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Speaker 1: My mother in law forbid me from wearing white at

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Speaker 1: my wedding because I'm not pure.

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Speaker 2: I guess you gotta wear red now wear.

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Speaker 1: Red at your wedding, as your mother in law said.

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Speaker 1: Sorry for the extremely long post. I thirty two female,

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Speaker 1: am planning my wedding to my fiance, thirty male. But

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Speaker 1: his mother has a problem with every choice and decision

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Speaker 1: I've made. For context, I met his parents, his father

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Speaker 1: and stepmother. Before I met him, I worked closely with

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Speaker 1: his father, and after a family tragedy I met my

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Speaker 1: now fiance. One of his younger sisters passed away. That's

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Speaker 1: so sad and also very interesting way to meet your fiance.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Normal Cupcake thirty eight

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Speaker 1: ninety nine on the Okay Storytime Subured it so. I

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Speaker 1: was already in a relationship when we met, but it

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Speaker 1: wasn't a good one. He never stopped trying, though, and

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Speaker 1: after I found out that I was pregnant, my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: at the time decided he wasn't going to stick around

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Speaker 1: too much. The handle fiance's parents took me in and

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Speaker 1: helped me through a lot of sadness and grief and

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Speaker 1: incomes my night in shining tinfoil. He took me to

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Speaker 1: doctor's appointments, help me with when I had morning sickness,

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Speaker 1: and brought me chocolate and ice cream when I just

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Speaker 1: needed to cry it out. This is so sweet. That's

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Speaker 1: when it all started to go downhill. Mother in law

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Speaker 1: would make sly and rude comments about my weight, and

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Speaker 1: now she wished her son would find someone who would

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Speaker 1: have waited to make a family with him. For all

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Speaker 1: intents and purposes, my son is his fiance is the

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Speaker 1: only dad my son is known. Father in law would

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Speaker 1: say things along the line of if I wanted my

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Speaker 1: son to date you, I would have introduced you to earlier.

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Speaker 1: I just shrugged it off and just focused on being

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Speaker 1: as healthy as possible for my baby. I have somevere

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Speaker 1: anxiety and depression, so making sure my mental health is

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Speaker 1: stable is what's most important. Not their words, but it

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Speaker 1: just kept getting worse. Fiance wasn't able to be there

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Speaker 1: for the birth of my son because he was working

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Speaker 1: outside the state at that time. He was sad that

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Speaker 1: he wasn't able to be there, but called me every

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Speaker 1: day to check on us. I had to have an

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Speaker 1: emergency c section because my son and I both had

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Speaker 1: issues with the anesthesia and orebps plummeted. I almost passed away,

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Speaker 1: and my son wasn't breathing when he arrived into this world.

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Speaker 1: I later found out that my mother in law and

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Speaker 1: father in law never told him I was in the

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Speaker 1: hospital and he was still at home when I went

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Speaker 1: to the hospital. A week later, my son and I

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Speaker 1: were able to go home and recover. Mother in law

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Speaker 1: started immediately sending my posts and tiktoks about how to

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Speaker 1: get back into shape. I have always been a bigger

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Speaker 1: girl and struggled with my fertility. I had my son

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Speaker 1: three mail when I was twenty nine. They always told

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Speaker 1: me how important it was for their son to be

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Speaker 1: with someone who cares about their health. Mother in law

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Speaker 1: would also talk NonStop about her and her daughter went

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Speaker 1: right back to their normal size after having kids. Mother

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Speaker 1: in law also like to point out how skinny her

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Speaker 1: daughter was even while she was pregnant. I found out

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Speaker 1: I was pregnant with my first daughter a month before

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Speaker 1: my son's first birthday. Fiance and I were ecstatic that

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Speaker 1: our little family was growing, even if it was faster

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Speaker 1: than we hoped. All three of my children were conceived

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Speaker 1: while on birth control. Damn you're strong.

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Speaker 2: Wow, those are some sharp shooters there.

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Speaker 1: I'm a little bit confused on which kids are his,

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Speaker 1: if any.

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Speaker 2: The first one is not, the other two are.

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Speaker 1: Okay, after our daughter too female was born, we talked

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Speaker 1: about possibly getting married. Okay, so this makes a little

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Speaker 1: bit more sense. I feel like at the beginning, it

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Speaker 1: seems like they were getting married after like a couple months.

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Speaker 2: They were engage after a couple months.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's necessarily true because it says

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Speaker 1: after our daughter to female was born. I think she

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Speaker 1: was just saying, this is my future fiance.

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Speaker 2: Because Op's fiance is our fiance now, so they're just

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Speaker 2: referring to them as fiance.

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Speaker 1: But I believe at the beginning of the story, she's pregnant,

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Speaker 1: they meet each other, they start dating, and then she

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Speaker 1: has the baby, they have another kid, and now they're

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Speaker 1: like broaching marriage. That is my understanding. I've never been

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Speaker 1: super girly, but the one thing I've always imagined was

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Speaker 1: my wedding. I told him I wouldn't have a problem

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Speaker 1: making it official. I just don't want anything super traditional

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Speaker 1: or uppity. It is a celebration. After all, I had

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Speaker 1: lost my stepdad as a teenager. I wouldn't have anyone

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Speaker 1: to walk down the aisle, so our wedding would look

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Speaker 1: a little different, and I didn't want him to propose

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Speaker 1: to me unless my family was there.

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Speaker 2: Also, real quick, a cute thing you could do is

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Speaker 2: if you don't have someone walk you down the aisle,

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Speaker 2: is to have all the little children and your families

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Speaker 2: walking down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be so cute. They just all hold

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Speaker 1: in your hands. Fast forward to my son's second birthday.

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Speaker 1: My son and I were on a scavenger hunt for

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Speaker 1: his last birthday present, and it ended with our families

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Speaker 1: standing in a semicircle around my fiance on one knee.

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Speaker 1: It was beautiful. He got me a beautiful hexagonal moss

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Speaker 1: I get ring, and my mom and grandma were there

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Speaker 1: literally five minutes later. Mother in law was asking about

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Speaker 1: the wedding plans. Fiance and I had agreed on a

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Speaker 1: fall wedding. She said we should do it in the spring.

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Speaker 1: We agreed on burgundy, teal and dusty rose with silver accents.

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Speaker 1: She said we should do purple and gold.

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Speaker 2: I would all black wedding, everything just black black, just

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Speaker 2: funeral type, just black. I want a rustic Bohemian wedding.

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Speaker 2: She said it should be formal. I want to wear

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Speaker 2: an informal white dress in cowboy boots with a flower

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Speaker 2: crown instead of a veil. This is where I decide.

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Speaker 1: Mother in law was never going to be okay with

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Speaker 1: fiance and I being together. She told me that I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't wear a white dress because I'm not pure. Well,

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Speaker 1: you should mind your own business because you're not the

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Speaker 1: bride boom.

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Speaker 2: Well's look at your history book too. While we're at it.

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Speaker 1: Let's take a look through your Holier than Thou book.

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Speaker 1: She said, it isn't proper or right for me to

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Speaker 1: wear white because I had children out of wedlock. This

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Speaker 1: woman wasn't married until five years after having three children.

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Speaker 1: My god, you hypocrite. She wore white. I explained to

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Speaker 1: her that none of the women in my family were

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Speaker 1: pure before getting married, and they all wore white, and

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Speaker 1: I wasn't having a traditional wedding, so traditional aspects of

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Speaker 1: weddings weren't important to me. She lost it, calling me

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Speaker 1: a harlot and telling me I was ruining the sanctity

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Speaker 1: of marriage. She's been married twice before and is technically

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Speaker 1: still married to her second. The thing is that she

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Speaker 1: actually doesn't care about the sanctity of marriage. She is

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Speaker 1: just trying to wheedle her way between you guys, because

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Speaker 1: she doesn't want you to marry a son. So she's

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Speaker 1: trying to come up with any excuse.

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Speaker 2: Any and every excuse, and it's out of bounds, out

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Speaker 2: of bounce.

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Speaker 1: Father in law and her only held a ceremony, not

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Speaker 1: legally married. I know this because I was literally there.

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Speaker 1: It's so sad that they were so supportive of her

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Speaker 1: before this relationship. Well, they welcomed her into their home

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Speaker 1: when she got pregnant. The first time the flip was

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Speaker 1: when she started dating their son. I ended the conversation

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Speaker 1: about it and told my fiance that I didn't want

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Speaker 1: their opinions on our special day. His parents said they

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Speaker 1: weren't going to pay for anything if they didn't get

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Speaker 1: a say in the planning. We've never asked them to

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Speaker 1: pay for anything. Most of the planning is around the

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Speaker 1: reception anyway, and I decided it would be fun to

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Speaker 1: do a potluck such barbecue.

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Speaker 2: All right, you're doing a barbecue deal a barbecue for

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Speaker 2: my web WHOA, that's bold coming from you.

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Speaker 1: What I've said that so many times.

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Speaker 2: Barbecue yeah, a pescatarian. Yeah, I'm gonna fish. You're got

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Speaker 2: a fish barbecue with a fish barbecue. You're a barbecue fish.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. It's gonna be. It's an outdoor wedding. Outdoor wedding,

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Speaker 1: Sophia Donner. Outdoor wedding. Yes, outdoor indoor wedding. But I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna find someone's backyard to do it in. Okay, gussy

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Speaker 1: up the backyard, gonna walk down the aisle. My dad's

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Speaker 1: gonna be there. He's gonna walk me down, and then

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Speaker 1: he's gonna flip around, put a new hat on. He's

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Speaker 1: gonna officiate the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Oh word.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And then there's a whole dance floor and we

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Speaker 1: eat barbecue. That's my wedding.

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Speaker 2: Two of these things. I'm having a really hard time

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Speaker 2: comprehending for you, but I'm down. I'll be there, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I've had this idea in my head for about five

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Speaker 1: years now.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Okay, maybe it'll change.

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Speaker 1: We'll see. We provide the meat and dessert, everyone else

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Speaker 1: provides the sides. The venue I found free for day

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Speaker 1: use and a fifty dollars clean up fee for night use.

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Speaker 1: It is outside with well kept portagons and they will

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Speaker 1: rent tables, chairs, tents and all the other odds and

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Speaker 1: ends for one hundred dollars.

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Speaker 2: Charge one hundred and fifty dollars wedd invent. Someone showed

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Speaker 2: me a cheaper.

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Speaker 1: One and she's having a cute little white dress with

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Speaker 1: cowboy boots, so it's probably not an expensive dress. Even

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Speaker 1: with two small children, we could afford everything we needed.

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Speaker 1: My dress, shoes and accessories are only one hundred and

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Speaker 1: fifty dollars combined three hundred bucks. Now I'm a handmaking

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Speaker 1: all the bouquets, boutineers and center pieces out of felt

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Speaker 1: designs I found of lilies and succulents and old formula cans.

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Speaker 1: That's so cute, and also it's nice because you know

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Speaker 1: people can take those home and they you know, they

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Speaker 1: don't die.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, the formula cans look cool after you

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Speaker 2: take the labels off.

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Speaker 1: The bride'smaid dresses are about eighty dollars apiece and can

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Speaker 1: be worn a multitude of ways. And the groomsman shirts

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Speaker 1: are thirty bucks and are just got to be style

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Speaker 1: with an ice bare blue jeans and boots. The colors

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Speaker 1: I chose gave the wearers the ability to wear them

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Speaker 1: more than once for price. Mother in law is now

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Speaker 1: saying I'm TACKI and I'm just trying to exclude her

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Speaker 1: and sister in law from everything. Sister in law is

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Speaker 1: one of my bridesmaids and told me she won't be

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Speaker 1: helping because she doesn't like the theme. One of my

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Speaker 1: younger sisters is going to be our photographer. She's trying

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Speaker 1: to get her business up and running and asked if

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Speaker 1: she could give me her time and use my wedding

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Speaker 1: as practice. Slash advertising. Whoa wedding out a budget? We

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Speaker 1: love it.

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Speaker 2: I've never seen anything like this.

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Speaker 1: I agreed immediately. Another of my sisters is an amateur baker.

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Speaker 1: She's gifting us a small cake to cut the list

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Speaker 1: of things I'm up cycling for this wedding. Slash reception

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Speaker 1: is long, but hopefully you get the picture.

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Speaker 2: Leak out literally. Probably under three hundred dollars wedding.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, probably under like five hundred. I would say yeah,

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Speaker 1: because with the you know, food cost, it'd probably be

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Speaker 1: around five hundred. Mother in law is fuming to placate her.

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Speaker 1: We agree to move the wedding to the spring of

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, well in November of twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 1: I found out I was pregnant again. Damn were you

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Speaker 1: on birth control then?

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Speaker 2: Two?

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Speaker 1: I would have been seven months pregnant at the time

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Speaker 1: of our wedding. We decided to postpone the wedding until

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Speaker 1: after I had the baby. She's been pressing us to

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Speaker 1: get married ever since she found out we're having another

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Speaker 1: B word child. Wow, your mother in law sucks.

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Speaker 2: Do you wanted to get married?

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Speaker 1: You're not? It's so confusing. Yeah, literally make up your

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Speaker 1: rind for all of you keeping track. Yes, that is

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Speaker 1: three babies in three years. I had our third baby

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Speaker 1: and final baby three months ago. And you know what

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Speaker 1: else happens at three our lives, So join us at

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Speaker 1: three VMBSD on YouTube just stop a profile. Oh and

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Speaker 1: there is a little bit more. But do you have

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Speaker 1: any advice?

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Speaker 2: Why are we menacing on a lovely, beautiful family on

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Speaker 2: a phenomenal wedding budget.

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Speaker 1: Nonetheless not asking you for any money or any of

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Speaker 1: your opinions, because who wants those?

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Speaker 2: I mean, if you want something to be mad about,

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Speaker 2: Jerry Springer go is on every day used to be

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Speaker 2: you can watch our shows. We got a lot of

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Speaker 2: stories you can be mad.

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Speaker 1: At those stories. You could go like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: watch Criminal Minds. Be mad at the evil people in

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Speaker 1: that show.

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Speaker 2: Leave this poor lady and her lovely husband that is

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Speaker 2: your son.

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Speaker 1: Alone because they got your grandbabies. Why are you being

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Speaker 1: so mad?

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Speaker 2: I have no idea why she's acting this way. You

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Speaker 2: think she's jealous.

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Speaker 1: I think that there is a level of kind of

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Speaker 1: jealousy and control or wanting control over her son. And

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Speaker 1: I think that her and the father in law clearly

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Speaker 1: want to have kind of a role to play in

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Speaker 1: deciding who he gets to marry. And this is outset,

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Speaker 1: like they're like, you're not who we wanted him to marry,

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Speaker 1: and so now they're trying to kind of make it

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Speaker 1: horrible for her until she like backsat or something. But

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Speaker 1: there's a little bit left. I'm thankful that we did postpone, though,

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Speaker 1: because four months later my mom passed up. He's really

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Speaker 1: just going through so much. Three months after losing my mom,

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Speaker 1: my last surviving grandparent passed, so in the span of

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Speaker 1: six months, I lost my mom and grandma and was

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Speaker 1: a month away from having my baby. The birth of

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Speaker 1: my second daughter was traumatic, to say the least, and

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Speaker 1: a week later I had to go in for an

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Speaker 1: emergency surgery to remove a gigantic hematoma from my abdomen

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Speaker 1: that formed because of the traumatic birth. After three months,

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Speaker 1: I am finally healed from surgery and finally able to

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Speaker 1: work out and get back into healthy shape. I am

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Speaker 1: still grieving the loss of two of the most important

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Speaker 1: people in my life. This year has made me come

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Speaker 1: to the realization that what's important is we are happy

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Speaker 1: and my family is safe and together. I hope that

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Speaker 1: your mother in law can realize that too. My fiance

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Speaker 1: said he wishes he could have had more time with

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Speaker 1: his mother in law. He misses her too. We're hoping

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Speaker 1: to have our reception in autumn of twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 1: We've decided to elope and only have the closest people

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Speaker 1: there with us when we say our vows. Yeah, better

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Speaker 1: than having your stinky mother in law there. I'm still

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Speaker 1: doing all the things I plan for her wedding, tacky

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Speaker 1: or not. I hope mother in law hates it. My

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Speaker 1: mother would be so proud of how I'm handling my

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Speaker 1: issues with mother in law. Sick Please sweek. Customer service

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Speaker 1: always pisses a Karen Off, and my mother lived to

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Speaker 1: piss Karen's off. Oh okay, well I'm glad it's mostly

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Speaker 1: working out. Man. Oh man, Yeah, your mother in law sucks.

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Speaker 1: Maybe we just go no contact with her?

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Speaker 2: Oh, one hundred percent, just being a nightmare. See, your

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Speaker 2: fiance feels about it, and I would definitely be inching

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Speaker 2: towards that because she's complainer did She's sticking her nose

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Speaker 2: in places that don't belong. And that's the end of

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Speaker 2: that story. My mother in law refused to pay for

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Speaker 2: my wedding if I didn't respect her wishes. I told her,

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Speaker 2: I'll pay for it, then pay for it. I twenty

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Speaker 2: five mail, will be marrying my fiance. Gee, you got

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Speaker 2: a name for Gianna? Gianna twenty five female. Later this year.

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Speaker 2: I proposed to her a little bit before Christmas and

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Speaker 2: we're aiming for November wedding. Gianna has two older brothers,

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Speaker 2: one of which has gotten married, and for one reason

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Speaker 2: or another, my mother in law sixty eight female, was

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Speaker 2: not involved in the planning of the wedding at all.

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Speaker 1: Why well do you want her to be?

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Speaker 2: Invaumed She was pretty her over this, as she's always

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Speaker 2: wanted to help plan her children's weddings. So we got engaged.

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Speaker 2: She offered to pay for most of the weddings, and

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Speaker 2: in return we agreed to let her help with the planning. Okay,

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Speaker 2: in my mind, as long as I'm marrying Gianna, I'm happy,

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Speaker 2: and I was okay with this.

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Speaker 1: I'm sensing that there might be something coming that you're

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Speaker 1: not okay with.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from twelve to seventy three

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Speaker 2: Rockefeller on the R. Slish Okay story Tom supperder So.

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Speaker 2: The only thing I'm really stinking to that I refuse

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Speaker 2: to change is what I'm wearing. My mother died when

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Speaker 2: I was young, and she was the daughter of the

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Speaker 2: first generation Scottish immigrants. My grandparents moved from North Scotland

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Speaker 2: in the sixties and my mother was brought up learning

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Speaker 2: about her parents' culture. Since she died, I've had a

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Speaker 2: hard time connecting to that side of the family, and

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Speaker 2: after my grandfather died a few years ago, I decided

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Speaker 2: I want to wear her family's kilt when I get married.

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Speaker 1: That's so cute. I love that. That's great. You should

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Speaker 1: do that if that's part of your tradition. Don't let

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Speaker 1: anyone tell you otherwise.

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Speaker 2: That quilt. I talked about this with my fiance before

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Speaker 2: we got engaged, because it's an unorthodox idea, but she

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Speaker 2: thought it was kind of sweet and liked the idea,

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Speaker 2: so she's on board. A few days ago, my mother

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Speaker 2: in law came up to me and told me I'd

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Speaker 2: wear a traditional tuxedo instead of a guilt. When I

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Speaker 2: asked her why, she said it went against the view

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Speaker 2: she had of Gianna's wedding and that the colors of

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Speaker 2: my mother's tartan clashed with the colors she chose for

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Speaker 2: the wedding. When I told her this was pretty much

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Speaker 2: the only thing I'm unwilling to buddra on, she brought

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Speaker 2: up how she's paying for most of the wedding and

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Speaker 2: wearing a tux is the least I could do.

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Speaker 1: That's so annoying when someone offers to give a gift

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Speaker 1: and then holds it over your head.

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Speaker 2: When I brought up this to Gianna, she echoed the

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Speaker 2: sentiment her mother had made about paying for the wedding.

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Speaker 2: I'm able to pay for it myself and tell Gianna

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Speaker 2: that I thought she understood how important this connection to

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Speaker 2: my mother was to me, especially because she can't be

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Speaker 2: there and if she wasn't able to accept that I'd

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Speaker 2: pay for the wedding myself. Gianna told me that I

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Speaker 2: was being a bit of a wiener for this, being

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Speaker 2: stuck to what I want to wear. And once my

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Speaker 2: mother in law heard that I would just pay for

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Speaker 2: the wedding myself, she got really upset because it's always

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Speaker 2: been her dream to plan Gianna's wedding.

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Speaker 1: She literally is planning Giana's wedding though the only thing

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Speaker 1: that she's not doing is the kilt.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like the only thing he wants, the only.

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Speaker 1: Thing he's asked for, and he's told his fiance why

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Speaker 1: it's so important to him, and she agreed on it.

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Speaker 1: And now she's doubling back and is like, oh, actually,

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Speaker 1: you're being a wiener. Ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: What do you call that? Living through your children.

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Speaker 1: Living vicariously through her daughter. I don't like either the

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Speaker 1: mother or the fianza.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm feeling a bit like a wiener right now,

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00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 2: and was wondering if I should just wear a standard tux.

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Speaker 2: My family's kilt is really important to me. But this

365
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 2: causing more conflict than I thought it would. And we

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Speaker 2: have an updates. Do we budge? Do we pay for

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Speaker 2: the wedding.

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Speaker 1: I think you should if your mother in law is

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Speaker 1: going to make this the sticking point, and then honestly,

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00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,400
Speaker 1: she's going to try and button in other areas, and

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Speaker 1: I think it's just easier for you to pay for

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Speaker 1: the wedding.

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Speaker 2: My first thought process is, Okay, you're gonna spend anywhere

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Speaker 2: from fifteen to thirty K just to work killed at

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Speaker 2: your wedding, but to your most important day of the year,

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Speaker 2: and it's connection to your mom. It's gonna be in

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Speaker 2: every single photo that you have for the rest of

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Speaker 2: your life exactly.

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Speaker 1: Again, this is an important part of your culture, and

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00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,120
Speaker 1: the fact that neither your mother in law or your

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Speaker 1: fiance can understand that is pretty telling.

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Speaker 2: I hate that the fiance kind of like got behind

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Speaker 2: her mom.

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Speaker 1: I hate that she should be supporting you, not you know,

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00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 1: standing with her mom. I don't like it.

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Speaker 2: Update. So, the past twenty four hours or so have

387
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Speaker 2: been eventful, and I took most people's advice to talk

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Speaker 2: to my fiance about this issue before going forward. Her

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Speaker 2: siding with her mother like this and going against me

390
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 2: was really out of character. So I felt like I

391
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,080
Speaker 2: really needed to figure out what's going on. The long

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00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 2: and short of it comes down to money. Gianna doesn't

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Speaker 2: make much of a salary as I do. I make

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Speaker 2: almost two point five times her salary. Despite this, she's

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Speaker 2: pretty insistent on things being fifty to fifty between us.

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Speaker 2: Our finances aren't combined until after marriage because of some

397
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,919
Speaker 2: weird tax issues and legal things in our home region.

398
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Speaker 2: But with me making more, she insists we're a team

399
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,919
Speaker 2: and have to go fifty to fifty on big things rent,

400
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,720
Speaker 2: car payments, electrical wedding. So even though I'm able to

401
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Speaker 2: pay for the wedding myself, she's not able to pay

402
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Speaker 2: for half. She feels like she wants to pay for.

403
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Speaker 1: Okay, so she's like, I want to split everything halfway,

404
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 1: and it's like I could pay for the whole thing,

405
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 1: but she's very adamant, like, no, it has to be

406
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Speaker 1: fifty fifty.

407
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 2: Because of this, she's really clinging onto the idea of

408
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 2: her mother paying for our wedding, even though I'd be

409
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,440
Speaker 2: more happy to pay for it all myself. We've talked

410
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,200
Speaker 2: to yesterday evening and she said that since she accepted

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Speaker 2: her mother paying for the wedding, their relationship has become

412
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 2: pretty strained, with mother in law pretty much taking over

413
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Speaker 2: the wedding planning. Apparently, mother in law was initially pushing

414
00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,440
Speaker 2: for tropical destination wedding in Jamaica. Oh my god, the

415
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,200
Speaker 2: idea Gianna put down quickly, as she knows I hate

416
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,960
Speaker 2: the idea of destination weddings. And mother in law had

417
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 2: even tried to get final say on the dress Gianna

418
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,639
Speaker 2: was going to wear, as well as she wanted to

419
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,840
Speaker 2: final say over who the bride'smaids were. She wanted her

420
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Speaker 2: friend's daughters, whom Gianna is not close with, in the party.

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Speaker 1: That's insane. She's like, I want my friends to be there,

422
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,159
Speaker 1: and actually, Gianna, you won't be the bride. I'm going

423
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 1: to be the bride.

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Speaker 2: I've had a pretty good relationship with mother in law

425
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 2: so far. I found it kind of odd how she

426
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,159
Speaker 2: went all Momzilla. But I've noticed her and Gianna drifting

427
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,400
Speaker 2: apart a bit, although I never thought it was related.

428
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 2: I feel like this is the reason why Gianna's sibling

429
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 2: planned their own wedding and the mother in law did

430
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:43,640
Speaker 2: plan theirs.

431
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, she definitely she butts her head into everything. They're like,

432
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Speaker 1: you're not coming anywhere near my wedding.

433
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 2: I feel like the mother in law should just became

434
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,159
Speaker 2: a wedding plannic clearly.

435
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 1: Her dream in life. I think they need to do it.

436
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 1: Gianna needs to do at her mom and say, hey,

437
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 1: we're actually gonna have op plan this wedding. You know,

438
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 1: we just have some differences and we don't want to put,

439
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,359
Speaker 1: you know, too much pressure on you to pay for

440
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,160
Speaker 1: everything and just leave it there.

441
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 2: A few people thought that Gianna actually hated the idea

442
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 2: of the kilt and had mother in law acting as

443
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 2: the band guy to try and change my mind. And

444
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 2: you're not completely wrong. She doesn't hate the idea, but

445
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,399
Speaker 2: she doesn't like that the other male members of the

446
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,399
Speaker 2: bridal party will be wearing tuxedos while myself and my

447
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,359
Speaker 2: cousin would be wearing kilts. We'll just get everyone to

448
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 2: wear a kilt. She wanted consistency across the board and

449
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: expressed this to her mother. Mother in law took this

450
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,639
Speaker 2: as the opportunity to get me to wear tucks instead

451
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 2: of getting the grooonsmen to wear kilts, and had the

452
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 2: wedding colors change without Gianna's knowledge to contrast with my

453
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 2: family's tartan. She sucks, that's crazy. She's like, it's either

454
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:49,160
Speaker 2: my way or the highway. Good thing, op has enough

455
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 2: money to pay for the highway.

456
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, pay for that highway. Get her off the road.

457
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 1: We don't need her anymore.

458
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 2: But she's doing a lot of other sneaky things behind.

459
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, you just need to get her off the planning,

460
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 1: like as soon as possible.

461
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 2: When I talked to Gianna yesterday, she said that she

462
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 2: had gotten out of a massive fight with her mother

463
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 2: over changing the colors and wasn't really in the mood

464
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 2: to start another argument with her. She acknowledged she was

465
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,719
Speaker 2: in the wrong for siding with her mom and seemed

466
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 2: genuinely sorry. She said that in the stress of planning

467
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 2: a wedding while having an overbearing mother, she had thought

468
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 2: of the kill as another detail and had forgotten the

469
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 2: significance of it to me, and that she was really sorry.

470
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 2: But you can never be sorry if you join us

471
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 2: live every weekday at three pm PST. Just at her profile.

472
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 2: That's sweet that she apologized.

473
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 1: I appreciate that she finally came around and was like, yeah,

474
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I know that this is important to you.

475
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 1: It's also just like culturally significant, because I mean a

476
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 1: lot of Scottish traditions have been sidelined and erased and stuff.

477
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 1: So the fact that the mother in law was trying

478
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 1: to do that again is not cool.

479
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of tug of wars with details,

480
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 2: and she probably like another one, another one I have

481
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 2: to vite her on.

482
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just get your mom out of there. It's

483
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: going to cause you more stress if you have to

484
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: deal with like Gianna dealing with her mom about not

485
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 1: agreeing with it. It's just like, just don't even deal

486
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 1: with her. Get her out of there.

487
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 2: In the meantime, a few changes have been made. My

488
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 2: mother in law is no longer paying for the wedding

489
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 2: and no longer involved in planning. I'm going to pay half,

490
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 2: as Gianna never wanted me to pay more than half

491
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,400
Speaker 2: by myself or something that's for the both of us,

492
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 2: and my father in law is covering the parts that

493
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 2: Gianna is going to have trouble covering. Mother in law

494
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 2: is unaware of this. Father in law and mother in

495
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,400
Speaker 2: law are still together, however he's not telling her he's

496
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 2: helping pay. We're still getting married in November. White and

497
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 2: colors have been changed back to match my kilt, and

498
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: we've decided to rent kilts and our regional tartan for

499
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 2: the rest of the groomsmen so they can match the esthetic. Thankfully,

500
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 2: no deposits were put down on things like tux rentals,

501
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 2: bridesmaid dresses, or decoration, so no money was lost.

502
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 1: Huzzah.

503
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people told me to seriously

504
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 2: reconsider marrying Gianna and going to our talk last night.

505
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 2: I really was, but I'm happy with how things turned

506
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: out since this was really an anomaly in her behavior

507
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 2: and I really am excited to marry her.

508
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think.

509
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 2: I would have gone straight to the jumping to to

510
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,679
Speaker 2: the streets Gianna, We're done.

511
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 1: Definitely. Gianna was in the wrong, but I think it

512
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: was wedding stress coupled with her mom being.

513
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 2: Like, no, if you're willing to five for something, five

514
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 2: for it.

515
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: Five for five for it. But that's the end of

516
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 1: that story. My fiance's sister in law is trying to

517
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: steal him back, so I insisted we cut her off.

518
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: That's a complicated relationship there. I thirty one female, asked

519
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,959
Speaker 1: my fiance forty one male to limit his conversations with

520
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 1: his sister in law thirty eight female. If he can't

521
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: cut off all communications with her. His sister in law,

522
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: thirty nine female, has been with his brother thirty eight

523
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 1: male for fifteen years now. They're not married, but they

524
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,480
Speaker 1: have four kids together, which I know is a sore

525
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 1: spot for her. Why is he not locking her down?

526
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 2: She probably is looking for another brother.

527
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from deleted on the Okay

528
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: storytime suvered it. So the sister in law, who I'll

529
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: call Amy, was actually dating my fiance sixteen years ago

530
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 1: before she left him for his brother. You backed the

531
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: wrong brother there, man. Yikes, cause one person's getting locked

532
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 1: down and one person is not locked down. Big reason

533
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: the family isn't a fan of her, amongst the fact

534
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 1: that she was unfaithful to the brother a few times.

535
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,400
Speaker 1: Oh wow, doesn't seem like she's got any loyalty.

536
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 2: She doesn't.

537
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 1: Ever, since I started dating my fiance three to four

538
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 1: years ago, I can tell Amy has been jealous and

539
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: just plain rude. I'm not trying to be a braggart,

540
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: but I started dating my partner when I was twenty eight.

541
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm fit, I'm good looking. Amy was very good looking

542
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: fifteen years ago from the photos I've seen, but she

543
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: looks like a completely different person now. Initially I thought

544
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: she was jealous of me because she was still harboring

545
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: feelings for my partner, or maybe was jealous that he

546
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,479
Speaker 1: was seriously dating someone that their family really liked. And

547
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: since I came along, Amy started calling my partner way

548
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: too much, usually when we were hanging out. She was

549
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: calling him about mundane things or to complain about his brother,

550
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: which I feel is a boundary issue.

551
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, absolutely.

552
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,719
Speaker 1: They were together, and she seems like she still has

553
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 1: feelings for the brother and she's basically calling her ex

554
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 1: to complain about her man who is his brother, right

555
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 1: when he's spending time with his new girlfriend. It all

556
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: felt like games to me. Things got a lot worse

557
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: when we got engaged and later found out we were

558
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 1: expecting Oh wow, congrats. Amy was calling my partner more

559
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: than ever, complaining about the brother and saying weird things

560
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: like I wish I could change my decisions in the past,

561
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: but I guess I can't, And we all freaking know what, Amys.

562
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: We all freaking know what that means. Amy, But you

563
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: can't change it because you're not a freaking time traveler,

564
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: and you just gotta deal with it.

565
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 2: That's right.

566
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: Then she ends up announcing she's also expecting two four

567
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 1: months after our own announcement. She just gets busy like immediately, so.

568
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 2: I have to be center of attention now.

569
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: Since that happened, she's been very competitive for attention, called it.

570
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 1: For example, she invited my partner to her ultrasound on

571
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: our due date. What I hate this one. Everyone thought

572
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: that was so inappropriate and weird. She never invited him

573
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 1: to any other ultrasounds. Why this one? Because she wants

574
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 1: to steal him away. Then, on a day we were

575
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: celebrating our engagement with their father, she showed up out

576
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 1: of breath to the celebration. She lives next door to

577
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 1: the dad and tried to tell everyone they needed to

578
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 1: attend her daughter's soccer game that was happening the next day.

579
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: And we were rude for not inviting her to our

580
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: celebration and not supporting her daughter's soccer game.

581
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 2: This is a crab in a bucket.

582
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 1: I hate her trying to pull everyone back into the bucket.

583
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: Last night, we were supposed to check out wedding venues

584
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 1: and Amy goes, no, my daughter is having an open

585
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: house ceremony at her school and I need you there

586
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 1: to my partner.

587
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 2: Oh, Wow, what about to the brother?

588
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: Maybe talk to your husband? Have we thought about that?

589
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 1: That was the final straw. I had a long combo

590
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 1: with my fiance and said, she needs to cut the crap.

591
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 1: All these weird events are for moms and dads, and

592
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: she does not need her soon to be married brother

593
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 1: in law at these events. What is she playing at?

594
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: I straight up asked him if he thought she had

595
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: feelings for him. He goes, I don't think she wants

596
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 1: to date me. I think she just doesn't want me

597
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: to be happy with anyone else because she's unhappy, which

598
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: I think is in astute observation. And she's jealous that

599
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: my family obviously likes you better than they like her,

600
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: so she does try to steal the spotlight.

601
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 2: She's not doing a great job at it.

602
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: No, no one cares about her. She's like, please, my

603
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: daughter's soccer game.

604
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 2: And they're like no, and that poor daughter is now

605
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 2: being used for her attention.

606
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 1: She's just trying to have a soccer game.

607
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 2: Man, She's just trying to go to open house.

608
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: So I said, that's exactly why I think they should

609
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: limit conversation because I do not trust a person like that.

610
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,479
Speaker 2: I think that's really smart.

611
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, just to keep her out of her life. I

612
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: don't think the busm's going to do anything, but I

613
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 1: think she's just a bad juju, bad.

614
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: Energy, and cutting her off is getting away from that,

615
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 2: entertaining into entertaining get in a way like if she's

616
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 2: calling you and you pick it up, you're entertaining it.

617
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: You're letting her get away with that as behavior. My

618
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: partner responded with, what do you think is gonna happen?

619
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: Do you think that she's gonna get me to dump

620
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: you for her after she's been with my brother for

621
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: fifteen years and as four of his kids.

622
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 2: I'd never do that, Dude, there was a way better

623
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 2: response you could have had that.

624
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 1: So many other options that you could have went with,

625
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: but you went with that one, and that was the

626
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,160
Speaker 1: worst one. You should have said, Yeah, you're totally right,

627
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: she is putting into a relationship and I'll limit conversation

628
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: with her.

629
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 2: Because it seems like he is on her side. He

630
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 2: just said it like he wasn't.

631
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, you said it like he was against op. I

632
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: trust my partner, but I feel like he's invalidating my

633
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: feelings here. I'm not saying cut off total communication I'm

634
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: asking him to limit it, or at the very least,

635
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: to stop considering attending events like ultrasounds and talk to

636
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: her appointments. You should not be considering going to those.

637
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 2: Instead of picking up every phone call every day, just

638
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: pick up once a week.

639
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: Maybe just cut it down, be very direct and say nope,

640
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: not going, instead of telling them he will think about it.

641
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: I feel that's very personal and inappropriate. Things were tense

642
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: this morning, and I can tell it was still on

643
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: his mind. I think he feels I'm overreacting, and I

644
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 1: feel he is underreacting. But am I the ale for

645
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 1: asking him to limit conversation and there is an update?

646
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 2: No, absolutely not. This is his ex Yes, and in

647
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 2: any other context it.

648
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: Would be really weird and inappropriate for her to pull

649
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: this behavior.

650
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she is kind of family, but kind of

651
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: far family.

652
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: No, she's family. She's close enough that she's able to

653
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: use that as an excuse, but she's far enough that

654
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: she shouldn't be acting this way.

655
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, cut off contact, off contact.

656
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, this doesn't seem like he understands the situation here.

657
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 2: And is probably so minor of a thing in his mind. Yeah,

658
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 2: he's like, I don't care about her. It's like, I

659
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: don't care if she calls me. I don't really care.

660
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that's the attitude. It's like I'm

661
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 1: not gonna cheat, so it doesn't matter.

662
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 2: And he's probably trying to be a good uncle because

663
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 2: it seems like sister in law is always using the

664
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 2: kids and is an excuse.

665
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 1: So true, but there is an update. A lot of

666
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 1: people are asking whether any of her kids are my

667
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: partners and don't worry. My mother has asked the same

668
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: thing when I told her what's happening.

669
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

670
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 1: The sister in law has had several affairs on the brother,

671
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: which prompted the brother to request paternity tests on all four.

672
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 1: The first kid is in his she's already fourteen years old,

673
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 1: though it turned out to be her ex.

674
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 2: The other three are his, okay, all right?

675
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: Who she actually doesn't know that he has done paternity

676
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: tests on the other three. It was requested by their

677
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: wealthy father, who absolutely doesn't trust her. It's a big

678
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 1: reason the brother won't marry her either. Then why is

679
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: he still with her? Like if for the kids, I

680
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: don't understand. The other thing is she is an extreme narcissist,

681
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: so she also invites the father in law to the

682
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: same things my partner gets invited to because she believes

683
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: she'll get his inheritance money.

684
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 2: Dude, she's getting two birds with one stone, the man

685
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 2: and the money.

686
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: She invited him to watch her give birth to the ultrasounds,

687
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: to her doctor's appointments, named her fourth kid after him,

688
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: and for his birthday, took selfies of herself, frame them

689
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: and gave them to the father in law. His wife

690
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: through the mountain said nothing, but I'm just gonna throw

691
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: out that. You can join us live every weekday at

692
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: three pm PST on YouTube. Just tap her profile and

693
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: there's a little bit left to the story.

694
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: But she's working hard here. I like the effort, I

695
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: like the hustle, just strategically, could maybe go about it

696
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 2: a little bit differently.

697
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: Maybe a little bit different. Maybe if we weren't an

698
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 1: awful person, we could get the money. And you know,

699
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 1: stop doing it, Stop doing that. I really don't like it.

700
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: I don't like this behavior. It's weird that you framed

701
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: a picture of yourself for your father in law. I

702
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever thought to give a picture of me,

703
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: a selfie of me to anyone.

704
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 2: Except for maybe like your significant other.

705
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think I would ever frame one

706
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: of those. You would frame a picture of yourself probably

707
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 1: unless it's your significant other. I don't think I would

708
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,560
Speaker 1: ever Maybe my parents, but like that's like has to

709
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: be like a good one, yeah, like a student pick

710
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: or something. The other thing is she is severely obese,

711
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: which I feel my partner focuses on too much. But

712
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: like I said, it's not about her physical appearance or

713
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: spicy sleep. It's the fact that she wants to make

714
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: us unhappy that I don't want her around us, like

715
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 1: why But I had a talk with him last night

716
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: and he actually gave her my number and advised her

717
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 1: to text me if there's ever any family events and

718
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 1: she can't reach him, and then blocked her. Nice, that's

719
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: how we do it, because I mentioned what someone else

720
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: said that he might subconsciously like the attention he gets

721
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: knowing she's severely unhappy with his brother. But he's too

722
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: old to play those games. And that is the end

723
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: of that story. Happy ending.

724
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: I guess nice, that was solid. He kind of came

725
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 2: around to it, figured it out.

726
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: We love that.

727
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 2: We do love that, And good luck with your wedding.

728
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: You're a winner, and you've kept him, and you've won

729
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: him and your sister in law sex, and that's the

730
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: end of that. My friend stole my wedding theme, so

731
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 1: I ended our friendship. I female thirties, got engaged last year.

732
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: There was a small delay in the engagement being official

733
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: because my fiance was having the ring custom made, but

734
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 1: we were one hundred percent planning on getting married. I

735
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: asked my best friend of over fifteen years, let's call

736
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: her Marie, to hang out as I was planning on

737
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: asking her to be my maid of honor. When I

738
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: told Marie that a ring was currently being made and

739
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: I would be officially engaged soon, she wasted no time

740
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 1: telling me that her boyfriend asked her her ring size

741
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 1: one time and she's basically engaged too. Literally, that was

742
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: her response to me saying that I was getting married.

743
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 2: Well, then I'm engaged them.

744
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 1: She's like if he was like, Hi, I just want

745
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 1: to let you know I'm getting married. I'd love for

746
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 1: you to be my maid of honor. She's like, actually, well,

747
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: my boyfriend he was wearing a ring the other day,

748
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: so that's.

749
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 2: Married, and he like asked me my ring size.

750
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's basically that's a marriage. I'm actually further

751
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: along in marriage you. We're basically twenty years married. By

752
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from insomb Nerd on the r

753
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime subredt it Well. I brushed it off,

754
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 1: and when we sat down for coffee, I asked her

755
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: to be my maid of honor and she accepted, but

756
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: made sure I knew that I wouldn't be her maid

757
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 1: of honor because that was reserved for someone else. Typing

758
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,760
Speaker 1: this out, I'm realizing that I brushed off a lot

759
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 1: of things for this woman over the years. Over the

760
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,320
Speaker 1: next few weeks, I started looking at what kind of

761
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: venues are available in our area and started trying to

762
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 1: get an idea of what sort of budget we'd be

763
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: working with. Holy crap, why is everything so expensive? Anytime

764
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 1: I asked Marie for input, she was too busy with

765
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 1: other things, but requested that I save all the information

766
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 1: that I find so she can use it for her wedding.

767
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: I see you, I I understand to a certain extent,

768
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 1: being like, Hey, I'm planning on getting married soon. I'd

769
00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: love if you let me know. You know. It's kind

770
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,240
Speaker 1: of like call like when you're researching colleges and stuff

771
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: and someone's already done it before you. That's how I

772
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 1: would think of But I feel like she's gonna take

773
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: it too far.

774
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: I see that point with the colleges, but I feel

775
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,280
Speaker 2: like it's going to another party to homework.

776
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's coming. Yeah. My fiance and I decided on

777
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: a wedding theme and I got to work figuring out decorations.

778
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 1: By this time, he had officially proposed with the now

779
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 1: finished ring. Marie and I arranged today to go thrift

780
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 1: shopping together for a few things for DIY decorations. I

781
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 1: told her about the theme my fiance and I decided

782
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: on and how I wanted to make the vision come

783
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 1: to life. She liked the theme very much and even

784
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: let me borrow a few of her belongings. Then I

785
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: didn't hear from her for a few weeks. I continued

786
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: planning without her. The next time I arranged to meet

787
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 1: with her, it was to show her the options for

788
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 1: a maid of honor dress I had picked out. Okay,

789
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: I know some people have different friendships, but I feel

790
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 1: like not hearing from your best friend who's going to

791
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: be your maid of honor for a few weeks is

792
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 1: a little bit.

793
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 2: Wait, how how long is the wedding? Did she say

794
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 2: that until the wedding?

795
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, we don't know.

796
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 2: Okay, but still weeks without talking to your best friends

797
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 2: with your best.

798
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: Friend's gonna be your maid of honor? No weird itch.

799
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 1: Her budget is tight, so I kept the options as

800
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 1: inexpensive as possible, like Sheen and Timu dresses. Oh that's cheap,

801
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: those are dresses. After picking address, Marie seemed disinterested in

802
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: the other things I was trying to show her and

803
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: instead spent the rest of the time talking about her

804
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: personal drama. I didn't hear from Marie again and after

805
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: that until I reached out to inform her that my

806
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 1: fiance and I decided for financial reasons, to elope and

807
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 1: we won't be needing a maid of honor after all.

808
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,760
Speaker 1: Marie said she was fine with this edit. My fiance

809
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: and I are still using the theme in our elopement,

810
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: just not having a ceremony anymore. Okay, okay, okay, So

811
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: I feel like, is she just gonna take it? It's like, well,

812
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: you're not using it.

813
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 2: I could see that out on the table.

814
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 1: A few months later, Marie and her boyfriend announced their engagement.

815
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: I found out from a Facebook post, not even a

816
00:36:58,520 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: text or call.

817
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 2: Oh, and she's your maid, Well not anymore.

818
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: They're eloping. Opie said to the friend, you don't have

819
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 1: to be the maid of honor anymore because we're gonna

820
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,800
Speaker 1: Elope gotcham. So I'm wondering if she was like hurt

821
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 1: by that, and so she didn't. You know, she's starting

822
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: to cut off this friendship or something I found out.

823
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,280
Speaker 1: I asked her to meet for coffee and she agreed.

824
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: She's showing off her ring and talking about plans when

825
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: she tells me her wedding theme, the exact theme my

826
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 1: fiance and I have decided on. I even said, you're

827
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 1: doing what Beyonce and I are doing, which she glossed over.

828
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: She also made a point to tell me that I

829
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: was still not going to be her maid of honor,

830
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 1: nor would I be a bridesmaid. I left this meet

831
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,760
Speaker 1: up a little shell shocked. Not gonna lie. It seems

832
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 1: like the friendship is a little bit one sided. Okay, okay,

833
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: that's what it's looking like. It feels like giving a well, oh,

834
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 1: Pi sees her as more of a friend than this

835
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 1: friend does. Oh. You know, it's like oh, you're my

836
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: best friend. She's like, yes, I'm your best friend.

837
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: Does she mean girling this maybe a little bit? Is

838
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 2: Opie's friend Gina George.

839
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,320
Speaker 1: She's Regina George.

840
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:02,800
Speaker 2: And it mmm.

841
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,879
Speaker 1: I confided in a few friends about what was going on.

842
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 1: I needed to know if I was petty for being

843
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 1: upset about this. Everyone I spoke to agree that Marie's

844
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: actions were not okay and I was right to be upset.

845
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: I typed out a message to tell her that my

846
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: feelings were hurt, and she blew up. Among the highlights

847
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 1: of things that were said were, you're not even having

848
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: a ceremony and you're running a smear campaign against me.

849
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 1: I tried to assure her that there was nothing of

850
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: the sort going on, but she wasn't having it. Marie

851
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: has now blocked me on social media. I've shown the

852
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 1: screenshots to friends because I feel like I might have

853
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 1: handled the situation poorly. Everyone has said my texts were

854
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,280
Speaker 1: reasonable and she's the one handling things poorly. I've reread

855
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: them more times than I care to admit. I've come

856
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: to terms that Marie threw away our fifteen plus year

857
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 1: friendship over her stealing my wedding theme. Unfortunately, there's no

858
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: satisfying conclusion to the story. I'm just left scratching my

859
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 1: head over how things got to this point with Marie.

860
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm a recovering people please, So I suppose the recovering

861
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: part really didn't work for her anymore. I don't know, y'all.

862
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: Let me know, am ib a hole and there are

863
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: some relevant comments people please her?

864
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, name three people you've pleased? Whoa whoa?

865
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: This is? This is you were okay?

866
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 2: Oh no wow, No, not that way, just like like

867
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 2: oh we're good. No, no, no, I don't know, Wow, I

868
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 2: don't This will sound like a people pleasing this friend

869
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 2: is definitely what are you saying? Using her? Just like

870
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,439
Speaker 2: training her badly? Like cut this friend off?

871
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: Well yeah, it seems like she's kind of cutting herself off.

872
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: So just you know, letter, letter, drop herself as a

873
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,880
Speaker 1: friend because she sucks and she's stealing. You know, she

874
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:52,280
Speaker 1: thinks you're so cool that she's gonna steal your wedding. Yeah,

875
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:54,280
Speaker 1: but she's got to exclude you.

876
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 2: Crazy. It's crazy how people do this to one another.

877
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,360
Speaker 1: I know what's going on with that? Well, comments vox

878
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: Mornem says, I mean you weren't going to use it anyway,

879
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: you're eloping. Who cares if Marie uses it if you aren't.

880
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 1: I mean it's kind of a d move, but one

881
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 1: that you roll your eyes over because she's copying ideas,

882
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: not one you blast her for on Facebook. But I

883
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: mean it sounds like you two don't even like each other,

884
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 1: so maybe it's for the best you broke off the

885
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: friendship honestly. Yeah, true, Yeah, I mean, I don't know

886
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: if you have to post things on Facebook. I think

887
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: that's just a little petty, that's too far. But I

888
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 1: do think that this friendship is just kind of over.

889
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 1: It seems like they don't like it on them Comfortable

890
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 1: Fix says, I agree with Fox. You're gonna be mad

891
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 1: about something you're not using because it was your idea.

892
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like you've lost anything in this exchange.

893
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: Better to have this woman out of your life. I

894
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 1: feel like it was more the fact that she was

895
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,359
Speaker 1: mad that her friend was stealing the idea and also

896
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:46,320
Speaker 1: kind of excluding her from the wedding.

897
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 2: It's kind of crazy that the friend wasn't even considering

898
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 2: Opie's point of view of saving money and just went

899
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 2: to assuming, Oh, you don't like me, so you're not

900
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: even gonna be my bridesmaid.

901
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're out.

902
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: You're out.

903
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: You're done and taking your wedding idea. You're done. By

904
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 1: the way, you can join us live every weekday on

905
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 1: YouTube at three PMPs to eat. Just tap her profile.

906
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,920
Speaker 1: Op says, we are still incorporating the theme into the elopement.

907
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 1: I didn't give up the theme, just the ceremony. I

908
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: need to know what the theme is though, because if

909
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 1: it's like a beach theme and her friend is upset

910
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 1: about that, Yeah, she's upset about her friend taking the

911
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: beach theme. That's a little silly. But if it's like

912
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 1: really specific, then maybe that's a little bit more warranted

913
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 1: to be upset about. I don't know. I need I

914
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 1: need more, I need more information. Comfortable Spick says, it

915
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,240
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like you're gonna have a lot of crossover

916
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 1: and wedding guests. Have the wedding that suits you, and

917
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: don't let this woman live in your head. And Op says,

918
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 1: I didn't post anything on Facebook. We're using the theme

919
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: for the elopement photos. Oh wait, who said she posted

920
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: on Facebook? I was like, that's a little far, but

921
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: she didn't even do that, so I.

922
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: Think she was gonna.

923
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: Oh, she was like, should I.

924
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,280
Speaker 2: Option? So they were saying you should post on Facebook.

925
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 1: Mate to get back on her. Yeah, I don't know.

926
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: I don't think she said anything. Yeah, I don't even

927
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 1: think she said anything on Facebook. But that's the end

928
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 1: of that story. More of the story is keep your

929
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 1: themes close, ye, and your enemies farther away. That's it.

930
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 2: Wow, my best friend's fiance excluded me from the proposal.

931
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 2: I help plan. I'm cutting them both off. All happened

932
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 2: a few years ago. This girl, let's call her f

933
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 2: I want to say Fiona, but I feel like we used.

934
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: That one, Jona. I don't think we have used that one.

935
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 1: Let's do Fiona.

936
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 2: Fiona and I had known each other through work for

937
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 2: several years, but had never really been close. Then I

938
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 2: got a new job the same place Fiona worked, and

939
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 2: we suddenly became best friends forever for about a year.

940
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,799
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from ex Carricha on the

941
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 2: r slash Okay story time sub reddit. So here's a backstory. Fiona,

942
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 2: I had been dating Will for years. During this year

943
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 2: or so of closeness, I met him and became friendly

944
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 2: with him. I liked Will, but he was kind of

945
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 2: clueless and needed constant direction from Fiona. I already have

946
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,240
Speaker 2: someone in my mind and who This is the entire

947
00:42:56,480 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 2: year of all Fiona talked about was wanting to wanting

948
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 2: Will to propose aaster a year after she's fast. She

949
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 2: had very clear expectations that she wanted me and had

950
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 2: told me as her bff, to let Will know these

951
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 2: things should he come to me about planning. So she's

952
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 2: basically OPI's the middleman.

953
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 1: So Fiona is planning her own proposal. She's like, I

954
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 1: already know what I want.

955
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 2: This ring, this location, these people near.

956
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: I guess if you know what you want, you just

957
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:24,720
Speaker 1: got Yeah.

958
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 2: And Will loves direction.

959
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 1: Will loves to be directed. Oh, Fiona is the director

960
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 1: and Will's the actor and he just needs to hit

961
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:32,799
Speaker 1: his mark and.

962
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,319
Speaker 2: We need Op to tell them that the things she

963
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 2: wanted for the proposal. Want her family to be there,

964
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 2: dad's stepmom, mom if possible, and her BFFs me and

965
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 2: one other girl. Two pictures. She was very clear she

966
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,359
Speaker 2: wanted good pictures of the proposal and would like a video. Two.

967
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 2: Three the rink. She had already designed this herself. And

968
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 2: sit the lick to Will.

969
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: To purchase WI. Wait, what is this?

970
00:43:58,280 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 2: Well is that's pretty funny?

971
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 1: Pretty well, she knows what she wants now.

972
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 2: Will did eventually approach me about the proposal told him

973
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 2: the very clear rules Fiona had wanted for the proposal.

974
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 2: Will was at a loss and did not know what

975
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 2: to do.

976
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:13,879
Speaker 1: What do you mean?

977
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 2: What do you mean?

978
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 1: What do you mean? You don't know what to do?

979
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 1: There was a very clear three step plan.

980
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 2: Thankfully, Fiona and I had pretty much planned the proposal

981
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 2: for this exact reason. They've been together for like eight years,

982
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 2: and Fiona was kind of pressuring Will into proposal.

983
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:30,439
Speaker 1: Oh okay, not a year.

984
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 2: Okay, here's the gist of what we, meaning mostly me

985
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 2: had planned a trip to the beach. As they did

986
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 2: this regularly, we figured out it wouldn't be as sus

987
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 2: They would go with Fiona's family and other BFF. I

988
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 2: would drive up on my own, unknown to Fiona. This

989
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 2: allowed me to set up without having to make an

990
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 2: excuse to be gone for two hours. These set up,

991
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 2: they Fiona, Will and family would take a sunset walk

992
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 2: along the beach to the predetermined area where I would

993
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 2: be waiting. Slash hiding with a camera. Job was to

994
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 2: get the pictures. Other bff wlos to handle the video.

995
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 2: Are you see them?

996
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:04,799
Speaker 1: Mix up?

997
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 2: There?

998
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 1: You think there's gonna you got an ICU.

999
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 2: I see you.

1000
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: It's not gonna live up to Fiona's four step plan.

1001
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: The pictures won't end up.

1002
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 1: It never does. Never does.

1003
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 2: A heart made of flameless candles, will you marry me?

1004
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 2: Spelled out on the sand and beautiful script sunset on

1005
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,399
Speaker 2: the beach. It was perfect and fit all of the requirements.

1006
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:26,720
Speaker 2: I really don't want to keep reading.

1007
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 1: I know this is perfect, perfect proposal. Fiona gets what

1008
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: she wants, everyone's happy.

1009
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 2: No, we're already up, Sophia, grow up. Do what you

1010
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 2: even do for a living?

1011
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 1: I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Don't think like,

1012
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,320
Speaker 1: what are you doing?

1013
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 2: Sorry, it's just it's just just way easier than.

1014
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh it's easier.

1015
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 2: It was It was better. Story. Fast forward to the

1016
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,319
Speaker 2: weekend this was planned to happen. Will text me and

1017
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 2: says he doesn't think he's going through with it this weekend,

1018
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 2: so don't bother driving up the beach. I think, oh

1019
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,280
Speaker 2: he's nervous and check it out right wrong? Will proceeded

1020
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,280
Speaker 2: to invite the family and the other BFF, but told

1021
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 2: me not to come. He ended up setting up this

1022
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,319
Speaker 2: half thrown together a version of what we planned. The

1023
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 2: kicker he never got anyone to take the pictures. The

1024
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 2: only video they have is from the bff's phone. She's

1025
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 2: running along the beach up to Yona and Will. When

1026
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 2: she gets to them, all you can hear is a

1027
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,840
Speaker 2: girl panting out of breath.

1028
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,800
Speaker 1: You just hear, like, Babe, I've been loving.

1029
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 2: You can't hear any boys said, and the quality was

1030
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 2: akin to a mom trying to film her third grader

1031
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: at an He just cring. I was sitting at home

1032
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:06,320
Speaker 2: as my plans had been canceled. It's going through Facebook

1033
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 2: and I see the announcement Leonna and Will are engaged.

1034
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 2: I was enraged. After watching the video, I realized a

1035
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 2: few things. One video was horrible with no pictures to

1036
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 2: make up for it. Two Will had to use our

1037
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 2: proposal plan minus me being there and getting the pictures.

1038
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 2: Three Will had purposeful Lee left me out of this,

1039
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 2: told me to stay home, and then used everything I

1040
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 2: had planned. But it wasn't done well and he had

1041
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 2: messed up the rules. This might make me sound like

1042
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 2: the ahole.

1043
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 1: He's like, he didn't even include me, and he did

1044
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 1: it poorly. It sucked.

1045
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 2: Hope he's trying to be a girl's girl. Yeah, we'll

1046
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 2: save it.

1047
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just want to know why he didn't include her,

1048
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: because it would be one because he's a man's man.

1049
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,320
Speaker 2: He's a man's man and he can do it himself.

1050
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:57,879
Speaker 2: That you're good.

1051
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: Tell me how of purpose, No, sir, no, But I'm

1052
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: wondering why he invited the other best friend, because it

1053
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 1: would be one thing to be like I don't want

1054
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,919
Speaker 1: I just want this to be a family thing and

1055
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 1: you know, uh in a more intimate moment. But he

1056
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 1: invited the one bff who can't you know, take videos properly.

1057
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 2: This is weird. Fast forward a week or so. I

1058
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 2: had congratulated Fiona, but became distant. I was upset I

1059
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 2: planned and was excluded from what was supposed to be

1060
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,359
Speaker 2: a happy moment. I didn't want to ruin her up

1061
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 2: in the cloud high on Live Bliss, so I pulled back.

1062
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 2: Yona noticed and tried to talk to me about it,

1063
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,760
Speaker 2: since we were friends and it had been a minute

1064
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:43,640
Speaker 2: since the proposal. I unloaded tears and anger rising at

1065
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 2: the top. I figured Fiona would have a little sympathy

1066
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 2: also be upset about the way things were done despite

1067
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:56,760
Speaker 2: having clear instructions. She was reasonable, Oh not at all. Nope, alright,

1068
00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 2: some conspiracy theories, okay, Josephine, she is jealous of their friend.

1069
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 2: He is jealous of their friendship.

1070
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 1: I guess, so the year long friendship, or maybe maybe

1071
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 1: because it's only a year long, maybe she had a

1072
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: longer friendship with this other best friend and he's like, oh, well,

1073
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,399
Speaker 1: she doesn't really need to be there or something. But

1074
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 1: I will say, I don't know if it's the best

1075
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 1: thing for OP to be kind of getting mad at

1076
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 1: her friend who wasn't in charge of this proposal, because

1077
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 1: she said, oh I unloaded, like, you know, tears and

1078
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 1: anger at my friend. And I feel like that's a

1079
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: little bit, maybe a little bit much. I think there's

1080
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: a way that she could have done it where she's

1081
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: like and obviously, you know, you can't control your emotions

1082
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 1: all the time.

1083
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking.

1084
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think if she had gone to her friend

1085
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 1: and been like, hey, I was a little bit sad

1086
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: because I wanted to be at your engagement. I had

1087
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 1: like help plan it and stuff.

1088
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 2: You wanna proceeded to tell me I was being selfish

1089
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 2: and making her proposal all about me. I was shook.

1090
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 2: How could she be mad at me for being upset

1091
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 2: with Will? The argument got heated quick and we stopped talking.

1092
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 2: Now it's a about five ish years later and we

1093
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 2: still haven't spoken five years ago.

1094
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 1: That's that's like a I don't know if that's like

1095
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 1: a thing that you should end a friendship over. I

1096
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: don't know.

1097
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:14,799
Speaker 2: Fiona was not about it. She's like, you shouldn't be

1098
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 2: something talk about Will. I feel like I needed a

1099
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 2: second perspective.

1100
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:22,760
Speaker 1: When I know I kind of get both, you know, sides,

1101
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 1: because on the one hand, I understand that OPI is

1102
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 1: upset that she helped plan this engagement and then she

1103
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 1: was kind of sidelined. But on the other hand, this

1104
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: is Fiona's engagement. This is like it is about her

1105
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 1: and she didn't plan it. But like, yeah, so I

1106
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:42,279
Speaker 1: kind of get both sides of this. Yeah, hm, I

1107
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 1: feel like that it's kind of a silly thing to

1108
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 1: end a friendship over, though I feel like they could

1109
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,880
Speaker 1: have communicated a little bit more on both ends, like

1110
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,960
Speaker 1: even ope, after the engagement happened. She just kind of

1111
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: distanced herself, she said. And it wasn't even Fiona's fault,

1112
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,880
Speaker 1: Like I feel like she should have brought it forth sooner.

1113
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 1: If she was something that was that's a problem for her.

1114
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, the wedding was planned and had happened. I was blocked,

1115
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 2: so I couldn't look at them, see what bridesmaids dresses

1116
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,720
Speaker 2: she had chosen, the dress, her hair. I genuinely wanted

1117
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 2: to see, as I was not allowed to be a

1118
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 2: part of that moment. But I was truly happy that

1119
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 2: Fiona was getting what she wanted for so long. This

1120
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,880
Speaker 2: was the other part where I do feel like a bumhole.

1121
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 2: My partner, bless their soul, had not been blocked, and

1122
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 2: could see the pictures of the wedding after going through them.

1123
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 2: We looked at each other and I knew we thought

1124
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 2: the same thing. The pictures about as good of quality

1125
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 2: as any two thousands camera phone, addresses, hair, everything I

1126
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 2: picked apart. I was still hurting for losing my friend

1127
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 2: or being upset at will.

1128
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: Okay, so OPI was basically saying that on Facebook they

1129
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 1: saw all these pictures and they socked, and she was like, ah,

1130
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: if I was there never would have happened.

1131
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's basically what she's saying. By the way,

1132
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 2: you could join us live on YouTube every weekday at

1133
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 2: three pm PSD. Just dap our. Now about five is

1134
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 2: years later, after doing what some self work and therapy,

1135
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 2: I have come to a realization I was a scapegoat.

1136
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 2: Fiona has been so specific in what she wanted. I

1137
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 2: spilled it out for Will, almost to the point there

1138
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 2: was no planning for him to do for the proposal,

1139
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 2: and he still messed it up and on multiple counts too.

1140
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 2: But Fiona had finally gotted what she wanted. She couldn't

1141
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 2: be mad at Will, but she was mad and it

1142
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 2: had to go somewhere. So why not use the pain

1143
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 2: that I was feeling and spin it into some story

1144
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,759
Speaker 2: where I became a self obsessed bride's maid Zilla. It's

1145
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 2: taken a long time to come to terms with it.

1146
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 2: I still haven't gotten to the forgiveness part of healing,

1147
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 2: but I can now acknowledge that maybe I wasn't so

1148
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 2: at fault for this friendship dissolving.

1149
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 1: I think maybe everyone sucks a little bit here. My

1150
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: best friend of twenty years is being awful to me

1151
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 1: now she's stepping down as my maid of honor. Hi.

1152
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 1: I'll try to condense this as much as possible, but

1153
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:01,760
Speaker 1: I apologize if it's long. I think context is needed.

1154
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 1: I thirty two female, recently got married to my now husband,

1155
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 1: thirty two male, Thomas. Everything went great. One of the hiccups, though,

1156
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: was my best friend of twenty years and a thirty

1157
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 1: female didn't come. She was one of my maids of honor.

1158
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 1: I have three maid of honors and seven bridesmaids.

1159
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:21,319
Speaker 2: Wow can you do that?

1160
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,319
Speaker 1: You can do whatever he wants your wedding what you

1161
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 1: can just throw Chuck Chuck Moore maid of honors and

1162
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 1: our engagement was a year long and the finalized date

1163
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,839
Speaker 1: was known for six months. Threw the month lead up

1164
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 1: and had ensured me that she would be coming, and

1165
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 1: ended up telling me two days before the wedding that

1166
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,439
Speaker 1: she wouldn't be attending. The wedding was out of state

1167
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: for about six of the guests, but all in the

1168
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 1: southwest region of the US. I want to say that

1169
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: if the reason for not being able to attend was

1170
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:53,839
Speaker 1: truly because of finances, I would completely understand and not

1171
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: be upset. In the slightest I have been in bad

1172
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,879
Speaker 1: financial situations, so I can understand. However, I don't find

1173
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,799
Speaker 1: that to be the case. By the way, this comes

1174
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:04,799
Speaker 1: from Coven coven eleven eleven on the r slash Okay

1175
00:54:04,840 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 1: story Time subret it for context. In the several months

1176
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:10,919
Speaker 1: leading up to the wedding, and only ever reached out

1177
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,240
Speaker 1: to me to trauma dump. She never asked or offered

1178
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 1: any assistance for guarding the wedding, which was mostly okay.

1179
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:19,800
Speaker 1: I didn't really need much help since we were fortunate

1180
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 1: enough to have a wedding planner. As I mentioned, Anne

1181
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 1: only ever texted me to inform me of tragic life situations,

1182
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 1: which in hindsight now seemed questionable. I know people have

1183
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,280
Speaker 1: bad luck, but some of the situations were just odd.

1184
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:36,479
Speaker 1: What is it? OPI's like she had too much bad luck.

1185
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,400
Speaker 1: It just didn't seem reasonable, didn't seem likely.

1186
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 2: So I just couldn't have that go into my life.

1187
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, God, she had kind of a bad vibe

1188
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: about her, and if I brought her into my wedding,

1189
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: she'd kind of bring that over. You know, superstitions can't

1190
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: be doing that. Unfortunately. I won't go into specifics as

1191
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 1: to keep identities private. The situations. However, if true, were

1192
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 1: all situations that were brought by her own poor decisions.

1193
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,800
Speaker 1: I'll provide some more context, but I mention this because

1194
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 1: I want to express that several times during these events,

1195
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 1: I asked her if she was capable of coming to

1196
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 1: the wedding. I asked her twice when we were still

1197
00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 1: several months out, and again two weeks before if she

1198
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 1: was sure she could make it. As most of the

1199
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 1: situations pertained to troubling her finances, I asked her if

1200
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 1: she was okay to come, As I understood she was

1201
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,879
Speaker 1: going through a lot at the moment, I assured her

1202
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,239
Speaker 1: that I understood that I would not be upset and

1203
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 1: that I would help her further if I could. Her

1204
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 1: responses were either to ignore the question and change subjects,

1205
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: or that no, she would make it happen. With reluctance,

1206
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 1: I chose to believe her.

1207
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:44,120
Speaker 2: I don't like the way OPI is going about this.

1208
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 1: What do you mean say more about that?

1209
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 2: It seems like Ope friends going through something hard. Op

1210
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,240
Speaker 2: doesn't want to be about it. They have other people

1211
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:54,280
Speaker 2: that can replace her. It seems like you have three

1212
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 2: maids of honor. Yeah, I don't know.

1213
00:55:57,040 --> 00:56:00,400
Speaker 1: I do understand it's very frustrating when you have a

1214
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: very big event like this and you do need people

1215
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 1: who are gonna be in the wedding like bride, a

1216
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:07,919
Speaker 1: maid of honor, even if you have three they do

1217
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,760
Speaker 1: I'm as sure have a role to play in the wedding,

1218
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:14,319
Speaker 1: and for like two days before, to have someone back

1219
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: out when you've been asking them multiple times, like, hey,

1220
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 1: are you sure you can be in the wedding? You know,

1221
00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:21,759
Speaker 1: no worries if you want to just like come to

1222
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:23,839
Speaker 1: the wedding, you don't have to necessarily be a part

1223
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 1: of the part like the wedding party. I think that

1224
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,719
Speaker 1: can be frustrating. Yeah, and you've given them so many.

1225
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 2: Outs, for sure, frustrating.

1226
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:35,480
Speaker 1: For some more context, as mentioned, we've been best friends

1227
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 1: for about twenty years. I would say in the past

1228
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 1: ten years, I've noticed a steady decline in her behavior

1229
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 1: and our friendship. When there was a death in her family,

1230
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:46,399
Speaker 1: I wanted to be there, but I couldn't as at

1231
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 1: the time I was in a horrible financial position. In

1232
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,799
Speaker 1: that same week, I totaled my car and had used

1233
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,399
Speaker 1: my whole paycheck to get out of a bad relationship.

1234
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 1: I had no money or transportation. I'll admit I didn't

1235
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:00,360
Speaker 1: fully explain what was going on in my life, but

1236
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: it was only to not add to her plate. She

1237
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 1: was dealing with enough, and I didn't think it an

1238
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:07,799
Speaker 1: appropriate time to dump on her what I was dealing with.

1239
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 1: You guys both what are going through? I think the

1240
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 1: thing is that they're both going through a lot in

1241
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: life at separate times. Yeah, like it's going back and forth. Oh,

1242
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 1: Pe was going through something and then her friend was

1243
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 1: going through something, and it doesn't seem like they have

1244
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 1: the capacity to be there for each other in the

1245
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: way that they both need. That makes sense, Yeah, yeah,

1246
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 1: So I mean I can't you know, if the friendship

1247
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 1: starts to dwindle out because you couldn't be there for

1248
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 1: her when her father or like her family member was passing,

1249
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:37,000
Speaker 1: that's kind of fair for her to pull back from

1250
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 1: that friendship even though you were going through something as well.

1251
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 1: If you didn't communicate that to her, you know, she

1252
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: didn't know.

1253
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you still got to be there.

1254
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 2: Like I recently found out something really bad happened to

1255
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,000
Speaker 2: one of my friends. Yeah, they had a death of family,

1256
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 2: and I was like, I did not keep up with

1257
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 2: them for like three months, and I felt horrible, but

1258
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 2: I knew that they had a process set on their

1259
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 2: own and I'm still good friends with them. Yeah, but

1260
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 2: it's like at a distance, like we still have that

1261
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,439
Speaker 2: Like I didn't seem still pick up where we are

1262
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 2: even though I wasn't there for him in that moment.

1263
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 2: Sure if that makes sense.

1264
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but let's keep going, uh with this story. She

1265
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 1: held resentment over me because I couldn't make it to her,

1266
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 1: and I apologized for years. I did end up explaining

1267
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:17,360
Speaker 1: to her why I couldn't see her, but she was

1268
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 1: still upset. Over the years, she seemed to let that

1269
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 1: go more, but it was never the same. Through the years,

1270
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 1: I worked on healing myself from past traumas and relationships

1271
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 1: with therapy, reading, spirituality, meditation, et cetera. All through this,

1272
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 1: I've been there for her and been there as a

1273
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,560
Speaker 1: shoulder to cry on while she went through multiple horrible

1274
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,840
Speaker 1: and abusive relationships. I've tried so much to help her

1275
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 1: and lift her up and would send books, articles and

1276
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 1: paragraphs to try to help her build her self esteem.

1277
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 1: I tried advising her in so many ways.

1278
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 2: I don't know she can let a person do that

1279
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 2: or like try to force so many get better. You. Yeah,

1280
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 2: she has resources and herself.

1281
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,840
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's seeming more and more as we

1282
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 1: read this, you know, as we continue with this story,

1283
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 1: that Opie's having to put in so much of her

1284
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 1: kind of mental health into this relationship to help her

1285
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 1: friend and wasn't receiving that in the same way. And

1286
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:12,959
Speaker 1: it just seems like they're both going through a lot,

1287
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 1: and maybe this relationship is no longer healthy anymore. Unfortunately,

1288
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 1: I started noticing though that over the years, she started

1289
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 1: only texting or reaching out to me to trauma dump.

1290
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 1: She never asked how I was doing. She never asked

1291
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 1: about my son, her godson, and if I ever mentioned

1292
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: I was going through a hard time, she never asked

1293
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: about it. It became tiring, but I never faltered. Yeah,

1294
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 1: now it just seems like it's one sided. Yeah, she's

1295
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 1: putting all like she's making you deal with everything, not

1296
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 1: giving you any.

1297
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 2: Of that back and suck. Can you try?

1298
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 1: There's no point to this relationship anymore if she's not

1299
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 1: gonna be there for you in the same way that

1300
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 1: you are there for her. Time and time again. When

1301
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:53,520
Speaker 1: I met my now husband Thomas several years ago, we

1302
00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 1: took a trip Demeter and some of my family. My

1303
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 1: family and Thomas hit it off and however, was very

1304
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 1: passive aggressive him the entire time. This ended up being

1305
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:05,280
Speaker 1: the trip he proposed to me. Anne wasn't present for that,

1306
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:07,640
Speaker 1: as an incident took place with her and her then

1307
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 1: toxic partner. The next morning. Anne was aware I was

1308
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 1: engaged the night before, but before saying anything to me

1309
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 1: about that, she vented about her situation with the partner

1310
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:19,439
Speaker 1: the night before, So she's not even congratulating a being

1311
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 1: about the proposal. She's just like, oh, my partner is horrible,

1312
01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. The next morning she eventually congratulated me.

1313
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: For the rest of the trip, she kept making remarks

1314
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,440
Speaker 1: about how her ring was huge, she was married before,

1315
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:36,120
Speaker 1: and how next time she get a smaller one like mine, backhanded,

1316
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: so backhanded, and telling me to be careful with my

1317
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 1: bridesmaid dress choices so I don't get outshined. She kept

1318
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 1: remarking to my then fiance about the anger issues I

1319
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: had as a teenager slash young adult. Now she's trying

1320
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 1: to sabotage things. Not cool.

1321
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 2: She's a crab and bucket all this to say.

1322
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,320
Speaker 1: I thought maybe I was being overly sensitive, but my

1323
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:58,960
Speaker 1: family and Thomas both told me they were very put

1324
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 1: off by her. Fab From then it was all just

1325
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 1: what I mentioned. She never asked about the wedding, asked

1326
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 1: about my son. Nothing. It was only ever to text

1327
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 1: me the tragedies of her life. By this time, though,

1328
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 1: I was dealing with my own personal problems. I had

1329
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 1: a lot thrown on my plate due to a family event.

1330
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:18,600
Speaker 1: I also had a wedding to plan. I was very busy,

1331
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 1: and to be honest, with all the stress I was

1332
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 1: dealing with, I couldn't hold her hand through everything anymore.

1333
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: I would reply when I had time. Yeah, when it

1334
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:29,440
Speaker 1: starts to drain you, it's just not worth it. A friendship,

1335
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 1: like a good friendship, doesn't mean that you can't share

1336
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 1: hard things in your life and you know, ask for

1337
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:39,479
Speaker 1: advice and help, But it does mean that if you're

1338
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 1: always doing that and you're never listening to your friend,

1339
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 1: then it's just one sided and there's no point you're

1340
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:48,880
Speaker 1: making your friend a therapist, and they're not paid nor

1341
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 1: qualified to be that. To be honest, it got to

1342
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:54,200
Speaker 1: the point where I no longer knew what to say

1343
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,400
Speaker 1: she was saying and doing a lot of things I

1344
01:01:56,480 --> 01:02:00,200
Speaker 1: thought were quite frankly stupid and self destructive. Still, when

1345
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 1: I had time to respond, I would attempt to gently

1346
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 1: call her out on some behaviors and support her and

1347
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:07,920
Speaker 1: lift her up. And again, as I mentioned, I offered

1348
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 1: her outs several times. So two days before the wedding,

1349
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 1: I get a text saying she can't make it. Initially

1350
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: I was upset. I waited to reply, as I don't

1351
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:21,120
Speaker 1: like responding to anything when I'm highly emotional. Several hours later,

1352
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 1: I replied that I understood, and pointed out that was

1353
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 1: why I asked. I expressed that I was sad, but

1354
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:29,920
Speaker 1: ultimately I understood. I want to also point out that

1355
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: during the month leading up to the wedding, she had

1356
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:34,600
Speaker 1: alluded to having booked a hotel already. I forgot to

1357
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:37,880
Speaker 1: mention that after I shared my disappointment with Thomas and

1358
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 1: family member, they had concerns of the tragedies even being true.

1359
01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:46,320
Speaker 1: So now he's saying, like, she's not even sure if wait,

1360
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,400
Speaker 1: what's her name? I totally forgot what's her friend's name?

1361
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 1: And she's not even sure if Anne is you know, real,

1362
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 1: even for really she might just be making up these

1363
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 1: tragedies to get out of things, like maybe they were

1364
01:02:57,760 --> 01:02:59,920
Speaker 1: true and you know, to begin with, but when she

1365
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 1: needed them to get her out of you know, being

1366
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 1: there for OP and she's making them up now. But

1367
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:08,320
Speaker 1: I think that now you just know that she's not

1368
01:03:08,360 --> 01:03:10,440
Speaker 1: a real friend. Like she's not coming to your wedding,

1369
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:13,160
Speaker 1: she backed out two days before. This isn't a person

1370
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 1: that you want to keep in your life.

1371
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,960
Speaker 2: She only uses you as a trauma dumping bag. Yeah,

1372
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:21,919
Speaker 2: grabbing a trauma bucket. WHOA, that's real. That's huge. Why

1373
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:22,560
Speaker 2: did not think of that?

1374
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. Some of them pointed out holes which

1375
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 1: tbh haven't even crossed my mind. Again, I'm not a monster.

1376
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 1: I understand that financial hardship. I would never hold that

1377
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:36,440
Speaker 1: against someone ever. I truly wish I could have helped

1378
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 1: with travel expenses. I did buy the girls the dresses,

1379
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: but I wish I could have helped more. But her

1380
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 1: funds were tied up in the wedding, so I didn't

1381
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:46,840
Speaker 1: have expectations that everyone would make it. My issue was

1382
01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 1: the last minute text. I gave her so many opportunities

1383
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 1: to just tell me she couldn't make it, and she

1384
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 1: never responded after I told her I understood. No response,

1385
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 1: no happy wedding day, no nothing. It hurts. Some people

1386
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: in my life think it's time to just cut the cord.

1387
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 1: I wish it was that easy for me. It's not.

1388
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,720
Speaker 1: It's twenty years of friendship, but it appears it's really

1389
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 1: only me holding on. I'm trying to hear out unbiased opinions.

1390
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:13,600
Speaker 1: So Reddit, would I be the a hole if I

1391
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 1: call this friendship quits.

1392
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 2: Load to no content.

1393
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 1: I think load to no contact and maybe having a

1394
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: conversation with her where you express your opinions if you

1395
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 1: haven't already done that, and your frustrations with her, and

1396
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:25,560
Speaker 1: that is the end of that story.