1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,239
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,960
Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

3
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,920
Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

4
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,080
Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

5
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,880
Speaker 1: My girlfriend is sabotaging my sister and I caught her

6
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:13,840
Speaker 1: red handed.

7
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:14,680
Speaker 2: I know it.

8
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,759
Speaker 1: To get to the point, my little sister eleven female

9
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,919
Speaker 1: lives with me male twenty one since about four months

10
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:23,000
Speaker 1: ago because my mom's house is not a good place

11
00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,640
Speaker 1: for children. Long story for another subreddit. By the way,

12
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,000
Speaker 1: this comes from throw it Away five six two three

13
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,280
Speaker 1: two three, and if you want to submit your own stories,

14
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,159
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subrend it. I'm Dakota,

15
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,360
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and we're here to give you

16
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,640
Speaker 1: good advice. Goofley, but we don't have all the answers.

17
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,159
Speaker 1: We just know what we do, so let us know

18
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,479
Speaker 1: what you would do in the comments. As Op says, so,

19
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,920
Speaker 1: my sister has always been good so far way better

20
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,680
Speaker 1: grades in school. She's happier and has a new interest

21
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,920
Speaker 1: in sports and normal kid things. So we're kind of

22
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,720
Speaker 1: a happy bunch except for one thing. My girlfriend is

23
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,880
Speaker 1: not the real that my little sister lives with us.

24
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,920
Speaker 1: It has made her extremely resentful towards my mom for

25
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,840
Speaker 1: being such a whatever she is, and my mom deserves it.

26
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,520
Speaker 1: But I spoke to my girlfriend about not letting my

27
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,600
Speaker 1: sister know how she feels so she doesn't feel unwanted.

28
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,440
Speaker 1: But this has not been the case. I found out

29
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,200
Speaker 1: my sister has chores that she has to do, and

30
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,640
Speaker 1: she has additional chores that she does that earn her

31
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,039
Speaker 1: money for extra things like going to movies or for

32
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,920
Speaker 1: yogurt with her friends. Nothing big, No child labor laws

33
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,360
Speaker 1: are being violated or anything. She's not working down in

34
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 1: the coal mines.

35
00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:35,920
Speaker 2: They've got her down at the coal mine so she

36
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:36,960
Speaker 2: can afford ice cream.

37
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,480
Speaker 1: But from the beginning, my sister has missed doing some

38
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,240
Speaker 1: of her basic chores cleaning her room, her bathroom, making

39
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,720
Speaker 1: her bed, vacuuming, and some kitchen stuff. My girlfriend was

40
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,720
Speaker 1: constantly doing it to pick up the slack and letting

41
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,120
Speaker 1: me know about it. I kept my sister home from

42
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,440
Speaker 1: some things she wanted to do with her friends, and

43
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:58,680
Speaker 1: was even more mad that she would lie and deny

44
00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 1: that she didn't clean her back proto. For example, I

45
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,279
Speaker 1: came home several times to find my sister outside playing

46
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,280
Speaker 1: with friends, only to walk inside and find my girlfriend

47
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 1: making her bed or cleaning her bathroom. My sister flat

48
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,280
Speaker 1: out started accusing my girlfriend of lying, but not to

49
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,240
Speaker 1: her face, just privately to me.

50
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:17,880
Speaker 3: Well, at that point, you.

51
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,000
Speaker 2: Know, you guys were kind of it seems like you

52
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,320
Speaker 2: had parenthood thrust on you. Maybe it's a conversation you

53
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,560
Speaker 2: have with your girlfriend and you say, hey, I know

54
00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:27,360
Speaker 2: that you just want to have a clean house. But

55
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,760
Speaker 2: if we're gonna teach her how to do this herself,

56
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,760
Speaker 2: then we can't have you cleaning up after her.

57
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,520
Speaker 1: It's true, let her bathroom get throws, just.

58
00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:41,320
Speaker 2: Her bathroom and her bedroom. Then you just keep saying Nope,

59
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,240
Speaker 2: can't go out until this is clean. Can't go out

60
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,000
Speaker 2: until this is clean.

61
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and no p needs to be like, hey, come inside,

62
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,080
Speaker 1: you got stuff to do? Yeah, inside bathroom, or you

63
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,799
Speaker 1: just let her live in a gross pit until she's like, ew, gross,

64
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,720
Speaker 1: I live in a gross pit. I need to fix it.

65
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,280
Speaker 1: And then maybe you know she'll start doing that.

66
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,040
Speaker 4: Oh that's such a hard one.

67
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,160
Speaker 1: Then if she does, you gotta be like, all right,

68
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,639
Speaker 1: you live in a gross pit. You can't live in

69
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,240
Speaker 1: a gross pit.

70
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:03,560
Speaker 2: Yeah.

71
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,400
Speaker 4: At that point, my kids are paying rent if they're

72
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,000
Speaker 4: gonna let it.

73
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I wouldn't let it get that Yeah better.

74
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,160
Speaker 1: At that point, we're gonna start breaking those child labor laws.

75
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:11,640
Speaker 3: Okay.

76
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,200
Speaker 1: Then on Saturday, I came home after grocery shopping. I

77
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,480
Speaker 1: asked my sister to put away all the groceries in

78
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,000
Speaker 1: their right place. I had to run back to the store.

79
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,359
Speaker 1: I went in the backyard to grab some tools out

80
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,560
Speaker 1: of my shed that I needed to return to my friend.

81
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,840
Speaker 1: On my way to the store. While I was on

82
00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,720
Speaker 1: the phone with my friend in the backyard, I could

83
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:33,320
Speaker 1: see my sister put away all the groceries. Then she

84
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,040
Speaker 1: got picked up by her friend's mom for a birthday party.

85
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,720
Speaker 1: I was in the backyard longer than expected and saw

86
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,720
Speaker 1: my girlfriend walk in the kitchen after my sister left

87
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,080
Speaker 1: and literally pull all the groceries from the fridge, cupboards,

88
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 1: and everywhere else and stuff it back in the bags. What.

89
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:55,120
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. No, I was cleaning her room.

90
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,360
Speaker 2: Wait, I'm sorry, your sister clean a room and then

91
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,800
Speaker 2: your girlfriend went in and just messed it up. Oh

92
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 2: my goodness. If I was the sister, I wouldn't just

93
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,720
Speaker 2: be saying oh, your girlfriend's lying. I'd be like, your

94
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:13,320
Speaker 2: godfriend has lying. I I'd be freaking, like will freaking

95
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:18,160
Speaker 2: buyers in stranger things going, That's.

96
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:21,960
Speaker 1: What i'd be doing, fully fairal at my insistence, Yeah,

97
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000
Speaker 1: that this is all some sort of like.

98
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,599
Speaker 3: You're all in on it. Everyone's trying to get me.

99
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,919
Speaker 1: Also, as soon as I see this, yeah, oh my goodness,

100
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,279
Speaker 1: I'm like running in. I don't even think i'd run in.

101
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,240
Speaker 1: I would just end up telling my girlfriend. I'd be like,

102
00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:36,599
Speaker 1: you're done. I don't think this is working.

103
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:37,080
Speaker 3: Bye.

104
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,200
Speaker 1: I wasn't sure what was going on. I was so

105
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,200
Speaker 1: in denial I guess that I didn't immediately figure it out.

106
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,080
Speaker 1: I actually went out the side gate and drove to

107
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,560
Speaker 1: my friends. I was at his house when my girlfriend

108
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,880
Speaker 1: called me and told me that my sister left to

109
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,600
Speaker 1: the birthday party and left all the groceries out everywhere

110
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,080
Speaker 1: in the kitchen. I don't know why, but I was

111
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,839
Speaker 1: so distracted that day that I didn't figure it out

112
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,760
Speaker 1: until I got that call. I have no excuse for that,

113
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 1: other than I had a lot on my mind. Last week.

114
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 1: I briefly told my friend fifties male about this, and

115
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,920
Speaker 1: he was like, you have to break up with this girl.

116
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,000
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

117
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,600
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, gotta.

118
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,960
Speaker 1: I really am in love with my girlfriend, but this

119
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,640
Speaker 1: is kind of big because it makes my sister's past

120
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,560
Speaker 1: claim suddenly seem true. To conclude to her, I came

121
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,239
Speaker 1: home and my girlfriend was putting all the groceries away

122
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,520
Speaker 1: that my sister had purposefully neglected to do apparently. I

123
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,560
Speaker 1: was so shocked that I watched her finish the chore

124
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,320
Speaker 1: without saying a word as she went off about me

125
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,279
Speaker 1: not being able to parent properly and implying my sister

126
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,680
Speaker 1: needs a different place to stay. I confronted her after

127
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,560
Speaker 1: she was done, but I can't even remember the reasons

128
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,880
Speaker 1: she gave me. I was dizzy from just pure disbelief.

129
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,479
Speaker 1: I know that groceries are not that big of a deal,

130
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,599
Speaker 1: but my head was just spinning as my girlfriend cried

131
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,880
Speaker 1: and told me she was just trying to prove her

132
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,960
Speaker 1: otherwise valid point. I asked her to leave for a

133
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,640
Speaker 1: few days, but now I'm feeling guilty and confused about

134
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,400
Speaker 1: what the right thing to do is. She's been calling me,

135
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,640
Speaker 1: and I don't want to drag this one forever without

136
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,600
Speaker 1: a decision for everybody's sake, But I have zero idea

137
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,359
Speaker 1: what to do, and my girlfriend has lived with me

138
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,440
Speaker 1: for almost a year. And there is another edit here,

139
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,520
Speaker 1: and I think before we get into it, lit it up.

140
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,800
Speaker 1: This is like a wow, Well it's I cannot ever

141
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,680
Speaker 1: trust you again because that's crazy.

142
00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:29,960
Speaker 2: She literally was trying to start a coop against your sister.

143
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,520
Speaker 2: She's trying to cool your sister.

144
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:36,000
Speaker 1: Man, she had a disinformation campaign against your eleven year

145
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,320
Speaker 1: old sister.

146
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,080
Speaker 3: She's trying to.

147
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,560
Speaker 1: Macarthiara, your sister that you took into your home because

148
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,240
Speaker 1: your mother was an unfit parent.

149
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,680
Speaker 3: She's an unfit girlfriend.

150
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:48,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I also have a conversation with your sister

151
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,320
Speaker 2: and say, hey, I am so sorry I didn't believe you.

152
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,680
Speaker 2: I just want to like talk to you about all

153
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,160
Speaker 2: the things you did. I realize now that you probably

154
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,400
Speaker 2: did do all of those things.

155
00:06:58,839 --> 00:06:59,960
Speaker 1: My girlfriend was crazy.

156
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,039
Speaker 3: Ever one was crazy, and I'm so sorry.

157
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,200
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here so you could help me

158
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,520
Speaker 1: figure out she's crazy.

159
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then maybe have a conversation about like, you know,

160
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,360
Speaker 2: next time, if you come to me, I will believe

161
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:14,040
Speaker 2: you because she probably feels super unless unheard.

162
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:14,840
Speaker 4: Yeah.

163
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,320
Speaker 1: And at number two, after typing this and reading it over,

164
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,280
Speaker 1: it hit me way harder, how insane this is. I

165
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,480
Speaker 1: just needed to put pen to paper and it decluttered me. Somehow,

166
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,240
Speaker 1: I'm more relaxed and see more clearly. I know exactly

167
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,960
Speaker 1: what I have to do and want to do. Thanks

168
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,680
Speaker 1: for all the comments. I didn't mean to sound so clueless,

169
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,680
Speaker 1: and there are some top comments here and folks, we

170
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,560
Speaker 1: are like a fourth of the way. Dang three story

171
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:46,080
Speaker 1: estiv three five three says question does your girlfriend live

172
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,640
Speaker 1: with you? Which she does? If she does, can you

173
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:54,120
Speaker 1: make that clearer in your post? So I'm gonna write this. Yeah,

174
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,320
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna write this assuming that she does live

175
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,520
Speaker 1: with you, because that's what it sounds like. How did

176
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,400
Speaker 1: your sister come to live with you? Did you read

177
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,920
Speaker 1: the post what she forced onto you? Guys? Did you

178
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,160
Speaker 1: offer to take your sister in? Did you ever discuss

179
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,160
Speaker 1: any of this with your girlfriend? Your girlfriend maybe feeling

180
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,400
Speaker 1: resentful because she feels like she had no say if

181
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 1: your sister was going to live with you, guys, Well

182
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,560
Speaker 1: she doesn't is she.

183
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,320
Speaker 2: Literally doesn't have a say she has to say on

184
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 2: whether she lives there, on whether or not she wants

185
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,720
Speaker 2: to stay with him.

186
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,200
Speaker 4: Does your girlfriend want kids? Because I feel like this

187
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,680
Speaker 4: might play a role into that too.

188
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,600
Speaker 3: She needs to leave.

189
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,040
Speaker 1: This in turn has caused her to lash out in

190
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,600
Speaker 1: ways to try to get rid of your sister. I'm

191
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,240
Speaker 1: not trying to defend your girlfriend because I don't think

192
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,720
Speaker 1: what she did was right. But taking your post at

193
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 1: face value, you took in another house member without ever

194
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,720
Speaker 1: discussing it with your girlfriend. It's not his friend from college.

195
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:46,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, one crazy thing to say about his sister who

196
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,120
Speaker 2: needed a place to live. And also, you are making

197
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,320
Speaker 2: a lot of assumptions, just a lot of assumptions on

198
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,720
Speaker 2: a post that you didn't you know, fully understand.

199
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:59,040
Speaker 1: The only way to move forward is to actually talk

200
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,000
Speaker 1: to your girlfriend. Maybe she has other concerns about your

201
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,960
Speaker 1: sister living with you. Guys, can you guys afford having

202
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,400
Speaker 1: a dependent? These are all things that you guys need

203
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,480
Speaker 1: to talk about. You also need to confront her for

204
00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:13,199
Speaker 1: the lying which he did. She may not enjoy having

205
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,320
Speaker 1: your sister around, but that gives her no right to

206
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,480
Speaker 1: try and frame your sister for not doing her chores.

207
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,560
Speaker 1: Op says, yeah, she lives with me. I'll change it

208
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,960
Speaker 1: on the post. A little more background. My mom has

209
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,520
Speaker 1: a substance use disorder, and my dad passed away six

210
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,000
Speaker 1: years ago. My mom has turned her house into a

211
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:32,200
Speaker 1: party house. I enlisted but got hurt and discharged. Seven

212
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,880
Speaker 1: months in. I came home to find my sister living

213
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,720
Speaker 1: in a very bad place, and she was completely miserable.

214
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,000
Speaker 1: She asked to go live with me. I bribed my

215
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,360
Speaker 1: mom into letting me have legal custody of my sister,

216
00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,160
Speaker 1: which was not cheap or as simple as I thought

217
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,960
Speaker 1: it would be. But that's done, and undoing that is

218
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:52,560
Speaker 1: not an option. My girlfriend does not work, and yes

219
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,480
Speaker 1: I can afford to support both of them.

220
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,079
Speaker 2: Sorry, your girlfriend doesn't work. And things she has to

221
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,720
Speaker 2: say about you having your sister.

222
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,319
Speaker 1: Live with you again, zero say in that.

223
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,840
Speaker 3: Zero zero say.

224
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,480
Speaker 2: And also the commentary was like, you need to talk

225
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,800
Speaker 2: to your girlfriend. You didn't talk about breaking up. That's

226
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:09,880
Speaker 2: all you need to talk about.

227
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,360
Speaker 1: User I always need Lipchap says you probably shouldn't live

228
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,200
Speaker 1: with anyone while raising your sister, considering you're so young yourself.

229
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,960
Speaker 1: Your age makes for an already awkward, difficult time, and

230
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,240
Speaker 1: adding another person into the mix that you are not

231
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,400
Speaker 1: in a long term relationship or marriage with is a

232
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,119
Speaker 1: bad idea. You didn't mention the length of your relationship,

233
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,280
Speaker 1: but I'm assuming you haven't been together that long. Opie says,

234
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,760
Speaker 1: we were together just barely over a year. But I

235
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,000
Speaker 1: completely agree with you. I will not get a girlfriend again,

236
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,320
Speaker 1: maybe just casual dating, but I can't bring another person

237
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,880
Speaker 1: home ever again until my sister is gone in college

238
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,040
Speaker 1: hopefully it's Lloyd says, she is trying to make you

239
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,960
Speaker 1: choose her over your sister. She is nuts, and you

240
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:50,679
Speaker 1: are far too young for settling for someone so backwards.

241
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,480
Speaker 1: She has issues. Agreed. Opie says, this is almost a

242
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,079
Speaker 1: word for word what my friend said.

243
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:57,520
Speaker 2: Nice.

244
00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,160
Speaker 1: Listen to your friend.

245
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen to that editor, listen to us.

246
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,600
Speaker 1: You can't be here anymore now you're done.

247
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,560
Speaker 4: That's such a wild thing to do.

248
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,600
Speaker 3: To a game two like a eleven year old.

249
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, Like.

250
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,840
Speaker 4: People that let eleven year olds get to them or

251
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,479
Speaker 4: like get frustrated, like when my brother Tate gets frustrated

252
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,960
Speaker 4: by my little brothers. I'm like, bro, you let them win.

253
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,280
Speaker 4: That's on you. Third, you're gonna do anything they can

254
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,480
Speaker 4: get make you mad. You just you got to ignore it.

255
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,600
Speaker 4: You can't let them get on your so.

256
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,360
Speaker 1: Soon as you're annoyed the goal has been reached and

257
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,240
Speaker 1: they have learned how to get there. Well, we do

258
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,520
Speaker 1: have an update three days later. I drove to my

259
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,560
Speaker 1: ex's parents' house on Tuesday and took her the rest

260
00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:46,840
Speaker 1: of her stuff. Yeah, it started out bumpy because her

261
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,200
Speaker 1: dad met me on the driveway and argued with me

262
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,119
Speaker 1: about what he sees as my sister being a spoiled

263
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:56,160
Speaker 1: brat and turning me against his daughter. As soon as

264
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,480
Speaker 1: I started losing it and raising my voice, my ex

265
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,319
Speaker 1: ran out and sent him inside that I told her

266
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,640
Speaker 1: we're over and I'm moving on. She made some empty threats,

267
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,680
Speaker 1: but I just told her to do what she has

268
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,240
Speaker 1: to do and walked away. That night, I took the

269
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,920
Speaker 1: suggestion repeated here to take my sister for ice cream

270
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:17,560
Speaker 1: and apologize. She chose Frugals instead as usual, So we

271
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,640
Speaker 1: went there and I explained how sorry I was and

272
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:21,840
Speaker 1: that I will be better. I told her that I

273
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,560
Speaker 1: totally believed her. She was happy to hear everything I

274
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,040
Speaker 1: had to say. It makes a huge difference to a

275
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,760
Speaker 1: child when you give a sincere apology. I could tell.

276
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,800
Speaker 1: She even texted a couple of her friends to gloat

277
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,839
Speaker 1: that my ex was gone all right now? The hard part.

278
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,120
Speaker 1: On Wednesday, I took her to the park to knock

279
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,920
Speaker 1: the soccer ball around and to have an overdue talk

280
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,440
Speaker 1: with her. I asked her about my ex, and she

281
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,160
Speaker 1: told me that she was mistreated by her more than

282
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,760
Speaker 1: I knew about. She had a lot to say about

283
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,960
Speaker 1: her time at Mom's house during the time when I

284
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,720
Speaker 1: was away. I didn't know how hard it was for her.

285
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,240
Speaker 1: When I enlisted and left, that was hard to hear.

286
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,839
Speaker 1: It was kind of a move to get myself out

287
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,880
Speaker 1: of a situation with zero thought to leaving her behind.

288
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,040
Speaker 1: The short version is that we have all failed her badly.

289
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,960
Speaker 1: She didn't say it, but just everything she has to

290
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,040
Speaker 1: say about how things have gone down around her made

291
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:12,480
Speaker 1: it clear.

292
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,200
Speaker 4: Oh, which is.

293
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,199
Speaker 1: Hard because it's like, you know, so young too, you

294
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 1: can only do so much.

295
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:21,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so sad, absolutely, especially with her history. Yeah,

296
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:25,160
Speaker 4: she needs somewhere that just gives her unconditional love instability.

297
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,080
Speaker 1: When I was first discharged, I got a good job

298
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,640
Speaker 1: working for the city, but I was drinking every weekend

299
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,319
Speaker 1: and my house was the hangout spot for my friends,

300
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,240
Speaker 1: and that's how I met my ex. I was even

301
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,200
Speaker 1: drinking on a lot of weeknights. I didn't immediately take

302
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,520
Speaker 1: my sister with me, even though I knew about how

303
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,120
Speaker 1: my mom was living. My wake up call was when

304
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,080
Speaker 1: my sister called me because the cops were there looking

305
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,760
Speaker 1: for Mom to question her and her boyfriend. That was

306
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 1: when I finally cleaned up, brented a house close to

307
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,840
Speaker 1: my sister's school, and brought her to live with me.

308
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,560
Speaker 1: She doesn't remember that I waited so long to bring

309
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,640
Speaker 1: her with me. She remembers as if I acted quickly,

310
00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,360
Speaker 1: which is totally false and makes me look way better

311
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 1: than I was. It was really shocking and brutal to

312
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,000
Speaker 1: hear things from her perspective. She's been through more than

313
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,880
Speaker 1: I can imagine. She is a very strong person, and

314
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,120
Speaker 1: we have some more left to this story.

315
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're young.

316
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 2: You kind of were given this responsibility with no fore warning,

317
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 2: but stepped up. Hat You have made mistakes, but who doesn't,

318
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,360
Speaker 2: and now you're you know, you're apologizing, you're making up

319
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,080
Speaker 2: for them, you're listening to your sister.

320
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,080
Speaker 1: I think you really did move a lot faster than

321
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,760
Speaker 1: you're actually giving yourself credit for. As soon as you

322
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,440
Speaker 1: were like, all right, no, the cops are looking for Mom,

323
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,000
Speaker 1: all right, I'm making a move. So a lot of

324
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,440
Speaker 1: people would not do that. You know, there's plenty of

325
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:48,800
Speaker 1: people who would have dragged their feet longer because they're like, oh, well,

326
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,840
Speaker 1: I'm only twenty I'm twenty one. I can't do this.

327
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,440
Speaker 1: I can't take care of an eleven year old. But

328
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,640
Speaker 1: you did it, so give yourself props for that. So definitely,

329
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,160
Speaker 1: no more girlfriends for me for a long time. That

330
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,880
Speaker 1: was an emotionally expensive lesson to learn. With everything that

331
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,560
Speaker 1: my sister had to go through while I was being

332
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 1: blind and dumb, I'm going to wait and literally become

333
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,200
Speaker 1: a monk until she's in college. She gets so many

334
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,840
Speaker 1: straight a's with some bees here and there. Get those

335
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:19,920
Speaker 1: bees up to a's. I taught you out of the mud. No,

336
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,840
Speaker 1: don't actually do that. That'd be crazy. That'd be crazy.

337
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,960
Speaker 1: If you did that, you'd be crazier than your ex girlfriend. Okay,

338
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,000
Speaker 1: she's only.

339
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,120
Speaker 2: Eleven, she's doing fantastic.

340
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,280
Speaker 1: Yeah they got a's and bees at eleven.

341
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, dude, I was getting a lot of bees

342
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,000
Speaker 3: at eleven.

343
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 1: Anyways, she has a bright future, and there's an edit.

344
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,480
Speaker 1: I'm sure I'll date again someday, but right now I'm

345
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 1: not ready, not even close. I might be a few

346
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,040
Speaker 1: months away from changing my mind, but a couple of

347
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,480
Speaker 1: years is more likely. And there are some more comments here.

348
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:51,400
Speaker 1: Kathleen says, see about getting a good counselor for your

349
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,880
Speaker 1: sister to help her vent about your mom. She's going

350
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 1: to internalize that as abandonment, and it can really mess

351
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 1: up a person once they hit adolescence. You want to

352
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,200
Speaker 1: avoid that as a formerly single mom. Dating is fine

353
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,480
Speaker 1: as long as you're smart about it. Make certain your

354
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,000
Speaker 1: sister has activities band, swimming, girl scouts, et cetera. Those

355
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 1: are your date nights. She has a sleepover at a

356
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,400
Speaker 1: friend's house, encourage them. You have one at your house

357
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 1: with your girlfriend. Don't introduce anyone until you've been dating

358
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,960
Speaker 1: them for over six months and it's getting serious, as

359
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 1: in really serious. I can see myself getting married and

360
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 1: having kids serious. Summer camps are great for opening up

361
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,480
Speaker 1: weeks at a time to get to know someone. Having

362
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,360
Speaker 1: a cousin who she can visit for a week over

363
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 1: spring or fall break can help too.

364
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,200
Speaker 3: That's actually really great advice.

365
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,320
Speaker 1: Dating while parenting pro tips.

366
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:37,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do.

367
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 2: Think, I mean, Opie said all like I could never

368
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:43,240
Speaker 2: actually date seriously until she's in college. That's like seven

369
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,120
Speaker 2: years away. You know, I don't think it is healthy

370
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 2: for you to deprive yourself of any of those, you know,

371
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 2: romantic just to any romance in your life for seven years,

372
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,320
Speaker 2: if that's something that's important to you.

373
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 3: So I think that's all very, very great advice.

374
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,360
Speaker 1: Opie replies, I got help with finding a counselor that

375
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 1: is really good for her. She has tons of abandonment issues,

376
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,600
Speaker 1: starting from my dad to mom to me going off

377
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,720
Speaker 1: when I enlisted. Literally everybody she loves walked out on

378
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:14,399
Speaker 1: her at one point or another, and user La Fivert says,

379
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,440
Speaker 1: don't beat yourself up. Dwelling on past mistakes won't help

380
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,600
Speaker 1: you and your sister for the future. You've done well

381
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 1: by getting rid of the psycho, now move on. Have

382
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 1: you thought about therapy for both of you? Opie says,

383
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,160
Speaker 1: My sister is going to start seeing a child's development

384
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 1: counselor next week. She's married to my sister's math teacher's cousin.

385
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,080
Speaker 1: She agreed to help and see my sister pro bono

386
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,639
Speaker 1: until I change her medical insurance to a plan that

387
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,360
Speaker 1: her practice accepts. Wow, I'm not planning on seeing anybody

388
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,679
Speaker 1: myself for now, maybe later once things settle. I'm not

389
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 1: sure I have the time right now, and a deleted

390
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,720
Speaker 1: user said, I'm so proud of you for handling this

391
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: so well and of your little sister. I strongly urge

392
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,959
Speaker 1: you to find your sister a therapist or a support

393
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,920
Speaker 1: group so she'll be able to talk to a professional

394
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 1: about all this. Also encourage her to talk talk to

395
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:04,639
Speaker 1: you about this. I also recommend you google Toxic Parents pdf.

396
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 1: It's a great book available online for free, and it

397
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,000
Speaker 1: might help you a lot to understand yourself and your

398
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 1: sister and to help yourself and her. Also, I suggest

399
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 1: you google No More Mister Nice Guy pdf, another great

400
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,280
Speaker 1: book available online for free. Get a free consultation with

401
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 1: a lawyer to determine what steps you must undertake to

402
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,200
Speaker 1: safeguard your little sister from her mother or being put

403
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 1: in a foster home. Best wishes, hope. He says, thanks,

404
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 1: I'll look up those books. But I did get a lawyer.

405
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,680
Speaker 1: I had to so that I could become her legal guardian.

406
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,440
Speaker 1: Court papers had to be filed. There were three court hearings,

407
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 1: and then my mom had to sign off. It was

408
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 1: a huge process where an investigator even came to my

409
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,840
Speaker 1: house to inspect it and interview me. The court appointed

410
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 1: an attorney to represent my sister. A lot had to

411
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,879
Speaker 1: be done. I bribed my mom so I make her

412
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,639
Speaker 1: car payment still so she would sign off. This was

413
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 1: my attorney's idea. Otherwise I would have rad it on

414
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 1: my mom for her substance used to CPS, and my

415
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 1: sister would have gone to a foster home temporarily before

416
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 1: I could get her. Then my mom could fake a

417
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 1: recovery and take her back. It would have been too

418
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,880
Speaker 1: much back and forth for my sister. So even though

419
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,640
Speaker 1: I'm still paying legal fees to my attorney and had

420
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 1: to pay some court fees too, I keep a friendly

421
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 1: relationship with my mom and give her money sometimes to

422
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 1: keep her happy. I know she uses the money on substances,

423
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 1: but sometimes you have to swallow bad pills to get

424
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: to where you need to. Crazy Kitty went to three.

425
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 1: He says, if I may ask, how else was she

426
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 1: being mean to her that you didn't know about, I

427
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,920
Speaker 1: think it would help other people in similar situations, especially

428
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 1: those whose kids have stepparents who don't like them. Was

429
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 1: there anything that, in retrospect you could say, yeah, I

430
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,800
Speaker 1: should have noticed that, Opie says. I would just give

431
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: one piece of advice if anybody is in my situation,

432
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 1: pull your sister aside every single day and ask her

433
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: what all happened that day. I came home from work

434
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 1: late sometimes and would text my girlfriend to cook something

435
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: for my sister. Now I find out that when my

436
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 1: sister was hungry, she would go to the kitchen to

437
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: make herself something, and my ex would turn her away

438
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,640
Speaker 1: and tell her snacking was not allowed until I came

439
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 1: home so we could eat together. Then I would come

440
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 1: home and she would tell me that she didn't cook

441
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 1: anything because my sister told her she wasn't hungry. She

442
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 1: would tell me this crap right in front of my sister.

443
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 1: My sister would keep a lot to herself because she

444
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 1: was afraid to make waves. So you have to talk

445
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 1: to her daily and ask her what all happened during

446
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,159
Speaker 1: the time you're not home. There were other things that

447
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,199
Speaker 1: I would rather not even type, but all of it

448
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 1: along the same line.

449
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god, your excess a monster.

450
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 1: Truly, just a terrible ross person.

451
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 3: This is an.

452
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 2: Eleven year old, She's starving an eleven year old.

453
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: Just a gross just pond scum. Yeah, lady, h good things.

454
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 4: She's not in your sister's life anymore. Because I was like,

455
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 4: can you charge her do something like that?

456
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 3: Would can we sue her for that?

457
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 1: I'd tell her dad. I was like, you need to

458
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,160
Speaker 1: re raise your daughter.

459
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 2: Because you did a pretty awful chop.

460
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. The deleted user says, I know it may have

461
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,120
Speaker 1: taken you long than you wish to help your sister,

462
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: but the point is you did. All your sister remembers

463
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 1: is her calling you because there was trouble and you

464
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 1: stepping in to help her. At your age, I would

465
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 1: not have been financially or emotionally stable enough to do

466
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,679
Speaker 1: what you've done. I think you're an amazing person with

467
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 1: a good head on your shoulders, who obviously loves your

468
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 1: sister very much. I'm happy to hear about your update.

469
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 1: I'm amazed her father reacted that way, because if I

470
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 1: did what your ex did, my father would have lost

471
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: all respect for me. Who knows what she's told him, though,

472
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:31,120
Speaker 1: good luck and I wish you the best. Oh Pee replies, well,

473
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 1: to be honest, I was not ready at all. Financially,

474
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 1: I had two roommates and was still wasting my whole

475
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 1: paycheck on drinking and partying. I saved zero dollars when

476
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: my sister called me. It took me a while to

477
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 1: save money to rent a house. Then I didn't have

478
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 1: the money for the legal fees of becoming her legal guardian,

479
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 1: so I had to finance a lot. I had a

480
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 1: good job, and still I was a total mess financially

481
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: when she asked me to take her with me, so

482
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 1: overnight I had to go from wasting every dollar I

483
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 1: made to totally detail budgeting. I never knew how to

484
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 1: do that.

485
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 3: That's well, good for you, appressive.

486
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is the end of that story.

487
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 2: Yes, you might have I don't know your girlfriend, your

488
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,880
Speaker 2: rex might have treated her awfully, but I think your

489
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 2: sister will always remember that you consistently, when you find

490
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 2: out that she's in a bad situation, have done your

491
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,360
Speaker 2: best as fast as you can to get her out

492
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 2: of it.

493
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're always there for her.

494
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, let that be a lesson. Yeah, change can happen.

495
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 1: You were totally financially irresponsible and you flipped it around

496
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 1: and you're able to learn things.

497
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 3: Two separate people. It's pretty impressive.

498
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 2: But that's also the end of that story. And we've

499
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 2: got another one coming up. My fiance caught me using

500
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 2: AI to write our wedding vows.

501
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 1: Dork dork alert uh chut GPT. How should I think

502
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 1: about that?

503
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 2: I thirty five male, recently had a wedding with my

504
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 2: partner at thirty four female. I meout a stable and

505
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: happy relationship so far, and I love her more than

506
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 2: anything in the world. The prorose when it came to

507
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 2: writing vows. By the way, this comes from throwaway bad

508
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 2: vows and if you usmit your own stories, go to

509
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime suppared it.

510
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Riley.

511
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice. Goofley. But we

512
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers.

513
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 2: We only know what we do, So let us know

514
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments.

515
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 3: And oh P says.

516
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong, I love many things about my partner,

517
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 2: but I couldn't figure out how to put them into

518
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 2: tangible vows. I decided to use CHATCHEBT so I can

519
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 2: have something well written and expressive to share at the ceremony.

520
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: You're the able chat GPT. Uh use all these use

521
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 1: all this information to write something that makes you sound

522
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 1: like I love my wife.

523
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,199
Speaker 2: Sagibta, How do I make it sound like I like

524
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 2: my wife? I don't know how to write that? So

525
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: can you love my wife? Chat chibt? Do you mind

526
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 2: just getting married to my wife? I think that would

527
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 2: be easier.

528
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 1: I mean using it to like make up a rough

529
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 1: draft and then writing your own. Maybe you can get away.

530
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: You know, you get away with that. But if you

531
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 1: have like an II in vow, like it's it's okay

532
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 1: as a tool, like if you want to get pointed

533
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 1: in a direction, then do that. Person You can't just

534
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: let it, let it tell you what it said and

535
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: then go oh, I'll use exactly that Personally.

536
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 2: If my partner, who like we're at our wedding, I

537
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 2: find out that they use shatchyt to write their vows,

538
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 2: I'd be like, why didn't you ask any of your friends?

539
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: Why didn't you talk to a family member get some

540
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 2: ideas from them? And also, yeah, let this stark says

541
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 2: not gay. Not everyone can write. That's not the point.

542
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: My point is that, yeah, some people struggle with writing,

543
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: and like if you use it as like a framework

544
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 1: of like, okay, I should make something like that. Yeah,

545
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: and then you make your own thing. There's nothing wrong

546
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: with that. It's like if you just use the thing,

547
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 1: it spits out. Yeah, that's absurd.

548
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 3: Personally, I think.

549
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,479
Speaker 2: But maybe a better way to look at it is

550
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: like me asking Dakota, hey, can you look at this

551
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 2: and give me some pointers, or like, well, how do

552
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 2: you think this sounds? And then Dakota giving me advice

553
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 2: versus me saying, hey, Dakota, can you write a love

554
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 2: letter to my partner that you know says why I

555
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 2: want to marry them? And then I come back with

556
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 2: that vow yeah, and then say this is I wrote this.

557
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 3: This is my vow.

558
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 2: I wrote this, This is all from my heart. That's

559
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 2: a lie. And he said she found out you know,

560
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,479
Speaker 2: so like he lied about it.

561
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: Let's find out exactly what this guy has done.

562
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: The thing about my partner is that she's very confrontational

563
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 2: and no nonsense. If something annoys or she immediately addresses

564
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 2: it with no room for backing out. I also know

565
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,919
Speaker 2: that she expressed disdain for AI in the past, but

566
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 2: I didn't realize how far the hatred could go.

567
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 3: I don't know how, but.

568
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 2: She immediately recognized that the vows were AI.

569
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,080
Speaker 1: So you did just use the ape because they wasn't

570
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 1: written in your voice. Dude, because it wasn't written in

571
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:56,720
Speaker 1: your voice.

572
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: There is a reason why schools will give you a

573
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 2: zero on an assignment if you use AI to write

574
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 2: the whole thing.

575
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't matter.

576
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 2: If you can't write well, you should not be using

577
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 2: AI to write your complete assignment or your complete And

578
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: it's even worse because it's like, like about your love.

579
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: I hate that, which is like even your example of

580
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: like if you asked me like, hey, what do you

581
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: think about this? And I go chat, give me some

582
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: point of view, like you criticize this for me, and

583
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 1: then I just go, yeah, no, this is what I think.

584
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: It's like you didn't think any of that.

585
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 2: If you just have chat get think of how to

586
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 2: say you love your wife, then you're not actually telling

587
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,120
Speaker 2: your wife that you love her. After I had finished,

588
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 2: she had this angry look and whispered to me, did

589
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 2: you use AI to write that? I couldn't believe she

590
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 2: had noticed that and she was choosing to address it

591
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 2: while we were on full display for everyone. She then

592
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 2: said that I either speak from the heart or she

593
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 2: walks out. I literally couldn't get any words out and

594
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 2: she kept her promise and walked back down the hile,

595
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,199
Speaker 2: much to all our friends and Famili's confusion. She's been

596
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 2: ghosting me these past few days, which is atypical for

597
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 2: her and honestly giving me panic attacks. Most people agree

598
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 2: that calling off a marriage because of ai vows was

599
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 2: an overreaction and that maybe it was a sign that

600
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 2: our relationship would have issues, but a few female friends

601
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 2: have said that they would.

602
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 3: Have done the same.

603
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 2: I don't know if I would have done the same.

604
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

605
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 2: I think I would have had a conversation after, and

606
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 2: I would have said how hurt I was. I don't

607
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 2: know if I would have left the altar.

608
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,719
Speaker 1: I would have been like, all right, I'll give you

609
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 1: ten minutes. Yeah, calling off the whole marriage because of it,

610
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 1: it does seem it seems ridiculous.

611
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I absolutely would be incredibly hurt.

612
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be like to come.

613
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I just think I would think

614
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 2: like a little bit less of my partner in that moment,

615
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 2: and that's like a terrible way to.

616
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 3: Start it off.

617
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 2: Just it feels like copying someone else's work. And at

618
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 2: the end of the day and Paton trying to pass

619
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 2: it off as your own. I'm hurt and honestly just

620
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 2: needed it to help make the day more special. Is

621
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 2: it worth fixing?

622
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,479
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, just we're making fowls that are in

623
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:05,439
Speaker 1: that you wrote?

624
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 3: Is it worth fixing?

625
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: Get AI?

626
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 4: You should do and AI can help you get a

627
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 4: better answer.

628
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 1: Wow, you should ask chat GPT how to fix this.

629
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 4: Also, look, it sounds like you've never really used your

630
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 4: head in your whole line. You just go with the flow,

631
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 4: do whatever you think other people want you to do.

632
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 4: Have you ever had a critical thought?

633
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 2: I just she was at the altar and said just

634
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 2: say anything anything from the heart.

635
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 1: Can understand you feel like frozing up there because it's

636
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 1: like she's also like or I walk and then it

637
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: becomes like a wait, well I know I can't say anything.

638
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: Wait that does happen?

639
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 2: But I think in her shoes, you know, it's like, wow.

640
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 3: You can't even think of anything.

641
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty bad.

642
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 3: At It's okay. I screwed up.

643
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 2: I didn't check this post for a while because I

644
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 2: wanted more points of view instead of just getting torn

645
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: to shreds. But I understand why the situation is worse

646
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 2: than I thought it was. I've been trying to contact

647
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 2: my partner's family to see if I can talk to

648
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 2: her again, but apparently she's been staying out of state

649
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 2: with her sister. I'm going to tell her when she

650
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: gets back what.

651
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 3: I heard here and that I understand.

652
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: I'm also going to write new vows without AI and

653
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: bring her favorite flowers and snacks. I still want her

654
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 2: to know that I love her and know her. I

655
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 2: will post an update when I can. Yeah, that's the solution.

656
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 2: It's writing the vows.

657
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 1: It was right there in front of you the whole time.

658
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: She even told you she doesn't like Ai.

659
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 2: Brauh, that's the thing she said about He was like, well,

660
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that the most important day of our lives,

661
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 2: she wouldn't want me to use chatchyb tea to make

662
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: up things that I didn't realize that would hurt her.

663
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could have literally just said I can't wait

664
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 1: to spend the rest of my live with you, the

665
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 1: only person I could ever imagine doing this with.

666
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 3: Boom love you again.

667
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 2: I really don't think it matters if it is not

668
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 2: the most unique thing doesn't have to be. If your

669
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 2: partner knows you, then she probably knows You're not like

670
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,640
Speaker 2: the best writer. If my partner had never really like

671
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 2: written a lot of creative stuff, I wouldn't expect them

672
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 2: to give me the most beautiful poetry I've ever heard.

673
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 2: I just want to hear it from their heart.

674
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: That's it.

675
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 4: Just a little something. It does even so something like

676
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 4: she was asking for that much.

677
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: No, probably just was like fiance's name. Yeah, what can

678
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: I say? We've been through a lot. Yeah, the ups

679
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: and downs, the twists and turns.

680
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I bet I bet it was. Redditors

681
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 2: are telling him that he effed up massively questioned the

682
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: love for his fiance if he can't think of one

683
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 2: thing to write, and ask about the state of society

684
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 2: if wedding vows are now written with AI. They also

685
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 2: want to see the vows to laugh at ope he

686
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 2: does not deliver. Yeah, give us the vows. Give us

687
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 2: the vows.

688
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I already gave you the intro.

689
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 2: Okay, Billy Times says, why is he asking Reddit and

690
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 2: not chat? Gibt, Honestly, you should have asked Reddit to

691
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: write your vows.

692
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

693
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, the crowdsourcing would be better than AI, which technically

694
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 1: is crowdsourcing, but just on a massive.

695
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 2: Level comments by op massively downvoted if the post was

696
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 2: also written with AI. No, I could write this just fine,

697
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: which I think because this post is not poorly written,

698
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 2: it makes sense grammatically. We're all good there. So all

699
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: the people saying like, oh, you know what, if he's

700
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 2: just bad writer, he can write this just fun.

701
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: She just said a vow to be cool and a

702
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: vow to always laugh at your jokes, and I vow

703
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: that I will get you flowers I don't know, and

704
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: I vow that you are pretty.

705
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 2: For the vows, it was different because I wanted them

706
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 2: to be perfect, and there was just a lot I

707
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 2: wanted to say that I ended up not being able

708
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 2: to say anything. I didn't realize she'd be able to

709
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 2: tell right away when I spoke of her to staying

710
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: for AI. People are making it seem like it was

711
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 2: a deal breaker that I simply ignored, which isn't the case.

712
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 2: I didn't understand that it meant that much to her,

713
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 2: and I definitely won't be making the same careless mistake again.

714
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: No, No, Now you sound like the dumbest person on earth.

715
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: It's you don't think your wedding vows need to be

716
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:13,719
Speaker 1: written by you. You don't think those should come from

717
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: your mind? Are you the dumbest guy?

718
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 3: Yeah?

719
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: Like, did you even Oh my god, If I'm and

720
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: I see this post, I'm like, oh, we're definitely not

721
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: getting back together.

722
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 2: The thing is, I'm wondering if he even like gave

723
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 2: chat direction. Was he like, oh, well, she's like really beautiful.

724
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 3: Oh she does this.

725
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: You know she's got this hobby. Can we put that in?

726
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 2: Or was he just like give me wedding vows.

727
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: We'll never know because we'll never know because he's a

728
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: shame and he won't show us.

729
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: This is my first time using it to write text,

730
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: and this whole that was the first time you used it,

731
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 2: and this whole situation scared me off.

732
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 3: It for a good.

733
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: If I can fix things, hopefully I won't fall into

734
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 2: a slippery slope. I was involved in the wedding process.

735
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 2: She's always asked for my opinion, and we came to

736
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: decisions together. I also paid for half. I'm not some freeloader,

737
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: because if I was, she would have kicked me to

738
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 2: the curb a lot sooner. I actually thought getting out

739
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 2: from the efficient would be less authentic.

740
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: I mean, getting help from the guy who's there at

741
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: your wedding? That guy, it would be less authentic if

742
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: you used a human being instead of a robotic amalgamation

743
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 1: of all of human thought.

744
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 2: I guess I took an even worse route without realizing

745
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: if OP is neuro divergent, which some people in our

746
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,479
Speaker 2: shot have been asking. This has been brought up before,

747
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 2: but I don't have a reason to believe it's true.

748
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 2: I've seen two psychiatrists and none of them had mentioned

749
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: wanting to get me tested or anything. I think I

750
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 2: might just be a Dumbo. And there is an update.

751
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host.

752
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: Here.

753
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

754
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. Please I second that diagnosis. Yeah, man,

755
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: big of floppy ears flying through the sky, elephant man,

756
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 1: because you Dumbo.

757
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 2: The thing is if she has said if he knows

758
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: that she has disdained for AI. I'm sure she's said

759
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 2: something along the lines of things that I have said,

760
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 2: you know, about using AI to write creative works. So

761
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 2: I'm just wondering how he missed it.

762
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: You didn't have a single inkling that maybe that's not

763
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: a great idea.

764
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 4: I think they're done for I don't think there's any

765
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 4: coming back.

766
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 2: When we start having AI write poetry and do art

767
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 2: instead of ourselves.

768
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: We're there. It's already done, and it's over. The end

769
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: the end.

770
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 2: The end of art update about two months later. I

771
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,720
Speaker 2: honestly wasn't planning to do an update after all, because

772
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,279
Speaker 2: of how humiliating this entire situation has been. I didn't

773
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 2: want to give more of a reason for people to

774
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 2: rip me apart. But now that my story is posted

775
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 2: on a popular YouTube channel, make It Deuce. Now it's

776
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 2: on this channel, there probably won't be much of an

777
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 2: escape route for me. There's no doubt people we know

778
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 2: will find now, so I wanted to give the short

779
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,919
Speaker 2: update everyone has been itching to get.

780
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 3: I did what I.

781
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 2: Said previously and told her about the Reddit post and

782
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 2: the replies gave me her perspective and that I was sorry.

783
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,919
Speaker 3: She ended up getting even more angry.

784
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,439
Speaker 2: With me about posting our business even though our names

785
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 2: weren't mentioned, and that she couldn't believe I needed online

786
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: strangers to tell me why I was wrong.

787
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:17,360
Speaker 1: You can you can't go to online strangers when Linda,

788
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna disagree with you. Linda in the comment says,

789
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 1: you guys are looking at it from the point of

790
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: view of content creators. You can't see it from the

791
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 1: perspective of someone who's not creative. But that's the thing, Linda,

792
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 1: everyone's created.

793
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 3: Everyone's creative.

794
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 1: Unless you're illiterate and cannot actually write because you do

795
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: not know how to write in language, then I don't

796
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: think it should be used. And you're not using well.

797
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: I guess you could dictate to chat gip think that you.

798
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 3: Can use it.

799
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: You can short of that as again, you can.

800
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 1: Use people are creative. It does it? You're not writing,

801
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: you know, Stephen King.

802
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 2: I think people are afraid to be bad at things,

803
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 2: and being bad at things.

804
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 3: Is the only way to be good at things.

805
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,919
Speaker 2: It's true, and I hate to be bad at things.

806
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 1: The notion that people that there are people who are

807
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 1: creative and people who aren't creative is I think it's

808
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 1: fun a myth that has been spread even you, Shannyap.

809
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: You are creative. You can create.

810
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 2: Anyone can cook. It is scary to create because you

811
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 2: fear judgment. But I think it's also a really good

812
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 2: thing to remember that. A lot of my teachers in

813
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: school always told me, not all of your work has

814
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 2: to be shown to everyone. Some of your work can

815
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 2: just be for you. You can write a bad poem

816
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:27,720
Speaker 2: and you don't gonna have to show.

817
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:28,280
Speaker 3: It to anyone.

818
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:32,919
Speaker 1: Yeah. A great exercise that Dan Harmon talks about who's

819
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: the guy he made community is people who get stuck

820
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 1: because they're writing. They're like, oh, it's gonna be bad. You

821
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: do the exercise if you try to. You try to

822
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 1: make the worst thing you could make on purpose. Yeah, Like,

823
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna write my wedding vows as bad as I

824
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 1: possibly can, and you realize it's not actually as bad

825
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 1: as you possibly could make it. So then you just

826
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 1: try to make it a little bit better, and you

827
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: make it a little bit better.

828
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 2: And I'm not like there have been so many times

829
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 2: in my life where I will rely on my friends

830
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,399
Speaker 2: and my family and say, like, I'm stuck at this part.

831
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: I'm getting writer's block.

832
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 3: What do you think?

833
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 2: Can you bounce off ideas? And then you take those

834
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 2: ideas and you're like, you know what, Okay, now I can.

835
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: Figure it out. There you go anyway, there's a little

836
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 1: bit left.

837
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 2: Also, apparently my mom was texting her about paying back

838
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 2: all the wasted wedding money. And she used that against

839
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 2: me too, which I don't think is fair. I have

840
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,760
Speaker 2: no control over what my family does. Snacks and flowers

841
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 2: didn't do much. She refuses to give me another chance,

842
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 2: even after offering to go to couples counseling. So yeah,

843
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 2: the wedding is never happening again.

844
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 3: It's over.

845
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 2: This has been the more horrendous time in my life.

846
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 2: I've thought about giving up altogether. Meanwhile, she's posting about

847
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,720
Speaker 2: brunch with friends on our social media. Makes me wonder

848
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 2: how she could move on that fast while I'm a wreck.

849
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,760
Speaker 2: Social media is a lie. Social media is fake. Social

850
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 2: media is the best parts of people's lives, is incredibly catered,

851
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: credibly edited.

852
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 1: I think you might want to take this as also

853
00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 1: the sign that if this was able to completely the

854
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: up end your marriage, that it probably wasn't long for

855
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 1: this world anyway.

856
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,879
Speaker 2: People have accused me of not caring about her enough

857
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 2: to write my own vows. Yet the difference in our

858
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: reactions to splitting up.

859
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,280
Speaker 1: Says the reverse.

860
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 2: Hope you're all happy, feel free to rub salt in

861
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 2: the wound. I'm not coming back to this count. I

862
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 2: don't think that you don't care for her, but I

863
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,360
Speaker 2: think that she took that as a sign that you

864
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 2: don't and it really really sucks that this was the

865
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 2: end of your relationship. I do think, you know, she

866
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 2: had a bit of an overreaction. There a lesson learned

867
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 2: for next time, and I think that you know, you

868
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,399
Speaker 2: guys will both find people that are a little bit

869
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 2: better fits for you.

870
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 1: She can find the guy who lives in a pit

871
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 1: and uses no technology.

872
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 4: Well that's the end of that one. We got the

873
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 4: next one coming up. I'm waiting for Kion come up here.

874
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 5: Hello, it's me again.

875
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 2: All right, let's get into his next dowry.

876
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: He's johnio Og host here. We're gonna get back to

877
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 1: the stories, but here's a quick three minute break of

878
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: ass from more sponsors. I'm helping an open marriage couple

879
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: and they might end up divorced.

880
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 3: Doesn't sound like you're helping.

881
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, everyone, I've been running a spiritual slash mystical

882
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 1: advice group for a few years, and every so often

883
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 1: I get stories that stop me in my tracks. This

884
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 1: one came from a couple, or mainly the husband I've

885
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 1: been trying to help, and I'd love some outside perspectives,

886
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: especially from people who understand open relationships better than I do.

887
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user adventures Drink seven

888
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,720
Speaker 1: to seven four from the r slash showcase Storytime subur

889
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: at it And if you want to submit your own stories,

890
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 1: why don't you go there and submit them. I'm Dakota,

891
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we are here to give

892
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: you good advice. Goofly because we don't have all the answers.

893
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: We only know what we do, So let us know

894
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,400
Speaker 1: what you would do in the comments, and Opie says,

895
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 1: here's the situation. There's a married couple. He's thirty eight,

896
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: she's thirty six. They've been in an open marriage for

897
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,359
Speaker 1: a while, and by their account, it's worked beautifully up

898
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:55,280
Speaker 1: until now. They have very specific boundaries that both agreed

899
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 1: on from day one. Each of them can have two

900
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: regular outside partners. Everyone must be clean, sober, and fully consenting.

901
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: Every encounter is recorded party for safety, partly because they

902
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 1: both enjoy watching the replays. And here's the big one.

903
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 1: The spouse must be allowed to watch during every encounter,

904
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: no exceptions.

905
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 5: There's a chair in the corner. Okay, they have a

906
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 5: specific chair. You can't sit in that chair it's for

907
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:20,919
Speaker 5: one of them.

908
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 2: I recently saw a really funny skit, but I can't

909
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 2: remember where I saw it. It was like a skit

910
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 2: where there was an improv thing where they were doing

911
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 2: like we're selling cockchairs you want. I think it was

912
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 2: on Dropout and they were like, we've got hotel chair,

913
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 2: we've got cold metallic chair, we've got a doorway.

914
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 3: It's a really funny skit. I saw some noise.

915
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 1: I saw like a real today that was like cockchair

916
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: top moves and it was all just like scenes from

917
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 1: Whiplash with JK. Simmons character like like like like doing

918
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 1: the clap or like waving his arm like walking away.

919
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 5: Are you rushing or are you edging?

920
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,240
Speaker 1: Yeah? Not my tempo.

921
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,320
Speaker 3: Recommend that episode.

922
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 1: I think it's don't recommend another show's episode.

923
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 3: It's really funny.

924
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 1: I recommend only ever watching this show and all of

925
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: its episode makes not allowed to watch a single thing

926
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: besides this. Okay, fine, for all eternity.

927
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 3: Whatever.

928
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 1: Fridays are his nights, Saturdays are hers. Everything went smoothly

929
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 1: until one of her partners suddenly announced he didn't want

930
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 1: the husband watching anymore. The wife came to her husband

931
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: and said he'd need to step out of the room

932
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:36,439
Speaker 1: from now on because this partner felt uncomfortable being observed. No, no, no,

933
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,280
Speaker 1: that partner goes bye bye now. Oh you're not comfortable

934
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 1: with the arrangement. Goodbye, goodbye, now bye bye. Yeah, I'm

935
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 1: not comfortable with any of this. The husband reminded her

936
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: that the watching rule is non negotiable. That's the foundation

937
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 1: that keeps things transparent. If the partner can't accept that,

938
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: she should find someone else. She told him he was

939
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: being rigid and controlling. Yes, I am being rigid based

940
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: on the guidelines that we set for our open marriage.

941
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 2: I'm actually right here in subsection C, it says that, uh,

942
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 2: you can't do that.

943
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 1: He said. It's not control, its trust. She said to

944
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 1: give him time and that he'd come around m weeks past.

945
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: Every time this same partner came over, she'd ask the

946
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: husband to step out. She insisted it was temporary, but

947
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,760
Speaker 1: he started noticing odd things like missing chunks of time

948
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: in the recordings. He'd see himself leave the room at

949
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 1: eight oh five, but the video wouldn't resume until nine thirty.

950
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: When he asked, she said it was just a camera glitch.

951
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: He didn't buy it all right. I'm just gonna stop

952
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 1: right now and say these people should stop.

953
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,120
Speaker 5: I was gonna say they had a perfect execution of like,

954
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 5: you know, we communicated things. This is working for us.

955
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 5: What works as works, and these are like non negotiables,

956
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 5: and now we're negotiating the non negotiables.

957
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, the whole point is that they are non negotiable.

958
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 3: Yeah.

959
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 2: I think you just say like, I think my advice

960
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 2: would be like, well, you made rules, and if you

961
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 2: want to change the rules, then that changes the relationship.

962
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 5: Bingo.

963
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: So he told her if I can't watch you live,

964
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 1: then you can't watch me live either. You can see

965
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 1: it on video like I do. She got angry and

966
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,399
Speaker 1: said he was doing it to get back at her.

967
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: He told her it was about fairness. That argument blew up,

968
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 1: and he left to stay with his brother. She texted

969
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: and called, saying he was being dramatic and overreacting. A

970
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 1: week later, she promised that the partner had agreed to

971
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: let him watch again, so he came back. Everything seemed

972
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 1: fine at first until halfway through the same partner suddenly

973
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 1: stood up and said, I can't do this. You need

974
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: to leave the room. You leave the rule. But this

975
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 1: is the sudden clarity of I can't do this, I'm

976
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 1: going home.

977
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

978
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 1: Instead you're like, you need to leave.

979
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 3: I can't do this.

980
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 5: Your husband needs to leave the room, and you're like, buddy,

981
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 5: this is my house, my house.

982
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 3: But ely, yeah, you need to leave. I'm not finished

983
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 3: with your wife.

984
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: You need to leave New Syrup. Now the wife is

985
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: stuck between the two of them. She doesn't want to

986
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:12,959
Speaker 1: upset either man. That's a problem. That's why I feel

987
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 1: like so many of these open relationship open marriage situations

988
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 1: are nonsense, because then this happens and it's like, oh, well,

989
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: now I'm just not doing it anymore.

990
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 5: It was working perfectly fine until one not even one

991
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 5: of the partners. It was one of the core open

992
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 5: relationship people. It's someone that came in and is saying,

993
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 5: this is weird. If you don't feel comfortable.

994
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: Leave yeah, And it's like, why are you even entertaining

995
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: this other guy? The partner like who you like more?

996
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: Who you want more? She tries to talk through it.

997
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 1: In the middle of the act, the husband says, you

998
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 1: know what, I'll just leave and walks out. She sighs

999
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 1: but doesn't try to stop him.

1000
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, just like I've tried to have a genuine

1001
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 5: conversation with you, huh, you know, like just middle doing that.

1002
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 1: That was the last straw. He's now staying with his

1003
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: brother again, ignoring her calls. He told me he's seriously

1004
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,279
Speaker 1: considering divorce, not because she slept with someone else, of

1005
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,280
Speaker 1: course that's part of the arrangement, but because she didn't

1006
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: defend the rules that made their open marriage work. He said,

1007
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 1: if she can bend one boundary, she can bend them all.

1008
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, I think divorce hurt dog. Yeah, I

1009
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: think it's over.

1010
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 3: It's over.

1011
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 1: It's joke, and it's both of your faults. No, yes,

1012
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 1: I disagree.

1013
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 3: I don't think it's his fault.

1014
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: It was working until this moment, and that moment was

1015
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 1: always going to come.

1016
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,439
Speaker 2: But you can say that about any marriage that ends

1017
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 2: with like cheating or divorce. I think everything works until

1018
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 2: you break a promise or a vow, and it may

1019
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 2: be harder in these situations, but I don't know, as

1020
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 2: long as you are upholding those vows and promises, I

1021
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 2: don't think that's his fault for having set parameters.

1022
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 5: I think it's the same thing if like, like you

1023
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 5: just said, Sophia, like even if they weren't open and

1024
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 5: it was just like, you know, we're just a monogamous relationship.

1025
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 5: Then they had one specific rule or like a rule

1026
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 5: like you know, Saturdays are for us, and she's like, hmm,

1027
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 5: well Saturday, I'm gonna hang out with my friends, and

1028
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 5: like I can bend the rule, but you can't do that,

1029
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 5: and like you say, well, he's like, I'm gonna hang

1030
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 5: out with my friends and she's like no, no, no, you

1031
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 5: can't do that.

1032
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, Opie continues, he's highly suspicious of substances or something

1033
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 1: taboo that he might not approve of, which he plans

1034
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,359
Speaker 1: to explain later. I've been doing my best to help

1035
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 1: them communicate, but it's mainly him who is upset. Honestly,

1036
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 1: I'm torn. Part of me thinks he's reacting out of

1037
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 1: hurt and fear of betrayal. Another part of me sees

1038
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 1: this as a deep breach of trust, especially with the

1039
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 1: missing footage. So I'm bringing this story here to neutral ground.

1040
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 1: If you were in this situation, would you see this

1041
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 1: is fixable? Is the husband being too strict about the rules,

1042
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: or is the wife showing that she's no longer honoring

1043
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:53,240
Speaker 1: the agreement? Definitely the second part.

1044
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that you have to be strict when

1045
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 2: you are engaging in a relationship like this because there

1046
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: are there are so many ways that it could go

1047
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 2: wrong and it is a lot easier to make mistakes.

1048
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 3: So I think you have to be really strict on the.

1049
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 2: Rules or just as a mark.

1050
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1051
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 5: And the fact that he's communicating like, hey, you're going

1052
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 5: back on these rules and like this isn't fair what

1053
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 5: we agreed upon and she's like so what.

1054
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're prioritizing your partner over your husband and that's

1055
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 2: no go.

1056
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: It does feel like there's some other element here that

1057
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 1: we are not tapped into.

1058
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 5: I personally think it can be resolved as long as

1059
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 5: she can be like, you know what, you're right, we're

1060
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 5: going out of line of the rules. I'm breaking the rules.

1061
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I'm going to stop seeing this guy. Yeah,

1062
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 5: and that's it.

1063
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be the only resolution. But that is

1064
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 2: the end of that story. And we've got some comments from.

1065
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: The video ooh with a special kiss, my.

1066
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 2: Mother in law try to steal my baby And this

1067
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 2: was posted December seventh. The TLDR from story one is

1068
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,720
Speaker 2: Opie is a British mom living in the US after

1069
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 2: she has her baby or mother in law suddenly becomes

1070
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 2: obsessed with Opie's daughter and starts acting like the baby

1071
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 2: is hers. I remember this one. Opie tries to set rules,

1072
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 2: but the behavior gets scary, constant gifts, weird claims, and

1073
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 2: then a full meltdown that ends with a break in

1074
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 2: and a dangerous knife incident. Opie and her husband take action,

1075
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,919
Speaker 2: move away, and get the woman into a psychiatric care.

1076
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 2: Now the whole community is talking and Opie wants to

1077
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 2: know if cutting her off for good was the right choice.

1078
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 2: If you're curious to know the full story, you can

1079
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 2: go watch the full video.

1080
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,800
Speaker 1: If you're bringing the knife around my baby, it's done.

1081
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 5: I remember the story that was with their special guests.

1082
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: Can't bring a knife around my baby? What if he

1083
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 1: learns how to become a Special Forces operator?

1084
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 3: Know want that?

1085
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 5: And we do have some comments, But yeah, I think

1086
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 5: the way we went about it's like, at the end

1087
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 5: of the day, it's the safety of your child.

1088
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 3: You gotta get it out out there.

1089
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 1: All right.

1090
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 5: We have common number one here by Lexi Hill, three thousand,

1091
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 5: doctor Douglash. She's a example of leaving the lights on

1092
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 5: hit me. My mom used to always stress turning the

1093
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 5: lights off to save money, so when I moved out,

1094
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 5: it took a long time to realize I can keep

1095
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,479
Speaker 5: the lights on to watch TV. In fact, it's better

1096
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 5: for my eyes. I loved hearing her takes in this episode.

1097
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 5: She really added a ton of great insight. Also shout

1098
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 5: out to a fellow Canadian, Yes, I remember this. Yeah,

1099
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 5: we were talking about the Jas, Yes, the Blue Jays

1100
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 5: boo Jays, all right, losers? Sorry, Hey, how are the

1101
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 5: Cardinals doing?

1102
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:27,240
Speaker 1: I mean to talk about that. I'm sorry, sensitive topics.

1103
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 5: Still, we have some more comments here by DG Mama

1104
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 5: two thousand and eight. I'm sorry, but sometimes throwing it

1105
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 5: all out at once bluntly is the best way. Stepmother

1106
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 5: in law is self absorbed. I'm sorry, but she is.

1107
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 5: Lots of people who don't get to have kids do

1108
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 5: not do not act like the stepmother in law did

1109
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,880
Speaker 5: in the story. She's trying to gaslight and manipulate the

1110
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 5: whole situation. She's a clear self absorbed person. She didn't

1111
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:57,439
Speaker 5: behave like this with the grandson. Just the granddaughter would

1112
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 5: show she's obsessed with this little girl. I'm not halfway

1113
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 5: through the story, but still mother in law is a

1114
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 5: threat to the child in question, and yeah, like it,

1115
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 5: Like we said, that's that's true.

1116
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: You cannot be a threat to my child or I

1117
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 1: will threaten to remove you from my life permanently. Yeah.

1118
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 5: And another comment here by Siren Knight one one one.

1119
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 5: I was gonna say, maybe I'm jaded from past experience,

1120
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 5: but after finishing this story, Nope, I was correct. Anybody

1121
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:30,280
Speaker 5: who called someone else's baby their baby is a psycho,

1122
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:31,240
Speaker 5: It's not your.

1123
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 1: Baby, that's my baby. Indeed, my baby takes the morning

1124
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 1: train in It's mine, not yours. What's yours is yours,

1125
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: and what's mine is mine, and my baby is mine.

1126
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,360
Speaker 5: And we have one last comment here by Lilith Pluto.

1127
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 5: This was a great episode and I loved hearing the

1128
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 5: guests perspective from a professional POV.

1129
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1130
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 5: Sophia is so great at engaging with the guests too.

1131
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 3: Oh thank you.

1132
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 1: Yeah she is, Yes, she is. She is quite good

1133
00:50:58,800 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: at that.

1134
00:50:59,600 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that episode. So if you

1135
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 2: love us, make sure to subscribe.

1136
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 1: We freaking love

1137
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 3: You and see you tomorrow.