1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio. 2 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to stay in touch. While social media 4 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 1: makes it easy to believe we are still in contact 5 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: with people from the past, more personal approaches are better 6 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: for truly keeping a relationship strong. Modern communication is often strange. 7 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: There are a few folks who I have met once 8 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,919 Speaker 1: or twice over the years, and I have followed them 9 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: on social media as you do, and I feel like 10 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: we have stayed in touch. But then when I bother 11 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: to look back, I see it has been years since 12 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: the last email we have sent to each other. I 13 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't fault them for not remembering who on earth I 14 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: was if all I'm doing is liking their posts. But 15 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: what's funny about that is that reading all of their 16 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: posts and such took a reasonable amount of time. It's 17 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 1: just that that time wasn't actually invested in building the relationship. 18 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: Since it is easy to not stay in touch, it 19 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 1: helps to be a bit more systematic about it. No, 20 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: you don't have to be too systematic. Perhaps you have 21 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: folks in your life who unfailingly contact you. At the 22 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: beginning of January, the beginning of April, the beginning of July, 23 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: and so forth. What's happened is they have probably created 24 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: a schedule to reach out to everyone they know every 25 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: ninety days, and that happens to be when your date 26 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: comes up. It is kind of funny. But on the 27 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 1: other hand, I will say that you probably remember these 28 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: people's names. That's more than we can say for most 29 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: of us. To perhaps feel a bit more authentic about 30 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: the process, it's best to just carve out some time 31 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: every week or ideally each day to reach out to people. 32 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 1: My friend Molly Beck wrote a book about doing just that. 33 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: It's called reach Out, and each weekday she reaches out 34 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: to one new person. Not all of these messages come 35 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: to anything, but some do. I was the target of 36 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: a reach out in and we have stayed in touch 37 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: ever since. She was recently a guest on my other podcast, 38 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: Best of Both Worlds. But it's not just about reaching 39 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: out to new people. I think Molly would tell you 40 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: that reaching out in order to stay in touch with 41 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: existing contexts is one of the most efficient ways to 42 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 1: do anything in this world. For instance, let's say you 43 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,799 Speaker 1: need to hire someone, especially if it's for the sort 44 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: of job that people don't spend their whole lives doing. 45 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: You probably have a wide pool of people you know 46 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: who have worked with you in the past. If you 47 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: have stayed in touch. That's how you can find someone 48 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: you liked who might want to come back for a while. 49 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,239 Speaker 1: If you need to learn about a new topic or 50 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,239 Speaker 1: find a friend in a new town, the folks you've 51 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: met in the past will be there to help out 52 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: if you stay in touch. One way to stay in 53 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: touch might be to use social media strategically. Follow people 54 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: as you normally would, but whenever you see someone posts 55 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 1: something interesting, write a personal note to them about it. 56 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: It will stand out more than it would in a 57 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: slew of comments and likes. Occasionally scroll through lists of 58 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: people you follow. If you haven't heard from someone in 59 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: a while, and especially if they haven't been posting much, 60 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: reach out to see what they are up to. Sometimes 61 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: it helps to have a reason to make this feel authentic, 62 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: but I am sure you can come up with one 63 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: if you need to. Hey, I just saw John from 64 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: our dorm last week and it reminded me to say hello. 65 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 1: Or I just went to Puerto Rico last month, and 66 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: I remember that trip you took there when we were 67 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 1: first working together. This is not rocket science. You can 68 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: do this if it helps you stay accountable. You can 69 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: set this as a daily task, as Molly recommends doing, 70 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 1: or write down the names of folks you've reached out 71 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: to in a notebook. Make sure that some of your 72 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: messages aren't just responses. You are initiating outgoing ones too, 73 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: and don't expect miracles overnight from just staying in touch. 74 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: It helps to begin this discipline. When you don't actually 75 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:06,160 Speaker 1: need anything, you are just being sociable. You are just 76 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: expressing interest in other people's lives. But when you do 77 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:15,919 Speaker 1: need something, you are not realizing that. Again, you haven't 78 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: reached out to someone in six years, and by the way, 79 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: they've closed that mailbox. Whoops. In the meantime, this is Laura. 80 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of 81 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you. 82 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else. 83 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at 84 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast Pod that's B the number four then Breakfast 85 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: p o D. You can also shoot me an email 86 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:02,119 Speaker 1: at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeartMedia dot com that before 87 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 88 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:13,680 Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is 89 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from 90 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 91 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Yea