WEBVTT - I Choose … Quirky, Curious and Kind Part II with Carrie Preston

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi, everyone,

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<v Speaker 1>welcome back to I Choose Me. Garrie Preston's career has

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<v Speaker 1>ebbed and flowed on her own terms, including how she

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<v Speaker 1>has chosen to age in front of the world. So

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<v Speaker 1>let's jump back into our conversation. So, working in this industry,

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<v Speaker 1>as we both have for decades, means evolving aka aging

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<v Speaker 1>in front of all the cameras. Yes, how do you

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<v Speaker 1>protect your sense of self as those expectations that we

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<v Speaker 1>talked about were earlier in your career are still there.

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<v Speaker 1>They seem to continually hover and shift.

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<v Speaker 2>They do, they do, And you know, social media is

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<v Speaker 2>not helping anybody.

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<v Speaker 3>But I am, you know, in the same way that

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<v Speaker 3>I spoke about that.

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<v Speaker 2>Time when I got that note. I do try to

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<v Speaker 2>keep it in perspective. I try to, you know, for me,

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<v Speaker 2>I try to take care of my body and the

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<v Speaker 2>best way I know how.

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<v Speaker 3>I try to eat well. I try to, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>get my sleep. I do. I try to exercise, meditate.

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<v Speaker 1>We're doing all the things.

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<v Speaker 3>I try to do all the things.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you know, I'm I'm lucky enough right now

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<v Speaker 2>to be playing a character that doesn't need to or

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't feel the need to, you know, present herself in

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<v Speaker 2>a certain way, and so I feel lucky, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>I try to look.

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<v Speaker 2>Good and then I just play the character and hope

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<v Speaker 2>that that's going to be enough and that you know,

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<v Speaker 2>that will lead to other things. And I look at

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<v Speaker 2>people who I admire, you know, like Meryl Street, Frances McDorman,

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<v Speaker 2>Alison Janney, and I see, you know, those careers and

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<v Speaker 2>what they've done and how they've grown, and that's what

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<v Speaker 2>I endeavor to do in the way I, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>choose to age and also the way I choose to

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<v Speaker 2>be creative, and so I draw inspiration from them.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's good having those I always was so in

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<v Speaker 1>love with Jessica Lang.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Jessica Lang, same yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And just watching how she aged so beautifully and gracefully

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<v Speaker 1>and same yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And I just love that.

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<v Speaker 2>I want that for myself, and I want that for

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<v Speaker 2>the characters that I play.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't done botox, haven't done anything. I want to

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<v Speaker 2>be able to, you know, express myself with my face.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's sort of a part of your job. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>it's sort of gotten me where I am. As far

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<v Speaker 3>as the types of characters that I play, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>and so.

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<v Speaker 2>I like doing that, but I also feel like, oh, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to age pastor than some of the people

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<v Speaker 2>that are, you know, preserving their faces in a different way.

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<v Speaker 2>And okay, that's okay with me. I think I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to be able to you know, somebody is going to

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<v Speaker 2>need to play the grandmother, you know, so.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh. Yes, we're not going to have any

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<v Speaker 1>fluffy or plus size actresses anymore. And we're not gonna

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<v Speaker 1>have anybody with wrinkles. I know.

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<v Speaker 3>It's interesting, right, There's gonna.

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<v Speaker 1>Be a lot of work for certain types. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I think you're doing You're on the right track and

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<v Speaker 1>also very just admirable to you know, want to age

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<v Speaker 1>gracefully and naturally, and yeah, be true to you.

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<v Speaker 2>And I want people who watch my show to go,

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<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, that's that's This is a mature woman, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>who's having a who's reinventing herself and you know, she's

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<v Speaker 2>she's found this new job and that's the love of

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<v Speaker 2>her life is this work, and you know, and she

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<v Speaker 2>continues to find delight and joy and everything that she

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<v Speaker 2>comes across. That's you know, at this point in her life.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, that fire inside of her is so inspiring, and

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<v Speaker 1>that doesn't that fire doesn't really depend on what she

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<v Speaker 1>looks like or how she's aging, which is so cool.

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<v Speaker 3>Right. I don't think she thinks of her age much

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<v Speaker 3>at all.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, you know, I guess maybe we shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 3>We shouldn't, I go, we shouldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, but we're you know, we're in such an

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<v Speaker 2>age obsessed world in our country.

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<v Speaker 1>For sure, you advocate for causes that are close to

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<v Speaker 1>your heart. I know you work with lgbt Q I

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<v Speaker 1>A plus.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think that choosing to help others is also

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<v Speaker 1>a form of self care or choosing yourself ultimately?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh? Yeah, I think so for sure.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you know, when I was contemplating what I

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<v Speaker 2>would say to the question that, you know what, what's

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<v Speaker 2>the last thing that you use yourself?

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<v Speaker 3>And I was like, gosh, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Feel like I feel like I choose myself just by

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<v Speaker 2>being generous, Like how isn't that the same?

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<v Speaker 3>Is that the same? I think it is.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I try to be generous of part of spirit,

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<v Speaker 2>of money, of love, of creativity, you know, and all

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<v Speaker 2>of that, and that just feeds you know me. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I love that I want to create an environment on

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<v Speaker 2>at work that people are happy to come to, that

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<v Speaker 2>people feel joy about.

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<v Speaker 3>You know. I try to.

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<v Speaker 2>Approach this job as the lead of a show, as

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<v Speaker 2>an ensemble player.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't set myself apart.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want anyone to think of me as anything

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<v Speaker 2>different than anyone else.

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<v Speaker 3>Who's part of this crew.

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<v Speaker 2>There are three hundred people who make this show that

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<v Speaker 2>happens to be named after one character. There are three

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<v Speaker 2>hundred people and more that make it. I want everybody

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<v Speaker 2>to feel ownership of that and part of that, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>I want that LGBT community to see stories that represent

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<v Speaker 2>them and their lives, and I want to support any

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<v Speaker 2>stories that do that.

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<v Speaker 3>And you know, especially now, there's just a lot of bad.

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<v Speaker 2>Othering that's going on in the world, and I, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I just don't think that's the way to make the

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<v Speaker 2>world a better place, you know, So I like supporting

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<v Speaker 2>those those causes and those types of artists.

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<v Speaker 3>It's so important, Yeah, who are telling those stories, right.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>And also being the star of the show. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>even though you like to think of it as an ensemble,

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<v Speaker 1>which it definitely is, because without everybody else, there would

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<v Speaker 1>be no show. There would be no Elsbeth. So, but

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<v Speaker 1>you do have that sort of like in the back

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<v Speaker 1>of your mind, that responsibility to this whole group of people,

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<v Speaker 1>these crew members who are working to pay their bills,

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<v Speaker 1>and these actors that are getting their first break or

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<v Speaker 1>maybe background actors that are so excited to be on

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<v Speaker 1>the set. You know, you're really setting the tone for

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<v Speaker 1>that environment, and it sounds like you really hold space

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<v Speaker 1>to make that pleasant for everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>I do endeavor to do that. Yes, that's one of

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<v Speaker 2>my main goals. And you know, I'm proud to say

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<v Speaker 2>that we're we have a reputation of it being a

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<v Speaker 2>wonderful place to come and work.

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<v Speaker 3>And our crew, you know, they keep coming back.

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<v Speaker 2>Our crew comes back every year, and you know, actors

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<v Speaker 2>want to be on the show. People are asking can

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<v Speaker 2>I be on the show, And that's just that. I

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<v Speaker 2>feel very proud of all of us that we've come

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<v Speaker 2>up with that together and that you know, people want

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<v Speaker 2>to come and play with us.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, creating that culture so.

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<v Speaker 3>Feel safe there and feel welcomed.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's so important. My husband's in the hospitality business,

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<v Speaker 1>so he like that, right, So it's so important that

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<v Speaker 1>people come to your place, Yeah, and feel comfortable and

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<v Speaker 1>seeing and represented and.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah all that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love that you take that seriously.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's like almost my number one thing. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>my number one thing I guess is you know, learn

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<v Speaker 2>the lines and standard your mark.

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<v Speaker 3>But you know, alongside.

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<v Speaker 2>That's it's that, it's it's working to make so that

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<v Speaker 2>we have a cohesive so that everybody is there with

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<v Speaker 2>one common goal, which is to tell this particular story

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<v Speaker 2>and to do it on time and on budget and

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<v Speaker 2>to delight people.

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<v Speaker 3>And you know, yeah, what's better than that, what's.

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<v Speaker 1>Better than that? You said it? You're living the dream.

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<v Speaker 3>I do feel very you know, blessed.

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<v Speaker 2>You're blessed, but you've also worked really hard, right, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I want to make sure that I, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't take.

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<v Speaker 3>It for granted and that it's not so it really is.

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<v Speaker 2>Not lost on me, you know this this moment, because

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<v Speaker 2>it's it can go away tomorrow. We have a crazy business.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, the industry is really volatile really, so you know.

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<v Speaker 3>I really want to enjoy it now.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm enjoying it for you, Like this is so

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<v Speaker 1>good for you. I love it. You've had such a

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<v Speaker 1>long and steady career without disappearing or imploding, which happens

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<v Speaker 1>a lot, but this is very rare to have someone

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<v Speaker 1>like you. What what do you What do you think

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<v Speaker 1>is the one choice that you make quietly that keeps

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<v Speaker 1>you sane and working all these years.

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<v Speaker 2>I think as far as work goes, I guess it's

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<v Speaker 2>about uh, releasing.

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<v Speaker 3>There's a lot of releasing, the need.

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<v Speaker 2>To get the job, to be told you're the best

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<v Speaker 2>to to you know, all of that has you have

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<v Speaker 2>to come to a kind of place, a zen place

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<v Speaker 2>about it. You know, a good friend of mine who's

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<v Speaker 2>an acting coach, he's also an actor, Jack Plotnik. He

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<v Speaker 2>gave me this mantra once that I hold on to

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<v Speaker 2>and it goes, this or something greater for my highest

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<v Speaker 2>good and the highest good of all concerned, Meaning you

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<v Speaker 2>go in, you do your best if you're auditioning for something,

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<v Speaker 2>or even if you're doing a job, and if it's

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<v Speaker 2>not for you, it's meant for someone else and that's

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<v Speaker 2>for the highest good. And so it kind of releases

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<v Speaker 2>the pressure that you put on yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, perfect too.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, you can only do what you can do

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<v Speaker 2>with what you have at that moment, with that material,

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<v Speaker 2>with those people, in that room, and then it's up

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<v Speaker 2>to you know, something higher, right.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, it's a lot of surrender to it.

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<v Speaker 1>Right for sure. And that's applies to not just you know, auditioning,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just being human, having a human experience day

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<v Speaker 1>to day, moment to moment. It sort of feels like

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<v Speaker 1>releasing something I loved to think about as releasing the

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<v Speaker 1>attachments that I put on the importance I put onto

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<v Speaker 1>things like being the best or getting the thing or

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<v Speaker 1>you know, making everybody happy.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you know, the Buddhists say that the two

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<v Speaker 2>two things that make up human condition condition or attachment

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<v Speaker 2>and aversion.

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<v Speaker 3>So you're attached to.

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<v Speaker 2>Something or you're pushing something away and that you know,

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<v Speaker 2>that's suffering being in the moment, and that makes you suffer.

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<v Speaker 2>And so you know, it's it's a lesson that you

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<v Speaker 2>spend a lifetime trying to learn.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, every day you go back to that, Oh boy.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm you know, I'm attached to this, or I you know, boy,

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<v Speaker 2>I really got hijacked by that, or wow, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>there's a lot of observing about what is going on

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<v Speaker 2>with you?

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<v Speaker 3>Why am I reacting this way? Oh boy? There was

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<v Speaker 3>no space.

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<v Speaker 2>Between that stimulus and that response. Wow, gotta work on that,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. So you know, I'm constantly trying to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I try to assess, like.

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<v Speaker 3>What do I need to work on? What?

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<v Speaker 1>What?

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<v Speaker 2>How can I improve myself without being too hard on myself?

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<v Speaker 2>So that's that's the balance, Yeah, because that can be

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<v Speaker 2>hard on myself too.

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<v Speaker 1>It's really hard. I say, stop pointing the finger and

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<v Speaker 1>start pulling the thumb so that you are in a

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<v Speaker 1>space where you can be you know, self aware and

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<v Speaker 1>sort of conscious of what you're creating around you.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>And but yeah, I think it's so so good, such

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<v Speaker 1>good advice for everybody listening. This has been such an

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<v Speaker 1>incredible conversation. Thank you for coming on the show.

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<v Speaker 3>It was so nice to talk to you, and thanks

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<v Speaker 3>for having me of course. Bye.