1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 2: This week's Thursday Therapy, we've got Vivian two. So she 3 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 2: has a new book coming out. It's called Rich af 4 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 2: The Winning Money Mindset that will Change your Life. I 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 2: know we've had a lot of money people on here, 6 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,159 Speaker 2: but I have a feeling she's going to have a 7 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 2: whole new twist on it. So you can pre order 8 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,799 Speaker 2: as available now. It's going to be released December twenty sixth, 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 2: twenty twenty three. So she is basically a mentor. She 10 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: gives no Bs advice on how to think like a 11 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 2: rich person and create smart money habits. So let's all 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 2: think rich and get her on. Hey girl, Hey, I'm Jana. 13 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: It's so nice to meet you. 14 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:43,639 Speaker 3: Janna, It's so nice to meet you too. 15 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 2: I'm excited to have you on on this week's Thursday 16 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 2: Therapy because for me, honestly money, I've talked about it 17 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: a lot, and I know people on this one are like, 18 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 2: all right, you know, another money person, but I'm like, no, Like, 19 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 2: I love what you do because you're definitely in more 20 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 2: of like the gen Z world. You're on TikTok, You're 21 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 2: doing all that and you know, we've had the older, 22 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 2: wiser people come on that have been fantastic with you know, 23 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,839 Speaker 2: with their their books and their money. But just reading 24 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 2: your breakdown to You've got a new book coming out 25 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 2: called Rich af The Winning Money Mindset that will Change 26 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 2: your life. And again listeners have heard me say this 27 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: on repeat. I have a very like scarcity mindset of money. 28 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 2: I didn't grow up with it, and so I just 29 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 2: I sometimes act as if I'm well, I'm always scared 30 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 2: of losing it, right, because I'm like, well, maybe it'll 31 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 2: never come back, And so I just I like kind 32 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 2: of like hoard at times too. And so when you 33 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 2: know you were saying basically you know, tips to think rich, 34 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 2: and I'm like, all right, let's. 35 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 3: Just go dive deep. 36 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 2: How like, how do you how do you do that 37 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 2: when you're also scared of well, I don't know when 38 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 2: where the money's coming in, when it's going to come in, 39 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 2: if it's going to come in, and I have to 40 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 2: pay for this, that like all the things. How do 41 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: you think that when you already feel like you've got 42 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 2: a pile of you know, rocks on your chest. 43 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's two main things. And I'll explain them. 44 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: First and foremost, it's automating your life so that your 45 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: life can take care of you. And two, it's something 46 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: that I had to learn in you know, my early 47 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 1: twenties as a young woman, and it's that not everyone 48 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: is out to get you, Like just because somebody else 49 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 1: succeeds does not mean you have lost. So to the 50 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: point of automation, I think things become a lot less 51 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: stressful when you know that you have a parachute or 52 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: an eject button or something just to keep you safe. 53 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: And I think that really starts with having an emergency fund. 54 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: I say this not as someone who's just like theoretically 55 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: talking about an emergency fund, but someone who's had to 56 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: use one. When I was bright eyed and bushy tail, 57 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: it was my second year in New York City. You know, 58 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: everything was going great. I was working on Wall Street. 59 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,919 Speaker 1: Me and my roommate had a great first year living together. 60 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: So we decided to move out of that apartment but 61 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: still together, into a new apartment. I had, you know, 62 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: been dating this new guy. I was just really excited 63 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: about life. And the very first weekend that I was 64 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: in this apartment, I actually wasn't there because I was 65 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: in Chicago. I went to the University of Chicago and 66 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: it was I don't know, it's like not like alumni weekend. Yeah, 67 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,839 Speaker 1: maybe like alumni weekend. And it was a reason why 68 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: a bunch of people were going back to campus, and 69 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: it was I was having so much fun and I 70 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: get this text from my roommate, Hey, when you get 71 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: back into town, we had to like sit down and 72 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: have a conversation. And as a millennial, getting that text, 73 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: let me just go ahead and tell you it ruined 74 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: my weekend because I was anxious the whole time. And 75 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, are you mad at me? What's going on? 76 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: And she's like, no, it's nothing like that. She's like, 77 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: come home and we'll talk. 78 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, I can just tell me, like like I 79 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 2: don't like that, just just tell me, like are we good? 80 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 3: Like are we good? 81 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: And so I come back and it's like so ominous, 82 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: and I'm like what, Like what's wrong? And she's like, 83 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: so the very first night that I slept in our 84 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: new apartment, you know, she's like, the lights were all off, 85 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: but I was watching a little bit of like Netflix 86 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: on my phone or whatever, and she's like and it 87 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: was around midnight and I got up out of bed 88 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 1: and I went to the bathroom to go to the bathroom, 89 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,039 Speaker 1: like to use the toilet right before I went to sleep, 90 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: and I flipped on the light and I saw a 91 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: thousand little things scurry away. Yeah, and I am someone 92 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,120 Speaker 1: who like will put a cup over a bug and 93 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 1: then the bug owns the apartment. Now, like I don't 94 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: know where I have to go live somewhere else. And 95 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: to hear that come out of her mouth, I would 96 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,679 Speaker 1: have rathered her tell me that she hated my guts 97 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: or that we were having a big flight. I was like, 98 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: this is like worst possible case scenario. And as much 99 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: as we tried to fight, we fought the property manager, 100 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: our landlord, everything, we ended up paying two months of 101 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,840 Speaker 1: rent break our lease and that was eight thousand dollars. 102 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: And it's not fair, not at all. But you know what, 103 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: like we were young twenty somethings, both of us were 104 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 1: working on Wall Street. Neither of us had the hour, 105 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: like the hours, or the time or the energy to 106 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: fight this in small claims court. 107 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: Right then you're going to lose money paying for lawyers, 108 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 2: so then relate. 109 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: It's it's going to be a wash. So she and 110 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: I decided to eat it. And it was four thousand 111 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: dollars from her, four thousand dollars for me. And that 112 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: was my entire emergency event. And that was a really 113 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: scary moment because I didn't have much more than that. 114 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: And to feel like I had worked an entire year 115 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 1: on Wall Street, where I'm putting in these fourteen to 116 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: sixteen hour days, to have absolutely nothing to show for 117 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,479 Speaker 1: it three hundred and sixty five days later was a 118 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: gut punch. And so I'll say that that moment sucked, 119 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: but that moment would have sucked ten times more if 120 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,840 Speaker 1: we couldn't afford to break our lease, if we had 121 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: to living in an apartment that was dangerous. There was 122 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: literally like there were literally cockroaches dying in our ice tray, 123 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,720 Speaker 1: so like they were clearly getting into our fridge, into 124 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: our food, into our dishwasher, into our clothes, like everything. 125 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: And it was not only scary and horrible for our 126 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: emotional and mental health, but like physically like that that 127 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,280 Speaker 1: was like an actual like toxicity and like bacterial concern. 128 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 2: Well you can't sleep too, like you know what I mean. 129 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 2: Like I remember one time when I was in La 130 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 2: I put my foot into one of my little slide 131 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 2: on shoes and it was there was a cockroach in there, 132 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,840 Speaker 2: and then I felt, I mean it climbed. I mean 133 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,839 Speaker 2: it's to this day it gives me, I'm like, oh, 134 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 2: like and I couldn't sleep. And then because I'm like, 135 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 2: is it going to show up next to my bed? 136 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 2: Is it gonna you know? Is it gonna come in? Disgusting? 137 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: And when you find one, you know there's a bill 138 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: in the wall. So it's just it was a horrible situation, 139 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: but it's really important to automate your life so that 140 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: you have a parachute that you can jump out of 141 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: the plane and you'll be Okay. Did it suck to 142 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: blow all of my money on breaking a lease of 143 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: a horrible, terrible apartment? Yes? Did I feel an immense 144 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: amount of relief after she and I vacuum sealed our 145 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: clothes into a bag air tight for basically seven days, 146 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: moved into a new apartment and never saw a cockroache again? Yes, 147 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: of course it put me in a much better place. 148 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: And then two, I think something that a lot of 149 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: regular people and particular women struggle with is we're haters 150 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: and you don't have to be an out loud hater 151 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: to be a hater. You don't have to be the 152 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: troll commenting you're ugly on somebody's Instagram post to be 153 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: a hater. It's when you see something good happen for 154 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: someone else and you can't even be happy for them. 155 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: You feel like any sort of good thing happening for 156 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: someone else takes away from the good things that can 157 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 1: happen to you. That is being a hater. And let 158 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: me tell I was the ultimate hater in my twenties. 159 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: In my early twenties, I will say because one I 160 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: worked in an incredibly competitive environment. There were very few women, 161 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: and any time I would see someone else like buying 162 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: for an opportunity, it felt like, you know, I needed 163 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: to do the same thing, and if I didn't get it, 164 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: like that was bad. Like I think that was a 165 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: creation of my environment. You know. I had to compete 166 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: against two other interns for my full time seat and 167 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: I beat them out for it, and I always felt 168 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: like there was someone coming around the corner, like it 169 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: was just like so scary for me, Like to constantly 170 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:51,320 Speaker 1: feel like the scarcity mindset. And as I've kind of 171 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 1: grown up and grown into my own skin one, I 172 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,839 Speaker 1: find that I'm a lot more self assured. And it's 173 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: been proven to me time and time again. Just because 174 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: one door closes doesn't mean that there won't be other 175 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: doors down the road that another window won't open for you. 176 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: And I think that's something that we just like need 177 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: to emotionally train ourselves to understand better, because as the 178 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: child of immigrants, it was really hard to feel that 179 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: way for a very long time. 180 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I couldn't imagine that piece of it. I mean, 181 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 2: I linly, this is not the same at all. I 182 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 2: single mom, grown up, so it's like, yeah, not having 183 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 2: like the money. So it's like my mom, you had 184 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 2: to work a bunch of jobs, and like we couldn't 185 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 2: do a lot of things we wanted to do because 186 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 2: and we'd have you know, the I always said, it's 187 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 2: too even in my twenties, like I'd frozen tiketos every 188 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 2: day for a year, I'd steal toilet paper from a restaurant. 189 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 2: Like it's just you know, it's like it's when you 190 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 2: kind of grow into that. It's like I feel like 191 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 2: that stayed with me at least in my adulthood. So 192 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 2: was that immigrant piece too, that does that still make 193 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 2: you feel that way even now older. 194 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: Percent you know that there's like this research that basically 195 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: shows that your brain after age seven is more of 196 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: like a rock, but before age seven, your brain is 197 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: a sponge. It just that's why it's so much easier 198 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: to learn multiple different languages. And it's not strange to 199 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 1: see some five year old speaking three different languages, like 200 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 1: talking to his parents, talking to his grandparents, talking to 201 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,680 Speaker 1: a nanny, talking to the tutor like in a bunch 202 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 1: of different languages. And it's a lot harder to find 203 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: an adult who can do the same in the same way. 204 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: In the same vein, you develop a lot of your 205 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: money habits young and I grew up the child of 206 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:48,079 Speaker 1: two my grandparents. I was born on US soil, so 207 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: you know, I've got a blue pass support and I 208 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: think in one way that has given me a lot 209 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 1: of power and entitlement, but not in the bad way, 210 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 1: in the way that I feel like I belong here. 211 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: I deserve everything that I have worked hard for. There's 212 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: no one who can take that away from me. I 213 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,439 Speaker 1: deserve to be on the soil. But in the other vein, 214 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 1: when my parents moved to the US, I was actually, 215 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: you know, I was their first child, their only child, 216 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: and I was basically sent back to China to live 217 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:28,199 Speaker 1: with my grandparents for two three years before coming back 218 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: to live with my parents because they couldn't afford it. 219 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: They couldn't afford the child care, they could not afford, 220 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: you know, frankly, to clothe or feed me in the 221 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: right way, and they wanted to get their financial footing. 222 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,200 Speaker 1: And so I think, you know, growing up with your 223 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: grandparents is amazing, but I think there is something to 224 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: be said that, Like, I didn't live with my parents 225 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: for the first two years of my life, and I 226 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 1: think there's also something to be said about growing up 227 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: and feeling other. I would say that I grew up 228 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: at the very beginning I would say lower middle class, 229 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: and by high school I would say upper middle class. 230 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: And I always felt like I needed to keep up 231 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: with my predominantly white peers, and it made me very 232 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 1: insecure because I would try to wear the same clothes 233 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 1: and do the same activities, but I wasn't able to 234 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 1: change the way I looked and because of that, I 235 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 1: think I used spending money as a way to compensate. So, 236 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: you know, I was that girl who wanted to go 237 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: to the mall every single weekend to get the newest 238 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 1: T shirt, the newest dress, the new whatever. And the 239 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: biggest fight my mom and I ever got into it 240 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: was over a pair of Abercrombie and Fitch ripped jeans. 241 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 3: Who you wanted to fit in? 242 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,600 Speaker 1: I wanted to fit in so bad? And I came 243 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: home and my mom saw the receipt in the bag. 244 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 2: And back then too, like I wasn't alloted shop at 245 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 2: amercram Base. I mean those are like fifty dollars pants, 246 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 2: Like are you out of your mind? 247 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 3: Yeah? 248 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to say. This was like right around 249 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,840 Speaker 1: like nine, and obviously I was like young. I didn't 250 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: understand it, Like. 251 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 4: The housing crisis was like happening, and my parents were 252 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 4: more stressed about how they were going to pay their 253 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 4: mortgage and like still safe for me to go to 254 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 4: college than I really understood. 255 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,079 Speaker 1: And I feel grateful that they like kind of held 256 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: that from me for a little bit. But they were 257 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: really honest. They were brutally honest. They were like I 258 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 1: remember coming home with these jeans and my mom yelling 259 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,680 Speaker 1: at me and being like, you're so irresponsible. You don't 260 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,559 Speaker 1: understand the value of a dollar. And this is when 261 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:48,679 Speaker 1: I knew I had like messed up. I said, well, 262 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: the girl that I'd gone to the mall with my friend, 263 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: I was like, well, her her parents are cool with 264 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 1: her buying ripped jeans, and I think that really hurt 265 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: my mom. And she I could see you, like tears 266 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 1: like welling up in her eyes, and she said to me, 267 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: She's like, well, her dad's a lawyer and we're not millionaires, 268 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 1: and we can't do what they can for her for you. 269 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,840 Speaker 1: And I think that was like the first real financial 270 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 1: wake up call where I realized, like, people don't have 271 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 1: the same finances even if they live in similar neighborhoods, 272 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 1: a couple miles down the street from each other. And 273 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 1: I ran up the stairs, slammed my door, you know, 274 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: bawled my eyes out. And that was kind of the 275 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,680 Speaker 1: moment where I feel like I really made the decision. 276 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 1: I was like, I want to be rich as fuck 277 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 1: and I never ever want to worry about money ever again. 278 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: I want to be able to buy whatever I want. 279 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 1: I want to be able to do whatever I want, 280 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: and money can never be a limiting factor. Money can 281 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: never make me cry like this ever again. 282 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 3: I get it. 283 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 2: I mean I want that say, and I want that 284 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 2: piece for my kids, like I never want them to 285 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 2: have to not have something. 286 00:14:59,800 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 287 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, Now I'm going to make them work for it, 288 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 2: like I have already my plan. I'm like, I'm not 289 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 2: buying you a car. You will work for your car, 290 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 2: and then I'm going to show you the reward at 291 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 2: the end of it, which is what my grandpa did 292 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 2: for my brother. And I love that because it showed 293 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 2: work ethic. But it also shows that like if you, 294 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 2: you know, pay your bills on time, like there is 295 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: a you get, you get a little bonus. 296 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: Right. 297 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 3: I'm curious. 298 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 2: So in your journey to getting you know, and like 299 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 2: you said in your book, like rich af like what 300 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: is it? 301 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 3: Is it for you? Like what's the big thing? 302 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 1: Is it? 303 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 3: Investing? Is it? Like? Is it all? 304 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 2: Is it? 305 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 3: Mindset? Like what what? What are the main points like 306 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 3: to get there? 307 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: Yeah? What I do in the book is basically show 308 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 1: you how rich people think. Because it's not enough for 309 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 1: me to sit here and say you should budget, you 310 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: shouldn't negotiate for a raise, you should save, you should invest. 311 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: You heard it a thousand times and if you still 312 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: haven't done it, there's a reason why, because you don't 313 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: understand why you need to be doing these things. And 314 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: what is so important for you to understand is the 315 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: mindset behind doing those actions. So I'll give a great example. 316 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: One of my favorites is that we think rich people 317 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 1: are better than us. We think they're smarter, that they 318 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: work harder, they're bigger, taller, stronger, better, and they're not. 319 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: I'm here to tell you rich people are lazier than 320 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,800 Speaker 1: you and I. They are so much lazier. And you're 321 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 1: probably thinking, like, that's not true. The guy I saw 322 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: on the cover of Time magazine, he works so hard 323 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: he owns his own company. Like, great, good for you. 324 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 1: But I'm telling you, first and foremost, no, rich people 325 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: understand the value of labor and they are willing to 326 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: work hard to an extent. But they also recognize that 327 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: you have a human I have a human body. There 328 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: are only so many hours in a day that you 329 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: can work before your body gives out. You have a 330 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,879 Speaker 1: human brain. I have a human brain. There are only 331 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 1: so many hours a day that your brain can be 332 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: actively functioning and function well. You know what can work 333 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 1: twenty four to seven, doesn't need to go to the bathroom, 334 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: doesn't need to take a lunch break, doesn't need to 335 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 1: put on their makeup in the morning, doesn't need to 336 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:31,400 Speaker 1: commute to and fro your money, Your money can work 337 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: hard for you twenty four to seven. I would say 338 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: your brain and your body. You get about fourteen to 339 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,120 Speaker 1: sixteen hours a day. You'll be burnt out within six 340 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: to twelve months. And there are certainly people who work 341 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 1: an entire lifetime working like that. There are certainly people 342 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 1: who don't do that. But if you can make your 343 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:02,959 Speaker 1: money your partner, your two household income when you're single, 344 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,920 Speaker 1: they are your partner, your money can help you get 345 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 1: to every single goal you have faster than you can 346 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,120 Speaker 1: do it alone. 347 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 3: So give us an example. How do we do that? 348 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, so, I think you know, when you're talking about investing, 349 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 1: people think it's de trading. They're like, Okay, I gotta 350 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,440 Speaker 1: put in tons of hours and research and I gotta 351 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 1: buy like eighteen monitors and then I'm gonna pick the 352 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: perfect stock and it's gonna go up and everything's gonna 353 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: be amazing. Let me tell you, eighty five percent of 354 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 1: day traders lose money over a past a year. Over 355 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: a long term period, those stats are not good for you. 356 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: And as someone who has worked on Wall Street, I 357 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: saw hedge funds blow up and they weren't even day trading, 358 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,160 Speaker 1: they were just making investment choices. I saw them blow 359 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 1: up all the time. What I recommend for the average 360 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:58,239 Speaker 1: Joshmo who has maybe thirty minutes this weekend, maybe an 361 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:04,679 Speaker 1: hour every month to dedicate to investing, open up a 362 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: tax advantaged investment account. So maybe that is a roth 363 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: IRA or a traditional IRA. Maybe you already have one 364 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,919 Speaker 1: through your employer, like a four to oh one K 365 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,639 Speaker 1: or even just like an individual brokerage account. You're not 366 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: going to necessarily get any immediate tax benefits, but again, 367 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: you pay fewer taxes on investments than you ever would 368 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 1: on ordinary income as long as you are a long 369 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 1: term investor. And what you can do is then you 370 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,880 Speaker 1: take cash from your checking in savings account, you put 371 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: it into the investment account. And that's the problem. Everybody 372 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 1: gets to that step. They're like, I'm done, I'm invested. 373 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,120 Speaker 1: I put money into the you know, wrath ira, I'm 374 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: good to go. No you're not. You're not even close 375 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: to good to go. You need to take that money 376 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 1: in your roth ira and then you need to buy stuff. 377 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: You've never gone to the grocery store and walked around 378 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,479 Speaker 1: with your purse and then come home and then been 379 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 1: surprised is that there's no food in your fridge. Like 380 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,199 Speaker 1: you have to buy you know, fruit, you have to 381 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: buy veggies, you have to buy meats, cheeses, breads, whatever. 382 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 1: And you have to do the same thing with your investing. 383 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 1: So you've got to open the account. It's just like 384 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: a bag. You got to put cash in that bag. 385 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 1: You got to go to a grocery store, which you 386 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 1: know is any sort of brokerage that you're comfortable with, 387 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: and then you have to buy investments. And people are like, 388 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: what investments do I buy? I always say, just pick 389 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,680 Speaker 1: an index fund that tracks either the broader market or 390 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: the S and P five hundred and this will be 391 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,359 Speaker 1: an ETF, this will be a ticker like a VOO 392 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 1: or a VTI. You don't have to pick zillion things. 393 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 1: These will be diversified because they are baskets of investments. 394 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: Or just pick a target date retirement fund and with 395 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 1: that you're pretty much done and you just watch it 396 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 1: over the long term. Because time in the market beats 397 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 1: timing the market. Every single time, and it's very challenging 398 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: to pick the perfect investment. As long as you are 399 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 1: investing early and often you'll be in a pretty good 400 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: spot when you're getting close to retirement. 401 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,479 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, that sounds. That sounds it sounds are 402 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 2: you getting married? I think I saw that or heard that. 403 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:14,159 Speaker 1: I am getting married next June. Planning a wedding is 404 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:14,720 Speaker 1: a nightmare. 405 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 2: So in the middle of it as well, And it's 406 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 2: one of those things where I think we finally got 407 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 2: into a place where again we just moved into a 408 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,359 Speaker 2: new house. So for me, it was I just I 409 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,159 Speaker 2: wanted this safe and this home. I've been you know, 410 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 2: building for the last year. We finally moved in. But 411 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,680 Speaker 2: it's also scary because like interest rates are so high. 412 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 2: So I'm like I'm really feeling myself like tight grip 413 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:43,800 Speaker 2: the accounts and not and not spend literally anything. I'm like, 414 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 2: all right, it's gonna like there's no Christmas presents, but 415 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 2: I mean there'll be some, but I'm just saying like 416 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 2: it's like it's just gonna be you know, I'm just 417 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 2: I'm gripping really really tight now because it's just it's scary, right, 418 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 2: And so when I'm thinking about the wedding. For me, 419 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 2: it's like, all right, there's either an X or there's 420 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,960 Speaker 2: this one, or there's an ayre A and B. Right, 421 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 2: so we're like kind of splitting it in half. And 422 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 2: to me, I'm like, Okay, we can either just not 423 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 2: or right now, I'm stressed about money. But next year, 424 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 2: hopefully there'll be hopefully more that will come in and 425 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,480 Speaker 2: I won't be as stressed and maybe things will change whatever. 426 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 2: But I don't want to not have something because I'm 427 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 2: afraid to put the down positive, like the down payment 428 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 2: on because I think I would regret not having Now 429 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 2: we've decided that we're not going to do the big 430 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 2: one and it's just going to be like super small 431 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 2: and intimate, but it's still going to be a celebration. 432 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 2: And I think that's where we've come to, where it's like, Okay, 433 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:43,919 Speaker 2: let's meet in the middle. Let's not just go to 434 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 2: the courthouse, let's have something. It's just going to be 435 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 2: really small, but we're not blow you know, we're not 436 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 2: spending a lot of money. And I think that's where 437 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 2: we've gotten to. You know, obviously this being you know, 438 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 2: this isn't our first time for both of us. So 439 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 2: where are you on, like the kind of the money 440 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 2: side of things with weddings. 441 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very much in the same camp as you. 442 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 1: I don't want to regret it, right, Like, I love 443 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: my fiance. We want to have an amazing wedding. Shockingly enough, 444 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,719 Speaker 1: no one ever believes me when I say this, but like, 445 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: I'm quite a private person and I have a pretty 446 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,479 Speaker 1: tight circle of friends and it's the same five friends 447 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 1: that I've had since way back in the day. So 448 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 1: we had initially wanted a really small wedding eighty people, 449 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: and we had set aside, you know, I would say, 450 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: a pretty robust budget for the wedding. We we got 451 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,879 Speaker 1: engaged in Lake Como, and we thought, this is a 452 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: huge mistake by the way. We got engaged in Lake Como, 453 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 1: so it set this completely unrealistic expectation that I would 454 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: get to be a Disney princess. And then I was like, 455 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:01,919 Speaker 1: oh my god, it wouldn't be so fun if we 456 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,640 Speaker 1: got married in Lake Homa, Like as if Lake Homa 457 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,919 Speaker 1: wasn't like one of the most expensive places on earth 458 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: to get married. And the first venue that we saw 459 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:17,640 Speaker 1: we fell in love with Jane. To take a guess, 460 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 1: at how much this venue cost? 461 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 3: Oh man, I mean. 462 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,320 Speaker 2: Just guess just the venue alone, just the venue, babes. 463 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,160 Speaker 2: Let's see, when I was planning Gretzki's helping her plan 464 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 2: her wedding, was the met was about like one hundred, 465 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 2: So I'm going to say like one fifty just for 466 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 2: the venue. 467 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you got it right on. Yeah, they 468 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 1: they wanted one fifty and I was like, oh my god, 469 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: that is a huge that's like that would be even 470 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 1: like bath over half of our budget. And I was like, 471 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,399 Speaker 1: I can't spend more than half of our budget. 472 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 3: On just on the venue. 473 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 1: The venue. 474 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 2: And I was like, that's there's no food, there's no flowers, 475 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 2: you deserve coming, nothing. 476 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 1: You have that you have a little building and like 477 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: a nice view and that's about it. And I can't 478 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 1: do that. Like did I want to get married at 479 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:15,199 Speaker 1: that venue so bad? Yes? Yeah, obviously I just couldn't 480 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,080 Speaker 1: rationalize it. And my fiance and I went back and 481 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 1: forth and back and forth and we decided better not 482 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,680 Speaker 1: And did it suck in the moment, yes, But did 483 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:31,439 Speaker 1: we end up finding a similar venue for so much less? 484 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,199 Speaker 1: We've actually locked in on it. We're getting married at 485 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 1: villa Erba and it's this beautiful like castilee, like you know, 486 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: house covered in ivy type of beat in lake Homo. 487 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 1: Guess how much this venue was? 488 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 3: Thirty? 489 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,879 Speaker 1: Okay, literally, you gotta stop stealing my thunder. I'm like 490 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,440 Speaker 1: really walking together. 491 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 2: But well, I just so in wedding planning motor now, 492 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 2: so I'm like, okay, like from my searches, you're. 493 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: Too good, and so to compare, and certainly the one 494 00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,879 Speaker 1: fifty was for a three day buyout, but like do 495 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 1: we need that venue for three a? Certainly not. And 496 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 1: so to compare one fifty versus thirty thirty feels so 497 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:26,240 Speaker 1: manageable and it is so amazing because now I'm like, 498 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 1: all right, great, now we have so much more budget 499 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 1: for the flowers, for the food, for the entertainment, for 500 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,360 Speaker 1: anything else that we want to do. And it really 501 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,919 Speaker 1: does feel like did I have to make a sacrifice? 502 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 1: Like sure, you can call it that, but I think 503 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,040 Speaker 1: it's just called being mindful with your money and how 504 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 1: much value are you going to be able to squeeze 505 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,919 Speaker 1: out of a certain decision. The venue is important. I'm 506 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I wouldn't get married at an ugly venue. 507 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,439 Speaker 1: But Am I going to be spending an arm and 508 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,280 Speaker 1: a leg on flowers? Probably not. Don't really care about flowers. 509 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 2: Girl, Let's call the win. I like to call that 510 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,440 Speaker 2: one a win. That's just the wine, yeah exactly, Like, yeah, sure, 511 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 2: I wanted to be married at like freaking Orlando Disney 512 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 2: World Princess the you know what I mean, Like, I'm like, 513 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 2: that's that happening, But yeah, that's that's a win. 514 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. And then you know, I think it's just really 515 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 1: prioritizing what matters to you, Like, am I going to 516 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,120 Speaker 1: be spending a lot of flowers? Now? I don't really 517 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,919 Speaker 1: care about flowers. They die, They literally die. Do I 518 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,119 Speaker 1: want to spend as much as humanly possible on food? Yes, 519 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: Because of every single wedding that I've been to, all 520 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 1: but one of them had horrible food, and the one 521 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,119 Speaker 1: that had the best food, I tell that couple all 522 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: the time, your wedding was the best wedding I've ever 523 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 1: been to. And it was because they got catering from 524 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 1: local Brooklyn restaurants that are like impossible to get a 525 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,359 Speaker 1: reservation at. So it literally felt like I was getting 526 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,800 Speaker 1: like secret VIP service to like taste the special pizza 527 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,439 Speaker 1: and the special ice cream and the special pie or whatever. 528 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 1: And I love food and it really is something that 529 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: brings me a lot of happiness and value, and I 530 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,960 Speaker 1: know it does for my family and friends. So I 531 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 1: think it's just spending money on things that matter to you. 532 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 3: I love that. 533 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,119 Speaker 2: Well, I just I'm excited for you. I'm excited for 534 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 2: your book. Where can our listeners find you and just 535 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 2: like hear more about everything that you're doing. 536 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can find me across social media as your 537 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 1: rich BFF, and if you are interested in purchasing the book, 538 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: you can go to richaf dot me. Yes, I know 539 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: that you are a manifestation because I'm that kind of girl. 540 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 1: But I really just like want people to use this 541 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 1: as a resource to pick it up from page one 542 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 1: to the very last page and be able to feel 543 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 1: more financially stable, more financially confident, and empowered to like 544 00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: live their best life because money isn't holding them back. 545 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,480 Speaker 2: Sure, absolutely, well, I love that so much. And good 546 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 2: luck with your wedding. And that's not way to read 547 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,719 Speaker 2: the book. So thanks for coming on, Thank you so much. Okay, 548 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 2: bye girl, Bye