WEBVTT - Stay in touch

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to stay in touch. While social media

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<v Speaker 1>makes it easy to believe we are still in contact

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<v Speaker 1>with people from the past, more personal approaches are better

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<v Speaker 1>for truly keeping a relationship strong. Modern communication is often strange.

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<v Speaker 1>There are a few folks who I have met once

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<v Speaker 1>or twice over the years, and I have followed them

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<v Speaker 1>on social media as you do, and I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>we have stayed in touch. But then when I bother

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<v Speaker 1>to look back, I see it has been years since

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<v Speaker 1>the last email we have sent to each other. I

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<v Speaker 1>wouldn't fault them for not remembering who on earth I

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<v Speaker 1>was if all I'm doing is liking their posts. But

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<v Speaker 1>what's funny about that is that reading all of their

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<v Speaker 1>posts and such took a reasonable amount of time. It's

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<v Speaker 1>just that that time wasn't actually invested in building the relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Since it is easy to not stay in touch, it

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<v Speaker 1>helps to be a bit more systematic about it. No,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have to be too systematic. Perhaps you have

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<v Speaker 1>folks in your life who unfailingly contact you. At the

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<v Speaker 1>beginning of January, the beginning of April, the beginning of July,

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<v Speaker 1>and so forth. What's happened is they have probably created

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<v Speaker 1>a schedule to reach out to everyone they know every

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<v Speaker 1>ninety days, and that happens to be when your date

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<v Speaker 1>comes up. It is kind of funny. But on the

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<v Speaker 1>other hand, I will say that you probably remember these

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<v Speaker 1>people's names. That's more than we can say for most

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<v Speaker 1>of us. To perhaps feel a bit more authentic about

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<v Speaker 1>the process, it's best to just carve out some time

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<v Speaker 1>every week or ideally each day to reach out to people.

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<v Speaker 1>My friend Molly Beck wrote a book about doing just that.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called reach Out, and each weekday she reaches out

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<v Speaker 1>to one new person. Not all of these messages come

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<v Speaker 1>to anything, but some do. I was the target of

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<v Speaker 1>a reach out in and we have stayed in touch

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<v Speaker 1>ever since. She was recently a guest on my other podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>Best of Both Worlds. But it's not just about reaching

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<v Speaker 1>out to new people. I think Molly would tell you

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<v Speaker 1>that reaching out in order to stay in touch with

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<v Speaker 1>existing contexts is one of the most efficient ways to

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<v Speaker 1>do anything in this world. For instance, let's say you

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<v Speaker 1>need to hire someone, especially if it's for the sort

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<v Speaker 1>of job that people don't spend their whole lives doing.

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<v Speaker 1>You probably have a wide pool of people you know

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<v Speaker 1>who have worked with you in the past. If you

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<v Speaker 1>have stayed in touch. That's how you can find someone

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<v Speaker 1>you liked who might want to come back for a while.

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<v Speaker 1>If you need to learn about a new topic or

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<v Speaker 1>find a friend in a new town, the folks you've

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<v Speaker 1>met in the past will be there to help out

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<v Speaker 1>if you stay in touch. One way to stay in

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<v Speaker 1>touch might be to use social media strategically. Follow people

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<v Speaker 1>as you normally would, but whenever you see someone posts

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<v Speaker 1>something interesting, write a personal note to them about it.

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<v Speaker 1>It will stand out more than it would in a

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<v Speaker 1>slew of comments and likes. Occasionally scroll through lists of

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<v Speaker 1>people you follow. If you haven't heard from someone in

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<v Speaker 1>a while, and especially if they haven't been posting much,

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<v Speaker 1>reach out to see what they are up to. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>it helps to have a reason to make this feel authentic,

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<v Speaker 1>but I am sure you can come up with one

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<v Speaker 1>if you need to. Hey, I just saw John from

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<v Speaker 1>our dorm last week and it reminded me to say hello.

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<v Speaker 1>Or I just went to Puerto Rico last month, and

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<v Speaker 1>I remember that trip you took there when we were

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<v Speaker 1>first working together. This is not rocket science. You can

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<v Speaker 1>do this if it helps you stay accountable. You can

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<v Speaker 1>set this as a daily task, as Molly recommends doing,

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<v Speaker 1>or write down the names of folks you've reached out

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<v Speaker 1>to in a notebook. Make sure that some of your

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<v Speaker 1>messages aren't just responses. You are initiating outgoing ones too,

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<v Speaker 1>and don't expect miracles overnight from just staying in touch.

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<v Speaker 1>It helps to begin this discipline. When you don't actually

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<v Speaker 1>need anything, you are just being sociable. You are just

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<v Speaker 1>expressing interest in other people's lives. But when you do

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<v Speaker 1>need something, you are not realizing that. Again, you haven't

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<v Speaker 1>reached out to someone in six years, and by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>they've closed that mailbox. Whoops. In the meantime, this is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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<v Speaker 1>You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast Pod that's B the number four then Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>p o D. You can also shoot me an email

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<v Speaker 1>at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeartMedia dot com that before

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<v Speaker 1>breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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