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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Good Stuff.

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Speaker 2: I'm Jacob Shick and I'm joined by my co host

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Speaker 2: and wife, Ashley Shick.

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Speaker 3: Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a

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Speaker 3: gold Star granddaughter, and we work together to serve military veterans,

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Speaker 3: first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental

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Speaker 3: and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy.

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Speaker 4: At One Tribe Foundation, we.

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Speaker 2: Believe everyone has a sword itself, not only about the peaks,

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Speaker 2: but also the valleys they've been through to get them where.

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Speaker 1: They are today.

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Speaker 3: Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story,

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Speaker 3: to share with us the lessons they've learned that shape

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Speaker 3: who they are and what they're doing to pay it

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Speaker 3: forward and give back.

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Speaker 2: Our mission with this show is dig deep into our

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Speaker 2: guest's journey so we can celebrate the hope and inspiration

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Speaker 2: their story.

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Speaker 1: Has to offer.

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Speaker 4: We're thrilled you're joining us again.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Good Stuff. Our guests today is my brother,

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Speaker 2: Joaquin Ramiro. He's not only a fellow Marine, but he's

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Speaker 2: a father, husband, and avid gamer. His work as a

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Speaker 2: Chief operating Officer of One Tribe Foundation puts him squarely

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Speaker 2: in the trenches regularly of helping a multitude of people

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Speaker 2: not die by suicide.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and his journey provides us so much inspiration on

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Speaker 3: the daily as we have the privilege of working alongside him.

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Speaker 3: He's here to tell us his story about how being

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Speaker 3: raised in a strict religious household and getting sent to

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Speaker 3: a boarding school in Mexico helped shape him to be

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Speaker 3: the marine and executive that he is today.

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Speaker 2: We're so proud to bring this conversation to you because

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Speaker 2: I know for a fact he dug deep and there

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Speaker 2: were no boundaries to his vulnerability. And this is the

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Speaker 2: first time I've known him to open up in a

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Speaker 2: public form.

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Speaker 4: Yes, it definitely felt like a family affair.

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Speaker 3: We're actually here in the One Tribe offices today, which

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Speaker 3: is exciting because this is where the magic happens.

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Speaker 2: Happy to be here. It's honor I have you here. No,

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Speaker 2: are you a marine's marine, but you're you're a leader

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Speaker 2: of humans. And just saying I love he is not

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Speaker 2: enough like it's not enough justice. Oh, I appreciate it.

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Speaker 2: It's an honor to be here. As you guys know,

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Speaker 2: I love you too.

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Speaker 3: Marine Corps was part is a part of your story,

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Speaker 3: but it's by no means.

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Speaker 4: The whole story, the whole story.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: It's one thing to say, you know what, I want

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Speaker 3: to serve my country, I want to don the cloth

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Speaker 3: of my nation. But then what makes you go the

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Speaker 3: extra mile and say, but I'm not just going to

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Speaker 3: join the armed forces. I'm actually going to join the

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Speaker 3: Marine Corps.

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Speaker 5: So Marine Corps. It was all about the uniform. I

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Speaker 5: mean honest, the first thing I saw was the dress blues,

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Speaker 5: and I was like, all right. I didn't have really

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Speaker 5: a background on any of the branches to say that

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Speaker 5: one was harder than the other. All I knew was

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Speaker 5: that my grandfather was a marine. As a matter of fact,

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Speaker 5: I walked into the wrong door because I wanted to

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Speaker 5: be in the branch that flew airplanes, air Force marines.

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Speaker 5: That's exactly what my recruiter told me. But yeah, no,

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Speaker 5: I went in with zero knowledge of any branch. I

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Speaker 5: just knew that I was going to serve. Walked into

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Speaker 5: the first door, the red one with the ego globe

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Speaker 5: and anchor, and I was like, all right, well, I'm

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Speaker 5: here to join. And my recruiter, well, I told my

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Speaker 5: recruiter was like, hey, I want to join the branch

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Speaker 5: that flies jets.

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Speaker 1: He's like, well we have jets, Well sign me up.

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Speaker 5: That's how I ended up in the Marine Corps recruiting office.

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Speaker 4: We'll find jets.

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Speaker 1: They have them. They do, they have jets.

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Speaker 2: I don't know about you, but it sounds like your

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Speaker 2: recruiter probably didn't have the same integrity as my recruiter,

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Speaker 2: which is kind of the mo for recruiters, right. I mean,

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Speaker 2: my recruiter was great. He was got me out of

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Speaker 2: jail like he was awesome.

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Speaker 1: I mean he tried talking to me out.

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Speaker 2: To go on the infantry. He's like, Jake, you don't

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Speaker 2: do that. Living conditions are gonna suck, like you don't

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Speaker 2: eat great. And I was like, exactly, need too mature

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Speaker 2: to be in college. I need to grow mentally, physically, emotionally.

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Speaker 2: Marines were a great, great place for that. And I

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Speaker 2: don't know about you, but my Marine Corps boot camp

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Speaker 2: experience was there's a reason they say they have more

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Speaker 2: mind games in Milton Bradley.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's a fact. Mine was different. Though.

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Speaker 5: My boot camp experience didn't feel as rough as I've

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Speaker 5: heard a lot of people talk about it, and I

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Speaker 5: think a lot of it had to do with my upbringing.

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Speaker 5: You think maybe I just felt like it was and

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Speaker 5: I'm not going to say easy. It was by no

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Speaker 5: means easy, but looking around at all the other recruits

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Speaker 5: in my platoon, some were struggling, they were on the

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Speaker 5: struggle bus, and I just felt like, you listen to

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Speaker 5: your orders, you do what you're told, and this is

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Speaker 5: going to be good.

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Speaker 1: Love fast, loved faster, and with purpose. That's right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, being a United States Marine it is one of

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Speaker 3: the most challenging things that you can sign up for.

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Speaker 3: Everything from going through boot camp and then and you're

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Speaker 3: both your experiences, you know, deploying and seeing the things

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Speaker 3: that you saw, experiencing what you experienced, and then coming

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Speaker 3: home and then the transition of getting out of the

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Speaker 3: Marine Corps. Transitioning back to civilian life not an easy thing.

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Speaker 3: It's something that we focus on every day here at

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Speaker 3: One Tribe Foundation and trying to help our fellow veterans,

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Speaker 3: first responders, law enforcement officers, frontline healthcare workers, and their families,

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Speaker 3: you know, transition from going and doing what they do

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Speaker 3: on a daily basis and service to living a quote

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Speaker 3: normal life, whatever that might look like. But most Marines

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Speaker 3: begin their relationship, you know with that struggle in training.

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Speaker 3: Your story is different. You had some things in your

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Speaker 3: toolbox already that kind of helped you prepare for that experience.

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Speaker 4: Tell us a little bit about your story so.

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Speaker 5: Early on, I mean young teenager. I have a twin brother.

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Speaker 5: We were raised out in the middle of nowhere. I

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Speaker 5: think that's originally where everything just started for us as

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Speaker 5: far as our resibuilding braziliency. We lived out in California

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Speaker 5: in the mountains. It was caretaking some three thousand acres

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Speaker 5: of property for some rich old guy. We lived way

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Speaker 5: off of like the highway, like it was out there.

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Speaker 5: There was no electricity, no lights. We lived in a

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Speaker 5: fourteen foot trailer. We took bats in buckets of water.

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Speaker 5: We were homeschooled and we were allowed free rain to

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Speaker 5: this three thousand acres of property where we would leave

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Speaker 5: in the morning go exploring in the mountains, hunt rattlesnakes,

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Speaker 5: maybe not find rattlesnakes and strike that I'm kidding. And

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Speaker 5: there was like he had this man made lake out there,

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Speaker 5: so we'd like build little boats out of like inner

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Speaker 5: tubes and stuff. My mom probably would have had no

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Speaker 5: clue if one of us drowned that lake just putting

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Speaker 5: it out there. That's how that's how we were raised.

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Speaker 5: We loved it. We didn't know anything different. We didn't

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Speaker 5: know that we were.

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Speaker 1: What people would call poor.

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Speaker 5: It was just part of our life to be able

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Speaker 5: to have complete full rain of acres and acres of mountains.

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Speaker 1: It was just fun for us.

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Speaker 5: It was that's initially where you'd go a big boulder,

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Speaker 5: rolls over on your foot. Nobody knows one of us

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Speaker 5: could run back and get some help. Maybe, but I still,

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Speaker 5: you know, look back at it back on it today,

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Speaker 5: and I'm like, that's kind of nuts. Like if it

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Speaker 5: was my daughter, I don't know that she would have

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Speaker 5: been given that much freedom.

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Speaker 3: But because it sounds like little house on the Prayer,

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Speaker 3: like or like Texas in the eighteen eighties, like no electricity,

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Speaker 3: no running water, you're taking baths and buckets.

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Speaker 4: I mean, what year was.

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Speaker 5: This, So this was what early nineties. Yeah, we were

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Speaker 5: probably thirteen fourteen years old at the time. Obviously home studied.

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Speaker 5: We didn't, you know. I want to give some praise

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Speaker 5: to my mom. She did a pretty good job educating us,

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Speaker 5: keeping us educated because we were able to transition into

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Speaker 5: public school at the time. But we didn't go to

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Speaker 5: public school until we were in the eighth grade. And

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Speaker 5: this is where it became problematic because you know, my brother,

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Speaker 5: he was born without an ear, not very used to

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Speaker 5: interacting with kids or people our age, so he got

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Speaker 5: bullied a lot for it, ended up doing this surgery

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Speaker 5: and they messed it up even worse than what it

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Speaker 5: was before. He ended up leaving the school. I stayed there,

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Speaker 5: so we've always had a really close connection. So it

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Speaker 5: was difficult for me to not have my brother at.

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Speaker 2: School, especially because y'all are identical twins.

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Speaker 3: We are what they say is true about twins, right,

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Speaker 3: you have that crazy strong bond.

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Speaker 5: It's very difficult for us to be not especially identical twins, right, yeah,

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Speaker 5: more so than fraternal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And you and Francisco or your type, Yeah, very close.

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Speaker 5: And so that was a difficult time because we'd never

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Speaker 5: been raised around kiddos. We were very you know, kept

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Speaker 5: in a bubble most of our lives. So having that

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Speaker 5: interaction bullying, we weren't used to what bullying was at

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Speaker 5: the time. That was also something that just I want

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Speaker 5: to say, looking back on it now, just built on

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Speaker 5: that resiliency. And then after graduating school, eighth grade or whatever.

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Speaker 5: Our parents decided our home. Stepparent and parent decided that

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Speaker 5: they would wanted us to go to school in Mexico.

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Speaker 5: And I think that was an extremely rough transition, at

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Speaker 5: least it was for me.

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Speaker 4: How did that come about?

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Speaker 5: That came about from the religion that we practiced at

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Speaker 5: the time, or that they practiced at the time. It

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Speaker 5: was they were very conservative, I guess. I guess I

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Speaker 5: could say we were all conservative Christian not by choice.

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Speaker 1: As far as kids, he just you raised how you raised.

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Speaker 5: Stepdad at the time, he was extremely conservative Seventh day Amtist.

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Speaker 5: My mom in her prior life was very much into

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Speaker 5: gangs and very violent and things like that. When they met, however,

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Speaker 5: they met, she converted over to this religion from Catholic.

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Speaker 5: We used to live in the Bay Area, moved down

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Speaker 5: to San Diego with this guy stepfather, I guess at

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Speaker 5: the time, knowing no one all of our family was

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Speaker 5: up in the Bay Area, so we didn't have anybody.

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Speaker 5: I think that also serves as a lot of the

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Speaker 5: connection between and my brothers. We had each other our

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Speaker 5: whole lives, like through everything. In any case, it was

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Speaker 5: this religion. I didn't really have a problem with the

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Speaker 5: religion until we got to our teen years and myself

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Speaker 5: and my brother were appointed as the bad kids of church.

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Speaker 5: And this is something also that I look back and

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Speaker 5: I was like, well, what is a bad kid? Because

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Speaker 5: we wore baggy jeans and went to the movies and

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Speaker 5: I think the first movie we went to was a

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Speaker 5: Titanic and somebody from church saw us and they're like,

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Speaker 5: all these sinners are at the movie theaters. And so

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Speaker 5: that was really what labeled us as bad kids in

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Speaker 5: the church, right, so, you know, in order to get

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Speaker 5: us on the right path. I don't know if a

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Speaker 5: recruiter was going around to all the churches in the

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Speaker 5: area or what, but my parents caught wind of this

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Speaker 5: school down in Mexico that, you know, was great at

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Speaker 5: transforming the lives of bad kids or something. I don't know,

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Speaker 5: because that's how we ended up down in a boarding

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Speaker 5: school in Mexico.

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Speaker 4: What are the beliefs of this church?

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Speaker 3: Like, because you going to see the Titanic at the

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Speaker 3: movie theater? And I grew up in a very conservative

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Speaker 3: church environment as well, where we weren't allowed to listen

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Speaker 3: to secular music and you know, you couldn't wear revealing

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Speaker 3: clothes and couldn't celebrate holidays and all of that same thing.

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Speaker 1: No secular music.

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Speaker 5: I mean we listened to hymns, and I mean that

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Speaker 5: was the music that we grew up with, not Metallica

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Speaker 5: or led Zeppelin or anything. The other thing that I've

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Speaker 5: talked about a lot. We weren't allowed to do any

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Speaker 5: kind of intramural sports. I consider myself fairly athletic. I

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Speaker 5: think we probably could have done well in any sport,

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Speaker 5: but we were never given the opportunity because games fell

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Speaker 5: on Saturdays, and Saturdays are the day of rest.

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Speaker 1: You don't do anything. You don't watch TV.

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Speaker 5: From the time the sun goes down Friday evening to

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Speaker 5: the time the sun goes down Saturday.

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Speaker 1: You don't do anything.

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Speaker 5: No TV, no video games, no sports, no nothing. So

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Speaker 5: that was one of those roles. Movie theaters off limits

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Speaker 5: to a certain extent. Meat eaters were also looked at

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Speaker 5: as like, oh, you know, you guys are kind of bad,

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Speaker 5: like you should be vegetarian. Yeah, no makeup for the

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Speaker 5: women jeweler. Jewelry was pretty much one of those things

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Speaker 5: that you're not a medic center and this specific church

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Speaker 5: because they're not all the same. This specific church was

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Speaker 5: very conservative in its ways.

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Speaker 2: So how did you feel that even at that age,

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Speaker 2: you know, you're early teens, you're one of those people

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Speaker 2: that you're very intuitive anyway, you're a good read on energy.

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Speaker 2: And did you even know then, like, yeah, this is

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Speaker 2: this is a little crazy.

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Speaker 5: No, it was at that point when, you know, because

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Speaker 5: most of the other churches that we had gone to

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Speaker 5: was hitting mess. It was like, you know, but this

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Speaker 5: specific place, the people in it were very judgmental individuals

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Speaker 5: and this.

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Speaker 1: Is on its face hypocritical. Yeah, you know, absolutely, I

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Speaker 1: agree with that. It was. There was a lot of hypocrisy.

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Speaker 5: And I'm not going to call anyone out here by name,

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Speaker 5: but there were other other teenagers that were far I

264
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Speaker 5: don't want to use the word worse, but let's just

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Speaker 5: call it worse. At the time that nobody was saying

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Speaker 5: anything because you know, their father was a head deacon

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Speaker 5: and maybe they kept it hidden how to do senority.

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Speaker 5: So it was it was definitely identified as what is

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Speaker 5: this like this place?

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Speaker 1: Do I even want to be here? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: And we went Wednesday evenings and Saturday all day long time.

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Speaker 5: You have your friends in church, and I think that's

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Speaker 5: really what kept us. There is that we get to

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Speaker 5: interact with our buddies, but for the most part, it

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Speaker 5: was like, I'm not I don't want to sit through

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Speaker 5: a sermon like especially these moments.

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Speaker 3: And I do think for some people, this environment, the

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Speaker 3: structure works. For some people, they're so desperate or they're

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Speaker 3: longing for the belief, for the atmosphere, for the family,

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Speaker 3: and this is what they cling to. And in my experience, again,

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Speaker 3: because you know I share this, I understand exactly what

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Speaker 3: you're talking about, because it's very similar to a period

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Speaker 3: of my childhood where we went to a church that

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Speaker 3: was very similar. It's almost like they want that to

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Speaker 3: be your whole world.

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Speaker 4: This is your.

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Speaker 3: Family, this is your world, this is your environment, and

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Speaker 3: we've got to make sure so as you're when you're

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Speaker 3: a child, if it's your parents seeking out that environment,

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Speaker 3: seeking out that religion, you know, as a child, it's

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Speaker 3: like that's just what you grow up in. It's almost

292
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Speaker 3: the norm. It's well, this isn't weird, this isn't odd,

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Speaker 3: this is just my environment.

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Speaker 4: And you don't know until you get labeled.

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Speaker 1: And I do agree with you.

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Speaker 5: Religion and especially church, one of the positives is the

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Speaker 5: fellowship right people getting together.

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Speaker 1: I absolutely agree with that.

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Speaker 3: How was that when you got the call like, hey,

300
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Speaker 3: we're going to this boarding school in Mexico?

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Speaker 4: What was going through your head?

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Speaker 5: We didn't have a choice, so I wouldn't be able

303
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Speaker 5: to tell you how I felt about it at the time,

304
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Speaker 5: because it was like, this is what this is what

305
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Speaker 5: you're doing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you were probably pretty accustomed to that at

307
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Speaker 2: that point.

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Speaker 1: This is what we do, how we do it, when

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Speaker 1: we do it, and you don't question. We obeyed the rules.

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Speaker 5: If you didn't, then you get your ass whooped and

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Speaker 5: a lot of weird punishment too. It used to be

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Speaker 5: that we'd get spank that we used to live out

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Speaker 5: by an orange grove. I remember this in our stepfather

314
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Speaker 5: whenever we did something bad. Some were some justifiably we were.

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Speaker 5: We weren't always angels. You'd take us out and you know,

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Speaker 5: ten trees in and you'd hold our hands above our

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Speaker 5: head by our wrists and hit us with the belt

318
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Speaker 5: and just depending on the severity of the of what

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Speaker 5: we did, it was anywhere from three to ten that

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Speaker 5: we'd get I have to sit there and watch my

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Speaker 5: brother get spanked, and then it was my turn, and

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Speaker 5: my brother would sit there and watch me get spanked.

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Speaker 5: So I remember there was one time when we started

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Speaker 5: getting too old for getting hit, we had to dig

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Speaker 5: a hole like three feet deep, drop this fifty pounds

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Speaker 5: rock down in it, take it back out, fill the hole.

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Speaker 5: And it just random discipline that that sounds.

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Speaker 2: Like a marine corps. You see all those big rocks,

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Speaker 2: go make them a little rock.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So tell us about when you went down to Mexico.

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Speaker 5: So Mexico was interesting. It was one of those things too,

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Speaker 5: where the way we were brought up, it was just

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Speaker 5: like you just do what is ahead of you. So

335
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Speaker 5: if they say you're going to school in Mexico, just

336
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Speaker 5: go to school in Mexico. It's not necessarily that I

337
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 5: wanted to be there, but at the time it was

338
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Speaker 5: just like make best of a shitty situation kind of deal.

339
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Speaker 5: And it was an interesting time. We graduated because in

340
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Speaker 5: Mexico you graduate in the ninth grade. So we graduated,

341
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Speaker 5: stayed the next year. That's where things started getting rough.

342
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Speaker 5: I started getting into what they say would call trouble.

343
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Speaker 5: I guess being a smart elect to the teacher if

344
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Speaker 5: they didn't like you anything that you said, and so

345
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Speaker 5: they give it's called then monastasion, but it's I guess

346
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Speaker 5: the equivalent to like a demerit or something here. I

347
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Speaker 5: guess you get so many of those. They pull you

348
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Speaker 5: out of school and they make you work. I remember

349
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Speaker 5: there was a time where this was when I was

350
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Speaker 5: actually pulled out of class and made the new manual labor.

351
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Speaker 5: All day they were redoing the whole basketball court concrete,

352
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Speaker 5: and so my job was to handmake bricks. Well it

353
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Speaker 5: was a machine, but we'd like hand mix the contry.

354
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Speaker 5: I remember they drove us out way out to the coast.

355
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Speaker 5: This is in Baja California. So we went out to

356
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Speaker 5: close to some Philippe, which is on the inside of

357
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Speaker 5: the Baja California, to this gravel pit. And it was

358
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 5: like three three of us guys. We were all in trouble,

359
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,359
Speaker 5: so we were, you know, serving out our sentences in

360
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,159
Speaker 5: manual labor. They take us to this gravel pit. We

361
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 5: loaded up on this dump truck. Very safe procedure, by

362
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,879
Speaker 5: the way, driving one hundred and fifty miles on the

363
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,199
Speaker 5: back of a truck full of gravel. I remember, we

364
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 5: loaded up, bring it back, and our job was to

365
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,160
Speaker 5: make concrete and bricks and then we had to lay

366
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,159
Speaker 5: out all this concrete on a new basketball court. So

367
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 5: you have that that work, and then you know you

368
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 5: you then go to your dorm and finish out, and

369
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Speaker 5: on top of that, you do your you do your

370
00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 5: school work, you go to school, and then you work

371
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,119
Speaker 5: at this at this school, so in order to stay

372
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Speaker 5: in the dorm and all.

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Speaker 1: Of that, pay in your own way.

374
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Speaker 5: But through many Yeah, they had a labor piece of

375
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Speaker 5: it and then the school the education piece of it.

376
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Speaker 1: So if you get enough.

377
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Speaker 5: Of these demerits, you just do manual labor all day

378
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,040
Speaker 5: long while everybody else goes to school.

379
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Speaker 1: And I got to that point. I got enough of

380
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Speaker 1: those where I got to that point.

381
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,399
Speaker 5: So I think it was like seven after ten you

382
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 5: get kicked out of school completely. And I remember this

383
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 5: time it was on me. I'll admit it. There's a

384
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Speaker 5: girl's dorm that's a couple of football fields away from

385
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,159
Speaker 5: the guy's dorm. Keep them separate, right, One night, I

386
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,680
Speaker 5: snuck out with my girlfriend at the time, and a

387
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 5: couple other buddies went with their girlfriends too. Keep in

388
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 5: mind the way I was brought up, I had not

389
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:35,439
Speaker 5: kissed a girl before. Holding hands was you know, saying yes. So,

390
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,679
Speaker 5: you know, me and this girl were hanging out in

391
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Speaker 5: the South Alfa field by this water pump. I remember,

392
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 5: we didn't do anything. We went out there, we were

393
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 5: talking all night, you know, and these two other couples,

394
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 5: who knows what they were doing. I mean obviously by sound,

395
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:49,919
Speaker 5: maybe you know what they were doing, but I was

396
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,720
Speaker 5: very oblivious. So, you know, somebody ritted us out.

397
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Speaker 4: But it was completely innocent.

398
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 5: And what adult are you going to tell that we

399
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,000
Speaker 5: didn't do anything and they're going to believe you exactly,

400
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 5: So somebody dined us out. The group of us that

401
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,880
Speaker 5: had gone out there, we were all from the United States,

402
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,679
Speaker 5: and so six of us got suspended. Five of us

403
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,080
Speaker 5: went back to our homes in the United States. The

404
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 5: one that had the opportunity to stay back in Mexico

405
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 5: was me. My parents. I think their mindset was that

406
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 5: it was going to be a more of a reward

407
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 5: than a punishment if they allowed me to come back

408
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 5: home on a suspension. So they decided they were going

409
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,719
Speaker 5: to send me to an orphanage, which was quite a

410
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,879
Speaker 5: distance away from where we were at at the boarding

411
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 5: school that hadn't been started yet. It was his family

412
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 5: that you know American family that started this orphanage down

413
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,680
Speaker 5: in Mexico. They were trying to build it. It wasn't

414
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 5: up and running, but I guess I was their first

415
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 5: orphan because that's where I got sent for a week

416
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 5: week or two weeks or something like that to serve

417
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 5: out my suspension for sneaking out my girlfriend.

418
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,680
Speaker 4: So where was Francisco at this time?

419
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 5: He was still in school here, He's still the boarding,

420
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 5: had not been in trouble.

421
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 4: So was he staying out of trouble for the most part.

422
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 5: There was a time where my brother, I don't know

423
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 5: what he had done, but he had a a heart

424
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,600
Speaker 5: this heart thing, and the principle of the school in

425
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 5: our dormitory punched him in the chest and I found

426
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 5: out about it, and I immediately went in there. And

427
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,359
Speaker 5: this guy could tell that he was going to have

428
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 5: a rough go at it. My brothers obviously, you know,

429
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 5: he was wheezing, he was in pain, and I had

430
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,239
Speaker 5: some choice words for the principle of this school to

431
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 5: the point where he got he was you could tell

432
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 5: he was visibly scared, like he knows he probably should

433
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:30,360
Speaker 5: not have done that, especially to one of the American

434
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 5: students that like actually paid for their schooling, to the

435
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 5: point where he told me go ahead and just I'll

436
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,479
Speaker 5: give you a you can go ahead and punch me.

437
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,439
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm not going to hit you, you know,

438
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 5: but I just want you to know that it's not cool.

439
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 5: And you know, so obviously it didn't come out in

440
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 5: physical violence. It just I was extremely defensive of my

441
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:49,360
Speaker 5: brother at that time, and he.

442
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 1: Could tell.

443
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,359
Speaker 3: I know, you said that they would make you do

444
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 3: manual labor if you got in trouble. But where the

445
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 3: kids subjected the violence, See.

446
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 5: That was not that I was aware of, but he

447
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 5: had and that was what struck me as you know,

448
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 5: very very different and odd for us being the American

449
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 5: kids in Mexico school. Yeah, we certainly always looked down

450
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 5: upon as like the pocho, so the you know, the

451
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 5: that's what they called this year of poltr like a

452
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 5: you know, we we weren't Mexican. And then I still.

453
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 2: Want to know what that means, Like I don't know

454
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:26,399
Speaker 2: that mean, what's.

455
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 5: Like it's an American Mexican but like less than really

456
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 5: so growing up too, that was another thing. And here

457
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 5: in America, a lot of people look at you as

458
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 5: a Mexican kid, right, some illegal alien. I was born

459
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 5: in the United States. I was raised in the United States.

460
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 5: Proud to be an American.

461
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 1: Grandfather served for the United States.

462
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, and so you get looked at like that here

463
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 5: in America and then you go to Mexico and you

464
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 5: get looked at the same way by Mexicans and who

465
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 5: are these American little American kids? So yeah, we were

466
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 5: treated differently, for sure. But that that punch when he

467
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,160
Speaker 5: decided he wants to physically assault my brother, I don't

468
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 5: know what. I don't I'd have to I have to

469
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 5: double check my brother. I don't remember what he did,

470
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 5: but yeah, I was It was.

471
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: Certainly one of those things.

472
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 5: I was like, no, no, Actually, now that I think

473
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 5: about it, that was the first time that I felt real, true,

474
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 5: like anger to the point that I wanted to get.

475
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 1: Physical gum starts any one, all of it.

476
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 5: You know, your face is burning, you can't see anything

477
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 5: but the anger that you have, and you just want

478
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 5: to do something extremely hurtful to someone. I want to

479
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 5: say that was probably one of the first times where

480
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 5: I actually experienced that much anger.

481
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 4: So when did your time in Mexico come to a close?

482
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 5: I think I got kicked out. I was looking at

483
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,239
Speaker 5: my files the other day and I think I got

484
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 5: kicked out, But I know I didn't want to be there.

485
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 1: My brother stayed there.

486
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 5: Longer, and I want to say it's because he had

487
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 5: a girlfriend, but I came back.

488
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 1: I couldn't stay there anymore.

489
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 3: So how do you feel like your childhood prepared you

490
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 3: for this Marine Corps boot camp experience?

491
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 5: So that's where I can, you know, give a little

492
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 5: you know, pat on the back to the how conservative

493
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 5: Christian religious we were raised. I think a lot of

494
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 5: that discipline had a lot to do with it, because

495
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 5: we did we were disciplined. We got our asses whooped

496
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,719
Speaker 5: if we did something wrong. We were always obeying. If

497
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 5: we didn't obey, we knew we were going to get something.

498
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 5: The resiliency piece came from just the outdoor living. You

499
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,680
Speaker 5: know how we'd go hiking. Even when we moved away

500
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,479
Speaker 5: from that place, you know, we still I've always enjoyed

501
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 5: just being outdoors in the mountains. The mountains for me

502
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 5: are where it's at. Yeah, we had the beach half

503
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 5: an hour way, but for me, it was like, let

504
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 5: me go up to Palmer Observatory up in the mountains,

505
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 5: So I think that was the resiliency piece there that

506
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 5: like for me crawling through mud, artillery stuff going off

507
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 5: in the shooting.

508
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 1: That training they put.

509
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 5: You where you're going through the barbed wire and they

510
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 5: have this sound system with a you know, it was

511
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 5: more of an adventure. Yeah, it sucked, but it was

512
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 5: just like I'm going to do this. You know, I'm

513
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 5: low crawling through there, through the mud, getting dirty. I

514
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,920
Speaker 5: didn't care. It wasn't anything I wasn't used to running. Yeah,

515
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 5: you know, suck, but like, just get it over with.

516
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,199
Speaker 1: You're a lot more aerodynamic than I was.

517
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 2: It had to translate though, for you had to have

518
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 2: regard good batter and different from your childhood. You were

519
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 2: able to translate so much of the way you were

520
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 2: raised into that environment because it's so much the same.

521
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's that's why I don't know that I've

522
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 5: ever been resentful to a certain extent with certain things

523
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 5: I do question, like the religious piece, but as far

524
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 5: as how I was raised, it made me who I

525
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 5: am today. So for me to come down on my

526
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 5: mom or my stepdad or anything like that, you know,

527
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 5: I wouldn't do. I have questions for them, and some

528
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 5: sort of explanation, yes, but more so to have an

529
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 5: understanding as opposed to creating like this hostile like, Oh,

530
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 5: I'm so pissed at you guys for raising me this way.

531
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 5: It's at the point where I met in my life.

532
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 5: It doesn't have anything to do with that. Just that

533
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 5: is I'm here now because of the way that I

534
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 5: was raised. That's really what it comes down to, regardless

535
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 5: of all this.

536
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,400
Speaker 3: So you get through boot camp and then experience combat

537
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 3: through two deployments in Iraq. Tell us about your first deployment.

538
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 5: We flew into Kuwait. We are artillery, so we have

539
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 5: to tow our stuff everywhere. So we had to tow

540
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 5: our guns from Kuwait all the way up to Fallujah

541
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 5: and that was that was a joy. It was a

542
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 5: multi day convoy. There was one point where, you know,

543
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 5: we stopped and we were fueling up and providing security.

544
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 1: They made a group of us go up on this.

545
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 5: Berm and I remember the sergeant that was in charge

546
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 5: of our team. He did not like me at all.

547
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 5: He was an asshole to me. And you're telling me

548
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,000
Speaker 5: to do so, I'm going to do it, like I'm

549
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 5: not going to backlip you or anything. We go up,

550
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 5: we do the security call us back and as we're

551
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 5: coming down this berm, it's long filled before MSR mobile or.

552
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,199
Speaker 1: Whatever it was.

553
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 5: He gets a call over the colms and he's everybody stop,

554
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 5: you know, stop, they're telling him whatever.

555
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 1: He's like, Romero commune.

556
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 5: So I go over there and he's like, walk up

557
00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 5: to the trucks, watch your feet right, Like okay, you know,

558
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,199
Speaker 5: I'm thinking this guy's being an asshole. And to this day,

559
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 5: maybe maybe this whole thing was.

560
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: I don't know.

561
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,479
Speaker 5: I still don't know if it was true or not.

562
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 5: But in any case, they said there was mins lamb

563
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 5: mines in this open field because of the way that

564
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 5: he treated me. I was not looking at my feet.

565
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 5: I was dragging my feet through that and I heard

566
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 5: him everybody following Romero's footsteps, don't step anywhere he doesn't step,

567
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 5: And I did walk right through it up to the trucks,

568
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,879
Speaker 5: get there. The CEO comes over, you know, with the

569
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 5: battery gunny and they're like, hey, thank you Merrinaah okay,

570
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 5: and I'm like, yeah, you know, and I don't remember

571
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 5: how it came up, but something about my daughter and

572
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 5: my wife and battery gun He's like, you know, Sergeant

573
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 5: x y Z. You know, he's like the last time

574
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 5: that you have a married marine, do that, right. So

575
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 5: I don't know if it was a huge prank or what,

576
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 5: but I remember being extremely pissed about it after, not

577
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 5: even at the time, after, I was like, out there.

578
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: What an asshole.

579
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 5: It just made me hate him so much that I

580
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 5: could care less about like him telling me like I

581
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 5: thought he was messing with me. Like I seriously thought

582
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 5: this guy was just being an asshole to me. I

583
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 5: still to this day don't know if it was a

584
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 5: massive prank or not, but it just it was one

585
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 5: of those things where I.

586
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 1: Was like, okay, just go with it.

587
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 2: But do you think looking back now, knowing how many

588
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 2: I mean in the minds you're talking about that they

589
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 2: were probably Russian minds. I mean they were all over

590
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 2: the place, They're everywhere. Well, I mean it was just

591
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 2: stay in the tracks. It was one of the things

592
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 2: you always heard every single day. Stay in the tracks,

593
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 2: Stay in the tracks, Stay in the tracks, to the

594
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 2: point to where like you you were nervous without trying

595
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 2: to be nervous because of how much it was, like

596
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 2: it's such a big deal, and it's like, look at

597
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 2: some point you just get so tired, hungry, and there's

598
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 2: see an exhaustedge. You're like, I look, I don't care

599
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 2: if I deviate from the tracks for a little bit.

600
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 1: Oh well, like, who cares?

601
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 2: It's gonna And then I mean they weren't even talking

602
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 2: about the improvised explosive devices. These were Russian minds left

603
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 2: over by Russia that are all over that country.

604
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

605
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 5: Again, it was one of those things where it's like

606
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 5: I didn't take them seriously, so I just trudged it

607
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 5: right through.

608
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: That's one of those things where you know this why

609
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 2: the saying goes ignorance is bliss.

610
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad that you didn't trigger one, you didn't

611
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: trip one like that, being an MPT and that cool.

612
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 1: Yeah I believe that. Yeah.

613
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 5: Well, we are artillery, so as far as like us

614
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 5: being tight, I guess you could say it was a

615
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 5: different dynamic because in artillery you have your own guns.

616
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 1: So we have used six gun.

617
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 5: Paws, right Hautzer, Yeah, one, nine or eight at the

618
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 5: time she got switched out to a triple seven. But

619
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 5: your gun, your section, your gun section was extremely tight.

620
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 5: That group of seven, six people very very closely connected

621
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 5: with one another, everybody else will You don't really have

622
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 5: time to interact because you're on your own guns. I

623
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 5: think we were the first Alpha battery first pause, like

624
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 5: static pause in Fallujah to get set up and dug

625
00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 5: in that we shot out of. So we provided security

626
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 5: sixty security around the camp Fallujah, and so yeah, I

627
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 5: was really close with with my my section, with the

628
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 5: exception of our section chief. He didn't like me or Sanchez.

629
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: Either a different battles.

630
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 5: You know, I didn't care it just at the time,

631
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 5: it was like do this, do that, I'm going to

632
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 5: do it. What I do remember is in that static

633
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 5: pause we took income in mortar fire all the time,

634
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 5: not close, but over the months that we were there,

635
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,239
Speaker 5: they were walking it closer and closer to us.

636
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: You could tell.

637
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 5: One rocket did hit in front of our gun, gun six,

638
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 5: but it didn't. It was a dut It didn't blow up,

639
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 5: big tang. It was all twisted up in front of

640
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 5: but it didn't. It didn't blow up. But there was

641
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 5: time when we first got there, I'm talking fresh, we

642
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 5: had just planted. We just got our the one nine

643
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 5: erra planted. All the other guns were set up. We

644
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 5: had the three sixty going. So we were setting up

645
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 5: our space, you know. So we were digging our foxhole,

646
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 5: and I remember me and and my buddy. We were

647
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 5: standing and we were digging our foxhol This evening now

648
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 5: was pretty dark. Mortar had hit a fuel bladder in Camphallujah.

649
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 5: Because it just started getting really bright. We both stood

650
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 5: up and there's more mortar fire. It's like exploding. This

651
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 5: was a distance off. It wasn't like like danger near

652
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 5: or close. But the corporal comes and grabs both of us,

653
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 5: throws us in our house.

654
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: What are you guys doing? Get in your hole and.

655
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 5: We're like, you know, we're watching it like the fourth

656
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 5: of July. We had no clue. So yeah, that was interesting.

657
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 5: One of those other other things. It's like kind of

658
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 5: I guess ignorance. At the time, we're just like, well,

659
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 5: it doesn't register that we're in a combat zone kind

660
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 5: of like it did, but at that time it didn't.

661
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 5: It was weird, and I would consider us our first deployment.

662
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 5: We had it semi easy. Really, we were on a

663
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 5: static pause. They started moving us over a month's in

664
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 5: because obviously we had we were providing initial security when

665
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 5: we got there, all six guns. But then they moved

666
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 5: it to two guns at a time, so they put

667
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 5: us back on in the like they had little houses

668
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 5: like trailer kind of set up, so we had to

669
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 5: stay in these things. We get to go to the cafeteria,

670
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 5: the PX and stuff. So probably more like an O

671
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 5: three eleven job, like where you guys are constantly out there.

672
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: We sometimes had it easy.

673
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 5: We would be able to shower and stuff, but it

674
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 5: was still sucked, you know, with fire, and then we'd

675
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 5: have to go out and you know, do recon on whatever,

676
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 5: you know, whatever we did, and then they put us

677
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 5: on security for Fallujah, this little like little base that

678
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 5: they had before you went into Fallujah. Interestingly enough, I

679
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 5: believe it's where the army was doing their thing out

680
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 5: of there, and it's where people who probably got their

681
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 5: stuff destroyed by us would come and get money to

682
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 5: repair their stuff. So we were providing security there, which

683
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 5: is interesting.

684
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 2: Tell me about your second deployment and what it was

685
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 2: like transitioning back into civilian sector after those experiences.

686
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, so the second deployment was a lot more difficult

687
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 5: because we went as provisional rifle. We were no longer artillery.

688
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 5: We weren't doing our jobs. They give us the training

689
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 5: to do provisional rifle, but we were infantry at that point.

690
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 5: We were providing security for the border on Jordan and Syria.

691
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 5: So our platoon got split up, so a lot of

692
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 5: us were really close. You know, half of us ended

693
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 5: up on the Jordan side, half of us ended up

694
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 5: on the Syria and all on the Iraq side.

695
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 2: But like Georgia, I was about to say, like you

696
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 2: need to probably clarify that right now, the Iraq side,

697
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 2: but we were split up.

698
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: Be good.

699
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 2: I just want to, you know, because I mean that

700
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 2: just two Avoulden International incident.

701
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, no, yeah, we were on on Iraq side.

702
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 5: We're doing border security for those borders there people coming

703
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 5: in from Syria, people coming in from Jordan, so that

704
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 5: was a lot more difficult. That was where you know, I.

705
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: Think those boarders were very active. Yeah, we saw.

706
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 5: That's where I saw a lot of like the more

707
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 5: you know, things that we didn't see in our prior

708
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 5: But we were just shooting ship far away here.

709
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: Now we were in it.

710
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 5: You know, we were pulling people out of their houses,

711
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 5: doing sword searches, cording and searches, closing off highways, doing

712
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 5: searches on cars.

713
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: You're grunt, You're stuck in deployment, You're a grunt.

714
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, so that I think was a little more tense.

715
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 5: But that's when after coming back from that second deployment

716
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 5: more so did I remember in you know, conversing with

717
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 5: my buddies, I started to really feel the effect of

718
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 5: you know, didn't call it trauma at the time, or

719
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 5: PTS or anything at the time.

720
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: It was just I knew there.

721
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 5: Was something different about me to cope with that. I

722
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 5: was the only marine in our group that lived off base.

723
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 5: Every single weekend, everybody was at my house. Probably not

724
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 5: good for my marriage. I'm pretty sure that's probably why

725
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 5: we ended up splitting.

726
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 1: You get that close with people.

727
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 5: At least for me, it was very difficult to not

728
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 5: be with them anymore once you get back. In order

729
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 5: to continue having that, we'd all be at my house

730
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 5: and drinking, having a good time. You know, never really

731
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 5: did anything crazy on lawful or anything like that, but

732
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 5: it was just really us, you know, in the camaraderie

733
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 5: that we had. We just always wanted to be close.

734
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 5: Of course, your spouse doesn't understand that, so they want

735
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 5: to understand that you're back with them and their family

736
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:10,920
Speaker 5: unit I had a daughter at the time, and I

737
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 5: remember I have I have pictures of everything, like every

738
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 5: she got along with all of my buddies. She was

739
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 5: always there until she had to go down to bed.

740
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 5: I'd be making hot dogs. She'd come and just kind

741
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 5: of everybody just we'd goof around and so she wasn't

742
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 5: part of it. Like the drinking part that came usually after,

743
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 5: but that happened a lot, almost every weekend. It was

744
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,879
Speaker 5: almost every single weekend, I remember, and I think that

745
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 5: led more into the drinking on my own, you know

746
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,880
Speaker 5: where It wasn't just the weekend drinking with the buddies

747
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 5: until you puke. It was every evening you have to

748
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 5: drink something in order to feel okay.

749
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:44,280
Speaker 1: It continued.

750
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,399
Speaker 5: I went through a whole program in the Marine Corps.

751
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 5: I don't know if you know, but they offer a

752
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 5: program for people drinking. You go meet with the staff sergeant.

753
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 5: He makes you, he gives you, assigns you these tasks.

754
00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 5: You have to go to AA They give you a

755
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 5: certificate after saying that you're no longer an alcoholic.

756
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: I did.

757
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 2: I knew that they offered something, but I didn't I

758
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 2: know that like three quarters of my company should have

759
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 2: done whatever program is.

760
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I went through it.

761
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,879
Speaker 5: I don't know that it helped, but I did it

762
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 5: more so because they had made me a section chief.

763
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 5: I had picking up a meritorious corporal in my first deployment,

764
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 5: meritorious sergeant in the second deployment, and so now the

765
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 5: next step was section chief. I was an excellent marine.

766
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 5: I excelled at being a marine. I worked really hard.

767
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 5: But there was that drinking thing that was for me,

768
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 5: and you know it was I did it on my own.

769
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 5: Nobody told me I had to go do this. I

770
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 5: was like, hey, I think I have a problem with drinking.

771
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 5: I'm going to go do this was a section chief.

772
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 5: We went out, we did a training shooting and they

773
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 5: called a ceasefire.

774
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 1: To the rear.

775
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 5: The peace fall in on my gun and I was like, okay,

776
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 5: well we shot out. And when they called that, you

777
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 5: can't touch your knobs on the guns or anything. They

778
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 5: send people to investigate to see what angle and what.

779
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,959
Speaker 5: You know, we're all, you know, have my gun up front,

780
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 5: and and I'm already a wreck mentally, you know, not

781
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 5: enough that I would make some disastrous mistake. But you're

782
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 5: in Camp Penalton, you're like, our guns can certainly reach

783
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 5: to the surrounding cities.

784
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,800
Speaker 2: Now, what's the max Just to give the audience an idea,

785
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,240
Speaker 2: what's the max effective range?

786
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 5: Thirty kilometers I think on a nature round. Okay, so

787
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 5: fifteen sixteen miles long. Yeah, and so you know, they

788
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,280
Speaker 5: go check it out. And at that point I checked

789
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 5: out in my brain, Like I checked out. I was like, Okay,

790
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 5: turns out I didn't shoot out. It was another another

791
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 5: battery up over some other hill. They ended up they

792
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,720
Speaker 5: were the ones that shot out, and I was kicking

793
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,440
Speaker 5: myself in the ass about it, but it was still

794
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,879
Speaker 5: some mental thing that checked out for me. After that

795
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 5: training being out in the field that got back. I

796
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 5: went in and I told battery gun. I was like,

797
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 5: I can't continue doing this. I don't want to be

798
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 5: Section chief anymore. I'm you know, I'm not being a pussy.

799
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 5: I guess you could say, right, because that's the stigma.

800
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 5: If there's something wrong with your mind, you're a little

801
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 5: bitch yep. But I was very honest about it. I

802
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 5: was like, there's something going on. I don't know what

803
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 5: it is. And they were to a certain extent understanding

804
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 5: about it. Really now that I think about it.

805
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:05,360
Speaker 1: You know.

806
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 5: I went and I talked with the psychologist, but they

807
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 5: were going to put me on a very low dosage

808
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 5: of something right, and so an opportunity to go out

809
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 5: to Horno on the range presented itself. Go figure this

810
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 5: guy that thinks he may have a mental issue, it.

811
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 1: Was, find another spot for him.

812
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, at the range with a one hundred target man

813
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 5: front and you're going to be one of the range

814
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 5: person all over there. Any case, it wasn't. It wasn't

815
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 5: to that extent. I didn't feel psychotic or anything like that.

816
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 5: It was just something different about me was happening. But

817
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 5: I really loved working at the range.

818
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: It was. It was an awesome job.

819
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 5: That was close to the point where I was due

820
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 5: for reenlistment or time to get out.

821
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: I had gotten my paperwork.

822
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 5: I was in line to be promoted for staffsh sergeant

823
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 5: if I stayed in. But my spouse at the time

824
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 5: was willing to work on the relationship if I got out.

825
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 5: I don't think she was now I think about it,

826
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,200
Speaker 5: and I'm to blame too. There was, you know, some

827
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 5: infidelity stuff that we were working through, but I did.

828
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 5: I got out to save my relationship. Mostly because I

829
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 5: didn't want to lose my daughter. And it all happened anyways,

830
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 5: I got out, and you know, it wasn't long after

831
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 5: that we ended up separating and divorcing, and so my

832
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 5: daughter I got to see her often at the beginning,

833
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 5: but the individual that she met, this guy she was with,

834
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 5: they ended up getting married and moving very far away

835
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 5: with good three hour drive, and so that was extremely

836
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,320
Speaker 5: difficult for me because I no longer had my daughter

837
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 5: and felt like a lot of this was my fault

838
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 5: because of you know, stupid decisions that I had.

839
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 3: Made during this time. What was your relationship like with

840
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 3: your twin brother, Francisco.

841
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 5: So this is a difficult period in my life, and

842
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 5: I'm sure it was difficult for him to see his

843
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 5: brother in the state that he was. Wasn't the same happy,

844
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,439
Speaker 5: go lucky guy that he was before he joined them course,

845
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 5: so I know it was a difficult transition for him

846
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 5: for my family. I remember there was one night I

847
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 5: had been extremely intoxicated. I want to say I don't

848
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 5: I don't know that he was drinking, but I was

849
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 5: for sure, and I was down in the kitchen and

850
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 5: it all blew up that night. I think as a

851
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 5: matter of fact, now I think about it, I think

852
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 5: my mom was living with us at the time too,

853
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 5: and so there was the clan match. You know, she

854
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 5: was there, he was there. They were blaming me for

855
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 5: some stuff that was happening, and you know, I was

856
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 5: extremely frustrated and visibly angry. I remember to the point

857
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 5: where my brother was frightened and he pulled a knife

858
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,439
Speaker 5: out of a carving block knife thing, and I don't

859
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 5: know if it was the Marine Corps instinct, but it

860
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 5: automatically kicked in and I slapped it out of his hand,

861
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 5: and I remember his face. He was extremely surprised that

862
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 5: that had happened so quickly, that he had drawn a

863
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 5: weapon and it had been you know, had and I

864
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 5: think a lot of it had to do it, like

865
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 5: he was scared that, like I had injured myself or

866
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 5: cut myself on this blade. So I remember that it

867
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 5: wasn't a fun night, you know. After the healing and

868
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,360
Speaker 5: all of that, you know, there was a lot of friction,

869
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 5: I guess the best way to say it, for a

870
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 5: while because of the whole family dynamic thing. It didn't

871
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 5: last long, of course, but there was a point where

872
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 5: my mental health had really affected my relationship with my brother,

873
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 5: and so I had to live with that, and the

874
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 5: drinking just kept getting worse and worse. Ended up meeting,

875
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 5: you know, in a couple of relationships, but ended up

876
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 5: meeting one girl a lot younger than me as far

877
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 5: as maturity too, and we ended up getting married. She

878
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 5: had her things as far as being young and wanting

879
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:36,240
Speaker 5: to still live. Whereas I was, you know, in my thirties,

880
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 5: she was mid younger twenties, twenty two twenty three at

881
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 5: the time, I think, And so I don't know that

882
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 5: she would have not cheated on me if I had,

883
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 5: you know, because there was a lot going on with me,

884
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 5: just a lot with the drinking, the depression. What I

885
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 5: didn't know was PTS at the time, but was you know,

886
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 5: certainly presenting itself. We'd bought a house together, but the

887
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 5: drinking was really bad. Our relationship Chip was very a

888
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 5: lot of turmoil. Never any physical abuse, but a lot

889
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 5: of you know, mental psychological stude soxic. Yeah, and I

890
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 5: know it was hard for her for sure. This is

891
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 5: when I hit rock bottom.

892
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 1: Was this whole.

893
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:15,919
Speaker 5: I wasn't really aware of her cheating at the time,

894
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 5: but I was a mess. And then we had separated.

895
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 5: She said, well, I just need my space. I'll stay

896
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 5: in the house. Okay, I'll go find something else. I

897
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 5: ended up coming back to my house and caught her

898
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 5: with this guy in my house. That was really like

899
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 5: the rock bottom for me. I had gone out on

900
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 5: a motorcycle ride up in Pelamar Mountain, very curvey roads

901
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 5: back there. We were headed up the back route to Julian.

902
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 5: I was lead coming around a really tight corner that

903
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 5: I completely figured out about.

904
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 1: I'd been up this way before.

905
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 5: Ended up, you know, trying to figure out how to correct,

906
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 5: ended up in the wrong side of the road, and

907
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 5: there was a car coming and head on with this

908
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 5: vehicle threw me off my bike. My buddy in back

909
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,879
Speaker 5: of me was filming it on go Bro. He won't

910
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 5: show he'd never showed me the video. He wouldn't showed

911
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 5: me the video, he says it's too graphic. And I

912
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 5: was in the hospital and this was a god moment

913
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:07,359
Speaker 5: for me. One more foot to the left, I would

914
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 5: have been inside the car for sure, Like I hit

915
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 5: the front driver's side corner and got launched out into

916
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 5: the road.

917
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: But it could have been a lot worse. Are you so? Yeah?

918
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 5: I was sober. I was sober, but I was I was.

919
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,760
Speaker 5: I think I was probably being reckless. I would probably

920
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 5: going too too fast, if you know, thinking back on it,

921
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 5: I don't. Suicidal ideation is hard to to identify in

922
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 5: the past, right. I can identify it now, you know,

923
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,280
Speaker 5: as a as a thing. When I'm talking to individuals

924
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 5: and experiencing, you know, suicidal ideation or thoughts, you can

925
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 5: identify it. I can't look back on my life and

926
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 5: think that, like, oh, maybe that was you know, intentional

927
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 5: as far as you know, some form of ideation of

928
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 5: not being around anymore. Right, the recklessness driving on your

929
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,320
Speaker 5: bike too fast, there was probably some of that going

930
00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:00,080
Speaker 5: on in my mind. I can't pinpoint it. But it

931
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 5: was a god moment. I was in the hospital. I

932
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 5: had ready known that my wife was cheating on me.

933
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:06,879
Speaker 5: She didn't come see me, her sister and her mom

934
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 5: came out, and so after I got out, they told

935
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 5: me I had to spend a month in bed, and

936
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 5: I did. And this was really my time to connect

937
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 5: with God. It's when I started seeking help, mental health,

938
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 5: professional help, and really started getting things on track. But

939
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 5: I stopped drinking cult turking like nothing, and that lasted

940
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 5: quite a long time, and things just started connecting for me.

941
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 5: At that point, I had been working this job. They

942
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,359
Speaker 5: were actually very gracious about giving me the time off

943
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 5: for my accident.

944
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 1: But I hated it. I hated the job it was.

945
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 5: It was fine because it paid the bills. I didn't

946
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 5: mind like working, right. It just took me a really

947
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 5: long time to realize that finance like banking was not

948
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,839
Speaker 5: my world. I don't mean I hate like, I just

949
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 5: it wasn't my world. So it took a really long

950
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 5: to eight eight years or something like that. And so

951
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,319
Speaker 5: after the divorce and all of that is when I

952
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 5: started talking to my now wife, Yay, who was living

953
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 5: in Texas. We had, as I had mentioned before, we

954
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,879
Speaker 5: had gone to school together, and as a matter of fact,

955
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 5: before that ninth tenth, eleventh grade, we actually had gone

956
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 5: to middle school, like second or third grade together years ago,

957
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 5: and so known each other for a very long time.

958
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 5: We started talking, and you know, she had always had

959
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 5: a huge crush and she'd admitted, but she wasn't wanting

960
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:34,520
Speaker 5: to come back. She had come out to Texas when

961
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,800
Speaker 5: she was like eighteen, she'd been here forever. I wasn't

962
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:41,439
Speaker 5: really enjoying my job, and so obviously the right move

963
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 5: was going to be me coming out to Texas, not

964
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 5: her coming to Californ. We talked about it, but she

965
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 5: was a school teacher. She was very you know, she

966
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 5: had her shit together, you know, good head on her shoulders.

967
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 5: She'd fly over here, I'd fly over you know, or

968
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,399
Speaker 5: vice versa. Right, And so I came out here with

969
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 5: no clue what I was going to do. I had

970
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 5: a lot of my credits already, and I was studying

971
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 5: for international business. I needed one more class to graduate

972
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 5: with my international business degree. But I went in and

973
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 5: I talked to the veteran counselor or whatever the at TCC,

974
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,439
Speaker 5: this community college, and I was like, here's the deal.

975
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 5: This is what I want to do. I want to

976
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 5: help people. How can I help people? And she and

977
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 5: I told her, I said, I think I'd love I'd

978
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 5: love to do, you know, teach. I would love to

979
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 5: be a teacher. Not the younger grades, maybe high school

980
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,720
Speaker 5: or something, you know, where the minds are a little

981
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 5: more mouldible. And she's like, well, have you ever thought

982
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 5: of social work? And I was like, oh, the guys

983
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 5: that work in hospitals, right, I get so much more

984
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 5: than that. There's so many different things that you can

985
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 5: do with a social work degree. Started talking and she

986
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 5: brought up veterans working with veterans, and I was like,

987
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 5: I'm in I tell this people all the time. Yeah,

988
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 5: it sounds cliche, but I'm I'm working my dream job.

989
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 5: It's not easy, it's challenging, af but it's rewarding to

990
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 5: know that you're working for something that's saving lives.

991
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: I think that's.

992
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 5: Really what it boils down to.

993
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,399
Speaker 1: At the end of the day.

994
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 5: There's going to be challenges, but that resiliency that we've

995
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 5: built and built over our lives, it's really coming into

996
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 5: play because it's not easy leading.

997
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,359
Speaker 1: I think it's to a certain extent, it.

998
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 5: Does take a toll. It's taxing, but is it worth it.

999
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 5: Absolutely it is. To be able to be a part of,

1000
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,800
Speaker 5: you know, making a change in mental health and breaking

1001
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 5: stigmas and helping our first responders and our heroes out there,

1002
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 5: it's just an amazing feeling.

1003
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,240
Speaker 2: It's one of the reasons that I believe you're exactly

1004
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,759
Speaker 2: where you're supposed to be. I believe that you're a

1005
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 2: gift to humanity, and it has everything to do with

1006
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 2: the scars you can't see, you know. I mean that's

1007
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,760
Speaker 2: why I think, even though you're a self proclaimed introvert

1008
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 2: and that you're a gamer and you build your oll

1009
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 2: computers and crap like it's you're exactly where you're supposed

1010
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 2: to be. And everything's happened is and we've talked at

1011
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 2: length about this. Everything's happened exactly the way it's supposed

1012
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 2: to happen. And you know, I'm just I'm honored to

1013
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 2: do this alongside you. Thank you so so actually, and

1014
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 2: our fortunate not to get to work with you and

1015
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 2: Francisco and we see it. But for the people listening,

1016
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 2: what's your relationship with your with your brother and your mom?

1017
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: Now, it's good.

1018
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:16,919
Speaker 5: With my brother. I don't know that there's a day

1019
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 5: that we don't talk to each other, not just because

1020
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 5: he works here, even outside of work, but we're always

1021
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 5: texting back and forth. You know, we we're tight, We're

1022
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 5: really close. As a matter of fact, it didn't take

1023
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 5: him but a year and a half maybe two years

1024
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 5: to leave California and come to Texas after I came

1025
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 5: to Texas. So just see, you know, to explain the

1026
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 5: gravity of our relationship and how close we are.

1027
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: That's that's what happened.

1028
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 5: Is his spouse now jokes about it and she's like,

1029
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 5: I knew it, Like I knew that as soon as

1030
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 5: as soon as Lucky in Mo he's gonna leave, He's

1031
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,160
Speaker 5: gonna leave too, So to be expected, we're really close.

1032
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:51,359
Speaker 5: I me and my brother have an amazing relationship.

1033
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 1: He's helped out a lot.

1034
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, my mom's always been an amazing woman. Granted, I

1035
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 5: think she was pulled into something a lot further into

1036
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,399
Speaker 5: something because of her past and what she needed out

1037
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 5: of this religion that I don't know that it was

1038
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 5: ever in a vindictive type way, sending us down to

1039
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 5: Mexico or I think it was really what she knew

1040
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 5: at the time was going to be the best for us.

1041
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 5: She's always taken care of us and still that working

1042
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 5: spirit in us. So she's an amazing woman. We're close.

1043
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:20,360
Speaker 5: She's still back in California. I haven't I need to

1044
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 5: go visit her, but you know, we're close because of

1045
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 5: some of the stuff that she'd been through. I know

1046
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 5: there's been some challenges that she's faced and struggles that

1047
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 5: she had, but we talk often as well. As a

1048
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 5: matter of fact, I think she's talking about a move

1049
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 5: out to Texas, which would be great. I'd love to

1050
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 5: have her here. But we're good, weird good, Okay.

1051
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 4: So why can we ask every guest three questions? The

1052
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 4: first being.

1053
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:48,320
Speaker 3: Looking back on your life's journey, is there a person

1054
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 3: or an organization that's really made an impact on you?

1055
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,720
Speaker 5: That's a tough question. I don't know how to answer that, honestly.

1056
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 5: If we're calling it an organization, the Marine Corps, for sure,

1057
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 5: that's at one of the biggest impacts of my life.

1058
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 5: I don't think it defines my life being a marine,

1059
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 5: it's certainly a big part of it. An old pastor

1060
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 5: that I had, ironically, was very supportive, I guess you

1061
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 5: could say, of everything, because he married me, he did

1062
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 5: our wedding, and then he was who I went to

1063
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,840
Speaker 5: when I was talking about our divorce. So I think

1064
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 5: when I associate that religion, he was a pastor of

1065
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 5: this religion. To his complete non judgmental attitude about everything

1066
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,280
Speaker 5: in my life, I think he was probably pretty pivotal

1067
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 5: as far as that's concerned, ironically, because religion. Yeah, so yeah,

1068
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 5: my daughter, for sure. I think if there's anything that

1069
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 5: I can draw a ton of inspiration from it's just

1070
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 5: the love that I have for her and what i'd

1071
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 5: like to say, and that the love that she has

1072
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 5: for me, because we have a really good relationship.

1073
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 4: So it's amazing.

1074
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 1: What do you do?

1075
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:58,760
Speaker 2: I already know it's not enough of and I'm guilty

1076
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 2: as charge as well. You know I've been on each

1077
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 2: other boat for quite some time. But the second question,

1078
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 2: I just I'm going to own the accountability.

1079
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 1: You got to own it. What do you do to

1080
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: recharge and relax?

1081
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 5: What do I do to recharge or what do I

1082
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 5: wish I could do to charge and relax? Are two

1083
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 5: different things? Yeah, either or So for me, it's nature.

1084
00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 5: I really love being out in the mountains. Of course

1085
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 5: in Texas, you don't see many of those out here,

1086
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 5: so that part's difficult, so hiking or whatever I can

1087
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:29,360
Speaker 5: do here. The other big one is gaming. Of course,

1088
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 5: should be no joke to anyone out there. I'm a

1089
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 5: huge gamer. That's really something that I can do. That

1090
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 5: is kind of a way for me to get out

1091
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 5: of my mind sometimes get myself into another world or

1092
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 5: whatever the case is. I'm a huge rem player World

1093
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 5: of Warcraft, Final Fantasy Online and first time ever in

1094
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 5: my life. This past weekend, I actually was able to

1095
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,960
Speaker 5: enjoy my first Dungeon and Dragon session with the group

1096
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 5: that we finally were able to get together for this.

1097
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:58,320
Speaker 5: So I'd been wanting to get into it for a while.

1098
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 5: I just we've never had the people that do it.

1099
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 5: I met somebody not too long ago via my wife

1100
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 5: who was a big fan of the game, and he

1101
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 5: was like, oh, we should totally. I built this whole

1102
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:11,719
Speaker 5: game table around it. I'll show you a picture later,

1103
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 5: but we actually got to play on it last night

1104
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 5: for our first ever Dungeons and Dragon session.

1105
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 1: Was amazing.

1106
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:17,680
Speaker 5: I had a whole bunch of fun.

1107
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 2: And you've opened up my eyes, our eyes, yes to

1108
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,320
Speaker 2: there's even a therapeutic element that comes into play with it,

1109
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,720
Speaker 2: so much so that we're developing a gaming program.

1110
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 4: That's right with one tri foundation.

1111
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 5: Surely I believe that strongly in it, that yeah, that

1112
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 5: there is a therapeutic component to gaming and not just

1113
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 5: sitting in front of a computer, but you know, getting

1114
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 5: around a table with your friends and with your family.

1115
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,240
Speaker 5: It's part of that holistic mental health care that people

1116
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 5: need out there. That maybe it's tailored to you so right,

1117
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 5: and I know it's tailored to me.

1118
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 4: So our final question is what feeds your soul?

1119
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,319
Speaker 5: Good people feed my soul. Being around people who are

1120
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 5: as passionate as I am feeds my soul. Being able

1121
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,800
Speaker 5: to help people and being able to watch the transition

1122
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 5: in people is amazing for me. And on top of everything,

1123
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 5: my relationship with God. I'm not going to bring up

1124
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 5: the whole religious piece. It is the spiritual relationship that

1125
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 5: I have with a non judgmental God that knows that

1126
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 5: I mess up on the daily but still you know,

1127
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,839
Speaker 5: understanding that I do my best to be a good

1128
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 5: person and he knows that if it's not enough and

1129
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 5: I don't, you know, get to be with him, well

1130
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 5: maybe God isn't for me then, But I choose to

1131
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:32,319
Speaker 5: not believe that.

1132
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 1: I choose to believe.

1133
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 5: That my relationship with God is really something that is

1134
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:38,880
Speaker 5: important for me. I maybe it's not for everybody, but

1135
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 5: it is for me. It helps me wake up in

1136
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,839
Speaker 5: the morning and it helps me sleep at ease at night.

1137
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 3: So well, Keene Rameira, thank you so much for being

1138
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 3: on the good stuff. You truly inspire us on the

1139
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 3: daily basis, and we're just we're grateful to call you

1140
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 3: brother and friend.

1141
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1142
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 2: I know that you know because I've told you, but

1143
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: so the listeners know you've been there for me in

1144
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 2: a way that most people can't. And I'm very, very

1145
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 2: grateful for that, appreciated and it's something that you know

1146
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 2: and that you know I don't take lightly. You truly,

1147
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 2: in every sense of the phrase, have.

1148
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: Made me a better human.

1149
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 2: So thank you, bro, and thanks for taking time out

1150
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 2: of our work schedule for you to do this.

1151
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 4: Absolutely, absolutely, that's the good stuff.

1152
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1153
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 2: Because of the scars of this man in the victory,

1154
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:40,360
Speaker 2: he finds in his vulnerability he is able to empower

1155
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 2: people to live healthy, well lived lives.

1156
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:49,360
Speaker 3: Absolutely from his rough beginnings too, now he is just

1157
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 3: leading the charge and helping people on the daily basis.

1158
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 2: He's absolutely channeled his pain into power and now it's

1159
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:59,919
Speaker 2: affecting in a great way in the best way. Pop

1160
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 2: School the borders well outside this great state of Texas.

1161
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for listening.

1162
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 3: If this episode touched you today, please share it and

1163
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 3: be part of making someone else's day better.

1164
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:12,919
Speaker 1: Put on your bad ass caves and go be great today.

1165
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:16,880
Speaker 2: And remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.

1166
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. To the good Stuff. The Good

1167
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,919
Speaker 2: Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Schick, Jacob Schick, Leah

1168
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 2: Pictures and q Code Media, Hosted.

1169
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:35,280
Speaker 1: By Ashley Shick and Jacob Shick, Produced by Nick.

1170
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 2: Cassolini and Ryan Countzouse Post production Supervisor Will Tindy. Music

1171
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:45,759
Speaker 2: editing by Will Haywood Smith, edited by Mike Robinson.