1 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's excited to open up their 2 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: first hotel. Unfortunately, it's grand opening is the same weekend 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: as the annual bedbug Convention, which happens right next door. 4 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 2: Why do the bedbugs have to keep together so much? 5 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 2: Going to cancel my reservation? Just we'll have to see 6 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 2: how that turns out. 7 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: With Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news 8 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except 9 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: we've got a laser and those other pillow pass just don't. 10 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 2: This first laser story is out of Lakewood, Colorado. 11 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: The other day, COB's got a call about a burglary 12 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: in progress around four in the morning. They received a 13 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: tip from a neighbor that the suspect was still inside 14 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: a house, so with guns drawn, the officers made. 15 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:50,279 Speaker 2: Their way in. 16 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: Oh scary, but they couldn't find him until they heard 17 00:00:54,320 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: a sound. The sound, and when they opened the door 18 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 1: to the bathroom, there he was still sitting on the 19 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: commode in the dark, with his pants around his head. 20 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:14,320 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Jeff had as like police. They actually 21 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,680 Speaker 2: leaked the picture of it online and you know, the 22 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 2: guy's like, I'm sorry. I always like to go at work. 23 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 2: It's hard on my routine. 24 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: When deputies yelled put your hands up, the guy's response was, hey, 25 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 1: I'm on. 26 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 2: The cramper said put your pants up. 27 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:34,400 Speaker 1: Then he said you're lucky. I barely made it. Oh wow, 28 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: not really sure what that's referring to. 29 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 2: I think he's more the lucky one there. 30 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: So he's now facing second degree burglary charges, and even 31 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: the cops had fun with it. When they posted the 32 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: video up on Facebook, they titled it burglar caught in 33 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: poopy situation a burglar. His next laser shore is out 34 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: of Nebraska. If foreign governments want to infiltrate the United 35 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: States and steal top secret information, they don't need hackers 36 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: or double agents. Turns out all they need is a 37 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: sexy dating profile. Oh yes, it is, because a sixty 38 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,920 Speaker 1: three year old Air Force lieutenant colonel named David Slater 39 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: could not resist the attractive woman that he matched with 40 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 1: on a dating app. 41 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,959 Speaker 2: We're so dumb, I just have a feeling. Well. 42 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: She claimed to be from Ukraine and referred to him 43 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 1: in DMS as my sweet David. 44 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 2: It's terrible. 45 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 3: Also, nice, super hunky secret agents. 46 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 2: You sound like grew. 47 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: That's got to be close, and she'd write him questions like, 48 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: dear David, what he's shown on these screens in the 49 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 1: spacial room where you work? 50 00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 2: It is very interesting. Please show it to me. She did, 51 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 2: and he's a tops tell me he saw through it. 52 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 3: Unfortunately, sweet David could not resist David, and he answered 53 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 3: all of her questions and even shared classified info about 54 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 3: military targets in Russia and more info about the war 55 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 3: in Ukraine. 56 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 2: And that makes sense because she's Ukrainie. She's probably asking 57 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 2: him questions. I don't she's not real again, Jose, She's 58 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 2: not a really Ukrainian. 59 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: Where and when is Nick dronstrike is a very common 60 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: question on a first date. Yeah. Apparently he just wanted 61 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: to make his Ukrainian girlfriend happy and thought her love language. 62 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 2: Was military interation. 63 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: So he has been charged with sharing info from his 64 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: top secret security clearance, and if convicted on all charges, 65 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: he faces up to thirty years in prison and a 66 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: fine of up to seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. 67 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 2: His girlfriend is not going to come visit him. 68 00:03:56,800 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: Surprising when his Ukrainian girlfriend has ghosted him. 69 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 2: Ah, and he gave her the sec codes too. He's 70 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 2: still saying, I love her. 71 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: David. 72 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 2: This next Lazer story is out of Chile. 73 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: Not too long ago, the original Star Wars trilogy aired 74 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 1: on Chilean TV, and network executives found an interesting way 75 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 1: to play the whole thing and avoid ever cutting to commercials. 76 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: That's a so rare on TV, but their idea was 77 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: to splice ads for surveysa Chrystal beer directly into the movie. 78 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 2: Product. 79 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 1: There is a saloon that they go in, and Star 80 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: Wars true, it would be the smart way to do it. 81 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 2: They went a different route. 82 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: For instance, in the first film, A New Hope, when 83 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 1: Obi Wan Kenobi is supposed to give Luke his father's lightsaber, 84 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: he instead reaches into a cooler and pulls out an 85 00:04:54,760 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 1: ice cold survey. If they just share a couple more beers, 86 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 1: maybe they wouldn't have been at war to begin with, 87 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 1: hand of. 88 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 2: Your blue light saving anyone else's blue the rock, He 89 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 2: just pulls out a beer. Your dad wanted you to 90 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:11,720 Speaker 2: have this. 91 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: Then in the Empire strikes Back, when Yoda is training 92 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 1: Luke to become a Jedis reaches up into the branches 93 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: of a tree and grabs a can of beer. 94 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 2: No what with his mind, though with his. 95 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: Hands he didn't even use the ready you need a 96 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 1: cold one when you're trying intense Jedi training. But maybe 97 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: the most egregious that it happened in Return to the Jedi, 98 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 1: when the Emperor uses the Force to summon a cold 99 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: one way here it is brook only the evil person 100 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: can summon a Yeah. Supposedly the ad agency that came 101 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 1: up with the idea actually won an. 102 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 2: Award for it, but Lucasfilms was not happening. Yeah, I 103 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 2: bet like that's not gonna go over. Well, you can't 104 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 2: re edit classics like. 105 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, they've been considering what to do about it. 106 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 1: Will keep you updated on how that goes. 107 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 2: I kind of hope they don't sue, because it's pretty funny. 108 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: This next the stories out of Styling and Profile and 109 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:16,679 Speaker 1: HQ Beyonce, Harry Styles, that old guy from the dose 110 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: Ekist commercials all people who are definitely cool. 111 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 2: Oh, super. 112 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: Cool? Just you buy the book. But do you think 113 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,480 Speaker 1: you fit into that category? 114 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 2: No? 115 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: Well, a recent publication pulled thirty five thousand Americans and asked, 116 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: do you think you're cool? Oh? 117 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, aren't we like paid to not be cool? I've 118 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,159 Speaker 2: never been cool. 119 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 1: Well, it turns out most people do think they're cool. 120 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: Fifty three percent said they are definitely cool. 121 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 2: I think I'm cool because I know I'm not cool. Alexis, 122 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 2: do you think you're cool? 123 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 1: No? 124 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, well you are awkward. 125 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: She did just flip her hair when she said so, 126 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: I don't know. And we're a little more likely to 127 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 1: say yes. And obviously age mattered to three quarters of 128 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 1: Americans under thirty think they're absolutely cool, and even twenty 129 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: eight percent of seniors would describe themselves as the cat's 130 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: pajamas and I can't get up. 131 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 2: I will say. The older I've gotten, I feel the 132 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 2: cooler I've gotten. Yeah, that's interesting. At least the one 133 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 2: person holds that opinion, and it's you. Yeah that matter. Well, 134 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 2: what about this guy? 135 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 1: He's cool every single day, oh man, Probably because he 136 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: sleeps on a doctor Shoal's jail, energizing comfort insoul. 137 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: It's like, technically cool. 138 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: He didn't even buy that one of his booty calls 139 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: left and in his stead, he's just doing the cool thing. 140 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 2: That sound means. 141 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: Laser Stories has come to an end for the day. 142 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Monday.