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Speaker 1: You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi,

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Speaker 1: and welcome back to another episode of What in the Winkler.

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Speaker 1: Today's guest is Rumor Willis. She is an American actress.

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Speaker 1: She is also the eldest daughters of Bruce Willis and

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Speaker 1: Demi Moore, so we are both daughters of She is

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Speaker 1: a incredibly talented actress. She has been on Broadway. She

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Speaker 1: is an incredible dancer. And I'm so excited she's here.

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Speaker 1: Let's let her in. Hi, Hi, thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for doing this. I'm really grateful. I started this podcast

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Speaker 1: in our first episode aired on Halloween, so it's really new,

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Speaker 1: and it was supposed to be me and my mom.

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Speaker 1: She's wild and insane and the best. But she got

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Speaker 1: really sick and so she has not so literally she

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Speaker 1: did two episodes with me and then was in the

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Speaker 1: hospital basically until like a month ago or two weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: So and she's totally fine. She's made like a huge recovery,

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Speaker 1: which is like crazy and incredible and a miracle. But

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Speaker 1: so I've been doing it on my own and which

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Speaker 1: has been great. But like I was a teacher for

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Speaker 1: twelve years, like I'm a mom, I have a nonprofit,

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Speaker 1: like this was just like this is something new, so

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Speaker 1: thanks for doing it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, my pleasure.

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Speaker 3: It's I'm trying to I'm in the process of starting

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Speaker 3: one as well, and it's kind of like trying to

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Speaker 3: figure out it all out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's wild, and then they change, you know, it changes,

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Speaker 1: and you know. The craziest thing is like just keeping

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Speaker 1: a conversation going, like when it's obviously like we don't

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Speaker 1: have this problem, but sometimes it's like okay, like is

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Speaker 1: this conversation and then it works. It just like it

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Speaker 1: seems to be like interesting and fun. What's yours going

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Speaker 1: to be about?

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Speaker 3: I'm still kind of trying to figure that out because

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Speaker 3: I have I have my company Rumor has It, and

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Speaker 3: so I'm trying to figure out if I want it

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Speaker 3: to be separate of that and just call it Rumor

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Speaker 3: has It, or if I want something that's like totally different.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I have a crazy story about this. I got

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Speaker 1: a call from my kids' school and I volunteer there

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Speaker 1: all the time, like I'm a cue, and they were

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Speaker 1: like a package came for you, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: just open it, like I'm sure it's something for the

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Speaker 1: classroom whatever, and I got a picture from the head

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Speaker 1: of the elementary school, who thank god I love, with

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Speaker 1: her holding spicy cubes in her hand, and she was like,

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Speaker 1: what is this? What classes this for? And I was

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Speaker 1: like I want to die, like I would rather have

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Speaker 1: like my you know, like I just I died. And

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Speaker 1: she was like, you have to come get them, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, throw them in the trash. I never

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Speaker 1: want to see them again. I refuse to come to

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Speaker 1: your office and pick up my spicy cubes.

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Speaker 2: It was sae, but like is it a nice cube?

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Speaker 1: And now because now I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like I want to order this.

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Speaker 1: I know it's like this little cube and you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to put it in your coffee in the morning. So

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Speaker 1: I'll report back. I'll let you know how they worked.

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Speaker 1: So you are also an actress.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I mean you know it's as a also nepo baby,

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Speaker 3: like it's it's there's so much weird stuff that comes

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Speaker 3: with it because everybody's always like it must be so

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Speaker 3: hard in the shadow of your parents, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: but that's not really the shadow that I'm in. Like, right,

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Speaker 3: if I'm not talented, then it doesn't matter, right, Like

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Speaker 3: if I can't act or I can't do this.

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Speaker 1: Especially like in the arts, like matter. Why it's funny

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Speaker 1: because I was Kate Hudson is a good friend of

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Speaker 1: mine and our kids are best friends. And I was

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Speaker 1: watching an interview with her because I was like watching

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Speaker 1: her new show and she was somebody of course was

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Speaker 1: saying like that ba baby, and she was like, in

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Speaker 1: the arts it doesn't matter because yeah, I can get

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Speaker 1: your foot in the door, but if you're not talented,

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Speaker 1: no one's gonna watch you. Yeah, no one cares. It's

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Speaker 1: such an intesting conversation, like the NEPO baby world. Because

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Speaker 1: obviously you have two famous parents. I have one, although

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Speaker 1: I think my mom is more famous because she's just,

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Speaker 1: you know, amazing and insane, but in a very different circle.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know. For me, it was obviously it's

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Speaker 1: amazing and it comes with so many perks and privilege

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Speaker 1: and all the things. But like I felt, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know your family, but you guys seem super close.

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Speaker 1: And I have two brothers and more super close. And

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Speaker 1: when people would ask me, like, what's it like growing

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Speaker 1: up with your dad? I would literally not know how

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Speaker 1: to answer, because to me, he was just a normal dad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.

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Speaker 3: I think that there's this idea that my sisters and

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Speaker 3: I call it like a narpy, like not a real person,

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Speaker 3: that I think that people have this idea that if

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Speaker 3: you're famous, and I think, especially obviously, there was a

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Speaker 3: different era that I think of movie stars, right, and.

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Speaker 1: We talk about that all the time, there weren't that many.

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Speaker 3: There weren't that many, right, and you know, and even

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Speaker 3: your dad likes, there's people that are so iconic, right,

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Speaker 3: that kind of transcend the project that they were working on.

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Speaker 3: And I think that that doesn't happen anymore.

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Speaker 1: And so.

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Speaker 3: It's just a different era, right, And nowadays, I think

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Speaker 3: there just wasn't access in the way that there is now.

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Speaker 3: People weren't doing podcasts, we didn't have Instagram. People weren't

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Speaker 3: sharing our lives the way that all of us do now.

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Speaker 3: And so I think, yeah, but like it's just my dad, And.

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Speaker 1: It's like I think when I say that, sometimes people

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Speaker 1: look at me like I'm being slippant or rude or bitchy,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I'm just saying like because in

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Speaker 1: my answer would always be like, especially when I went

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Speaker 1: to college, I'd be like, well, well, what was like

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Speaker 1: with your parents? You know when I realized, But to

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Speaker 1: me it felt so normal. I now realize that, you know,

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Speaker 1: as as an adult. It's there are parts of it

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Speaker 1: that are not normal but normal to us. That's right,

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Speaker 1: thing normal to us?

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Speaker 3: Right, Like someone used to say, well, what was it

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Speaker 3: like growing up with famous parents? And it's like, well,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, because I don't I don't know anything

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Speaker 3: different than.

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Speaker 1: That, and I don't know them like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I have nothing really to compare it to. Right,

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Speaker 3: you know, my normal was I didn't go to a

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Speaker 3: full year of school until fifth grade because we were

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Speaker 3: traveling on set, you know. And there's obviously certain things

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Speaker 3: that my basic math is not great. But you know,

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Speaker 3: I got to go to really cool glass blowing museums

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Speaker 3: in the Czech Republic, you know, and weird cool experiences.

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Speaker 3: But I don't know, I think I think generally, I

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Speaker 3: think think it's I find it not annoying, because you know,

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Speaker 3: God love people. They are only doing as the best

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Speaker 3: that they can. But I find it frustrating sometimes when

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Speaker 3: that is the leading question of so what was it

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Speaker 3: like or how how must that have been? I can't

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Speaker 3: even imagine what your life is because in a lot

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Speaker 3: of ways, our lives are just like everybody else's. Most

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Speaker 3: parents were frustrated with you or you're worried about disappointing

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Speaker 3: them where you you know, if you don't finish your homework,

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Speaker 3: or your mean to your siblings. Right, like a lot

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Speaker 3: of the same.

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Speaker 1: Right. It's funny because also we grew up in a time.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know you're younger than me, but where

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Speaker 1: like if you were out and somebody was taking your

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Speaker 1: there was the paparazzi was totally different, and like our

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Speaker 1: family role was like we were not to be in pictures,

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Speaker 1: same the kids, and like they respected that that was

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Speaker 1: something that you know that there there was an unspoken

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Speaker 1: or actually i've spoken, like agreement that we would never

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Speaker 1: be in pictures. And I never wanted to be an

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Speaker 1: actress because I just like, I don't know, I went

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Speaker 1: the opposite. But my brother Max is like a director

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Speaker 1: and a writer and married an actress, and you know,

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Speaker 1: like so it's like and my older brother was a

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Speaker 1: manager for a long time. Now he's in music, but

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Speaker 1: like they both went into that world. And I I

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Speaker 1: really believe that part of why it didn't was because

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Speaker 1: I was so I had like this like insecurity where

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Speaker 1: I would like try to like prove to other people

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Speaker 1: that I was normal instead of just kind of like

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Speaker 1: being myself. And I wished that I had like I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I wished that I had just like been

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Speaker 1: who I was and done what I had wanted to do,

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Speaker 1: or you know what I mean. Like it's interesting.

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Speaker 3: Well I think it's challenging too, and I'm still working

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Speaker 3: on this at you know, I'm gone thirty seven this year,

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Speaker 3: so yeah, is and I feel so old, which is

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Speaker 3: what's so crazy, you know, have a few more kids

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Speaker 3: to have and then go for it, you know, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think. I I think when you grow up.

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Speaker 3: With a certain amount of privilege, both perceived and real, right,

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Speaker 3: I felt as a recovering people pleaser, even from a

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Speaker 3: very young age.

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Speaker 2: I felt this need to prove how.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't what everyone thought that I was.

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Speaker 1: I cannot tell you how much I relate, right, And

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Speaker 1: it's not like I was.

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Speaker 2: We weren't.

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Speaker 3: We didn't weren't handed credit cards as kids. We weren't

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Speaker 3: running around you know, having shoppings like.

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Speaker 2: Free for alls, right, right.

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Speaker 3: We still had you know, obviously had privilege that way,

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Speaker 3: but not in this kind of over consumption, irresponsible kind.

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Speaker 2: Of way that I think a lot of people perceive.

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Speaker 3: But walking into any room, I felt this. The pressure

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Speaker 3: and the shadow that I felt actually wasn't from my parents' talent.

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Speaker 2: It was from the privilege.

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Speaker 3: I don't deserve to be here because I haven't earned

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Speaker 3: it and I don't like I've always had an issue with,

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Speaker 3: especially being an actor, the amount of attention I was

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Speaker 3: getting in relation to the amount of work that I

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Speaker 3: was doing, you know, right where if you're this unknown

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Speaker 3: actress and then you become known because of your talent

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Speaker 3: and the work that you're doing, that to me was

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Speaker 3: always something that I craved but obviously couldn't have because.

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Speaker 1: You already had the attention.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the attention was that you know.

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Speaker 3: That I look awkward and my face is too large

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Speaker 3: for my body, and I'm you know, when I'm sixteen

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Speaker 3: years old and I'm like a little heavier in trying

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Speaker 3: to figure.

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Speaker 2: Out like you know, puberty and all of that.

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Speaker 1: But how amazing that you still did it like that,

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Speaker 1: that that attention sent me into like I couldn't. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't handle it, you know, I like literally couldn't. I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: It was too much. I was too I'm too sensitive,

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Speaker 1: I'm too like. And also what I always talk about

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Speaker 1: is like that you walked into a room or I

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Speaker 1: walked into a room, and we ever the people were

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Speaker 1: strangers to us, but to but to them, they knew,

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Speaker 1: they thought they knew everything about us. Yeah, And what

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Speaker 1: a up like position that is, because you're never on

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Speaker 1: equal ground ground, you know, and you're not like starting fresh,

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Speaker 1: like hey, I'm Zoe.

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Speaker 2: A thousand percent. Yeah. I think you know.

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Speaker 3: I think that is the thing that I feel like

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Speaker 3: I fight against all the time is just before I

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Speaker 3: walk into a room, there's already an assumption. And what

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Speaker 3: I used to get when you still could go into

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Speaker 3: a casting office.

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Speaker 2: For an audition.

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Speaker 3: Was these are my favorites. God, you're so much prettier

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Speaker 3: in person, which is to me such.

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Speaker 1: An insane thing.

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Speaker 3: Say. It's basically just saying you're not photogenic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're like, oh.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, and got you're you're so much nicer or

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Speaker 3: like you're at all what I expected. And I think

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Speaker 3: in my twenties that used to bother me. Now I'm like,

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Speaker 3: you know, whatever, what are you gonna do?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I think I feel like I've I feel like I've

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Speaker 3: made enough of.

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Speaker 2: Uh maybe not as maybe I don't think that i've.

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Speaker 1: Don't you paid your dues?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right not.

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Speaker 3: That's what happens when you have a child and you're

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Speaker 3: still breastfeeding. I feel like you can't remember and you

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Speaker 3: just start stuttering, I know.

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Speaker 1: And then when you get to forty four, you're like

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Speaker 1: impairing menopause and you also get just.

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Speaker 3: It would go this long where you're just like crazy.

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Speaker 3: I feel like there's still so much more I have

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Speaker 3: to do in terms of my acting career, and I

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Speaker 3: feel like people still don't quite know where to place me,

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Speaker 3: you know, because I really did myself a wildest service

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Speaker 3: in my twenties, and I had this justin Bieber short

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Speaker 3: jet black haircut, and I had all these tattoos and piercings,

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Speaker 3: and I remember my mom looking at me and going,

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Speaker 3: you know, you really should think about just dressing a

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Speaker 3: little bit more feminine, and.

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Speaker 2: Maybe not so.

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Speaker 3: In one style because people are going to put you

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Speaker 3: into a box.

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Speaker 2: I said, no, they're not.

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Speaker 3: Whatever.

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Speaker 2: Meanwhile, here I am.

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Speaker 3: For the majority of my twenties, the only roles I

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Speaker 3: got were a lesbian, a drug addict, someone who had

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Speaker 3: been sexually or emotionally abused.

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Speaker 2: You know, I think I.

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Speaker 3: Did my first period piece, like my first western literally

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Speaker 3: last year, and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, finally, yes I can I can dress like

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Speaker 2: a girl. Guys.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know I could do it all.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I'm still in this place where

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Speaker 3: I'm just not that I'm waiting to be given a chance,

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Speaker 3: but I'm I'm I'm hungry for the opportunity to find

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Speaker 3: a piece to show what I can do, because I

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Speaker 3: do think that I'm without sounding egotistical or cocky, like,

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Speaker 3: I do think that I have a talent for it

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Speaker 3: and a love for it and want to be able

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Speaker 3: to do it.

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Speaker 1: You know, your sisters also do the same thing you do,

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Speaker 1: or not really.

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Speaker 3: Scout is kind of dipping her toe in the water

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Speaker 3: right now, but mainly focused on music and tulula kind of,

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Speaker 3: you know, she dances around it sometimes.

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Speaker 1: And are you the oldest?

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Speaker 2: I am oldest of five girls.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy, that's so I mean, that's so fun. There's no,

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Speaker 1: it's just all girls.

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Speaker 2: I have posterone. It's insane.

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Speaker 1: I cannot imagine. You know, I have three boys, and

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Speaker 1: I grew up with two brothers, so like I never

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Speaker 1: had a sister, but the sister relationship. My husband has

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Speaker 1: three sisters, and their relationship is like so incredible, you know,

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Speaker 1: because it's just it's such a I mean, it's such

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Speaker 1: a unique experience. And if you don't have it, I

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Speaker 1: mean I have girlfriends and I'm super close to them,

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Speaker 1: but like having sisters just seems like such a a

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Speaker 1: wonderful thing.

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Speaker 2: It's really cool.

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Speaker 3: I mean they you absolutely bonkers and they're my best friends,

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Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, And they were there when I gave

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Speaker 3: birth to my daughter in my house, you know, they

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Speaker 3: like they were right there with me.

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Speaker 2: Couldn't have met anyone.

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Speaker 1: So you did a home birth?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And did you? Was it everything you wanted?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And you know, next time I do it, there's so

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Speaker 3: much more even that I would do differently and be

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Speaker 3: more I guess self sufficient the word. But when you

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Speaker 3: allow yourself to space obviously given the circumstances, if you

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Speaker 3: have you know, not a high risk birth, et cetera,

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Speaker 3: or pregnancy. I mean, it was incredible, It was amazing,

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Speaker 3: and I've never felt more capable or empowered in my

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Speaker 3: entire life.

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Speaker 1: I was the opposite. I was like to the point

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Speaker 1: where they like sent me home twice because I was like,

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Speaker 1: I need to be there at a certain time at

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Speaker 1: the hospital. I need the epidural. And then my first one,

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Speaker 1: I was sent home twice, but I'm like the most

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Speaker 1: anxious person you'll ever meet. And then my third literally

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Speaker 1: I had him in a in a closet at Cedars

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Speaker 1: because there were no rooms available, and he was so

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Speaker 1: and he flew out and I was like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: is he okay? Like did I need any switches? Like

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Speaker 1: is he? Like? Is he okay? Because he came out

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Speaker 1: so fast and he was like, of course, like eight

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Speaker 1: or nine pounds. But I was just my body was ready. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Once the first one, and this might sound crude, but

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Speaker 3: like truly, once the first one stretches you out like.

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Speaker 1: And also like your body just knows what to do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: It's like everything happens so differently with the second and

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Speaker 1: the third, and and it's it's I loved giving birth

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Speaker 1: and I did it differently than you, and I still

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Speaker 1: loved it, you know, like I feel like however you

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Speaker 1: do it is. So it's just such an incredible experience.

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Speaker 1: And then there's this like moment where it's just you guys,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it was such a special thing.

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Speaker 3: I but I bet I have so many feelings on

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Speaker 3: the whole kind of medical birth industry. But I think

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Speaker 3: for me, the biggest goal of what I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: create for women, especially with rumor has it, is an

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Speaker 3: ability to be informed, because I think it's severely lacking

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Speaker 3: informed consent is lacking having all the options. If you

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Speaker 3: walked up, given all of the options and said, you

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Speaker 3: know what I want to be on my back, give

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Speaker 3: me an epidural in a hospital, then and that's what

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Speaker 3: makes you feel the most comfortable, and you know all

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Speaker 3: of the like risk side effects blah blah blah, then great,

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Speaker 3: going right, do that. But I think for I didn't

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Speaker 3: know any There's just so many things.

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Speaker 1: There wasn't even a conversation really, And this was thirteen

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Speaker 1: years ago, and I gave a birth plan and they

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Speaker 1: were like, you know, and I had to repeat the

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Speaker 1: birth plan over and over and over and over and

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Speaker 1: over again, you know, like I didn't want the baby

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Speaker 1: going anywhere without me. I didn't want and it was

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Speaker 1: like a constant Do you know Carson Meyer at all?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just one of my good friends Okay.

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Speaker 1: So Sarah is one of my best friends, her older sister. Okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: And she was just telling me that Carson just wrote

357
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Speaker 1: a book and and like, Carson is such a wealth

358
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Speaker 1: of information that didn't exist when I was having babies

359
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Speaker 1: thirteen years ago, you know, oh.

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Speaker 3: One thousand percent. And look even and a lot of

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Speaker 3: people again don't have the privilege to have access to

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Speaker 3: that totally right yond, I had my doula is who

363
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 3: taught Carson, and so I had her name's Lori Bregman, and.

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Speaker 1: She was mine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love with my third.

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Speaker 1: She helped me with all three, but she was in

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Speaker 1: the room with my third. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: She's incredible, the best, the best and witchy and wonderful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, amazing.

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Speaker 3: You know, she helped me find my midwife and without

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Speaker 3: her like she I credit her so much for the

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Speaker 3: confidence that I was able to have in my birthing

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Speaker 3: situation because my mom was very nervous because the only

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Speaker 3: her home birth that she had been to was when

375
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Speaker 3: she was pregnant with me and it did not end well, right,

376
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 3: you know, so again there's just not access. So that's

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00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 3: ideally what I want to create is the next kind

378
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,919
Speaker 3: of step of rumor has it once I kind of

379
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 3: get it launched more formally, is having a community centered

380
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 3: space that is really focused on.

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Speaker 2: Answering questions for women?

382
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,400
Speaker 3: Is this normal because you can google a thousand things

383
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 3: or find resources, or if you can't get a hold

384
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 3: of your OB on the weekend, maybe there's an article

385
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 3: that you know can help you. If I used to

386
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 3: get and I'm a very anxious person as well, if

387
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 3: I couldn't feel lou kick me, I would freak out,

388
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, I was like, oh my gosh,

389
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 3: something's happened to her. She's dead, like you know, and

390
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 3: would go on this spiral and ended up going into

391
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 3: you know, the OB's office a couple of times to

392
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 3: get scanned when I probably didn't need to write.

393
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Speaker 2: And so I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I just I think that there's so many conversations that

395
00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 3: aren't had or people find and inappropriate to have about

396
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 3: breastfeeding or your vagina or you know, menopause. Like there's

397
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:10,679
Speaker 3: such a deficit for conversations around women's mental health, physical health,

398
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 3: sexual health.

399
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Speaker 2: It is baffling to me.

400
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 1: It's crazy. I was actually at a dinner last week

401
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: at Tuscana with a bunch of women that I love

402
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: and we're all very different, and we were talking about

403
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 1: we're all in our forties and we were talking about

404
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: hormones and like that there's zero I don't know anything

405
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 1: except for that. I was terrified that hormones, like you know,

406
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,719
Speaker 1: caused cancer or whatever. And people were saying that, like,

407
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,640
Speaker 1: but I have no information. And my friend was saying

408
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 1: that really the only place to even get proper hormone

409
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: care right now is on telehealth because the doctors are yeah,

410
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,920
Speaker 1: and I was like, wait, what this can't make this

411
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,439
Speaker 1: can't be. But you know, if you test your hormones

412
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: in that minute, to me, they're different, so you don't

413
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: get everyone will say like a doctor will say like, yeah,

414
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: you're good, you're all good, everything's normal, but you don't

415
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: feel and unless you're your own advocate.

416
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 3: Well, there's so much medical gas lighting there.

417
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,199
Speaker 1: It's crazy, it's crazy. And she was saying that, like

418
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,199
Speaker 1: most doctors will just be like, okay, here's you know,

419
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 1: maybe you shoutrain antidepressant and it's like that's not.

420
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 3: Such a progesterone or here's this right.

421
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 2: You're not monitored regularly.

422
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: Right, and that's not necessarily like what they need in

423
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: that moment. What they need in that moment is because

424
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 1: it's so being a woman is so emotionally taxing, physically taxing.

425
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 1: And I had Sarah Hoover on who wrote the book Motherlaw.

426
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: Did you read it?

427
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 3: Yeah?

428
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 1: I loved it so much. And there's no conversation about

429
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 1: anything postpartum. It's all about you read all these books

430
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 1: like to get you to the birth, but the birth

431
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 1: is always exactly the way.

432
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

433
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,919
Speaker 1: And it's also in a hospital with you know, like,

434
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,920
Speaker 1: these are the things and this is what you do,

435
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 1: and there's no conversation about like when you take the

436
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: baby home, even if you have help, even if you

437
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:10,360
Speaker 1: have to do right. I was terrified when Ace came home.

438
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: And I was a preschool teacher for twelve years and

439
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 1: obsessed with babies, and you know, I had a loving

440
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: partner who was so involved, and he would speak to

441
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 1: me and I literally would look at him and be like,

442
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 1: I don't know why you're weighing in and he'd be like, well,

443
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: it's my child, and I'd be like, that is.

444
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 2: That is a huge thing.

445
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 3: I totally understand in the It's just one of those

446
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 3: unfortunate things. Whether you have an amazing partner.

447
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 1: Or what yeah for the worst, Yeah, it doesn't matter.

448
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: Are useless right, And they don't know because they can

449
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: never It could never be like even if they're so

450
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 1: sensitive and kind and all the things, read a book like,

451
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. It's so like it's like primal almost well,

452
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 1: just a.

453
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 3: Mental load even on a day. I mean, I see

454
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,959
Speaker 3: so many memes about it on Instagram. Yeah guys who

455
00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 3: go like, you know, I saw few that we're talking about,

456
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 3: just the thought pattern of oh, I need to make snacks. Okay,

457
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 3: if I need to make snacks at this time, and

458
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,719
Speaker 3: you know, just getting out of the house or through

459
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 3: a day, has she eaten?

460
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 2: Did she have enough protein? Did you enough last night?

461
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 2: Is she sniffling?

462
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 3: You know, all of the crazy crazy things that it

463
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 3: doesn't even no clock.

464
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 1: It man, And when my husband goes to work, his

465
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 1: brain is on that, and like when I go to

466
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: work or when I do something, my brain is on

467
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 1: a thousand other things that all have to do with like,

468
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: oh wait, but is it's going to be picked up?

469
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 1: Jules has a game, you know, like all the things

470
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: and our brains are just going so quickly, and so

471
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 1: I think that that's amazing that you're going to start

472
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 1: this place where you can sort of come and get

473
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,439
Speaker 1: the information that you need. If you don't want to

474
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: just do it in the way that like is written

475
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 1: out for you, you know.

476
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 3: Well, and just again, it's all about having the information

477
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 3: or rights, all about having the information. If you want

478
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 3: to get vaccines if you don't, if you want to

479
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 3: homeschool your kid, if you want to take them to preschool,

480
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 3: if you want to get their ears pierced or not,

481
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 3: if you want to use cloth diapers.

482
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 2: Or you know whatever.

483
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 3: So many people outside weigh in on so many people's decisions.

484
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 3: Oh you're going to give birth in a hospital. Oh

485
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 3: you're going to die. Oh you're going to give birth

486
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 3: at home. Oh you're going to die, right.

487
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: And.

488
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 2: I don't.

489
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 3: I don't want a bunch of opinions on what I'm doing.

490
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,400
Speaker 3: I would like opinions if I'm asking for them from

491
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 3: the people that I'm asking them from. But you know,

492
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 3: I don't. I remember telling people I was having a

493
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 3: homebirth and the amount of people that looked at me like, well, what,

494
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 3: you're going to kill your baby, and just being like

495
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 3: I'm already, I don't.

496
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 2: That's I don't need.

497
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 1: That right ready? You know, I mean honestly, who does

498
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 1: need that? Like that's just like people are wild? But yeah,

499
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,919
Speaker 1: I mean it's crazy. See, it's like we already have

500
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,919
Speaker 1: enough going on in our minds, enough anxiety, enough doubt

501
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: as a human being.

502
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 3: By the way, I sleep with I go sleep with Luetta,

503
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 3: and have I've not spent a night away.

504
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 2: From her since she was born.

505
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 3: Maybe there have been I think maybe a two week

506
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 3: period when I was working on a film and just

507
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 3: straight up my nanny from when I was a little

508
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 3: girl was with me and took her out of my

509
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 3: bed because it was Arkansas in the middle of the summer,

510
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 3: and she was like, if you don't get some sleep

511
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 3: because I.

512
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 1: Had to pass out.

513
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,479
Speaker 2: So I ended up in the ear the first night

514
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 2: we were there from exhaustion.

515
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 3: So she was like, you can't do it right than that, Like,

516
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 3: you know, and how old is Luetta?

517
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 2: She'll be two in April.

518
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

519
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 3: I mean last night I literally had It's Kookie over

520
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: here right now.

521
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 2: Foster puppies. I'm sure one or both of them will end.

522
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: Up because in your home forever.

523
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 3: But I literally had my cat, my dog, Dolores, Luetta

524
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 3: this new dog. We're still figuring out her name, but

525
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 3: she looks like a house cow. I'm just calling her

526
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 3: house cow right now. And then it's little puppy in

527
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 3: a kennel all in my room last night and I

528
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 3: was like, man, I'm really living my farm.

529
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: You really, you really are. You're out of la for sure.

530
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: My seven year old sleeps with us every night.

531
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, I know that.

532
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 3: I see all these moms who sleep train and do

533
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 3: all this stuff.

534
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 2: And by the.

535
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: Way, I did it and it didn't work. I mean

536
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 1: I did for the other two, but it really just

537
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 1: depends on who your kid is. Like my middle would

538
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: never if I get in his bed, he's like, I'm good, mom,

539
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: Like can you get out? You know, Like he's just

540
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: like he likes the space, is who he is. I

541
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: can lay there for like two seconds, scratches back and

542
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: he's like, okay done. Yeah. My youngest, like he just

543
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 1: is his attachment is different and it showed in a

544
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: different way, and like he needs to sleep with us,

545
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: and I know that about him, and I know it

546
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: won't last forever. You know, He's not going to be like.

547
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 2: That's the thing. It's not.

548
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, I hope lou like will still sleep

549
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 3: in bed with me when she's my age.

550
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 2: I still sleep in bed with my mom.

551
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And I think it's weird.

552
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,439
Speaker 3: We all still take baths together, my sisters and I.

553
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 3: And that's just the kind of house that I grew

554
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,919
Speaker 3: up in. Right, people might think that that's crazy and weird,

555
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 3: but I don't because I don't know.

556
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 2: I always think about it.

557
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,879
Speaker 3: Imagine if you took a like you had a baby

558
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,640
Speaker 3: gorilla or a dog when it was two weeks old,

559
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 3: three months old, whatever, and had it sleep in a

560
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 3: different room than mom, Like, everyone would look at you

561
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 3: like you were crazy. But yet we're like, oh no,

562
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 3: that can sleep through the night.

563
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: Right, it's got a.

564
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 3: Fend for themselves. Yeah, I got to learn how to

565
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 3: self soothe. They can't even feed themselves, but they need

566
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 3: to figure out. By the way, we as adults don't

567
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 3: even know how to self soothe. I know, we think

568
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 3: about any situation that we have we call a friend.

569
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 3: People drink wine, people do drugs, people eat an entire

570
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 3: you know, tub of ice cream.

571
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, nobody has the nobody has like the magic sauce

572
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: of like how to self See.

573
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 2: Oh, we're not yeah too. We relate to people you.

574
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: Know, right, right, and so do you are you gonna

575
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: what's your plan if rumor has it?

576
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 2: Just to like, well the website.

577
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 3: So I launched it already, but we're under construction right

578
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 3: now because there's gonna be a women's mother baby home

579
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 3: and men's section.

580
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love if there's a men's section.

581
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I feel like the men.

582
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's just something I I've always loved curating. I've

583
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 3: always loved being a treasure hunter of cool and different things.

584
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 3: My goal is to really aim to have everything on

585
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 3: my website because it's something that I started getting really

586
00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 3: persnickety about when I got pregnant to have an under

587
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 3: three rating on like the EWG app because I think

588
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 3: endocrine disruptors are one of the largest things affecting women's health,

589
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 3: especially reproductive health, and so much of that is in

590
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 3: fragrance and so much of our face products, shampoo, conditioner, perfume, candles,

591
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 3: and so I've been trying to work through. I had

592
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 3: to take a lot of stuff off the site because

593
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 3: I just felt like I couldn't, you know, I didn't

594
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 3: want to share something that I don't.

595
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: Use yourself use, Yeah, yeah, so.

596
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: It's something I really pride myself on. Everything that's on

597
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 3: the site is something that I have in my home

598
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 3: and use myself.

599
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: I actually just saw like something on Instagram or something

600
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: that said that hair products are like the number one

601
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: and that it goes directly into your brain. Yeah. I

602
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 1: never I mean, I think I'm using the right hair.

603
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like subscribe because I need to know.

604
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 3: There's an at called Pink Dirty, and there's also one

605
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 3: called EWG and you just type in. I mean, I

606
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 3: don't really wear makeup. I don't put either.

607
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,960
Speaker 1: I'm not even wearing any right now, which she feel

608
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 1: like is yeah, but I mean, yeah, you.

609
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 2: Know what I mean.

610
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 3: I like will occasionally get eyelash extensions. Obviously I dye

611
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 3: my hair, but yeah, which is probably not great.

612
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: But you know, I mean I do the like Brazilian

613
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 1: of my hair, which is probably horrible, but I just

614
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: like need to not have like gross hair. My hair

615
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: got like weird curly after but it's like not curly

616
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: in a cute way. It's like curly and weird places

617
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: after I had kids, and I'm like, I just need

618
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 1: to shower and get out. I need to get my

619
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: three kids to school so much gray. Yeah, me too.

620
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: I've never colored it yet, but I need to. My

621
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: mom has like the perfect redhead sauce that comes to

622
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: her house, and I'm obsessed with her. So I like

623
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: know that I have when I need it. But I

624
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: sit in the carpool line and I like use a

625
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: tweezer and I pull them out, which is the worst

626
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: thing to do because then they just grow back.

627
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 2: And yeah, I felt like.

628
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 3: I see all of these ones on the top of

629
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 3: my head, and I'm like, is this breakage?

630
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 2: Is this? But I have so much new.

631
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:13,959
Speaker 3: Growth it ends up looking right. Well.

632
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,719
Speaker 1: Also, you just had a baby, I mean you know,

633
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: so that is your hair is gonna.

634
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, because all this goes away when you have a kid.

635
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially also with the breastfeeding. It just like took

636
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: everything out of me. But I loved it so much.

637
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 3: I know, it's funny. I'm at that point where it's

638
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,959
Speaker 3: so convenient and easy and also sometimes I'm like, I

639
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 3: just want to sleep through the night.

640
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know it's a hard decision, but I remember.

641
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: I remember with Ace, I didn't have enough milk, and

642
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 1: then it was my second and my third I did.

643
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: But it's the same thing as like a home birth,

644
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: a hospital birth. It's like there's all this judgment around it.

645
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: And I always said to my friends because I really

646
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: loved it and I wanted to do it as long

647
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: as I could because I enjoyed it. It was something

648
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 1: that like it was something that I could do. But

649
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 1: if you give your kid formula, like great, if you

650
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: breastfeed your kid, great, whatever works for you. There's no

651
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 1: point in doing something that you can't do or that

652
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: is causing you like a mental strain, like yeah, do

653
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: whatever works for you. And I don't know, I don't

654
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: know if it's just I mean, I'm sure our parents

655
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: felt this too, but it just feels like there's it's

656
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: there's so much judgment now because it's everything is available

657
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: for discussion, or it wasn't before.

658
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 2: You know.

659
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: I'm really struggling with my Instagram is private, and everyone's like, well,

660
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: if you want to have like a big podcast, you

661
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: got to go public. And I'm really struggling with and

662
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, the podcast is public, you know, like

663
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 1: that's a public account. But I'm really struggling with my

664
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 1: kids because like do I put them out there? Do

665
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: I not? You know, you do it's hard. And when

666
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 1: they're little, it's like they're just cute and they're funny.

667
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 1: But as they become like humans and they have their

668
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 1: I mean, they're still human when they're too, but they're no,

669
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 1: it's you know, like I don't want like the the

670
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 1: anxiety I have is like if someone judges my kids,

671
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: like I am not okay with that, Like I will

672
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: just fight with someone, you know, like.

673
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 3: I'm like, I mean, I'm with you there, I think.

674
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 3: You know. Look, I didn't show Lutta's face for the

675
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 3: first year of for Life, and I didn't think that

676
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 3: I was going to, you know, and then I just thought,

677
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 3: I'm such an open person. I'm and I share so much,

678
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 3: Like it felt really hard for me to not share the.

679
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 2: Piece that I'm the most proud of. Yeah, but I

680
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 2: love the most, you know. It made me think so much.

681
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,320
Speaker 3: More about Instagram and maybe spend so much more time

682
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 3: figuring out how to do it as opposed to just

683
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 3: sharing myself in the way that I do.

684
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 2: And so I, you know.

685
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 3: Made a decision, and I'm really grateful that I did.

686
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 3: At the end of the they the unfortunate reality is

687
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 3: because of who I am and because of who her

688
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 3: grandparents are. No matter what I do, are going to

689
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 3: have an opinion about her and about how I'm raising her,

690
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 3: what I'm doing. People get on me all the time

691
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 3: about that I'm still breastfeeding her, right and I feel

692
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 3: like as opposed to sheltering her.

693
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously I'm not.

694
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 3: Going to push naked pictures of her now, of course,

695
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 3: of course, you know, But I think my more important

696
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 3: job as a mother is to give her the tools

697
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 3: to have such.

698
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:47,240
Speaker 2: Unwavering confidence and value.

699
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,959
Speaker 3: That it doesn't matter what other people say. Because that

700
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 3: was was and still is some of my biggest challenge

701
00:35:56,160 --> 00:36:00,080
Speaker 3: right me too, No, even now, like I posted something

702
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 3: I can't remember the other day and I felt so

703
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 3: pretty and people were just coming at me so hard

704
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 3: and being about how I looked, about whether or not

705
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:15,080
Speaker 3: I had a job and all of it, and you know,

706
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 3: that's just the reality. Unfortunately, that is just the world

707
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 3: that we live in. There's nothing I can do about it.

708
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 3: If at any point she says to me, I don't yeah,

709
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,479
Speaker 3: of course, of course, you know, but you know, and again,

710
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 3: who knows, I'm not making any hard.

711
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 1: Just for right now, right now, right now, this is.

712
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 3: What works and That's how I really also try and

713
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 3: hold most things for right now.

714
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 2: This is what's working for us.

715
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: You can always go back, yeah, and you could always

716
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 1: make a different choice, exactly. Yeah, that's something that I

717
00:36:50,520 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 1: am struggling with in this. But I mean, my private

718
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: has like four thousand people on it, so it's not

719
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,359
Speaker 1: like it's like, you know, just my best friends. You know,

720
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 1: I just don't let anyone in. That's a complete stranger.

721
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: But like, I don't know, it's a very I noticed

722
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: because my parents did everything they could to instill in

723
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,840
Speaker 1: me a sense of self and you know, my dad's

724
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: this day. It's like every time I do anything, like

725
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 1: if I'm like, you know what, I'm not gonna do

726
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 1: this anymore, I'm not gonna drink coke anymore, something dumb,

727
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: And then like one day we'll go by and say that, No,

728
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: I'll say it to him. I'll be like I'm not

729
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: gonna drink coke anymore, or something like whenever. This is

730
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 1: just an example, but like this is like this is

731
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 1: my life. So I'll be like I didn't you know,

732
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,399
Speaker 1: If I say to my husband, like I didn't drink

733
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: any coke today, He's like, okay, great, Like make it

734
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: a week and we'll discuss. My Dad's like, you didn't

735
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 1: drink it today. You're amazing. You are incredible, you know,

736
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: like anything I do, if I like take a breath,

737
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: you know, and then I.

738
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,879
Speaker 3: Like really silly that way I feel like, I mean,

739
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 3: I've never met yourself.

740
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:08,240
Speaker 1: He's the most loving, Like he's just I can't explain.

741
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 1: He calls me like I put it. The other day,

742
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 1: I was giving a tour at my kids' school. He

743
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: called me seven times in a row and I called

744
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: him back and I was like, is everything okay? He's like, yeah,

745
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: I just had a quick question for Disney World. I

746
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: was like what, Like this is like what He's just

747
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: very very loving. My mom is also loving, but tough.

748
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: My mom is tough. So it's like they're.

749
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,720
Speaker 2: Very you know, yeah, totally.

750
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: So it was like, you know, my mom and I

751
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: struggled to get along to me.

752
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like this, yeah, and remember, give me a

753
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 2: call back.

754
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love you. It's you.

755
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, like as if we weren't sure, But so much

756
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: of my identity is in them, you know, Like so

757
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: much of my identity is you know, who my dad is.

758
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: And that was like what I that was how I

759
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: valued myself. It was like I knew that if like

760
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: somebody wasn't going to be nice to me, they'd be

761
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 1: nice to me once they saw him. And so like

762
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: I almost like the difference like when you would walk

763
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: into a restaurant by yourself and then they would walk

764
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 1: in after was like night and day, Like we don't

765
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 1: have a table, Oh my god, we have ten tables

766
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 1: here you go, you know, like, and I've.

767
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,720
Speaker 3: Noticed it is definitely some mind.

768
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe we should do a nepotism podcast.

769
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 2: Maybe it's tough.

770
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,479
Speaker 3: And it's funny because if anyone hears you say it's tough,

771
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:37,479
Speaker 3: they're like you.

772
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: How dare you? Yeah? Oh my god, so spoiled.

773
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 3: But it's interesting because there's a population of us that

774
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 3: only we can really understand certain aspects of what it's like.

775
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: You can only relate because it's like you can try

776
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 1: to explain it. There's nothing you can really explain because

777
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: it's not just the things or the access, like the

778
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: it's the mental toll that it takes on you as

779
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 1: a person because you're just like, wait, am I enough?

780
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: Because two minutes ago I wasn't and now I am.

781
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 3: By way, imagine you know, I've been going to the

782
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 3: Oscar parties with you know, my mom for years, and

783
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 3: there were years where I would walk by, even with her,

784
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 3: and people could not give I was so invisible and

785
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 3: I would leave feeling like, God, am I just like worthless?

786
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 2: Am I?

787
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 3: You know?

788
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 2: And then it was just interesting this year. Obviously it

789
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 2: was so different.

790
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 3: It was and everyone's like, oh, your mom, your mother,

791
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 3: and blah blah blah, and that can really no matter

792
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,760
Speaker 3: how many tools do you have, that can really mess

793
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 3: with you, especially not only being a child of but

794
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 3: this being in my industry, like trying to also be

795
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 3: successful here and feeling like in a woman, Yeah, how

796
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 3: do I how do I navigate this in a way

797
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 3: that feels like I belong here?

798
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: Right? My brother, you know, won't even like it's like

799
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 1: he he didn't. It's just like it's he's like nope,

800
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna you know, he doesn't. He won't

801
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,319
Speaker 1: even engage in the conversation because everyone's like, you know,

802
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,240
Speaker 1: trying to compare or even like there was this people

803
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 1: thing on Instagram that like, I think they look so

804
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: much alike, you know, and and then there were just

805
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 1: people ripping him apart. You know, like and just like,

806
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: no he doesn't look anything like him and no, no, no nepotism.

807
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,439
Speaker 1: And I literally but this is where like I go.

808
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: I just started replying and then I'm like what do

809
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: I do? And like horrible things. I was like, who

810
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 1: are you you? This is a human being. And then

811
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, what am I doing? Why am I

812
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 1: engaging with these people? You know? But I'm so protective

813
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 1: over those that I love. Say whatever you want about me,

814
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: but like if you go after my brother, my dad,

815
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: my mom, you know, I'll lose my mind, my kids.

816
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 2: But also just why, you know, why is that?

817
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: Okay?

818
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 2: Oh my god?

819
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 3: Someone said something about Luetta the other day on a

820
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 3: post there was they were like does she have down syndrome?

821
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 2: And or or said something. And then there's another one

822
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 2: saying like something.

823
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 3: About her being an ugly baby, and I just you know,

824
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 3: I I was speechless.

825
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: I literally yeah, because it's so insane. But then you

826
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: realize people think it that that you have the right

827
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 1: to like, you know, I'm I'm so I'm always blown away.

828
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,840
Speaker 1: And there's this definitely like a certain there's a certain

829
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: line that is just like and then you're just like

830
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 1: you don't have access to me just because you can't

831
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 1: say anything you want to me just because I'm I'm

832
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: in the public eye or you know. That's why that's

833
00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:55,800
Speaker 1: my fear.

834
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, look, you can do something which I've done,

835
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 3: which I find helpful, which is that you can turn

836
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 3: off people's ability to comment if they don't follow you.

837
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't have just a bunch of random thoughts.

838
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 1: Or hater just in life. It's just crazy.

839
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, look again, that's just yeah, in a

840
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 3: certain way, even though it sometimes is painful.

841
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,399
Speaker 2: Like I don't read comments. Now there's a Daily Mail

842
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 2: article I do. I do not read the comments anymore.

843
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 3: Right, two times when I was little, like right, God knows,

844
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:29,800
Speaker 3: I'm shocked that I like, didn't.

845
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, like crazy? You know, I know,

846
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 1: adult's crazy, don't saying too Yeah, seen year old kid, Yeah,

847
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: being like crazy, you're so ugly, you look like a man.

848
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 2: And I'm literally like they must be right, right, you know,

849
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 2: And I walking through the world like that. I'm honestly, I.

850
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 3: Don't know if I would have made it through social

851
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 3: media if I was me.

852
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: Neither not ever I worry about that. Ace just got

853
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: it my thirteen year old. But I just got him

854
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,840
Speaker 1: Instagram and we have rules on it and he's private

855
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 1: and he had to like earn it. But he was

856
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 1: the last of his friends. And I'm terrified also like

857
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,400
Speaker 1: just being like left out of a party, which is

858
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: like part of life, you know.

859
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 3: I think that's why I'm literally going to become one

860
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 3: of those like crazy people who just has like a

861
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 3: flip phone, no, like a commune with oh yeah, home

862
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 3: schooling and well, let.

863
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:19,839
Speaker 1: Me know and I'll come.

864
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm you know, I just.

865
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 3: The idea for having a cell phone or social media.

866
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 3: And mind you, I have two sisters that are, oh

867
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 3: my god, thirteen and eleven now, which is crazy, and

868
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 3: the idea of lou having a phone at eleven or

869
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 3: have I mean, we don't do iPads in this house.

870
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 1: The contraband pads are so bad. Yeah, And they say

871
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 1: that it's going to be like the smoking of our generation,

872
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 1: our parents generation like that, you know, especially for like

873
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: my kids who grew up in the pandemic, like they

874
00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 1: had to have them. That's how they did school, that's

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00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: they did, you know, and that I noticed. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's that's a whole other that's a whole other huge.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I won't do it.

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Speaker 3: I mean I even noticed in the last like month

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Speaker 3: or two of even letting her watch you know, some

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Speaker 3: Disney that's the only thing we watch. I used to say,

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Speaker 3: no movies even, and then of course she would go

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Speaker 3: to her yeah Yah's house and all the contraband all

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Speaker 3: that's their.

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Speaker 2: Job, you know.

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Speaker 3: And so now he's like Molana Moana.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 3: And I tried to turn it off the other day

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00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,800
Speaker 3: and she yelled at me, and I was like, nope,

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Speaker 3: we're hiatus.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well you're amazing because I definitely turn on

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Speaker 1: the movies. My thirteen year old is watching Arrested Development

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00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 1: right now. It's just so funny. He loves it. He

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00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: like watches it. Me and Rob and Ace watch it

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00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 1: at night after the other gets a bed. Well, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for doing this. You're the best.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my pleasure.

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Speaker 1: I'm really grateful that we got to talk you too.

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Speaker 1: It was so fun and I wish you the best

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Speaker 1: of luck with rumor has it. I'm so excited. Thank you, Hie,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining me on another episode

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00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 1: of What in the Winkler. Please tell a friend like it,

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Speaker 1: follow it and i'll see you next week.