WEBVTT - The Great Pretender 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:04.280 Previously on number one Dad. So I did some investigating 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:06.760 and I was able to find out that he's been 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:11.000 a defendant or plaintiff in twenty three court cases since 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:11.959 nineteen eighty four. 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:13.720 That's just very good. 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:16.640 Do you ask your mom ever about this? No, we 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:20.560 wouldn't talk about it to this day. I have not 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:25.520 talked to my mom about my father in twenty four years. Wow, 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:29.880 So I have something to tell you. It's good news. 0:00:30.200 --> 0:00:36.240 I saw the podcast to iHeartRadio, but there is a catch. 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:47.200 It's about my father. Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped. 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.240 I think you need to understand her hesitation. 0:00:50.400 --> 0:00:53.920 Obviously, because your father hasn't gone after you the past 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:54.720 twenty years. 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:59.040 You know, I don't know what to do. You're gonna 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:05.240 keep going? I mean, obviously there was a ton of 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:08.520 stuff that was bad in our childhood, But do you 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:09.840 have any fond memories? 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.760 I feel like the happiest stuff we had going on 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:17.199 in our childhood was the traveling that we did, although 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:19.240 we probably lied and scam just to get us on 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:19.679 the vacation. 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:23.440 I have two sisters, and that's one of them. Jamie. 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:26.880 I feel the exact same way as her. My best 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:30.760 memories with my family were our vacations together. One of 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:32.920 the few home videos I have is when we went 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.480 to the Grand Canyon. It's wild to hear all of 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:39.560 us in such a happy place. We're getting ready to 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.039 go to the Grand Canyon, horseback riding right. 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:42.640 Down the canyon. 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:44.920 Excuse man the mid. 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:49.160 But we're gonna be leaving in a few minutes as 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.680 soon as we can get to India. Had a bed 0:01:51.880 --> 0:01:58.800 right over there, and it is so what do you 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:01.440 think is the hardest part about having a comment for 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:01.960 a father? 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:06.240 It was a doomino effect of one lie after another 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:09.080 led to our family really just falling apart. 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:12.640 My father's behavior led to my parents getting divorced. Me 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.320 and my sisters Jamie and Danny chose to stick with 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:18.040 our mother. We all decided it would be best to 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.560 completely cut Manny out of our lives, but it came 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:24.160 out of cost. We weren't just ending things with him, 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.480 we were separating from anyone who spoke to him. This 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:31.720 included our grandparents, who we were all very close with. Sadly, 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:34.560 I never had a chance to reconcile with them before 0:02:34.600 --> 0:02:37.680 they passed, and for me, this was the beginning of 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:41.400 my ability just to completely cut people off, which is 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:44.240 what I did to my oldest sister Danny. Years later, 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.919 in twenty fifteen, I learned Danny reconnected with our father. 0:02:49.480 --> 0:02:52.120 I felt betrayed. It was a person I thought we 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:56.320 all agreed to hate, so naturally I immediately stopped talking 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:59.320 to her. I didn't tell her a reason, no conversation. 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:02.880 It was just over and Danny and I haven't spoken since. 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:05.960 But as much as this podcast is aimed at learning 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:09.399 the truth about my cod Man father and possibly reconciling 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:12.640 with him, the first relationship I want to repair is 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:13.280 with Danny. 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:15.520 So what are you gonna do? 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:16.760 Are you gonna reach out to Danny? 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:18.919 I does she still talk to him? 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.639 I mean, I really don't think she does. She told 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.280 me she doesn't, and I really do believe her. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.720 All right, Well, if I if I text her right now, 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:31.880 what would I even say? I don't even know where 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:32.240 to begin. 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:35.280 I think what you need to do is make it 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.000 short and sweet, and I think you need to just 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:40.640 reach out to her and say you want to talk? 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:49.400 All right, I'm gonna write it. How's hi, Danny. I 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:57.640 know it's been a while, but would you be up 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:03.520 to talking? It's your brother Gary by the way, so 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:04.080 it's good. 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:06.000 She might not remember yet that. 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:11.040 Uh what do I put like at like period at 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:12.520 the end? Smiley face? 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:18.320 What do I do the emoji? All right? Like? 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:19.320 Is that good? 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:20.120 I like? 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.400 I know it's been a while, but would you be 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:23.960 up to send it? 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:24.600 Just send it? 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:31.080 Okay? Just send it all right? And sending send Okay, 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:37.720 I did it. Good job, This is number one Dad. 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:46.440 Still nothing from Danny. 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:50.320 It's been like twenty minutes. You've been dodging her for 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:52.520 six years. Just give her a. 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:56.559 Minute, all right. One memory I have with my dad 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:58.800 is how we take on different personas. When he would 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:01.520 talk to people. He was like some con owner's chameleon, 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:04.760 constantly changing who he was to get stuff out of people. 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:07.760 I was relieved to hear Jamie remembering him in the 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:08.720 exact same way. 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:13.360 But didn't matter where we were, he would turn himself 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:17.279 into whatever character he needed to be. We could walk 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:20.800 into a Greek restaurant and all of a sudden, he'd 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:24.359 have a Greek accents. Yeah, you know, you walk into 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:28.040 the Jewish Delhi and he's speaking Yiddish. He could be Russian. 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.200 He's Russian, just. 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:33.440 Like sneaking into MSG what fuel my father was this 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.760 endless drive to know that he could pull one over 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:38.360 on people, and it didn't matter how big or small 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.760 an opportunity was. He had to know he could get 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:44.000 away with it. My father didn't love to lie, he 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:47.119 needed to. I was able to locate a YouTube clip 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:50.400 of him back in twenty thirteen at the Israeli Day Parade. 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:53.840 The prey takes place in New York City along Fifth Avenue. 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:57.800 A lot of high profile politicians and diplomatic officers from 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:00.800 various countries of ten which is a perfect event for 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:04.400 someone like my father to mingle, and sure enough he 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.800 brought his camera to give him access. The audio clip 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:10.560 I'm about to play is him talking to two diplomats 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:13.159 from Greece. It took me back and reminded me of 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:18.040 how good of a bullshitter he is. Yasui. My father 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:22.160 starts speaking Greek to them. He says, hello, in good health. 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:27.039 What do you do for the florist of the vision? 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.400 My father gets right down to business and asks what 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:34.360 they do? Are you elected officials for a certain area? 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:37.800 They respond, the Ambassador to the United Nations and the 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:44.240 Counselor General. The Ambassador to the United nations in the count. 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.839 If you need anything, you have my cod. Very ball 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:49.080 in Washington, Younger. 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.200 My dad tells them, if they need anything, you have 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:56.080 my card. I'm very involved in Washington. They say, thank you. 0:06:56.839 --> 0:07:00.440 This is textbook my dad making himself sound more than 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:04.360 he actually is. Get absolutely no involvement in Washington. Zero. 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:08.240 But once again, just like everybody else, these guys bought it. 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:14.600 I ran my sports illustrated scam with him. That was 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:17.600 our thing. Did you have anything that ever took place 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:18.520 when you were a kid. 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.119 So a couple of experiences. I had been running track 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:24.760 in high school. I was track, but we were running 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:27.840 on the road. Par drove by kids did it. They 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:32.160 slowed down and whacked us with lacrossticks. I did legitimately 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.040 get a pretty bad injury to my arm at the time. 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:40.920 After that, he had me going to neurologists. I'm having MRIs, 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:45.120 I'm having all sorts of scans, and I'm getting stuck 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.840 with like all sorts of needles in my arms and 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:52.920 getting quarters on shots because he wants me to act 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:56.600 like my injury is even worse for a payout. He 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:58.680 was telling me what I should be saying. When the 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:02.520 neurologists asked me questions. Make sure you tell them that 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.560 these are the fingers you can't feel. You could feel 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.560 these two, but you can't feel these three. 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:09.320 Basically, you know, give. 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:12.760 Like the specific symptoms of an injury that's going to 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:15.680 show that I have like some kind of permanent damage 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:18.920 to my arm. Given the opportunity, that guy will sue 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:20.120 anybody totally. 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:23.720 Did you have a specific moment where you're like, I'm 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:24.400 cutting them off? 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:28.160 He offered me one hundred dollars to not come to 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:31.720 my high school graduation. He had a business meeting in Canada, 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.240 which was like really interesting because at the time I 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.040 don't remember him having a business. There was no business. 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:43.600 Like one hundred dollars will substitute a parent's presence at 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:45.400 one of these milestone events. 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:47.959 Yeah, by the way, that one hundred dollars was counterfeit. 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:48.839 It probably was. 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:52.360 Where do you think he lives now? 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:57.119 I believe he lives, possibly in that house in Dix Hills. 0:08:57.200 --> 0:08:58.319 In our childho at home. 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:00.240 I believe ya. 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:05.320 Back in the early eighties, my father owned and operated 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:08.440 a furniture showroom a few blocks from the Empire State 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:12.120 Building called Designer's Gallery, where he sold high end living 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:15.080 room and dining room sets. As a kid, I remember 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:18.319 my dad having my sisters and I act as walking billboards, 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:22.640 wearing bright yellow Designer's Gallery t shirts and sweatshirts wherever 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.400 we went. I was about five years old when the 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:30.000 business abruptly closed. Recently, I discovered it was actually covered 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:34.439 on the news well Long Island. 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:38.800 After dozens of buyers claimed they were cheated. The state 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:42.640 Attorney General's office filed suit yesterday against a Manhattan furniture dealer, 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:46.120 seeking restitution, damages, and an order barring the firm from 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:49.120 operating a furniture business in the state. The lawsuit was 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.600 filed against VET Sales, Inc. And names its president Mandy Veder. 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:56.160 VET Sales does business as Designer's Gallery on West thirty 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:59.720 first Street. A spokeswoman for Attorney General Robert Abrams said 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.400 the office had received more than one hundred complaints against 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:04.920 the firm, including that it took deposits of up to 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:08.440 twenty five hundred dollars, failed to deliver or deliver damaged goods, 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:11.720 refused to return deposits, and failed to pay court judgments 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:12.959 obtained by consumers. 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.760 I reached out to Jkasak, one of my father's old 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:20.040 associates in the furniture business. Jay and my father wore 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:22.360 hand in hand on a lot of business deals, but 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.800 they had a falling out, and I learned it's been 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.920 three years since they last spoke. One of the first 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:31.120 things Jay brought up was my dad's ability to adopt 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:32.400 voices and accents. 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:35.760 He speaks French and you know who knew? 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:39.920 Yeah, I didn't know that he spoke French either, right, I. 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:45.120 Mean, his personality is unbelievable, you know how he does that. 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:48.360 I remember my father being somebody who had to lie. 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:49.800 Was he that way in business? 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.719 Maybe I was naive at the time, right, But he 0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:55.520 knew how to do certain things. He knew how to 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:56.560 manipulate people. 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:00.199 Jay was hesitant to give specifics. I can't say for or, 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:02.920 but just like my mom, I think people who have 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:05.600 been involved with my father are reluctant to talk about 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.720 him because they're afraid of possible repercussions or blowback. 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:12.240 He knew how to get what he wanted. And I 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:15.440 don't mean like salesmanship. He just knew what to say 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.520 and it always came with a friendly smile and all 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:21.920 of that. And that was really impressive. To me because 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:24.079 I didn't know many people that could have done that. 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:29.559 Absolutely. Yeah, there's salesmanship, and then there's my dad who's 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:32.360 he just has a different type of quality about him 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:34.839 that he's able to get things from people. 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.920 And I saw it in action. I was very impressed 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:43.120 meeting people, creating situations, getting them to do what he 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:46.480 wanted them to do, and it all fell into place, 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:49.800 and I learned some of those tricks, actually I really did. 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:53.079 Those were those were great things, you know, things we 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:58.160 were a little exaggerated, like sative things, but it worked. 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:02.959 There was another other guy who knew him, also Eli, 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:07.160 and he was from Brooklyn and he's still in touch 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:10.959 with me. This fella, he was a retailer and he 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.960 became a customer of Manny's as well, but he had 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.120 he had some personal problems with Manny and getting the furniture, 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:20.240 so he exited. But the two of them don't talk anymore. 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:30.520 M all right. 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.319 I just got off the subway and I am on 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.480 my way to therapy. I don't know. Maybe part of 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:42.120 the reason I'm doing this podcast is to show my 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.439 dad that I didn't. 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:45.160 End up blake him. 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:52.520 Because the blueprint was there. That's probably what they're gonna 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:56.720 be talking about today, Hibbabita. How's it going? 0:12:57.080 --> 0:13:00.840 Hi, Darry, I'm all right. Whis been happening since our 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:01.520 last session? 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:02.320 Well? 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:06.280 I tried talking to my mom and she doesn't want 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:09.880 to be on the podcast, but I'm going to still, 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:13.520 you know, push forward and try learning more about my dad. 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:14.240 Yeah. 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.280 I think you're bringing up something that's going to be 0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:20.360 really relevant in your journey, like where are boundaries as 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:24.319 far as how you're figuring this out? Because everybody is 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:27.400 going to have their set of feelings. So I think 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.400 a couple of questions that you could ask yourself, are 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:34.120 there things about my father that are good? Because if 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.959 there aren't, what does that mean about me? And I'm 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.439 wondering if this quest might we say that it's also 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.800 you ensuring Hey, I'm not all bad either. You know, 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:49.720 there's some good stuff about me too, being his son. Yeah, 0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:52.840 what part of you connects to spaces where there are 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:56.880 qualities of your dad? You'd say, oh, that exists. 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:04.079 I don't know, really this is a quality. But back 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.680 when I was a sophomore in college, I started stealing 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:10.920 college exams. I was in this accounting class. I realized 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.480 that my professor and the day of the exam, there 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.200 are two classes, and I was in the later class, 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.800 and he would lay out all the exams in alphabetical order, 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:22.600 and they were in these big lecture halls. So what 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:24.680 I would do is show up to the first class 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:28.240 and just take a random person's tests off their desk, 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.280 and then I go and I'd bring it to somebody 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.440 who I knew was smart, and they would fill out 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.160 all the answers, and then I would even sell that 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:39.040 exam to other students that were in my class. I 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.560 stole the midterm, I stole a final, so I was 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.720 able to get away with this. And part of me 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:47.320 is like, yeah, this is something my father would have done. 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:49.680 I really felt that way, and I didn't like that 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:50.760 feeling whatsoever. 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:55.480 It's significant that you recognize that your behavior was exactly 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:58.120 like your father's. How does that feel. 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.200 It's scary. It's scary to think that there's a part 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:04.880 of him that lives inside of me. Okay, but once 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:06.920 I got out of college, I was like, I can't 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:09.240 do anything like this. I can't be my father. 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.480 What a turning point for you. Your dad laid a 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.920 foundation of getting away with things from the time you 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:19.440 were a little boy, like figuring out how to get 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:22.440 away with it, even if it's like lying or cheating, 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.720 even if things are illegal. As you're starting to uncover things, 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.960 as you're hearing stories, I really think about is it 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:35.440 possible to reconcile? Is it possible that there are pieces 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.400 of my dad that I haven't known? But is it 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.960 possible that maybe I won't But it doesn't matter. I 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.480 just don't want to regret not knowing. 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:45.120 Yeah, you know. 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:48.800 Like part of this also involves me talking to my 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.560 sister Danny and her and I we haven't spoken in years, 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.400 and I cut her off the same way I cut 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:55.960 my dad off. 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.360 Why did you cut off that relationship with your sister? 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:02.200 My reason is because she started speaking to my dad 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:04.560 and as soon as I found that out, I was like, 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:09.920 I can't trust her anymore. But now here I am 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:16.040 trying to learn more about my father and I get 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:18.240 given him another chance, just like she did. 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:20.680 I can see why you would want to speak to her. 0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:23.000 Are you concerned that you won't want to talk to 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:24.280 you after all this time? 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.960 Well, I sent her a text and I haven't heard 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:31.480 back yet, but I'm hopeful that she's going to be 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:33.000 up for talking to me. 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:37.640 Great, you gets ready? 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:38.680 We're going? Where are we going? Now? 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:39.040 Guys? 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:41.040 Where what to stop? 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:41.320 Up? 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:41.560 Where? 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:43.440 Palm springs? 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:43.880 Hi? 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:45.760 James, what do you think? 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:46.040 Damn? 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:48.080 Yes, you guess? 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:49.720 Darry, what do you said now? 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:55.040 Shane Closet. 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:02.880 I just got a text from Danny. She wants to talk, 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:07.200 So I am gonna call her it FaceTime, actually, but 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:11.200 I told her that doing a podcast about our father, 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:16.480 and she's fully on board. So yeah, I'm gonna talk 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:30.920 to my sister. Hey, Hey, I'll go first, just so 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:33.199 we could clear the air a little bit. 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:33.919 Okay. 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.920 So I know, me texting you is like out of 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:41.040 the blue, and I you know, it was a tough 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:43.320 thing to do because you know, part of why I 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:46.880 stopped talking to you altogether was because you you talked 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:50.720 to our father, and you know, I want to I 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:52.920 want to be honest with you, like I felt betrayed, 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:56.639 like I didn't really want to have anything to do 0:17:56.760 --> 0:17:59.760 with him, and I felt that by you talking to 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:02.400 him him, and if I was to continue to talk 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.280 to you, it'd be somehow letting him into my life. 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:07.600 And I feel bad that I've missed things over the 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:09.440 last six years. Been a part of your life and 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.520 your kids' lives, but it was something I felt that 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.320 I needed to do so I wouldn't have him be 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:17.040 a part of anything that I was doing. 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.440 I mean, I'm not going to say that it hasn't hurt, 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:26.080 because I think not speaking to you and not being 0:18:26.160 --> 0:18:29.040 a part of your life and being there for the 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:35.480 birth of your first kid and sharing holidays together, that's 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:38.560 probably been the hardest thing for me, and also just 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:40.840 knowing that there's also been a huge void in my 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.480 kid's lives not having their uncle around. It was never 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:47.119 my intention to hurt you. 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:48.520 I think. 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:55.800 For myself, letting Manny into my life at the point 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:58.480 in time, which I did, was for my own healing. 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:02.320 I think for me, the young or thing that I 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:07.560 really struggle with is I didn't know when we stopped talking. 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:11.280 I didn't know that I had to make a choice. 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.760 I didn't know that I had a choice. I didn't 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.880 know that it was him or you, because I would 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:22.680 have chose you every single time. It was never about 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.280 me sharing information about what was going on in your 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:28.040 lives and betraying you, guys in any way. It was 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:33.520 simply because I felt I needed to get past certain things, 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:36.359 and that was the purpose behind it all. 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:39.640 Now that's out of the way. You don't still talk 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:40.719 to him right now. 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:44.040 It's been quite a few years. It was at least 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:44.840 three years. 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.360 Ago, okay, So I mean, after everything we've been through, 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.440 what was it like talking to our father? 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:56.800 Definitely very guarded. I wanted to see if he would 0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:00.440 show remorse for the things that he knew really tore 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.560 us apart as a family that he did. Did he no, 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.120 you know, to this day, I don't think I've ever 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:08.119 heard him say I'm sorry. 0:20:08.760 --> 0:20:10.560 Did he say what he was doing back then? 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:13.560 One of the things that he would say was that 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:16.760 he was he was taking trips down to Washington, d C. 0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:23.800 Somehow he became a lead photographer or a reporter. He 0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:27.879 had met Obama. But the way he would explain it 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:32.840 was that, you know, he had a tight relationship with him. 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:34.840 It was with Obama. 0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:35.280 Yeah. 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:39.200 Yeah. Then it came to, you know, closer to you know, 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:45.640 the most recent elections where you know, Trump was Trump 0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:49.119 was running and all of a sudden, meeting Trump and 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:52.280 like he met Trump. That's that's what he had said. 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:54.320 That's crazy. He said that he met Obama. He said 0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:56.840 that he met Trump on Facebook. I looked him up 0:20:56.840 --> 0:20:59.560 his profile pictures with Biden. That means he met the 0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:01.280 three sitting presidents. 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:05.600 Yeah, he has somehow put himself in a position where 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:07.960 he has made these connections. 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:11.600 Do you remember when we were kids, how we would 0:21:11.640 --> 0:21:13.880 use different accents when he would be on the phone 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:14.320 with people. 0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:18.399 Yeah, he had a furniture business and people would call 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:21.040 on different lines, and depending on what line it was, 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:23.880 it was this one we don't answer all the time, 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:28.359 this one we do. And then he would answer a 0:21:28.440 --> 0:21:32.639 phone call in most cases, and all of a sudden 0:21:32.720 --> 0:21:35.159 his voice would be disguised. All of a sudden, he 0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:40.840 had this thick Israeli accent, and no he wasn't many 0:21:40.920 --> 0:21:43.560 veter and someone questioned him on the phone, he was, 0:21:44.840 --> 0:21:49.119 you know, Michael Wolfe or some other obscure name, just 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:53.000 to avoid whatever anyone was looking for on the other end. 0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:57.200 Yeah, I remember that as a kid. That phone was 0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:00.360