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Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, Oh Ship, and We're back just

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Speaker 1: like that. Welcome to another Carefully Reckless episode with your

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Speaker 1: girl Just Hilarious. Now listen. I know I usually have guests,

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Speaker 1: but I'm doing this episode today by myself. Now, this

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Speaker 1: is the third episode since I've been back for season two,

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Speaker 1: and I want to get into something more serious. I

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Speaker 1: know you always expect for me to play, but I'm

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Speaker 1: a mom and I'm noticing things about my son that

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Speaker 1: i haven't noticed before. So is his dad. So let

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Speaker 1: me ask you this. Have you ever seen a sudden,

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Speaker 1: extreme change in your child like sudden? Now I have.

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Speaker 1: Over the past few months, I've seen that my son

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Speaker 1: is way more quiet. He likes to be alone a lot.

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Speaker 1: He were preferred to be by himself. He don't even

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Speaker 1: like to be around his friends, his cousins and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. And I pay attention to that because if

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Speaker 1: you are an avid gu hilarious Wild Sure viewer fan supporter,

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Speaker 1: what have you whatever thing you know? Over the years,

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Speaker 1: my son has been charismatic, charming, absolutely animated, just the

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Speaker 1: ball of fun, big personality. He's just like his mom.

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Speaker 1: That's died down quite a lot over the past few months. Right,

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Speaker 1: His father also sees it as well, because he doesn't

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Speaker 1: like to go with his dad on the weekends anymore.

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Speaker 1: I just noticed that. Now, wrong, everybody, no, little Bay

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Speaker 1: Fall him, that's that's my son's dad. He is a

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Speaker 1: father of four um and expecting a new one. So

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Speaker 1: a father of five and a stepfather of one. So

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Speaker 1: it's six kids in that whole household where he is,

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Speaker 1: you know, with his current girlfriend. And I noticed more recently,

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Speaker 1: you know, he just got a house. Congratulations to my

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Speaker 1: little baby Fall and his girlfriend. And I'm saying he

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Speaker 1: just got a house and moved all the kids together. Fine,

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Speaker 1: you know now as other kids, they live with their moms.

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Speaker 1: But it never fails. Every weekend sometimes even into the

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Speaker 1: weak rome has his children, all of them. Now, this

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Speaker 1: is one thing when I noticed that he didn't want

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Speaker 1: to go over anymore. It was just one weekend out

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Speaker 1: of the blue. He was like, Mommy, can I stay

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Speaker 1: with you? And I'm like, I'm not gonna be home

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Speaker 1: this weekend. I'm gonna be out and about parties all

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Speaker 1: of that stuff. He's like, all right, it's fine, I'll

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Speaker 1: still stay home, like I'm old enough to stay home.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, ash no, you're not. You're nine, baby, you're

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Speaker 1: more advanced than the average nine year old or whatever

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Speaker 1: that means, but you cannot stay home by yourself. Mind you.

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Speaker 1: Where I live now, it is a lot of security.

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Speaker 1: I live in a building, a condo up on the

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Speaker 1: twenty three flow all that. Like, I'm I'm secure. You

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Speaker 1: can't even get on my floor without a key fob

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Speaker 1: and all that type of ship. We got purity downstairs

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Speaker 1: outside everything, so it's completely secure. However, Ashton is an explorer.

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Speaker 1: That little boy would be trying to cook and every

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Speaker 1: goddamn thing else, like, nah, you're not burning down, no

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Speaker 1: damn building, Okay, you're not gonna do that. And then

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Speaker 1: we have a dog, Banane, my little frenchie. So I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not old enough. I'm gonna give you into like twelve, eleven, twelve, whatever,

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Speaker 1: then you could be in the house by yourself. He's like, nah, nah,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to go with him. I said, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what does he do to you? Why don't you want

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Speaker 1: to go? I just don't want to go. He won't

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Speaker 1: ever give me a reason. So I talked to his

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Speaker 1: dad about it. I went to Rome, I say, yo,

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Speaker 1: don't even take this the wrong way, but out of nowhere,

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Speaker 1: Ash just would rather stay home on the weekends. And

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Speaker 1: he was like, yeah, I know, he's been acting like

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Speaker 1: he don't want to be with me when I come

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Speaker 1: pick him up on Fridays. And I'm like, have you

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Speaker 1: ever asked him why? And He's like no. I told Rome,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, Rome, I've asked him why, but he won't

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Speaker 1: tell me. I think we should come to him together.

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Speaker 1: So we talked to him together. He like, nothing, No,

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Speaker 1: I just don't I don't want to I like to

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Speaker 1: be home now. Rome thought because he has a mom

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Speaker 1: that travels a lot, and I'm always on the go,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I spend as much time with him

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Speaker 1: as I can. And even when he's out of school,

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Speaker 1: he travels with me. I take my son everywhere with

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Speaker 1: me as long as he doesn't have school. Since the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: everything really hasn't picked back up like it wasen, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I'm actually home more than I've ever been since

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Speaker 1: I've become a celebrity, right, So I'm like, no, that

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Speaker 1: can't be it. I spend way more time with him

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Speaker 1: than I ever used to when I first started blowing up, Like, no,

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Speaker 1: I spend way more time. He's getting older, Rome I

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Speaker 1: don't even think it's the fact that he wants to

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Speaker 1: be up under me, because nowadays me and ashe will

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Speaker 1: be in the house and I won't hear from him

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Speaker 1: unless I go see what he's doing. Like my baby

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Speaker 1: used to be up under me. He used to be

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Speaker 1: more affectionate. He used to kiss me, tell me he

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Speaker 1: loves me, hug me, touch on my little love handles,

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Speaker 1: like he gets that ship from his dad's dad used

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Speaker 1: to just he just like to play with fat and ship.

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Speaker 1: But you know, it used to be all of that affection,

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Speaker 1: attention mommy, mommy, this mommy, that mommy, mommy. I gotta

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Speaker 1: pay this little boy to call me now, like I

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Speaker 1: love hearing the word mommy because he doesn't say it,

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Speaker 1: like he doesn't talk. And I feel like he's too

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Speaker 1: young to be so unemotional now he's nine. This usually

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Speaker 1: occurs in teenagers. My son is not even ten yet.

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Speaker 1: He will be April fourteen, but he's not even ten yet,

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Speaker 1: and he's already showing me that he may be an introvert.

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Speaker 1: Now that's what The whole episode is about how you're

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Speaker 1: able to tell if your child is an introvert or not,

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Speaker 1: which I think he is, which is weird to me

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Speaker 1: because I would have guessed that he would be an extrovert.

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Speaker 1: And this is literally recently, like believe it was just

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Speaker 1: like me, not even a year ago. I'm talking about

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Speaker 1: what like he don't like the camera no more, he

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Speaker 1: don't like being um recorded, he don't like none of

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Speaker 1: that ship. He don't like his door open. Now you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm a black mom, so sometimes i'd be like, now,

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Speaker 1: lead us, goddamned door open, what you're doing. I'll be

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Speaker 1: even listening by his door, and he really don't be

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Speaker 1: doing ship. My man be watching TV, he'll be doing

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Speaker 1: his homework, he'll be reading a book, he'll be uh

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Speaker 1: watching YouTube. He don't even really be on the phone

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Speaker 1: to talk to his friends. You know, because when we

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Speaker 1: were younger and we closed the door, we're on the phone,

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Speaker 1: we're cussing this ship, you know what I mean, trying

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Speaker 1: to sound cool for our friends and oh, lil look

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Speaker 1: we we yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch on the ship on it,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like we're doing all that

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Speaker 1: he does not do any of that, and trust me,

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Speaker 1: I listen, I'm talking about these is be glued to

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Speaker 1: the damn door. He gives me nothing, But I'm letting

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Speaker 1: you know. I feel like now Rome and I, with

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Speaker 1: the help of my mother, we're raising an introverted child.

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Speaker 1: And the craziest thing about it is when he's home

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Speaker 1: with me, I'm raising an introverted child in an extroverted

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Speaker 1: world because my world is very extroverted. Now, let's and

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Speaker 1: I also possess some quiet qualities, Like you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: not outgoing all the time. Sometimes people may see me

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Speaker 1: out and they expect for me to be loud and

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Speaker 1: jumping around, and it's that and the other and like

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Speaker 1: they see me on the internet, where really I have

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Speaker 1: a downside as well, like not a damn I don't

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Speaker 1: want to stay down. That's that's the wrong word, because

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Speaker 1: I'm not like, I'm hardly ever down. You know, I'm

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Speaker 1: highly blessed and favor but I don't like to talk

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Speaker 1: to people. Sometimes I like to be alone. I like to,

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Speaker 1: you know, just be by myself. Like I'll get to

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Speaker 1: that point where I don't want to be on anybody.

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Speaker 1: But I still can't even say that my child gets

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Speaker 1: that from me. I don't understand what I'm saying because

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Speaker 1: we have to realize everything that our children do, it's

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Speaker 1: not really based off of how we raise them. It's

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Speaker 1: not really based off what they see us do. Our

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Speaker 1: kids really still possess and developed traits of their own.

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Speaker 1: They're still their own people. Like my brother. My brother

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Speaker 1: is a total opposite of me. We were both raised

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Speaker 1: in the same house by the same to parents, one disciplinarian,

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Speaker 1: one more lenient, which was my dad. But he was

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Speaker 1: still a great damn father and we did not play

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Speaker 1: with his ass. But still my brother turned out totally

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Speaker 1: different than I did. My brother is my biological brother,

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Speaker 1: big brother, only when I have. His name is Kevin.

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Speaker 1: He has anger issues. He's introverted as funk like you

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Speaker 1: don't like to be around people. That's it. He worked,

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Speaker 1: he stays to himself, He go home, same ship, wife

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Speaker 1: and kids. That's it. Half the time. He only like

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Speaker 1: to be around the ass. But that is literally it.

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Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and

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Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. So these are some of

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Speaker 1: the questions that you have to ask yourself, you know,

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Speaker 1: instead of being piste off because it's easy for parents

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Speaker 1: to be upset when they feel like they can't get

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Speaker 1: through to their child, Like it's easy for them to

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Speaker 1: be upset about it because I got upset about it.

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Speaker 1: Rome gets a little bit more upset than me because

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Speaker 1: he's like, yo, what is it about me? He's taking

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Speaker 1: it personal, like my, I don't like to be around me.

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Speaker 1: What is this ship? Yo? I'm not used to this.

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Speaker 1: Rome lost his mom. Rome was not close with his

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Speaker 1: dad after that. So understand Rome is more fearful for

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Speaker 1: his child, not wanting to be around him. He's thinking

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Speaker 1: it's something that has to do with him, and it's

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Speaker 1: really not. You have to ask yourself, like I told Rome,

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Speaker 1: how do you talk to an introverted child? You have

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Speaker 1: to accept and embrace. The first hurdle to get over

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Speaker 1: is yourself. We gotta get over ourselves, like, no, it's

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Speaker 1: not even it's not about what we're doing. It's not

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Speaker 1: we're both two goddamn good parents, Like it's not us.

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Speaker 1: You got to encourage them to seek out outlets for

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Speaker 1: self expression, like I love for Ashton to express himself

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Speaker 1: and he does so, but not in front of people.

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Speaker 1: And I told you that's so recent that that's more

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Speaker 1: recent than anything. We have to respect their need for privacy.

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Speaker 1: That's also big when you're an introvert, respect their privacy. Now,

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Speaker 1: I know he's only nine, and I know you're probably

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Speaker 1: looking at the damn phone and looking at the podcast

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Speaker 1: like I am his mother or you all his mother?

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Speaker 1: What you man? H don't get no damn privacy. That's

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Speaker 1: the problem. Even with us growing up. We didn't get privacy,

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Speaker 1: all right. That's why we snuck and did a lot

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Speaker 1: of ship, and you know, turned into rebellious teenagers because

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Speaker 1: we weren't giving the respect of privacy as children. A

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Speaker 1: lot of us, not in all cases, but very much most.

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Speaker 1: You know I'm saying, especially growing up black. I can't

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Speaker 1: speak for other races. I don't know how this ship is.

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Speaker 1: I just know for me, I wasn't allowed to have

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Speaker 1: a personality. I wasn't well. I wasn't allowed to have

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Speaker 1: a mood. I wasn't allowed to have an attitude to

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Speaker 1: be upset or whatever. I wasn't allowed to hand no

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Speaker 1: damn privacy where I can just scream in my pillows,

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Speaker 1: shut my door, and just do all types of ship.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Your parents back then always

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Speaker 1: wanted to be able to know what the funk you

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Speaker 1: was doing, but didn't give you the liberty and the

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Speaker 1: freedom to express what the funk you was going through.

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Speaker 1: So that's the mistake that I don't want to make

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Speaker 1: with my child respect or need for privacy. Like I

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Speaker 1: told you Ashton, he likes to keep his door shut.

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Speaker 1: Now I'll listen for a while, trying to catch something.

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Speaker 1: I will never catch anything. He just really likes to

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Speaker 1: be by himself, off to the side, not with too

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Speaker 1: many kids. Like seriously, I also noticed that my baby

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Speaker 1: had a lot of friends in the same school. He's

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Speaker 1: been in sending the same school since first grade, and

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Speaker 1: now he has kids that it will speak to, but

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Speaker 1: he don't really want to hang out with them. He

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Speaker 1: don't really want to talk to them all the time

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Speaker 1: and ship Like I'm like, I'm paying your phone bill

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Speaker 1: for no reason because you and on the phone. You

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, you know another thing you

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Speaker 1: have to work with their strengths, like find out what

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Speaker 1: his strength is, like find out what her strength is.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to you now, guys, like if you're listening

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Speaker 1: to your child is going through the same thing or

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Speaker 1: you're going through the same thing with your child. Find

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Speaker 1: out what they flourish at, like, what they blossom at

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Speaker 1: with their passion is what they're good at. Find out

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Speaker 1: their strengths. Also with an introvert, you can't be screaming

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Speaker 1: and with the rye Ryan, get what that's wrong with

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Speaker 1: you and do like you have to give them gentle nudges,

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Speaker 1: not hard ass thrusts, Like you just can't be so

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Speaker 1: harsh with an introvert that will push them away even

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Speaker 1: further than you already feel that they're pushed away, when

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Speaker 1: it's not even really them pushing you away. It's just

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Speaker 1: who they are, you know what I mean. They don't

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Speaker 1: like to be yelled at and scolded and ship also

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Speaker 1: teach them to understand and celebrate their uniqueness. Tell them

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Speaker 1: Explain to them what an introvert is, you know, and

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Speaker 1: then tell them the uniqueness of it. Tell them that

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Speaker 1: you understand them. Like, even if you don't understand them,

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Speaker 1: try to, you know, don't make them feel bad about it,

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Speaker 1: because that's what me and Rome was doing when we

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Speaker 1: couldn't figure it out. Unintentionally, we were making him kind

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Speaker 1: of feel bad for not opening up. But it's like, damn,

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Speaker 1: maybe we should take a different approach. I honestly would

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Speaker 1: not encourage therapy so early for a child that is

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Speaker 1: developing introvertedness. But later on in life, if you see

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Speaker 1: that it turns into something else, that okay, because just

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Speaker 1: because you're an introvert does not mean you need therapy.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't not always. And then you guys would ask

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Speaker 1: the question, well, where does it come from? Where does

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Speaker 1: introverted people come from? How do you just become an introvert?

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Speaker 1: That's because introversion or extraversion, you know both, but we're

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Speaker 1: speaking of introversion. It's something that humans are born with

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Speaker 1: and it may take a minute to activate, you know,

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I thought he was an extrovert. No,

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Speaker 1: it's determined and in large part by our genes, but

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Speaker 1: it's still can happen where your kid is growing up

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Speaker 1: and they're growing into themselves. Ashton could have been just

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Speaker 1: like me because kids are also sponges. So he may

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Speaker 1: could have just been regurgitating everything that he's seen me

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Speaker 1: do since he was born, like, Okay, I know my

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Speaker 1: mother's loud, crazy, silly da da. He was doing that

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Speaker 1: ship up until he's now growing into himself. So I

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Speaker 1: just felt like he's finally growing into himself. Now we

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Speaker 1: got a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast,

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Speaker 1: I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. If you

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Speaker 1: also still don't know if your child is an introvert,

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Speaker 1: this is how you can tell. They literally like recharge

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Speaker 1: by being alone. I'm telling you, if you feel like

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Speaker 1: your child always has an attitude, always angry, leave him

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Speaker 1: alone for a while and see if it if they

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Speaker 1: come back, if they're in a better mood, they recharge

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Speaker 1: by being alone. It's it's literally, you know, it's it's

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Speaker 1: it's just different. I'm not gonna say it's weird. They're

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Speaker 1: not gonna say it's awkward. It's just different from what

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Speaker 1: if you're an extrovert, you know, listen a bit more

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Speaker 1: when they speak. Don't be so quick to shut them up. Like,

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Speaker 1: just listen to them talk, pay attention, pay attention to

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Speaker 1: the kind of music they listen to. You also will

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Speaker 1: know if they take their time processing something like, for instance,

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend, he's an introvert for shohore, for sure. I'll

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Speaker 1: ask him a question and he will literally take so

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Speaker 1: long in between words, telling me that's because they're thinking

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Speaker 1: as they're talking. They're processing ship. They are different. I'm

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Speaker 1: telling you, they're fucking different. Just be more calm with

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Speaker 1: your kids. Just give them a second. You take a second,

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Speaker 1: and then go back and reflect on some ship calmly.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Now, I'm not saying walk

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Speaker 1: on egg shows. I'm not. But you have to adapt

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Speaker 1: to your child, just like they have to adapt to you.

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Speaker 1: You know, everything is about adapting. Some things you should

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Speaker 1: not say to an introvert, whether it's your child or not,

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Speaker 1: because we we gotta respect these people. You know, they're

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Speaker 1: just a little bit different. And I struggle with my

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Speaker 1: introverted boyfriend every day, and now I gotta introverted child.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, Lord, please help me, because I'm extroverted

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Speaker 1: enough for everybody. Okay, so I know I get on

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Speaker 1: their nerves too. But this is what you don't say.

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Speaker 1: I learned this dating an introverted person. You're so quiet,

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Speaker 1: you real quiet. Don't say that. It's just like, okay,

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Speaker 1: if you don't know the person is an introvert, you're

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Speaker 1: just gonna say what come to your mind. But once

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Speaker 1: you figure it out, certain things are just offensive. It

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Speaker 1: can be offensive, like if we are extroverted. You don't

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Speaker 1: want nobody always saying damn you loud it you always

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Speaker 1: loud and aggressive. That's something that I take offense to

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Speaker 1: you all the time because I don't feel that way.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel that I'm always loud and aggressive. I'm

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Speaker 1: loud and aggresive when I have to be, sometimes more

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Speaker 1: often than not. But that's also a part of me,

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Speaker 1: just my extra version. That's it. If you think about it,

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Speaker 1: the root word for extroverts, it's extra. It's like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's not, it's actually extra. But Ship, I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: it like it is. It's extra, bitch, all right, I'm extra. Now,

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Speaker 1: don't say speak up more. You need to speak up more,

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Speaker 1: damn because in their mind it's like, Nigga, I'm trying.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying even I don't even want to. I don't

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Speaker 1: even talk, so how I'm gonna speak up? Nigga, I

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Speaker 1: don't even like to talk to y'all. Motherfucker's they're in

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Speaker 1: their mind saying that. Ship. Don't say speak up, be

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Speaker 1: more assertive, be more assertive. No, that's for y'all. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. That ain't for us. Also, don't

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Speaker 1: interrupt them why they're talking, because nine times out of

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Speaker 1: tend you ain't gonna have to because they ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: have much to say. They're expressive in different ways. You

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Speaker 1: will notice a lot of introverted people are artists, you know,

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Speaker 1: because artists they love to express themselves nonverbally, you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Not recording artists. I'm talking about like

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Speaker 1: creative people, artistic people. They like to paint, they like

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Speaker 1: to draw, they like to design, close, they design whatever,

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Speaker 1: you know, stuff that keep them busy where they don't

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Speaker 1: have to say much to nobody because they're in their

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Speaker 1: own zone. Don't say you're so boring, like you're boring,

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Speaker 1: and ship like you're so boring. Please don't say that

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Speaker 1: to them. Aren't you lonely? Don't say that ship? Be

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Speaker 1: more outgoing? Don't say that ship. And I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: this before I get up out of here and they

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Speaker 1: listen everything I just said. I want y'all to be informed.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be very educational to y'all because I

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Speaker 1: don't just get on here just talking ship. That's for

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Speaker 1: reckless discussions that comes out every Wednesday on YouTube. Make

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Speaker 1: sure you check it out. Okay, y'all got uh about

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Speaker 1: twelve more hours until the episode with eleven drops. But

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Speaker 1: I don't want anybody to think that. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm telling y'all to walk on eggshells around your kids

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Speaker 1: or you know, these introverted people that you think that

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Speaker 1: you have to dim your light for no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: And that's another thing. They don't want you too dimn

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Speaker 1: you're light. They just don't want you to force them

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Speaker 1: to shine. There is brighter and that's the word. I know,

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Speaker 1: that's right, But like I dropped something on that that

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Speaker 1: was that was a gym, that was like god damn

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Speaker 1: jem of the day. But listen, it's a difference between

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Speaker 1: introverted people and stubborn ass motherfucker's and and I want

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Speaker 1: you all to mix up the two. My son is

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Speaker 1: not a stubborn ass little motherfucker, and neither is my boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: They just are introverted people. That's just what that is.

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Speaker 1: And as long as y'all know how to treat these people,

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Speaker 1: then everything will be fine. So just like that, we

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Speaker 1: come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode.

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Speaker 1: What's your favorite girl? Just a Larry, Let's make sure

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Speaker 1: you tune in every week every Wednesday on hump Day,

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Speaker 1: Specter Nal Aspect Aspect nice As Carefully Reckless is a

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Speaker 1: production of I heart Radio and The Black Effect. For

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Speaker 1: more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart

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Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your

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Speaker 1: favorite shows.