Speaker 1: Hey, guys, I have to remind you wherever you're listening
Speaker 1: to this podcast to make sure that you rate it,
Speaker 1: but rate it five stars. If you're gonna rate it
Speaker 1: four stars, you know what, don't even bother five stars.
Speaker 1: Please also subscribe. That matters. Subscribe and rate but rate high.
Speaker 1: What's the first thing you ate when you got out
Speaker 1: of prison?
Speaker 2: Shrimp from Costco?
Speaker 1: Shrim from Costco. Eddie buys seafood from Costco?
Speaker 3: Well, salmon all the time?
Speaker 1: They pasha psha.
Speaker 4: Shut.
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's me Daniel Tosh and welcome to Toss Show.
Speaker 1: Hope everyone's buckled up because today is gonna be one
Speaker 1: heck of a ride. Sorry for the language. How you doing, Eddie?
Speaker 3: I'm doing pretty good. You sound a little different though today.
Speaker 1: You think I saund yefferent. Well, I mean we're recording
Speaker 1: a little earlier. This is just maybe this is my
Speaker 1: morning groggy voice. I'm sure it'll it'll work its way through.
Speaker 1: What'd you do this weekend, Eddie?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I just hung out of the house, had some
Speaker 3: friends over.
Speaker 1: You had friends over? I didn't come over?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I must have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a fucking bullshit, man. I had friends over.
Speaker 1: Like whole crew of people I don't know about. All right,
Speaker 1: you know what I did on Friday, Uh, I went
Speaker 1: to my son's preschool and I passed out twenty one
Speaker 1: that's how many people are in this class. Twenty one
Speaker 1: index cards where I wrote a clean, funny joke that
Speaker 1: a four year old would laugh at, and I gave
Speaker 1: them to the kids and I told them they he
Speaker 1: needed to practice their joke over the weekend. And then
Speaker 1: on Monday, I went in. I had built a stage,
Speaker 1: a little backdrop and made him a little comedy club
Speaker 1: their preschool, and I was going to teach him how
Speaker 1: to do stand up. And they were so excited, and
Speaker 1: I got a microphone and everything like that, got a
Speaker 1: little stool, put a little uh uh kid's water bottle
Speaker 1: on this on the stage, and you know, I had
Speaker 1: them do say funny things too, like uh, I'll be
Speaker 1: here all week try the chicken fingers. Yeah, we did.
Speaker 1: They just like to hear their voice amplified. But here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Every one of those kids memorized their joke.
Speaker 1: They took it seriously, Like their parents told me. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: our kid was working on his joke all weekend. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's great, And I was just
Speaker 1: you know, showing them that every but every kid hears
Speaker 1: all the time that they can be a doctor or
Speaker 1: you know, a firefighter, but you know they might not
Speaker 1: be brave, or they might be dumb as shit. So
Speaker 1: you need to know that there's another option. And that's
Speaker 1: why I introduced him to comedy. It was it was fun.
Speaker 1: Everybody my son did well heroes play his joke?
Speaker 4: Why I did it? Both like say, how doing no?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 4: You wanting to see a butterfly man? You want refurn.
Speaker 1: It just holds up by the way. I didn't charge
Speaker 1: these kids for my expertise. No, but but there are
Speaker 1: these comedy classes. And you know, if anybody ever talks
Speaker 1: to me about stand up there, what do you think
Speaker 1: of these comedy guys? I think they're ridiculous. I don't
Speaker 1: think anybody should pay money to learn how to do
Speaker 1: stand up because to me, that was actually the fun
Speaker 1: part was trying to figure out how do I do this.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you here's a story. Some people waiting. I
Speaker 1: know the first time I did stand up it was
Speaker 1: not in a comedy venue, meaning it wasn't even a
Speaker 1: comedy night I just looked in the paper in Orlando, uh,
Speaker 1: and I saw open mic, and because I was thinking
Speaker 1: everything open mic means stand up, I'm going to go
Speaker 1: to this. And I went. There was like a little
Speaker 1: jazz club and they were just having musicians go up
Speaker 1: and perform all night. And I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I made a huge mistake. So I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't think I had already signed my name on the paper.
Speaker 1: And then I went over to the guy and I said, hey, uh,
Speaker 1: I messed up. I thought this was like comedy. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: what are you going to tell jokes? And I was
Speaker 1: like yeah, I was just gonna go up and till
Speaker 1: he's like yeah, that'd be great. I just just do it.
Speaker 1: And I'm like okay. So there's this night of bad
Speaker 1: music and then they stop to have me go up
Speaker 1: for a few minutes and do horrible comedy. Anyway, So
Speaker 1: the point is I never took a comedy class, and
Speaker 1: it's a week until but I just you just learn,
Speaker 1: you just figured it out. So like, yeah, that's I
Speaker 1: did comedy the wrong venue. And then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I should look for places that are doing comedy, and
Speaker 1: that's the open mics I should go to.
Speaker 3: I worked out for Yeah.
Speaker 1: And by the way, if you're somebody that's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I signed up for a comedy school and it helped me,
Speaker 1: then all right fine. But I just don't think it's
Speaker 1: a necessary step in learning how to become a comedian.
Speaker 1: And I do say this to everyone. If you wanted
Speaker 1: to get into stand up comedy, it's a it's you'll
Speaker 1: get better. It's not like, oh, my goodness, only the
Speaker 1: funny people do well in stand up I know tons
Speaker 1: of very successful comedians that aren't funny. And opposite, I
Speaker 1: know tons of very funny people that are very poor
Speaker 1: stand up comics. All right, ed, you got any videos
Speaker 1: for us today?
Speaker 3: I do have a video you do? Yeah for people
Speaker 3: just listening. Check out our YouTube channel for the link.
Speaker 1: The fuck was that? I hope we got paid for that, Eddie.
Speaker 1: All right, let's see what we got here. You know
Speaker 1: this should be next year's Super Bowl halftime show. Is this, Hamilton?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I think this is a fire festival.
Speaker 1: I see what you did. I see what you brought
Speaker 1: me back? The fire festival? You remember that? Huh? More
Speaker 1: like liar festival? Am I? Right?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 1: Guy? Conned everybody? Oh? Man, Well, you're in luck. Today's
Speaker 1: guest has been in prison for the past four years
Speaker 1: for producing the worst concert ever. Enjoy Pasha, my guest today,
Speaker 1: is the co creator of the Greatest Music Festival. He
Speaker 1: was the star of two very popular documentaries, and he
Speaker 1: was sued for one hundred million for spending millions of
Speaker 1: your parents' money. Our first convicted felon. Uh whoo, please
Speaker 1: welcome Billy McFarlane.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Daniel.
Speaker 1: Let's get right to it. But this is the first
Speaker 1: question I asked all my guests, How was jail really terrible?
Speaker 2: I did ten months of solitary confinement, seven for trying
Speaker 2: to do a podcast from the payphone. So it feels
Speaker 2: a while to be in Los Angeles with you doing
Speaker 2: a podcast and not in solitary.
Speaker 1: So wait, hold, you were put in solitary for trying
Speaker 1: to do a podcast.
Speaker 2: For seven months. Now.
Speaker 1: Isn't the goal in jail to get your own space?
Speaker 2: So on some level they at smart to me. There
Speaker 2: there was a guy who got into a shootout with
Speaker 2: the police and he lost his culling. He was named
Speaker 2: Bags because he didn't have a bag.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: So they made him my cellmate and solitary confinement, so
Speaker 2: every thirty minutes, the toilet was probably a foot and
Speaker 2: half of my bed. They had to be used, So yeah,
Speaker 2: they found a way to make it worse.
Speaker 1: How'd the podcast doh coming out of prison? Just curious?
Speaker 1: You get a lot of subs.
Speaker 2: An hour after the trailer came out. They just like
Speaker 2: some beefy guard came to myself like McFarlane, get your
Speaker 2: ass over here, and that was the That was the
Speaker 2: end of it. Thing didn't go much further than that.
Speaker 1: You're you're a large man, rightly large. Did you like
Speaker 1: do anything to yourself to make your image look a
Speaker 1: little tougher when you were in the clink?
Speaker 2: No, My glasses were like really crooked because you couldn't
Speaker 2: really change them out, so I look like a super nerd.
Speaker 2: Everybody thought I was a pedophile until they asked you
Speaker 2: before name.
Speaker 1: Well, just because you had glasses on, that's that's the
Speaker 1: look of a pedophile.
Speaker 2: A white guy. I don't know about you, but a
Speaker 2: white guy in jail with no tattoos and all of
Speaker 2: his teeth usually you're a pedophile.
Speaker 1: Shit that there's the tell. All right, let's talk, let's
Speaker 1: the how.
Speaker 2: Long were you in jail four years four exactly like
Speaker 2: plus your minus a month.
Speaker 1: Well, wouldn't you know?
Speaker 2: Four years and a month and a half. But who's
Speaker 2: was it?
Speaker 1: Was it four years a month and a half. Yes,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a long.
Speaker 2: Time, long time. I lost half my twenties. Deserve rely so,
Speaker 2: but yeah, so I'm trying to catch up.
Speaker 1: I'll look at you so you you feel like you deserved.
Speaker 2: It, absolutely deserved it. Totally messed up.
Speaker 1: Now, I don't know enough about this situation to think
Speaker 1: that you completely deserved it, because in my head, you
Speaker 1: were seeking people to invest. Tell me where I'm wrong,
Speaker 1: seeking people to invest, and like all investments, sometimes they
Speaker 1: work out and sometimes they don't.
Speaker 2: So where I went wrong was I told investors we
Speaker 2: were doing far better than we actually were. So I
Speaker 2: liked to the investors. But people don't know is even
Speaker 2: if the event worked, I still would have gone to
Speaker 2: jail like the event we actually tried. So the scam
Speaker 2: wasn't the event. The scam was melyned to the investors.
Speaker 1: So even if it would have gone off completely without
Speaker 1: a hitch.
Speaker 2: I'm still with bags and solitaries.
Speaker 1: Are you? Even if it was profitable, it was profitable
Speaker 1: even it was profitable.
Speaker 2: Like if I tell you, hey, Daniel, you know I
Speaker 2: have ten million dollars in my bank account and give
Speaker 2: me a thousand bucks, And even if I returned to
Speaker 2: you two thousand dollars, still lied. I don't have ten
Speaker 2: million on my account after last night.
Speaker 1: So what do you say to people they call you
Speaker 1: a con? I mean, is that that's not what you
Speaker 1: set out to do.
Speaker 2: I've been called so many things like that's the only
Speaker 2: thing I don't like.
Speaker 1: That's the only thing you don't like.
Speaker 2: The other think I don't like. Everything else is like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I've fucked up in so many ways. But but you
Speaker 2: weren't deliberately trying to conn. It wasn't like this great con.
Speaker 2: I don't want to get over on people. I think
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with trying to give people a good time
Speaker 2: and bring them together, and I'm childish in a even
Speaker 2: a lot of stupid things try to make it happen.
Speaker 2: But the intention is good, but as it doesn't make
Speaker 2: the crime.
Speaker 1: Okay, did you have to get authorization to leave the
Speaker 1: state of New York to travel here today? And am
Speaker 1: I responsible for you?
Speaker 2: Yes? To all the above? Had permission Daniel Tosh's name
Speaker 2: always secure as the deal there and yes, you're responsible
Speaker 2: for all my behavior, so.
Speaker 1: Total hypothetical. I give you ten million dollars today, all
Speaker 1: all through legal means. How long before you could double it?
Speaker 2: I I probably can double it. Oh god, I probably
Speaker 2: blow it in like three weeks.
Speaker 1: Oh that's not what I want. Tones, that's not what
Speaker 1: I wanted to do.
Speaker 2: Give it to me. I'm not going to jail.
Speaker 1: No, what do your parents do?
Speaker 2: They live in New Jersey, so very regular family. They
Speaker 2: do real estate.
Speaker 1: You grew up in New Jersey. Do you feel that
Speaker 1: had something to do with the fact that you ended
Speaker 1: up in prison?
Speaker 2: I think I'd proved that all New Jersey people weren't terrible,
Speaker 2: But I think I proved it to be.
Speaker 1: True nurture versus nature couldn't escape. Yeah, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: not your fault.
Speaker 2: It's not my fault.
Speaker 1: In New Jersey, you're gonna end up.
Speaker 2: You're boring the art pit, You're gonna you're gonna end
Speaker 2: up someplace gross, like.
Speaker 1: Was it prison? It was a minimum security? What's going on?
Speaker 2: Started a minimum security got in trouble twice. I flew
Speaker 2: on con Air three times where they shackle you end
Speaker 2: an airplane that was kind of wild.
Speaker 1: What was it? Just an airplane full of criminals?
Speaker 2: Criminals shackled by the ankle?
Speaker 3: Is your hands shackled?
Speaker 1: Here?
Speaker 2: And then they put me on a bus for seventeen
Speaker 2: hours from Oklahoma to to Detroit, Michigan. Shackled so you
Speaker 2: couldn't pee for seventeen hours. That was kind of brutal.
Speaker 1: And you and you didn't pee?
Speaker 2: No, you, I mean you're literally shackled.
Speaker 1: They don't they don't care if you pee yourself.
Speaker 2: I guess not.
Speaker 1: How did you survive that?
Speaker 2: That's kind of brutal, Right.
Speaker 1: It sounds, it sounds. I mean it's worse than.
Speaker 2: I fell asleep on the shoulder. They got next to me,
Speaker 2: and I woke up and said, hey, what did you do?
Speaker 2: He goes, I made bombs like, oh, maybe I'm not
Speaker 2: going to sleep in your shoulder anymore.
Speaker 1: Did you meet anybody in prison that was convicted of murder?
Speaker 2: I didn't mean some murderers?
Speaker 1: Yes, that was your relationship with jaw today existent Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: how did he get off completely? Did he what was
Speaker 1: the ramifications of his role?
Speaker 2: I don't think anything that's weird.
Speaker 1: That might be the first time in history that a white,
Speaker 1: white collared guy goes to prison and then the black
Speaker 1: wrapper free as a bird.
Speaker 2: He was a little smarter. He'd gone to jail before,
Speaker 2: so he knew the inner workings and how how the
Speaker 2: system went down after that.
Speaker 1: All right, should we get into the fire. Let me
Speaker 1: just get into the festival. You were twenty three when
Speaker 1: you organize the fire festival? Who in the fuck gives
Speaker 1: a twenty three year old that kind of money?
Speaker 2: I think this is the most embarrassing part of the story.
Speaker 2: Most of the investors had backed me for four or
Speaker 2: five years, so they'd seen me go through little winds
Speaker 2: and little losses along the way, and I violated their
Speaker 2: trust when I said, Hey, this one's gonna be the biggest, Like, yes,
Speaker 2: I was right, but I was wrong about how big
Speaker 2: it was going to be.
Speaker 1: So, I mean, I just feel like they're the ones
Speaker 1: that are fault. I would cut a check to a
Speaker 1: twenty three year old is just grossly negligent on their port.
Speaker 2: So you're not going to give me the ten million dollars.
Speaker 1: No, you're not twenty three anymore now, you're now you're
Speaker 1: how old are you? Thirty two? Yeah? All right? I'm
Speaker 1: just background for me. Don't enjoy going to see live music.
Speaker 1: A festival seems like a nightmare to me. The best
Speaker 1: festival in the world versus what you tried to put
Speaker 1: on to me doesn't seem that different. Yeah, you're shitting
Speaker 1: outside at accommodations are garbage.
Speaker 2: I've only got to one music festival in my entire life,
Speaker 2: which was a red flag. Went to Coachella one time.
Speaker 1: Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 2: Now? It sucked.
Speaker 1: It's hot, but the women they dress so so.
Speaker 2: I wanted to meet this girl and didn't work outside
Speaker 2: a bad time And that was my only music festival ever,
Speaker 2: and from that I thought I could do. Fire makes
Speaker 2: a lot of sense. Do you see the press they're
Speaker 2: not selling any tickets.
Speaker 1: This year at Coachella.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was all over the news and I don't
Speaker 2: care buying it. Yeah, I know I've done Banu really
Speaker 2: did not.
Speaker 1: It's awful.
Speaker 2: Will you perform at Fire too?
Speaker 1: No, but I'll let you say that I'm going to
Speaker 1: be there.
Speaker 2: That's so sad.
Speaker 1: You do that thing where you used to like lineup
Speaker 1: subject to change and you can you promote me, but
Speaker 1: I don't show.
Speaker 2: Up first headliner an now it's Daniel Tosh.
Speaker 1: I don't know that I would sell I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I would move the needle for you at
Speaker 1: the festival.
Speaker 2: You know what I saw yesterday is you're special saying
Speaker 2: that no one ever is sad in a wave Runner.
Speaker 2: I couldn't relate more. So I feel like you have
Speaker 2: to do that at the fire festival?
Speaker 1: Are you so you are going to do a second?
Speaker 2: We are?
Speaker 1: We are Jesus? Why not start small, smaller and not
Speaker 1: go like swing for the fences here?
Speaker 2: I just like want to create an incredible experience, but
Speaker 2: I also want to pay everybody back.
Speaker 1: What I owe. How much do you owe?
Speaker 2: It's like between twenty six and twenty eight million, kind
Speaker 2: of changes by the.
Speaker 1: Hour, So you do still have to pay this back?
Speaker 2: Yeah, every month, I literally have to give a check
Speaker 2: back to the investors. And then they get a percentage
Speaker 2: of all the business revenue too. So you know a
Speaker 2: fire too makes one hundred bucks like a percentage that
Speaker 2: goes back to them.
Speaker 1: Is there any way that you could be free and
Speaker 1: clear and one big festival?
Speaker 2: It'll probably take like three or four festivals to pack.
Speaker 2: I have partners, so, like, you know, our own significant
Speaker 2: pieces of it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, did you ever, in your wildest dreams think
Speaker 1: you'd be in the whole twenty six million dollars.
Speaker 2: I think it's just past the point of like being tangible, right,
Speaker 2: It's just so much so it's at least for me.
Speaker 1: I always think, like I always hypothetically like, if I'm
Speaker 1: playing with a deck of cards, do you gamble?
Speaker 2: Not really?
Speaker 1: I like, well, like pretend, yeah, I go, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put two million on his hand, and then I lose,
Speaker 1: and then like, well, let's play, I'll put.
Speaker 2: It if I lose, just becomes thirty million.
Speaker 1: If you lose and be good, well, I just I'm
Speaker 1: just wondering if you're like, you could just double your double.
Speaker 2: Down if you give me the twenty eighth to try
Speaker 2: to play with.
Speaker 1: If I gave you, if I give you twenty million dollars,
Speaker 1: you would put it down on a hand.
Speaker 2: No. Never, I wouldn't let you give it to me.
Speaker 1: I want to go to cut you a cha. Well
Speaker 1: I don't. You don't go to jail if I cut
Speaker 1: you a check for twenty five million dollars and you
Speaker 1: find a casino that takes your action one hand A
Speaker 1: black Jack to become even.
Speaker 2: I would like not be able to sleep a fellows. You. Well,
Speaker 2: let's let's let's say you don't win fuck anybody ever, Let's.
Speaker 1: Say you win. Yeah, you pay back your debt. You're
Speaker 1: at zero. Now what do you do with your career?
Speaker 2: I'm still doing fire too. I just have to do
Speaker 2: it and have to show people, like what the dream was?
Speaker 1: I mean, whose dream are we talking about?
Speaker 2: I rented an airstrip in New York like two months
Speaker 2: ago and did a concert on the airstrip and took
Speaker 2: people up in a plane that probably shouldn't be allowed
Speaker 2: to fly for zero gravity flights, and that worke rely well,
Speaker 2: so I convinced myself that you can just go bigger now, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, just you're so ambitious and it hasn't hasn't dropped off? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, are you slowing down as you're aging? Do
Speaker 1: you feel like, Okay? Now I've got a better perspective
Speaker 1: on things.
Speaker 2: I went to jail, like totally broke, lost eighty five
Speaker 2: percent of my friends, and I'm just like so scared
Speaker 2: of being that powerless again. It just fucking freaks me out.
Speaker 1: Eighty five percent of your friends, Yeah, I don't even
Speaker 1: know what that means. If I lost eighty five percent
Speaker 1: of my friend is that I lost two friends?
Speaker 2: I mean I probably had ten and now I had
Speaker 2: one and a half after it's a lot of it if.
Speaker 1: All you need is two friends, Yeah, it seems pretty much.
Speaker 1: How is that with your parents?
Speaker 2: Super upset? That's the hardest part. Family just gets unfair punishment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a tough one. But they still supported you
Speaker 1: or no.
Speaker 2: I mean it's tough. They're embarrassed, right, It's like your
Speaker 2: son is a total fuck up, So it's hard.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm part of me would be like that
Speaker 1: was pretty pretty balls. Yeah, a big, big swing.
Speaker 2: I gave him those balls, honey. Yeah.
Speaker 1: At what point were you like, I can't stop this
Speaker 1: and you just had to wait for the wheels to
Speaker 1: fall off.
Speaker 2: I was at the festival the first thousand people had arrived,
Speaker 2: and my like number two at the company came up
Speaker 2: and said three people had died. It was not true
Speaker 2: at all. No one was hurt, and he had told
Speaker 2: me these elaborate stories about they were one got bit
Speaker 2: by a pig and bled out, two got shot, and
Speaker 2: like none of this is even remotely true, And at
Speaker 2: that point, I'm like, okay, let's turn these planes around
Speaker 2: and get everybody home.
Speaker 1: Why did someone tell you in the first place that
Speaker 1: three festival goers died.
Speaker 2: They probably thought that was the only way to get
Speaker 2: me to stop it. So they're like, what's scare Billy?
Speaker 1: And oh tell them that they were okay. So they
Speaker 1: were like, listen, this is bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just isn't listening.
Speaker 1: But somehow you conned all the like the world's hottest
Speaker 1: models to promote this thing and then and that made
Speaker 1: me laugh, uh because it's not funny. That couldn't have
Speaker 1: been hard. But but but do you think do you
Speaker 1: think they'll be back?
Speaker 2: So prior to messing up the big one, we did
Speaker 2: like twenty mini fire festival trips that went really well,
Speaker 2: and I think that's what created all this like marketing hype.
Speaker 2: So I want to get back to what I'm good
Speaker 2: at and just like get help to do it, do
Speaker 2: it right. But yeah, I have no idea who's gonna
Speaker 2: be there, but people are gonna have one.
Speaker 1: You're like, Pete Davidson, is that good or bad? Well,
Speaker 1: it just been good and that just like you. Somehow,
Speaker 1: I don't think my Dick's that big, though, I don't.
Speaker 1: I bet wouldn't it be great if his penis wasn't
Speaker 1: that big? Yeah, you're like, this guy's just sweet. Did
Speaker 1: you have a who's your who's your favorite model? That
Speaker 1: you got to come out?
Speaker 2: This is a dangerous question.
Speaker 1: Are you in a relationship?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah you are. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Somebody fell in love with you while you're behind bars
Speaker 1: right before. Oh and you made them wait for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of fucked up.
Speaker 1: That's messed up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's wrong.
Speaker 1: I think no, okay, but you're in a serious relationship.
Speaker 1: That doesn't matter. In a relationship, you can still have
Speaker 1: a conversation. Who do you think is the prettiest model?
Speaker 1: Out of a list of models that I just read off?
Speaker 2: I think Bella was the most fun. She just did
Speaker 2: the most like cool activities.
Speaker 1: That wouldn't be my pick. Who do you like rad Jakowski?
Speaker 1: I think I think she's really pretty. It'd be funny too,
Speaker 1: to get some of these models, the same models that
Speaker 1: now they're you know, they now they're old. They have
Speaker 1: lived life. Yeah, fire festival too. They got their kids
Speaker 1: with them, Yet their kids are pulling at their legs.
Speaker 1: They're like, mom, put something on, put a wrap on
Speaker 1: at least by the way, I'm just guessing that you
Speaker 1: watch the documentary I have not. You honestly have not watched.
Speaker 2: No, I can't do it.
Speaker 1: I watched one of them.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry for you.
Speaker 1: No, it was it was enjoyable. W I mean, I
Speaker 1: watched which one did I like? Which one?
Speaker 4: Did?
Speaker 1: I watch? Eddie do one on Netflix that has the
Speaker 1: guy in Netflix? I watched the guy one on Netflix,
Speaker 1: the guy that Yeah, that said he had had to
Speaker 1: blow the guy at customs, which I don't know if
Speaker 1: he actually did or didn't, but I found him delightful.
Speaker 2: So do you know how I found out about that
Speaker 2: story ever happening?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 2: A person guard comes up to me and goes, hey,
Speaker 2: you can tell me, did you force him guy to
Speaker 2: blow someone for official government officer to or at least
Speaker 2: water accustomed? Like? Wait?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: Like? I had never heard about this ever happening until
Speaker 2: the police officer tried to question me.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you didn't watch you are you think
Speaker 1: you'll never watch one of those documentaries? How in the
Speaker 1: world I don't believe you.
Speaker 2: I would just get so mad, and of.
Speaker 1: Course you'll get mad, But why wouldn't you watch it.
Speaker 2: Because it would take away from the real plant, right,
Speaker 2: I fucked up? And just because like someone said, it
Speaker 2: did something in there and not be true, like it
Speaker 2: just I'm not mature enough to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think you're mature enough not to
Speaker 1: watch it.
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: That's crazy to me.
Speaker 2: I'm just scared. They all watched it in jail one
Speaker 2: day and I went outside all alone in the rest
Speaker 2: of the jail. They's not got a USB drive and
Speaker 2: they watched it on the TV and I'm outside alone.
Speaker 1: Like, who's one did they bring in the Netflix once? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the better one. Yeah, So were you in jail
Speaker 1: when that came out? I was did they try to
Speaker 1: reach out to you, like for some any reporters or
Speaker 1: anything a little bit?
Speaker 2: It was kind of a shit show, but it was.
Speaker 1: It was It was where were you in Ohio?
Speaker 2: That one? I was in New York and then I
Speaker 2: went to Ohio and then right outside Detroit, Michigan.
Speaker 1: What's what's the best state to be in prison in?
Speaker 2: I like the Detroit one the most because they're probably
Speaker 2: the most like gang bangers there, so they were more
Speaker 2: concerned about them and left me alone.
Speaker 1: Let's see. So Detroit.
Speaker 2: There's another win real, real, real problem story about left
Speaker 2: Billy do nothing in this.
Speaker 1: Where was the food worse prison or the fire festival?
Speaker 2: So probably probably the fire festival. In jail, I had
Speaker 2: a great Mexican cell mate. He didn't really speak a
Speaker 2: lot of English, but he cooked me casdias with a
Speaker 2: clothes iron every day, so he like still a clothes
Speaker 2: iron from the laundry room and would girl case is
Speaker 2: in our cell They're pretty good, unbelievable living large.
Speaker 1: Good gig, did they Was there any entertainment? Do you
Speaker 1: like put on any shows for you?
Speaker 2: People fighting, people getting high and like collapsing. That was
Speaker 2: kind of the daily daily.
Speaker 1: And did you fight to ever?
Speaker 2: Not really, no, I'd watch.
Speaker 1: Did you have to cheer?
Speaker 2: Did you have to cheer for the white people sometimes? Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's kind of the problem. I would cheer for the
Speaker 2: wrong guy and they would get mad.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Man, everything about Jill stresses me.
Speaker 2: It's terrible.
Speaker 1: Did you do a lot of crying in prison?
Speaker 2: A little bit?
Speaker 1: I would cry all the time.
Speaker 2: The toughest guy, they would cry a lot. So they
Speaker 2: made me feel like it was okay.
Speaker 1: Is that what she needed? You needed? Validation?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: For sure.
Speaker 2: When the guy has killed more people than I than
Speaker 2: we talked to him. Was there crying every night? I
Speaker 2: think it's a pitocray.
Speaker 1: Well, he's got stuff to cry about, got demons in
Speaker 1: his ears.
Speaker 2: He had a video he chopped the guy's head off
Speaker 2: with a machete and he played soccer with his head.
Speaker 2: And you're allowed to have your like legal materials, so
Speaker 2: that he would joke you with a video of his charm.
Speaker 1: I thought you were in a minimum security prison.
Speaker 2: This is in the Brooklyn Detention Center. So it was all, oh, my, yeah,
Speaker 2: so yeah.
Speaker 1: What's the first thing he ate when he got out
Speaker 1: of prison?
Speaker 2: Uh? Shrimp from Costco?
Speaker 1: Oh Man, shrimp from Costco. Eddie buys seafood from Costco.
Speaker 3: Well of salmon all the time, Sham and there, Billy, They're.
Speaker 1: Great, big slabs of salm and just just and then
Speaker 1: he gets the kit for the caesar and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: oh God, we're all gonna shit ourselves.
Speaker 2: My family gave me a Timberlain wallet with two hundred
Speaker 2: dollars and twenties in it and said you're good to go.
Speaker 2: So couldn't really get that far.
Speaker 1: Oh when you got out, got out?
Speaker 2: So hence the costco shrip. I really wanted to tell.
Speaker 1: You, did you get up the Do they give you
Speaker 1: the bag of like the of the stuff that you
Speaker 1: had on your persons when you walked in?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: They do?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no no, they give you the bag
Speaker 2: of what you had in jail, so a couple of
Speaker 2: like sweatpants and notebooks.
Speaker 1: What misconceptions do people have about jail that you're like, Oh,
Speaker 1: that's not the way it is.
Speaker 2: I think as a kid, you're taught that they are
Speaker 2: good people and bad people. I think it's like not true.
Speaker 2: There's probably like two percent of the population who are
Speaker 2: actually psychopaths, and everybody else is just somewhere on that
Speaker 2: spectrum of doing something stupid in their life.
Speaker 1: And uh huh.
Speaker 2: I think most people were like good people who just
Speaker 2: didn't have opportunity in life, and like they saw drugs
Speaker 2: and got fifteen years for it and now they're stuck, right,
Speaker 2: But it's hard to hard to blame some of them. No,
Speaker 2: I mean, how desperate you are, how bad your circumstances
Speaker 2: are often lead to going to jail. But most people
Speaker 2: and they're actually not bad. And that was a huge
Speaker 2: eye opener.
Speaker 1: My normal first question that I asked everyone, do you
Speaker 1: believe in ghosts?
Speaker 2: No? Do you know.
Speaker 1: Top five favorite Billy's.
Speaker 2: Wave Runner Billy number one, pretending like I know how
Speaker 2: to fly? And scary people in the back of the
Speaker 2: plane number two.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I don't know the funk. You're
Speaker 1: talking about? Famous people named Billy, Billy the Kid, Billy
Speaker 1: the Kid. Yeah, okay, a criminal, great?
Speaker 2: Yeah, wild Bill.
Speaker 1: Well another is, oh, this.
Speaker 2: Is this is great? Right? Who else is there?
Speaker 1: Billy Corgan, Billy Gates, Billy Gates, Billy Shatner if you
Speaker 1: know him, well, don't, but there you go, Billy Madison,
Speaker 1: nice Billy on the street. I don't know Heikener.
Speaker 2: Okay, it goes on New York, he asked.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter in the street.
Speaker 2: It sounds like pretty Where are you living currently? I'm
Speaker 2: living in New York. We're back.
Speaker 1: You got your own place? Yeah, you're living with your girlfriend?
Speaker 2: No, some nights she's there, but she has her own
Speaker 2: place too.
Speaker 1: Oh, a little safety house for me mostly case case
Speaker 1: things go wrong, in case things go back. How long
Speaker 1: did you wait from when you were released to make
Speaker 1: love to your girlfriend? How long of a wait.
Speaker 2: Was that You're gonna get me in trouble.
Speaker 1: Why would you get in trouble?
Speaker 2: I was in the halfway house.
Speaker 1: Oh you're not supposed to make love in the halfway house.
Speaker 2: No, but we made it work. Okay, made it work
Speaker 2: in jail too, a couple of times.
Speaker 1: Did you got you got conjugal visits?
Speaker 2: No, but made it work a couple of times. Not
Speaker 2: suppos to talk about that. Oh that's interesting, it's fun.
Speaker 1: Did she did you do that thing where she mashed
Speaker 1: her boob up against the glass?
Speaker 2: No, it was for real.
Speaker 1: Oh, your gift seems to be raising money, So why
Speaker 1: don't you just focus on that and like, just raise
Speaker 1: money for charities that would really do a good pr
Speaker 1: three seconds.
Speaker 2: Not a bad idea, Thank you, Daniel. Let's start went.
Speaker 1: Together a charity.
Speaker 2: Yeah, with you, I'll do the fundraising and everything else.
Speaker 1: No, No, I'm not doing Hey, I always give people
Speaker 1: a gift that's on my show of something from my house.
Speaker 1: I thought I would just give me a check, a
Speaker 1: blank check.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's a good idea, Daniel.
Speaker 1: You don't think you should have my information?
Speaker 2: No, maybe you guys are giving me way too much credit.
Speaker 1: All right, fine, I won't give them a blank check. Damn,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a used Ferrari.
Speaker 2: No way, but it's my son's I don't I want
Speaker 2: to screw your son over.
Speaker 1: Nope, we're screwing you over. You thought you were getting
Speaker 1: a real Ferrari, but we're giving you a used toy
Speaker 1: Ferrari is cool. Guess what?
Speaker 2: Thank you?
Speaker 1: Guess what? Yeh, batteries are dead. No problem, So you're
Speaker 1: on your own. That works so hard for Hold. I
Speaker 1: got another gift for you. I don't know what you'll
Speaker 1: do with it, but if you go to prison again,
Speaker 1: I want you to bring it.
Speaker 2: No damn.
Speaker 1: This is a photo of me and my wife on
Speaker 1: a roller coaster at Dollywood.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Now, the reason I want you to have that photo
Speaker 1: is because that's more fun than any music festival. You
Speaker 1: go to Dollywood, They've got shows, they've got the roller coasters. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's just the time of your life. Daniel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, could we get on the phone in my probation officer,
Speaker 2: put this on the floor.
Speaker 1: I don't want this on the.
Speaker 2: Get permission to go to the island right now, and
Speaker 2: then you can reassess this judgment you're making.
Speaker 1: You're telling me that your island is gonna be better than
Speaker 1: then Thunderhead, the roller coaster at Dollywood. All right, put
Speaker 1: that on the floor.
Speaker 2: But you can't get this one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you keep that's yours. I want you to put
Speaker 1: that on in your cell show people friends. Have you
Speaker 1: ever been to Dollywood? No, it's delightful.
Speaker 2: I want to go. Yeah, all right, let's do it.
Speaker 1: I would. I'll definitely go back to Dollywood again. We'll
Speaker 1: I go with you. No, I gotta I gotta lug
Speaker 1: my whole family. It's a nightmare.
Speaker 2: So you can't chase me to your family.
Speaker 1: I'll introduce to my family. I don't give a shit.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let you watch my kids. Really no,
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, if I need to go to
Speaker 1: the bathroom, you can watch them. I don't like bringing
Speaker 1: them in. So he's weird. I wish I was like ten,
Speaker 1: stand next to me, don't touch anything. Stand next me,
Speaker 1: don't anything in the next time. I look over, and
Speaker 1: my son's like trying to like just like a lean
Speaker 1: against anyway. You're gonna have kids someday, I think so.
Speaker 2: Probably not yet.
Speaker 1: You're gonna scrub the internet first. No, how much money
Speaker 1: do you have in your how much money do you
Speaker 1: have networth? What's your current net worth?
Speaker 2: So what I oe? Between twenty six and twenty eight million,
Speaker 2: so you know negative in that range.
Speaker 1: No, but do they They don't allow you to keep
Speaker 1: any money.
Speaker 2: I can keep money, but I prepay a percentage whatever
Speaker 2: I earn right to it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so are you making money yet?
Speaker 2: A little bit?
Speaker 1: Your zero gravity bullshit? Had a couple of dollars that worked,
Speaker 1: just fun.
Speaker 2: No one died?
Speaker 1: Is that always? Is that always the bar?
Speaker 2: Yeah, as as nobody dies, as long as no one
Speaker 2: gets scammed and no one dies?
Speaker 1: And we want baby, are you do you read your
Speaker 1: Wikipedia page? Never? Okay, sorry to bring it up pretty bad.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what line one is. Yeah, con Man, Right,
Speaker 1: it's got the word conon.
Speaker 2: We were negotiating a deal yesterday and one of their
Speaker 2: counterpoints was, you think we're just gonna give this much
Speaker 2: money to someone who's Wikipedia page has con Man and
Speaker 2: they use that to try to get some some percentage
Speaker 2: off on the deal.
Speaker 1: So did it work? Yeah?
Speaker 2: It worked? I felt bad, Like all right, you guys.
Speaker 1: Went yeah, I mean it's a hard argument. You're right,
Speaker 1: we'll give you a point five off.
Speaker 2: Tell me.
Speaker 1: How you really feel like, has anyone physically threatened you
Speaker 1: that you owe money to.
Speaker 2: They're smart enough to yeel the threats pretty well, so
Speaker 2: they come off as plate uh.
Speaker 1: Huh, Okay.
Speaker 2: I hope you're doing great coming back. Where's my fucking money?
Speaker 1: But you feel the threats a little bit.
Speaker 2: It's not too crazy though. It hasn't gotten to the
Speaker 2: point where it's bad.
Speaker 1: Do you sleep well?
Speaker 2: Sometimes?
Speaker 1: Not last night? Oh no, it's bad. Why was last night?
Speaker 2: This is a injerous city for me?
Speaker 1: This is a dangerous city for you.
Speaker 2: She'd go back home. People seem to overlook your flaws
Speaker 2: a little bit too fast here, so it's maybe I
Speaker 2: shouldn't be this accepted as you come back.
Speaker 1: Now, are you allowed to vote anymore?
Speaker 2: I don't know that that's a good question. I think no.
Speaker 2: But there's like they try to pass new law. Seat
Speaker 2: you are trying to.
Speaker 1: Pass new laws. But this is an election year, so
Speaker 1: you probably won't be able to vote this year. But
Speaker 1: if you had a vote, where would your vote go?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know what to do, you wouldn't know who
Speaker 1: to vote. No, I'm really conflicted. Like Trump gave me
Speaker 1: a year off jail, so that was cool. He did
Speaker 1: not personally, He like passed a law that gave nonviolent
Speaker 1: of first time offenders a year off.
Speaker 2: So that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: But so you you got a year knocked off because
Speaker 1: of Trump? No, that's worth a vote. Yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: if you told me you were going to vote for
Speaker 1: Trump because he got you out of jail a year early,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, well, I can't fault that guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty hard to say no to that.
Speaker 1: Biden step up, Yeah, seriously, what could you do for him?
Speaker 2: Twenty six million dollars? Baby, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: Would you allow jaw Rule to perform at Fire Festival too?
Speaker 2: Now, okay, we're going younger at this time around?
Speaker 1: Well sure, but I mean that'd still be a kind
Speaker 1: of a neat neat nod to a lessons learned earned? No, perhaps,
Speaker 1: how are you actually gonna get musicians to show up
Speaker 1: to this festival? Aren't they going to be like so skeptical?
Speaker 1: That's why I'm here to get the first one. It's like,
Speaker 1: once you come, everybody else will follow you. Who do
Speaker 1: you want? Who's a dream? Get?
Speaker 2: I want Kanye? Kanye? Let's too fire to Oh god?
Speaker 1: I mean that is perfect.
Speaker 2: It's perfect.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely Is anybody better? No, get Kanye, There's no
Speaker 1: reason he shouldn't do that.
Speaker 2: It just fits so nicely. What could go wrong?
Speaker 1: Have you ever thought about booking comedians at your festival?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, we did. Didn't do it, but thought about it,
Speaker 2: like like Mike.
Speaker 1: Most of the So this new festival might have like
Speaker 1: like a comedy tent. Is that what you're saying.
Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't think of it until now, but it'd
Speaker 2: be great. Could you be your headliner?
Speaker 1: No, I'm not gonna do it, but that's what they
Speaker 1: have at these festivals, they have like a comedy tent.
Speaker 2: Now, let's give you the main stage. It'll be flooding
Speaker 2: on the water glass either barge Daniel to any of this.
Speaker 2: Everybody's in the Wavenner smiling.
Speaker 1: Are you doing it on an island again? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I gotta. I gotta complete the story an American island
Speaker 2: or no, it's Caribbean. But I got to complete the narrative.
Speaker 2: It's got to be back in a very similar location
Speaker 2: to the first one, and we just need to execute
Speaker 2: the dream of fire one.
Speaker 1: You need it. You need a longer lead time.
Speaker 2: We had a year now it's gonna be next February.
Speaker 1: You should do it in Why don't you do it
Speaker 1: on American soil?
Speaker 2: That's boring.
Speaker 1: I know what's boring. But like Bonnaroo does it in
Speaker 1: a fucking whatever, shitty Tennessee and Coachill's out in the desert,
Speaker 1: like you.
Speaker 2: Want to challenge, Daniel Tosh. We need content here, we
Speaker 2: need we need so many times.
Speaker 1: Why do you say my full name, Billy McFarland.
Speaker 2: Because I review you, guys my new business advisor.
Speaker 1: Don't talk to your businesses advisor that way either, Okay
Speaker 1: do you have do you have a business advisor?
Speaker 2: I do? Okay, yeah, he's not as good as you.
Speaker 1: There's no scenario.
Speaker 2: He doesn't give me a checkbocketer, so kind of sucks.
Speaker 1: How much our ticket's going to cost to this new.
Speaker 2: Fire festival starting at twenty five hundred and.
Speaker 1: Whoa starting at twenty five hundred.
Speaker 2: We're focused in the million dollar ticket, Daniel Tosh?
Speaker 1: A million.
Speaker 2: There's a million dollars dollar ticket.
Speaker 1: There's how many million dollar tickets are there?
Speaker 2: We'll probably sell twenty or thirty if we can.
Speaker 1: And what do you get with a million dollar ticket?
Speaker 2: So you were partnering with this incredible new like condo
Speaker 2: tower in Miami. So they'll have like one month a
Speaker 2: year in this crazy like firehouse there and they get
Speaker 2: to do all the cool shit and me at fire
Speaker 2: they might die. We're going to try to, you know,
Speaker 2: push the boundaries and do tricks in the planes and
Speaker 2: jump out of helicopters and go free diving and do
Speaker 2: all this fun stuff.
Speaker 1: Twenty five hundred? What is twenty five hundred? You did?
Speaker 1: I get you a plane ticket?
Speaker 2: You'll go there on a boat from where? From Miami?
Speaker 1: From Miami you can get there by boat? Okay? All right?
Speaker 1: So how long does this boat ride?
Speaker 2: Like? Three hours? Three hours?
Speaker 1: All right? So this and this is going to be
Speaker 1: in the Bahamas or is it gonna be a.
Speaker 2: Key or is it somewhere in the Caribbean? Can't say
Speaker 2: where yet?
Speaker 1: Okay? Well yeah, well who owns it? Because Bahamas? We
Speaker 1: need a passport? Do we need a passport for this one?
Speaker 2: You need a passport? Yes?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 2: All right, so we need to work gring that to
Speaker 2: you guys.
Speaker 1: Three hours. We need to pass goverment.
Speaker 2: Please give it back. I'm innocent.
Speaker 1: Oh you don't have a passport. Okay, so you won't
Speaker 1: be able to go to your own festival.
Speaker 2: There is a chance you guys don't give my passport back. No,
Speaker 2: I think I'll have it back soon. We're working on
Speaker 2: it diligently.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's pretty easy to leave the country without
Speaker 1: sport getting back in.
Speaker 2: So they would be so happy they would do it,
Speaker 2: they would throw a celebration. Probably don't worry about his dumbass.
Speaker 1: How many days is the festival?
Speaker 2: I three days, like three day weekends?
Speaker 1: Is it going to be two weekends or just one off?
Speaker 1: Just one? Just one week Try.
Speaker 2: Two weekends last year didn't work. Get through the first day.
Speaker 2: So let's take.
Speaker 1: How excited were people that were on the second weekend
Speaker 1: that they didn't actually do it?
Speaker 2: The problem was they weren't there to tell the friends
Speaker 2: they were there. I think that was kind of the
Speaker 2: value you got from the first one.
Speaker 1: In hindsight, Now, do you think those people are happy
Speaker 1: that they went, that they were part of it or.
Speaker 2: They I hear a story every week or two of
Speaker 2: someone who had just had a crazy experience at the
Speaker 2: first fire festival. I was invited to two weddings. People
Speaker 2: two weddings?
Speaker 1: Yeah, huh?
Speaker 2: Kind of cool.
Speaker 1: Those are No, it's not that that was not cool
Speaker 1: because that marriage will not work. Why not? Like those
Speaker 1: people make dumb decisions. Good people, I don't believe them. Food.
Speaker 1: How's the food situation we take care of?
Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know, so we're gonna leave that one
Speaker 2: for the last minute. The shrimp from Costco's pretty good.
Speaker 1: We're not doing Costco shrimp billion. Food is important.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to undersell it this time. Okay, let me
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 1: Okay, but there will be food maybe will be included.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the food's included.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: We have a festal partner who, like surprisingly, does this
Speaker 2: stuff for a living. So I'm here to talk shit
Speaker 2: and provide the wave rudders. They're gonna actually make.
Speaker 1: This work, Okay, all right.
Speaker 2: If I don't give you the headline, they're gonna fire me. Okay,
Speaker 2: I think comedians would be great. I'll go pitch him
Speaker 2: on it after.
Speaker 1: You, please, Dan, I mean yeah, I'll give you a
Speaker 1: list you and Kanye. I'll give you.
Speaker 2: I could think of some you're knocking each other with,
Speaker 2: like the inflatables and Steu falls off the stage first.
Speaker 1: No, well, okay, some of your ideas are off how
Speaker 1: much you with the right you would check for to
Speaker 1: perform at the fire festival too, I would need it's
Speaker 1: a lot, Yeah, it's a lot, like a half a million,
Speaker 1: damn and I and I still would say no, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have fuck you money, but I have no
Speaker 1: thank you money.
Speaker 2: That's pretty close.
Speaker 1: People have asked me all the time, like, oh, we
Speaker 1: do this private event. I'm like, no, it's not worth it.
Speaker 1: It's not worth knowing that the event could be bad.
Speaker 1: I need. I need a nice theater. Like even when
Speaker 1: I could perform in larger venues like arenas or things
Speaker 1: like that, I chose not to. I'd rather make less
Speaker 1: money and be in a beautiful old theater where everything
Speaker 1: sounds right, that people are seated the right way, as
Speaker 1: opposed to a hockey arena that's been converted so I
Speaker 1: can fucking get the most money. That's how I've always
Speaker 1: kind of approached stand up comedy. I didn't like comedy
Speaker 1: clubs either, the lowest end. I didn't like that because
Speaker 1: people are fucking sitting in the front row eating nachos
Speaker 1: and like, who's this. I don't like kilapenos. So it
Speaker 1: was a middle ground for me. I wanted to get
Speaker 1: successful enough to get out of comedy clubs. The other
Speaker 1: good thing about not playing the biggest venues in the world,
Speaker 1: like Fire Too Right, is that when you fall off,
Speaker 1: you don't notice the fall off near as much understood.
Speaker 1: It's nice. It's like, oh, I don't have to go
Speaker 1: back to smaller things. It's like, no, I kind of.
Speaker 2: Just nothing will compared to Fire Too Right, Like you
Speaker 2: don't want to hit the peak and just have to
Speaker 2: go downhill.
Speaker 1: I understand how many tickets have to be sold for
Speaker 1: this to be considered a success. A couple thousand, couple
Speaker 1: that's it. Yeah, how are you gonna get bit? You
Speaker 1: can't get Kanye with a couple thousand.
Speaker 2: And every said we have Kanye said I want Kye.
Speaker 1: No, I understood, assud what you said. But he's not
Speaker 1: coming for a couple thousand people.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Probably not.
Speaker 1: I mean maybe if it's a few more wrong turns.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you never know.
Speaker 1: All these artists are going to ask for their money
Speaker 1: up front.
Speaker 2: Probably, So thank god for the partners and Dan Natasha.
Speaker 2: I'm not a partner, you're a backer. It's different. Uh,
Speaker 2: do you surfers? It's just I do surf really.
Speaker 1: You know, people always ask me about this board. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's painted black, but it's it's carbon fiber. It's a single.
Speaker 1: Don't touch the board. You can touch it. I just
Speaker 1: don't believe fingerprints on it. Yeah, but like these are
Speaker 1: pressure marks from I actually wrote it. I used to
Speaker 1: write it a bunch. What is it?
Speaker 2: Five to six it?
Speaker 1: No, it's it's probably six to two. How tall are
Speaker 1: you six to two? Six? Too?
Speaker 2: I should recognized one when I see one. I guess not.
Speaker 1: What's your wingspan?
Speaker 2: I have no idea manage a pretty long though.
Speaker 1: Are they? Yeah? Did you play any sports growing up?
Speaker 2: A little bit? It wasn't very good. Would you enjoy
Speaker 2: playing football and jiu jitsu?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah? What do you watch now? Do you watch
Speaker 1: all the UFC stuff?
Speaker 2: I watch the UFC and a big Jets fan. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: Oh man, it sucks.
Speaker 1: That was a rough year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a rough life.
Speaker 1: To sure. Have you been Do you go to Jets games?
Speaker 2: I went to the first game this year. Aaron Rodgers
Speaker 2: carried the flag out. I've never heard seventy thousand drunk
Speaker 2: people so happy. And when he gets hurt like two
Speaker 2: minutes into the game, the entire stadium just gets depressed
Speaker 2: the same time, it's like a collect of like, fuck
Speaker 2: our lives.
Speaker 1: Did people blame you?
Speaker 2: Oh for sure? By John Send this guy, fuck the
Speaker 2: turf up.
Speaker 1: The fire festival guys here everything.
Speaker 2: Security carried me out there throwing popcord heavy.
Speaker 1: Oh that's tough. How many years in your thirties do
Speaker 1: you think we'll be spent in jail?
Speaker 2: I really hope none. You think you think I'm gonna
Speaker 2: go back? No, I really I'm not. I don't think so,
Speaker 2: but that'd be super fucked up.
Speaker 1: The odds of you going back to jail are are
Speaker 1: greater than if you were like me, where you would
Speaker 1: just stay so far away from everything that got you
Speaker 1: there the first time. The fact that you're embracing it
Speaker 1: and diving back into that world that would terrify me.
Speaker 2: I think what's scary is like it's an opportunity for someone, right,
Speaker 2: like if they get me and if someone like gets
Speaker 2: me in trouble, like they get rewarded for that, and
Speaker 2: that's like that freaks me out.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's like it's like a boony on your head.
Speaker 2: It's like a come up for someone's career. So that's
Speaker 2: kind of scary.
Speaker 1: Was it worth it?
Speaker 2: No? No, I heard a lot of people it's not cool. No,
Speaker 2: I'll pay them back though.
Speaker 1: The people of the Bahamas. How many of those still
Speaker 1: need to be paid back.
Speaker 2: So we owe like two hundred thousand back to them,
Speaker 2: and that that will be paid soon. So we're working
Speaker 2: in there right now.
Speaker 1: And how many years? When when was the fire festival
Speaker 1: supposed to happen?
Speaker 2: Twenty seventeen? Okay, we spent around like four million dollars
Speaker 2: on local employees there, and like two hundred k we
Speaker 2: still owed.
Speaker 1: So two hundred k. Yeah, I feel like we can.
Speaker 1: We can get that two hundred k back to them.
Speaker 2: But let's do it right now. Write a check.
Speaker 1: Ah, I don't want to. I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: don't want to pay two hundred k.
Speaker 2: You'll, you'll help, you'll. It's like one hundred and ninety people.
Speaker 1: It's one hundred and ninety people that need to get paid.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like the average just that with interest. That's
Speaker 2: like what they're what they're own. So all right, we
Speaker 2: need to get We need to is right out to
Speaker 2: Billy McFarlane and we make sure it gets the right sources.
Speaker 2: I'm kidding don't do that.
Speaker 1: I'm not making it.
Speaker 2: I'm not ready to check to you, and we don't
Speaker 2: know what to do with the check.
Speaker 1: You don't know what to do with the check. I
Speaker 1: bet you do.
Speaker 2: At a zero.
Speaker 1: Billy, thank you for being on the show. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Good luck with Fire Festival two. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: watch that documentary. And yeah, all the best.
Speaker 2: Honored to be in the same chair as doctor Finky.
Speaker 1: So Pasha, Hey, Carl, what do you think of Billy?
Speaker 1: Seems like that time away did him really really good.
Speaker 1: Seems like he's on the path of the straight and narrow.
Speaker 1: Full disclosure for you people at home that are wondering, Yes,
Speaker 1: I have bought me and my family those million dollar
Speaker 1: tickets to Fire Festival two. Would you like to come
Speaker 1: to Fire Festival. It's in the Bahamas. They got to
Speaker 1: do a little paperwork to get dogs in unless we
Speaker 1: uh you know, yeah, Fire Festival two. There's no way
Speaker 1: that's not a success. I encourage all my listeners to
Speaker 1: attend Fire Festival two. All right, Oh hey, Carl, I
Speaker 1: know why your head's down right now. You don't want
Speaker 1: me to tell it, but I'm gonna tell it. Uh.
Speaker 1: The other day, Uh, my son and I were in
Speaker 1: the pool and my uh my daughter was running around
Speaker 1: the deck, uh without any without a diaper on. She's
Speaker 1: you know, she's young, she's one, but she was naked.
Speaker 1: And then my son and I were watching her. You
Speaker 1: know what, we gotta watch her close because she doesn't
Speaker 1: back into things. She just goes straight off. And was like,
Speaker 1: all right, and now you're dead. Uh so you have
Speaker 1: to watch and you have to be prepared to sprint. Uh. Anyway,
Speaker 1: she's walking around and she stops, and we're like, and
Speaker 1: she just stares at me, just looks right in my eyes,
Speaker 1: like just beautiful blue eyes, just stares at me and
Speaker 1: just shits just a huge shit, one big, solid, long turd.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my goodness. And my son is
Speaker 1: like ah ah. And then I go, well, now it's
Speaker 1: really a poop deck. Oh oh. That both of us
Speaker 1: chuckled for so long. Anyway, then we scream, uh right, Carl,
Speaker 1: we scream. We say, mom, get a boot bag. Our
Speaker 1: daughter just crapped on the deck. And then she goes,
Speaker 1: she turns around and runs inside. She's laughing a little bit.
Speaker 1: And then I look at my son and my son goes, oh, no, Dad,
Speaker 1: and I go what, and the poop is gone, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and I go what and my son goes, I can't,
Speaker 1: I can't get it out of my head. Carl just
Speaker 1: came up and ate it. Carl, admit it. You ate
Speaker 1: my daughter's poop. A whole turd in one bite, just
Speaker 1: walked up, snatched it and walked away. Wow. But that how?
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you do? I don't remove his teeth.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I brushed him, I
Speaker 1: wiped his mouth down a little bit, but it was nothing.
Speaker 1: It was fine. It's breath smelled fine. I don't even
Speaker 1: think he shooed. It just devoured a turn. I gotta
Speaker 1: live with that for the rest of my life. My
Speaker 1: son was traumatized. He just kept saying, I can't I
Speaker 1: can't stop thinking about it. Oh. Anyway, speaking of that,
Speaker 1: Boys Wear Pink dot com. Check out our charitable clothing
Speaker 1: line UH for toddlers. The Goat coming out on Prime.
Speaker 1: That'll be a lot of fun. Got a lot of
Speaker 1: tour dates coming up throughout the Midwest, Vegas, nor Cow. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be good times. Now it's time for my
Speaker 1: son's bedtime story. See you next week, guys, care Pearl.
Speaker 4: There was a Salway city called Mawabill And in that baby,
Speaker 4: there's an old place and the old place went old
Speaker 4: calls and it andything was oh eating the place. There's
Speaker 4: an old there as stans until they fisted, desisted a
Speaker 4: boy named.
Speaker 1: And this boy named.
Speaker 4: Hadamy eyes. Then he waited someone and he didn't know
Speaker 4: about the driving one until he were the babies. And
Speaker 4: he's hundred and he was a big brother and he
Speaker 4: handed a baby sick
Speaker 1: Back Indian