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Speaker 1: Hi, Good morning, Katherine, Hello morning. Does everybody want to

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Speaker 1: hear me sing? I don't think so. But I have

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Speaker 1: learned how to dance a little bit. What I've learned

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Speaker 1: is to just side step to the beat, like just

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Speaker 1: a two steps. I can do that. So I'm going

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Speaker 1: to do that just for everything, and I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to try to get anything more complicated than that. You

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Speaker 1: know what, Chelsea, we had. I just sorry, Katherine. I

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Speaker 1: just want everyone to know that I'm drinking room temperature

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Speaker 1: water right now. It's actually got a little bit of

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Speaker 1: a coolness to it, so it's palatable. But this is

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Speaker 1: a real tough bill for me to swallow. She does

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Speaker 1: not like the water. I left my thermis in my car.

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Speaker 1: I love my thermiss. By the way, shout out to Welly.

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Speaker 1: They make the best thermiss. I could put ice in

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Speaker 1: my Welly bottle and it's ice three days later. Yes,

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Speaker 1: can I tell you something? I have made yogurt in

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Speaker 1: my Welly bottle before you know what, Katherine, this is

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Speaker 1: not something I want to hear about. I says, right up,

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Speaker 1: I'm surprised you did say cottage cheese. I have made

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Speaker 1: my own cheese. Actually, of you, I mean fucking Brad

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Speaker 1: your way to bury the lead. Being married to Catherine,

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Speaker 1: She's up to no good. I love fermented foods. I

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Speaker 1: had a military death on one of my planes the

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Speaker 1: other day and we stopped and they were transporting a

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Speaker 1: military bottle body and there were those a whole ceremony

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Speaker 1: outside the plane with like the military and their family,

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Speaker 1: which was sad because they were all crying, but it

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Speaker 1: was really sweet to see the how they do that.

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, wait, I guess the airports aren't

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Speaker 1: that fucked up if they can swing this, like you

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Speaker 1: know what. I mean that releas had some decorum and

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Speaker 1: some respect because I don't know what's happening with flights lately,

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Speaker 1: but something is way hole. One of my girlfriends got

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Speaker 1: stuck at Burbank Airport for like all of Christmas Day.

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Speaker 1: Everyone did canceled all their flights. I mean, yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: been pretty brutal the travel situation. But I guess I

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Speaker 1: have to tell you, Chelsea, we have not had a

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Speaker 1: question in a long time that's had as much totally

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Speaker 1: varied feedback as Jesse from a fore weeks ago. She

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Speaker 1: called in and remember we talked to her like all

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Speaker 1: like the entire episode with Brooke Shields about her in

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Speaker 1: laws yelling at her on the rafting trip, and then

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Speaker 1: we kind of got We discovered at the call she

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Speaker 1: seemed to be she needed to do some work. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we discovered that early on, but we were trying to

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Speaker 1: be respectful before, at least I was before I told her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so with the dishwashing. But we had people emailing in

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Speaker 1: being like, go get her girls, she did wrong. Other

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Speaker 1: people being like, no, it was totally her in law's

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Speaker 1: fault for screaming at her, and I just thought it

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Speaker 1: was really interesting. I don't know if you've gotten damns

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Speaker 1: about this, but I've gotten a lot of I haven't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's interesting, Yeah, I'm sure. Well, everybody's very relatable situation, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's tough within laws. I think nobody doesn't get married.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to deal with that another reason to

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Speaker 1: another perk to not being married. I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: her family's got some ship to work out too, because

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Speaker 1: if somebody screaming at you about dishes two years later

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Speaker 1: they wanted something to be mad at you about, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. I think that's a really kind

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Speaker 1: of icky thing to do. If you're at someone's house

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Speaker 1: and you make a habit of nobody's supposed to ask

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Speaker 1: you to help at someone else's house. Like, it's not

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Speaker 1: the onus is not on them, jump in. You gotta

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Speaker 1: even I do it, and not even I, because like

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Speaker 1: I'm someone special, even I, who doesn't know how to

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Speaker 1: wash dishes, I shouldn't be washing dishes. It's worse when

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Speaker 1: I do it. Yeah, I always just get up and try. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I try to make an effort because it's manners. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty basic. But people were up in arms about

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Speaker 1: jose Well. People were up in arms once when I

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Speaker 1: did some poll about toilet paper whether it should be

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Speaker 1: upside down coming from them or coming from the top

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Speaker 1: or I was on the Drew Barrymore Show and we

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Speaker 1: were doing something and it was the biggest thing. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there were like fifteen thousand comments about people's opinions. And

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Speaker 1: I finally figured out that I prefer because I had

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Speaker 1: never thought about it before, prefer it from the bottom.

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Speaker 1: You do. I don't want it from the top, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you do. Interesting. We're just different in every way, Chelsea. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so so far we have not found one similarity except

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Speaker 1: that we both are on this podcast. That's accurate. That's

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Speaker 1: what we have in common. Well, Chelsea, today we have

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Speaker 1: some really exciting guests. Okay, great, I can't wait. I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to find out who they are today. Where

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Speaker 1: you Yeah, we have my two Canadian mom friends, Cat

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Speaker 1: and Nat. These girls are too hot, fucking messes, and

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to have them on because their besties. And

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Speaker 1: then they tore around well, they tore around America too

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Speaker 1: and Canada and they both have a bunch of children

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Speaker 1: and they talk a lot about motherhood, parenting and I

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Speaker 1: don't know what who journed me on to them, but

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Speaker 1: we're buddies now. They have seven kids between them. That's

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Speaker 1: better than me having them. Are you guys ride sharing? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: We always. She doesn't drives a car and a license,

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Speaker 1: but you won't drive. I don't drive in the highway.

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Speaker 1: Just in the city. Only a few streets the city

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Speaker 1: or the suburb. No, we're in the city. I like

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Speaker 1: the city because it's short streets, lots of lights, like

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Speaker 1: everything is really fast and quick. But if you go

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Speaker 1: to suburbs, you have to take the highway. I don't

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Speaker 1: go there. Okay, this is Cat, I mean, this is sorry,

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Speaker 1: this is Catherine and this is Cat and this is no,

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Speaker 1: well wait you Nat, and that doesn't it doesn't matter. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: basically just called them both cats. We can all three

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Speaker 1: b cat today. When they meet us there say your

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Speaker 1: cat and not even if we're not together, Hi, oh,

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Speaker 1: I love you Cat, and that that's it. So it's literally,

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Speaker 1: it's it's totally fine. I mean, look at us would

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Speaker 1: be confused to I know it is. It is very

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Speaker 1: confusing because you guys do really look a lot alike,

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Speaker 1: but only from hanging out with you. I know that

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Speaker 1: Cat is more of like a busy body and Nat

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Speaker 1: is a little bit lazier. Yeah, not vertically, no, horizontally.

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Speaker 1: They don't want to They went on tour. Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: talk about the jet assist of you guys, so that

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Speaker 1: I want Katherin to be as familiar with me because

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Speaker 1: I don't even remember how I met you too. I

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Speaker 1: just know that we are friends now. But explain to Catherine,

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Speaker 1: explain the genesis of everything that you do do You

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Speaker 1: guys went on tour as mothers. Basically, right, you're talking

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Speaker 1: about motherhood all the time on your Instagram and how

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Speaker 1: nuts it is. First of all, it was a joke.

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Speaker 1: We decided to do a show as a joke because

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Speaker 1: no one invites us anywhere. So we were like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we'll make a party and we are first show you guys.

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Speaker 1: We threw for free gay, free drinks, and free appetizers

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Speaker 1: for everybody. We we we wanted to host a party.

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Speaker 1: We didn't pay for it. We found people to like

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Speaker 1: sponsor it. So we host a party in a theater

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Speaker 1: and then we go out to like go have a

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Speaker 1: cocktail party with everyone, and they mall like, we get mauled.

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Speaker 1: We were like, oh, we were just here to hang

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Speaker 1: out and we couldn't get through the crowd. The security

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Speaker 1: guard basically took us and pulled us back inside. I

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Speaker 1: was like, that's weird. That was weird, Like we just

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Speaker 1: seen an excuse to get away from the seven kids

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Speaker 1: and go and have a party. And for our party,

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Speaker 1: we wanted a DJ, we wanted strippers, who wanted flamingo dancers.

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Speaker 1: We wanted dancing, We want a drink in, we want

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Speaker 1: a champagne. So we just created a party and then

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Speaker 1: started selling tickets to it, and then our agents were like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: if you can sell out like three more theaters, we'll

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Speaker 1: talk about a tour. Okay, just kind of all came together.

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Speaker 1: We had a podcast and I don't know, I wrote

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Speaker 1: a couple of books and then Chelsea once like commented

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Speaker 1: on our Instagram and we died and and the people

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Speaker 1: were Texas. You see the Chelsea with oh my gods

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Speaker 1: that I don't want to actually talk to her like

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I'm like, don't say yes to

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Speaker 1: our podcast because that's pressure. And then because you're like

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Speaker 1: a real you're funny, we're funny and famous, were not

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Speaker 1: us her I closely And then it was more like

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Speaker 1: we're just ship shows and people liked that. And now

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Speaker 1: we've seen Chelsea three times this year. One we came

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Speaker 1: to your show in Toronto to you medicine, soho. Three

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Speaker 1: we're seeing you right now. Where do you guys live?

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Speaker 1: And you live into so so everyone knows they're Canadian

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Speaker 1: but they tore in America. So what was your agent

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Speaker 1: for before you decided to start? How did you even

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Speaker 1: have an agent? She emailed every w and just said,

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Speaker 1: you know what we're heading at and we we need

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Speaker 1: someone to help us with deals and they said yes.

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Speaker 1: It was so weird, but we did. We were doing

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Speaker 1: like we were doing videos. We were doing the mom

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Speaker 1: shoots videos and those were videos in the car just

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Speaker 1: like talking about what it's like to be a mom.

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Speaker 1: We were doing what else do we do? But not

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Speaker 1: glorifying what it's like to be a mom. They tell

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Speaker 1: how hard it is to be a mom, just how

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Speaker 1: demanding it is and all the disappointments, and that you're

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Speaker 1: not gonna win all the time, and there's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a lot of failures and you're gonna feel like a

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Speaker 1: failure and that all of that is fine. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: that's exactly how we felt when we first had our babies.

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Speaker 1: We were just like we thought this was going to

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Speaker 1: be so beautiful and it's actually not, and nobody's talking

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Speaker 1: about it. So let's just start doing some videos. Because

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Speaker 1: a lot of moms were like blogging at the time,

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Speaker 1: and we weren't going to sit down and write, so

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Speaker 1: we did videos. No one was doing videos. Social media

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Speaker 1: wasn't really a thing. And then everything just came at

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Speaker 1: the same time. Like we had been doing live streaming

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Speaker 1: through you do in the Facebook Live games, so we

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Speaker 1: turned it to Facebook Live. It's been a lot of

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Speaker 1: like chance and opportunity and saying yes, you know, we

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Speaker 1: were We went to a conference that we had really

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Speaker 1: no idea. We just kind of decided to go. And

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Speaker 1: the Today Show was there and the two producers they

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Speaker 1: found us walking in the hallway and they asked us

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Speaker 1: a question and then they were like, wait, will you

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Speaker 1: two come with us here? Yeah? Sure, and then we

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Speaker 1: just went with them. And then it's actually been a

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Speaker 1: lot of women who because we really are naive and

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Speaker 1: in this world of what we've been doing, and it's

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Speaker 1: really been women like you, Chelsea and like the Today's Show,

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Speaker 1: and people have just said like yes, and they've they've

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Speaker 1: just helped us. And you know, when you open a door,

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Speaker 1: like even when you comment, that's what people see and

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh, she's looking at them. That means that

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Speaker 1: they're worthy of me looking at them. Unfortunately, it's sort

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Speaker 1: of the way it looks. And even when you don't

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Speaker 1: think you're opening doors, kindness goes so far and you,

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Speaker 1: you personally have opened a ton of doors for us,

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Speaker 1: and we know people say yes because you've said yes.

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Speaker 1: So I just think, you know, I see like Amy

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Speaker 1: Schumern now comments and bows us, and I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 1: that that's probably because she saw you. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean that you did so that she kind of

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Speaker 1: took notice enough. I just think a lot of women

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Speaker 1: have been so impactful in ways they don't know for us,

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Speaker 1: because it's really a lot of yeses. That's all we've

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Speaker 1: really done and stumbled and failed and gotten up, and

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Speaker 1: some shows are do shit and terrible and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's not my demo. But you can't let that hurt

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Speaker 1: your ego because we don't knock it out of every city.

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Speaker 1: But we figure out, we regroup, and we go back

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Speaker 1: to the place. You know what I mean. It's always

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Speaker 1: reverse correct, reverse crackt. It's kind of like that. And

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Speaker 1: what would you say that you feel like, thus far,

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Speaker 1: your biggest impact has been for other mothers. I think

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Speaker 1: it's like for women too. You know, we have a

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Speaker 1: lot of young people who follow us, like fifteen year

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Speaker 1: old fourteen year old to wait in the parking lot

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Speaker 1: after the show and sneaking to our shows to come

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Speaker 1: see us. And I think that right now it's our

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Speaker 1: friendship for a lot of people that brings some hope

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Speaker 1: and that they find comfort in our friendship even more

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Speaker 1: than motherhood. Oh yeah, that's true, because that's Honestly, that's

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Speaker 1: what attracted to me, to you, to the bestie vibe.

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Speaker 1: I always love a bestie dynamic, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: we funk up constantly, but we pick each other up

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Speaker 1: and it's because we maybe each other we can do

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Speaker 1: what we do, and I think that our friendship is

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Speaker 1: really and the young people are on TikTok, like if

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Speaker 1: this isn't awesome, older than I don't think, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be love that. Yeah, so it's sort of

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Speaker 1: this weird. You know, you don't have to give up

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Speaker 1: your best friend because you're an adult, and I think

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Speaker 1: that's what a lot of people think, you have to

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Speaker 1: grow up and lose your friendship. No, you just have

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Speaker 1: to time your babies and families together so that you're

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Speaker 1: both on the same track. Because I was asking about

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Speaker 1: their other friendships independent of their own, because you both

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Speaker 1: have separate groups of friends that don't necessarily cross over

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Speaker 1: to your cat or NAT. Right, Yeah, that's right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we have separate friendships. We for sure planned a bunch

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Speaker 1: of them that like we're like, don't you can't pull out,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like you're not pulling for you,

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Speaker 1: but it's like you are stand in there. We planned

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Speaker 1: the babies before our husbands had any idea what was happening.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like your husbands are both just so inconsequential

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Speaker 1: in this dynamic. It's you know, I feel sad for them,

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Speaker 1: but I also feel like it's you know, good. They travel,

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Speaker 1: they take care of the kids, they're they're one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's pick up time right now, and they check off

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Speaker 1: they're not working so they can pick up the kids.

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Speaker 1: So they are also a huge reason. They support our

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Speaker 1: friendship and what we do, so we are very They're

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Speaker 1: not just sperm, you know what I mean? Okay, well, sure, sure,

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Speaker 1: we'll agree on that. Also, they travel on a tour

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Speaker 1: bus and they don't sleep in the same bed because

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Speaker 1: they don't they're not down with that. But that's more

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Speaker 1: not than cat right from what I remember. Would you

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Speaker 1: too sleep together? I'm sleep in a bed with anybody.

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Speaker 1: I have no problems. I mean, I prefer not if

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Speaker 1: we're sleeping together. You won't this one over here. Fuck,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna snubble me. I one friend, I have one

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Speaker 1: friend who always wants to sleep holding hands. So I

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Speaker 1: had to kick her out of I go. You know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm not holding hands with you all that I was

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Speaker 1: down to sleep with you. She stepped over my house

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Speaker 1: the other night and we woke up in the morning

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Speaker 1: and there's plenty of rooms for her to sleep in.

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Speaker 1: And she got up in the morning and she goes,

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Speaker 1: I didn't touch you. I didn't touch you. I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what the fund is supposed to happen. Can't sleep

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Speaker 1: for me if you're gonna sucking hold my hand, you're

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Speaker 1: not my boyfriend, you know. Well, honestly, we always say,

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Speaker 1: like we have tried to teach these seven kids to

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Speaker 1: sleep independently on their own, and then finally they learned

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Speaker 1: how to sleep on their own, and then you get

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Speaker 1: your relationship, and now you're just supposed to share a

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Speaker 1: bed again, Like it just doesn't make sense for the

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Speaker 1: way that we have learned how to sleep. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean she doesn't too. We build a wall between

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Speaker 1: our husbands and pillows, and I don't want like maybe

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Speaker 1: his feet might creep over like a hand my cream over,

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Speaker 1: but that's not gonna happen between the two of us

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Speaker 1: independent sleeping, like like if I can have my own bed,

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Speaker 1: I haven't had in my own bed in a long time,

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Speaker 1: Like someone's in you, on you or wants to get

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Speaker 1: in you at all times. So you're like when you

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Speaker 1: get your own bed, it's like that's amazing, sheer heaven.

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Speaker 1: So you want like Lucy and Ricky style, like two

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Speaker 1: beds in the bedroom. So sometimes people will fly us

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Speaker 1: out and we'll get us two rooms, and then we

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Speaker 1: get to the hotel where like, can we only use

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Speaker 1: one room with two beds? But can we change that?

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Speaker 1: Came to two queens. That's the ultimate for all sleeping

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Speaker 1: is to be in the same room or the same

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Speaker 1: house with a big group. But everyone has their own privacy. Katherine,

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Speaker 1: why did Lucy and Rickie sleep in separate beds? Well,

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Speaker 1: I think it wasn't allowed for them to have one bed.

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Speaker 1: Well that was in that time era, like people did that,

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Speaker 1: people had separate sleeping arrangements. I'm not sure. I guess

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Speaker 1: why did that change? I'm not sure they were married, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they made little Ricky because they were freaking smarter than us,

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Speaker 1: I guess. I mean that's what that's what needs to

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Speaker 1: come back in style if it should be retroactive. I

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Speaker 1: think everyone who has a child, I don't even have

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Speaker 1: a child, and I feel that way. But anyone who

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Speaker 1: was a child is definitely on board for separate beds. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want them too, but they even reject me. They

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Speaker 1: don't want to say in the bed all night, I

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Speaker 1: have to leave the little doggy steps. So Bernice will

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Speaker 1: like humor me. She's like, oh, here we go. You know,

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Speaker 1: she thinks I'm like assaulting her, so she goes to

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Speaker 1: her safe spot while I assault her, and then I

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Speaker 1: put her under the covers like like we're gonna do it.

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Speaker 1: And I noticed that if I have the confidence of

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Speaker 1: her not leaving, she will remain. It's when I look

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Speaker 1: at her and like, you know, and I'm worried about

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Speaker 1: her leaving. Is when she leaves so she can y Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And bern has basically turned into some sort of limp biscuit,

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Speaker 1: so I can't. He's not getting into my bed because

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Speaker 1: he's frail now, so I have to respect that, even

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Speaker 1: though he's probably got that way from my abuse. Anyway.

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Speaker 1: So let's talk a little bit about your friendship. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we've talked about it before when you guys interviewed me,

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Speaker 1: but I think it's inspiring for a lot of people

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Speaker 1: that will be listening. How your friendship works, and what

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Speaker 1: the benefits to each of your lives are by having

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Speaker 1: such a close, fun, work friend relationship cat, why don't

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Speaker 1: you start? I think for us it will Number one.

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Speaker 1: It allows you to take sort of more risks because

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Speaker 1: when there's two of you losing and failing, it's a lot,

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Speaker 1: it's funnier, and it's a lot easier than when it's

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Speaker 1: one of you. And I think that when you're both

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Speaker 1: in it together, there's no everything feels fun that we do.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing. We could be on a delay on an

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Speaker 1: airplane for twelve hours and it's fun. Need like, there's

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Speaker 1: it just the stakes just feel different because everything's kind

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Speaker 1: of a joke, and in a way that when parenting

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00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,600
Speaker 1: is going to ship, we call each other and thank god,

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Speaker 1: it often doesn't go to ship at the same time,

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Speaker 1: or when your relationship is not great and you always

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Speaker 1: have someone to share everything with because there's you're so

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Speaker 1: intimate with them, but you don't have sex with them

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Speaker 1: that it's like this weird. We're not transactional. We're so

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Speaker 1: tight that when you know when someone's going through something,

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Speaker 1: they don't have to say it. The other one can

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Speaker 1: just pick up the works lack knowing that that one

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Speaker 1: needs that and vice versa. So it's this weird. I

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Speaker 1: think we get double done because there's two of us

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Speaker 1: versus one of us, and there's no If we failed

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Speaker 1: and lost everything tomorrow, I would be okay because our

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00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,360
Speaker 1: ride has been so much fun and we would still

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Speaker 1: have each other and we probably figure out something else

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Speaker 1: to do in a different capacity. But this wouldn't change.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's the coolest thing about our friendship.

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Speaker 1: It's friendship first and then fun and then work. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what about you? I want you to speak. This is

365
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,359
Speaker 1: gonna be hard for her. She doesn't do you feeling.

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Speaker 1: I know that's why you're going. Second, she got inspired.

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Speaker 1: She told me recently why I love her. We were

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Speaker 1: on a plane and we were talking about love and

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Speaker 1: what love is and why she loves me and I

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Speaker 1: love her, and she basically told me I love her

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Speaker 1: because she does things for me like drive me around

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Speaker 1: and like she says, her plane tickets ever her life.

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Speaker 1: But I was like, I think it's more than that.

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Speaker 1: But maybe maybe that's all it is. It's been fourteen

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Speaker 1: years of being moms together and there has been so

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Speaker 1: many hard times. It hasn't all been like Keen, We've

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Speaker 1: had a post part of anxiety, we've had sickness, we've

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Speaker 1: had so many things. But being able to rely on

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Speaker 1: your friend too, like she said, pick up, pick up

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Speaker 1: when the other one can't. But also, like my kids

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Speaker 1: say to me, you are so lucky. You get to

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Speaker 1: go to work every day with your best friend and

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Speaker 1: there's no boss. Right, we're equal bosses, so we don't

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Speaker 1: have to go into work, have a boss, go to

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00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:56,959
Speaker 1: work all day with a bunch of like weirdos or strangers.

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Speaker 1: It's just us and everything we get to do fun.

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Speaker 1: I do were my them that what we do is work,

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Speaker 1: and we work hard together, but we worked together really

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Speaker 1: well because we know each other so well. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: we get to just have fun. And also it's really

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Speaker 1: great that our children get to have sort of like

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Speaker 1: a second mother, so that when um, like our sibling,

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Speaker 1: our seventh which is my baby, my babies and seventh.

394
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Speaker 1: But our seventh is so ferocious because she's had to

395
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Speaker 1: have like seven above her, like she's grown up with

396
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Speaker 1: six siblings. Essentially she's ferocious. I'm the youngest of six,

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Speaker 1: so I know exactly what you're talking. Ferocious are two

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Speaker 1: babies are ferocious, and I just think they're so lucky

399
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Speaker 1: that they always have a built in tribe. Like you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you feel it, like when you have a

401
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 1: lot of people around you, it's like this built in

402
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 1: little thing that yet bumpers around shoes. And we take

403
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,280
Speaker 1: them on vacation together, and we spend summers together. And

404
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 1: you had forced them all today, asked walking on the plane.

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Speaker 1: Eleven of us, seven children and the two of us

406
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Speaker 1: walking onto a plane. Everyone's like, my daughter has billed

407
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:56,040
Speaker 1: a hot cup of noodles on two different men on

408
00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:01,359
Speaker 1: two different plane. Rights the pants. Oh god, oh how humiliating.

409
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 1: She offered him candy as like an apology, and we

410
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 1: left the two girls like mom, We still like, I

411
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 1: don't know who you are. You deal with this man,

412
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,360
Speaker 1: and that's when you fan out, fan out and get

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Speaker 1: away from your children. You don't want to be seen

414
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 1: with them. And do you guys have similar parenting styles?

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00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,120
Speaker 1: Are you guys like agree on the way you parent

416
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,639
Speaker 1: or are you do differ in that way? We like

417
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 1: parent each other's children differently, like her kids will come

418
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:25,159
Speaker 1: to me for some things, and my kids will go

419
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 1: to her for things, like we definitely have different personalities.

420
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 1: Are our mother's mothered us differently, but overall I respect

421
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 1: totally the way that she does it, and she respects

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Speaker 1: the way that I do it. We go to each

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00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 1: other for different advices, like she has experts and I

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00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 1: have expertise, and then we blend and what do you

425
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,040
Speaker 1: think your strong suit is? Your strong parenting suit is got?

426
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 1: Oh god, that's so serious. You know. I'm like the talker.

427
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 1: So they'll call me, like yesterday, she's like, Mom, we're

428
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 1: going through some anxiety. Can you walk us through these

429
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,639
Speaker 1: feelings that we're in the car and your kids in

430
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,920
Speaker 1: the car. I'm like, yeah, let's go, you're gonna go.

431
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know where we go when we die,

432
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 1: Like I do the sex like I'm a sex conversation.

433
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,159
Speaker 1: I land the plane, you know. I'm like, if you

434
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,919
Speaker 1: don't know about a bone or bike grade two, we're screwed.

435
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: So like I'm like phone or penis vagina. People do

436
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 1: it for fun and for babies, we sit them all

437
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:18,239
Speaker 1: down and lay it out and not as strong suit is.

438
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: She's the one that's like, let's get up on the

439
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 1: couch and the tables and dance. We bring the fun,

440
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,679
Speaker 1: and I'm the combo. She's the person who's like the

441
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 1: party starter, like always yes, can we have a bag

442
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 1: of candy? Yes? Can we go here? Yes? Yeah? But

443
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not there to talk talk about now.

444
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,919
Speaker 1: They'll all call me and I'm like, let's talk okay.

445
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 1: I see, I see, yeah, I understand that I get

446
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 1: that from you too. And then I have to because

447
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 1: we share a bank account and a credit card, so

448
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 1: we all all of our money goes into one account,

449
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 1: the two of us. You are married, you guy, you

450
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 1: guys coming your funds, yes, but like we have other

451
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 1: like the funds with the husbands and that's where everything's

452
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: in now. And look at the budget but with us

453
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 1: that we didn't even know for the first few years

454
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 1: and get to pay taxes. We had the most amazing

455
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,239
Speaker 1: first couple of years until we found out about all

456
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,639
Speaker 1: that they're based like you're broke and you start fresh

457
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: and we're like shit, but we always just like we

458
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,439
Speaker 1: like to spend. You want something, I'm like, let's go

459
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 1: get it, and then we just go buy it out

460
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,000
Speaker 1: of the time. Oh my god, I love that you

461
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 1: have a bank account together. That is so ridiculous. We

462
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: changed our wedding and our engagement rings two different styles

463
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 1: together with I just told you ten minutes ago that

464
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 1: your husband's are inconsequential, and you disagree with me, and

465
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: you're just proving my point. Everything you're saying is supporting

466
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 1: what I said ten minutes earlier. So yeah, they're very valuable.

467
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 1: Thank God for those two. Thank God for them. Well,

468
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: we tried to curate your episode today, ladies. Catherine is

469
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,919
Speaker 1: very good at curating towards you know, the guests that

470
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,880
Speaker 1: we have on to the callers, so that you're gonna

471
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 1: be of some help. Since I know that Nat isn't

472
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: to talk therapy and she's gonna be valuable. Yeah, not

473
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 1: will not go to therapy, but you probably stall have

474
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 1: some good advice that you can sell a social worker

475
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:16,119
Speaker 1: pre you were not social worker before you. Yes, well,

476
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 1: we're going to take a quick break and then we'll

477
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 1: be back and we'll take some collars and some emails. Okay,

478
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 1: we're taking a break and we're back. We're back, we're back. Well.

479
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 1: Our first email comes from a mom who is going

480
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 1: by tired a f Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty six

481
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: year old mom of four, two of which I had

482
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: eight months ago. Twin girls. One of them is so chill,

483
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: only cries when she needs something, and an all around

484
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 1: normal baby. The other one is exhausting. In her defense,

485
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,760
Speaker 1: she does have colics, some stomach problems, and she's currently teething,

486
00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:00,399
Speaker 1: but she literally never stops crying. Since a day she

487
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: was born, She's crying of every day. I have a

488
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: four year old and a two year old who also

489
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 1: do their fair share of crying, and it gets to me.

490
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 1: I find myself thinking about how nice it would be

491
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,960
Speaker 1: if she could be more like her twin sister. She's

492
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 1: the easiest baby I've ever cared for, and I'm the

493
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 1: oldest of ten, so I've had my fair share of

494
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 1: experiences with babies. My question to you is, how do

495
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 1: I not play favorites with the twins when they're so

496
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 1: obviously is one? I of course love them both equally,

497
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: but let's be honest. I'm scared this might carry into

498
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 1: the future and become a problem when they get older

499
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 1: and start to realize the vibe. But it's so hard

500
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: to keep it together with everything going on. What do

501
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 1: I do about having a favorite? Sincerely tired a f

502
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: I I can't even believe that she had the time

503
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 1: to write that, like that sounds like such a ship

504
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,680
Speaker 1: show over there. I mean, she's twenty six years old,

505
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: Like the brain just thought fully developed a year ago.

506
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: That just now, that is crazy. And the only thing

507
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: I can think of is I have four as well.

508
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: I did not have four kids at twenty six. I

509
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: did not have nine siblings. But there is times in

510
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 1: the cycle of our children that there is a favorite.

511
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: And absolutely that quiet baby is going to be the

512
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: favorite because it's giving the least problems. But my quietest

513
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 1: ones a year later are the hardest ones. And people

514
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: always ask us, do you have a favorite? I'm like,

515
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: it depends on the day. So I'm pretty sure that

516
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: quiet little one isn't going to be your favorite forever.

517
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 1: That one's terrible teenager, that one's going to come out

518
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 1: of nowhere. You never get nothing, nothing scott free, No

519
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: one's good for life. You know you're quiet baby is

520
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: going to be a pregnant, pregnant drug addict by fourteen. Yeah,

521
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 1: And so enjoy the time that you have them as

522
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: your favorite. Because I've talked to a lot of men

523
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 1: about this, because I know women's answer is pretty kind

524
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 1: of what you guys are saying, I always get an

525
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: interesting answer. Men have consistently said, whichever child needs me

526
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,919
Speaker 1: the most is their favorite, and that changes all the

527
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: time too, so it's kind of like the opposite of

528
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: what this woman is going through. So I think I

529
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 1: don't think it's a new sure to have a favorite.

530
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: My mom said the same thing all the time. It's

531
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 1: just like, depends on what day of the week you

532
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: ask me. Yeah, and whoever's the easiest to deal with

533
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: is obviously, so don't feel guilty about that. You're not

534
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: alone at all. And just you know, I'm just thinking

535
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 1: about Kat's family and my family, and we both know

536
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: who our mom's favorite is and it's not it's your brother. Yeah,

537
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 1: I guess, And I'm fine with that. And she does.

538
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 1: Natalie here does happen to have one child blown up

539
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 1: in giant life like giant on the wall for many years,

540
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: just one of them. And she has four kids, but

541
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: one made the wall. He's so big, he's honestly the

542
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 1: most photochemic. So it was you she walked in. It

543
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: was a portrait of him, and everyone's like, isn't that wrong?

544
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 1: And I'm like, listen, we had a photo shoot and

545
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: one kid nailed it. He has a huge picture on

546
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: the wall. It Yeah, good luck next time. Did that's funny?

547
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: I always say that's my family. I'm like, it's just

548
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: because I'm the best looking one, you guys, I mean,

549
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 1: that's why everything's working out the way it has. I'm like,

550
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,239
Speaker 1: this world is about this world about looks, and I

551
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: got him so back up, and that's how she feels

552
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 1: to Oh my gosh. Although he is a little on

553
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: the short side compared to everybody else, so he needed

554
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 1: the wall. If you will wear so yeah, I like

555
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 1: all the reasoning behind the big picture on the wall.

556
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: So far, I'm totally on board with this. And that's

557
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 1: actually a good way to keep kids in check. If

558
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 1: you have three or more, totally blow one up and

559
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,360
Speaker 1: put it on the wall and be like, guess who

560
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 1: the favorite of the month is. Everybody needs to step

561
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 1: their fucking game up. Oh my gosh, you are on,

562
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 1: You are onto something favorite of It's like the employee

563
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: of the month. You never needs incentivization children. You know

564
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: how when you went to sleep away camp. I went

565
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 1: to the sleepaway camp. Well, no, my parents couldn't afford

566
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: sleepway camp, so they sent me to this day camp

567
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: and every day as somebody would get like best swimmer

568
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 1: or best finger blaster or whatever you do. And it

569
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: felt even though I saw everyone every day get an

570
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 1: award as a kid, it felt so good it to

571
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 1: get the A word, you know, it feels so good.

572
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: And that's I mean, who doesn't like that that Pavlovian

573
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: you know response and word. So yeah, I think everybody

574
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 1: listening I just gave you. I mean, it just came out,

575
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 1: and I think it's awesome. Yeah, it's a great way

576
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: to take everybody together. Yeah. And if you have braces,

577
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: you just have to wait to get those off to

578
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: hit the wall. No, I think I disagree that. I disagree.

579
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: I think sometimes had kids with braces are the best

580
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 1: and they should be given their due right, not based

581
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: It shouldn't be based on looks. It should be based

582
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: on who's the best kid that month, who had the

583
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 1: best behavior you know what I mean, or best grades

584
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: or whatever however you want to categorize. It is up

585
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:39,880
Speaker 1: to you. Yeah, I love it. And then when they're

586
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: teenagers and they hate you and they're embarrassed by everything,

587
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: you put their picture on the wall until they're good.

588
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 1: And then you can take it down. Oh my gosh,

589
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: I love that humiliation. I mean, there's probably gonna be

590
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,360
Speaker 1: an age where they don't want their picture on the wall.

591
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 1: So then you have to like restrategize, you know, then

592
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: you put yourself up, you put a nude up, you know,

593
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: don't you do embarrassed? Yeah? Go up? You know mommy

594
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 1: and daddy? Yeah, or you just make it. Yeah, that's

595
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: good to threaten them with. Like you're going to do

596
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: a lot of public displays of affection with your husband.

597
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: That's also a good threat. Yeah, write that book hot

598
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 1: parenting Tips. So our next caller and they're gonna be

599
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: on a zoom. So girls, okay, be ready. It's a

600
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 1: little juicy, Veronica says, Dear Chelsea, the situation I'm in

601
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 1: is quite a doozy. For the last six months, I

602
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: was really unhappy in my relationship of five years, and

603
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: after talking to my therapist a few months ago, I

604
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: decided that it would be best to end the relationship.

605
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: As I started emotionally checking out, I started flirting with

606
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: his cousin that also happened to be our roommate. For reference,

607
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five, my access and his cousin is twenty nine.

608
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: The three of us were very close and would do

609
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 1: a lot together, and I saw the cousin as a

610
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 1: really good friend. After flirting, sneaking some kisses, and can

611
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: fessing love to each other at the house, I couldn't

612
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: take the guilt and ended my relationship, then promptly moved out.

613
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: After giving myself some time to adjust and making sure

614
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: my feelings for his cousin were real, we decided to

615
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: start seeing each other. Things were going really well, but

616
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: now he's started to get very upset about how much

617
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: this would hurt his cousin and how he hates having

618
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: to keep our relationship a secret. I've told him multiple

619
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: times that you can't help who you fall for and

620
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: that together we can make it work, But I still

621
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: have the fear that this is all going to blow up.

622
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: I don't know if just coming clean about everything would

623
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: be a good idea, or if we should wait a

624
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: few more months to give their family more time to

625
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: get over the breakup. My biggest concern is his family

626
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: hating him and exiling him over me. But I'm truly

627
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: so in love with him, and if he says we

628
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 1: can make it work, I want to believe him help.

629
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 1: I don't even know where to start. Veronica, Hi, Dare, Hi, Hi, Hi?

630
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 1: How are you guys? Good? Our special guest today, our

631
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 1: cat and Nat and so they're here today, and you

632
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 1: have Katherine, so you have four of us. Yes, I

633
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: need all the advice I can get. I know, I

634
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 1: know you do need advice. So you were dating your

635
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: previous boyfriend for how long? Five years? And you've been

636
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 1: broken up for how long? Going on? Close to ten

637
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: months now? Okay, so this is gonna be a problem

638
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, so I get it.

639
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: I mean it's pretty tricky. Their family is going to

640
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: be upset. Somebody is going to be upset, I think.

641
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: So yeah, I would say that's a snake bet. And

642
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: is your boyfriend your current boyfriend, who is your ex

643
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: boyfriend's cousin? Is he contemplating your relationship at all? Or

644
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: is he committed? No, he's committed. Okay, so you're both done.

645
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: You're going to be together, and you're going to tell

646
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 1: his family at some point, right, it's just a matter

647
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: of when. Okay, Well, I guess I'll go first, and

648
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 1: then you girls to hop on and give your opinion.

649
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: I would just say the sooner you come clean, the

650
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: sooner everybody can acclimate to the new situation, and the

651
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: sooner everybody has to stop hiding. But be prepared for

652
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: a big thunderstorm that's gonna last for a long time,

653
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 1: possibly potentially, But I think you should probably try and

654
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: get the truth out sooner than later, and then you know,

655
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: the sooner everyone can get over it. Yeah, and it

656
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: shouldn't be you, yeah, boyfriend, it should be your Yeah,

657
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: you should be your boyfriend. I don't know who should

658
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 1: tell the boyfriend. Maybe people should tell the boyfriend. I mean,

659
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 1: who are you going to tell first? The boyfriend? Right?

660
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: Your ex? Yeah, that's pretty tricky. What do you girls think?

661
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 1: What does everyone think? Do they have to know that

662
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: you were together when they all were together? Does that

663
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: all have to come out? So that's another topic. We

664
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: kind of agreed to never say that anything started while

665
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: the previous relationship was going on, but we think that

666
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,959
Speaker 1: it would be really obvious that things would start to

667
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: click once the truth came out. So yeah, like my

668
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: initial lie, lie, like wait a few months and then

669
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: act like you guys ran into each other and it

670
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: was so nice to see each other again, and things started.

671
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: But that people always say the truth always freaking comes out,

672
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna have to not only face that

673
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 1: you're dating him, but now the lies and all of

674
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: the tears of thing Veronica. It's never gonna get easier,

675
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: So waiting longer is not gonna make it easier. So

676
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 1: freaking rip it and just be like, we're dating, we're

677
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: in love, we're happy. Is the family understanding people? Are

678
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: they wild? Are we gonna flip tables? Really understanding people?

679
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: Oh well, it's a good start. Did you break up?

680
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: Was he heartbroken? Does he act heartbroken? I would say yes,

681
00:32:56,480 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: he was very shocked and surprised. Does he have new lady?

682
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: Not yet? Up? We got to get him a new

683
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 1: lady if you want that. He needs to keep completely

684
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: over you and so in love that you don't care

685
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: what's going on. It would be great if you could

686
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 1: wait until he has a girlfriend. That would be good

687
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: because then you won't care as much because it's just

688
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: gonna be a ship show. You're It's exactly right. The

689
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: truth is gonna come out. They're gonna piece it all together.

690
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: And if you admit that you guys, how are flirting

691
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: while you were with him? And then that he's never

692
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: gonna forgive you. He's gonna hold onto that for years,

693
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: and that's just such bad news. Like, I wish you

694
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: could just find a lie. Was there kind of some

695
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: overlap there? I know you said there were some stolen kisses,

696
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: but like, was there like sex overlap? No? No, no, no, no, no,

697
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: that's candy. Yeah, good for you. Don't say it. Just

698
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: say there was flirting, flirting and we knew that was wrong,

699
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: and I that's why I broke up with you, and

700
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 1: you did. You made with the cousin and I knew

701
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: it was wrong. And obviously, don't volunteer that there were

702
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: any kisses. If he asked, did anything happen? What you

703
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: take that as sex? No? No, no, we didn't have sex.

704
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: I didn't want to do that while we were dating.

705
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 1: I don't think you should admit the kissing behind the

706
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 1: sneaking kisses. I don't like that, and I'm advocating for

707
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: you to lie. I am. Yeah, those details might just

708
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 1: hurt more than everything exactly. You guys can play it

709
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,439
Speaker 1: off like you've been dating for a few months because

710
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: you I mean what you said you did, which is

711
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 1: moving out, giving yourself some space to like figure out

712
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,520
Speaker 1: if this was really real. Turns out it was ten months,

713
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, you did a lot of

714
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: the right things. You stopped it when it was going

715
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 1: a certain direction. And I think, you know, having some

716
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 1: white lies in there about not having physical intimacy, I

717
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 1: think that's just fine too. Yeah, that's so nice that

718
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: you're so in love. Yeah, it's very refreshing compared to

719
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: the last five years. So well, don't say that. I

720
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: don't tell him that, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, But do

721
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,359
Speaker 1: you know, you and your new boyfriend, if you can

722
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 1: weather this storm that you're gonna about to get into

723
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: and listen, maybe it's not going to be a big deal.

724
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: That would be ideal, but I mean it probably will

725
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: be a big deal. You know, people like you know,

726
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 1: it could have been his brother. At least it's just

727
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: a cousin. Yeah, yeah, that's a good thing to bring up. Say,

728
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: at least I wasn't sucking your father, and see how

729
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 1: he likes that. I just say, it's you know that

730
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 1: or your mother. What if I was sucking your mother,

731
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 1: that would be a real shocker, you know, that would

732
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,319
Speaker 1: be a double whammy. Yeah, you really got to say

733
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 1: that this is the best case scenario. I feel like

734
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 1: it is a bit removed from the family. Yeah, not

735
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: immediate I didn't go for immediate family. Yes, yeah, And

736
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: I think also you have to be very once this

737
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 1: is out, be very sensitive to the fact that people

738
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,399
Speaker 1: are going to have like their little feelings about it,

739
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 1: and then that will just eventually fade out. The family

740
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,399
Speaker 1: probably doesn't like the cousin that much you always talk

741
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 1: to you about you know what I mean. It might

742
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: not even be that close. So maybe you're in a

743
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,799
Speaker 1: great place and get an a test. Maybe they're not

744
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 1: even cousins, you know. Oh my gosh, a lot of

745
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: surprises out there. That really is true, it is. Yeah,

746
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 1: I get your twenty three and me, I bet you

747
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 1: who knows who knows things? Really took a charm for

748
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 1: a positive here. But also like it's been ten months,

749
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,359
Speaker 1: hopefully it won't be a big deal, right, it's been

750
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 1: a while. Yeah, it's been a while. Yeah. Make sure

751
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,239
Speaker 1: you let us know what happens, okay, very and let

752
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 1: us know when it happens. What happens, Yeah, call us back, Okay,

753
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: I'll give you all the juicy details. Thank you, Yes, perfect, Okay,

754
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 1: good luck with that. Thank you. That's right, that's awesome.

755
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: That's gonna be one fucked up situation. Feel the vibes

756
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: from that family. Just by talking to her, I know

757
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: it's gonna go badly. The ancestors are gonna be pissed. Well,

758
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: we have another collar gals. This is Emily. Emily is

759
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 1: forty six, she says, high favorite podcast. I left an

760
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: abusive marriage in two thousand seven. In two thousand eight,

761
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 1: I met a guy who, fourteen years later is still around.

762
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 1: When we got together, we bonded over our terrible marriages,

763
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,320
Speaker 1: and we had kids, so our relationship became our private island.

764
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: We communicate well and became great travel buddies. We don't

765
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: live together, and our kids are grown. I love my

766
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,280
Speaker 1: me time, and so I'm on the fence about living together.

767
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:28,800
Speaker 1: When I think about getting older and having a partner

768
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 1: to help me with things that happen when you get old,

769
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 1: like falling or getting sick, it seems like a good idea.

770
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: He just says maybe someday. Someday is fine. I'm a

771
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 1: weed smoker and super happy just to be living and

772
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: somewhat successful. I was once anxious and now moved to

773
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: a secure attachment style person. Been in therapy since I

774
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,879
Speaker 1: was a teen. I have so much life left to live,

775
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 1: and it would be easy to let another fifteen years

776
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 1: pass just as we are. He's still in my life,

777
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,919
Speaker 1: but recently the relationships been sort of fizzling. We're still

778
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: in contact but not really together. Is it worth sticking

779
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 1: it out another couple of years or have we peeked

780
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 1: already and it's time to move on. I'm such an

781
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 1: easygoing person. I'm worried I'm going to let life pass

782
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: me by. I find myself asking after fourteen years together

783
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: and not cohabitating, should I be asking for more? Sincerely, Emily, Hi, Emily, Hey,

784
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: this is Kat and nat Are who are special guests today.

785
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: They're from Canada. He is very legal here. Oh nice, perfect,

786
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 1: And you know Catherine because you probably spoke to her already.

787
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: She's amazing. Okay, So you've been with your partner for

788
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: fourteen years and you say you're independent, but then you

789
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 1: say that you want to move in together. So it's

790
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: a little confusing which one do you want? Okay? So

791
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 1: it's a little confusing of a situation. We did break up.

792
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 1: It's sort of run its course. This has been going

793
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 1: on for a long time. But I kind of like

794
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,479
Speaker 1: I'm growing up. I guess. I think I finally became

795
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: an adult, a share kind of thing where the same

796
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: things we used to do, like he would come over

797
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 1: and we would hang out, we'd smoke, we were you know,

798
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: this great, perfect private island situation. And then after it

799
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 1: got old, it just you know it kind of I

800
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: got busy. I'd like to do things outside. He doesn't,

801
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: and so I stopped doing all the things that I

802
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 1: would do to get ready to hang out with them.

803
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 1: And and to me, that was a sign that I

804
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: shouldn't continue this. I should at least think about what

805
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 1: I need at this point in my life. Now I

806
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: did love I love him, We get along great. It

807
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: sounds like you're describing your brother or your best friend

808
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: like it's the excitement is gone. It's over, so move

809
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: on and you need to find something else. You have

810
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 1: to be excited about the person that you are fucking.

811
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 1: You have to be excited and want to look good

812
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,760
Speaker 1: from when they come over and look in the mirror

813
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: and actually care about what you look like. I know

814
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 1: that after fourteen years that's not typical, but so great.

815
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 1: You're not married to him, you have no reason to

816
00:39:58,280 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 1: hang on to this, you can move on and use

817
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: him as like you know, how to have him in

818
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,320
Speaker 1: your life as a friendship. It's so easy to see. Yeah,

819
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 1: for sure, it's that appropriate to to be friends. I

820
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: guess I'm a little unclear on what as long as

821
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: you don't have expectations from him, you know, if you

822
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 1: can transition into a friendship or you're not having sex

823
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: with him, because I think that's confusing and that muddies

824
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 1: the waters. We're not having sex, we haven't had sex,

825
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, I mean, if it's okay to be

826
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: friends with him, but you know, sometimes when we have

827
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 1: somebody old in our life, it kind of prevents us

828
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: from moving on to the new person. So I don't

829
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: know if that's happening, but it sounds like what you're

830
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 1: describing is pretty stale. And I'm thinking, like when you said,

831
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: you're forty six, and you're already looking at a time

832
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: where you get old and all down you have, you're

833
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 1: still so young. There's seven I'm don't you fight my

834
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: jam up? Like what are you talking about? Forty is

835
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: the new like it doesn't matter? Yeah, yeah, you know.

836
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 1: The whole point of that was, so we do he

837
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: has some stomach issues and he was in the hot

838
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,439
Speaker 1: spit all. I didn't get a call for three days.

839
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: So that's the story there. It's like we are getting

840
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 1: older and like these are things I should be thinking about,

841
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 1: But don't. I disagree. You're not You're right, you're not sick.

842
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 1: Why do you have to think about that? Men are

843
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: going south before women too. So don't hook up with

844
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,919
Speaker 1: a guy thinking he's taking care of you, because you're

845
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: definitely taking care of him before he takes care of you.

846
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. You gotta look out for

847
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 1: you go younger, yes, genius, Yeah, let's go younger. And also,

848
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:33,439
Speaker 1: you want your vibration here, not settling, like vibration when

849
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 1: you settle it just it's like a limp biscuit. Yeah, higher,

850
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: and nanny to babysit you when you get older, you

851
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,439
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Don't get married. I would rather

852
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 1: pay somebody to take care of me in my life

853
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: dying days than have any fucking child or niece or nephew.

854
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,839
Speaker 1: And my nieces and nephew's loved me and they would

855
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: take care of me, but I would rather pay somebody

856
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: to do it so that when I say, get me

857
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 1: a Belvedere on the rocks with a splash of fucking

858
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,720
Speaker 1: soda on my deathbed. They're going to do that, Chelsea.

859
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,760
Speaker 1: Can I tell you where you can do that? Really? Well?

860
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: My sister works in elder law, and she said that

861
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: what a lot of people are doing these days is

862
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:08,839
Speaker 1: rather than going into assisted living, which is like ten

863
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 1: grand a month, they just go on cruises, cruise after

864
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 1: cruise after cruise, because there's more doctors per capita on

865
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: a cruise than at the nursing home. Yeah, but then

866
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 1: you have to go on a fucking cruise, Catherine. I'm

867
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: not doing that. I would go on a limited edition cruise,

868
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: like there has to be less than fifty people, and

869
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,320
Speaker 1: then I'll go and I have to be able to

870
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: throw each one of them overboard. But anyway, you're fucking

871
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 1: forty six, You're not. Everything's great, ye. Can I ask

872
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: you a question, Chelse? So I know you really love

873
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 1: your alone time and I really identified with that. My

874
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,839
Speaker 1: kid went back to school and I had the best

875
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,439
Speaker 1: day yesterday just by myself. And so do you ever

876
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: think about in that situation being very comfortable? Are you

877
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: too comfortable? Or like, do you think that you should

878
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: don't think you don't need to over analyze yourself. Whatever

879
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 1: feels good to you is the right thing. We are all.

880
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 1: We live in a society where it's a good thing

881
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: to like have introspection. But you don't have to be

882
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 1: overly analytical about every little move you make. There's no

883
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 1: such thing as I spend too much time. The other night,

884
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: I went to bed at five pm. Okay, anyone else

885
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: would be like, are you depressed? I don't give a fuck.

886
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: I wanted. All I could think about was going to bed.

887
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 1: I looked at my sleep number in the in the morning,

888
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: my stats on my phone, and it said you fell

889
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 1: asleep at five pm, And I was like, what a

890
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 1: victory lap? You know, like, yeah, it's whatever. Whatever you

891
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: feel that you need is what you need. Stop judging yourself.

892
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 1: And also it's okay if that changes as it as

893
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,720
Speaker 1: it does, it changes all the time, So whatever you're feeling,

894
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 1: it's never gonna last forever. Like you know that you're

895
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 1: just in this mood right now, and then you're going

896
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: to get out of that mood. But I would say,

897
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: you know, take a little separation from that guy and

898
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: a stomach. Yeah. My one question I think is why

899
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,919
Speaker 1: it's been such a slow burn for you to make

900
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,800
Speaker 1: the change, Like it's been like a year and a

901
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: half of this relationship dissolving and no sex, and you

902
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: know you're still wondering, like do I give it two

903
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 1: more years? What is that there? Like everybody know that's

904
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 1: a big silent gap. We're just all waiting and while

905
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 1: you figure out what your answer is mm hmm. The

906
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 1: answer is, I'm not waiting. I just this situation is here.

907
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: I'm I've moved on with my life and I think

908
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 1: that I need to put a cap on that relationship

909
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: and say, like, look, we had a good run, and

910
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 1: is he gonna feel the same way? Just how does

911
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: he feel he knows about this call? Like he's caring? What? Oh,

912
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 1: you know your answer? And we all know you know

913
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 1: your answer. You just wanted to tell you what to do,

914
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 1: but you know what to do. You just said it.

915
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,800
Speaker 1: We didn't have to say anything. You just wanted someone

916
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: else to tell you. You want to cap that off? Yeah? Right,

917
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 1: I think you should write that. I should think you

918
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 1: should write that on your refrigerator. Who cares? And that

919
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 1: is to you? And what anyone else might that possibly

920
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: think of? You start with that mantra every single day.

921
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, yeah, you have my whole world,

922
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna have a lot of men in your life.

923
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 1: We just sometimes have to clean out the garbage in

924
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: our lives. And not that you know any person is garbage.

925
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying. It's just some people aren't

926
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 1: adding to our value, and some people are only there

927
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: for a short period of time and in your case,

928
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: a long period of time. But it's time to dust

929
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 1: out those cobwebs and get going with the rest of

930
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,439
Speaker 1: your life. Yeah, this could be such an exciting time

931
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah. I definitely just became a grown up

932
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,720
Speaker 1: and you just found yourself. It's gonna be a good time.

933
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,359
Speaker 1: I have a couple of people hit me up over

934
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: the past year that I just haven't been ready to date.

935
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, yeah, I like being by myself

936
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: right now. Don't do it. You don't have to move

937
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:59,399
Speaker 1: in with them right away. I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

938
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 1: just go with the flow. I remember once I was

939
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 1: hanging out with this group of people. This is a

940
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,399
Speaker 1: long time ago, and I remember looking around going this

941
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,360
Speaker 1: isn't gonna cut it. These people are not going to

942
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: cut it. I'm too cool to be in this group,

943
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 1: and you have to remember that about yourself. When you're

944
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 1: too cool for a situation, go and find people that

945
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: are on your vibe, not people that are on your

946
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 1: like lower than your Yeah. And if I could go

947
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,479
Speaker 1: back and dry hump people, I would just dry hump

948
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 1: like I would if I were you, I would just

949
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:27,920
Speaker 1: dry hump and make out with them. It would just

950
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 1: sit then thank you for the night, and move on.

951
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:34,479
Speaker 1: I love that advice bad. Actually, dry humping is gonna

952
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: probably make a comeback at some point. It's yeah, yeah,

953
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 1: because you could actually a woman could come or climax

954
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 1: from dry humping. Yeah, and you're good to go. Yeah

955
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 1: or monkey I set of monkey bars. I can't believe

956
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,280
Speaker 1: you put that in your book, by the way, because

957
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 1: like I think every woman was like, that's okay that

958
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: we did that. Oh yeah, you girls. I used to

959
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 1: master made over my pants when I it was called

960
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: the feeling when I was growing up. I was so excited.

961
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 1: I had no idea because I didn't think I would

962
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: never touch your Pikachu directly. It would be over the jeans.

963
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: But if the seam of the jeans were the right

964
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,000
Speaker 1: seem a fixed team. You could make yourself come even faster.

965
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 1: So I would lie down behind an ottoman I get

966
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,560
Speaker 1: home after school and I would just be just just

967
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 1: rubbing myself. But I'd have my vagina covered by the

968
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 1: ottoman in case anyone walked into the living room and

969
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,760
Speaker 1: they would just see me face down on the floor.

970
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 1: And while I had like rug burns on my chin,

971
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 1: I was so into myself. I could not get enough

972
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 1: of myself. All I would do was jerk off all

973
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: the time. And I didn't know I was masturbating. I mean,

974
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: I knew it was like a secret, but I was

975
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: just like, oh, all my girlfriends were doing it. And

976
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,240
Speaker 1: so I would just be sitting there rubbing my vagina,

977
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,720
Speaker 1: rubbing my vagina. And then finally we were at dinner

978
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: one night and I had a ladle and it was

979
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 1: a whole family dinner and I couldn't like, I couldn't

980
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: even take a break for dinner. If only fans were alive,

981
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 1: then I would have been on it. And so I

982
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 1: had this spoon and in between my legs, and I

983
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 1: was rubbing myself at the dinner table, and I obviously

984
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 1: became red or sweaty or something, and my mom goes, Chelsea,

985
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: what you're doing needs to be done in the privacy

986
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,280
Speaker 1: of your own room. And then my brother Roy yells,

987
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 1: she does it all the time. And I looked around

988
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 1: the table and I was like, oh my god, everyone's

989
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: known this whole time that I've been fucking jerking off.

990
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: Like I thought I was sleuth, you know, Like I

991
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. And I was so devastated

992
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 1: that I did not masturbate until I was in my

993
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 1: forties because I was so ashamed about it that for you,

994
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 1: I hated that my brothers knew that I was jerking off.

995
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: Very common course it is, of course it is. I mean, yeah,

996
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 1: they're jerking off. You know the show Young Sheldon. Yeah,

997
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: I know, I need to make it. I know we

998
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: were working on that once. Anyway, did you get your

999
00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 1: advice that you came here for. I did? I love

1000
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: you so much? Okay? All right? Good? Well, when you

1001
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: get a new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you're in

1002
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,240
Speaker 1: too obviously men right now, but that can always change. Also,

1003
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 1: be open minded and when you're in a new situation

1004
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 1: and you're feeling really positive about your life, please send

1005
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,800
Speaker 1: us a line and let us know yes, of course

1006
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 1: we'll do Hi. Thanks ladies. Oh my god, didn't even

1007
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:20,359
Speaker 1: take a break for dinner. No, what a productive call

1008
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 1: that was. That was great. Yeah, that isn't it funny

1009
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 1: thing you can just talk to someone and you can

1010
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,839
Speaker 1: feel their energy just by talking to them, like if

1011
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:31,720
Speaker 1: it's high or low. I wish that was more like measurable,

1012
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: you know, when people talk about energy. I wish somebody

1013
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 1: could say, oh, you're at an eight, so that people

1014
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: would take it more seriously, because like the high vibes

1015
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: are so important, and there are people that just bring

1016
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: you down, you know, and it's not their fault or

1017
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: that they're a bad person, you're just not on the

1018
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,279
Speaker 1: same frequency. Yeah, we should have like a little thing

1019
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: above our head that says like a halo. Yeah. I

1020
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:58,280
Speaker 1: have one more quick question from Brittany. Brittany Britney spears

1021
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: a spell boy and so, Dear Chelsea. I have a

1022
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 1: situation I've been wrestling with for about a year. I'm

1023
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: thirty six years old and never wanted kids until this

1024
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 1: last year. I married my husband last year and we've

1025
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: been together for eight years total. I really love him.

1026
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 1: We have mostly have a great relationship. We have three

1027
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 1: cats we adore, But the thing is he does not

1028
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:24,720
Speaker 1: want to have kids. We always agreed about this until

1029
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 1: a year ago. I kept thinking that the desire to

1030
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: have kids would just be a phase and go away,

1031
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: but it keeps getting stronger. I'm really confused and torn

1032
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 1: on what to do. The thought of leaving makes me sad,

1033
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 1: and the fear of trying to find a partner and

1034
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,240
Speaker 1: have kids at my age seems scary. I'm freezing my eggs,

1035
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: so that helps take some of the pressure off, but

1036
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 1: it's still a huge undertaking. I'm worried that later on

1037
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 1: I'll have some regret about not taking a chance on

1038
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: having a family of my own. I'm also worried that

1039
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 1: I'll regret leaving a good marriage and potentially fucking up

1040
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 1: my life with a crappy partner, or the challenges of parenthood.

1041
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: How can I make this decision. I'm going to therapy,

1042
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: but I feel stuck. The clock is ticking, which is

1043
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,760
Speaker 1: so stressful. Thanks for your help, Brittany. So the husband

1044
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 1: decided he did didn't want to have kids. I think

1045
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:10,920
Speaker 1: neither of them did, and then she just changed her

1046
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 1: mind okay and hit her and she just she felt

1047
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: like she maternal and she needed to have a baby.

1048
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 1: Oh well, she really has to decide what does she

1049
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 1: want more him or the baby, because she actually doesn't.

1050
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: She doesn't need him to make the baby. She could

1051
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 1: do it alone. But she doesn't need to find another

1052
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,760
Speaker 1: partner to have a baby either if they did fizzle,

1053
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 1: like if they broke up, like she can have a

1054
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 1: baby on her own. Yeah, yeah, but that's not going

1055
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 1: to make her feel good. She wants to have a

1056
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 1: husband and that baby. So you guys are parents, so

1057
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 1: you need to handle this. It's happened to a lot

1058
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:43,840
Speaker 1: of our friends actually, and they broke up with the

1059
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:48,520
Speaker 1: partner to have the baby. Because you're gonna end up

1060
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: if you can't let it go. You're gonna hate them.

1061
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: You're going to resent them that they never did it,

1062
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 1: and you will just find problems even if there isn't

1063
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 1: a problem, you'll create problems. So it would rather be honest,

1064
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: like I've changed my mind and maybe he doesn't know

1065
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 1: how she's nervous to say I really really want this,

1066
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 1: this is what he might be like, then I can

1067
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 1: get on board. You never know if you're really honest

1068
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 1: with it. Yeah, like maybe eight years ago when they

1069
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 1: started together. They totally agreed on that, but he really

1070
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,799
Speaker 1: wasn't as like he wasn't as determined to not have

1071
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 1: them as she was. Now she's changed her mind. Who knows,

1072
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:21,799
Speaker 1: Maybe he has to Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know.

1073
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 1: God I go My husband didn't one a third really

1074
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 1: and it was a big conversation, and I was like different,

1075
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 1: I know, but I was a very big conversation. I

1076
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 1: think for some people have to be like this is

1077
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 1: this is so important to me. I don't know if

1078
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: I can keep being with you if I can't do this,

1079
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 1: and then he might feel like I never knew. Let's

1080
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: maybe let's talk about it, think about what we're gonna

1081
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 1: do here. Yeah, it's so much more than do I

1082
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 1: leave him or do I get a baby? Because she

1083
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 1: might not even be able to have a baby. You know,

1084
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: like there's so many X factors. It's so hard to

1085
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 1: say leave them and go get a new partner in

1086
00:52:56,440 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: a baby, maybe there's a wiggle room in two years

1087
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: or you know, if she's freezing his eggs, does he

1088
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 1: not know something's coming up? Or is she doing it

1089
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 1: in secret? Well she's freezing her egg Yeah, Well men

1090
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 1: don't have eggs like, yeah, she might be doing it alone.

1091
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 1: It's expensive to do that too, it is. Yeah, I

1092
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: think you have to be like, if you really are

1093
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 1: thinking about this, ay, you have to want to have

1094
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 1: that baby a hundred and fifty percent. You have to

1095
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 1: be committed to that. And if you are that committed

1096
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 1: to that baby and that's more important to you than

1097
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 1: your husband is right now, then yeah, you've got to

1098
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 1: leave him and go pursue that. But I mean you

1099
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 1: have to really know that you want to do that,

1100
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 1: not just be curious about being a mother. I think

1101
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:47,240
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I know how strong a maternal instant

1102
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 1: can be, at least I hear about it. But I

1103
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 1: think you have to examine really how important that is

1104
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: to you, and then that's your decision right there. You know,

1105
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:57,359
Speaker 1: did you have like a whoopsie, like you know, get

1106
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 1: unofficially inseminated and then be like, oh no, that bad. Yeah,

1107
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:05,440
Speaker 1: but we're also Mary, so yeah, I mean I'm not

1108
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 1: against that. I don't into a baby, Okay, well we did, Okay,

1109
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 1: Well that's yeah, that's your advice. What's her name. I

1110
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:21,439
Speaker 1: definitely think that's a good ideas that would do that. Yeah,

1111
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:23,800
Speaker 1: if I was a manipulative person. That was something I

1112
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 1: would think about. Just you know, is that how you

1113
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 1: wanted up with baby number three? No? No, locked him in?

1114
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 1: You know, wrap my legs. You're not leaving, squeaks. Well,

1115
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we'll come back to

1116
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 1: wrap up with Captain Nat and Chelsea. And we're back.

1117
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 1: We're back, well, Catt, And this is the part of

1118
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 1: the show where I want to know if you'd like

1119
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,800
Speaker 1: any advice from Chelsea. Well, we have an ongoing argument

1120
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 1: that maybe the two of you and Chelsea could settle

1121
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 1: for us. We have an argument on whether you and

1122
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 1: Chelsea yeah whatever, you know, I'm saying, Okay, I think

1123
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 1: we just we've never really agreed to I don't know

1124
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 1: if we have a misunderstanding and we actually have to

1125
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: show each other what we mean. But I take soap

1126
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:12,880
Speaker 1: and I wash underneath and all over my vagina, like

1127
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 1: I actually take the soap and not in like, not

1128
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: in the hole, of course, not the hole in the oven,

1129
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 1: in the like, all underneath. And she says that you

1130
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 1: shouldn't put she read, if you don't put soap there

1131
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 1: because it's self inside, not in the hole. Yes, all

1132
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 1: in there. And I don't think you're I'm pretty rough

1133
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 1: and when I washed my beaver in the shower, that's

1134
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: obviously the first spot i'd like to hit. But I

1135
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 1: don't put the soap bar like I guess I probably

1136
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,880
Speaker 1: do with something similar. I do know that you're not

1137
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,479
Speaker 1: supposed to do that. You're not supposed to, but soap

1138
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 1: inside the lips, any of that. Your vagina is a

1139
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 1: self cleaning mechanism itself. Yes, are you serious? Yeah, so

1140
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 1: you can rob soap around, but like, I don't think

1141
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:56,720
Speaker 1: it's gonna hurt you. I mean, it's supposed to affect

1142
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:59,799
Speaker 1: your pH balance, is what I know. Yeah, but I'm

1143
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 1: not I don't use a bar of soap. I used

1144
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:05,719
Speaker 1: pump soap, right is that what you use? So you're not? Okay? So,

1145
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't think it's that big of

1146
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:10,680
Speaker 1: a deal. I think if you actually put it inside you,

1147
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 1: then it's a big deal. But massa manos, as they

1148
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 1: say in it. If you're not getting any East infections,

1149
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 1: you're probably doing it fine. Yeah right, Yeah, everything's been

1150
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:22,719
Speaker 1: fine so far. I just like all dark moist places

1151
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:26,320
Speaker 1: need to be also have ibs, so that would be different.

1152
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 1: You know, ibs down there. You do definitely stuck my

1153
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: finger in my butt hole to wash it. Yeah, for

1154
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:36,640
Speaker 1: if there's a situation that needs cleansing, Yeah, in that

1155
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 1: the hole. Yeah, just to make sure like everything's there

1156
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,240
Speaker 1: that is supposed to be there and nothing extra. Yeah,

1157
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 1: only when I've had an incident. Oh my gosh, if

1158
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 1: I even go anywhere near that thing, it's just going

1159
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:53,319
Speaker 1: to be a disaster. Really with soap, I mean, don't

1160
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 1: you want it to be clean your butt hole? She

1161
00:56:56,200 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 1: can't have any butt play whatsoever. Her bowels live on

1162
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: the whole, like you know. I saw a video the

1163
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 1: other day about anal sex and it says when men

1164
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,839
Speaker 1: go into other men there's three sphincter holes. I had

1165
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 1: learned that there were two sphincter holes. So when you

1166
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: have anal sex, there's one entryway and then there's a

1167
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 1: second entryway, and if they're really well endowed, there is

1168
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: a third entryway. But I think that's only applicable for

1169
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: men because they have a scrowed them and we do not. So,

1170
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 1: but for us, there are two anal entries one and

1171
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 1: then boo boom, depending on how big between. So there's

1172
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 1: ship wait, there's there's there who comes out one. No,

1173
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 1: there's like as deep as it goes, then there's like another.

1174
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:43,640
Speaker 1: It's like being in a like a labyrinth. There's one

1175
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 1: that's the entryway, and then if you have a big

1176
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 1: enough penis, there's a second anal opening in the same tunnel.

1177
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,439
Speaker 1: I think she has one, and that's the problem because

1178
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: I feel like it just drops in with like where

1179
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: we have to run the red like there's no time.

1180
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: It's like where she she pants, or like I have

1181
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 1: a birth effect in my mom never told me I

1182
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:08,919
Speaker 1: only have one. Every travel with a thermos in case

1183
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:14,959
Speaker 1: you need to take ad in. It should do um okay. Well,

1184
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: on that note, you guys, I just want to thank

1185
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: you guys for being here all the way from Canada.

1186
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:22,200
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you guys again in person.

1187
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: I hope that happens sooner than later. Thank you for

1188
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 1: being on the podcast. You were very entertaining. Thank you

1189
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: so much for having us. It was so nice to

1190
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 1: meet you, Catherine. I can't wait to see you guys again.

1191
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 1: I'm your biggest fan now. Yeah, thank you guys, really truly.

1192
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 1: Thanks girls, have a great day. Bye bye. And for

1193
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,440
Speaker 1: those of you who haven't seen my special on Netflix.

1194
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 1: It's out. Revolution is out and it's streaming. And I

1195
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 1: am announcing a new tour called the Little Big Bitch Tour.

1196
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 1: I am starting again in April. I announced a bunch

1197
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 1: of cities, so it's on my Instagram and my webs

1198
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 1: sight and whatever. But yes, I'm going back on the

1199
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 1: road in four months or whatever. I have a whole

1200
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 1: new show and a whole new thing and I'm gonna

1201
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,720
Speaker 1: go to Oorgain. I'm just a busy woman. I am.

1202
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 1: I am. There's a lot going on, So if you'd

1203
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at

1204
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is

1205
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio, executive produced by Nick Stuff,

1206
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.