Speaker 1: Hello everyone. Al Madrigal from the All Things Comedy Network
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Speaker 1: Right, appreciate it. Allthingscomedy dot com, tuobstart dot com.
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Ali than a.
Speaker 4: You wanna way back either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 5: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim. Give us time
Speaker 5: and they turning on engage.
Speaker 4: We want to send you us inside.
Speaker 5: Leanna welcome you back, tell us all about it. We
Speaker 5: scared her? Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 6: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need ride?
Speaker 6: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need.
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride.
Speaker 4: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 7: This is.
Speaker 4: Karen and Chris. Uh, I'm the second one. Karen and
Speaker 4: I are leaving Michae O'Connell's house.
Speaker 7: Mike with him in the car.
Speaker 4: He's in the backseat.
Speaker 2: Mike, Hello, how are you today?
Speaker 4: I'm terrific?
Speaker 2: How are you grand?
Speaker 4: We are going to attend a comedy concert.
Speaker 5: At the Monty, my favorite bar in Los Angeles.
Speaker 4: It's beautiful inside the Monty. It's the best. You don't
Speaker 4: expect it when you first see that front door.
Speaker 7: In that neighborhood, and yeah, ai is the look of
Speaker 7: the inside.
Speaker 5: That's right. It's it's like a treat. It's a secret.
Speaker 5: It's like Narnia.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 5: You walk in those swinging doors and you're like, what's
Speaker 5: this piece of shippool haul gonna look like?
Speaker 4: I expect to go into a cloak room? And then
Speaker 4: an adventure would end, Sue, And it does. If I
Speaker 4: could say it, it would do you know what.
Speaker 5: It was before? It was the bar? It is right now, Mike.
Speaker 7: They said that it was in a bunch of what's
Speaker 7: his name movie? It was like a set. It was
Speaker 7: like it was like a junkie bar that they would
Speaker 7: sometimes use as a junkie bar in Starsky and Oh,
Speaker 7: and they claim that there were like it was a
Speaker 7: bookie bar and there were knees broken in the back
Speaker 7: alley and stuff like that.
Speaker 4: But you never know, You never really know when people
Speaker 4: start talking about broken knees.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and they say that like it's the coolest thing ever,
Speaker 7: and you're like, I think that's not that cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and didn't happen, yeah, right, Yeah. Violence is the
Speaker 4: worst folklore.
Speaker 5: Yes, well, it's not that hard you can break people's knees,
Speaker 5: it's not like.
Speaker 2: For years.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, well, it's nothing to brag about or ride
Speaker 4: home about unless you're threatening your parents.
Speaker 7: That's right, this is true.
Speaker 4: We are doing tonight. What's the full title of your show?
Speaker 4: Drunk Drunken Stories of Glory.
Speaker 7: Drunken Tales of Glory and Shame stand up comedy spectacular.
Speaker 4: And Karen and I are both doing the show. We're
Speaker 4: all doing the show, all making the show.
Speaker 2: It's going to be some show.
Speaker 4: It makes it a special episode that we're all on
Speaker 4: the show.
Speaker 5: That's true.
Speaker 4: It doesn't happen that often.
Speaker 2: And thank you for the ride. Do you take do
Speaker 2: you take people all over the place?
Speaker 4: Yes, I work for uber. When you say wabba, and
Speaker 4: I believe it's a word that you conjured, But does
Speaker 4: it not also make you think of Sammy Hagar?
Speaker 2: What Cabo Wabbo?
Speaker 4: Yeah he has, he has.
Speaker 5: You said that like it was ludicrous because of Cobbo Wabbo.
Speaker 4: For god, I don't think the place, isn't it. It's
Speaker 4: taken over. Your word has taken over Wabbo. Even the place.
Speaker 4: It's Cobobo San Lucas.
Speaker 7: Right, yeah, Waba, I mean soon it will be adapted
Speaker 7: by many.
Speaker 4: The story goes he was sitting on a stool in
Speaker 4: Cabo San Lucas and someone walked in and said, Van
Speaker 4: Hagar sucks. I'm a David Lee Rothman. And he immediately
Speaker 4: fell off the stool and vomited. And that's and then
Speaker 4: an idea was born. That's the way that story goes.
Speaker 5: The guy that didn't like Van Hagar fell off the
Speaker 5: stool or.
Speaker 4: Something, Sammy Hagar himself. He hit his head at a premonition.
Speaker 4: He said, I'm gonna make whiskey. That guy's right, I
Speaker 4: like I like David Lee roth better. Also, that's how
Speaker 4: that's how the story goes intriguing. Uh huh tonight, Mike,
Speaker 4: are you doing a new drunken story?
Speaker 7: I well, actually, like it's just it's stand up or
Speaker 7: drunk tales, like whatever you want to do. So I
Speaker 7: think I'm gonna do some songs, some poetry, and maybe
Speaker 7: tell some drunk jokes tonight. I'm changing up the format.
Speaker 4: Good so I there's no pressure for me to then,
Speaker 4: because I may have spent my drunk stories on the past.
Speaker 2: You can do as you wish.
Speaker 4: Oh, terrific.
Speaker 5: It's really just an excuse for people to get together
Speaker 5: and have a great time.
Speaker 2: I think that you should work for a morning zoo.
Speaker 5: That was like the most insulting thing you could say.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I was in a lovely way.
Speaker 4: We've addressed it in the past. Evan Karen tags certain
Speaker 4: comments when when it's it's you have to take on
Speaker 4: that role being the being, the kiss of estrogen up front,
Speaker 4: the what a kiss of estrogen? That's what I call it, lady,
Speaker 4: just a weely.
Speaker 5: None of those syllables together formed anything I could recognize
Speaker 5: as a phrase, kiss of estrogen. I've never heard or
Speaker 5: imagine that phrase before.
Speaker 4: I don't think that it is one that is common or.
Speaker 5: It's your waba really, I think we've found your waba finally,
Speaker 5: when where's mine? I think by the end of the ride,
Speaker 5: we're all going to have our own waba.
Speaker 7: We'll all have our own.
Speaker 5: What's been going on lately, Mike?
Speaker 7: Now?
Speaker 5: Do you still work at the Monty?
Speaker 7: I no longer work at the Monty. I just do
Speaker 7: the show every third Monday.
Speaker 4: He doesn't need to work at the Monty anymore. Were
Speaker 4: you in Transparent?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: Why does somebody else ask me?
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't know why. In a picture with Jeffrey Tambour.
Speaker 2: That would be I would be telling you all about that.
Speaker 5: That would be a practy.
Speaker 4: Well. I combine your photo with mister Tambour with the
Speaker 4: fact that I know that in real life your genitals
Speaker 4: are a mess.
Speaker 2: That you just can't tell which ones they are.
Speaker 5: They're just pixelated. It's not they're fine once.
Speaker 4: You all meat grinders should come with directions.
Speaker 7: Nonetheless, I feel that someday I'll find someone who will
Speaker 7: tolerate them.
Speaker 5: Someday that's your next romantic song. Yeah, tolerate my genital
Speaker 5: for six to nine months.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's you.
Speaker 7: That's that's how how long it usually last.
Speaker 4: Karon is a professional singer as are you.
Speaker 2: But she just professionally sang and make them up. I
Speaker 2: know that was really awesome.
Speaker 5: And I like to spring among people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I like it when they're sprung. I like it
Speaker 4: when you do that.
Speaker 2: That's why you are a match made in heavy.
Speaker 5: Mike and I were actually gonna we we probably still will.
Speaker 5: We were gonna work on music together.
Speaker 2: Oh we must.
Speaker 5: But I think we're both exactly alike where we were
Speaker 5: both like the other person will get it together and
Speaker 5: I'll just show up and we're both so that way
Speaker 5: that it never happened.
Speaker 4: And I show up while you guys are recording because
Speaker 4: I have a song idea that I want to do
Speaker 4: it with both of you. Because I can sing reggae
Speaker 4: pretty good. I want to do a reggae song about
Speaker 4: white people with corn rows, okay or dreadlocks.
Speaker 7: That sounds like a very viable comedy song.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Are you sure that weird All hasn't done?
Speaker 7: Oh? Have you done your research? That's the most important
Speaker 7: thing about comedy songwriting.
Speaker 5: It's all research.
Speaker 7: Basically, it's rhyming and research.
Speaker 2: The two ares.
Speaker 4: I forgot that he did do that to the sound
Speaker 4: of I get knocked down by Chumbawamba. What was it
Speaker 4: this corn rough song? It's just I wish.
Speaker 2: But now he's trying to create some perfect world where
Speaker 2: where everything's been covered, where his whims occur.
Speaker 4: See. I've found that with the show format, Mike. I,
Speaker 4: because I, in reality do drink, possibly to access or
Speaker 4: have in the past, a lot of the stories just
Speaker 4: don't come to me because I've forgotten them because of
Speaker 4: the alcohol.
Speaker 7: Beast. Do you have many stories that other friends, like
Speaker 7: from Montana or something? Just tell you back?
Speaker 4: Can remind me of you do some texting? Yeah, maybe
Speaker 4: I should. Can you guys remind me of my worst moment?
Speaker 4: I'm sure so. Yeah.
Speaker 7: It's a fine line between a dark story and a
Speaker 7: funny dark story.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that last time. My instinct was to
Speaker 4: do a montage of moments, so I like, there's five
Speaker 4: of them by mentioning them, but I could elaborate on
Speaker 4: any of them, like the stolen.
Speaker 2: I really enjoyed your montash.
Speaker 4: Oh, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: That was a good one.
Speaker 4: Karen, Will you be doing a drunken story? Yeah?
Speaker 5: I to be totally honest, I haven't thought about this
Speaker 5: part of it at all. Today. I knew we were
Speaker 5: going to be podcasting and picking up Mike, if you
Speaker 5: want to playing your guitar. I love that guitar is
Speaker 5: a gentle is a gentle lady.
Speaker 4: I'm not the kids.
Speaker 7: Have you ever had to borrow a guitar from somebody
Speaker 7: who's obviously not excited about it? Yes, I love that
Speaker 7: somebody's very like nobody can.
Speaker 2: Play my guitar.
Speaker 5: And also I'm kind of intermediate lower intermediate, so I
Speaker 5: kind of play it pretty hard as I don't really know.
Speaker 4: I sorry, Sure, I'll take that, Perry, I thank you
Speaker 4: for providing it.
Speaker 5: Mike drinks for us.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that never has happened. In the beginning, when we
Speaker 4: were all excited, we provided drinks for the guests, glad.
Speaker 2: To be here. When the passion is worn.
Speaker 4: Off, that is the audio of a classic spit take,
Speaker 4: right if anyone loves, If anyone needs any genuine fully work,
Speaker 4: that was a spit take, landing exactly on the Zoom six. Well,
Speaker 4: that's okay, takes a licking. Oh that was funny. I
Speaker 4: hope more moments like that happened and make up for
Speaker 4: my fake story about weird now.
Speaker 7: And then your accusation that I stole something from Sammy Hagar.
Speaker 2: Open with an accusation.
Speaker 4: I'm simply asked in a non passive aggressive way, if
Speaker 4: Waba reminded you of Wabbo.
Speaker 2: I did it.
Speaker 7: There's so many things with Wabbo. It's like Wabba grill
Speaker 7: is now a thing. Oh yeah, you know, it's like
Speaker 7: I don't. It's not like something that I've copywritten.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 2: I've possibly stolen.
Speaker 4: It from some Can you copyright a tauretzi like outburst?
Speaker 2: I've copy written Wabbacore, which is my corporation.
Speaker 5: That's good.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, wabacre.
Speaker 2: Like really is getting it done these days now?
Speaker 5: Really? How many please do you have?
Speaker 7: Well, I'm the only employee. I have seven. I have
Speaker 7: nine cabbage batch kids.
Speaker 4: Working right, He's not kidding, and they all reside in
Speaker 4: a large chair together.
Speaker 5: I was at their birthday.
Speaker 4: There's a beautiful photo of that.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, we are all. It was like, it looks
Speaker 2: that's my favorite picture.
Speaker 4: It's the best picture. It's beautiful. But I can't. I
Speaker 4: was in the left turn line. It's okay, I can
Speaker 4: just do some other stuff.
Speaker 7: Okay, sorry, I don't think Melrose actually goes all the way.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm just remembering.
Speaker 7: Yes, yes, Now we're on a podcast. What I'm telling you,
Speaker 7: I don't know. Should I put it in the machine?
Speaker 4: Absolutely. There's always a segment on the podcast called backstaed driver,
Speaker 4: and it shouldn't happen because I'm a horrible front seat
Speaker 4: driver and I need all the help I can get,
Speaker 4: and anytime Karen offers it, I am appreciative. I hope
Speaker 4: it didn't see him otherwise.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I didn't realize you were in a lane.
Speaker 5: And you're right that I was heading us right into
Speaker 5: that weird dead end area.
Speaker 4: Yeah, by the Virgil. Yeah, I've had a bad taste
Speaker 4: in my mouth ever since I've yelled at those people
Speaker 4: in line there.
Speaker 5: Oh that's right.
Speaker 4: During the you got beef over at the Virgil.
Speaker 5: Chris heckled a line full of people for a show
Speaker 5: I don't like.
Speaker 4: When there's a comedian I've never heard of that's gross,
Speaker 4: way more popular than me. He's young and handsome and
Speaker 4: been doing it six years.
Speaker 2: That is upsetting.
Speaker 4: It is upsetting, isn't it.
Speaker 5: I think it's good to express those feelings, don't keep
Speaker 5: them pent up.
Speaker 4: But Mike, you have been up. Please tell me for
Speaker 4: reals what you've been up to lately, because I go, oh,
Speaker 4: I have it in my head that you're just doing terrifically.
Speaker 4: I don't know, and my head never lies.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, I was trying to figure this out, this
Speaker 7: this route out. Sorry, Okay, now I feel like a
Speaker 7: total asshole.
Speaker 5: No, no, oh, because you're looking at your phone. The
Speaker 5: last time, Mike, I saw you. The last time I
Speaker 5: saw you, I can hold it was on the WB
Speaker 5: lot when you were doing Sullivan and some Oh.
Speaker 7: Yes, I had a television program.
Speaker 5: You wearing a nice suit.
Speaker 2: Yes I know they let me be. Uh.
Speaker 7: A man who came out of the closet.
Speaker 2: On the show was refreshing.
Speaker 5: Do you still remember your lines?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 2: My mother died and well I was like, all, my
Speaker 2: mother's in the hospital.
Speaker 7: He's like, that's too bad, that's not good luck. And
Speaker 7: then I was like and then I get a call
Speaker 7: and she died and I say like, oh my god,
Speaker 7: she's dead.
Speaker 2: I can finally come out. I'm free and free.
Speaker 4: Is that how you read it?
Speaker 2: Of course I love it. And then I think, take
Speaker 2: a right onto Virgil.
Speaker 5: Oh oh yeah, he hates Virgil.
Speaker 4: Okay, I will do it.
Speaker 7: Oh but I thought you hated the Virgil, which is
Speaker 7: an establishment the whole street.
Speaker 2: That's crazy.
Speaker 4: I drove by it anyway. There you are, you motherfucker.
Speaker 4: That's what I call that building.
Speaker 5: It looks closed.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, Karen. We've made an effort not to drop
Speaker 4: the f bomb, and there I went.
Speaker 5: I know, I just I swear like a cross country
Speaker 5: trucker and it's sad.
Speaker 4: That's why we have a jar up here filled with pennies.
Speaker 4: Every time she curses, you hear a jingle, and that's
Speaker 4: when an angel gets insulted.
Speaker 5: Soon we'll have enough to go to Cabo Wabo.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and like validate your story, prove it.
Speaker 5: Yes, I also saw you by the fountain.
Speaker 7: Oh, I love that fountain. I like to walk around
Speaker 7: Hollywood quite a bit. That's why getting this ride has been.
Speaker 7: It's just majestic because you're a big walker.
Speaker 4: Big walker, not a big driver.
Speaker 2: Not a big driver.
Speaker 4: Why don't you drive?
Speaker 2: I have a car right now. I drive it about,
Speaker 2: but I don't like driving it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's horrible.
Speaker 7: You get to see a lot more when you're walking,
Speaker 7: and everybody's so grumpy in the car. So true. When
Speaker 7: I first got the car and I had to sit
Speaker 7: in traffic. For the first time, I was like, wow,
Speaker 7: you can feel the and demon energy floating above the
Speaker 7: highways coming.
Speaker 2: This is really how everybody deals with the day. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's really amazing.
Speaker 4: It is when I am at my worst and you've
Speaker 4: seen me filled with ridge.
Speaker 5: Every time I come over Burrom because it's the only
Speaker 5: way to get from my house to Hollywood. If you
Speaker 5: leave any time after four point thirty, it's bumper to
Speaker 5: bumper traffic, and it takes twenty five minutes to get
Speaker 5: over what normally takes four minutes a hill to get
Speaker 5: It's just infuriating by the time, and I'm mad at
Speaker 5: myself because I never add the additional time, right, I
Speaker 5: never do the correct traffic math, even though I've lived
Speaker 5: there for ten years.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you just can you time it by as the
Speaker 4: crow flies?
Speaker 5: As I want it to be?
Speaker 7: Yeah, I know as I want it to be is
Speaker 7: the best way to because like a whole city where
Speaker 7: the people are just expecting it to be okay, Yeah,
Speaker 7: and like that causes this great philosophical problem and traffic problem.
Speaker 5: Yes, because they're like, I'm an executive at Paramount. I
Speaker 5: should get there when I want to. Why should I
Speaker 5: have to wait behind this peasant.
Speaker 4: Exactly, and then that makes people drive crazy and they're
Speaker 4: usually in a BMW. Yeah, the people you're talking about,
Speaker 4: you know who you are out there. All you executives
Speaker 4: constantly listen to the podcast. By the way, thank you
Speaker 4: for this.
Speaker 5: I'd love to talk to you about some ideas about traffic.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, we're pitching a show about executives and we'd
Speaker 4: like to pitch it to you.
Speaker 7: And we're fine with you being grumpy in your cars
Speaker 7: and we totally get it.
Speaker 5: It's basically about how what assholes executives are. You'll love it.
Speaker 4: Try not to get insulted. But I think you'll like
Speaker 4: the story arch or arc.
Speaker 2: The story arch.
Speaker 5: It's a fallen arch of a story.
Speaker 4: Oh, we just cursed Saint Louis.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 7: The other thing, that one thing I was doing, I
Speaker 7: got a song that I wrote is going to be
Speaker 7: in a movie with David Hasselhoff.
Speaker 4: That that's amazing.
Speaker 7: What So I wrote this song because I was helping
Speaker 7: out on this movie. I was an associate producer on
Speaker 7: this movie. My friend Ken Jong's in with David Hasselhoff
Speaker 7: and like Hulk Hogan and stuff.
Speaker 4: Oh that sounds.
Speaker 7: They are trying to kind of come up with the
Speaker 7: last song that they could do, and look, you know
Speaker 7: a song I could do in the movie. And I
Speaker 7: wrote some song and they were like, okay. I gave
Speaker 7: it to David hassel Off and he was like, Mike,
Speaker 7: I don't want to like it.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to like it, but I do. I
Speaker 2: was like, all right, So we recorded.
Speaker 5: It and can you give us a teaser.
Speaker 7: It's about like rule in the world. It's kind of
Speaker 7: like a really positive it's almost like a Katie Perry
Speaker 7: song or something.
Speaker 4: For David hassel Off, that's amazing.
Speaker 7: So that was like, and he's one of my big
Speaker 7: childhood heroes. So because of night Rider, it was a
Speaker 7: big deal to me and my brother and so and
Speaker 7: so should I turn I think you can keep going.
Speaker 7: The machine says you can continue.
Speaker 4: Oh, listen to the machine. Do not rage against it.
Speaker 4: When I'm around Mike, I accidentally talk like him.
Speaker 5: I think that's the idea.
Speaker 4: I'm really sorry. No, Mike, I'm sorry that I always
Speaker 4: do that. No, You're an influence on me. That's good,
Speaker 4: right or bad, especially in the moment. Well, according to
Speaker 4: David Hasselhoff, it's bad, but he likes it. Anyway say that.
Speaker 7: Oh no, no, I think he just it was just
Speaker 7: like he was.
Speaker 5: He doesn't understand comedy.
Speaker 2: He didn't, he didn't expect to enjoy it, but he did.
Speaker 5: And that's great, My guy, get confused. Are supposed to
Speaker 5: be satirical? Yeah, but you know what I like it?
Speaker 4: Oh, clearly a man who's done the videos, he's done
Speaker 4: and everything like.
Speaker 7: I don't think he's embrace Oh he absolutely embraces the whole.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Time, how about here? Left?
Speaker 7: It says left on Wilshire, but let's do it. Oh
Speaker 7: is seventh? Why would you take a left on it?
Speaker 4: Well, probably because of some one way situation. Once you
Speaker 4: get downtown, boy, do I sweat like I'm at La X.
Speaker 4: So it's gonna work out perfect.
Speaker 5: To the airport, but it's not all the way downtown
Speaker 5: where it's like right before. So we don't have to
Speaker 5: get to the crazy part.
Speaker 4: No, just the scary part. Yes, we'll push past that, I'm.
Speaker 2: And we'll get in the bar park, which is very safe.
Speaker 5: That's the rad part.
Speaker 2: That's the rad part.
Speaker 4: I think I wish that you had your guitar strapped
Speaker 4: to your shoulder right now because I want to hear
Speaker 4: your pop song. Maybe you can't deliver it until it's
Speaker 4: been Yeah, I got to wait on that.
Speaker 5: I think, well, then sing something else.
Speaker 4: Tell me yeah that we just became the guy on
Speaker 4: the airplane that says, oh, you don't seem funny?
Speaker 3: May Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you want to hear the song I wrote for
Speaker 2: my upstair and his neighbor.
Speaker 7: Yes, take off your hall boots, take off your hall boots,
Speaker 7: take off your whole boots.
Speaker 5: No, that's all a big pomper.
Speaker 7: She's a clumpsy lady.
Speaker 5: It's so funny because those shoes are very trendy right now,
Speaker 5: and I would say only thirty percent of the women
Speaker 5: that wear those shoes know how to walk in them. Yes,
Speaker 5: so it's just all you hear.
Speaker 7: I am not the rude to call them that, but
Speaker 7: it was. It's just like, at a certain point, I'm like,
Speaker 7: are you just doing laps up there?
Speaker 5: I like to call them Judy loud shoes, that's my
Speaker 5: nickname for them.
Speaker 7: It's almost like you're in some sort of psychological experiment
Speaker 7: where they ring a bell on one side of the
Speaker 7: apartment and then like cheese is produced at the other
Speaker 7: side of the apartment, and they're going back and full
Speaker 7: cl clump clamp.
Speaker 5: Also, why can't they take them off if they're in
Speaker 5: their own or they feel.
Speaker 2: So good, or they gives them power.
Speaker 7: I feel like those, don't You feel like the gate
Speaker 7: of people improves with these. It's like men and men
Speaker 7: in cowboy boots, you know, it's just their gate changes.
Speaker 7: And you're like, I'm a little more coxtuals.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but those things are well, at least to me anyway,
Speaker 5: are truly like torture. I don't understand being in your
Speaker 5: apartment and wearing Yeah, that's I mean, if you need
Speaker 5: that much confidence, go to therapy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've really bought into the whole.
Speaker 5: Thing big time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, aren'gue? I buy into the commercial where you kick
Speaker 4: them off and put on a pair of chick jeans
Speaker 4: and lay.
Speaker 5: Back and take a cowg You buy into nineteen seventy eight.
Speaker 7: She has an image to maintain, though, even in her apartment.
Speaker 4: Image and it's just the auditory experience of a Clyde
Speaker 4: Stale horse.
Speaker 2: And then I think you have to take I'm so.
Speaker 4: Sorry, it's okay, what do I take?
Speaker 2: You take a left on Union Avenue?
Speaker 7: Oh, okay, we have a little time or no, wait
Speaker 7: is it right, I think it might be right, okay,
Speaker 7: because the right will go to seventh.
Speaker 4: Right, Yes, let us stick to right.
Speaker 5: Is this macar the parks smells?
Speaker 7: And that's the best song ever?
Speaker 4: That the best song.
Speaker 2: It's so beautiful.
Speaker 5: I just thought Donna Summer's Greatest Hits and that I
Speaker 5: can't stop listening to that song.
Speaker 7: It's written, it's really long as many parts and it's
Speaker 7: just like so beautiful and you don't know if it's
Speaker 7: about love or what.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's about whatever you bring to it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because a lot happens in that park sometimes.
Speaker 7: And not one mention of the junkies, this whole seven
Speaker 7: minutes song with like five different parts, and not one
Speaker 7: mention of the drug abules, and.
Speaker 4: Not one mention of that trembling bush that says unspeakable requests.
Speaker 5: Leave me.
Speaker 2: I think I get in the right lane, all right?
Speaker 2: And then uh up on the right it says Union.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Are you using Ways?
Speaker 2: No? I was just using them?
Speaker 7: Google?
Speaker 5: Yes, Google it.
Speaker 4: Do you need a ride sponsored by Ways? And Google?
Speaker 5: Whatever gets you there? It's none of our business, Ways
Speaker 5: and Google?
Speaker 4: Or is it our business? That depends on whether or
Speaker 4: not they answer our letters?
Speaker 5: Did you see the chillmeister. But he took he took
Speaker 5: all of his time crossing the street. Yeah, us the
Speaker 5: chillist brow of.
Speaker 2: The Judy Cloppers and a chill bro or they should
Speaker 2: get married.
Speaker 5: You just wander around in circles.
Speaker 7: I walk, I slowly walk the streets as my lover
Speaker 7: was slowly walks above Mike.
Speaker 4: She walks like she's in the streets, whereas I walk
Speaker 4: like I'm in her apartment because she kicked me out
Speaker 4: and I long for her.
Speaker 7: Now there's a deep backstory to the duo. Oh and
Speaker 7: then was seventh.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, well you.
Speaker 7: Just go yeah, it's okay, not go on, chargret.
Speaker 5: Now we are This is a gorgeous part of is
Speaker 5: this Korea Town? Would you say?
Speaker 7: I think this is?
Speaker 5: Is it? MacArthur Park?
Speaker 2: Arthur Park.
Speaker 4: I am a fan of that white building that I've
Speaker 4: never seen bricks be so shiny, And she'll act.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that looks nice, it's beautiful. That could be some kind.
Speaker 4: Of you would never know someone was currently being murdered.
Speaker 5: That's the old murder building.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Oh, that's where they won one a week at least
Speaker 7: guarantee Mondays.
Speaker 2: And they want to start the week off right with
Speaker 2: the fresh with a freshet.
Speaker 5: Down the basement. It does look like they just painted it.
Speaker 7: I know that hotel is around here where they found
Speaker 7: the woman in like the water, so every building like that.
Speaker 7: I look at him like probably a body in the
Speaker 7: don't drink the water.
Speaker 4: Can you remind me of that story?
Speaker 5: It's very upsetting. It's a yeah. I think she was
Speaker 5: was she an exchange student or she was Asian, and
Speaker 5: I think she was here either visiting or like as
Speaker 5: a student, but she was staying in this really shitty
Speaker 5: what is it? It's the hotel I forget the name.
Speaker 7: Yeah, maybe we shouldn't say, but it's all yeah, it's
Speaker 7: just like one of those hotels that there's one right
Speaker 7: down here that just kind of sells it like it's
Speaker 7: a Hollywood in Hollywood, and it's like not in Hollywood,
Speaker 7: even though Hollywood is interesting, it's not.
Speaker 5: In Hollywood and people kind of live there. It's almost
Speaker 5: like a transient hotel. So she was there. The last
Speaker 5: video they have of hers in the elevator pressing the buttons,
Speaker 5: all panicky, wandering, uh huh, and then she ended up
Speaker 5: dead in the cistern on the roof, which is where
Speaker 5: they hold all the water that everybody uses that it stays.
Speaker 4: In the hotel.
Speaker 5: People were kind of drinking her drinking and showering and
Speaker 5: all the things you would not want to do with.
Speaker 4: Why up in there though? Was there foul play or drugs?
Speaker 5: I believe it was you could right there, okay or
Speaker 5: your soonest left? Was it foul play? I mean think
Speaker 5: it really was.
Speaker 7: I think there was something super suspicious going on. But
Speaker 7: the fact that she wasn't found for I think it
Speaker 7: took a while to figure that out because.
Speaker 4: It was even in a drug state. Wouldn't you know,
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I'm climbing into a cistern.
Speaker 5: No, she didn't climb in there. That's where they put
Speaker 5: the body.
Speaker 7: I believe she.
Speaker 4: Was murdered for sure.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's really dark, different.
Speaker 4: Levels, Okay, now I know that. I thought, Well, then
Speaker 4: of course there was foul Yeah.
Speaker 5: Nuts, I mean, because you can't really wander into a
Speaker 5: cistern or get up into it. I don't think.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry that I made it even talk about it,
Speaker 4: but it is Halloween, and also I could talk about that.
Speaker 7: I know you like she watched the dayline on it.
Speaker 5: Oh, yes, I've watched them all forty eight hours on
Speaker 5: ID forty eight hours regular.
Speaker 7: It is, it is.
Speaker 5: We're right here.
Speaker 7: Oh my lord, we're so good at this.
Speaker 4: Are you feeling Mike an urgency to get in there?
Speaker 4: You can totally say yes.
Speaker 7: Oh, I mean I no, I don't have to, oh shadows,
Speaker 7: it's okay, lady, okay, lady lady. Please, we will have arrived.
Speaker 2: But whatever you want to do.
Speaker 5: Well, where are we at there, Karen with the time, Oh,
Speaker 5: let me tell you we're twenty seven minutes.
Speaker 4: Oh, well, perhaps we can what if we recorded some
Speaker 4: of the show. Well, is that a hair brained idea
Speaker 4: or what?
Speaker 7: I don't think so, No, I love that.
Speaker 4: Let's do that and then we'll all be at ease.
Speaker 4: We can hear.
Speaker 2: Oh, and that's you can park. Oh there should be
Speaker 2: parking on this dream.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 4: It's so hard for me to do things and also
Speaker 4: drive and also talk.
Speaker 7: And I think that's why you're the perfect guy for
Speaker 7: this podcast with me.
Speaker 4: But I will bring us back to where we need
Speaker 4: to be in a moment. I just wanted to prolong
Speaker 4: our time together.
Speaker 2: No, it was, it's been it's been joyous so far.
Speaker 4: Oh, this is always This is one of those blind benders.
Speaker 7: A lot of those since that guy, since I had
Speaker 7: since I've been driving for the first time in a
Speaker 7: very long time, I've had my car toad and someone
Speaker 7: knock off license plates and you're like, this is why
Speaker 7: everyone's so stressed out every day.
Speaker 2: If a bad car thing happens, it fucks you up
Speaker 2: so bad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that is how a lot of people
Speaker 4: move here with these hopes and dreams, and then something
Speaker 4: that has to do with the vehicle happens to them
Speaker 4: and they go back to At.
Speaker 7: Any moment, you could be like, there's most likely at
Speaker 7: least twenty seven people crying about their cars.
Speaker 5: And crying inside their car, and.
Speaker 7: Crying inside their cars because it won't start or just
Speaker 7: for whatever reason.
Speaker 5: There's just was this the spot right here?
Speaker 4: Perhaps an look at that.
Speaker 2: So many bad things can come of the car shadow.
Speaker 4: Can we just acknowledge how sweet of it? In my
Speaker 4: time visiting you at the Monte we're doing your concerts there,
Speaker 4: I've never parked this.
Speaker 2: Close my comedy concerts.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have a lot of concerts there and I've
Speaker 4: never parked right in front. This feels terrific and I
Speaker 4: think it's a good omen for the night.
Speaker 7: And the show is going to be the Cat's pja
Speaker 7: big time.
Speaker 4: The cat will slumber welt comefully. So should we just
Speaker 4: go in and yeah, experience can you this is portable?
Speaker 4: We have some time to come in. From this point
Speaker 4: we begin.
Speaker 5: Should we all say one goal that we hope we
Speaker 5: reached during this show?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I think that's a good way. It's a good
Speaker 4: way to close things out.
Speaker 7: We just.
Speaker 4: It's just we're dead. I don't know why.
Speaker 5: Hello, can you hear me?
Speaker 4: Nope? Nope, everything went down. Oh oh you know what,
Speaker 4: the head my headphone. So the what you just experienced
Speaker 4: for me was panic. I also put in another spit
Speaker 4: take in there. I don't know if you heard that, But.
Speaker 5: Here we go from the panic.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I often vomit when I'm nervous. I know
Speaker 4: it sounded silent, but sitting here is not silent at all.
Speaker 4: What so can you repose your question?
Speaker 5: Yes, I'll say we should all say a thing that
Speaker 5: we hope a goal that we hope to achieve in
Speaker 5: doing the show tonight. Okay, so I'll give my example one.
Speaker 5: I'll give one. I'll go first as the example. Okay,
Speaker 5: since I don't have anything planned, I hope to not
Speaker 5: shut down on stage based on reaction and instead think
Speaker 5: of a good story and just enjoy the telling of it.
Speaker 4: I think that's I. I almost want to say dido,
Speaker 4: but yeah, but no, beautifully put. It was beautifully put.
Speaker 4: I think I'm excited if I could speak for you
Speaker 4: to see you fly by the seat of your pants.
Speaker 4: I rely on it too much, So tonight I'm going
Speaker 4: to do something scripted, oh, which I have not yet written.
Speaker 4: So I've really made a bed for myself.
Speaker 5: A scripted thing that you have seven minutes to write.
Speaker 4: I actually haven't. Can I change mine? I do want
Speaker 4: to go back to it being just like yours. I
Speaker 4: hope that I do a few jokes to spice things
Speaker 4: up and then follow it up with a with a
Speaker 4: drunken story about a car I stole once.
Speaker 5: Mike sounds lovely, Yeah, Mike, yours your goal would be
Speaker 5: the most important thing is.
Speaker 2: To run a tight ship.
Speaker 7: Oh shit, and just really you know, be uh to
Speaker 7: somebody that the other performers can look up to.
Speaker 2: Its first punctuality is concerned. I also long for the gafas.
Speaker 7: To thunder through the bar for each performer as if
Speaker 7: they were the bulls of Pamplona, and for all that
Speaker 7: come in the math perform. I wish upon them at
Speaker 7: the time of their.
Speaker 2: Lives because they're the audience.
Speaker 7: Right.
Speaker 5: That went from a Native American.
Speaker 4: Like I love all the people that was.
Speaker 5: It was a rainbow, the rainbow of Americans, all of us.
Speaker 4: I want to talk to Mike Moore.
Speaker 2: And right there in the bar too.
Speaker 4: Okay, terrific, Okay, good, well, let's go in and have
Speaker 4: a comedy concert.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: For many years arrived the existential found is only accessible.
Speaker 6: I admittedly have never been a fan of the holiday.
Speaker 3: As it causes me great concern when those who lack
Speaker 3: personalities during the rest of the year decide to show
Speaker 3: the sexy, scandalist, oscillacious side of themselves.
Speaker 6: Why would you reserve and then.
Speaker 3: Relegate your fun and all wild nature traverse forth on
Speaker 3: only one day of the year. Has always been a
Speaker 3: mystery more intriguing to me than that even of the
Speaker 3: Yetti or the monster of luck NaNs.
Speaker 6: As far as I am concerned, if you.
Speaker 3: Are only having fun and out love, if you are
Speaker 3: only fun and outgoing one time a year, then you
Speaker 3: have fallen prey to the greatest of societal I dear pressures,
Speaker 3: the pressure to live a moderate and mildlife.
Speaker 8: That being said, I do appreciate how.
Speaker 3: This one's vagan ceremony has been commandeered and turned into
Speaker 3: a holiday on which one gets brazenly drugged in the
Speaker 3: name of demons.
Speaker 8: Not wanting to be the drama with me dicatifon, not
Speaker 8: wanting to be the garambis without a costume, I pulled
Speaker 8: out my unitarts from the closet, trying each of them
Speaker 8: on and deciding that I would.
Speaker 3: Be terribly fool hardy were I not to employ a
Speaker 3: silver little the Lure number that I recently purchased at
Speaker 3: a thrift store.
Speaker 6: It made me look stupid, it made me look fat.
Speaker 3: But not content with just looking stupid and fat, I
Speaker 3: downed them all away in My costume was complete, and
Speaker 3: so I said at the back of my unitar and
Speaker 3: I gave myself a high five and the beer and said,
Speaker 3: this is probably going to be the dumbest Halloween ever
Speaker 3: and down laughs.
Speaker 6: Oh so down a.
Speaker 3: Wave some friends and izing karaoke in the long gone place,
Speaker 3: and Cente Monica called the Bit of Redhead.
Speaker 6: There were about ten people.
Speaker 3: And quickly everyone became quite oppressed that they had gone
Speaker 3: through the trouble to even dress up for such a
Speaker 3: lackluster affair. We had many shots through down the boardroom,
Speaker 3: not even got back at a moon. Not even my
Speaker 3: rousing version of Tom Jones Delightla could grace the poor
Speaker 3: along experience of my compatriots. I felt the demons, somehow
Speaker 3: displeased with our sacrifice, were conspiring to ruin a knight
Speaker 3: that should have possessed so much levity, so much joy
Speaker 3: at all. Always point that being when a local drum
Speaker 3: singer got wrenching spree laven version of John Lennon's mother
Speaker 3: that would have haunted mister Lennon himself. An event occurred
Speaker 3: that would change such a directory of our evening, made
Speaker 3: the judatijectory of our lives.
Speaker 7: I thought.
Speaker 3: It was then that three women of profoundly obese kurth
Speaker 3: entered the.
Speaker 6: Establishedy just as a devon a noon and what looked
Speaker 6: to be a lumjack.
Speaker 3: They came straight from my friend Nathan Patrick and myself.
Speaker 5: What do we have here?
Speaker 3: I said, it seems to be a devon and Anon,
Speaker 3: and judging.
Speaker 6: From your flan only you are either a male Tom or.
Speaker 3: A Lumberjack, to which the lumberjack looking lady replied, I'm
Speaker 3: not wearing a costall home. Well, I said, honest mistake
Speaker 3: for reasons.
Speaker 6: It's still misted by me.
Speaker 3: My insult must have been deserved or miss understood. For
Speaker 3: the next thing I know, she grabbed me by hate
Speaker 3: the unitard and said to me drunkenly.
Speaker 6: Oh you you're coming.
Speaker 3: With me, and me, lacking self control and free will, said,
Speaker 3: of course, darling, of course I'm coming with you. We
Speaker 3: all jumped into the Lumberjack's truck. Nathan quickly began to
Speaker 3: make out with the nun and in the back seat as
Speaker 3: Patrick John easily John demon and I was and I
Speaker 3: was in the front seat with the Lumberjack, drunkenly embracing
Speaker 3: an awkward silence that was nearly as large as a
Speaker 3: rubinous pray. We arrived at their friend's party and continue
Speaker 3: to drink as irresponsibly as we could for some time.
Speaker 6: Everything was going quite swimmingly until around two thirty in
Speaker 6: the morning, when.
Speaker 3: It began circulating the around the party that our friend Nathan,
Speaker 3: in a frenzy makeout session, had bitten the nun in
Speaker 3: a manner she found unpleasurable. Patrick and I tried to
Speaker 3: assure the demon and the.
Speaker 7: Love of Jack that we were not at all like God.
Speaker 3: Like that, as Patrick had not been anyone in the years,
Speaker 3: and I myself not in over two and a half months,
Speaker 3: a new record for me, they required no reassurance, and
Speaker 3: we soon realized that these girls would have fucked us
Speaker 3: if we were a pull, pop and stuff.
Speaker 6: The lover Jack and the Demon became sufficiently drawn to
Speaker 6: take us back to their place. When we arrived at
Speaker 6: her about and she turned on a right leg in her.
Speaker 3: Bedroom that revealed to me the greatest boundary of the evening,
Speaker 3: that sufficient light throughout the night I had been dealing
Speaker 3: our combum, unable.
Speaker 6: To discern their ethnicity. At times she looked at but
Speaker 6: at others she loved Korean, and.
Speaker 3: Even others mildly Chinese, and still others possibly prove it.
Speaker 6: I drunkenly convinced.
Speaker 3: Myself that I need not know her ethnicity, as it
Speaker 3: was possible that she was all woman at once, and
Speaker 3: to make love to her was to make love to
Speaker 3: all femininity.
Speaker 6: The best and the worst thing.
Speaker 3: About beverages of the booze written kind is that they
Speaker 3: will allow me to justify.
Speaker 2: N behavior, no matter how.
Speaker 3: Logical or reprehensible. She took out a small box. It
Speaker 3: off and be cocaine. Don't give me no cocaine, I
Speaker 3: said I. She'd go to me and tell O RELENTI
Speaker 3: now Jans, don't not stress her struck eye and as
Speaker 3: face as a hobo, she began to.
Speaker 6: Make out with me and I started off. She initially
Speaker 6: then announced to myself, in my mind, fuck it. If
Speaker 6: you're in this tap, you might as well do it right.
Speaker 6: I began to her eternity and turned up the past.
Speaker 6: It was then when she abruptly slapped my wandering hand
Speaker 6: and proclaimed, yully into aggressive. I'm going to sleep. I said, great,
Speaker 6: So what am I supposed to do with this raging pope.
Speaker 6: I don't care what you do with that boner as
Speaker 6: long as it doesn't bother me, because I'm going to
Speaker 6: fuck the bed.
Speaker 3: I lay next to her, and she somehow conquered the
Speaker 3: cocaine and entered the dream world.
Speaker 6: My boner would not flee, and soon I found myself
Speaker 6: furiously master me.
Speaker 7: Where do I ejaculate?
Speaker 2: I thought?
Speaker 3: She said she didn't care what I did with my
Speaker 3: boner as long as it didn't bother, so I decided
Speaker 3: there was only one thing I could do.
Speaker 6: I would masturbate into her hammer.
Speaker 2: It seemed to me.
Speaker 6: Even to be and any gentleman to her main scenario.
Speaker 3: I spent the next three hours alternating between staring at
Speaker 3: the ceiling and masturbating into her hander as I ran
Speaker 3: her and away. When she did, she was hungover, she
Speaker 3: was grumpy, and she was infinitely more unpleasant than I.
Speaker 6: Remember, Hippy, we're going to Norms and you're buying me
Speaker 6: steaking agg.
Speaker 7: Yes, ma'am, I said.
Speaker 6: I sat in that Norms in my silver unitar, and
Speaker 6: my mother.
Speaker 3: Wave nursing a diet with this glorinous woman, and she
Speaker 3: the grizzly steak and eggs.
Speaker 6: Like it was Ambrosien stolen from the Mount Olippus.
Speaker 3: We were getting looks from the patience patrons. Sorry, it's Norms,
Speaker 3: might be patience. We were getting looks from the patrons
Speaker 3: that are usually reserved for death row inmates.
Speaker 6: You know, I would admit we who at least I
Speaker 6: deserved it. She drove me home to enhance the horror,
Speaker 6: simply to amuse myself. I said to her, that was
Speaker 6: a lot of fun last night. Can I get your
Speaker 6: number in your fucking dream, she said.
Speaker 9: Get in a car and then stuff my head back
Speaker 9: in the window and told her, I wait, if I
Speaker 9: were you, I probably spend doing laundry.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna sleep from the cocaine, and I spend and
Speaker 3: keep masturbating in the append my lady, Halloween, and that's
Speaker 3: all to sleep.
Speaker 6: Most telling you that we.
Speaker 5: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 4: Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 4: much baggage.
Speaker 5: You clay give us time and they turn and al
Speaker 5: and gay.
Speaker 9: We want to send you off insil.
Speaker 5: We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all
Speaker 5: about it. We scared? He was it fine? Now porn?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 6: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chriss