WEBVTT - Promotion 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:02.240 Attention Shoppers. 0:00:02.320 --> 0:00:06.920 Attention Shoppers Employees Only is an improvised comedy podcast about 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:11.000 a fictional big box store. Any similarity to real stores 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:18.000 or real people. This completely coincidental, and that is why 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:22.240 you should not point the price guns at customer heads 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.680 or at each other's heads. Okay, so now I have 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:29.960 a really, really big announcement. It's it's kind of a 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:35.800 sad announcement. Yo, I will be leaving the store soon. 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:37.400 They finally fired him. 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:37.919 I knew it. 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:39.920 I knew it. I could see it coming. 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:41.640 Did you get canceled? 0:00:41.920 --> 0:00:43.640 No, I'm not canceled, Timbo. 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:45.680 Now, Jerry, is this about how you walked around the 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:47.600 store with your fly down for a full day? 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.879 No, Liz, that is not what it's about. Any I 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:53.560 really don't appreciate that. When you, guys hear I'm leaving, 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:57.200 you all assume I've been fired. Okay, the zipper incident 0:00:57.600 --> 0:00:58.920 was handled by corporate. 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:00.560 We had that hearing. 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:03.640 All of you were allowed to give your testimony, and 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:05.520 I was completely exonerated. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:14.280 Stas lewis nothing we don't say by everything. 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:21.360 By Look, guys, the reason I'm leaving the store is 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.360 I'm about to be promoted to the regional manager position. 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:29.319 It seems that the current regional manager of our district, 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:32.679 you know that guy, Don Tower, it looks like he 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.399 has had a heart attack and he has gone into 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:36.680 the hospital. 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.920 And oh yeah, all right, is he Okay, he is 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:41.480 not dead. 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:44.360 He is not dead, but he could become dead. It's 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:45.960 it's unclear right now. 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:49.880 It looks like, given the situation, I will have to 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:52.720 step up and take the regional manager position. 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:54.120 Don Tower is. 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:58.280 The greatest guy. He bought like one thousand dollars worth 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:00.640 of my girls girl Scout cookies and they were little. 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:01.880 He's diabetic. 0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:05.320 Don Tower single handedly funded my GoFundMe when I got 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:07.080 a hurry up from deadlifting too hard. 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:10.040 He supported me on the pride parade. That was just 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:11.200 me and four other guys. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:13.160 He's the godfather of my kids. 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:15.240 Okay, yeah, you know what Don is great. 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:20.120 There's only three white people's picture in my grandmother's house, JFK, 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:22.320 Jesus and Don Tower. 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.840 Right, Well, he's a great guy. We can all agree. 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:26.480 He's just like such a great guy. 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.280 And look, I mean, you know, things change. 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.640 You know, it's time for me to step up and 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.720 become a regional manager in his place. 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:37.480 Probably you'll never take his place. 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.680 Well, I'll take his job, though, I'll take his job. 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:43.040 Robert, Well, who's coming in to take your job? 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:46.760 Well, it looks like with a short time we have, 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:49.800 I'm gonna have to groom one of you to take 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:50.359 my place. 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:53.200 Jerry, don't use the word groom. We've talked about this before. 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.720 I'm interested in upward mobility. What sort of like numbers 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:58.480 are we talking here? Why are you pulling in? 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:01.799 It's really not something that I'm I'm allowed to divulge. 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:05.720 I mean, once you are offering google don't google it. 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:07.120 Don't don't google it. 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:10.160 You make one hundred thousand dollars. 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:11.800 A year, you make six figures. 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:13.320 What are you spending your money on? 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:16.640 I uh, well, I have a mortgage. 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.560 One hundred k. With them shoes, you are not gonna 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:21.399 feel those shoes at don Tower. 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:24.160 I actually am buying new clothes, Arnold. I'm gonna buy 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.720 an entirely new outfit and some new ties as well. 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:28.600 All your ties are fat as hell. 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:30.560 Now I'm gonna get some skinny ties. 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:33.079 I guess I'm just gonna have to think about which 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:36.440 of you deserves the store manager position. 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:37.440 And let me tell you. 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:39.720 This, when I am regional manager. 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:44.520 These personal attacks and insults will stop. I am going 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:48.560 to be keeping a tight ship for the region and 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:50.840 I will brooking no defiance. 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:53.080 Thank you bye. 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:58.120 Did you guys see we just got a new shipment 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:01.840 of something in called the Pinkets. It's pants and a 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:05.440 blanket like a snuggie for just your lower half. 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.080 Well, good lord. People do not take pride in their 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:11.640 appearance anymore. When I was young, depression with something you 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:12.200 tried to have. 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:15.560 Well, now everyone is just chill axing arnolds. The Senate 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.320 just got rid of their dress code too. They don't 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:19.680 even have to wear suits anymore. They changed it because 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:22.080 that John Fetterman guy was showing up in shorts and 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.520 a hoodie all the time. You know, that's our senator. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:26.479 I mean I voted for him. I voted for him. 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:28.719 John Vettererman doesn't want to wear a suit, and John 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.240 Vetterman doesn't have to wear a suit, and nobody had 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:33.320 the balls to tell him to stop, because he's seven 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:36.360 feet tall and looks like a Klingon and probably knows 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.800 mma or like cah wah whatever it is that Klingons 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:43.320 do with those sick double edged swords. 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:46.359 That fool looks like a talking trash can out assessme, Street, 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.279 do not blame me. I voted for doctor Oz. He 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:52.440 might have done some experiments on puppies and sold worthless 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:55.479 pills to cancer boys, but he did it looking like 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:56.640 a goddamn professional. 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:58.200 I just wish there was a dress code where I 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:00.400 couldn't see any of them. I want Ted cruise in 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:02.880 a burka, you know what I mean. Want McConnell just 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:05.680 to be rolled into the Senate floor in a carpet. 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:07.440 Some of these damn senators you don't know what they're 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:11.240 gonna be wearing coming into Congress. Lindsey Graham I know him. 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:13.719 I know him and his friends from down in Charleston. 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:16.560 Mark my words. He is gonna show up with a ballgag. 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:18.880 He's gonna show up with a harness. There's gonna be 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.520 a little puppy tail stuck in his butt talking about 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:22.520 some war on terror. 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:25.240 I would love to see that, actually, Arnold, I would 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.560 pay to see that. When it comes to Fetterman, though, 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:30.480 you have to admit, he's the perfect representative for our state. 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:32.880 I mean, if Pennsylvania was a guy, he would definitely 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:36.800 be a WWE character wearing jorts and a car heart. 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:38.680 Yeah, what did you expect him to wear? 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:42.680 John Fetterman, Nobody cares about him wearing a suit except 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.400 for that one big and tall store and Wes ready, 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:46.039 that's it. 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:47.640 He was keeping them alive. 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.520 And if we're gonna loosen up the dress code, let's 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:52.919 make it useful. You know, we should get Mitch McConnell 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:55.400 a T shirt that says your name is Mitch McConnell. 0:05:55.480 --> 0:06:00.160 You are a senator from Kentucky. The year's twenty twenty three. 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.839 His name is Elame. Maybe make it reverse so that 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:04.600 when he looks in the mirror he can read it. 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:09.359 By Oh, sweet heavens Now, he has really gone and 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:11.400 done it. He's gone too far this time. 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.039 Let me guess, Joe, Joe Biden. 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:19.599 He's letting five hundred thousand Venezuelan immigrants into the country 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:23.599 with work permits. Venezuela doesn't even share a border with 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:27.800 the US. These are non contiguous foreign workers. God knows, 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:29.679 we had enough trouble with Alaska. 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:33.360 Do the Pittsburgh pirates know this? Are Venezuela's like Dominicans, 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:35.960 Because if they are, then they definitely have to have 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.680 five golden Glove shortstops in there, and they not even 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:39.960 gonna need fake versatifty. 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:41.800 This is a great idea. 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.640 Do you know how many Fogo to Child's we're about 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:48.400 to have. It's a Venezuelan restaurant where the meat is unlimited, 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.520 you know, like like a mimosa, but it's like a 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:54.040 bottomless mimosa of meat, like a meat mosa. 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:57.720 Timbo, bless your heart. Fogo to Chow is Brazilian, and honey, 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.840 there is no meat mosa that is bottomless. 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:03.560 Bazillion, never mind keep them out. 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.200 Well, as far as I can see it from my analysis, 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:09.200 and I have been analyzing it, you cannot just let 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.120 all the Venezuelans in, No, honey, you have to take 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:15.840 advantage of the crisis and only pick the best and brightest, 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.280 Like when we were smart and wise enough to steal 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:22.720 all those Nazi scientists after World War Two, got Werner 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.320 von Brown, We got all the good Nazis. We brought 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:28.280 them over here. It's time make America great again. They 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:30.960 keep saying it. Let's take these Venezuelans and ride them 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:31.840 up straight tomorrow. 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:33.920 A couple of years ago, I went six months without 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:36.200 finding the job. So it turns out I just need 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.440 to pop up from another country and be like, hey, 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:39.160 I'm hungry. 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:41.560 You better have a problem with it, because you're gonna 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.360 wake up one day and this bywall is gonna be 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:46.800 called el comprobienne because these are the jobs they're coming for. 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.040 After what these people have been through, they deserve to 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:52.120 take my job. They walk from South America to Texas. 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:54.760 Sometimes I get in my car to drive to my mailbox. 0:07:55.160 --> 0:08:00.760 Bye bye. 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:06.400 Well so I told him I've been here the whole time. 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:10.680 Oh man, Jerry, can I be real with you for 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.000 a second, sure, Yeah, yeah, okay. 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:16.000 Like no, homo, but I've always seen you as a. 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.120 Mentor, right, Yeah, I have a dad, and my dad 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:23.120 is also great, But like you're like way up there, Well. 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:25.880 That's really nice, Timbo. It's yeah, I. 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:28.400 Love being your store dad, and it's gonna take someone 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:32.000 really big to replace you. And I feel like I 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:34.160 feel like that could be me, and not just because 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:38.120 like my muscle to fat ratio is insane, but also 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:41.200 like I have some really great ideas if. 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:42.760 You want to, if you want to hear them. 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.000 Actually kind of busy right now, so I'm not. 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:51.720 Sure that hi, yo, Lis Robert Timbo's up mm hmmm, Jerry, 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:53.520 would you mind if I speak to you in private 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:56.400 over here by the dashing cast for just a much Sure? 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:59.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.200 You look around here. There is a power vacuum in 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:07.800 your absence. Look around at the candidates that are possible here. Honey, 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:12.560 Let's be real. Liz is a socialist. She does not 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:15.839 believe in free commerce. She will turn this place into 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.360 some damn soup kitchen for the non binary team. 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:19.760 Huh. 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:23.200 Well, look, I love Robert to death. He is a 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:26.959 good worker, but he's better at working with his hands, 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:28.040 if you know what I mean. 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:28.440 Honey. 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:32.800 Yeah, I'm not even sure I'm allowed to have this conversation, so. 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:36.080 Trust me, whatever you do, do not give this job 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:39.760 of store manager to Timbo's okay, that boy has some 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:40.880 type of brain damage. 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:45.040 Some of these are good points, so you think probably 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:48.520 the person I should give it to is you. 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.560 I didn't say it, honey, but just so you know, 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:54.120 I was recording this conversation and I did get you 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:55.280 pan that on audio, so. 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:58.640 You're recording me again. Listen, Arnold, I really don't appreciate 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:01.880 you've done that several times. Please do not report our conversation. 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:04.400 Hey, Jerry, if I can get you to just step 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:06.200 over to my laptop here for a second. I have 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:08.559 a little bit of info i'd like to share with you, 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:12.520 just a quick PowerPoint presentation I whipped up. Wow, I'm 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:13.760 pretty proud of myself. 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:15.080 Uh perestional. 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:18.640 Here's the deal, Jerr, women earn eighty two percent of 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:22.520 what men earn. Be an ally, Jerry, we need you, Okay. 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:24.160 Okay, Well at it feels like homework. 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:28.480 Next slide, another point. I am the only by Well 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:30.600 team lead with a college degree. 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:34.160 Yeah, so that was in wasn't that in art history? 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:34.440 Though? 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.200 I'm just I promise you I have what it takes. 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:38.840 Well, thank you for Wait wait. 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:40.840 Jerry, Jerry, the last page is just so like quick 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:43.240 collage of pictures of you. I don't want you to 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:43.880 miss that part. 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:47.840 Boy, I Liz did a really professional power point. 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:50.240 Everybody, Well, Robert, you. 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:52.920 Have anything you'd like to add? Since I'm here in 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:54.800 the break room rapping with. 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:59.920 You getting the low down, don't don't talk like that, okay, Jerry. Look, 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.600 you don't have to worry about it, man. I've already 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.520 started managing the store. I got grocery giving out free 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:08.839 beers because people buy more when they're drunk. I'm turning 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:12.839 the electronics into a VIP section. We have bottle girls. 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:14.040 And bottle girls. 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.760 You remember that show Who Supermarket Sweep. Sure. 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.000 Yeah, So I just look at a section of the 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.880 store that's low traffic and I'd be like, hey, for 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:26.880 the next fifteen seconds, forty percent off in kitchen wears, 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:29.360 and I just watch them go and they go crazy. 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:30.960 It's actually not a bad idea. 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.920 Actually, I mean, I'm not sure about the bottle service VIP. 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.640 Room, but Jerry, I just stepped outside over in the 0:11:37.679 --> 0:11:39.960 meat section. There was a baby out there sucking on 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:40.800 a Miller highlight. 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:43.400 There was just so y'all know that that baby came 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:44.360 in with that beer. 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:50.319 Bye bye. 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.240 I can't believe Jerry is going to leave the store. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.160 It's an end of an ear. 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:00.000 You worked here for two more. 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:01.800 Two months could be an era. 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:05.360 Robert Well, it is very sad when any leader has 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:09.160 to step down, leasten Rupert Murdoch. He's stepping down as 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:11.560 the head of Fox News. He did so much to 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.079 help this country so much. Who would have ever thought 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.680 that an Australian would be our greatest living American ninety 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:18.480 two years old? 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:19.440 Is this important? 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:22.160 To white people like, are y'all gonna argue about which 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.000 Fox News was better pre and post Murdoch? Is this 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.120 like y'all version of like the two aunt vivs on 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:29.160 Fresh Prince. 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:33.120 Robert original aunt VIVI is obviously clearly superior. 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.240 I'm og yeah, thank you, Yeah. 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:37.440 I don't think this is the same thing. I would 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:39.800 have loved to have been there when Rupert Murdock stepped down, 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:41.440 just so I could have pushed him down the rest 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:42.040 of the steps. 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:44.240 He retired from Fox News, but I bet he didn't 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.760 retire from racism. His Venezuelan home nurses are about to 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:48.840 be very upset. 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.000 Well, that is curious timing, isn't it If they brought 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.680 four hundred and seventy thousand over just right now to 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:55.959 take care of Rupert Murdoch. 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.800 I don't think it's curious at all, Arnold. I think 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.000 if you start connecting the do you will see that 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.640 whenever we let people in from another country, someone in 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:11.640 the head of the media steps down mysteriously, or dies mysteriously, 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.559 or passes the company off to their son mysteriously. 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:18.000 I swear to God, Timbo, your mama dropped you on 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:18.520 your head. 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:21.480 I blame science for him even lasting this long. Without 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:25.440 blood transfusions and groundbreaking heart treatments, that demonic bag of 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.320 bones would have turned to ash ages ago. 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:30.440 Well, say what you want about Fox News, Liz. You 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.559 can talk and talk and talk, but it has the 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:36.240 highest ratings of any network on television. And honey, how 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:39.240 can something that is successful be bad? I'll say this 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:42.160 his shthead Sons better not mess up my Fox News. 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:45.439 That is my favorite program. It's just like the Applebee's 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:47.920 by my house when they came under new management. Let 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:51.000 me tell you, those sizzling faitas do not shimmer the 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:51.760 way they used to. 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:53.959 Oh okay, I get it now. 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:57.200 This is like all the shows on HBO with the 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.640 family fighting for control exactly. 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.400 Rob and I feel like he just watched an episode 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.800 of Succession where his character dies on the toilet from 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:06.920 a stress heart attack and was like, I'm just gonna 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:07.600 give it to Kendall. 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.000 I feel like we should, though, give mad props to Murdoch. 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.199 I mean, he mean one of the most successful companies 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:16.600 of all time, so successful that women wanted to come 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.120 work for him even though they knew it meant Bill 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:20.720 O'Reilly would touch their butts. 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:24.360 That is my one complaint. Rupert would always pick the beautiful, 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:27.600 glamorous women to be on Fox News, but then he 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.120 sat him down next to some gray, lumpy, old potato 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:33.040 of a man. No wonder, there's no gay Republicans. You 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:35.400 drove them all off. Would it hurt so much to 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.760 put Ashton Koocher in front of a camera and give 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:40.760 him some premium conservative content. I don't know if it 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.360 would move the needle, but honey, it would sure move 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:43.960 my needle. 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:44.680 Bye. 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:51.800 Ugh. My estranged husband, Jamethy keeps calling me. I do 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.080 not have the emotional bandwidth to support him. 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.720 Today, and divorce is hard. 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:58.920 We're just separated. We've been separated for five years, so 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:01.880 things could work out. But I'm also allowed to, you know, 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:06.160 do what I want during the separation, just in case 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:08.760 that's information you need to know to mow. But I 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:12.200 do feel like I need a girls' night like Sophie 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:13.800 Turner and Taylor Swift style. 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:16.600 Oh you mean how Sophie Turner divorced Joe Jonas and 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.760 it's suing to have their kids return to England. But 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:20.280 then she went out for a night on the town 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.320 with Taylor Swift, who was also Joe Jonas's ex, Robert 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:27.640 what I like Game of Thrones, sands the start, that's 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:28.680 my queen in the North. 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.040 Let this be a lesson to men. If you divorce 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:33.160 a woman, she will get together with your ex so 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.600 they can both shit talk how small your dick is. 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.160 And if one of those exes is Taylor Swift, it's 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:39.160 gonna be on CNN. 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:40.800 I really feel sorry for Joe. 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:43.560 His ex is talking shit about him with his other 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:45.760 ex and one of them could write a number one 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:47.640 song about it and then get the other one to 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:48.520 act in the video. 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:52.320 That's scary, Liz, I know what you're talking about. Some 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:56.840 of these people exes get together exes and they do xes. 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:01.600 I know personally there is a Facebook group of everybody 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:05.479 who's fucked me in the last twenty years, and all transparency. 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:05.880 Honey. 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.320 I'm the moderator of it. I want to see everything 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:09.000 that they're saying. 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:09.480 Now. 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.440 I don't know who this Sophie Turner is. I don't 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:12.760 know her. 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:15.040 Sophie Turner is from Game of Thrones, so you know 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:18.120 she's good at intrigue in making alliances with queens. He 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:20.000 should just be glad he survived the wedding. 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:23.000 I don't know who this bitch is, but I think 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:26.800 straight people would save themselves a lot of trouble if 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.160 they would stop getting married and just take a bunch 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:31.800 of poppers and have foursomes like we do down at Crystal. 0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:35.200 In my opinion, Taylor Swift looks like somebody took a 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:37.200 doll and filled it with milk Arnold. 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:39.240 You better watch what you say. Those swifties will come 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:41.640 for you. They will find that Facebook group, they will 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:43.680 hack it, and they will become the moderators. And you 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:44.440 do not want that. 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:47.000 I'm a proud gay gun owner, and if any of 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:48.760 them are gonna come at me, I'm gonna come right 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:49.360 back at them. 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:51.520 I think that what happened to the Jonas brothers is 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:55.200 that sometimes, like an embryo divides in the womb, but 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:58.800 there's not enough testosterone for like three healthy males, and 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:01.400 so they come out like the Jonahs brothers. 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:04.960 Oh wait, hold on, no, they're not triplets. Huh. 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:07.720 Well, what they are is fade. And I feel bad 0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:10.280 for the young people today who think a sexy trio 0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:13.600 of brothers is these dainty little Jonas boys. When I 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.960 was young, and yes I was once, we had the Beg's. 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:20.480 They were sweaty, they were Australian and they had blow 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:24.479 dried hair and real man names like Barry, like Robin 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:28.160 and Maurice. My only problem is that when they sang 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.320 a woman's man, no time to talk, honey, I could 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:35.360 have fixed that. I never talk by. 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.080 And here it is the call from corporate. 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:43.320 They are going to officially raise me up to regional manager. 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:44.000 Liz. 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.960 Would you please put this video call on the TV. 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:49.119 Let's go. I want everybody to see this. 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.560 When did I become your personal at person? Jerriet can't 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:53.960 believe you can't screen share. 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:55.359 Just please just. 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:55.760 Do it, Liz. 0:17:56.480 --> 0:18:01.399 All right, Dawn you are you were on the phone. 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:02.959 I sure am. 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:04.440 Hey everybody. 0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.119 On tower. Great to see y'all. 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:11.320 I just you know, I wanted to just get on 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.720 the phone and uh and and let you know that 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:17.680