Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, it's Eric here with a mini episode, and
Speaker 1: I want to talk about fear because it is something
Speaker 1: that we are all dealing with right now. Right it's
Speaker 1: probably the only thing that's more contagious than the coronavirus
Speaker 1: right now is our fear around it. And I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say whether that fear is justified, how afraid
Speaker 1: we should be. I'm not going to say whether the
Speaker 1: way that we're responding as a country or as a
Speaker 1: society is the right way, because those questions are way
Speaker 1: beyond my pay grade. And I don't think any of
Speaker 1: us know right now. But here's what I do know.
Speaker 1: Fear will corrode us from the inside out if we're
Speaker 1: not careful. I also know that our mental, emotional, and
Speaker 1: physical health are really important in times like these in
Speaker 1: dealing with crises, So it's important that we find ways
Speaker 1: to allow the fear to be there, allow ourselves to
Speaker 1: stay informed about what's going on out there, but also
Speaker 1: not let the fee year and the agitation control us
Speaker 1: take us over, because that wears this out. It wears
Speaker 1: us out mentally, emotionally, ultimately physically, and that does not
Speaker 1: help us or the loved ones around us in our
Speaker 1: communities that depend upon us. So we've got to find
Speaker 1: a way to engage with this in a skillful, useful way.
Speaker 1: We've got to find a way to feed our good
Speaker 1: wolf when it comes to dealing with this circumstance. And
Speaker 1: that's kind of what I'd like to spend just a
Speaker 1: couple of minutes talking about in this short episode. Several
Speaker 1: different ideas came to mind for me when I started
Speaker 1: working on thinking about wanting to say something brief here
Speaker 1: about all this, and and the first that came to
Speaker 1: mind was the author Mark Nepo, who we interviewed recently.
Speaker 1: That episode will be coming out, but um, he and
Speaker 1: I were talking and he had a line that really
Speaker 1: stuck with me that said, we've become addicted to the
Speaker 1: noise of things falling apart. And he actually that line
Speaker 1: was written outside of this context, but in this context
Speaker 1: it makes a lot of sense. We are very much
Speaker 1: addicted to the noise of things falling apart in general,
Speaker 1: and in this particular circumstance. Many of us are addicted
Speaker 1: to watching what's happened. I find myself turning to Twitter
Speaker 1: and the news way way way more than I normally do.
Speaker 1: And again, some of that is good, but a lot
Speaker 1: of it's not. And what I am is I noticed
Speaker 1: myself sort of becoming addicted to the news cycle, to
Speaker 1: the spin, to the speed, to the urgency, to the
Speaker 1: whole thing, and that I can tell isn't good for
Speaker 1: my insides. You know the other thing that he said
Speaker 1: about this, we become addicted to the noise of things
Speaker 1: falling apart. And I love this, he said, but things
Speaker 1: are also always coming together. Things are always falling apart,
Speaker 1: that's the nature of things. But things are also always
Speaker 1: coming together. It's just that those coming together moments are
Speaker 1: a lot more quiet, and we have to actually make
Speaker 1: a point of turning towards them, of turning towards something deeper.
Speaker 1: And that's really I think the first pointer I would
Speaker 1: give here is that what we want to do is
Speaker 1: we want to continue to turn towards what's deeper in us,
Speaker 1: what's deeper in our spiritual practice, what's deeper in our
Speaker 1: personal practice, what's deeper in our lives. Right, a lot
Speaker 1: of us are getting time to spend more time with
Speaker 1: the people in our lives that we love than we
Speaker 1: normally do. And we could look at this as a
Speaker 1: burden and for a lot of us. It's a surprise
Speaker 1: and it's a change, But this is also an opportunity
Speaker 1: to have the people we love closer to us, to
Speaker 1: spend more time with them and more care on them.
Speaker 1: And so how can we find a way to nurture that,
Speaker 1: enjoy that, and appreciate that in any sort of crisis,
Speaker 1: there's the there's the classic. I don't even know if
Speaker 1: it's true that the Chinese character for crisis is opportunity.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's true or not right, But
Speaker 1: in any situation there are opportunities, and there are opportunities
Speaker 1: in this situation, and one of the most obvious is
Speaker 1: the time that we can spend together that we don't
Speaker 1: normally have the chance to perhaps slow down just a
Speaker 1: little it and spend a little bit more time together.
Speaker 1: So that's one pointer, but in general, to turn more
Speaker 1: towards those deeper, underlying parts of life that are coming together,
Speaker 1: that are beautiful and wonderful, that simply don't get our
Speaker 1: attention because the clamoring noise of everything falling apart shuns
Speaker 1: them out. Where can we turn to those more in
Speaker 1: this time? The other idea that I think is really
Speaker 1: important is we had the guest Lynda Graham on the show,
Speaker 1: and she talks about resilience a lot, and one of
Speaker 1: the things that she says is how you respond to
Speaker 1: the issue is the issue. So for us, how we
Speaker 1: respond to what's happening right now is the issue for
Speaker 1: each of us personally, our individual response is the most
Speaker 1: pressing issue for each of us, right And this gets
Speaker 1: to where we put in our attention, what are we
Speaker 1: paying attention to? And so it made me also think
Speaker 1: of Stephen Covey's idea of the circle of influence versus
Speaker 1: the circle of concern and what Covey basical He says,
Speaker 1: and you have to imagine two circles. There's a big
Speaker 1: circle that's our circle of concern, and then inside of
Speaker 1: it is a smaller circle which is our circle of influence,
Speaker 1: circle of concern or all the things that we care
Speaker 1: about that we worry about. Right So, the news, the coronavirus,
Speaker 1: or the response to it, all of that, that all
Speaker 1: falls in the circle of concern, and we do need
Speaker 1: to be concerned and we do need to spend a
Speaker 1: little bit of time there. But the smaller circles our
Speaker 1: circle of influence. This is what we can actually do
Speaker 1: something about right, And what Covey says is the more
Speaker 1: time we spend in our circle of concern but not
Speaker 1: inside our circle of influence, our circle of influence actually shrinks.
Speaker 1: And conversely, the more time we spend in our circle
Speaker 1: of influence, the larger it grows. And so in this case,
Speaker 1: I think it's really worth looking at where are we
Speaker 1: spending our time. If we're spending all our time engaging
Speaker 1: in the news and the crisis beyond what's instructive or helpful,
Speaker 1: then we're in our circle of concern. And again I'm
Speaker 1: not here to tell you how much that is. You
Speaker 1: have to find out for yourself. But I think that
Speaker 1: idea of how much of this is instructive and how
Speaker 1: much of is it helpful, those are useful ways of saying, Okay,
Speaker 1: I've got what I need from there, now let me
Speaker 1: move back into my circle of influence. Right, and in
Speaker 1: the circle of influence are all the ways that we
Speaker 1: can take care of ourselves and take care of our
Speaker 1: loved ones. Really, our mental, physical, and emotional health is
Speaker 1: really important. So the fundamentals of self care here are
Speaker 1: very valuable. Are we eating healthily? Are we getting a
Speaker 1: good night's sleep. Are we exercising, are we meditating? Are
Speaker 1: we seeking wisdom from sources that we trust and know?
Speaker 1: So when we do that, we're strengthening the pillars that
Speaker 1: will see us through this storm. And the other thing
Speaker 1: is that fear has an energy to it, right, and
Speaker 1: so by taking positive action, we actually channel that energy
Speaker 1: into productive direction instead of allowing it to sort of
Speaker 1: twist us up inside. And so I want to just
Speaker 1: give a couple of short practices that I think might
Speaker 1: help us in this time. And so one thing that's
Speaker 1: important to know, I think is that fear is fed
Speaker 1: by our thoughts, but we feel it in our bodies right,
Speaker 1: And so what we want to do is it can
Speaker 1: be helpful to drop down out of the thinking mind
Speaker 1: into our feeling senses. It's a way of allowing that
Speaker 1: fear to work with it directly and a little bit
Speaker 1: more skillfully. And so there are two practices that I'd
Speaker 1: like to bring forth for you to contemplate. And the
Speaker 1: first is from another recent podcast episode with the guest
Speaker 1: Fleet Mall, who introduced us to the practice of straw breathing.
Speaker 1: And straw breathing is just a type of breathing. One
Speaker 1: thing that we know is that when our excelation is
Speaker 1: longer than our inhalation, it tends to stimulate our parasympathetic
Speaker 1: nervous system and that becomes a signal to our brain
Speaker 1: that we're not in a fight or flight or freeze
Speaker 1: state of danger and our limbic system can relax. So
Speaker 1: any type of breathing that is going to allow the
Speaker 1: exhalation to be longer than our inhalation is going to
Speaker 1: help in this. And straw breathing is just a type
Speaker 1: of breathing of doing that, and in essence, you can
Speaker 1: practice it with or without a straw. If you have
Speaker 1: a straw, it's great, But the idea is you breathe
Speaker 1: in normally and then you exhale in a slow, controlled
Speaker 1: manner as if you're breathing through a straw. You can
Speaker 1: play with different counting, So for example, I might do
Speaker 1: an in breath of four, hold for eight, outbreath of
Speaker 1: twelve through the straw, or in breath of four, hold
Speaker 1: for four outbreath of eight. Right there, just different. You've
Speaker 1: got to find the pattern that sort of works for you.
Speaker 1: There isn't a one size fits all, particularly because everybody
Speaker 1: has different capabilities and breathing, but you want your outbreath
Speaker 1: to be longer than you're in breath is the basics
Speaker 1: of it. And by doing it slowly, rhythmically counting it
Speaker 1: and breathing out through the purse lips like of a straw,
Speaker 1: it helps to slow our fear response. It helps us
Speaker 1: to relax. So I'd encourage you to try some strawberreathing
Speaker 1: or other ways of deep breathing. It's a very good
Speaker 1: fear response. The thing about it is most of us
Speaker 1: tend to try it when we're really highly stimulated and
Speaker 1: we're like, all right, I'll take a couple of deep
Speaker 1: breaths and the world doesn't change overnight from taking too
Speaker 1: deep breaths and we abandon the practice. So this is
Speaker 1: a practice that you can do over time, and we
Speaker 1: actually get better at doing the more we do it,
Speaker 1: So I'd encourage you to just work it in. I've
Speaker 1: started doing this strawberreathing at the beginning of my meditation
Speaker 1: practice because what I find it does, it actually settles
Speaker 1: me down in general. And so I might do uh twenty,
Speaker 1: say uh cycles of that, breathing in for four, holding
Speaker 1: for eight out for twelve, I might do twenty cycles,
Speaker 1: so that before I drop into meditation again. It's just
Speaker 1: a way of engaging our parasympathetic nervous system and turning
Speaker 1: down the fear response. And then the other is a
Speaker 1: on the spot spiritual habit that you can turn to
Speaker 1: when you feel fear taking hold. So this won't make
Speaker 1: the fear disappear, but it will open up some more
Speaker 1: space inside of you so that you're not as possessed
Speaker 1: by the fear. So one of the things that all
Speaker 1: these spiritual habits have in common is they have a
Speaker 1: trigger or something that prompts you to practice them. And
Speaker 1: the trigger for this is just to notice that you're
Speaker 1: caught in the trance of fear or the grip of fear,
Speaker 1: or you're locked in fearful ruminating thoughts. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: lead us through this practice. It's going to be a
Speaker 1: very short, just a couple minute sort of guided practice
Speaker 1: that I'm going to lead you through here. So just
Speaker 1: take a moment and settle in and close your eyes
Speaker 1: and just pause and notice and name the fear you're experiencing.
Speaker 1: You can just say I'm feeling fear right now, or
Speaker 1: you can name it more specifically you want, but let's
Speaker 1: pause and just notice and name the fear work experience
Speaker 1: in here for just a moment or two. Now, place
Speaker 1: a hand on your belly and breathe into your hand
Speaker 1: so that your belly expands. So you're breathing in, you're
Speaker 1: feeling your belly expand, and now slowly exhale, and as
Speaker 1: you do, just sense your body and mind letting go
Speaker 1: of tension and fear. Just notice any lessoning of that
Speaker 1: that occurs. It might be dramatic, it might be very little.
Speaker 1: But again, just as you exhale, sense yourself sort of
Speaker 1: letting go a little bit. And let's do a couple
Speaker 1: of rounds of this. So keep your hand on your
Speaker 1: belly and breathe into your hands so that your belly expands,
Speaker 1: and then slowly exhale and sense your body and mind
Speaker 1: letting go of tension and fear. As you do that,
Speaker 1: I'll let you do just a couple more rounds of
Speaker 1: that at your own pace. Now move your attention to
Speaker 1: feel where your feet touch the ground or if you're sitting,
Speaker 1: where your seat meets the chair, and feel supported by
Speaker 1: the earth beneath you, and just keep your attention there
Speaker 1: for another moment or two. Wherever you are ground in
Speaker 1: yourself with your feet or your body, feel the connection
Speaker 1: you're making with the world beneath it. And now since
Speaker 1: where you feel any tension or tightness in your body,
Speaker 1: and gently see if you can relax a bit in
Speaker 1: those areas, letting go and breathing into them. So what
Speaker 1: you want to do is notice an area of tension
Speaker 1: as you breathe in, sort of imagine that area, the
Speaker 1: breath is going to it, and you can almost on
Speaker 1: the in breath imagine just the gripping just a little bit,
Speaker 1: and then on the outbreath you just let go, just
Speaker 1: let the tension and everything drain out of that area.
Speaker 1: So I'll give you just a couple of moments to
Speaker 1: do that with a couple of different areas in your body.
Speaker 1: And now, finally, let's just take a moment and rest
Speaker 1: in this state of presence, in direct contact with that
Speaker 1: which is here right now versus being lost in the
Speaker 1: imagined future. And since what's opened up inside of you
Speaker 1: giving you some space between you and the fear that
Speaker 1: you're feeling. So that was just a very short practice.
Speaker 1: You can do this same practice in a much longer
Speaker 1: way on your own. There's lots and lots of guided
Speaker 1: meditations out there. Sometimes when we're really trapped in the fear,
Speaker 1: it can be helpful to turn to guided meditations, to
Speaker 1: have somebody who comforts us, a voice we find comforting
Speaker 1: talk us through some of this. So there's tons of
Speaker 1: them out there. Insight Timer has countless ones. We've had
Speaker 1: sponsors on the show like Calm before. They have lots
Speaker 1: of great meditations out there. There's lots of sources of them.
Speaker 1: But you might find that if in your own quiet
Speaker 1: meditation that you're a little bit to jumble up, a
Speaker 1: guided one can help. And so but when we name
Speaker 1: the fear and sense that we're more grounded in presence,
Speaker 1: we become less gripped and identified with the fear. And
Speaker 1: when we do that, we can become clear on what
Speaker 1: right action might be. So this slowing ourselves down, are
Speaker 1: becoming more present, are dropping into the body is going
Speaker 1: to make our response better and clearer. So those are
Speaker 1: just a few thoughts on everything that is happening right now.
Speaker 1: I know there's a lot going on, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of fear, and I just do it encourage you to
Speaker 1: spend the time that you need to understand what's happening,
Speaker 1: but don't fall into the addictive cycle of that being
Speaker 1: everything that we pay attention to. Let's not be addicted
Speaker 1: to the noise of everything falling apart. Let's make sure
Speaker 1: that we're taking time for ourselves to go within, to
Speaker 1: do practices that nourish us, like exercise, eating right, and
Speaker 1: all these things are going to help us cope better
Speaker 1: our emotional, mental, and physical health. Our physical health our
Speaker 1: immune system is strengthened by calm, and it is weakened
Speaker 1: by excessive fear and stress. So excessive fear and stress
Speaker 1: is not going to help us cope with us. So
Speaker 1: I wish you some degree of inner stillness amidst all
Speaker 1: of the outer chaos right now. If uh, if I
Speaker 1: can help with anything, send me an email eric at
Speaker 1: when you feed dot net, and be good to yourself
Speaker 1: and those around you in this difficult time. Take care
Speaker 1: and talk to you soon. By