hard, child hard. I was like, I'm still good.

731
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 1: Look at me, look good night, having a good brow on.

732
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:27,280
Speaker 1: I was like, bam, bam, bam, bam bam. Went home smiling,

733
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,479
Speaker 1: had sex. I was like, yes, this was a good

734
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: night baby. Welcome the next morning. Then looked at my man,

735
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: I said, we we was in it last night. Put

736
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 1: them feet on the ground and stood up out there.

737
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 1: Bad ma'am. That body said, ma'am to day today is

738
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: your day. It better be Sunday because whatever you had

739
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: planned for today will not happen. You need a hot

740
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 1: bath when you start putting episens on your water like

741
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: your grandmother. Yes, girl, but it happens to the best

742
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 1: of us. My my dear friend, Scott Parker is a

743
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 1: physical trainer. He is cut to the ninth. Okay, he

744
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 1: has been working out for for many, many years. He's

745
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 1: a ninja. Okay really really, you'll touch somebody to go like,

746
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 1: he got this, he has it. I asked him. I said,

747
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: so you're working out all the time, so it just

748
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 1: stops hurting. He was like, no, I heard every day.

749
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 1: I was like oh, that's not like, that's not that's not.

750
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 1: The ninja is hurt. The ninja is hurt. Apparently, you

751
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 1: know it hurts every day every day. I wanted that's

752
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:05,280
Speaker 1: feel like Terry Crews and Arnold Sports Nigger and people

753
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 1: like that too. I was supposed you know that it

754
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,360
Speaker 1: is what it is. It is what it is, but

755
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 1: it's harder if you're starting later. So all my young girls,

756
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 1: on my young homies, listen, start doing things now, because

757
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 1: I don't care how cool you are, or smart you are,

758
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 1: or pretty you are. Age happens if you're if you're lucky,

759
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 1: if you lucky, age will happen. More conversation after the break.

760
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: I know y'all have this. Can we just do what

761
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: did some of the old things that your people used

762
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: to say. I'd love to start it off, but nothing

763
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 1: hurts a duck, but it's Bill h o oh, man,

764
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: use your head for more than a hat rack. Style

765
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: will kill you. That was my favorite. I still I

766
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: use that for myself, I tell you that. And stidm

767
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: Gonna kill you, ain't gonna put My husband's father did

768
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 1: something one time that I thought was really cool. He

769
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: had written his son a letter and had somebody draw

770
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: a picture on the top of a car, and my

771
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,279
Speaker 1: husband had been doing bad in school, and he wrote

772
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: underneath the car, you're cruising for a bruising Nice. That

773
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:39,720
Speaker 1: was that's work. God, I know so many I've gone

774
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 1: completely blank. Only my father used to say this though.

775
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 1: My dad always had this saying that he would say

776
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 1: if you did something really peculiar, he was like, you

777
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:53,320
Speaker 1: must be from Virginia. We say that about bad drivers.

778
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,879
Speaker 1: You must be from Virginia. You must be from Virginia. Yeah.

779
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: When my grandmother died, all of the grandkids did the

780
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: top ten. She had ten grandkids in more greats or whatever,

781
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: but we did a top ten of her sayings at

782
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 1: the funeral. Nice, you have never seen no white dirt,

783
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 1: have you? That mean everything come from black people. You

784
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 1: know what's wrong with the black man? What he don't

785
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 1: know who he is? Mm hmm, oh, grand come on, Grandma,

786
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 1: Come on mom. I can really only remember seven, so

787
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: I'm man a blank and I know Blue Baby used

788
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: to say a lot of things. George sounds too blue Babe.

789
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: I love that her whole name was blue Babe. That

790
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: was my girl. Y'all got something now too, though, that's

791
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: the funny part. Like, so now you think as y'all

792
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: aunties get older, I know my kids have some stuff

793
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 1: that I say I should text them right now, you know,

794
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: Jet it's always he's like, Mom, you're always threatening to

795
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 1: kill me. But it's become like an in house joke.

796
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,359
Speaker 1: Now like all right, watching this is for our kill

797
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 1: you kill you, because not for nothing. Mr Huxable was right.

798
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 1: I brought you in this world, I take you out. Yeah,

799
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,799
Speaker 1: that's that one. That's that one right there, Mom, are

800
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: you're really gonna kill me? It's like, I don't think

801
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 1: my mother used to say this to me, but I

802
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: know there's an old black saying it's like don't don't

803
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: write a check? Yes, yeah, something like that. M It's

804
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: always something. But here's the gag of it all. Gag it.

805
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 1: We're all going to get older, everybody. If we're blessed

806
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: and we're lucky, this is what it is. So enjoy

807
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 1: your elders, enjoy yourself getting older. But do the work

808
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: so that you don't hurt later. Okay, yoga at the

809
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: least listen so you don't. You might hurt anyway, and

810
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 1: it might hurt, but it's worth the trip. I went

811
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 1: hiking today, I've been sitting here. I can't really feel

812
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: my knees. Or now, wait a minute, Jill, did you

813
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 1: stress before your high, Because that's a tip as we

814
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 1: get older. You can't just go do ship now. You

815
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 1: got to stretch. You gotta stretch, hydrate and stretch. Going

816
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 1: to sleep, God, damn it, stop staying up to the

817
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 1: middle of the night. Go to sleep. Tell me that again,

818
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: because I have not gotten rested in at least three

819
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: four days, and I hurt. I don't like it. Yeah,

820
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,720
Speaker 1: I'm not even taking naps anymore. Like I missed my naps.

821
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 1: I'm not sleeping. Sleep is one of your beauty treatments,

822
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: Like that's you gotta treat Like, oh yeah, I remember.

823
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: People would ask me all the time, like you know,

824
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: people who are not singers would be like, what do

825
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: I do too? I lost my voice? What do I do?

826
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 1: I'd be like, go to sleep and hopetly and I'll

827
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 1: see you in a couple of days and hush out right.

828
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: People do it. Yeah, if you get an opportunity to

829
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 1: be around your elders, try to capture those stories. They

830
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:14,839
Speaker 1: have so many to tell and they will benefit your

831
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,839
Speaker 1: life even if it just makes you laugh or let

832
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 1: you in on a part of yourself. I love the

833
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 1: life you get even increases. Coming up next on the show,

834
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: What's on your Heart an occasional segment where we're check

835
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 1: in with people we respect about how they're really feeling.

836
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: Hollow y'all, I think that's somebody calling. That must mean

837
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: it's time for What's on your Heart? I think we

838
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 1: have someone on the line, as they would say back

839
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 1: in the day, so kind Yes, as I tell you

840
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:58,400
Speaker 1: who's calling? Oh well, jealous, funny you ask? Our next

841
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 1: caller actually happens to be a pioneer of sorts, a legend,

842
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 1: as you may say, a legend initially in radio. You

843
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 1: may know her as the one who created June Black

844
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,760
Speaker 1: Music Month. Yes, she is a leader in that collective

845
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 1: to make that happen for you black people. She is

846
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 1: a music advocate. She is an activist. She is also

847
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 1: just happens to be one of the few media coaches

848
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: in the music industry. What does that mean? That mean? Well,

849
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: I'll let her tell you. Listen. She also just happens

850
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 1: to be the reason that keeps your favorite artists from

851
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: saying dumb ship. There you go. She also happen to

852
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: read the reason that I am in radio and also

853
00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:43,879
Speaker 1: my godmother Dianna Williams, and you also may know her

854
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: as your unsung lady. About that, well, ladies, I first

855
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 1: must say thank you Almighty for affording us this opportunity

856
00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 1: to be to gethers. The first thing, because we are healthy,

857
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,759
Speaker 1: we are smiling, we are full of energy, and that

858
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 1: fuels me so first and foremost, I want to say that.

859
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 1: And secondly, I want to say, l jah, I was

860
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 1: there at the moment your daddy laid his eyes on Kareema.

861
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: All right, your daddy came to d C to visit

862
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: me when he saw ha and you are that result? Yes, yes, yes, yes,

863
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: yes yes. That's how I got to be the godmother.

864
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: That's how I got to be the god mama. I

865
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: love so god mother. Joe wants to know what's on

866
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: your heart? Yeah, which part of the heart? Okay. I

867
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: want to talk about caring. I want to talk about

868
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 1: self care and caring for others because this has been

869
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: at the forefront of my life. My eighty seven year

870
00:52:56,640 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 1: young ebulent mother about four months ago called me. She

871
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 1: lives in Miami, and she said, baby, I can't do

872
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 1: simple things, and she was crying. And my mother is

873
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 1: a person who buried two husbands, three brothers, both her parents,

874
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 1: and her best friend. And I've never seen her cry

875
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 1: or complain or talk about being despondent and none of

876
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 1: that negative stuff ever until about four months ago when

877
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 1: she called me in desperation and layah, like you, I'm

878
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: an only child, as you well know, and that is

879
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: a tremendous responsibility. When you can't call a sister or brother,

880
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 1: even if you're arguing with them and you've had issues,

881
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 1: it's all on you. And I was a caretaker for

882
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:52,399
Speaker 1: my daddy until he made his transition about ten years ago.

883
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,880
Speaker 1: So with that phone call, the next morning, my daughter

884
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 1: was on the first flight out of Philly to Miami

885
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 1: and she went to retrieve. We call her Mama Nancy.

886
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 1: And so I am now a full time caretaker. And

887
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 1: for the first month I did it all by myself,

888
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 1: and I was getting worn down, worn down the medications,

889
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:19,479
Speaker 1: the doctor's visits, the concern and what has happened during

890
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 1: this period of time where my mother and I have

891
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 1: developed a rhythm, because I was very quick to say

892
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,800
Speaker 1: I need help. I can't do this all by myself.

893
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 1: I was running a business, you know, dealing with my

894
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 1: personal life, and I'm a mother and I'm a nana.

895
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 1: But you, ladies, and and those in our listening audience

896
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 1: know those who are parents or guardians, caretakers of any sort.

897
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:46,479
Speaker 1: The amount of energy that is required to care for

898
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: a loved one or a person, especially apparent when you're

899
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:55,799
Speaker 1: doing it alone, is phenomenal, and so I share with

900
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 1: you care. And what I've learned during this period of

901
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:02,319
Speaker 1: time is not only that I have to take care

902
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 1: of my mother because it is a pleasure and a joy.

903
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:10,320
Speaker 1: Sometimes it is frustrating and I become impatient. I find

904
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 1: myself walking towards her room sometimes counting. A girlfriend of

905
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: mine was like ten nine eight, you know, Laval said count,

906
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, because it is challenging. And

907
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,360
Speaker 1: so I've learned in this process that I must also

908
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 1: take care of myself because if you don't care of yourself,

909
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 1: you can't take care of your loved one. So I'm

910
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 1: doing self care. I'm in the fourth quarter of life

911
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: and enjoying it. But I have learned so much in

912
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 1: the process of bathing my mother, giving her medicine, beating

913
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 1: her dressing her, admonishing her. When she's telling me that

914
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,919
Speaker 1: she's stupid and she can't do that, said, Mama, you're

915
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 1: the smartest woman I know. My mama, but she complained

916
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,279
Speaker 1: New Year's Eve because we did an early New Year's Eve.

917
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 1: We did a few shots, a girlfriend came over, then

918
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 1: we did some champagne, and when we started nodding off

919
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: and said, okay, we need to go lay down, my

920
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:18,320
Speaker 1: mama said that's the shortest party and started complaining because

921
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,800
Speaker 1: my mama wanted to do more shots and she really

922
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: wanted to get down. Yeah, my mother has lived abroad.

923
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 1: She was a college professor. She was one of the

924
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 1: people who worked on the team for the Hippo laws.

925
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 1: When you go to the doctor and you signed the privacy,

926
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 1: my mama was one of those people. She started out

927
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 1: as a nurse, a little Puerto Rican girl from San Juan,

928
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 1: Puerto Rico, and sun threw and her light is dimming

929
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 1: and mine was too, and I really have a bright light.

930
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 1: She's very bright light. But I caught myself and then

931
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 1: talking to Layah, who helped me tremendously because she saw

932
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,680
Speaker 1: her grand mother transition. Over a period of time, we've

933
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 1: all had loved ones. I'm sure we can all think

934
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 1: about it, and we've had people close to us who

935
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 1: have transitioned. But I'm very focused on living and living

936
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 1: the best possible life for my mama and for myself.

937
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 1: But in that process, I know that I must take

938
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: care of me. So a period of neglect where the

939
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 1: pounds started pouring on and just didn't feel healthy and

940
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 1: I wasn't, but I caught myself because I have loving

941
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 1: people in my inner circle, people who actually cared deeply

942
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,960
Speaker 1: about me, and they pulled my coat tail and I

943
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 1: got so much worthy advice that helped me to get

944
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 1: back on track. Two. To recognize that while my mama's

945
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 1: life is dimming, it's still shining right, And to revel

946
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 1: in the moments that I have with her, because you know,

947
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 1: she can very possibly outlive me. She tells me all

948
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:02,360
Speaker 1: the time, this is gonna live to be a hundred something,

949
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 1: you know, years young. And I remember my really dear

950
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 1: friend Gordon Parks. I went to visit him one night.

951
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 1: He made dinner for me and we were sitting talking

952
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,919
Speaker 1: and he said, you know, Dianna, my parents are dead.

953
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 1: I've lost a couple of children, My close friends some siblings.

954
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 1: I mean, he was just saying, I can't smoke, I

955
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,920
Speaker 1: can't drive my car, I can't play tennis. He was like,

956
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:31,000
Speaker 1: the joys of life were dissipating, and he knew that,

957
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: but he was like, I'm still here and I'm still living.

958
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 1: And so the lesson, in addition to self care, is

959
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 1: that we are born, we live, and we will transition.

960
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 1: That's the formula. That's I don't know anybody who's beat it.

961
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: And instead of being afraid of death, let's prepare for

962
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: it while we are living. And I think that is

963
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: very important. My mama from the time I was a teenager,

964
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 1: every time she would go on a trip, she would say,

965
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 1: my will and this is in this draw and it

966
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: used to drive me crazy because I would have listened.

967
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: And now I'm doing the same thing with my children. Wills,

968
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 1: updating it, power of attorney, power of medical things that

969
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 1: many of us neglect while we're living because we don't

970
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 1: want to think of death. You stay on me about

971
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 1: these things, especially as our only child. Yeah. I set

972
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 1: Layah a book not long ago about organizing her life

973
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 1: and expressing her will, what does she want, what she

974
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 1: does not want? And again not to be morbid. This

975
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 1: is not morbidity. This is reality, family, and this is

976
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 1: what we must think of as we are living our lives,

977
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:47,160
Speaker 1: moving to that transition point because again, my mother could

978
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 1: outlive me, but we are prepared for death. Yeah, my

979
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:53,440
Speaker 1: mom used to it. We used to shun my mother

980
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:56,440
Speaker 1: about that conversation all the time, said that I'm like, no,

981
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 1: we don't want to talk about it, you know, but

982
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: you know she would stop us as say no, we're

983
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 1: gonna talk about it today. And I'll tell you, the

984
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 1: most beautiful thing about my mother's transition was that there

985
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: was no question, there were no questions. All of the

986
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:14,760
Speaker 1: things had been talked about, All the questions have been answered,

987
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: and my sister and I our only job was to

988
01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 1: execute and to find some space to greed. And I

989
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 1: promised you that saved me many many many years, probably

990
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,919
Speaker 1: in therapy and everything else, you know, although I still

991
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 1: had to go because I was probably, But the bottom

992
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 1: line is that it saved us a lot. So I

993
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:36,760
Speaker 1: really appreciate her pressing us talk about it. And you're

994
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 1: a right, deta. It is not morbid. It is actually

995
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 1: the discussion of life and the preservation of joy and

996
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 1: the preservation of peace of mind. Peace of mind is

997
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,280
Speaker 1: everything you want to be able to have the room

998
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 1: to just think about and love on and think of

999
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: your loved one when they're no longer they're in the physical.

1000
01:00:57,040 --> 01:01:02,360
Speaker 1: That is something that Indigenous people tend to do is

1001
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 1: prepare for I guess the homegoing. You know, Indigenous people,

1002
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:11,120
Speaker 1: people of the sun, people of the earth, they tend

1003
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 1: to do that. And we have fallen away from our

1004
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 1: traditions when it comes to death. Unfortunately, just for for

1005
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 1: me not to dampen the moment at all, but I

1006
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: I you know, I care to share the other side

1007
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:35,920
Speaker 1: of this. My father is alive, but he has dementia,

1008
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 1: and I do so wish that I knew exactly what

1009
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 1: it is that he would want. M So as I'm

1010
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:51,040
Speaker 1: saying that, like, oh, good people, you know we we

1011
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 1: really do have to be mindful. My god, you're thinking

1012
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 1: that it's your mom, it's your dad, and they're going

1013
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: to just you know, always be here. But that's not

1014
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:08,520
Speaker 1: reality at all. And if someone in your family has dementia,

1015
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: you have to start talking to them and preparing while there. Yes,

1016
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 1: that is super super important, I regretfully, Yeah, Storm, but

1017
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,320
Speaker 1: you're gonna have somebody today though, because not for en Shire. Yeah,

1018
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:31,640
Speaker 1: because sometimes you have to learn from other people's situations.

1019
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,800
Speaker 1: And you're right. I've been talking to my grandmother about

1020
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 1: death for years, since I was a little girl. I remember,

1021
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 1: I said, tell her, Grandmam me when it happens. I

1022
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 1: need for you to be in my dreams. I need

1023
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 1: for you to haunt me like we used to have

1024
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:46,959
Speaker 1: major conversations about like and to this day, that's why

1025
01:02:47,640 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 1: I can sit here and talk to her and know

1026
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 1: that she's always around whenever I call her, you know

1027
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:55,200
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, I have an appreciation. And again

1028
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,760
Speaker 1: it goes back to what Diana says to about spending

1029
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 1: time even in these moments, even the man, I'm gonna

1030
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 1: tell you my grandmother, I know I was fortunate in

1031
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:06,160
Speaker 1: our dimension situation, but it turned her into a more

1032
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: joyous person. So I couldn't wait to be around her.

1033
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 1: I woke up in the morning and I ran to

1034
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,640
Speaker 1: her room, you know what I mean. And so it's

1035
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:17,919
Speaker 1: just I'm so you know, I'm so advent about caring

1036
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:20,440
Speaker 1: about your elders and your loved ones, and Jill, You're right,

1037
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:22,920
Speaker 1: just so now at this point when it's dementia. You

1038
01:03:23,040 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 1: just it's the loving up. It's just the loving up

1039
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 1: and yourself so too. You know, a lot of times

1040
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 1: we just cannot dictate how those things are gonna go.

1041
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:35,440
Speaker 1: Father and I had a very complicated relationship. I actually

1042
01:03:35,480 --> 01:03:38,240
Speaker 1: hadn't spoke to my father for two years and was

1043
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 1: diagnosed with cancer. We hadn't spoken, you know, and I

1044
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:46,600
Speaker 1: felt very much justified in my decision not to speak.

1045
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 1: And I think that many people who had known our

1046
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 1: situation would have agreed with me. The problem is people

1047
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 1: get cancer and then you don't know how long you've got,

1048
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So there were things that

1049
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 1: went unsaid, you know what I'm saying. There were things

1050
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 1: that happened. But what I've come to understand even about

1051
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 1: that process losing both my parents two totally different circumstances, right,

1052
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 1: was that whatever moment there is to kiss that face,

1053
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 1: to look at it, look at that face. And Jill,

1054
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 1: I know you understand this because you're an observer. You

1055
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: are a sociologist in the heart, like you be looking

1056
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 1: at people. My thing is so my thing is that

1057
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 1: you know, there's that moment where you can look at

1058
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:38,680
Speaker 1: that person and see them the bone, so you can

1059
01:04:38,720 --> 01:04:43,040
Speaker 1: always remember smile and you start to record in your

1060
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:46,400
Speaker 1: mind the touch, how the hand feels when they touch you.

1061
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:50,000
Speaker 1: You know the tone of their voice. You know what

1062
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So when you think about that voice, you

1063
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:55,560
Speaker 1: know that voice and you can actually hear it speaking

1064
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 1: to you. When I get real like a mess, I

1065
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:02,240
Speaker 1: always try to think of my dad calling my name.

1066
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:04,520
Speaker 1: And my father used to call me the worst nickname.

1067
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 1: One on record called me poopy, which is the worst,

1068
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:12,080
Speaker 1: like you call somebody a baller ship as a nickname.

1069
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 1: I can hear him cold hey. He would always with

1070
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:25,840
Speaker 1: the hay first, you know, I can, and that's why

1071
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:29,400
Speaker 1: joy is replaced with the sung. I don't have any

1072
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:32,640
Speaker 1: I don't have any regrets. I ain't talked to my

1073
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:35,800
Speaker 1: dad for two years, but I know that voice. Yeah,

1074
01:05:36,080 --> 01:05:39,600
Speaker 1: I can hear it right now. I asked my blue baby.

1075
01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:43,480
Speaker 1: I said, Blue, are you scared? She said, oh what

1076
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:48,800
Speaker 1: I said? I said, of dying? She said, oh no,

1077
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:56,320
Speaker 1: I'm ready. I did a lot, okay, a full life.

1078
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,080
Speaker 1: I love that response, and you know the same applies

1079
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:03,280
Speaker 1: for my mama. Mama was recently diagnosed with dementia. I'm

1080
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 1: sure she wouldn't mind me sharing it. But and she's

1081
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,080
Speaker 1: saying things to me like, now, baby, I hope I

1082
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:10,640
Speaker 1: never forget you, and you know those kind of things.

1083
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, Mama, you will never forget I'm you. Even

1084
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 1: if you don't call my name, you'll know me, you know.

1085
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,880
Speaker 1: So I think it's important while we are in life

1086
01:06:22,240 --> 01:06:26,480
Speaker 1: to truly live to your mother, to your grandmother's, to

1087
01:06:26,600 --> 01:06:29,959
Speaker 1: your father, to to your grandmother Layah, who I knew,

1088
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:33,880
Speaker 1: and I will tell you her going home service was

1089
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:37,960
Speaker 1: a joyful occasion and and and even when we got

1090
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:42,400
Speaker 1: the news of her actual transition, yeah, we shed some tears,

1091
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:44,840
Speaker 1: but we also reveled in the fact that we had

1092
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:52,120
Speaker 1: the opportunity, the blessing to share time with this bright light,

1093
01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:57,520
Speaker 1: north star, force of nature woman, your grandmother law, Yeah,

1094
01:06:57,640 --> 01:06:59,600
Speaker 1: which is what she was, and she passed it to

1095
01:06:59,680 --> 01:07:04,200
Speaker 1: your mamma, and it's in you and for generations to come.

1096
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:08,840
Speaker 1: So you know, again, not to be down. And even

1097
01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:12,640
Speaker 1: with some tears in my eyes, say, it's made me

1098
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:17,200
Speaker 1: resolve to live life more. How about that. That's where

1099
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 1: I am and that's what's on my heart. Come on,

1100
01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:24,280
Speaker 1: So we just have to be present and we have

1101
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 1: to be prepared and we must stay positive because what

1102
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 1: we are experiencing this moment, it's a gift. Life is

1103
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:37,000
Speaker 1: a gift, and living is what we give ourselves. Living

1104
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:39,440
Speaker 1: is what we give to ourselves. Because you have a

1105
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,840
Speaker 1: choice whether to live or not to live. I choose life.

1106
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:47,320
Speaker 1: So what do you do? How about that? And and

1107
01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:49,680
Speaker 1: I don't mean to deflect, I'm just trying to prepare.

1108
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:55,600
Speaker 1: What does one do if your parents is unkind to

1109
01:07:55,760 --> 01:08:01,880
Speaker 1: you while they're ill. I I've seen it. I've been

1110
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:06,160
Speaker 1: around family members that throw the poop on the walls

1111
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:13,720
Speaker 1: and custom out like dogs. And the preparation for that

1112
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:19,800
Speaker 1: level of patience and forgiveness what if you don't have it?

1113
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:25,880
Speaker 1: Great point. I love this point here because that first

1114
01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 1: month where I had nobody helping me and my mother

1115
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 1: was complaining, she was threatening to go back to Miami,

1116
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:36,200
Speaker 1: and I was at my wits end. I literally called

1117
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:39,080
Speaker 1: a girlfriend and said, can you hook me up at

1118
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:41,559
Speaker 1: the hotel? I need to I need sleep. I felt

1119
01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:45,480
Speaker 1: like I wasn't sleeping. I remember one of the early podcasts,

1120
01:08:45,600 --> 01:08:47,160
Speaker 1: you know, Julie, you were talking about you gotta get

1121
01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:50,240
Speaker 1: your rest, you got to and I wasn't getting my rest.

1122
01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 1: So I was at my worst, and you know, at

1123
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:56,879
Speaker 1: that point, I called a Yeah, I talked to Layah.

1124
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:00,280
Speaker 1: I said, I need patience. I have none of my

1125
01:09:00,439 --> 01:09:04,559
Speaker 1: big flaws among many others, is in patience. I am

1126
01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:07,920
Speaker 1: not the most patient person. And so here my mother

1127
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,559
Speaker 1: was cursing at me. I felt like I was being

1128
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:14,200
Speaker 1: emotionally abused. I really did. And here I'm taking care

1129
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:16,960
Speaker 1: of her, making sure she's fed me, the medicines everything.

1130
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:20,040
Speaker 1: You know. I cried. I talked to some good friends,

1131
01:09:20,760 --> 01:09:25,679
Speaker 1: I prayed everything, and then I said I need help.

1132
01:09:25,960 --> 01:09:30,240
Speaker 1: That's the answer. And I got the help that I needed.

1133
01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:33,240
Speaker 1: It made all the difference. It was just me and

1134
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:36,360
Speaker 1: her in this house all day, me, you know, and

1135
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:39,240
Speaker 1: it was wearing me down, and and her poor baby.

1136
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:45,080
Speaker 1: I mean, my mother loves me implicitly, patrinsically adores me.

1137
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:48,240
Speaker 1: I'm her only child and she has devoted her life

1138
01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 1: to me. Now my turn to do it for her.

1139
01:09:51,320 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 1: But the help Jill made the difference. It just terrifies me. Yeah,

1140
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:00,960
Speaker 1: I'm tough in a lot of ways, but that's okay.

1141
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:07,640
Speaker 1: And that's okay. When people are mean to me, I

1142
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:10,000
Speaker 1: tend to get the funk away from them. When it's

1143
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:12,680
Speaker 1: dementia is not about you. When it's dementia, it's not

1144
01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:16,880
Speaker 1: about you. Help come on, talk about it. So you

1145
01:10:16,960 --> 01:10:19,720
Speaker 1: have to step outside your egos what you're talking about doing.

1146
01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:22,400
Speaker 1: That's why I like really real talk. Like right now,

1147
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:28,960
Speaker 1: I am reading Mindfulness, this book about becoming supernatural, anything

1148
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:32,519
Speaker 1: that's gonna fortify and strengthen me. I'm reading everything from

1149
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:37,160
Speaker 1: Herman hess An author too. Yeah. I am taking in nourishment,

1150
01:10:37,760 --> 01:10:42,960
Speaker 1: I'm taking along showers, I'm lighting my candles, um doing

1151
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:45,680
Speaker 1: things that are gonna keep me centered and calm and

1152
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 1: peaceful and optimistic because that is the very nature of

1153
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:52,400
Speaker 1: my character. So yeah, I know this is and you

1154
01:10:52,439 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 1: know what's interesting. Let me tell you when we were

1155
01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:58,680
Speaker 1: talking about what's on my heart earlier today, I was

1156
01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:03,760
Speaker 1: reading about them Missutra and self pleasure, and I'm gonna

1157
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,680
Speaker 1: go from a pleasure to you know, because it's all

1158
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:07,880
Speaker 1: literally And I was like, okay, am i gonna tell

1159
01:11:07,920 --> 01:11:11,120
Speaker 1: Asia and Jill and li Yah about this great book

1160
01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:15,400
Speaker 1: with diagrams. Oh though I was looking at because you know, hey,

1161
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:19,720
Speaker 1: pleasure is part of life. Serious, Come on, what was

1162
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:24,840
Speaker 1: on my heart and mind about an hour two ago,

1163
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:36,519
Speaker 1: A real good multiple here, that that calming in a

1164
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:42,880
Speaker 1: that peace spirit. Yes Bee, a blanket over your spiritual

1165
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:48,280
Speaker 1: mindt doing. Oh man, what a life? What a life?

1166
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:52,120
Speaker 1: What a pleasure, what a privilege to live it? And

1167
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:57,320
Speaker 1: the idea that you can help somebody transition in a

1168
01:11:57,360 --> 01:12:02,200
Speaker 1: beautiful way is both terror fine to me and such

1169
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:08,400
Speaker 1: an immense privilege. My god, m m mmmmmm. I need

1170
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:13,479
Speaker 1: Joey Salas to just live and be happy and joyful

1171
01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:20,479
Speaker 1: as long as possible. Don't fret, don't worry, don't live

1172
01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:23,320
Speaker 1: in the press. I mean, I'm saying, be prepared, but

1173
01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:26,439
Speaker 1: still be be living. That's why I said, you have life,

1174
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 1: but you're responsible for the living part. And if you're

1175
01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:33,839
Speaker 1: not living, that's really on you, because why you're wasting

1176
01:12:33,880 --> 01:12:37,280
Speaker 1: the gift. You're wasting the time, and that's not cool.

1177
01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:39,640
Speaker 1: And then you've got people like my mama, who, like

1178
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:44,559
Speaker 1: I said, who could live for She always say she

1179
01:12:44,600 --> 01:12:47,160
Speaker 1: could do that, that's very possible, and I could raise

1180
01:12:47,240 --> 01:12:49,240
Speaker 1: up out of here. But you know what, that's what

1181
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:52,240
Speaker 1: I want to say. I'm learning to no longer fear death,

1182
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:56,160
Speaker 1: and I'm also preparing if, in fact, it happens to

1183
01:12:56,520 --> 01:13:00,200
Speaker 1: my mother or my children or damble. You know, me

1184
01:13:00,240 --> 01:13:03,000
Speaker 1: and Diana are now having conversations about when she passed,

1185
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,280
Speaker 1: and she's already given me stuff and whatnot, and that's

1186
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:07,439
Speaker 1: difficult to I mean, it's not difficult to take the

1187
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:09,479
Speaker 1: art work that she's given me, but it's difficult to

1188
01:13:09,479 --> 01:13:13,880
Speaker 1: have those conversations. Yeah, but you know I'm having them,

1189
01:13:14,040 --> 01:13:16,240
Speaker 1: and it gave me joy to be able to give

1190
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:19,840
Speaker 1: you something that you liked and I owned, rather than

1191
01:13:19,880 --> 01:13:22,400
Speaker 1: you need die and you have to get it when

1192
01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:25,680
Speaker 1: I died, get it. While I'm happy that you have

1193
01:13:26,320 --> 01:13:28,320
Speaker 1: what I want you well, some of what I want

1194
01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:30,320
Speaker 1: you to do. I mean, you know when I have

1195
01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:35,400
Speaker 1: you know, not Yes, she got some stuffy ladies and gentlemen.

1196
01:13:35,520 --> 01:13:39,960
Speaker 1: Is super important to gather your village, gather like minded individuals,

1197
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:45,200
Speaker 1: gather people that love your stinking as that will be

1198
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:48,840
Speaker 1: there for you in the dark times, in your confusion,

1199
01:13:49,400 --> 01:13:52,360
Speaker 1: in your happiness and peace. It is super important to

1200
01:13:52,400 --> 01:13:59,160
Speaker 1: do these things because everybody needs somebody, and with our elders,

1201
01:13:59,160 --> 01:14:02,960
Speaker 1: they're gonna need us. They're gonna need us. Can I

1202
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:05,080
Speaker 1: just say this one last thing. I am a proud

1203
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:08,639
Speaker 1: board member of the National Museum of African American Music

1204
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:13,760
Speaker 1: in Nashville, Tennessee, across the street from the original Rymann Auditorium.

1205
01:14:13,920 --> 01:14:16,520
Speaker 1: The Grand Old operate in the heart of Nashville, Tennessee,

1206
01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:21,120
Speaker 1: and we did our ribbon cutting recently, and the museum

1207
01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:25,960
Speaker 1: is open to receive the community. So I know we're

1208
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:29,000
Speaker 1: in this pandemic. But when things start to open up,

1209
01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:31,960
Speaker 1: you can still join the museum. You can go to

1210
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:36,080
Speaker 1: Black Music Museum dot org and you can support the

1211
01:14:36,200 --> 01:14:40,280
Speaker 1: museum until you're able to come physically and see this

1212
01:14:40,479 --> 01:14:45,519
Speaker 1: grand institution. Damn, don't know how to do it, y'all.

1213
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:50,639
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that woman know how that's done. I'm

1214
01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:52,920
Speaker 1: not as classy, but you know, is it still trying

1215
01:14:55,320 --> 01:15:02,000
Speaker 1: than Thank you so much for being here. The fantastic,

1216
01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:20,920
Speaker 1: gorgeous silver fi Ya. How do you eat an elephant?

1217
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:33,639
Speaker 1: One by? It time? Hey, everyone in the producer eaves

1218
01:15:33,680 --> 01:15:38,440
Speaker 1: here and this time the resource is simple. It's your grandparents.

1219
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:41,120
Speaker 1: And if you don't have grandparents, who you can go to.

1220
01:15:41,560 --> 01:15:44,599
Speaker 1: The resource can be other elders in your life. They

1221
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:47,880
Speaker 1: really are a well spring of knowledge and wisdom. And

1222
01:15:47,920 --> 01:15:50,760
Speaker 1: like everyone said in this episode, we're on this earth

1223
01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:53,920
Speaker 1: for a limited time by design. Who better to turn

1224
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:57,280
Speaker 1: to for guidance on getting older than the elders we know,

1225
01:15:57,520 --> 01:16:00,400
Speaker 1: love and care for. We can take the opportun tunity

1226
01:16:00,520 --> 01:16:03,080
Speaker 1: to listen to and learn from them while we have

1227
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:06,839
Speaker 1: the chance. There is no single blueprint for getting older

1228
01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:10,000
Speaker 1: and caring for others as they age, but we can

1229
01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:12,800
Speaker 1: look to people who have been through life and are

1230
01:16:12,840 --> 01:16:20,880
Speaker 1: still living in all right. Until next time, Thank you

1231
01:16:20,920 --> 01:16:24,200
Speaker 1: so much for listening to Jay dot L. We'll catch

1232
01:16:24,240 --> 01:16:49,960
Speaker 1: up with you next time, jeez. This podcast is hosted

1233
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:53,799
Speaker 1: by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair, and Age Graden Danceler.

1234
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:58,160
Speaker 1: It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn Ji and Brian Calhoun.

1235
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:02,320
Speaker 1: It's produced by La sink Player and me Eve Jeff Cope.

1236
01:17:02,560 --> 01:17:05,120
Speaker 1: The editing and sound design for this episode we're done

1237
01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:17,960
Speaker 1: by Christina Loranger. Yeah yeah, and then putting an S

1238
01:17:18,120 --> 01:17:23,160
Speaker 1: on the back of everything as well, the counts, the

1239
01:17:23,160 --> 01:17:25,439
Speaker 1: fun my mother does that, I don't want you, she does,

1240
01:17:25,520 --> 01:17:31,120
Speaker 1: k marks she does, and our elders they also say

1241
01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:34,320
Speaker 1: stuff like well, my mom in particular she says, oh

1242
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:39,800
Speaker 1: look at that. That is just perfect, all perfect perfect.

1243
01:17:41,520 --> 01:17:45,000
Speaker 1: J dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio.

1244
01:17:45,360 --> 01:17:48,640
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I

1245
01:17:48,840 --> 01:17:53,200
Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to

1246
01:17:53,280 --> 01:17:54,400
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.