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Speaker 1: Scotty you're ready.

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Speaker 2: Oh I am ready to just laugh and laugh and laugh.

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Speaker 1: Curdie b.

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Speaker 3: Man almost loses penis after pubic hair cuts off circulation.

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Speaker 1: Ha ha oh.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into a very close call situation on this

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Speaker 2: very special episode of Portland Bananas Your World.

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Speaker 4: Unstead would you your mind?

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Speaker 5: Nor cillion pieces?

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Speaker 2: Kahanamandi made that song, Kahan, we might be the gals

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Speaker 2: and non binary pals.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to a live.

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Speaker 6: Bananas and Portland at the Aladdin.

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Speaker 7: Then yeah, that's good, that's good. Thank you for listening.

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Speaker 2: Who the silliest little podcast ever was Sitting next to me?

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Speaker 2: Is the Pride of Neptune, New Jersey, The one and

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Speaker 2: one Kurtie B.

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Speaker 1: Kirk Brown older and sitting next to me?

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Speaker 3: Is this sun of Reiserstown, Maryland?

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Speaker 1: Close? Pretty close? Please?

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Speaker 2: Well, Reister's town pretty good?

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Speaker 1: What Reister's town in there? I never every time you

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Speaker 1: say it, I hear Riser's Town? We speak bad.

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Speaker 8: There were ladies.

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Speaker 2: No Scott Alander, Oh, welcome to Bananas now. I did

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Speaker 2: want to do one thing at the top of the show.

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Speaker 2: I so you're a part of the show. Not only

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Speaker 2: were we going to get your confessions later, but you

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Speaker 2: know you want to hear your voice right of.

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Speaker 8: Course when you listen to the live podcast, do you

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Speaker 8: want to hear.

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Speaker 1: It in three weeks? Maybe? Probably?

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Speaker 2: So we thought it'd be fun if on the count

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Speaker 2: of three, so you can hear your own voice and

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Speaker 2: your own name on the podcast. We want everybody here

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Speaker 2: to yell your own name as loud as you can.

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Speaker 9: Ready, one, two, three. Here's my question. Did anyone yell

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Speaker 9: their full name?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? There we go, you're dead right there. It's do

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Speaker 1: you have like a good full name?

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Speaker 3: Does it like roll off the tongues of like mac

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Speaker 3: primo or something?

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Speaker 1: Well, mac Primo, we know Mac Premo. Yeah, you have

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Speaker 1: a good one. What is what? Melina Choice Nut? Wow? Wow,

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Speaker 1: that is good. You weren't lying.

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Speaker 3: I think I think I'm in love with your name.

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Speaker 3: I know that's amazing.

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Speaker 1: Melena Joyce Nut. You want to say it? That is crazy.

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Speaker 3: There are certain there are certain sounds when put together.

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Speaker 1: Your mouth just wants to do that.

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Speaker 2: It's because it ends in that hard consonant that is

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Speaker 2: Melna Joyce, Helena Joyce Nut.

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Speaker 1: I got Melaya Joyce Nuts last Joyce Nut.

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Speaker 3: Now I want you to tell them about about the

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Speaker 3: guy the baggage chandler.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so yes, I will so. I We just flew

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Speaker 2: in today from San Francisco. I was on a United flight.

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Speaker 2: It was as good as it sounds. And I look

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Speaker 2: out the window and I'm watching the baggage handler and

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Speaker 2: this scuy's got like wrap around Oakley blades, shorts.

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Speaker 1: He's got shorts on.

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Speaker 2: He's got a leg up on his like little golf

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Speaker 2: cart thing that he drops.

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Speaker 3: He looks a little bit like me. He's like super

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Speaker 3: super white like me.

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Speaker 1: It's funny.

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Speaker 2: This is this audience is probably sort of the right age.

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Speaker 2: But he looked like Lane, the former lead singer of

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Speaker 2: Alice in Chains.

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Speaker 1: He looked like that guy.

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Speaker 2: So if that guy actually didn't die of a heroin overdose,

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Speaker 2: he might be a baggage handler in San Francisco for

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Speaker 2: the United Airlines. And in the span of one or

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Speaker 2: two minutes, I saw him go through ten huge emotional swings.

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Speaker 3: The badge are on the plane, he's he's in the

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Speaker 3: he's in the little car. The menzies, if you will,

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Speaker 3: do you guys leg up, just hanging out.

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Speaker 2: He's got his ear things in, he's got sunglasses on,

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Speaker 2: no backwards hat, backwards United hat, which is you know,

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Speaker 2: power move.

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Speaker 1: They're not firing, it's union. He's not getting fired. And

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm the only person watching him. I can tell.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, look at this soob and he goes he

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Speaker 2: First he's like just sitting there and he just gets angry.

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Speaker 1: Then he gets happy. He's like.

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Speaker 2: And then he like thinks about it for a minute,

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Speaker 2: like and a guy goes by and he like waves

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Speaker 2: to him, like, oh hey, and then he's like, this

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Speaker 2: man had every emotion.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel.

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Speaker 2: One of the reasons Kurt and I are such good friends,

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Speaker 2: as Kurt feels one percent of emotions, sadness to happiness

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Speaker 2: all the way. It's a beautiful thing to see in

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Speaker 2: a friend. I'm right here all the time. You can

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Speaker 2: probably tell if you listen to the podcast, this guy

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Speaker 2: went through every emotion, just sitting there thinking, oh, I.

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Speaker 1: Love that he was a good guy.

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Speaker 3: He was going on with his mind in that moment.

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Speaker 3: Was you know, it was just oh, y'all we then.

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Speaker 1: He shouldn't have but I did. Okay, it's kind of funny.

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Speaker 1: The sun's out. It's just luggage. After all, it's a

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Speaker 1: great theater.

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Speaker 2: Do you guys know they ran deep throat for fourteen

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Speaker 2: years in a row this theater. We are the exact

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Speaker 2: opposite of that experience. That's crazy, absolutely all right.

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Speaker 1: What was the story? Somebody got his ding dong chopped off?

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Speaker 1: You want to hear it. I love to hear it.

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Speaker 8: This was sent in by none other than Aaron Erdman.

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Speaker 1: She's great Banana boy number five.

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Speaker 8: Uh, no way, she's here.

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Speaker 1: You're kidding? What is she? Wow? Stand up? That is it.

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Speaker 5: Her?

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Speaker 1: And we did not know. We didn't know. I didn't know.

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Speaker 1: Did you know? I did not know? From Chicago, Well, Illinois.

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Speaker 2: Champagne that toes in the country, toasted the country.

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Speaker 1: Well, Aaron, great to see you. I can't believe it.

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Speaker 1: If you kill us.

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Speaker 2: It was Aaronman Page roasting company, Champagne Illinois toast to

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Speaker 2: the country.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this was This was posted on the New York Post.

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Speaker 3: I apologize, we don't wait from the New York Post.

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Speaker 3: They both, but they often have the most comedic writing.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they are pretty good.

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Speaker 3: This is written by Ben Kost, who I've heard is business.

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Speaker 1: He is good.

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Speaker 8: Man almost loses penis.

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Speaker 3: After pubic hair cuts off circulation. An Australian man surprise, surprise.

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Speaker 2: Surprise, the continent of Florida.

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Speaker 1: They know it, I know it. I have been. It

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Speaker 1: is the continent of Florida. Yes.

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Speaker 3: An Australian man nearly lost part of his penis after

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Speaker 3: errant pubic hair ensnared the tip and cut off circulation

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Speaker 3: like a grotesque girl.

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Speaker 1: What I mean?

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Speaker 3: This is why you come to the New York You

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Speaker 3: want grotesque garot. Wow quote we describe an unusual case

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Speaker 3: in an adult resulting in erosion of the wreath.

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Speaker 8: Rare read a urology case.

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Speaker 3: Reports, study detailing the poor souls phallic asphyxiation m.

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Speaker 1: Best in the biz, really good bend cost.

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Speaker 3: He specifically suffered from hair tourniquet syndrome, in which hair

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Speaker 3: or thread becomes tightly tangled around the genital's fingers.

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Speaker 1: Not great extreme extremities. I've never heard of this because

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Speaker 1: you don't have a child.

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Speaker 3: Generally affecting children, the affliction can cut off blood flow,

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Speaker 3: requiring patients to undergo surgery and even amputation.

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Speaker 1: Don't want that.

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Speaker 3: The fifty seven year old Geelong native who was reportedly uncircumcised,

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Speaker 3: had reported to family doctor after suffering extremely wow.

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Speaker 1: I was a group of the audience.

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Speaker 8: You just went to the word uncircumcised.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, no, keep it clean.

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Speaker 3: My son is uncircumcised. I didn't know that, yes, and

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Speaker 3: I don't know. It is like it isn't like a

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Speaker 3: thing I've heard many comics do a bit where the

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Speaker 3: premise is like, why do you want your penis to

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Speaker 3: look like your son's penis? Like, there's no reason for that,

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Speaker 3: But I am circumcized, and it is weird. It is

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Speaker 3: like I'm always just like, I don't know how to

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Speaker 3: help you with this. Like I thought I was pretty

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Speaker 3: clear on having a penis, but I think I need

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Speaker 3: to do some research for your benefits.

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Speaker 1: They're both great, no matter what you got. It's just different.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it's all about. So anyway, here's

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Speaker 1: how it goes. More to tattoo? What more to tattoo?

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Speaker 1: That's what I always say.

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Speaker 2: Nobody's ever said that before. I'm not a stand up comedian.

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Speaker 2: More to tattoo.

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Speaker 6: Uncircumciseding dog Uh had report he had reported to a

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Speaker 6: family doctor after suffering extreme pain and swelling of his glands,

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Speaker 6: the scientific term for the penis tip.

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Speaker 3: I did not know that, thank you. I always thought

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Speaker 3: it was a head, but.

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Speaker 1: Of course they, of course dudes would call it a head,

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Speaker 1: like it's the thinking part. You look at a helmet

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Speaker 1: on it. The scientific term for the penis tip.

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Speaker 3: For two weeks, however, medics didn't notice the culprit as

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Speaker 3: they didn't check under the hood. Oh rod, Okay, now

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Speaker 3: that seems like a joke, but I believe that is

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Speaker 3: the proper term.

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Speaker 1: There you go, who knew?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just like a litteralhood, the penis head has a hood.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're getting right into it tonight.

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Speaker 8: I took I've never talked about this.

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Speaker 3: I took a class, okay in college called like sexual.

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Speaker 1: It was like sexual.

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Speaker 3: For I can't remember the name of it anyway, and

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Speaker 3: it's taught by one of the first guys who one

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Speaker 3: of the first surgeons who ever did when I when

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Speaker 3: a child is born with both with both either both

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Speaker 3: gente or you can't tell if it's a volva or

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Speaker 3: a penis, And then he was like, it was very controversial.

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Speaker 1: Well, intersex, intersex, they're intersex.

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Speaker 3: He you know, he was very controversial. We later learned

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Speaker 3: this was in the nineties, but he was way different

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Speaker 3: back then, way by different. They said different stuff back then.

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Speaker 1: And they can have it. Fuck theamn.

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Speaker 2: It's twenty twenty two, I think nineteen nineties, ten years ago.

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Speaker 3: But the most interesting thing I took from this class,

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Speaker 3: and this isn't funny, this is just interesting to me,

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Speaker 3: is that all of the parts of the of the

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Speaker 3: volva and the vagina, and the penis and the scrotum,

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Speaker 3: they're all they start off as the exact same thing.

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Speaker 3: Oh sure, they're the exact same thing that the glitterists

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Speaker 3: is the tip of the head of the penis, the

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Speaker 3: scrotal sack is the labia boo majora, and menora.

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Speaker 1: This is great information, This is great information. They're all

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Speaker 1: like the balcony rellularly.

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Speaker 3: That's how they all start the same, just they grew different.

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Speaker 1: All right, here we go. I'm glad that came back

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Speaker 1: to you. Oh my god, I love it. Here we is.

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Speaker 3: After steroids failed to alleviate alleviate his agony, the patient

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Speaker 3: referred to the Gelongs University Hospital. They're an examination of

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Speaker 3: the foreskin revealed the source of his pain to be

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Speaker 3: a complex hair tourniquet of short, matted hairs. Wow, that

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Speaker 3: had horrifyingly encircled the area beneath the glands like a

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Speaker 3: miniature choker.

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Speaker 1: Kind the study kind of hot that was written in

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Speaker 1: the study.

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Speaker 2: Are chokers back? Chokers aren't in right now? What but

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Speaker 2: they're coming back. Chokers are back. Low rise jeans are back.

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Speaker 2: That's weird.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, Oh oh, this.

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Speaker 2: Crowd has a lot of takes, a lot of different

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Speaker 2: opinions in Portland, and a lot of opinions.

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Speaker 1: Be who you want to be, doctor speculated.

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Speaker 3: The pubic hair collected under the foreskin, and after significant

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Speaker 3: accumulation and time, the single strands matted together, forming a

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Speaker 3: tight ring. In fact, the tally whacker tourniquit.

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Speaker 1: Pretty good, pretty good, honestly.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know is that a proper term? Or

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Speaker 3: is he being smart like sassy?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all of.

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Speaker 8: The all right, what is it? What's a tally whacker

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Speaker 8: works a ding dong?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 5: Is it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Tally Whacker's a great callywhacker. Great, great. I have

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Speaker 1: never that is amazing. I've never heard that term. Great term.

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Speaker 1: We can all agree that's a great term. Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Of course we're going to find out that it has

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Speaker 3: horrible orda.

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Speaker 2: There's gonna be It was like in the seventeen sixties

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Speaker 2: when you tallied your vote.

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Speaker 1: There were guys who would hit you with a stick

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Speaker 1: and it looked like a dick. And then you're you're like, oh.

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Speaker 2: No, oh god, the banana boys are done.

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Speaker 1: Here it is, we're done, We're over.

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Speaker 3: In fact, the tallywrecker tourniquet was so constricting that it

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Speaker 3: had compressed the number.

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Speaker 8: Down to one centimeter in diameter.

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Speaker 2: Some say that's enough, pretty good, Some say it's enough.

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Speaker 1: Oh I got a story. You just reminded me of one.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it's just that he didn't wash his ding dong enough.

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Speaker 3: That's the end of the story. Yeah, watch his ding

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Speaker 3: dong enough.

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Speaker 1: That's sad. Hey, you gotta watch. I so the reason

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Speaker 1: I am very familiar with this.

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Speaker 2: Also every time it's funny. I see a banana. Here,

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Speaker 2: I see a banana. It's so funny. Pop it up. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you were being polite for the people behind you.

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Speaker 1: I understand that. Dudes, they don't care.

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Speaker 3: And someone in the audience pulled it up and then

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Speaker 3: like a ferret getting into a hole, just no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: shook her head and then it like popped into play

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Speaker 3: as you were saying, cretty, yes, I so uh, this

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Speaker 3: was maybe my son was I don't know, like six

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Speaker 3: months old and there's no maybe a year old.

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Speaker 1: But it was like.

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Speaker 8: During the Great Choir It's lockdown, you guys remember.

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Speaker 3: That, And and he's just really upset and we don't

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Speaker 3: know what's going on. He's just upset, upset, and I'm

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Speaker 3: changing is diaper and then I look and you and

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Speaker 3: the thing is it's so crazy.

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Speaker 1: It was around his penis. But what it.

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Speaker 3: Looks like is you cannot you can't see the hair.

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Speaker 3: The hair is so thin, it's like this, just like

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Speaker 3: thin baby hair. And it was from his head that

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Speaker 3: then somehow like fell off and fell down his pants

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Speaker 3: and then he just like moves around when he sleeps

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Speaker 3: and just like tied it around his penis.

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Speaker 1: This is a.

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Speaker 2: Pixar movie waiting to have. Yeah, it is hair of

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Speaker 2: the dong.

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Speaker 3: And it was so confusing because you're looking at it

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Speaker 3: and it's like there's something there, there's something there, but

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Speaker 3: you can't see what it is, sir, And I'm like

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Speaker 3: and to me, in my mind, the only thing I

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Speaker 3: could think of was like, this is I've always imagined

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Speaker 3: since I've been like ten years old, like when because

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Speaker 3: when I was ten, someone told me like, if you

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Speaker 3: don't cut the six pack rings, it goes around a dolphin's.

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Speaker 8: Nose and he can't breathe. Yeah, and they die.

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Speaker 3: And I was just like every day cutting six pack rings.

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Speaker 2: Even mountain dews that weren't yours. Yeah, getting in there,

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Speaker 2: get in there, cut stuff.

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Speaker 3: And I was just like, it's like, there's a tiny

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Speaker 3: six pack ring.

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Speaker 1: Around my son's penis. Uh.

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Speaker 3: And we had to go to the emergency room and

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Speaker 3: they just get there and when we as we're checking

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Speaker 3: it is so common. As we're checking in, we're like,

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Speaker 3: there's something around this penis and we have no idea

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Speaker 3: what's going on. And she's like, it's probably hair, and

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Speaker 3: we're like what. And then we got there and it

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Speaker 3: was just totally hair. The guy was just like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: here we here's how we Yeah, and it's.

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Speaker 1: We're going to fantastic SAMs. We're gonna get.

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Speaker 2: Him a buzz cut, be twelve dollars with it.

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Speaker 8: It was twelve thousand dollars for the visit.

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Speaker 1: It was very fun.

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Speaker 2: So when we were saying that, Okay, so when I

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Speaker 2: was when I was twenty, I started having panic disorder

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Speaker 2: and I didn't know what it was and I grew

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Speaker 2: up and I felt like I was Ferris Bueller.

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Speaker 1: I like everything fell my way.

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Speaker 2: Things were going great, it was very fortunate, it was fun.

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Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, I would throw up

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Speaker 1: every hour. Every hour. Oh. It was insane. It was crazy,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know what it was.

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Speaker 2: And nobody ever even talked to me about anxiety or

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Speaker 2: panic or anything because boys are.

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Speaker 1: Like, shut up, keep walking. You're like, absolutely, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to do that.

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Speaker 3: And so especially in the eighties or early nineties, there

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Speaker 3: was no like, I've never heard the word anxiety or

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Speaker 3: panic until I was like, ooh, thirties.

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Speaker 1: I didn't figure out what was wrong with me.

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Speaker 2: So I was watching Sopranos and they're like, you're having

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Speaker 2: panic attacks?

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Speaker 5: Who?

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Speaker 2: And I googled panic attacks. I was like, oh, that's why,

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00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 2: I like, go out of class. I'm I got a

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Speaker 2: pee again, throw up, come back, and I'm like, anyways,

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Speaker 2: communication to me.

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Speaker 8: Wow.

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Speaker 1: True.

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Speaker 2: So I was living in Pensacola and I just, oh,

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Speaker 2: no way, uh, there there's some there's some banana theen

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00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 2: bars down there, mate, we should play banana bobs.

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00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,120
Speaker 1: Maybe banana do that? Yeah, all right.

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Speaker 2: So I was getting sick. I was getting nervous and

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Speaker 2: I would throw up. I never thought I was gonna die,

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Speaker 2: didn't think I was having a heart attack. I would

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Speaker 2: just be like hanging out totally normal and then be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I guess I'm in a bar right now.

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Speaker 1: And so my friend was like.

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Speaker 2: You need to go home, you need your mom to

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Speaker 2: a twenty year old and I was a year old.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, you're right. So wait, wait,

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Speaker 1: wait where were you?

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Speaker 2: Where were I was Pensacola Beach And then I went

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Speaker 2: to I drove to Maryland sixteen hours straight because I

355
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 2: was like, this is going bad.

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Speaker 1: So I get there and I'm like, here's what's going on.

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Speaker 1: And my parents are like you.

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Speaker 2: They were like seriously you And I was like, yes,

359
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,880
Speaker 2: this is happening, and they're like, you do look kind

360
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Speaker 2: of skinny.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I know.

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00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 2: And so I found So I sat in the basement,

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00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,720
Speaker 2: I watched movies and I drank weight gainer to put

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Speaker 2: way back on, and I promised, this is going to

365
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 2: get funny at the end.

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Speaker 1: Of the story. I like this, what's weight gainer? Well, like, well, like.

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00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,879
Speaker 2: When you're like working out a lot, you can take

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00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 2: like protein way and stuff that has like tons of calories.

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00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,439
Speaker 1: But I was like, I need to get up.

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00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I got to go back to the

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00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 2: fall semester at UMass and everybody thinks I'm from Alabama

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Speaker 2: for some reason.

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Speaker 1: It's fine.

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Speaker 2: So what I found this is so strange. But what

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00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 2: I found was I'm not a golfer.

376
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Speaker 1: You're not a golfer.

377
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 2: Not golfers if you couldn't tell by what we're wearing.

378
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,520
Speaker 1: They don't like us too much land for too small

379
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 1: a ball. But I would.

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00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,080
Speaker 2: Absolutely be way, way more fun to do other things hard.

381
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 3: I think that's a paraphrase of a George Carlin joke.

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00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, but that's fine.

383
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 2: But I found when I was playing golf, I would

384
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 2: I was thinking about something else and I was focusing,

385
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Speaker 2: and then I was out in the middle of nowhere.

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00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 1: So if I threw up on a golf course, everybody's like,

387
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Speaker 1: we don't.

388
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 2: Care, Like who cares? Like play through. So my parents

389
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 2: were like, well, do.

390
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,160
Speaker 1: You want to go play golf? And I was like sure,

391
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 1: and so I hit this.

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00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 2: We're going up to a whole and I'm walking there

393
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 2: in a cart because I'm like, I just need to.

394
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 1: Be on my own it's weird, and they're like, it's fine.

395
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 2: So my parents are like, oh, I don't know. Fifty

396
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,879
Speaker 2: yards away from me and I hit a ball and

397
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 2: it goes so far over the green like crazy, horrible

398
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 2: shot as if. And my dad's like, what did you hit?

399
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,159
Speaker 2: And I was like seven iron. I was like, I

400
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 2: guess I just gave it too much power. I didn't

401
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 2: realize how far it was. And my mother in the

402
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 2: golf cart driving the golf cart goes, yes, Gottie, we've

403
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 2: been telling you this is six inches your whole life.

404
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 2: Then hits the gas pedal and speeds.

405
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: It just jumped on me so bad. Six inches.

406
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,679
Speaker 2: It was the best joke I've ever been told in

407
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: my entire life to this day. And then the way

408
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,199
Speaker 2: she hit the gas, my dad's head like did that?

409
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 2: Like so, I'm like, I am my most vulnerable. My

410
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 2: mom's being like you suck, and then my dad's.

411
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 1: Like, see you. Best day of my life.

412
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 3: Oh man, she knows how to deliver a goddamn joke. Dude,

413
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,400
Speaker 3: I had forgotten until you were talking about this.

414
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 1: I love that so much. That is a true story. Rocks.

415
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:10,959
Speaker 1: You want to hear one.

416
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 2: Curtty b All right, give me a story about This

417
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 2: was sent in by split trends.

418
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 1: Split trends, Are you here? Nope?

419
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you split Trends. This is from dgmag dot

420
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 2: com dd mag dj dj magg I said it wrong

421
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 2: the first time DJMag dot com, which is for disc jockey.

422
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:32,439
Speaker 1: It is.

423
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,880
Speaker 2: Pretty magazine. How many times a day are you reading

424
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 2: DJMag dot com?

425
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 3: How many times a day? When am I not reading

426
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 3: disc jockey?

427
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 1: It's shocking. It's on his laptop right now.

428
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 3: I have a Google thing that whenever I google anything,

429
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 3: it gives me results from disc Jockey magazine.

430
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 2: First, it's that see what they think they're good at stuff?

431
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 2: What do DJs do is at an iPod shuffle. We'll

432
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 2: talk about it after the show.

433
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: To the.

434
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 2: Written by someone who is very good at typing words

435
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: for DJ's Marissa Satton, who is quite easily the It's

436
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 2: funny that you guys yell your name is louder than

437
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 2: best in the biss Of course I would do. But also,

438
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 2: when was the last time you yelled your own name?

439
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 2: It's super weird.

440
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 1: Oh, it's so weird, all right.

441
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 2: Man attempts to snorkel into Ultra music festival gets VIP ticket.

442
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 8: He attempts to snorkel into a music festival.

443
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: And he did it.

444
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 2: A fan tried to skip the ticket cues at Miami's

445
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 2: Ultra Music Festival by snorkeling into the venue.

446
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,719
Speaker 1: So good, lead the way, Tip of the spear.

447
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 2: Jack Davidson shared his underwater adventures where he and presumably

448
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 2: a friend who filmed it from the shore, documented his

449
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 2: swim around Bayfront Park.

450
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: On the way, he was almost.

451
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 2: Caught near the docks as he was spotted by someone,

452
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 2: and in his video he notes that police and security

453
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 2: boats were posted up around the venue. His snorkeling scheme

454
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 2: was eventually thwarted by the Coastguard.

455
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 1: And he was taken to shore.

456
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 2: In a surprising turn of events, instead of banning Davidson

457
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 2: from the festival, security thought his plan was so funny

458
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 2: that they rewarded him with a VIP wristband. A three

459
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 2: day VIP ticket starts at one thousand dollars.

460
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 8: Oh my god, who was playing at this festival?

461
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: Does it say?

462
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 5: It?

463
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,439
Speaker 1: Does?

464
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 5: It?

465
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: Doesn't? I can't? I love this? I love who? I

466
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 1: hope he did?

467
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 8: Whoever wrote this on the ground reporting.

468
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 1: Marisa Settin, Yeah she is that she was there.

469
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 2: She was there, she was in the water, she was

470
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: in a little time, she was in a little scuba outfit.

471
00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 1: Can I get a quote?

472
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 2: So so the trickster made his way into the festival, still

473
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 2: clad in his wet suit and snorkel flippers in hand,

474
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 2: and partied with the one hundred and sixty five thousand

475
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 2: people in attendance.

476
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, that's amazing. It is amazing.

477
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 3: Also, I still don't understand what the venue is that

478
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 3: you could snorkel into.

479
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,880
Speaker 1: It, Like, is there a section of it? What park?

480
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 2: It's a park, so Randalls Island in New York, Like

481
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 2: you could you could swim up to.

482
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 3: It right right right because they don't have like a

483
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 3: gate around the area that goes to the water right.

484
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 1: Tough to with Coachella. Also, I'm sure somebody try to

485
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: snorkel up to Coachella. Tough time. Not fun.

486
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 2: Davidson's clip ends with him full and snorkeling and gear,

487
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 2: and he says, funny thing is, once I was there,

488
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 2: nobody questioned the outfit at all, which is fantastic.

489
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: Us. It's a good look.

490
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 3: I because mentioned Coachella. I've been to Coachella once in my.

491
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: Entire pretty cool. I'm a pretty cool guy, pretty cool.

492
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 3: And it was it was age inappropriate at the time

493
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 3: that I went. I was like in my thirties and yeah,

494
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 3: but it was from my friend's bachelor party. He loves

495
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 3: music and a bunch of his favorite bands were playing

496
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,199
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, he's from Jersey. So he

497
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 3: flew out and with his buddies and I came out.

498
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 3: I brought all the drugs for them. Yeah, and we

499
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 3: took mushrooms and we're watching We watched Future Islands and

500
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: then we watched The Pixies and it was like had

501
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 3: gotten dark while we were watching the Pixies, and I

502
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 3: was like just peeking and it was hot, and so

503
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 3: I was I. When I take mushrooms, I sweat like

504
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 3: like a faucet has been installed under my hands and

505
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 3: someone turned it on just full blast, like it's just

506
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 3: full water coming down, and I look crazy and I'm

507
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 3: just like the Pixies are like blowing my mind.

508
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: I'm like so happy and I'm.

509
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 8: Just like, ah that at this point, yes, like this.

510
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 1: Height, that's it of drugs.

511
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 8: Somebody taps me on my shoulder and.

512
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 3: I turn around, oh boy, and it is a it

513
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 3: is a man and his daughter, and his daughter is

514
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: around ten years old, pretty young, and she he's like,

515
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 3: she loves Bunk.

516
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: Which is a TV show.

517
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 3: Which is like a game show, and she's He's like,

518
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 3: can she have a picture?

519
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 1: And I was like.

520
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 3: It and then I was like, I'm dripping sweat onto

521
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:37,640
Speaker 3: this ten.

522
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:38,439
Speaker 8: Year old girl.

523
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 3: Whoever, if this person exists out there, maybe they listen

524
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 3: to bananas.

525
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,120
Speaker 1: I have to I need to see that photo. Yes,

526
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: send us the photo, like the highest.

527
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 3: I've ever been, Just like, Hi, I have a family

528
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 3: friendly show on IFC.

529
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 2: That is so funny because when Kurts and the music festivals,

530
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 2: he gets into it.

531
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: I do. I love music, ill music do?

532
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 2: I went to you said bachelor party, right, I went

533
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 2: to a bachelor party. I've been to two bachelor parties

534
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 2: in Portland, which is kind of a weird place to

535
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 2: do bachelor parties. I know, you guys have tons of

536
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 2: like strip clubs or gentlemen's clubs or whatever. But the

537
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 2: guys I went with were not those dudes. The first one,

538
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 2: the marriage.

539
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: Was called off, but we all went anyways. Oh yeah,

540
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: because you'd already playned the bachelor.

541
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 2: The bachelor party is already planned that the bride to

542
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 2: be was like got cold feet, so we were like, oh,

543
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: we're going now one pretty good, Yeah, nothing to lose,

544
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 2: you just cover ard and the next one. I came

545
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: out here and so I was on a job at

546
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 2: the time, but everybody else flew in from the East

547
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 2: Coast and they got in on Thursday, so I had

548
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: to work until sometime on Friday.

549
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: But also has a excuse me. Have any of you

550
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: ever been to.

551
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 2: A wedding where you're like, well, this is the last

552
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: time I'm going to see these people. Yeah, maybe sort of. Yeah,

553
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: it was one of those. So I was probably the

554
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 2: last dude invited. I didn't need to be at the

555
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 2: bachelor party. I think it was just very much like,

556
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 2: well he lives close to Portland, that's he'll come, and

557
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: I will. And so I showed up and they had

558
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 2: a huge airbnb just outside of the city, and nobody

559
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 2: left me key or security code or anything. So I

560
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 2: climbed the lattice and went through a window and got in.

561
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: Yeah you know, I.

562
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: Like, yes, you climbed the lattice like in an eighties

563
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 3: teen sex comedy.

564
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and liking it sex comedy. Nobody in there just

565
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 2: beers and cigarettes, and so I was like, Oh, make

566
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 2: some coffee, I'll hang out.

567
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: I'll be funny when they come back in. I'll have

568
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: a funny movie on whatever. No, So I was like,

569
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 1: where are you guys? No answer? Where are you guys?

570
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: You're texting a group text six people? Oh my god?

571
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: No answer. So I'm just in a house. And also

572
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 1: at that point, sometimes you go, is this the right house?

573
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 1: Did I just break into a house? Which I've done

574
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: I think I talked about on the pod.

575
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 2: I think I stayed an airbnb that was not an

576
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: airbnb once It's fine.

577
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: I don't think you've talked about that on the pod. Well,

578
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: I wrote a movie about it and it should be

579
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: out too. And yeah, oh maybe I haven't. No, you haven't.

580
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 2: All right, another time, llo, way for another guest. So

581
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 2: I'm in this giant house. Super cool. And then finally

582
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: my one buddy, thanks, that's cool. Uh here we are?

583
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: Here we go some different tone hereod story, it's us.

584
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: We're white. Did you guys know that? Could you tell

585
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: from the pod? Yes? So I was like, where are

586
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: you in? My one buddy goes.

587
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 2: Hey, we're whitewater rafting in the Clackham Mass River clacam Ass.

588
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: I'm all right, hey, yeah. So he's like we're in

589
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: the Clacamus River and I'm like how far away. He's like,

590
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: We're gonna be like three more hours.

591
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 2: So I'm like cool, I'm just gonna sit in this

592
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: weird ass house by myself. So I went bought groceries

593
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 2: for everybody because there was literally beer and cigarettes and whiskey.

594
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: That was it.

595
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 2: They had no coffee, they had nothing, they had no snacks.

596
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, these are men in their thirties.

597
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: It's horrifying.

598
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: So I get back and and I was so glad

599
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: I wasn't on that white water rafting trip because when

600
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: we get back.

601
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 2: On this dude Chris that I didn't know, but he

602
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 2: was like the party friend was like they were like,

603
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 2: Chris got food poisoning last night. Now they were like,

604
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 2: we kept having to take the raft over to the

605
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 2: side because he was shitting like so much. And I'm

606
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 2: like this, yes, and I think that the Clacamus River

607
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 2: is a pretty good whitewater rafting river.

608
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:57,719
Speaker 1: This is what they did. If I'm lying, strike me down. Hey.

609
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: They were like, you're you're making us pull over.

610
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 2: So much that he took off his bathing suit and

611
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 2: hung them to the back of the raft and this they.

612
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: Dragged him down the river. That's the way to do it.

613
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 1: That's the way to do it. And so they're telling

614
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: me this like it's totally normal.

615
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 2: They're like, he just held them to the back, and

616
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 2: we would like hold his arm so his hands wouldn't

617
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 2: get tired, and we just dragged him down the whitewater

618
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,840
Speaker 2: rapids with no shorts on, which is the funniest visual

619
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 2: of all time.

620
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, are they doing a bit right now?

621
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 2: And I turned to his due Chris, who had never

622
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 2: met before, and I was like, seriously, he goes, dude.

623
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 2: It was awesome, just dragging and shitting all the way

624
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 2: down the Old Placamus River half an hour outside of Portland, US.

625
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 2: But boy, was I glad I wasn't on no one,

626
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 2: Holy smoked?

627
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: Oh was there? Like a was there?

628
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 3: I find in bachelor parties there's always one man who

629
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 3: is the problem, and was there there always is.

630
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 1: It's the craziest thing. Yeah, want to walk away.

631
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 3: They'll just disappear, or they'll either just disappear or they'll

632
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 3: just be the one where everyone's just like everything he says,

633
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 3: is fucking.

634
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: Awful every time he opens his mouth.

635
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 3: He's a fucking bummer, and we hate him.

636
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: I went on one.

637
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 3: Which was and it was the it was the sister

638
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 3: like it was. It was the sister of the bride's boyfriend.

639
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 2: Sister of the bride's boyfriend on the bachelor party.

640
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: They don't need to be there, buddy, you don't need

641
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: to be there.

642
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 8: And he was awful.

643
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 3: He was like a finance bro who was just like

644
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 3: the whole time.

645
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 2: Finance corporation Boo digital downloads, BOO, mergers, acquisitions.

646
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 1: Boom, you know what. Anything it signed for him. Well,

647
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: this would be like a break. This a commercial break.

648
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: It looking to be a commercial break. We'll take commercial break.

649
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: We'll be right back.

650
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 5: If you still maybe check better believe because everything.

651
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 4: You and we're back and we're back in Portland, Atlantic better.

652
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 1: You guys are awesome, awesome Portland. We will be back.

653
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: So many times I think you just I think you

654
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 3: just beat Tacombe. I think you just beat to Komba.

655
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:57,360
Speaker 1: Yeah you did, you did. They were cool. But so

656
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: here we play favorites. Are we doing? We're doing long

657
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: Banana first. We should do longest banana.

658
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 2: Let me do a couple of shout outs, all right,

659
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 2: because I got a bunch uh divine. Julie C wants

660
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,399
Speaker 2: to shout out Olivia. I don't know if you're here,

661
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,800
Speaker 2: but Julie C shouting out Olivia. That's Olivia is a

662
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 2: beautiful name. A very happy birthday to Kathy Gibbons from Randy.

663
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 2: Congratulations on being born, Kathy. Kathy, come up to the stage.

664
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,760
Speaker 2: We gotta let it get for you. This is Belinda Blinked.

665
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 2: If you guys have ever listened to the podcast, my

666
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 2: dad wrote a porno.

667
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 1: This is the porno the dad wrote there it is.

668
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 3: Happy birthday, Happy birthday, Oh Tacoma.

669
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:49,280
Speaker 9: Also, yeah, happy birthday Kathy.

670
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 8: I think there's a shout out also for Kayla. Is

671
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 8: Kayla here?

672
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 1: Kayla? Yeah? There she is good? Hat did you ask

673
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 1: for a shout out for her?

674
00:35:57,719 --> 00:35:57,879
Speaker 2: Sir?

675
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 1: There? Today we're doing that for.

676
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 8: Memory guys, because I forgot my phone.

677
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: Happy birthday to Ellen. Ellen. Are you here?

678
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 2: Because Ellen came up from San Jose, which is crazy

679
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 2: far to come for this show.

680
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 3: I thought Ellen was gonna win longest Banana, but then

681
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:17,919
Speaker 3: there eron Erdman show.

682
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 1: I know we got that Mara said, happy birdy Ellen

683
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 1: all came all the way up to hang the san Jose.

684
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,280
Speaker 1: That's very nice.

685
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 2: This is just a general but necessary shout out for Eleanora,

686
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 2: a blated birthday to her mom Liz, her aunt Ellen

687
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 2: is here?

688
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: Is Elle here? Oh that's you? Wait, well you're too

689
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: young for this. We can't hand you. How old is

690
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 1: Eleanora eleven?

691
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 8: I am so sorry about everything I've said tonight.

692
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, come take this medium.

693
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 3: Bananamal of the week, Right there, folks, Bananamal of the week.

694
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 2: Also Eleanora called the banana phone. Whence she when you

695
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: were nine years old?

696
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 1: Right?

697
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 2: The banana phone ended exactly when it should have ended.

698
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 2: It got strange at some point.

699
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 1: It got really intense.

700
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 3: I had it for one week and I was like,

701
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 3: Scottie must be losing his fucking mind.

702
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 2: Forty plus calls a day, and finally Curdie b In

703
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:30,240
Speaker 2: twenty twenty, I told a story on the pod about

704
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 2: riding bikes to a penny candy store and then one

705
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 2: of my buddies bought a few.

706
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 8: You who's Oh I remember the story and does you who?

707
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: Yeah?

708
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 2: While we were riding, he said, I think I drank

709
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,879
Speaker 2: a little too much, you who, and then barred you who?

710
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:48,399
Speaker 1: John? Are you here?

711
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 5: Yeah?

712
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: Did you drink a little too much?

713
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 5: You who?

714
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:56,399
Speaker 1: John?

715
00:37:58,239 --> 00:37:58,439
Speaker 5: Yeah?

716
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 2: It was like Stranger Things, but so much better. It

717
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 2: was just like, this is awesome our futures. Anyways, Thanks John,

718
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: Reiser'stown two in the house.

719
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 3: I think we all learned something today that Reiser's town

720
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 3: has a tea.

721
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: Reisterstown has a team. Yep, thank you. I'm the only

722
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 1: one who thought it was Ricer's town, all right. I

723
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: thought it was ri I S E S E R.

724
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,439
Speaker 2: It really doesn't matter. Nobody ever goes there. I thought

725
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 2: the town was one hundred and fifty thousand people. I

726
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 2: googled it twenty four thousand people. That's where I'm from.

727
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 2: I am a small town. I am John Cougar Mellencamp

728
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: and the longest Banana.

729
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, it is time for longest. Now is

730
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 3: who can beat Chicago?

731
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:50,439
Speaker 1: What? Where?

732
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 4: Vermont?

733
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: We're mott so far for the show. The Hols is

734
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: far too.

735
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 5: What.

736
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: No, we love we love Vermont like we hate New Hampshire.

737
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 8: I will ship in general upon New England.

738
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: I will and I'll continue to do it.

739
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 3: I I I'll apologize to you, but I will continue

740
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 3: to shit on New England in general.

741
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 8: Okay, but most of the shitting will occur on New Hampshire.

742
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: Vermont. Where are you from? Washington, d C. That's pretty

743
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 1: close to Vermont.

744
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 8: Wait, so here's the thing. We always have to specify.

745
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,919
Speaker 3: This isn't just where you're from, like where you grew

746
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 3: up and now you live in Portland, or you just

747
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 3: happen to be in Portland.

748
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 8: This is if you came for the show specifically Kentucky.

749
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 1: Okay, I think I think we have multiple longest binanias.

750
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: I know we had three buttons we could do. We

751
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 2: could sign those headshots. Yeah, okay, let's do DC.

752
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 1: Vermont. What what alchemy? Alchemy? It's real. We can turn

753
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: stones into gold. That's like a Portland thing. I bet

754
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 1: there's so many in Portland. It's like I could do it.

755
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: I got hang on the alchemical arts. Yeah, alchemy. Uh

756
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: what are you saying?

757
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 5: What?

758
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:22,439
Speaker 1: Brazil? Brazil? If you really came from Brazil, we owe

759
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 1: you money. Yeah, we we're gonna venmo you twenty five dollars.

760
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: We really do.

761
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 5: We are.

762
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 1: Sorry, Brazil's dope. That's so cool, Okay, I just don't

763
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 1: know how to believe anyone.

764
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 2: We're gonna sign all through these headshots. Fuck New Hampshire, DC, Vermont. Man,

765
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 2: this is backfiring in a huge way.

766
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 1: We've never ever had longest Banana back like this. It's

767
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: really falling apart.

768
00:40:57,200 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, DC, get down here, Kentucky get down here.

769
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 3: Oh wait, Vermont's farther away. Fuck Vermont, get down here.

770
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 3: Just to show that we don't hate all of.

771
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:17,919
Speaker 1: New England to get a fuck New hamp what's your name?

772
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 8: Angela?

773
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 1: Give it up? Brandele? Everybody, thank you, we're calling it

774
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 1: New hamp I don't have the time New hamp what's

775
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 1: your name? Grace? Give it up for Grace, everybody.

776
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,919
Speaker 3: It's so funny that I'm handing out headshots.

777
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, nobody wants to paper shredder.

778
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: That.

779
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:50,800
Speaker 1: This one just says New Hampshire. You forgot the fuck

780
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 1: get into it, Scotta. You you want me to go? Yeah?

781
00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 1: I did this one specifically for you. Yes, Katrina Frang

782
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 1: since time out. Oh we haven't done Banana's confession. Oh shit,

783
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 1: she's gone. I love that get go get them attitude.

784
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 2: I mean, we didn't even ask a woman ran out

785
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 2: of here with either her her confession's so dirty.

786
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,479
Speaker 1: She's like, I'm out. She's like, tip big tonight. Guys.

787
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 2: We always say this our shows, and all the staff

788
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 2: is always like your fans are the best, right, Yes,

789
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 2: we really do so tip huge if you have a job,

790
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 2: Tip huge.

791
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 1: If you don't come on.

792
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, the one, first one I opened, first one I opened.

793
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 1: I love you, Scottie. There we go. You can do better.

794
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 2: I dreamt about getting a banana tattoo three days ago.

795
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 1: I'll get it if you pay for it. Who is this?

796
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 1: I'll do it. I'll pay for it. What done? Hey

797
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 1: for a tattoo? Done? What's your name? Yeah? Do you

798
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: follow us on Instagram? Okay? Oh well so you guys,

799
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 1: you're you're thinking about getting you to the podcast.

800
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 3: You're getting a general We're going it feels like a

801
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 3: general banana tattoo.

802
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 1: I'll still pay for it. We got you, yeah, d

803
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,720
Speaker 1: m me, we'll do it. It has to say Banana's

804
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: podcast with Curtains cuttie and this is enough. Can you

805
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: get that out?

806
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 8: There was a there was a really creepy guy trying

807
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 8: to get my attention at the gym.

808
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 5: So I.

809
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 3: So I slowly Pete in the jacuzzie ooh, nice slowly

810
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:47,439
Speaker 3: is underlined. I have no idea how you slowly pee,

811
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:52,800
Speaker 3: and I don't know why it makes it worse. I

812
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 3: know it's gross, but so is he.

813
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:55,439
Speaker 1: XO XO.

814
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 2: You're absolved, You're absolved. I shipped my pants on the

815
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 2: school bus. I had stunk up the entire bus, but

816
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 2: I blamed it on the kid next to me. He

817
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 2: never lived it down. You know what, You're absolved. He

818
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 2: should have had a good excuse. He should have put

819
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 2: on his shorts and been like, it wasn't me.

820
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 3: I skipped my best friend of twenty years engagement to

821
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 3: watch the Banana Boys tonight.

822
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:21,800
Speaker 5: Nice.

823
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: Who cares? Wow? Who cares?

824
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 2: I bought a banana suit. I brought a banana suit

825
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 2: with me, but I'm too scared to wear it. These

826
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 2: are your people, these are your people.

827
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: Oh you did do it? Oh you wrong? You did?

828
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 1: You're an artist though, right, you're an artist or something. Yeah,

829
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:44,800
Speaker 1: so you're be belong in that.

830
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 3: You're sitting next to Melana Joyce Nuts.

831
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: Probably pretty pretty good.

832
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 2: So I'm hanging out, you know, drinking, getting Melina Joycey nuts.

833
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 3: To embarrass my daughter Tonight, Happy thirtieth to a wonderful daughter, Emelia.

834
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 2: This person signed this, but I'm not gonna say their

835
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 2: name because anonymous is better. I currently have a raging

836
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 2: yeast and sinus infection, but nothing would keep me from

837
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 2: coming tonight. Been in as xoxo. Not saying your name,

838
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,240
Speaker 2: you freak. Also, who cares they happen?

839
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 4: I was?

840
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 3: I was a naive fifth grader when I went through

841
00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 3: the DARE program. I took the term smoking grass. Literally

842
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 3: went home, rolled up some lawn into a piece of

843
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 3: notebook paper and smoked it. I didn't get the appeal,

844
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 3: so I could have started to call it it at

845
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:41,919
Speaker 3: one point in my life.

846
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: You could have what started a cult.

847
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm no Keith Ranieri. Don't get me wrong. I

848
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 2: don't part my hair down the middle. I don't play volleyball.

849
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 2: But in third grade I convinced people remember the big

850
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: packs of Crayola crayons the city, like the sixty fourth

851
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 2: to the one twenty eighth.

852
00:45:58,480 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 1: Where you could sharpen them on the back.

853
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 2: I convinced like four or five people that if you

854
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 2: took the shredding the part of the crayons and put

855
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 2: it on your head, you could run faster, and the

856
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 2: way I proved this was I would let them beat

857
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 2: me in a foot race. Then I would put it

858
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 2: on my head and they just smoke them. And I

859
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 2: had like four or five people doing it to this girl.

860
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 2: Emmy Hannon, an old friend of mine, was like, my

861
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 2: brother told me that's not real, and I was like, yeah,

862
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 2: that's pretty funny.

863
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: Got her. Hey, Emmy, this is amazing. Here it is.

864
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 3: I had a coworker who was horrible to everyone. One

865
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 3: day after.

866
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 1: Shift, I shit in his shoe.

867
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 3: He never met nipper was nice to everyone after that.

868
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 3: I don't even understand why his shoes were off. Did

869
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 3: you work at a bounce house?

870
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 1: I mean, hilarious. That is so funny.

871
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 2: Oh, here's a goodie. One time I fucked a dude

872
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 2: who was seventy two. I was a young lesbian. That's

873
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 2: a great one. Also good for you. See what's out there, experiment.

874
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,359
Speaker 2: You gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find

875
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 2: a princess. Absolutely fucking old dude and then be an

876
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 2: old lesbian.

877
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: That's how you live.

878
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 5: Shit.

879
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:33,800
Speaker 1: I wish I was a young lesbian. You kidding me? Jesus,

880
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 1: what a fun ride.

881
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 3: Here's a here's at yours. Here's one I made out

882
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 3: with my sister's husband. You are absolved.

883
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:50,919
Speaker 1: Who cares? He sucks? I mean, who cares? Guys. I'll

884
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: be honest with you. This is uh.

885
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 3: This is the most readable number of yeah nightmare. Usually

886
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 3: it's like nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. This is

887
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 3: like almost everyone. So I don't even know if we're

888
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 3: gonna get able to get to all of a couple more.

889
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 3: This one is so good, but I just remember there's

890
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:21,759
Speaker 3: an eleven year old. All right, I'll censor it.

891
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: Ears to the listeners at Hume who were like, this

892
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 2: show is insane. People listening to this in Australia and Hawaiian,

893
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 2: they're like, what.

894
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: Happened in Portland? Here's my censored version.

895
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:48,240
Speaker 3: I biblically knew two people in the same day. That's fine,

896
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 3: the first one that's exciting.

897
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:51,760
Speaker 1: The first one.

898
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:54,920
Speaker 8: Diddle is doodle in me and.

899
00:48:56,800 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 1: I forgot to tell the next one. And definitely.

900
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 8: We went to lunch there.

901
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 1: Sure some people pay extra for that. No problem.

902
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:16,839
Speaker 2: Life is beautiful, she says, oops, oh here, I got

903
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 2: one more because it does remind me of a story.

904
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: This is fuck California. I mean, we do live in California.

905
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:25,759
Speaker 1: But okay, well, yeah, we're not from there. We won't

906
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: die there. We won't die there.

907
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 2: No, we're gonna come here because there's water here. Yeah,

908
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:31,320
Speaker 2: we're gonna.

909
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:35,320
Speaker 1: Move to Yahats. I'll be in Yahts. Yeah. With the

910
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: mayor who walks his goose down the street.

911
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,839
Speaker 2: Really yeah, we talked around the pod way long time ago.

912
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 2: But remember I was like, there's a guy walking goose.

913
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 2: They're like, that's the mayor. One time I was kissing

914
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:49,760
Speaker 2: my boyfriend and sitting on his lap and I farted

915
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 2: on him.

916
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: Now he's my fiance and here with me tonight. I

917
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 1: love you, Nick. Yeah, and I that's beautiful. Honestly, that's beautiful.

918
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: I won't go and graft detail. But one time I

919
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:05,240
Speaker 1: was having a sexual intercourse.

920
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 2: With something, with somebody someone biblically Yep, one time I

921
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 2: was knowing somebody biblically.

922
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 1: Why is it biblically? What part of the Bible is

923
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:16,280
Speaker 1: all about?

924
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 2: Fucking Yeah, ez, we're in the dragon, all of it,

925
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 2: the Old Testament.

926
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 1: This Testament's going to bod fucking over humanity.

927
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:31,320
Speaker 2: And I accidentally kissed my own arm. What Yeah, it

928
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 2: was the throes of how well, Yes, we were we

929
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 2: were wrapped up tight. Yeah, and uh, I think I

930
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 2: was trying to kiss a shoulder or something and then

931
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 2: I felt my own lips on my own arm and it.

932
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: Haunts me to this day. Uh, she didn't notice.

933
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 3: She might have heard the sound, of course she didn't notice. Yeah,

934
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 3: there was no she wasn't involved.

935
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,760
Speaker 1: When you hear the smooth when you hear the smooch

936
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: sound and you don't not cool? Do you want to

937
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: have sex with a guy that's just randomly going like, wait,

938
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: what smoochers? Smoochers?

939
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 2: So that's a good name for a band, Smoocher Smoochers.

940
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 2: The Smoochers is playing tonight at eleven thirty. Hey, come

941
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 2: on back, all right, I picked this one for you.

942
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 2: Let's get back into it.

943
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 1: Thank you. Those are the best confessions we've ever had.

944
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: You brought up. Katrina Frang sent this in. Katina, thank you,

945
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 1: Thank you so deeply.

946
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 2: USA today, curty b USA today, as I call it

947
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 2: ousat oday and nobody else does.

948
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:53,320
Speaker 1: And you gotta wonder why balcony, how you doing? Falcony

949
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 1: is cool? Falcony is cool? Did you guys choose to

950
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 1: sit up there?

951
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 8: Yeah, because it's general admission, right.

952
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 1: I like that.

953
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:06,800
Speaker 2: I like that I once sat in the balcony in

954
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:09,360
Speaker 2: New York City with Kristin shal because you wanted to

955
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,280
Speaker 2: see three hundred, because you wanted to see the dudes

956
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 2: with abs.

957
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:17,720
Speaker 1: Really absolutely so funny. True. I give me this story.

958
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 1: This was written by Andrew two first names Joseph. I

959
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:24,919
Speaker 1: edited that myself.

960
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 2: Australian paraglider lands and is immediately punched in the face

961
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 2: by a kangaroo.

962
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 8: I'm guessing the whole story is in the title.

963
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 2: Buddy boy, are you right? When it comes to wildlife?

964
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:48,840
Speaker 2: Says Andrew to first names Joseph, best in the business?

965
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: Oh he is?

966
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 5: He?

967
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 1: I blew it. He really is that good? He deserves this.

968
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:00,360
Speaker 1: It's andre. This is but on it.

969
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 8: It says but it does say butt. I just noticed

970
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 8: this says butt on it.

971
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 1: Pretty cool.

972
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 2: Honestly, if you're twenty one, you eat ass. That's what

973
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 2: I've been told by the Internet. Australian paraglider lands and

974
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 2: immediately gets punched in the face by a kangaroo. When

975
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 2: it comes to wildlife, danger seems to lurk around every

976
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 2: corner in Australia.

977
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Everybody said it.

978
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 2: Everybody's talking about this. There's venomous snakes, huge spiders, and

979
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 2: coasts loaded with great white sharks.

980
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:37,279
Speaker 3: This opening sentence is like, a ugh, so prototypical. Yes,

981
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 3: college crazy. Yeah, it's just like bla blah blah blah.

982
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: Animals. We've all seen them.

983
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 3: They have legs and they breathe like us, but they

984
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 3: also do something crazy.

985
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 8: Here's the information. Just give us the information.

986
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 2: But you can also have to watch out for those kangaroos.

987
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 2: Don't let their cuteness fool you too long. Kangaroos can

988
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 2: he quite mean? Australian paraglider John here.

989
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 1: It is, Here you go. Here's the story. Here's the story.

990
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: This is the gist.

991
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 2: Australian paraglider Jonathan Bishop was landing I can't pronounce any

992
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 2: of these things last week and a pair of kangaroos

993
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 2: approached him.

994
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 1: A pair Bishop. Oh, there's a video. It's fantastic. He

995
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:23,879
Speaker 1: it's so good.

996
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 2: Bishop wasn't even looking to greet the kangaroos. Really, a

997
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 2: guy paragliding wasn't looking to talk to kangaroos.

998
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 1: Interesting, I don't know. He thought they'd be friendly. They

999
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 1: were not.

1000
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 2: That's how you write a sentence, ladies and gentlemen, I

1001
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 2: guess karagliding.

1002
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 3: Paraglidings where you're in a parachute, but then you have

1003
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:47,400
Speaker 3: a fan attached to you.

1004
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, you like run off a cliff and you do

1005
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: this thing for a long time. Then you get bored.

1006
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 1: But it's like, yeah, you realize she broke up with

1007
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: you for the right reason.

1008
00:54:56,719 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 2: Let's land it this hobby socks, Let's land it also,

1009
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,919
Speaker 2: Kurt and I saw a young woman doing a thing

1010
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 2: at the airport today.

1011
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I've never seen this before.

1012
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 3: It was what looked like so you guys know, like

1013
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 3: fire twirling, so you have like devil or like it's

1014
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 3: the fire twirling that has like the it's like two

1015
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 3: balls of fire.

1016
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 1: What's it called foiling? I mean the I mean boying.

1017
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 1: What you guys are yelling a nothing word at us?

1018
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 8: B o I p o II. It's okay, poying, poying, ohoying.

1019
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: But this was poying.

1020
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 3: I love it, but with uh like almost like a

1021
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 3: Victorian h like a fan fan.

1022
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, plastic.

1023
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 3: It was like a very intricate fan that was like

1024
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 3: this big and but she was just doing it at

1025
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 3: the airport.

1026
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:00,120
Speaker 1: Where the lift pick up us. We were waiting for

1027
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:00,760
Speaker 1: our list.

1028
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 3: And we laided for our lift for a while. I

1029
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 3: don't think she ordered a lift. I thought she was

1030
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 3: at the lift pick up.

1031
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,359
Speaker 1: She was the lift. She's just doing it in her

1032
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,720
Speaker 1: own life anyway. Yeah, it was very We were like okay,

1033
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 1: and then she dropped one. We got in the car

1034
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,320
Speaker 1: and we laughed. It was fine. That's how it happens.

1035
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 7: Uh.

1036
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 1: He thought they'd be friendly. They were not.

1037
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 2: I guess kangaroos don't like being called skip because Bishop

1038
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:28,680
Speaker 2: was subsequently attacked upon landing. Bishop got punched twice in

1039
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,479
Speaker 2: the face by the kangaroo before the pair hopped away.

1040
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:36,799
Speaker 2: It is horrifying. Curdiebe oh wow quote. I had been

1041
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 2: pairguiding across country for two hours near Canberra, Canberra, yep, Canberra,

1042
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 2: and had reached a position kurtson a lot of.

1043
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:50,560
Speaker 1: Time in Australia. Reached a position where I had to land.

1044
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 1: It was last cleared valley where I could land safety.

1045
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 2: As I did, I landed over the next ridge, there

1046
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:57,720
Speaker 2: was only wilderness and trees.

1047
00:56:57,960 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 1: This guy's a poet.

1048
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:01,800
Speaker 2: I was concentrating on the landing and didn't notice the

1049
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 2: kangaroos until they landed a huge mistake. Guys, if you're paragliding,

1050
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:10,879
Speaker 2: look out for kangaroos always, absolutely, even off of Mount Hood,

1051
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:12,560
Speaker 2: just look for kangaroos.

1052
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,760
Speaker 1: Honestly, look for kanaros.

1053
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,560
Speaker 2: I didn't notice the kangaroos until after I landed, as

1054
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 2: it ran towards me. I thought I was being friendly,

1055
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,880
Speaker 2: so I said to it, hey, what's up. Skip It

1056
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 2: then attacked me twice before hopping away.

1057
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 1: So there you go. It is.

1058
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 3: You know what this is because I was talking with

1059
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 3: Scotty about this the other day on our car ride

1060
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 3: from Seattle to Vancouver.

1061
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 1: Well, you have fun that a pitch for him, for anyone.

1062
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 1: Anyone can have this. I'm gonna write it.

1063
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 3: You're gonna write it. Hell yeah, dog, it's such a

1064
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 3: good idea. Is a horror movie yep, where a kangaroo

1065
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 3: is the enemy.

1066
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 1: Yep, takes over our town muscular.

1067
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 3: Have you ever seen the videos where they're standing up

1068
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 3: and just punching a window.

1069
00:57:58,480 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 4: It is fucking crazy.

1070
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 3: It's like a dog got pecks and huge arms and

1071
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 3: then stood up and looked like a like a man.

1072
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 1: It was so confusing.

1073
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, they just stand outside the window. There's the one

1074
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:13,880
Speaker 2: video where it's just standing outside. It's like, shall we

1075
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 2: just like stirring so many it's a notemeal. I'm like,

1076
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 2: not today, boss. Yeah, I think it should be called rude.

1077
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 1: Oh I'm happy. Okay.

1078
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 2: So as I tell this story, if you've heard this

1079
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:39,040
Speaker 2: story before, just yell your own name, okay, because he says.

1080
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 1: What's up, skipper and they gets punched in the face. Okay.

1081
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 2: So when I was in college, I went to UMass.

1082
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 2: I had a very good friend named Jacob Jones. His

1083
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 2: nickname was Skip. I love Skippy, and he had he

1084
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 2: was Boston. He was from New Bedford and his friends

1085
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 2: went to Australia. New Bedford and they went to Australia. Okay,

1086
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:55,120
Speaker 2: there you go.

1087
00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 1: And I met his friends and I talked about on

1088
00:58:59,560 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 1: the podcast.

1089
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 2: Once one of his friends would get naked and wear

1090
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 2: a World War two helmet and do push ups at parties.

1091
00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 2: And he was the one that smoked a cigarette with

1092
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 2: his penis and said, hey, Mitt Romney, I smoked cigarettes.

1093
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. So that guy was there and they.

1094
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 8: That was a story told on this podcast that you

1095
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:17,920
Speaker 8: guys are familiar with.

1096
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: And I have never I have no memory of he

1097
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:25,920
Speaker 1: would get naked at parties. Half the party would leave.

1098
00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 2: Skip would yell, Sergeant Major, get down and get me

1099
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 2: twenty and he would start doing push ups.

1100
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:32,320
Speaker 1: It was great.

1101
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 2: It was as fun as you can have at a party.

1102
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes you would smoke cigarettes with his penis.

1103
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 1: Ah, I don't know, I don't know. He would exhale.

1104
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:46,920
Speaker 2: And he would say, hey, Mitt Romney, who is the

1105
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,440
Speaker 2: then governor of Massachusetts.

1106
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 1: I smoke cigarettes. So I think he's on the right side.

1107
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 1: It's the funniest person. He's the funniest person ever. The

1108
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 1: first part you're like, not the funniest person ever with

1109
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 1: a bummer, and then the second person is like, I'm

1110
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 1: like that, Yeah, it's a full act. It's got an end.

1111
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 2: But that guy was like, we went to Australia. We

1112
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 2: were driving a rental car. We hit a kangaroo.

1113
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: Sounds sad to us.

1114
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 2: Okay, I haven't heard anybody yelled their own name yet.

1115
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 1: Okay. He there were three Boston dudes. They get out,

1116
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:19,640
Speaker 1: they killed this kangaroo.

1117
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 2: They put a Boston Celtics jersey on it, jacket, satin jacket,

1118
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:30,920
Speaker 2: they put sunglasses on it, and they put a cigarette

1119
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 2: in its mouth and then the kangaroo got back up

1120
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 2: and hopped away, wearing a Boston Celknick's jacket, smoking a

1121
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 2: cigarette and wearing glass. Yeah, you've heard this story.

1122
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 1: I have heard this story.

1123
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:54,200
Speaker 2: So I've told this story for twenty years. Before this show,

1124
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 2: I knew it was gonna do the story. I texted Skip,

1125
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,240
Speaker 2: I was like, was that true? He goes, No, that's

1126
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 2: just some urban legend. I found out later that wasn't true.

1127
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 1: It is a very.

1128
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 2: Popular ur urban legend from like two thousand ish. But yeah,

1129
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 2: they but I have been going around being like, you

1130
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:13,920
Speaker 2: guys want your story, and it's about a dead kangaroo

1131
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:16,400
Speaker 2: comes back to life wearing a Celtics jersey and then

1132
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 2: just hops out.

1133
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 1: And that's why the movie Kangaroo Jack was made.

1134
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 2: Okay, right, I'm glad some of you have heard this

1135
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 2: because he was like, no, it's an urban legend, and

1136
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 2: I looked it up.

1137
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 1: It is a huge urban legend. How I love it?

1138
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: Not true at all. I love it. Wish it what

1139
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,280
Speaker 1: I know? Me too, wish it what me too.

1140
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 3: It does remind me because Boston and Philly I feel

1141
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 3: like share a similar bravado.

1142
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 1: There was this hitch.

1143
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:43,880
Speaker 3: Hiking robot Oh yeah, do you guys know about this

1144
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:48,040
Speaker 3: hitchhiking robot? Oh god, So it was like it essentially

1145
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 3: like a bucket with arms and legs that was like

1146
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 3: a hitchbot, and it was like pick me up and

1147
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 3: he would people would literally pick him up and then

1148
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,120
Speaker 3: drop him off on the side of the road and

1149
01:01:56,200 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 3: then another car would come and pick him up. And

1150
01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 3: he made it somewhere from like I think it was

1151
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:02,439
Speaker 3: from Canada, so you know, it sounds like a Canadian idea.

1152
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 3: And it was like dope made it from like Vancouver

1153
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 3: all the way to Philly and then it.

1154
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 1: Was just ripped apart in Philly.

1155
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:11,640
Speaker 3: Out of it like it was in Philly for less

1156
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,400
Speaker 3: than sixteen hours and they just beat the shit out.

1157
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: They just found it broken on the side of Yeah,

1158
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 1: they did hitchbot three thousand or whatever. Poor guy. How

1159
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:22,800
Speaker 1: much we got left, Curdie b.

1160
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 3: All right, this is the last story because we got

1161
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:27,080
Speaker 3: to wrap this puppy out and then we'll do these.

1162
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 1: Then we got to meet you guys. You guys, we're

1163
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:33,120
Speaker 1: big into hangs. Also, there's a barneck story thing.

1164
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:36,480
Speaker 3: I don't know, must have something all right here it

1165
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 3: does Houston, we have a problem Yep, Jeff Coons is

1166
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 3: sending sculptures to the Moon.

1167
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 1: That is a problem. He doesn't even make his own stuff,

1168
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 1: does he not? That's right, he doesn't. All right, here

1169
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,280
Speaker 1: it is. I lived in New York.

1170
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 8: This was Oh, this is interesting. This is on a

1171
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:55,880
Speaker 8: website called It's nice.

1172
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,440
Speaker 1: That right and.

1173
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 3: Honestly sure, And it doesn't say bye. It's not a byeline.

1174
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:06,040
Speaker 3: It says words. Liz Gorney.

1175
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:11,360
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't know how I feel about that. Yeah,

1176
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: we're torn. We're torn.

1177
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 3: They are words. But I think there's a little bit

1178
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 3: more than that. It's nice that Okay, here it is.

1179
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:20,080
Speaker 3: This year, Jeff Coons will take a step into two

1180
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:22,439
Speaker 3: arenas for the first time, the Metaverse and the Moon.

1181
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:22,919
Speaker 1: Cool.

1182
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:24,800
Speaker 3: The artist has announced that he will be sending one

1183
01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:28,360
Speaker 3: hundred and twenty five miniature moon sculptures into space eats

1184
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 3: approximately one inch in diameter, nice, which will remain on

1185
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,440
Speaker 3: display on the Moon.

1186
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:37,400
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, this is cool. I like this.

1187
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:41,640
Speaker 3: The artworks aims to explore the imagination and technological innovation

1188
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 3: of the human race, explains with these, but whether or

1189
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 3: not that they will serve as a giantly for mankind

1190
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:47,200
Speaker 3: remains to be seen.

1191
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 1: True. Thank you Liz.

1192
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:51,600
Speaker 3: Here it is thanks for the words, Liz, marking fifty

1193
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:54,000
Speaker 3: years since America's last crew trip to the Moon. The

1194
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 3: sculptures will lift off from Pad thirty nine a Kennedy

1195
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,760
Speaker 3: Space Center later this year and take their landing on

1196
01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:04,960
Speaker 3: an intuitive machines Novasey Lunar Lander in a fully autonomous mission.

1197
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 3: The one hundred and twenty five minuture Moon sculptures each

1198
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 3: depicting one of the one hundred and twenty five unique

1199
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:11,720
Speaker 3: phases of the moon.

1200
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 1: By the way, full moon tonight and also so boring,

1201
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 1: what is this sculpture that sucks? Ass? Put something funny

1202
01:04:20,600 --> 01:04:23,920
Speaker 1: up there? I know, rat it sucks. Everybody would look

1203
01:04:23,960 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 1: up if it was cool, be like, ah, this is funny.

1204
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:26,760
Speaker 1: Look it does a thing.

1205
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 3: And also it's like if you think about it, like

1206
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 3: if the Moon sent art.

1207
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 1: To us all right, thinking about it all the time

1208
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:35,520
Speaker 1: because it's just.

1209
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:37,919
Speaker 3: The one hundred and twenty five unique phases of the moon.

1210
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 3: And then the Moon sent us like this is the Earth,

1211
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:42,840
Speaker 3: and it's like we.

1212
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 1: Know that we live here, so we also have better

1213
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 1: access to everything here than you do. Yes, give us

1214
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:52,440
Speaker 1: something from where.

1215
01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 3: You are you ask wholing new the Moon's just like

1216
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:59,160
Speaker 3: I know, yeah, it's me essentially setting one hundred and

1217
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:04,920
Speaker 3: twenty five self to the moon. Yes, so dorky, the

1218
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:07,600
Speaker 3: novasey lunar Lando will bring the sculptures to the Moon

1219
01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 3: as part of a michigrring NASA payloads. It's called Jeff

1220
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 3: Coon's Moonfaces. And so at this point, honestly, I do

1221
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:19,040
Speaker 3: think this is cool, like the set, I'm back into it.

1222
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 3: And then of course he's releasing NFTs of them, and

1223
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 3: that's where he loses.

1224
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, fuck jof Jeff Coons NFT.

1225
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:40,160
Speaker 2: No fucking thanks Jeff Coons, You're getting the ring fingerboss NFTs.

1226
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:46,120
Speaker 3: Not for Tommy, No, but it reminded me of because

1227
01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:48,440
Speaker 3: this does that like we have been trying to do

1228
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:52,720
Speaker 3: big jokes in strange spaces for a long time.

1229
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:53,520
Speaker 1: Very true.

1230
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 3: You know, Sky wrote how do I Land in the sky.

1231
01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 3: We've been trying to like do other things in that vein.

1232
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:04,360
Speaker 3: You know, put brought a giant butt across America.

1233
01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:09,200
Speaker 1: Yes, it was beautiful, fourteen feet by nine feet. It's

1234
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:10,479
Speaker 1: gorgeous butt, the love butt.

1235
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 3: And so I am judis I'm a little jealous of

1236
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 3: being able to have the first like thing on the moon,

1237
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:18,920
Speaker 3: and it's a bummer that it's not a joke, but

1238
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:22,960
Speaker 3: would be so fun put on the moon. But imagine

1239
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:27,240
Speaker 3: a coon's butt in that like that mylar kind of

1240
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:30,760
Speaker 3: like metal, like bright metal, but that you could like get.

1241
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 1: I'm laughing, I'm laughing. I'm laughing out loud.

1242
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 3: I would buy a telescope for my daughter to look

1243
01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:39,360
Speaker 3: at the butt on the moon.

1244
01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 8: It should be like, are you kidding me? Yes, I'm

1245
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:43,720
Speaker 8: going to be a fucking astronaut.

1246
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 1: Now, all right, there's a butt on the moon. There's

1247
01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:50,680
Speaker 1: a butt on the moon. Yeah, simple, it's mooning us.

1248
01:06:50,960 --> 01:06:53,919
Speaker 1: It's it's right there.

1249
01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 3: Wouldn't you put there's only one phase of the moon

1250
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:00,720
Speaker 3: in this idea?

1251
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:02,120
Speaker 1: What didn't you do?

1252
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:05,840
Speaker 3: So anyway, Charlie, the whole point of this is to

1253
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 3: say this what I want us to do, sir, is

1254
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 3: I want us to start adopting highways.

1255
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:13,560
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay.

1256
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 3: So when you're just driving along some weird stretch of highway,

1257
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:22,520
Speaker 3: it just says this highway adopted by bananas. Okay, So

1258
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:25,160
Speaker 3: people who don't know the podcast will be like, what

1259
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 3: the fuck is happening? Did bananas as a fruit decide

1260
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 3: to clean.

1261
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,400
Speaker 1: Up this Highway. I'm all in.

1262
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:33,880
Speaker 3: I love this and people who know the podcast will

1263
01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:38,480
Speaker 3: be like fucking right on, So I'm saying it here.

1264
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:43,440
Speaker 3: If anyone has nose of a small that's not expensive

1265
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:46,600
Speaker 3: to keep clean, we would.

1266
01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 1: Like to adopt it. Please get in touch and say

1267
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:54,880
Speaker 1: absolutely DMS. Thank you so much. Guys.

1268
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:58,479
Speaker 4: This has been Bananas.

1269
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:17,320
Speaker 1: On three one two three. Bananas is an exactly right

1270
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:20,519
Speaker 1: media production. Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

1271
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:24,240
Speaker 2: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

1272
01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:27,840
Speaker 8: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard, and.

1273
01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:32,000
Speaker 2: Our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart.

1274
01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:34,920
Speaker 1: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.

1275
01:08:35,439 --> 01:08:38,160
Speaker 2: You can listen, subscribe, and leave us reviews for Bananas

1276
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:41,639
Speaker 2: on Amazon Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

1277
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:43,639
Speaker 2: quality podcast and don't forget.

1278
01:08:43,720 --> 01:08:46,920
Speaker 3: You can hear every episode one week early and ad free,

1279
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:50,519
Speaker 3: plus bonus episodes by subscribing to Wondery Plus in the

1280
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 3: Wondery app