1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,239 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories 3 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot. 5 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 2: My mother in law keeps overstepping my parenting. I finally 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 2: stood my ground. 7 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 3: Girl. 8 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 4: Why don't you take three steps back real quick? 9 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 5: Three SATs back and then what that's it? 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 4: Just through suspect overstepping. 11 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 2: This weekend, we the husband, daughter four years old, and 12 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 2: son eleven months are going camping. Yay. We're meaning mother 13 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 2: in law and father in law out there, followed by 14 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 2: sister in law and her fiance. Possibly some friends as well, 15 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 2: but probably not overnight, so mainly I'll be stuck with 16 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 2: the in laws all weekend. Yay. By the way, this 17 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 2: comes from Fickle Lion Art and if you want to 18 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay Storytime Separate. 19 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 2: So the camping spot is literally in the middle of nowhere. 20 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 2: You drive through a very tiny, thin path that fits 21 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 2: one vehicle at a time, very slowly, for about an 22 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 2: hour and a half to two hours. Then you suddenly 23 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 2: come to a huge opening with a gorgeous beach and 24 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: a lake It's our favorite spot and we go every 25 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 2: year except last year because I was super pregnant with 26 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 2: our second baby, which is part of my issue. 27 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,960 Speaker 4: What you keep getting pregnant. 28 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 2: I consider myself to have a fairly shiny spine, now 29 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 2: getting shinier with every interaction with mother in law. However, 30 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 2: I never used to have one. In fact, for the 31 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 2: entire time my daughter has been growing up until this year, 32 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,119 Speaker 2: I add what I referred to as a limp noodle 33 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 2: spine when it came to mother in law. She has 34 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 2: an obnoxiously ginormous and loud presence slash personality, and is 35 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 2: the main character in every room she steps in. Because 36 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 2: of this, when my daughter was growing up, my mother 37 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 2: in law boundaries, stomped constantly and basically took over as 38 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 2: if she were the mom. I honestly feel like she 39 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 2: likes to play mommy with my kids. It's gross and weird. 40 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 2: She's always posing with them for photos as if she's 41 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 2: the mom, saying things like, oh, don't worry, Grammy just 42 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 2: has to walk away for a second, but I'll be back. 43 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 2: Don't be sad. Meanwhile, they don't even care or no 44 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 2: she's walking away. She just acts like she's number one 45 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 2: in their life. Or tell grammy, Grammy, we'll help you 46 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 2: what you need, Grammy, we'll get it for you, which 47 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,839 Speaker 2: sounds nice and innocent enough, but I swear she does 48 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 2: it in a way that pushes me aside and makes 49 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 2: it seem like she's drilling into my kid's head to 50 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 2: go to Grammy and not mom for things. If that 51 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 2: makes sense, If we. 52 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 4: Get like a big jump in time, yeah, this might 53 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 4: be a problem because imagine if the kids do go 54 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 4: to Grammy, Grammy, I need to get out of jail. 55 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 2: Grammy, Well that's actually, you know, kind of sucks for Grammy. 56 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 2: Just always deal with them. 57 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 4: Well, they always go to Grammy, and then you don't 58 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 4: know that your child. 59 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:39,799 Speaker 2: Is in jail. 60 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 4: Is in jail. 61 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 2: So when we used to go camping with my firstborn, 62 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 2: she ruined so many experiences by just being herself, being 63 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 2: her usual overtaking and shout about me self. For example, 64 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 2: my daughter has never been cuddly or affectionate, and when 65 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 2: she is, it's a rare and cherished moment for me. 66 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 2: She would be snuggling me around the campfire before bedtime, 67 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 2: and mother in law would come marching across the circle 68 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 2: to us literally saying something like oh, she cuddly, I 69 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 2: want cuddles and just take her out of my arms 70 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 2: and walk back to her seat, which left me so shocked. 71 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 2: I couldn't even move or speak because doubles, WTF. 72 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 4: It's just the weekend. It's just the weekend. It's just 73 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 4: the weekend. 74 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 2: She's constantly going on about how she's the best swimmer ever, 75 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 2: and I was trying to show my todler some I 76 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 2: was trying to show my toddler some tips like punting 77 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 2: your feet and floating, super basic stuff, and she kept 78 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 2: trying to take over, making it seem like I know 79 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 2: nothing in comparison to her. Dude, dude, I would not 80 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 2: want this leady around my shit, my children. 81 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 5: Yeah. 82 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 4: Also, like, get your own kids, get your own kids. 83 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 4: You got to be your grandma. You know what grandma's 84 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 4: You already had your kids. What her grandma's do, Sofia, they'd. 85 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 2: Like give money or something, yeah, candy, Yeah, and they 86 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 2: give candy. 87 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't. Mother. 88 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 5: They pinch your cheeks. 89 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 2: And then you watch TV. 90 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 5: No, they it's like soap operas like. 91 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, the Young and Russells and dude, I stayed 92 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 4: up to date. 93 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 5: With all of the young wrests and the price is right. 94 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 6: Bro. 95 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 2: I always watch Deal or No Deal Master Chef and 96 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 2: like I dream of Jeanie. Wow, those were the those 97 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 2: were the essentials. 98 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 5: Sounds like Rally and I had the same grandma. 99 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 4: Yeah that sounds really somehow. Sometimes get to watch like 100 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,799 Speaker 4: really old seventies. 101 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, yep, even like really old, like like I love 102 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,360 Speaker 5: Lucy Good. Yeah, Genie is a really old one one, 103 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 5: but like yours is a specific young and the restless 104 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 5: got me invested as an eight year old. 105 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: I'm not sure how to explain it, but she makes 106 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 2: everything about her and calls all the attention to herself. 107 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 2: She will follow my kids around and hover over them 108 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 2: and then sit right back beside them, breathing down their 109 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 2: necks so she can be all, oh, look at me, 110 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 2: it's me with the kids. Look at me building sand 111 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 2: castles or blowing bubbles or swimming or whatever I'm doing. 112 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 2: No matter what I do, she inserts herself. Even when 113 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 2: I try saying something to my kids, she's right there 114 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 2: beside me, repeating it but changing it to say, yeah, 115 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 2: yelling makes Grammy sad. If I just told them when 116 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 2: you yell, it makes people feel sad. It's like she's 117 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 2: grooming Slash manipulating them to revolve around her, like I 118 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 2: feel like she did Slash does to my husband. I 119 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 2: hope that makes sense. She's always lunging at me and 120 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 2: others like a maniac. For my second baby, constantly leaping 121 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 2: at whoever has him with her arms out frantically saying 122 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,279 Speaker 2: I take him, which sounds fine, but I also literally 123 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 2: will be standing beside her, and she deliberately keeps walking 124 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 2: away and rolls her eyes when I follow her. Or 125 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 2: if she needs to give him to someone else for 126 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 2: a moment to do something, she pretends I'm not there 127 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: with my arms out for him and asks people to 128 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 2: take him until someone else takes him. That's his mom, 129 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 2: give him to his mom, or if I grab him 130 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 2: from her, she acts annoyed and pissy that I took 131 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: him and acts like I'm a witch, and then wonders 132 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 2: why I never want to give her to him, du her, 133 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 2: or want her near us me and my baby, because 134 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 2: she acts so friggin weird. At least I think that's 135 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 2: weird behavior. So anyway, I know, dang well, she's going 136 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 2: to do this again with my son, and it's his 137 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 2: first time camping, and he's my last baby. Like I said, 138 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 2: I have more of a spine now, so I'm looking 139 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 2: forward to going and getting a redemption first, I guess. 140 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 2: But I feel like a new mom now that I'm 141 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 2: able to speak up and not feel uncomfortable for saying no. 142 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 2: But I'm still worried about her behavior because she is 143 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 2: relentless and gives zero fs about no's and boundaries. 144 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 4: Have you ever been a part of a family where 145 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 4: a certain family member will care about a child whenever 146 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 4: they're young, like a baby, up until they're about four, 147 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 4: and then they don't really care about them and they're 148 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 4: very protective of them at that age. 149 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,559 Speaker 2: Yeah, they just got like baby fever, but then they're like, Okay, 150 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 2: this is like a this is like a child. 151 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 5: Allow. 152 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 4: Yeah. I would like to know how mother in law 153 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 4: treated her Opie's husband later in life and seeing what 154 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 4: kind of patterns we got going here, because you can 155 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 4: kind of tell what this mother in law's going to 156 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 4: do with your kids. Be like, do I want that 157 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 4: those effects that my husband went through to my for 158 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 4: my children to go through? 159 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 7: Yeah? 160 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 2: I mean it's just like I think, if she can't, 161 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 2: if she can't listen to the boundaries that you guys 162 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 2: are trying to set. Then maybe she doesn't get to 163 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 2: be around the kids. 164 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 4: Yikes. 165 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 2: Since we are in the middle of nowhere, stuck together, 166 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 2: we're not camping in the same thing. We have a 167 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 2: pop up trailer and she is a tent, but we're 168 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 2: still camping very close beside each other. I don't want 169 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 2: to ruffle too many feathers, so I'm looking for things 170 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 2: to do slash say to make her back off when 171 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 2: she starts interfering with me making memories with my kids 172 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 2: and undermining my parenting. I don't want it to cause 173 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 2: awkwardness or a big fight or anything. I just want 174 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 2: to deliver the message that she needs to back off. 175 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 4: Do we let our chronic pepee overtake us and we 176 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 4: say and we beat around the bush saying it? Or 177 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 4: do we just go ahead and say it? 178 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 5: Can you just under it? 179 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 4: Yeah? How would you say it? 180 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 2: I think you said you go up to La La 181 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 2: and you say, hey, it seems like you know I've 182 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 2: repeatedly talked to you about how you've been pushing me, 183 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 2: sidelining me while I'm trying to parent, and if you 184 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 2: continue to do this, I'm not gonna allow you to 185 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 2: be around my kids, and you make sure that your 186 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 2: partner's on the same page too. 187 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 4: Also, is this we're just on this trip for a 188 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 4: weekend though, right? Yeah? I think we can do it. 189 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:36,959 Speaker 4: I think we can do it. 190 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,559 Speaker 2: Can we do it? Can we do it? 191 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 6: Is this? 192 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 4: Am I am? I kind of being crazy? Can we 193 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 4: get through this? 194 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 2: Some people? I feel like we could get through a weekend? 195 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 2: But how many weekends do you have to get through? 196 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 2: You know, like there's always going to be another mountain, 197 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 2: You're always gonna want to make a move. 198 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 4: Dang. 199 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 2: Also, for the record, a husband is on my side. 200 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: It took a long time, but he has my back now. 201 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 2: But also note that because of this, she has been 202 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 2: relentlessly pushing back at both of us ten times harder 203 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 2: because she knows we are more solid and when we 204 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 2: aren't taking crap, and we aren't taking crap anymore, and 205 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 2: she hates it. So now we have to deal with 206 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 2: her being extra wild with kid number two. I can't 207 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 2: just leave and go home on a whim. Once we 208 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 2: go out, we are out there for the weekend and 209 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 2: also for the poor, for the poor mother in law 210 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 2: people out there. She does get her grandma time and 211 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,319 Speaker 2: will get plenty of moments with my kids over the weekend. 212 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 2: She also lives ten minutes away and sees them in 213 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 2: overwhelming them out every week. I just feel like she 214 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 2: doesn't also need to interfere with my time as their 215 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 2: mom or take over the whole weekend. And lastly, father 216 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 2: in law is amazing and respects all the boundaries and 217 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:52,319 Speaker 2: rules even if he doesn't understand or agree, but unfortunately 218 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 2: he's an enabler to mother in law. And sister in 219 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 2: law and fiance are also great. It's literally just mother 220 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 2: in law who's horrible. And there is an update, But 221 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 2: do you have any thoughts? 222 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 4: What do you think you on? 223 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 5: Just push her? 224 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 2: I mean like. 225 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 5: Get her away, get her away because you don't want 226 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 5: to imprint kind of like imprinting herself on the child 227 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,959 Speaker 5: where it's like I'm mommy now in a way where 228 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 5: it's like no, like you, you had your shot, you 229 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 5: had your time, you already were a mom. Let me 230 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 5: be a mom. 231 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 6: Like. 232 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 5: I don't get me wrong, I love the help that 233 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 5: she's trying to do and trying to get, but it's 234 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 5: over like, like the title says, overstepping her boundaries. Yeah, 235 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 5: I think I think that's great because moms are of help. 236 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 5: Parents is are of help and they need help and 237 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 5: that's what that's what the grandparents are there for. But 238 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 5: not like this. 239 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:43,600 Speaker 4: Yeah. No, the me growing up, see my grandma take 240 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 4: care of me. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary. 241 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 4: She just I don't know, just be Grandma'll. 242 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 5: Like make you something like food, some. 243 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 2: Toast, I don't know, Yeah, knit me a sweater. 244 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, those are a classic grandma things. 245 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,479 Speaker 2: It's a grandma thing. Why are you trying to overstep 246 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 2: your grandma? 247 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 4: I wonder if the new modern grandma things whenever we're 248 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 4: older it is like Grandpa just three D print me 249 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 4: something Grandma. 250 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,959 Speaker 5: I hope not, or like if I'm a grand. 251 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 4: I mean, are you gonna be crocheting your kids something I. 252 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 2: Don't know how to? I mean I actually technically have. 253 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,199 Speaker 2: I did know at one point how to crochet and knit. 254 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 2: I'm gonna make my mom do it all. 255 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 4: I probably will little stick for kid at. 256 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 5: Nah. 257 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 2: I'm gonna like play dolls or something with my kids, 258 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 2: my grandkids. 259 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 5: I'll build I'll build a Lego set with my my grandad. 260 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 4: To make a movie production with my kids. 261 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 2: My grandma can make a TikTok with grandma. Yep, yep, 262 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 2: they're like, oh this old thing called TikTok because probably. 263 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 4: Heard of one. 264 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 5: We're like back in my day. We only had six seconds. 265 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 4: That's all I needed. We needed to make you guys 266 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:58,839 Speaker 4: joking Joe, were you. 267 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 2: As just like gone? Man, just like update. 268 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 4: I'm gonna get her back. Okay, my my mission this story. 269 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,440 Speaker 4: She's gonna laugh, she's gonna she's gonna come back to life. 270 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,080 Speaker 4: I gotta guys, update for a summary. 271 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 2: My mother in law needs to be the center of 272 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 2: attention at all times, makes everything about her, bulldozes over 273 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 2: everyone's boundaries, and gaslight slash manipulates to get her way, 274 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,719 Speaker 2: including pretending she's so embarrassing or is that hurt her 275 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 2: heart broken? Of her ridiculous things to make you feel 276 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 2: bad and give in to her. She also plays mommy 277 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,680 Speaker 2: with my kids to the point she's completely taking over 278 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 2: whenever she's around, and has even created a barricade with 279 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 2: multiple chairs between me and my second baby that she 280 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 2: snatched out of my arm so I couldn't get to 281 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 2: her quickly. What is this woman playing freaking squid games? 282 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 4: Yeah? 283 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 2: Go on, you know when they make a barricade at 284 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 2: night so that you can't get attacked by the other players. 285 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, we're playing for Fortnite. 286 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,319 Speaker 2: Oh yeah? Is this woman in the French Revolution? 287 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 4: Capture the flag? Capture the baby? 288 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,439 Speaker 2: Oh I want to fight capture the flag. She makes 289 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 2: my life miserable and she is exhausting to even think about. Anyway, 290 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 2: here is how my weekend went. Since so many people 291 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 2: ask for an update. Oh boy, I'm extremely irritated and exhausted, 292 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 2: which from my original post I already said I knew 293 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 2: I would be, so I don't need any I told 294 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 2: you so, people, loll. I mainly went for my kids, 295 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 2: and I did have a good time with them and 296 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 2: also honestly with everyone else except mother in law, so 297 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 2: other than her, I guess it was a decent weekend. 298 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 2: But here are some highlights. I guess so bullet points. 299 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,280 Speaker 2: Got to the campsite where mother in law and father 300 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 2: in law had already set up their camping gear, and 301 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 2: of course mother in law charged me and the kids 302 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 2: or female in eleven months, immediately buzzing in their ears 303 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:55,680 Speaker 2: and hovering around them. Literally every time I tried to 304 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:57,719 Speaker 2: say anything to my four year old daughter. Mother in 305 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 2: law was right there, repeating what I said and adding 306 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 2: her own two cents, or just straight up going against 307 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 2: what I was saying and saying something else. I had 308 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,559 Speaker 2: to constantly tell her to let me parent my daughter 309 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 2: and to back off to what She acted annoyed and 310 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 2: walked away, or sometimes she literally just laughed, ha, like 311 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 2: a crazy person. 312 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 4: What planet is this woman on? 313 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 2: Uh? The crazy person planet. My daughter took sister in 314 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 2: law's beach towel and ran away with it, then got 315 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,400 Speaker 2: distracted by something else and threw it on the ground. 316 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 2: We camped on a sandy beach. Her fresh towel got 317 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 2: full of sand, and I told my daughter to pick 318 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 2: up Auntie's towel, give it back and say sorry. My 319 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 2: daughter was cranky as it was the last day we 320 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 2: were midpacking up and it was coming up on her naptime, 321 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 2: so she was whining and saying no. She also gets 322 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 2: embarrassed when she needs to say sorry, so she says 323 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 2: no because she's embarrassed to do it. So I'm standing 324 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 2: there trying to tell my daughter that it's okay and 325 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: she isn't in trouble, but she does need to give 326 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 2: it back and say sorry for throwing it in the sand. 327 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 2: Here comes mother in law over and picks up the 328 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 2: towel and says, here, I'll do it. Do you want 329 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 2: me to do it, to which I say no, mother 330 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 2: in law, she needs to do it, and mother in 331 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 2: law ignored me and kept telling my daughter it's okay, 332 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 2: it's okay. I just said no, daughter, you need to 333 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 2: say sorry, and eventually just straight up told mother in 334 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 2: law again to back off and stop interfering and going 335 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 2: against me. 336 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 4: All right. 337 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 2: Then I told my daughter in front of mother in 338 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 2: law that she needs to listen to mommy, and if 339 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 2: someone else tells her something after mom says something, then 340 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 2: what they say doesn't matter because she should listen to mo. 341 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 2: Mother in law again acted like I was just a 342 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 2: witch or something. My daughter fell and started crying, super simple. 343 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 2: She was fine. This is another event that happened. She 344 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 2: was in mother in law's tent with mother in law 345 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 2: hanging out and tripped on the opening. While walking out 346 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 2: of the tent. I heard her cry and yelled to 347 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 2: her from very from some steps away, daughter, are you 348 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 2: all right, to which mother in law answered for yeah, 349 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 2: she's fine, are you daughter? 350 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 4: Is your name? 351 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: Daughter? 352 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,239 Speaker 4: Wow? I didn't know you could understand my daughter's emotions. 353 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. I didn't know you were a mind reader, 354 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 2: so I shouted back, well, I want to hear my 355 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 2: daughter tell me she's all right. That's why I asked her. 356 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 2: Not a peep from mother in law. By the way, 357 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 2: if it isn't obvious by now, mother in law loves 358 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 2: to intimidate people and force them to do what she wants, 359 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 2: But as soon as you call her out or fight back, 360 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 2: she starts stumbling over her words, grasping at straws, trying 361 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 2: to gaslight or manipulate you for her power back, and 362 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 2: usually ends up making some snarky comment about how she 363 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 2: doesn't even care and walking away. Every time my daughter 364 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 2: wants to do something with me, it's like my mother 365 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 2: in law was jealous or something. Mother in law just 366 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 2: kept hovering around and trying to lure my daughter and 367 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 2: son into doing it with her instead, Like they were 368 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 2: swimming with me in the lake and mother in law 369 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 2: kept buzzing around my daughter saying, come swim with Nana, 370 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 2: Come swim with Nana, and my daughter was very clearly 371 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 2: getting annoyed and kept saying, no, I'm swimming with my 372 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 2: mommy and mother in law just would not accept it 373 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 2: until father in law overheard and said stop bowling them 374 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 2: nice in a half joking way, but it definitely called 375 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 2: her attention attention to her and made her go swim 376 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,880 Speaker 2: away by herself. Then she called attention to herself by 377 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 2: telling everyone to look at how far out she swam? 378 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 4: Dude, Okay, is she a child? 379 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,159 Speaker 2: She's like, look how far out I swam? 380 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 4: I was about to say that word. 381 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 2: Look, I could do a handstand. 382 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,639 Speaker 4: If I was this person's partner, I would get the 383 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 4: itch so quick, like what are we doing? 384 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 2: Come on? 385 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:26,359 Speaker 4: What? 386 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:27,399 Speaker 6: Uh? 387 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 4: How can you be with someone like this? What? How 388 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 4: does this happen? 389 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,359 Speaker 2: I have no idea. 390 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 4: I'm so confused right now. What in her mind from 391 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,719 Speaker 4: her past is making her act like this? That's what 392 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 4: I want to know. I'm want to dive deep into her. 393 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 2: She's a very jealous person who needs attention on her 394 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 2: at all times, and. 395 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 4: I want to dive deep into her brain cells and 396 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,880 Speaker 4: understand the mapping of her behavior. Yeah, Like, how does 397 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,199 Speaker 4: someone get this way jealousy? I think so she had 398 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 4: only child. I need answers everyone. 399 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 2: I tried talking to and asking questions mother in law, 400 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 2: what am for them. No one bats a eye. They're 401 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 2: so used to it, it's ridiculous. I wasn't having any 402 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 2: of her crap this weekend, so right off the bat, 403 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 2: every time she did it, I either repeated my question 404 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,919 Speaker 2: to the person, told her I wasn't asking her, or 405 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 2: said something in a lighthearted way like oh, I didn't 406 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 2: realize your name was X, which made people giggle but 407 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 2: got the point across. Except mother in law is such 408 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 2: an intention hogger. She wouldn't back down. She would answer 409 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 2: question after question. A husband was telling a story from 410 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,880 Speaker 2: his past and I asked three questions in a row 411 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 2: to get a better picture, and mother in law kept 412 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 2: answering as if it was her story. She wasn't even there. 413 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 2: She tells everyone's stories as if it's her own, as 414 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 2: if she was there, and tries to find ways to 415 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,679 Speaker 2: insert herself into everyone's stories. It was daughter's bedtime, and 416 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,399 Speaker 2: I brought two books to the campfire, one for me, 417 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 2: one for her dad to read to her, as we 418 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,400 Speaker 2: had done every single night since she was a few 419 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 2: weeks old. Mother in law literally had her on her 420 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 2: lap and would not let her go. I kept saying, 421 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 2: come here, wait, this is ope, Come here. Daughter, come 422 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,159 Speaker 2: read a story, and mother in law kept holding her 423 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 2: on her lap and saying, how nana can read it? 424 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 2: Want nana to read it instead, and I kept saying no, 425 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 2: mom and dad have read her stories since she was 426 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,160 Speaker 2: a baby. This is what she's used to. We can 427 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 2: read the stories. At one point, she even slid daughter 428 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,800 Speaker 2: off her lap because she accidentally punted over her adult 429 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 2: soda on the ground and held her with one arm 430 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 2: and frantically said, don't go anywhere, to which I called 431 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 2: her out and said, well, you don't have to hold 432 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 2: my daughter hostage. She can go if she wants to, 433 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 2: and mother in law acted all sheepish and said, still 434 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 2: holding her. Well, yeah she can, but she said she 435 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,159 Speaker 2: wants to sit on my lap. Meanwhile, my daughter was 436 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 2: clearly trying to subtly wander away when she thought she 437 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 2: had a chance to finally this her four year old's. 438 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 4: Like, please, she's holding me hot, I can't help anywhere. 439 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,200 Speaker 4: Oh dude, can we do anything here? 440 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,560 Speaker 2: Well, it seems like your husband needs to do more, 441 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,880 Speaker 2: because he said he's on your side. 442 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:06,479 Speaker 4: Like yeah, father in along. Definitely, I would haven't been 443 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 4: ze functions. 444 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 5: I would have the conversation with the father in law like, yeah, 445 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,240 Speaker 5: could you tell her to stop? And you know, like 446 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 5: you see what she's doing. 447 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's up. Man. 448 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,600 Speaker 4: I have seen family members where their wife just acts 449 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 4: super crazy and the husband gives up. He's like, yeah, 450 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,760 Speaker 4: I can't he's so crazy. 451 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,440 Speaker 5: Usually the husband does not want to deal with it 452 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 5: because they're like, oh, I'm gonna get the now it's 453 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 5: gonna be the focus is gonna be towards me, like 454 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 5: the angers just straight towards me, and you like, I'd 455 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 5: rather not. 456 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:39,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. 457 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so sad to watch. 458 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 2: Uh, Miss jay Bird says op He does need to 459 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 2: relax a bit too use her so you can get 460 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 2: a break. Yeah, I mean it seems like it seems 461 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 2: like this is just constant though, Like even when Opie 462 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 2: wants to hang out with. 463 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,479 Speaker 4: Her kids whenever the reading the story thing, maybe let 464 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 4: the mother in law do it. 465 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that would be a moment where 466 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:01,119 Speaker 2: that would be fined. 467 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,720 Speaker 5: If it was like, you know, once every you know, 468 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,920 Speaker 5: in a blue moon, or like a couple times a month, 469 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 5: that's fine, But it's like it's literally every time you 470 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 5: see the baby, it's like that's that. 471 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,919 Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like in normal circumstances. If there were 472 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 2: like a normal mother in law, you'd be like, okay, 473 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 2: well you could let her read the stories. That's you know, 474 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 2: let her be ave a little bit. But because it's 475 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 2: so you know, so constant, I got up when I 476 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 2: noticed that and just picked her up and took her 477 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 2: over to me and continued our bedtime routine, ignoring mother 478 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 2: in law the entire time. After that, which she hated, 479 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,159 Speaker 2: sister in law was saying how husband and I make 480 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,320 Speaker 2: such cute babies, and then teasing her brother saying which, 481 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,840 Speaker 2: obviously they got all of that from ope, not you, 482 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,919 Speaker 2: to which mother in law hyped up and said thanks 483 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 2: a lot, and we all looked at her confused, which 484 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 2: then she went on and on about how my kids 485 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 2: some outcome from all of her personal genes, and I 486 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 2: was saying, they don't get their cuteness from husband. Her 487 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,800 Speaker 2: son was a personal attack just to her, So I 488 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 2: at first said, uh, no, they get all their genes 489 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 2: for me, because you know I'm the mother, and husband 490 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 2: too threw them in his kit. Wait what, No, they 491 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 2: get all their genes from me because you know I'm 492 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 2: in the mother, and husband too threw them in in 493 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 2: case she took the angle. It's not just me lol. 494 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 2: She kept going on though, so finally I said, louder 495 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 2: than before, mother in law, you can take credit for 496 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,479 Speaker 2: your own kids, which are right there. I pointed to 497 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 2: sister in law husband, they are your kids, these are mine, 498 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 2: and I just simply walked away. Sister in law thought 499 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,240 Speaker 2: I was very amusing and backed me up, saying, yeah, Mom, 500 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 2: were your kids not Obie's kids, and you're a silly 501 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 2: goose type of tone. Basically, a bunch of little things happened, 502 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 2: but my relationship with my mother in law is a 503 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 2: very much passing away by a thousand paper cuts. These 504 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,199 Speaker 2: little things may sound silly, but all together they're so 505 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 2: freaking irritating. 506 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 4: Yeah I can I could see that. 507 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, she just keeps doing it. Everything is 508 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 2: a battle with this woman. 509 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,679 Speaker 4: I can only imagine and how irritated Sophia is with 510 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,720 Speaker 4: me day to day because I know I work with her, 511 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,919 Speaker 4: and I'm also not the best roommate ever. No, you 512 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 4: are okay, good, So like I'm not at death by 513 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,400 Speaker 4: a thousand cuts. I think I am okay, Hey, met 514 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,880 Speaker 4: I am, But if it wasn't from my awesome personality, 515 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 4: you'd probably be like he's dead to me. 516 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean if you sucked as a person. 517 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, basically what I'm saying. I can understand 518 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 4: how all these little things snacking up upon another. 519 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:32,920 Speaker 2: It's frustrating. Katie Politan says. More people need to start 520 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,440 Speaker 2: calling mother out mother in law out on this behavior, 521 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 2: and not just opee, I. 522 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:40,919 Speaker 4: Know, reverse psychology or no, okay, take it back. We 523 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 4: need to do is when of her mother in law 524 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,919 Speaker 4: does something you like, oh my gosh, thank you, I 525 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:46,440 Speaker 4: love that. 526 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,120 Speaker 2: That is so kind, positive reinforcement, anything else, yeah, nothing, 527 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 2: You ignore her these I just find her entire existence unnecessary. 528 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,920 Speaker 2: She truly is unbearable. My kids love her, especially my daughter, 529 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,160 Speaker 2: so I endure her presence for their sake. But I've 530 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,560 Speaker 2: set ground rules, like my husband asked to be there 531 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 2: at all times because I refuse to be alone with her. 532 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 2: That's when she's at her most fu when she knows 533 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,639 Speaker 2: husband isn't around to witness it or tell her to 534 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 2: knock it off. For those who didn't see my previous post, 535 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,200 Speaker 2: I said a husband had recently gone up to her home, 536 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,919 Speaker 2: which is fifteen minutes away, and told her that he 537 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 2: had been a crappy husband and father due to always 538 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 2: putting her and her want slash feelings above everyone else's 539 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 2: and that stops now finally, so far things have been 540 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,639 Speaker 2: better this weekend. He didn't really notice much. In his defense, 541 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 2: he was cooking food and taking care of the fire. Well, 542 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 2: I basically just got to hang out with the kids 543 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 2: or go off and take some quiet me time. When 544 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,399 Speaker 2: I got overwhelmed by mother in law, he immediately stepped 545 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 2: in and took the kids so I could do that. 546 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 2: It was great. He didn't do much, but when he 547 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,200 Speaker 2: did hear me telling mother in law to back down, 548 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 2: he did tell her to be quiet and back off too. 549 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,359 Speaker 2: He'd say little comments like, oh, he is their mom. 550 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 2: She's got this handled and got his mom to go 551 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,119 Speaker 2: back off. He doesn't know about all the tiny things 552 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 2: she did that annoyed me that I've listed, and I'm 553 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 2: not sure if I'll tell him it's if it's even 554 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 2: worth it or not. But anyway, that was my weekend. 555 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,120 Speaker 2: Oh and as an added bonus, are used very old 556 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 2: pop up trailer we bought off someone local. Broke all 557 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,399 Speaker 2: the heck from the super rough trail you take to 558 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 2: get to the back camping beach, So we can't go 559 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 2: camping anymore this year. Whooo Is that like a thank 560 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 2: God we don't have to go camping with the family anymore. 561 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:30,679 Speaker 4: Wait read that next sentence. 562 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,119 Speaker 2: It's okay, we got a cheap use one just to 563 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,680 Speaker 2: see how camping would be with their family before, and 564 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,720 Speaker 2: we knew it would probably not last more than a 565 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:38,480 Speaker 2: year or so. 566 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,919 Speaker 4: Got it. I thought she was gonna be like glad, 567 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 4: I can't see mother in law. 568 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's okay. I didn't want to go camping again anyway. 569 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 4: I know some people are really into like trailer camping. 570 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:54,880 Speaker 4: They spend two months every weekend going Yeah, it's crazy. 571 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 4: Yeah I don't. I mean I like outdoors. 572 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,959 Speaker 2: I want to I want to go cabin glamping. I 573 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 2: want to go stand a cabin. 574 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 4: We gotta go. We gotta go to Gatlinburg. Where's that Tennessee. 575 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,439 Speaker 2: Let's do it. If we get a cabin, I'm so 576 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 2: down to do like hiking every day and go lake. 577 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:14,920 Speaker 2: Let's get a cabin by a lake. 578 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,560 Speaker 5: You want to go to Tahoe or Big Bear, Well we. 579 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 2: Can also go to Vermont. So overall, my weekend was 580 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:25,560 Speaker 2: spent making memories with the kids while simultaneously continuously telling 581 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 2: mother in law to f off. I am beyond trained 582 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,919 Speaker 2: and so glad it's over. Sorry for such a long post. 583 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 2: If you've read through it, you can give me some 584 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 2: tips and out of better handle things. Going no contact 585 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 2: is not an option, and I'm very very low contact anyway, 586 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 2: or just offer solidarity by telling me I'm not alone 587 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 2: and you have mother in laws who act in similar ways. 588 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 2: I am just blown away by her behavior every time 589 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,639 Speaker 2: I see her, And the worst part, I think is 590 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 2: that everyone else seems oblivious to it and treats me 591 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,399 Speaker 2: like I'm the crazy one. If I say something, she 592 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,119 Speaker 2: has treated like some amazing angel or queen me and 593 00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,679 Speaker 2: while I'm just seen as her attention seeking, snarling baby 594 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 2: rabies witch. Sometimes I wonder, though, why I think she's 595 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 2: so exhausting and horrid when no one else seems to 596 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 2: and everyone else thinks she's wonderful. And there are some comments. 597 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 4: I gotta do camping soon, that's your comment. 598 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,920 Speaker 2: Yep, she sounds really troublesome. Have you asked your significant 599 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 2: other to talk to his mother and set some boundaries? 600 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 2: Mother in law tends to listen to their kids. Opie 601 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,199 Speaker 2: says she really is I have before, and in the 602 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,679 Speaker 2: past he would dodge it or make excuses, which is 603 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 2: a problem. She's really good at doing her efery when 604 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 2: he's not around. He's a smoker and goes outside for 605 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 2: smoke or when we would go to replace usually other 606 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 2: people are up there hanging out. Her home is the 607 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 2: main place in our small town people gather at, so 608 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 2: a lot of times he's outside socializing with the guys 609 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,640 Speaker 2: while I hang out with the kids, which I'm fine with. 610 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 2: I tell him to do this for a break, but 611 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 2: that's when mother in law acts up with her nod 612 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 2: sets to me and the kids. A lot of times 613 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 2: in the past, I think this was more disbelief than 614 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,520 Speaker 2: being a bad husband or whatever. But I would tell 615 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 2: him what she did or said, and he would try 616 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 2: to say no, she didn't, or make excuses like she's 617 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,399 Speaker 2: just an excited grandma, or she's just trying to be 618 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 2: helpful or something dumb. And of course I sounded crazy 619 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 2: when I said it, But she isn't. She's doing it 620 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:22,760 Speaker 2: on purpose for whatever reason anyway, So his excuse would 621 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,919 Speaker 2: be that since he wasn't actually present for the effery, 622 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 2: then it would be awkward and not make sense for 623 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,679 Speaker 2: him to randomly call her hours after we left or 624 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 2: days later, because honestly, it takes me days to weeks 625 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 2: to tell him what his mother did, because I'm so 626 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 2: tired of telling him and having him make excuses for 627 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 2: her or shrug it off like nothing, and in the meantime, 628 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 2: I'm cranky and stressed because I have no one to 629 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 2: talk about it, and then nothing ends up happening. 630 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 4: I will say, Opie sounds like she needs a group 631 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,520 Speaker 4: of girls, group of girls, even mother about the mother 632 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 4: in law. Mother in law needs a group of girls. 633 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 2: Everyone needs a group girls. It's this girl a. 634 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 4: Group, got a bridge night something. 635 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 2: I I think you just need you and your husband 636 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 2: need to go on the same page about like how 637 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 2: you're parenting your children. Yeah, and you need to just 638 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,959 Speaker 2: say like, hey, she's kind of you know, over like 639 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,920 Speaker 2: overstepping whenever I'm trying to parent the kids. And then 640 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 2: she says something else. I think it's frustrating. Yeah, recently, 641 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 2: like a few months ago. Now, I lost it and 642 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 2: told him everything and told him he needs to step 643 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 2: up and stop being a pansy about his mother, otherwise 644 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 2: he's going to lose his wife and kids. 645 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 5: Dang, for a pansy bro, and. 646 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,760 Speaker 2: I told him to pick which one he wants more. 647 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 2: He drove up to his mother's house and told her 648 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 2: he's been a terrible husband and father by protecting his 649 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:44,440 Speaker 2: mother's feelings and wants over mine, and told her he'd 650 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 2: be calling her out on her bs from now on, 651 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 2: and that I will be telling him what she says 652 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 2: and does when he isn't around because he knows she 653 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 2: does it when he leaves the room, and that when 654 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 2: I tell him, he will be contacting her to tell 655 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 2: her to knock it off. Apparently she was good about it, 656 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 2: but ever since then she's been ten million times worse 657 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 2: with me and does it in front of everyone now, 658 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 2: even my husband, like she's challenging us. 659 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 4: Do you want huh? What do you want? Awful get away? 660 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 5: He just wants babies. 661 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:16,480 Speaker 2: Stop, dude, Come on, I mean, at least the husband's 662 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 2: you know, you know, doing something now. Finally, anyway, he 663 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 2: has stepped up more. Not anything crazy, but he has 664 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 2: started to tell her to knock it off, tell her 665 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 2: I'm the kid's mother, not her, and that I have 666 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 2: things handled. He also stops saying that I'm the one 667 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 2: who doesn't want to go to something or blaming things 668 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 2: on me, so he still looks good and started saying sorry, 669 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 2: we have plans and just using we like a team. Wow. Okay, 670 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,200 Speaker 2: Oh he wasn't doing that before. He was like, oh sorry, 671 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 2: oh he doesn't want to do that. Why are you 672 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 2: Your husband was really not doing a great job before. 673 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 2: She did listen to him in the past, but now 674 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 2: she just seems completely unhinged after he called her completely 675 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 2: out about everything. It's exhausting and comment to mostly it 676 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 2: sounds like you did great. I would have liked to 677 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,680 Speaker 2: read more involvement from husband, but as you said, he 678 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 2: has the excuse of being occupied. Where was he for 679 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 2: the storytime debate when she had a hold of your daughter? 680 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 2: That one bothers me most. You also need to start 681 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 2: teaching your daughter that it's okay to say no or 682 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 2: let me go, even to grandma or any adult when 683 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,760 Speaker 2: they're doing something that makes them uncomfortable slash they don't like. 684 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 2: Consider a code word for you and your hobby, like 685 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,440 Speaker 2: every time you're about to be nearer, set up a 686 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,680 Speaker 2: phrase or word to indicate step up. Like mother in 687 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 2: law has a death grip on a child trying to escape. 688 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 2: Husband did we bring bananas or whatever, and he knows 689 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 2: that something is amiss and he needs to step up. 690 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 2: Number one, he may realize more and then catch on 691 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 2: more without needing the codes. And two, shutting down will 692 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 2: mean more from him. 693 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,959 Speaker 4: Okay, I like that. Yeah, I like that makes them 694 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 4: more aware, makes them more aware seeing something. You're not 695 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 4: blatanting like, hey. 696 00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 2: Your mom's missing your mom she's being Yeah, you're just 697 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:02,760 Speaker 2: like bananas, Like. 698 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 4: He passed me the green apples. Hey, husband, I need 699 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,000 Speaker 4: a pine apple. Could you go to the store and 700 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,440 Speaker 4: get some grapes? And then you hit him when they 701 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 4: up yup, just like that. Yeah, just like that, Opie. 702 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 2: He really struggled with that one, I think because his 703 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 2: mother was so dang persistent and would not let up. 704 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 2: She was just buzzing in everyone's ears, saying, Nana, what 705 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,440 Speaker 2: read it? Nana, what read it? So he told her 706 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 2: to stop holding our daughter captive. After I did like, 707 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 2: he backed me up. But then he caved and offered 708 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,480 Speaker 2: her to read his story after I read mine. But 709 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:40,240 Speaker 2: I piped up loudly said no, honey, she loves when 710 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,480 Speaker 2: you read her a story every night, and he said 711 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 2: you're right and started reading. He's like a robot. He's like, 712 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:48,040 Speaker 2: you are right. 713 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 4: I will read now you are correct. 714 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 2: We do teach her that, and she's extremely good at 715 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 2: enforcing her boundaries and telling people now stop, that's not nice, 716 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 2: and telling people to say sorry, even telling people she 717 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 2: speaking and they need to be quiet. I think in 718 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 2: that moment, the way mother in law abruptly and a 719 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,240 Speaker 2: bit aggressively said don't go anywhere, kind of stunned my 720 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 2: daughter in a way I've honestly never really seen her stunned, 721 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 2: and she just stayed put. I think she thought she 722 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,040 Speaker 2: was or would be, in trouble. Any other time she 723 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,840 Speaker 2: would have loudly told her to let her go and 724 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 2: spoken up for herself, but for some reason, this one 725 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 2: time she didn't. It concerns me because I've never seen 726 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,320 Speaker 2: her get so quiet and just stay put. The code 727 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,280 Speaker 2: word is a really good idea husband can tell usually 728 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 2: when I'm fighting his mother off and he jumps in, 729 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,120 Speaker 2: but sometimes he's honestly just oblivious. So a code word 730 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 2: would be helpful and simple enough. And there is a 731 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 2: second update. 732 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host. 733 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 5: Here. 734 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three 735 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,080 Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. 736 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 4: Do you have any thoughts, Riley, I'm gonna go camping soon. 737 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 4: But your husband does me to stand up? 738 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, well it seems like he is. You just don't 739 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 2: think enough. 740 00:33:56,080 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 4: There was Okay. I understand that sometimes when people don't 741 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:04,400 Speaker 4: see a wound, they need to prep it and then 742 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,480 Speaker 4: it will heal over time. I feel like it's going 743 00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:09,360 Speaker 4: from the prep part of what is where is this wound? 744 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,279 Speaker 4: What do I need to do to fix it? And 745 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,959 Speaker 4: it is slowly getting to the healing part. I feel 746 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:17,640 Speaker 4: like he needs to put more focus on what we 747 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 4: need in order to heal this. 748 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, we need a little bit more neo sporn. 749 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 4: Yes, we need more bandages. We need more maybe even 750 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 4: like a stint, maybe a stitch exactly. I just don't 751 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,719 Speaker 4: think he's I think he's on the right track. He's 752 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:30,520 Speaker 4: on the right track. 753 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 2: But I'm on think he just to behave consistently. But 754 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 2: I think he's on the right track. 755 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, just be more in the lookout, I think, is 756 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 4: what I'm looking at. Yeah, update too, Oh there's more. 757 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 2: I ended up telling my husband about the things his 758 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,880 Speaker 2: mother did. At first, I was really reluctant, but he 759 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,160 Speaker 2: said i'd been acting differently since we got back from 760 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,799 Speaker 2: our camping trip last weekend. Although I've been normal, I've 761 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,600 Speaker 2: barely spoken and I've been closed off, and he thought 762 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 2: something really terrible happened. So first, I told him that 763 00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,279 Speaker 2: I'm hesitant to tell him things about his mother. Said, 764 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 2: this is about mom, right, because a lot of times 765 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 2: I'm shrugged her off. I've shrugged it off, or he 766 00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 2: made excuses for her and such. He told me he 767 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,960 Speaker 2: really wants a relationship to work. You can read my 768 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,080 Speaker 2: previous posts, but basically, about two months ago, I told 769 00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,960 Speaker 2: him I was very close to walking out, and he 770 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,840 Speaker 2: drove to his parents' house and told them he's been 771 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,920 Speaker 2: a crappy, has been YadA, YadA, YadA. I decided to 772 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,719 Speaker 2: open up, and I told him about the constant interfering 773 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,480 Speaker 2: with my parenting and overstepping. I told him about her 774 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 2: answering for me when I asked her a question and 775 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 2: telling her it's okay, don't worry about it when I 776 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 2: just told her to say sorry to someone. I also 777 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,920 Speaker 2: told him that I did stand up for myself and 778 00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:39,839 Speaker 2: tell his mother to back off, and I wasn't rude 779 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,400 Speaker 2: about it yet she scoffed and dramatically walked away or 780 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,880 Speaker 2: ignored me, and then repeatedly did what I asked her 781 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,080 Speaker 2: to stop doing all week and long. I said that 782 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,760 Speaker 2: I discussed this with his mother two months ago after 783 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,880 Speaker 2: he told his parents he was done with their crap, 784 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,560 Speaker 2: and his mother told me, Oh, just tell me when 785 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,120 Speaker 2: I do something you don't like, and I won't do it. 786 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,920 Speaker 2: I think that's been said like fifty times. Man. Yeah, 787 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,799 Speaker 2: so I said, what is the point in that when 788 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 2: she acts worse after I tell her, She's like, let 789 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,480 Speaker 2: me know what I'm doing wrong, so I can do 790 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,480 Speaker 2: it even worse, so I can do it the most wrong. 791 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 4: Yeah, you did something wrong there, I'm gonna make it 792 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 4: ten times worse. That was bad. Take that out, editor. 793 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,480 Speaker 2: So my options are to suck it up and resent 794 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,560 Speaker 2: her or tell her to stop. She still does it, 795 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,640 Speaker 2: which just makes me resent her even more for her 796 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 2: blatant disrespect. Husband listened to my entire rant like he 797 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,040 Speaker 2: said he would. Then he apologized to me multiple times, 798 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,719 Speaker 2: telling me he thought I'd handled it when I told 799 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,080 Speaker 2: her to back off. He heard me a few times 800 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,160 Speaker 2: he was off doing things like cooking dinner or trying 801 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 2: to fix our trailer. That but broke things he couldn't 802 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,279 Speaker 2: walk away from, but he said he knows I was 803 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 2: very respectful and she had no reason to react the 804 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,440 Speaker 2: way she did. He had no idea it was eating 805 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,440 Speaker 2: me up so much, and if he had known, he 806 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 2: would have had my back. He acknowledged that his mom 807 00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,560 Speaker 2: definitely does her bs when he's or unable to step in. 808 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,800 Speaker 2: He said he will make more of an effort to 809 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,600 Speaker 2: stay nearby, and if he isn't and I tell him 810 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 2: about something upsetting, he will contact her immediately and tell 811 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,360 Speaker 2: her what she did was unacceptable. I told him I 812 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 2: didn't tell him while out camping because I didn't want 813 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,520 Speaker 2: to ruin his time out there and also didn't want 814 00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 2: to argue while camping. He said he appreciated that. However, 815 00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 2: next time, he wants me to tell him immediately if 816 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,080 Speaker 2: I'm upset so he can support me and stand up 817 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:30,640 Speaker 2: for me. Overall, he was extremely genuine and caring. Hopefully, 818 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,040 Speaker 2: moving forward, he does have my back. He said he 819 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,320 Speaker 2: completely understands why I wouldn't really want to be around 820 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,560 Speaker 2: someone who acts that way, and that he will be 821 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,960 Speaker 2: speaking to her about her role as a grandmother and 822 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,760 Speaker 2: my role as the kid's mother. She needs to stop 823 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:47,359 Speaker 2: playing mom to our kids, especially stop undermining and disrespecting 824 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,719 Speaker 2: me as their mother. I also brought up how he 825 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 2: uses the excuse that she's just an excited grandmother, which 826 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,279 Speaker 2: she said, yes, he did think that sometimes. I asked him, 827 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 2: fair enough, but is that more important than my as 828 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:00,839 Speaker 2: a mother? 829 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:01,360 Speaker 5: Mmmm? 830 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,400 Speaker 2: Good on you, op mm hmmmm mm. Are her memories 831 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 2: and moments as a grandmother more important? He said absolutely not. 832 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,280 Speaker 2: You're right. And also, this is going back to the 833 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,040 Speaker 2: we had mentioned earlier, like people were saying, like, oh, 834 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 2: you know, sometimes you could just let the grandmother, you know, 835 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,479 Speaker 2: help out or whatever the title was, that Opie felt 836 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,759 Speaker 2: like she was missing out on being a mother. So 837 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,359 Speaker 2: I feel like at the at the root of this, 838 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,720 Speaker 2: this is Opie's like I'm missing out on these moments 839 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,600 Speaker 2: because she keeps trying to step in and and like 840 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:33,480 Speaker 2: take them all from me. 841 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, dang or all these. 842 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 2: Moments are also coupled with Opie trying to fend off 843 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,399 Speaker 2: her grandmother or fend off her mother in law, which 844 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:42,160 Speaker 2: is also frustrating. 845 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,239 Speaker 4: She did say, I'm trying to read my I don't 846 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,240 Speaker 4: know it would be cool to read to your kid 847 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:50,600 Speaker 4: at a campfire a story and then being barraged No, no, no, 848 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,279 Speaker 4: let me read read and it's like, you can't have 849 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 4: you can't be with your kids. Yeah, you have to 850 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,560 Speaker 4: protect that, and you're having to fight for that. No 851 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 4: mother should have to fight for then. 852 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,200 Speaker 2: But you know you also don't have to fight for 853 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,920 Speaker 2: what full episodes of stories just like this. Just go 854 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,320 Speaker 2: to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a pokey 855 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,640 Speaker 2: story time. But there is a little bit left to 856 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,560 Speaker 2: the story. Do you have any final final thoughts? 857 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,160 Speaker 4: No, I have none. 858 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 2: Oh they have one, Riley, Yeah, I have one thought. 859 00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 5: One thought. 860 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,520 Speaker 4: I'm gonna bring sister in law into this, get her involved. 861 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,680 Speaker 4: One Does sister in law have kids too? You know 862 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,640 Speaker 4: she also getting the same treatment or will she get 863 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:32,280 Speaker 4: the same treatment? 864 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:33,480 Speaker 2: I don't think so. 865 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,840 Speaker 5: Probably no, one hundred percent. You know why, because the 866 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,680 Speaker 5: mother in law is going to focus all of her 867 00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:38,919 Speaker 5: attention to sister in law. 868 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:40,839 Speaker 2: Well, I think right now I'm saying she doesn't get 869 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 2: there because. 870 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,239 Speaker 4: She doesn't have any kids or not. 871 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,239 Speaker 5: But when that does happen. 872 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 4: She does have kids, Yeah, but I don't know that's 873 00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 4: going to happen. Yeah. I have seen family dynamics where 874 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 4: whenever it's like grandparents and they have like four kids, 875 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 4: and whenever one of the kids have a young and 876 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,879 Speaker 4: they are now like the best kids, like best fam 877 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,399 Speaker 4: because I have the youngest child. Yeah, and then as 878 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,600 Speaker 4: soon as like another young child's around, they kind of 879 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,880 Speaker 4: like forget that and then like the new child child's 880 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,840 Speaker 4: the best one. What are you doing here to replace 881 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,719 Speaker 4: these kids? Yeah? 882 00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:15,319 Speaker 2: Where was I? 883 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:15,440 Speaker 6: Oh? 884 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,680 Speaker 2: Dutchess Cassanda says, I hate that. The husband is like, 885 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:19,680 Speaker 2: I thought you got this, so I didn't step in 886 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,160 Speaker 2: like freaking support your wife. Yeah, used like I thought 887 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:23,920 Speaker 2: you I thought you had a handle, so I thought 888 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:24,800 Speaker 2: I didn't you know. 889 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,200 Speaker 5: Like I said earlier, the husband was like, hmm, don't 890 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:27,719 Speaker 5: want to deal with that. 891 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,360 Speaker 2: The frick really just punted me in the face. 892 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:32,600 Speaker 4: Did this. 893 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,480 Speaker 2: I also told him that she had her time to 894 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,040 Speaker 2: be a mom and now it's just my time. It 895 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 2: is a new age of mothers. She needs to respect 896 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,560 Speaker 2: that or she will lose her grandmother privileges because I 897 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,279 Speaker 2: am done. He agreed that was fair. He agreed to 898 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,279 Speaker 2: keep his mother in her lane, and finally acknowledged it's 899 00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:53,160 Speaker 2: not my job to do so. He also acknowledged that 900 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,160 Speaker 2: he witnessed me attempting to and saw or heard her 901 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:59,800 Speaker 2: blatantly ignore me, So now he knows one hundred percent 902 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,279 Speaker 2: that she acts that way. 903 00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:05,600 Speaker 4: I just hope the husband can walk away knowing how 904 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:07,919 Speaker 4: to support his wife, because it feels like the wife 905 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,440 Speaker 4: has like a shield. This is what the wife's doing now, 906 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,719 Speaker 4: shield sword baby. She's having to carry all three man 907 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:16,879 Speaker 4: and another baby. She has like two babies and doing 908 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:17,959 Speaker 4: this and the husband's. 909 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 2: Like, it's exhausting. He's like, you got this, You're good, 910 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 2: You're doing great. From the sidelines, it's behind a door, 911 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:26,640 Speaker 2: He's like, you got this. 912 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:27,840 Speaker 4: Yeah. 913 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story. 914 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:33,319 Speaker 4: My boyfriend's family condolens his cheating, so I pulled back 915 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:34,760 Speaker 4: my support for his daughter. 916 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, if they're gonna support him cheating, then you gotta 917 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,640 Speaker 2: support leavin. 918 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 4: I try. I Female twenty nine usually stay with my 919 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,719 Speaker 4: boyfriend Carl thirty eight male on weekends. He lives with 920 00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:52,399 Speaker 4: his daughter sixteen female when he is in. When he 921 00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,120 Speaker 4: is in due to joint customing, he works a job 922 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 4: that he hates because he has no opportunities for growing 923 00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:01,280 Speaker 4: his career. So seven months ago, he started a company 924 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,480 Speaker 4: with an associate, Gabby thirty five female. By the way, 925 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 4: this comes from small Room in twenty three and if 926 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 4: you want to me your old stories, go to Okay 927 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 4: Storytime Subred. So she's definitely successful and knowledgeable. So my 928 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:16,080 Speaker 4: concern was what would happen if she ever decided to 929 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,560 Speaker 4: cut him off. I'm mentioning this because his contribution to 930 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,600 Speaker 4: their association was to bring clients but not technical or anything. 931 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,880 Speaker 4: But not technically, not technical. 932 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,160 Speaker 2: And he has no technical like he's not helping the 933 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,919 Speaker 2: company in any technical or like business way or something. 934 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:32,880 Speaker 2: He just knows people. 935 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,920 Speaker 4: Okay, this is a tricky line because I know a 936 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:40,479 Speaker 4: guy that runs a virtual like animations. He's the guy. 937 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,960 Speaker 4: He's pretty technical too, but he knows everyone and basically 938 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,719 Speaker 4: can produce a movie with just his team, but he 939 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,919 Speaker 4: doesn't release their names, so he's like the middleman. Yeah. 940 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,920 Speaker 2: See, the problem is once you introduce all the clients, 941 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,759 Speaker 2: it's like you kind of made yourself obsolete a little bit. 942 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, for the past five months he stayed out late 943 00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,160 Speaker 4: while working on their plants, had any reason for doubt 944 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:04,120 Speaker 4: or suspicion until he went to meet her on a 945 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:07,240 Speaker 4: Sunday afternoon. I didn't say anything because I know starting 946 00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,080 Speaker 4: a business requires a lot of effort, but it's odd 947 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,160 Speaker 4: to allow an associate to interfere with family life. Two 948 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,280 Speaker 4: weekends ago, she showed up and beriated him for cheating 949 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:19,080 Speaker 4: on her. We were hanging out at his place with 950 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,920 Speaker 4: his two brothers, mother in law, and his daughter and 951 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:24,359 Speaker 4: sister in law. Gabby showed up knocking out the door 952 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:27,280 Speaker 4: while Carl was in the shower. I started getting weirded 953 00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,160 Speaker 4: out when his family seemed hesitant to answer the door. 954 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 4: His brother finally went to talk to her, but she 955 00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:37,319 Speaker 4: walked past him and confronted me. She asked about her relationship. 956 00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:41,200 Speaker 4: I'll admit I was a bit rude because I got defensive. 957 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, because someone just came in and said, Wow, why 958 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:45,200 Speaker 2: do you know Carl, And You're like, this is my 959 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:46,319 Speaker 2: freaking boyfriend. 960 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,920 Speaker 4: His older brother went to Carl and it all turned 961 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:53,480 Speaker 4: into a crap shot. At this point, I'm disgusted. I 962 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,239 Speaker 4: don't know who was the real girlfriend and who was 963 00:43:56,280 --> 00:44:00,000 Speaker 4: the side chick. Also, it's worth noting that she accused 964 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,240 Speaker 4: his family of betraying her. Did they even work together 965 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,320 Speaker 4: Gabby and Carl? Yeah, they did for sure? Or was 966 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,360 Speaker 4: it always a lie? 967 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:07,919 Speaker 2: Mmm? 968 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:12,280 Speaker 4: I see him Carl remained vague when I demanded some answers, 969 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,680 Speaker 4: and I felt like slapping him, but I controlled myself. 970 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,239 Speaker 4: She stormed out after an ugly exchange. I broke up 971 00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,759 Speaker 4: with him that same day and haven't been able to 972 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,520 Speaker 4: find my way back into a good mental state. I 973 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:28,799 Speaker 4: can't believe anything he says, so whatever he explains will 974 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:29,399 Speaker 4: be a lie. 975 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 2: There is no explanation he was he was seeing two 976 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:33,080 Speaker 2: people at the same time. 977 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:36,319 Speaker 4: Yeah. Ugh, this is where I might be the a hole. 978 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,080 Speaker 4: I made the decision to pull my support for his daughter. 979 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,360 Speaker 4: I had been paying for a makeup subscription box, but 980 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,920 Speaker 4: canceled it. Okay, she was getting her prom dress as 981 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,760 Speaker 4: a loan from a friend of mine who has four girls. 982 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 4: I told my friend what happened, and we agreed that 983 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,839 Speaker 4: it's his daughter. Oh and we agreed that his daughter 984 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,439 Speaker 4: doesn't deserve any of my help. 985 00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:00,319 Speaker 2: Okay, see, okay, I understood the makeup subscription, But like 986 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,280 Speaker 2: telling your friend not to give her a discount, seems 987 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,640 Speaker 2: a little harsh. Like the daughter didn't do anything. 988 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:09,440 Speaker 4: Wrong, daughter didn't do anything. I say, whatever commitments you have, 989 00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,680 Speaker 4: the daughter, ruffle them ount Like. 990 00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:14,520 Speaker 2: I think the makeup subscription one makes sense because that's 991 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,640 Speaker 2: like ongoing paying money. Yeah, but like the other one 992 00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:18,600 Speaker 2: is just a discount. 993 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, just a discount. Maybe after prom ruffle it out, 994 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:22,640 Speaker 4: you aren't gonna get it anymore. 995 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, could erivances. That's not her responsibility, not the ale. 996 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,319 Speaker 2: I agree, it's not her responsibility, but I think it's 997 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,719 Speaker 2: for me. It's like, it's not her responsibility to keep 998 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:36,319 Speaker 2: something going, but I feel like taking something away that 999 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,960 Speaker 2: actually doesn't have any you know, the monetary you know. 1000 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,400 Speaker 4: So she also punts them both off of my streaming 1001 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:46,400 Speaker 4: services and will not keep and will not help with 1002 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,040 Speaker 4: the history school project, nor will I keep her in 1003 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,160 Speaker 4: my magazine subscription plan. So things like that that. 1004 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,520 Speaker 2: Makes more sense to me of like things where Yeah, 1005 00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:58,920 Speaker 2: I just think the the direct mom dress thing feels 1006 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:02,520 Speaker 2: like a little bit of her you know, unnecessary one. 1007 00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,680 Speaker 4: Okay, No, Ded Carl reached out trying to discuss what 1008 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,840 Speaker 4: I'm doing about his daughter. He just said, he just 1009 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:12,239 Speaker 4: said she's just a teenager and she shouldn't pay for 1010 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,400 Speaker 4: his mistakes. I agree that she has no power to 1011 00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,160 Speaker 4: keep him from doing bad things, nor to keep him 1012 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,040 Speaker 4: from being a liar. And I know that she wouldn't 1013 00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,319 Speaker 4: be in a position to tell Slash warn me about 1014 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,720 Speaker 4: her dad was cheating. But she's almost seventeen next month, 1015 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:30,440 Speaker 4: and she's very immature, and she's definitely capable of telling 1016 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,920 Speaker 4: right from wrong. She had zero problems getting stuff and 1017 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,360 Speaker 4: receiving help and favors from me, and was comfortable asking 1018 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:40,320 Speaker 4: for things. She's not a brat or the demanding type. 1019 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,920 Speaker 4: She's low key asked for stuff and I was happy 1020 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:46,279 Speaker 4: to help. I'm sure she also benefited from Gabby the 1021 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,320 Speaker 4: other girl, because it makes sense since I'm under the 1022 00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,960 Speaker 4: impression that Gabby was no stranger to her either. I 1023 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,840 Speaker 4: told him let Gabby do it, and he tried to 1024 00:46:56,080 --> 00:47:01,560 Speaker 4: complain about how Gabby vandalized their website. Oh, she choke 1025 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,600 Speaker 4: their page down and it shows and all it shows 1026 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:05,279 Speaker 4: is a black screen. 1027 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,759 Speaker 2: Because he has no technical he can't help. But the 1028 00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:08,960 Speaker 2: taat is now at works. 1029 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:12,160 Speaker 4: He says. She locked him out of all logins and 1030 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:17,000 Speaker 4: supposedly and all her contacts block him. The only thing 1031 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:20,160 Speaker 4: giving a little drawer right now is imagining him unclothed 1032 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,240 Speaker 4: and holding his balls out in the cold. Oh like 1033 00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:24,160 Speaker 4: like he's like, he's like. 1034 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,960 Speaker 2: It's just like metaphorically, yeah, am I the a hole. 1035 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,560 Speaker 4: My friends are divided over this, not because of him, 1036 00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,920 Speaker 4: but because they say she's just a teenager comments he's 1037 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:35,880 Speaker 4: johnio og host here. 1038 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:37,279 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but he's a 1039 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,359 Speaker 1: quick three minute break of aspim more sponsors. 1040 00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,879 Speaker 2: I was wondering if she even knew, but I guess 1041 00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,520 Speaker 2: the whole family kind of knew what the situation was. 1042 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:50,359 Speaker 2: I honestly I probably would have done the you know, 1043 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,480 Speaker 2: stop continuing to paying for to pay for stuff, but 1044 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:54,960 Speaker 2: I wouldn't have done the dress. 1045 00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:57,720 Speaker 4: Thing, the dress things too far. That's Sophia's line. 1046 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,240 Speaker 2: I think it's just like you don't need to like 1047 00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:04,040 Speaker 2: like don't I think my line is just don't do anything, 1048 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,440 Speaker 2: you know, like no further things. 1049 00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,640 Speaker 4: Got it ruffle it out update Thanks to everyone who 1050 00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:13,160 Speaker 4: took time to reply. I think the consensus was about 1051 00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:16,000 Speaker 4: his daughter. I will not be contacting her at all. 1052 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:19,560 Speaker 4: I reached out to Gabby via social media and she replied. 1053 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,880 Speaker 4: I explained my position and that I didn't know about 1054 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,360 Speaker 4: her hints why I was very rude and reacted with hostility. 1055 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,839 Speaker 4: We exchanged messages. She said that initially he told her 1056 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,520 Speaker 4: we were in an open relationship, but that was about 1057 00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,400 Speaker 4: to end. They were talking for months before they began 1058 00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:39,600 Speaker 4: their relationship. She said he first introduced his kid, then 1059 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,480 Speaker 4: his younger brother, and that she met his mom when 1060 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,839 Speaker 4: Paul invited her for lunch and had his mom show 1061 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:49,319 Speaker 4: up without telling her. Also, she said his mom was 1062 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,640 Speaker 4: less than friendly and made a small scene because she 1063 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,160 Speaker 4: decided to pick a fight with her boyfriend. He and 1064 00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:58,040 Speaker 4: mother in law are currently broken up. There's no way 1065 00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,799 Speaker 4: she's making this up. Mother in law treated that guy 1066 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,560 Speaker 4: like crap about his daughter. Paul used to visit Gabby 1067 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,759 Speaker 4: on some weekends and would leave his kid at Gabby's 1068 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,360 Speaker 4: place because they bonded over do you do it yourself projects? 1069 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:11,879 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1070 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:17,479 Speaker 4: Why, now I know where his daughter got her fairy Yeah, 1071 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:22,799 Speaker 4: fairy fairy, witchy, fantasy elf, palmer, clay, jewelry, and hair 1072 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:26,480 Speaker 4: assessories from So, I guess his working weekend gigs was 1073 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:26,879 Speaker 4: a lie? 1074 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,160 Speaker 2: Oh, so saying like, yeah, Gabby got all that, Yeah, 1075 00:49:30,480 --> 00:49:31,840 Speaker 2: his daughter got it all from Yabby. 1076 00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:34,040 Speaker 4: She said they became a couple about a month or 1077 00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,759 Speaker 4: two after starting their company because she wouldn't accept an 1078 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:41,600 Speaker 4: open relationship. He told her we were done, when in 1079 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:46,360 Speaker 4: fact we had never broken up, had a crisis nothing, Gabby, 1080 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,720 Speaker 4: mentioning that her dad, Ethan, hates him and that things 1081 00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:53,040 Speaker 4: began to get rough because of things he did and 1082 00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:57,040 Speaker 4: her dad noticed. She said she her dad and other 1083 00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:02,480 Speaker 4: family members always meet Saturday dinner or Sunday brunch at 1084 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:06,280 Speaker 4: a particular restaurant, and her dad noticed how she always 1085 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,480 Speaker 4: paid for Paul and his kid. If Paul ever paid 1086 00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:13,120 Speaker 4: for his own food, he never paid for hers. She said. 1087 00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,680 Speaker 4: Her dad called her out because he usually paid for 1088 00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:19,279 Speaker 4: everyone his treat his family, and he was getting very 1089 00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:23,040 Speaker 4: uncomfortable about Paul. He even paid for Paul to avoid 1090 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:26,480 Speaker 4: making a scene, but he was fed up. Her dad 1091 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:30,280 Speaker 4: told Paul he expected to be treated for a change 1092 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,520 Speaker 4: as a hostility joke when they arrived at the restaurant, 1093 00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:38,560 Speaker 4: and Paul was very offended. Later, Paul told her that 1094 00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:42,160 Speaker 4: her dad's remark was a put down. She also said 1095 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,280 Speaker 4: her best friend raised concerns about him and that everything 1096 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:49,000 Speaker 4: started to crumble because he didn't attend her family's Christmas 1097 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:52,200 Speaker 4: lunch as he had planned. He remained low key during 1098 00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:56,399 Speaker 4: the holidays and and claimed to have influenza. He used 1099 00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:00,279 Speaker 4: both of us, but he took far more advantage of 1100 00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:04,880 Speaker 4: her because she made material things available. While I don't 1101 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:09,040 Speaker 4: know her except for this situation, her messages show that 1102 00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:13,920 Speaker 4: she's very affected but mostly angry. I wouldn't be surprised 1103 00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,520 Speaker 4: if she ended up destroying him. She repeatedly mentioned that 1104 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,960 Speaker 4: he deserves to have his life ruined. And guys, your 1105 00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:22,839 Speaker 4: life will not be ruined. If you go to your 1106 00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:26,240 Speaker 4: favorite podcast platform, search up Okay, story time and boom, 1107 00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,799 Speaker 4: we will give you the guideline on how to not 1108 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:32,520 Speaker 4: ruin your lives. That's all you gotta do. Three simple stories. 1109 00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:34,480 Speaker 2: All you gotta do one, two, three? 1110 00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:39,480 Speaker 4: And Sylvia, would you ever juggle if you're in a relationship? No, 1111 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:40,359 Speaker 4: two people at once? 1112 00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:41,200 Speaker 2: Why would I do that? 1113 00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:43,360 Speaker 4: Well, one of them's holding down the company and the 1114 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:46,400 Speaker 4: other one is, you know, taking care of your kid. 1115 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,480 Speaker 4: M No, okay, you got there. 1116 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:53,440 Speaker 2: Guys, you shouldn't either unless everyone's informed. This is crazy. 1117 00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,879 Speaker 4: Who's Paul the guy? 1118 00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:56,520 Speaker 7: Look? 1119 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:57,840 Speaker 4: Guy opis X. 1120 00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:01,160 Speaker 2: That's Paul? Then who would they talk? I was so 1121 00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:04,120 Speaker 2: confused in that last time. I really was too wul 1122 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:05,359 Speaker 2: And who's the guy he's talking to? 1123 00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,480 Speaker 4: I didn't know that Paul didn't get an NBA like 1124 00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:11,759 Speaker 4: he told me. He never worked two jobs despite what 1125 00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,800 Speaker 4: he told me and put on his resume. She found 1126 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:18,040 Speaker 4: out because she paid for background checks and other tools 1127 00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:22,320 Speaker 4: when things started not adding up. Supposedly, this was part 1128 00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,359 Speaker 4: of why she started testing his abilities and had been 1129 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:30,399 Speaker 4: thinking about pulling the plug business wise. The ops X yep, 1130 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:34,359 Speaker 4: got it. She said, it's all bs and that he's 1131 00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:38,000 Speaker 4: very insecure about his social standing. She told me a 1132 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,040 Speaker 4: lot of stuff, but in a nutshell, I'm going to 1133 00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:44,560 Speaker 4: get tested for STDs and have already told my family 1134 00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:48,160 Speaker 4: what happened. I'm leaving it at that because writing about 1135 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:52,120 Speaker 4: it makes it really irritating for me being stupid enough 1136 00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,520 Speaker 4: to believe him. Thanks again, and that is the end 1137 00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,040 Speaker 4: of that story, man. And we got one comment on 1138 00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:00,640 Speaker 4: how do you get backdrone checks done? She say what 1139 00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:01,680 Speaker 4: services she used? 1140 00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:03,000 Speaker 3: Like that? 1141 00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,360 Speaker 4: Seems like it should be done right at meeting someone nowadays? 1142 00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:08,600 Speaker 4: She didn't say, but I'm assuming it may be a 1143 00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:12,080 Speaker 4: service used by HR companies. Also, she said that she 1144 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:17,400 Speaker 4: corroborated his said graduation year to the public PDF document 1145 00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:20,480 Speaker 4: from that graduation in that university, and his name was 1146 00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:24,000 Speaker 4: never there nor on PDFs five years back or five 1147 00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:24,600 Speaker 4: years forward. 1148 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:25,560 Speaker 2: And there we have it. 1149 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,080 Speaker 4: Man, dang, she's smart. 1150 00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, Paul, your ex sucks. 1151 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:31,360 Speaker 4: Your ex sucks. 1152 00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,640 Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. 1153 00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:36,080 Speaker 4: In that story, we're gonna do a little collin real quick. 1154 00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:42,320 Speaker 4: All right, So context everyone, This is science. Salise is Salise. 1155 00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,520 Speaker 4: Her and her boyfriend broke up three months ago because 1156 00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:51,040 Speaker 4: of their uncertainty about having kids. Salise, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hello, 1157 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:52,080 Speaker 4: how are you doing. 1158 00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,320 Speaker 3: I am alive. How about your guys? 1159 00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:56,880 Speaker 2: We're also alive. 1160 00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:01,839 Speaker 4: We're also alive and doing great. I've quest how long 1161 00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,319 Speaker 4: have you and your boyfriend been together before you guys 1162 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:05,120 Speaker 4: broke up? 1163 00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,400 Speaker 3: Not long enough to be breaking up of our kids? 1164 00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:10,320 Speaker 3: Six months? 1165 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:11,360 Speaker 4: Six months? 1166 00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:15,640 Speaker 2: And what was the missing especially okay, what was the miscommunication? 1167 00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:20,120 Speaker 7: So essentially, when we very first spot to beget the 1168 00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,759 Speaker 7: I was like very from the start, like just so 1169 00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:25,080 Speaker 7: you know, I don't think I'm gonna want to have 1170 00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:28,640 Speaker 7: kids because I have like history with like other people 1171 00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:32,040 Speaker 7: in relationships getting really upset over that, and so I 1172 00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,080 Speaker 7: just wanted to be really like upfront. But I was 1173 00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:36,560 Speaker 7: also like, I'm really open to changing my mind. I 1174 00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:38,400 Speaker 7: just don't think I do. So that's like a big. 1175 00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,800 Speaker 3: Deal for you. We should probably not be in a relationship. Yeah, 1176 00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:42,879 Speaker 3: And he was very much like. 1177 00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:44,480 Speaker 7: I've always thought I wanted kids, but I'm just not 1178 00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,759 Speaker 7: sure and I'm open to exploring it. 1179 00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,719 Speaker 2: Okay, So you guys were both kind of like we're 1180 00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,080 Speaker 2: open to exploring others like on the fence. 1181 00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:56,319 Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, And then like our relationship not to be 1182 00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,680 Speaker 7: like lage people, it always is this way where it's 1183 00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:00,960 Speaker 7: like my relationship was part I have no idea where 1184 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:04,680 Speaker 7: what's wrong? Like in reality, like we had a really 1185 00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:07,399 Speaker 7: good relationship. We were extremely happy. We had constant check 1186 00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,600 Speaker 7: ins with each other of like, hey, how's it going. 1187 00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,560 Speaker 7: Do we have any like concerns, like is when a 1188 00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:14,799 Speaker 7: communication is she's happening? And we continuously checked in about 1189 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:18,319 Speaker 7: like our future together and it was continuously going better 1190 00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,520 Speaker 7: and better and there was no complaints on either end. 1191 00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:24,920 Speaker 3: And then like five and a half. 1192 00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:29,239 Speaker 7: Weeks ago, we had a issue at dinner where like 1193 00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 7: he had made a comment about kids and I kind 1194 00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:34,399 Speaker 7: of freaked out a little bit and then like brought 1195 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:35,719 Speaker 7: it up with him and then like, hey, when you 1196 00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,879 Speaker 7: say these things, it needs me really anxious kind of way, 1197 00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:44,400 Speaker 7: and his response was very like I'm so sorry, like 1198 00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:46,040 Speaker 7: I'd love to talk to you more about it, like 1199 00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:48,080 Speaker 7: don't worry. It's not something that they don't think about, 1200 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:49,960 Speaker 7: like I do think about the fact that you don't 1201 00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:52,880 Speaker 7: want kids, but like I'm still open to it, and 1202 00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:56,400 Speaker 7: I'm just not like it's too stuon in a relationship 1203 00:55:56,440 --> 00:56:00,960 Speaker 7: to know we're also in our mid twenty a conversation, 1204 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,000 Speaker 7: I felt just like way better about the whole thing, 1205 00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:07,520 Speaker 7: and I like really started to think about, like, Okay, 1206 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:09,520 Speaker 7: do I like why do I not want kids? 1207 00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:12,840 Speaker 3: You know? And so then I started thinking about that. 1208 00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:14,360 Speaker 7: I'm going to do some self discovery for like the 1209 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:15,600 Speaker 7: last five and a half weeks, so I was like, 1210 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,480 Speaker 7: oh wait, actually maybe I do, like I'm trying to 1211 00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:22,200 Speaker 7: have all these different feelings. And then one day, just 1212 00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:23,960 Speaker 7: out of the blue, he came over to my apartment 1213 00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:26,759 Speaker 7: and he started sobbing and said that he'd been thinking 1214 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,880 Speaker 7: about it for like the last week and he just 1215 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,720 Speaker 7: doesn't think he can risk us dating and us breaking 1216 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,920 Speaker 7: up in five years from now when our entire lives 1217 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,920 Speaker 7: are entwined if I don't want kids, and he just 1218 00:56:37,960 --> 00:56:40,000 Speaker 7: wasn't willing to take the risk, and he freaked out 1219 00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:44,200 Speaker 7: and broke up with me. And yeah, and so since then, 1220 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:48,239 Speaker 7: I've been on like a three week intensive therapy trip. 1221 00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:52,160 Speaker 3: Essentially, I'm trying to figure out how I feel about everything, and. 1222 00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,480 Speaker 7: I've discovered that, like a lot of my dislike for 1223 00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:58,680 Speaker 7: having children was actually just me being really scared because 1224 00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:00,560 Speaker 7: I had a really bad childhood and I was scared 1225 00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,759 Speaker 7: that if I had kids, I would just give them 1226 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:07,279 Speaker 7: also a bad childhoods And so yeah, so I have 1227 00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,480 Speaker 7: since like I have since realized that, like I actually 1228 00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:12,799 Speaker 7: do really want children, and I just have a lot 1229 00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,600 Speaker 7: of trauma that I'm still working through in that area, 1230 00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:17,640 Speaker 7: but I do really want kids. And you have reached 1231 00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:18,280 Speaker 7: out to him. 1232 00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:20,480 Speaker 4: You do have trauma, but you're working on that, and 1233 00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:22,320 Speaker 4: it sounds like you're going to like therapy and stuff 1234 00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,080 Speaker 4: like that. Are you doing a lot of self reflection? 1235 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I have. 1236 00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:29,000 Speaker 7: I have a therapist that's like focus is on family 1237 00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,040 Speaker 7: planning and like childhood trauma. 1238 00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,000 Speaker 3: And I've been in therapy for three years. 1239 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,440 Speaker 2: And you reached out to him. 1240 00:57:36,680 --> 00:57:39,439 Speaker 7: Yeah, So I reached out to him and he said 1241 00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:41,480 Speaker 7: he was willing to have dinner, but he wasn't sure 1242 00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,120 Speaker 7: if he was willing to explore our relationship any further. 1243 00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,320 Speaker 7: But he doesn't know that I'm going to drop a 1244 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:51,320 Speaker 7: bomb at the same time, you know. Yeah, So I 1245 00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,120 Speaker 7: just I just want to go in I don't I 1246 00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:54,760 Speaker 7: have my big fears that I'm going to go into 1247 00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,760 Speaker 7: this conversation and he's going to think that I made 1248 00:57:56,800 --> 00:58:00,920 Speaker 7: these changes for him or something, which is definitely not 1249 00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,680 Speaker 7: the case. And I don't know, I just am having 1250 00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:06,280 Speaker 7: like a really hard time because you haven't had any 1251 00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:08,560 Speaker 7: We went from talking all day every day to not 1252 00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:11,600 Speaker 7: having really any communication for three weeks except for like 1253 00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:13,439 Speaker 7: two small comments to each other. 1254 00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:16,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's just like a scary thing to go into. 1255 00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:19,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, I have some I think I've got some thoughts 1256 00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:21,360 Speaker 4: me too, I have a lot of thoughts. So to 1257 00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:24,720 Speaker 4: be clear, he doesn't want kids too, or he does 1258 00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:27,040 Speaker 4: want kids, and you kind of like kids. 1259 00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, And Nasals is saying that through like over the 1260 00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:32,440 Speaker 2: past couple of weeks, you've realized that you also want kids. 1261 00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:36,920 Speaker 4: I think, you know, I've had these troubles happened before 1262 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,280 Speaker 4: in my relationship. We're like, you know, and you know, 1263 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:40,880 Speaker 4: we'll talk and we're like, wow, we don't even know 1264 00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:42,560 Speaker 4: what the future is going to look like. We don't 1265 00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:43,960 Speaker 4: and we get in our heads we don't know what 1266 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,720 Speaker 4: it looks like blah blah blah blah blah, bah blah. 1267 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:49,200 Speaker 4: This guy really sounds like he has your best interest 1268 00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,960 Speaker 4: in mine and being heartbroken. You know, it sucks, it's 1269 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,640 Speaker 4: the worst, it's a risk, but it's also like, you know, 1270 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,760 Speaker 4: loving someone, it shows how much you love them and 1271 00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:02,080 Speaker 4: how much you care for him. And I think, like focusing, 1272 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,720 Speaker 4: like do you do you enjoy spending your day with him? 1273 00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:08,000 Speaker 3: With my boyfriend or my expert friend? 1274 00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,400 Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, your boyfriend yeah yeah, yeah. 1275 00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:13,280 Speaker 6: Yeah, Like I've never I've never had a relationship where 1276 00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,800 Speaker 6: I felt as like actually just secure and happy as 1277 00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,440 Speaker 6: this one. Yeah, like just constantly id like we had 1278 00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:21,440 Speaker 6: no real issues that I could identify. 1279 00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,280 Speaker 4: I think, you know, five years from now, you're going 1280 00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,360 Speaker 4: to be a different and better person. Hopefully five years 1281 00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,160 Speaker 4: from now he'll be a different and better person too. 1282 00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:31,800 Speaker 4: And if you are willing to bet on that and 1283 00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,120 Speaker 4: you're willing to understand, like you know, explain to him 1284 00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:36,760 Speaker 4: like yeah, you know, we can't we're not promised tomorrow. 1285 00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:38,360 Speaker 4: We don't know what tomorrow is really going to look like. 1286 00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:40,560 Speaker 4: But I know today I want to be with you, 1287 00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:42,840 Speaker 4: and I enjoy being with you, and we can figure 1288 00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,640 Speaker 4: that out. You know, as long as we go, I think, 1289 00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:47,960 Speaker 4: you know, yeah, yeah. 1290 00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,520 Speaker 2: I also think on the side of like, you can't 1291 00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:53,920 Speaker 2: really know how he's going to react, and you know, 1292 00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:55,960 Speaker 2: if he does say he doesn't want to get in 1293 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,160 Speaker 2: a relationship where he doesn't, you could only go into 1294 00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:03,640 Speaker 2: this conversation with you know, being honest about your feelings 1295 01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:06,080 Speaker 2: to him and saying, hey, I've had all of his 1296 01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:09,400 Speaker 2: time to reflect and just make it clear that you know, 1297 01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,200 Speaker 2: it's not really about him in this moment, like this 1298 01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,280 Speaker 2: is a decision that you came to by yourself that 1299 01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:17,040 Speaker 2: is kind of separate from him, like I want kids, 1300 01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:21,479 Speaker 2: and just being yeah, being super honest and knowing that 1301 01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:25,480 Speaker 2: whatever he says, you have found something out about yourself 1302 01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:26,720 Speaker 2: and that's a huge deal as well. 1303 01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,920 Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, And it seems like that comment that he 1304 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,200 Speaker 4: made at dinner one time was you know, you know, 1305 01:00:33,320 --> 01:00:35,680 Speaker 4: guys like to think about the future. They like, you know, 1306 01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:38,160 Speaker 4: they see your girl friend across the street and they're like, 1307 01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:40,320 Speaker 4: I can imagine my life with him, and I'm and 1308 01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,600 Speaker 4: I'm betting Like while he was sitting across from you 1309 01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:44,960 Speaker 4: at dinner or beside of you at dinner, he was 1310 01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:47,960 Speaker 4: probably like, man, I like I can't wait to see 1311 01:00:48,560 --> 01:00:50,680 Speaker 4: what that possibly looks like, or like he sees a 1312 01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,800 Speaker 4: glimpse of his future with you, and he also is 1313 01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,680 Speaker 4: scared and he's like, you know, putting up, putting on 1314 01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:59,200 Speaker 4: his armor that he doesn't get hurt later in the future. 1315 01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:01,000 Speaker 4: But you know that's a bet, that's a risk. 1316 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, all relationships are at risk. 1317 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, that you're that you want to decide, like do 1318 01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:06,640 Speaker 4: I want to take it? Do I want to see it? 1319 01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:08,800 Speaker 4: And I think you know, if it doesn't work out 1320 01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:10,160 Speaker 4: in the end, you've. 1321 01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,320 Speaker 2: Still been honest. You've still told him how you felt. 1322 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, you've been honest, you told how you felt. And 1323 01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:17,280 Speaker 4: plus you've enjoyed every moment you've been with that person. Yeah, 1324 01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:19,000 Speaker 4: you can take that for granted. 1325 01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:22,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. Thanks. 1326 01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:26,400 Speaker 7: I mean, I mean, like I'm I'm excited, I'm also terrified. 1327 01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,680 Speaker 2: It's it's a scary conversation, yeah, because it means a 1328 01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:30,880 Speaker 2: lot to you. Yeah, that's a huge conversation. But I 1329 01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:35,480 Speaker 2: think just like knowing I whatever happens like that, this 1330 01:01:35,640 --> 01:01:37,920 Speaker 2: it seems like this the last couple of weeks have 1331 01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,400 Speaker 2: been a really big time of self discovery for you. 1332 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:44,760 Speaker 2: So that's a win, Like regardless it is, however your 1333 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:47,000 Speaker 2: relationship turns out like this is a win for you. 1334 01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:51,240 Speaker 4: And there's a quote. I don't know if if this 1335 01:01:51,640 --> 01:01:54,920 Speaker 4: is like a big quote, but there's something called like 1336 01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:57,720 Speaker 4: I love you more. And sometimes whenever I'm like having 1337 01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,880 Speaker 4: a tough day or like I'm not really like su 1338 01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:01,600 Speaker 4: for sure of my relationship with Angie, I'll be like, 1339 01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:03,400 Speaker 4: I love you more. And it doesn't mean like I 1340 01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:05,800 Speaker 4: love her more than she loves me. It means that 1341 01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:08,080 Speaker 4: I love her more than the obstacles will face than 1342 01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:10,160 Speaker 4: the people that get in between us, then the hard 1343 01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,520 Speaker 4: days ahead of us. And if and you know that 1344 01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:15,120 Speaker 4: I love her more than that, if you if that's 1345 01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:18,280 Speaker 4: sort of like the person you want to like love 1346 01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:21,000 Speaker 4: more than and you want to say that, go for it. 1347 01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:23,280 Speaker 4: But I mean that's up to you. But that's usually 1348 01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:26,400 Speaker 4: a quote that lets me know I'm ready for whatever 1349 01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:29,600 Speaker 4: comes ahead of us and the obstacles. But you got this, 1350 01:02:29,680 --> 01:02:32,720 Speaker 4: you got it ya. Hopefully that helps. 1351 01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:34,680 Speaker 2: Hopefully. 1352 01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:38,320 Speaker 3: Also also one thing, my name is Sallas. 1353 01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:44,600 Speaker 2: Salas, Salas, apologies, Salas. We wills shoot so much luck 1354 01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,800 Speaker 2: and we know that you're gonna, you know, go into 1355 01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:48,480 Speaker 2: this conversation and have a great conversation. 1356 01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:49,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, you got it. 1357 01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:51,480 Speaker 3: I'll keep you guys updated. 1358 01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:54,760 Speaker 2: Thank you. Yes, and there's some more great comments in 1359 01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:55,400 Speaker 2: the chat as well. 1360 01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:59,080 Speaker 4: Okay, I'll go check all right and keep us updated. 1361 01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,000 Speaker 4: Let us know how it goes. 1362 01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:02,880 Speaker 2: Oh, but I have a great rest of your day 1363 01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:04,920 Speaker 2: and flight wherever you're. 1364 01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:09,080 Speaker 3: Yep, fine, home right. 1365 01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:12,520 Speaker 4: Everyone put hearts in the shot for for Salas Silas, 1366 01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:19,360 Speaker 4: all right, bye, bye bye, all right, and guys, that 1367 01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:21,760 Speaker 4: is the end of that episode. So if you love us, 1368 01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:23,040 Speaker 4: make sure to subscribe. 1369 01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:25,480 Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.